The Amazing World of Gumball (2011) s06e33 Episode Script
The Silence
I'm just saying, how did anybody ever name anything? Was some caveman like, "Hey, guys, I'm gonna call this thing a spoon," and everyone else was like, "Deal"? There needs to be some logic so you know what stuff is for.
I would've called them mouth-shovels.
Agreed.
Like moths should be called goth butterflies.
Beards should be called mouth curtains.
Puppies should be called doglets.
But what about stuff that doesn't already have a name? Like that state you're in when you go to pee-pee in the night but you're still trying stay asleep so you can go back to bed right away? Hmm Sleep-pee-peeing! Sleep-pee-peeing! What do you reckon would be your music fish name? Cod Kobain? Lil' Whale? Sharkira? Salmon & Carpfunkel.
Dude, this pizza is so frozen, I can't tell if that's parmesan or ice crystals.
And this pepperoni is saltier than texting the letter "K" as a reply.
Yeah! And this corn is uh Dude, I-I -- I can't think of anything.
Try harder.
Okay, I'll try to come up with something to say, then.
Dude What is going on?! What is going on?! One last time.
Gumball, what's happening to us? I don't know, man! It's like we've run out of things to say to each other.
Try to think of your relationship in terms of a house.
You need to have strong foundations, ideally with a man-cave.
You also need space -- Two stories, with a screening room for movie nights should do, right? Yeah.
Yeah.
And how about a hot tub for the winter? And a swimming pool for summer? Yeah! Yeah! Great! Sign this, please.
Now, let me talk you through the process.
We start with you as you are right now -- With a problem, then, we exchange, then you leave happily.
Does that sound good? Yeah, I think so.
Great.
So let's exchange.
Well, it seems we've run out of things to say and -- Bu-bu-bup! I meant exchange my services for your money.
Oh, sorry.
Yes, of course.
Very good.
So, yeah, this never used to happen to us, but now it's like -- And now goodbye.
Whoa, wait! What about all that "building a house" stuff? Oh, we're building, all right.
My pool house! Bye! Okay.
What if we try something a little more off-the-charts? No, please.
Not him.
Look, science let us down.
We might as well give him a chance.
Please, don't say it.
Alternative No Alternative medicine Please! No! Alternative Medicine.
Did someone say alternative medicine? So, you're saying you have no wind in your sails.
Yes.
The train won't leave the station.
Yes.
The goose is stuck in the hammock.
Y-e-e-es? The potato is wedged in your tailpipe.
I'm not sure what we're talking about anymore.
You've got trouble talking.
Yes.
Hmm, I see.
I think we need to release the holisticness of your third-eye chakras in order to boost your aura and stimulate the flow of chi to your tongue.
What does that mean? It means this! How do you feel? Like I got punctured 200 times and set on fire.
I meant between the two of you.
No.
Still have nothing to say to him.
Me, neither.
Wait.
Wait! I -- I can feel something coming! Yeah, me, too.
It's like my tongue is tingling.
Mithmer Thmall! Whussgoinunh?! Hmm, that's really weird.
I've done this procedure three times before, and all my other patients had exactly the same result.
What are the odds? Ohn nuh! But don't panic.
Their lives went back to normal very quickly.
Once they accepted that this was their life now.
You know, Darwin, as that backstreet doctor was finally draining the excess fluid out of our screaming faces using that grease-coated bicycle pump, I had an eye-opening moment.
Tell me about it.
My eyes are still popping out in shock.
No, I mean that man had no diploma.
He was just pretending to be a doctor.
So? So what if we pretended, too? I don't get it.
Well, you know how we can't keep up a conversa-- Yeah, it goes limper than an animator's handshake.
Aah! Exactly.
But what if it wasn't us doing the talking? What do you mean? Role-playing! If it works for fedora wizards in some basement, why not us? Who you gonna be, then? I'm Akane Ryuuku, a shy anime kawaii girl who likes corgis and friendship.
Okay, let's go.
Hey! Oh, h-hey.
I'm Akane-chan.
I'm not used to talk to people.
Asterisk, blushes and turns away.
Congratulations! You've win E-phone black edition! Sugoi! Thank you, Sleve McDichael sempai.
It's the first time someone makes Akane-chan a present.
Asterisk, looks away all flustered.
You want to be friends with Akane? What?! Question mark.
Equals my message not going through? Chat with me now and win dollars, dollars, dollars! What? Click link and talk.
Mm.
Aah! Aah! Aah! Aah! Aah! Dude, what the what were you role-playing?! A bot.
So even Akane's conversation wasn't real? Asterisk, bashes head on wall in anguish! Asterisk, and realize it hurts a lot more in real life than in writing.
Unh! H-uh-uh-uu Hu ah-ah-ah Richard, honey, if it's pretty much all you do, you need to watch the way you sit.
You should have a straight back and your knees at a 90-degree angle.
It's important for your legs and hips to be in the correct position.
Still some kind of improvement, I guess.
Dude, that's it! Maybe all it takes is for us to change position a little! Do you feel anything? No.
How about now? No.
Maybe a little shame.
No? No.
Now? No.
No? No.
How's that? Look.
What? Maybe what we really need is Please, don't say it.
I have to.
Please, don't.
I have to.
Otherwise, you won't actually know what I mean.
I already know what you're gonna say.
You mean Aaaah! Aaah! Oh, forget it.
Where could he be?! Okay, to find him, we just have to think like him.
Okay.
I'm thinking I love my dad.
So I'm thinking he deserves a treat, a sandwich, and a backup sandwich with pickles and mayo and chips on the side.
Dagnabit, Darwin, stop thinking about sandwiches! How does that kid get anything done? Look! Darwin would have stopped to pet this kitten.
And if he was petting a kitten, that would get him thinking about other soft things, which would have made him think about clouds! Which would have made him look up and see that billboard ad for undergarments for elderly women.
Which would have embarrassed him, so he would have turned this way.
What? Trust me! The number of seconds Darwin would have held his breath as he walked past that hot-dog stand because he thinks breathing in the smell is stealing if you don't pay for it.
He would have gotten woozy at this point and needed some fresh air.
Uh, this way! Yes! He'd have walked past this and heard the music.
But he wouldn't have been able to resist doing his little dance.
Oh! And he always ends with a cranking turn.
Which would have ended up with him facing this way! Of course! An abandoned shoe! That would have made him think of soles.
And what music do you need soul for? That's ight -- blues music.
But Darwin doesn't like blues, he likes yodeling.
And where does yodeling come from? Switzerland.
And what are the Swiss famous for? Cheese.
And Swiss cheese is full of holes.
And what else has holes in it? Plots of bad TV shows that use hack writing to resolve an important bit of action.
And where do these shows belong? The dump! You found me But how? I just followed your logic, dude.
Even the Swiss cheese? I think I know what happened, Darwin.
We know each other so well, we don't even need to talk anymore.
Really? What am I thinking right now? You're thinking, "Please remove your knee from my crotch.
" It's true.
No, but really, please move it.
I would've called them mouth-shovels.
Agreed.
Like moths should be called goth butterflies.
Beards should be called mouth curtains.
Puppies should be called doglets.
But what about stuff that doesn't already have a name? Like that state you're in when you go to pee-pee in the night but you're still trying stay asleep so you can go back to bed right away? Hmm Sleep-pee-peeing! Sleep-pee-peeing! What do you reckon would be your music fish name? Cod Kobain? Lil' Whale? Sharkira? Salmon & Carpfunkel.
Dude, this pizza is so frozen, I can't tell if that's parmesan or ice crystals.
And this pepperoni is saltier than texting the letter "K" as a reply.
Yeah! And this corn is uh Dude, I-I -- I can't think of anything.
Try harder.
Okay, I'll try to come up with something to say, then.
Dude What is going on?! What is going on?! One last time.
Gumball, what's happening to us? I don't know, man! It's like we've run out of things to say to each other.
Try to think of your relationship in terms of a house.
You need to have strong foundations, ideally with a man-cave.
You also need space -- Two stories, with a screening room for movie nights should do, right? Yeah.
Yeah.
And how about a hot tub for the winter? And a swimming pool for summer? Yeah! Yeah! Great! Sign this, please.
Now, let me talk you through the process.
We start with you as you are right now -- With a problem, then, we exchange, then you leave happily.
Does that sound good? Yeah, I think so.
Great.
So let's exchange.
Well, it seems we've run out of things to say and -- Bu-bu-bup! I meant exchange my services for your money.
Oh, sorry.
Yes, of course.
Very good.
So, yeah, this never used to happen to us, but now it's like -- And now goodbye.
Whoa, wait! What about all that "building a house" stuff? Oh, we're building, all right.
My pool house! Bye! Okay.
What if we try something a little more off-the-charts? No, please.
Not him.
Look, science let us down.
We might as well give him a chance.
Please, don't say it.
Alternative No Alternative medicine Please! No! Alternative Medicine.
Did someone say alternative medicine? So, you're saying you have no wind in your sails.
Yes.
The train won't leave the station.
Yes.
The goose is stuck in the hammock.
Y-e-e-es? The potato is wedged in your tailpipe.
I'm not sure what we're talking about anymore.
You've got trouble talking.
Yes.
Hmm, I see.
I think we need to release the holisticness of your third-eye chakras in order to boost your aura and stimulate the flow of chi to your tongue.
What does that mean? It means this! How do you feel? Like I got punctured 200 times and set on fire.
I meant between the two of you.
No.
Still have nothing to say to him.
Me, neither.
Wait.
Wait! I -- I can feel something coming! Yeah, me, too.
It's like my tongue is tingling.
Mithmer Thmall! Whussgoinunh?! Hmm, that's really weird.
I've done this procedure three times before, and all my other patients had exactly the same result.
What are the odds? Ohn nuh! But don't panic.
Their lives went back to normal very quickly.
Once they accepted that this was their life now.
You know, Darwin, as that backstreet doctor was finally draining the excess fluid out of our screaming faces using that grease-coated bicycle pump, I had an eye-opening moment.
Tell me about it.
My eyes are still popping out in shock.
No, I mean that man had no diploma.
He was just pretending to be a doctor.
So? So what if we pretended, too? I don't get it.
Well, you know how we can't keep up a conversa-- Yeah, it goes limper than an animator's handshake.
Aah! Exactly.
But what if it wasn't us doing the talking? What do you mean? Role-playing! If it works for fedora wizards in some basement, why not us? Who you gonna be, then? I'm Akane Ryuuku, a shy anime kawaii girl who likes corgis and friendship.
Okay, let's go.
Hey! Oh, h-hey.
I'm Akane-chan.
I'm not used to talk to people.
Asterisk, blushes and turns away.
Congratulations! You've win E-phone black edition! Sugoi! Thank you, Sleve McDichael sempai.
It's the first time someone makes Akane-chan a present.
Asterisk, looks away all flustered.
You want to be friends with Akane? What?! Question mark.
Equals my message not going through? Chat with me now and win dollars, dollars, dollars! What? Click link and talk.
Mm.
Aah! Aah! Aah! Aah! Aah! Dude, what the what were you role-playing?! A bot.
So even Akane's conversation wasn't real? Asterisk, bashes head on wall in anguish! Asterisk, and realize it hurts a lot more in real life than in writing.
Unh! H-uh-uh-uu Hu ah-ah-ah Richard, honey, if it's pretty much all you do, you need to watch the way you sit.
You should have a straight back and your knees at a 90-degree angle.
It's important for your legs and hips to be in the correct position.
Still some kind of improvement, I guess.
Dude, that's it! Maybe all it takes is for us to change position a little! Do you feel anything? No.
How about now? No.
Maybe a little shame.
No? No.
Now? No.
No? No.
How's that? Look.
What? Maybe what we really need is Please, don't say it.
I have to.
Please, don't.
I have to.
Otherwise, you won't actually know what I mean.
I already know what you're gonna say.
You mean Aaaah! Aaah! Oh, forget it.
Where could he be?! Okay, to find him, we just have to think like him.
Okay.
I'm thinking I love my dad.
So I'm thinking he deserves a treat, a sandwich, and a backup sandwich with pickles and mayo and chips on the side.
Dagnabit, Darwin, stop thinking about sandwiches! How does that kid get anything done? Look! Darwin would have stopped to pet this kitten.
And if he was petting a kitten, that would get him thinking about other soft things, which would have made him think about clouds! Which would have made him look up and see that billboard ad for undergarments for elderly women.
Which would have embarrassed him, so he would have turned this way.
What? Trust me! The number of seconds Darwin would have held his breath as he walked past that hot-dog stand because he thinks breathing in the smell is stealing if you don't pay for it.
He would have gotten woozy at this point and needed some fresh air.
Uh, this way! Yes! He'd have walked past this and heard the music.
But he wouldn't have been able to resist doing his little dance.
Oh! And he always ends with a cranking turn.
Which would have ended up with him facing this way! Of course! An abandoned shoe! That would have made him think of soles.
And what music do you need soul for? That's ight -- blues music.
But Darwin doesn't like blues, he likes yodeling.
And where does yodeling come from? Switzerland.
And what are the Swiss famous for? Cheese.
And Swiss cheese is full of holes.
And what else has holes in it? Plots of bad TV shows that use hack writing to resolve an important bit of action.
And where do these shows belong? The dump! You found me But how? I just followed your logic, dude.
Even the Swiss cheese? I think I know what happened, Darwin.
We know each other so well, we don't even need to talk anymore.
Really? What am I thinking right now? You're thinking, "Please remove your knee from my crotch.
" It's true.
No, but really, please move it.