Black Mirror (2011) s07e01 Episode Script

1
[LOW, THRUMMING RUMBLING]
[HIGH-PITCHED TONE]
[ETHEREAL MUSIC PLAYS, FADES]
[SOOTHING MUSIC PLAYING]
[ALARM CLOCK BEEPING]
- [PHONE CHIMES]
- [MAN MOANS]
[WOMAN MOANS]
[INHALES DEEPLY]
[BOTH MOAN]
[WOMAN CHUCKLES]
[BOTH LAUGH]
[MUFFLED] Oh my God!
Wow, look at us.
We were so happy then.
- [MAN LAUGHS]
- [WOMAN] What happened to us?
- I blame you.
- [LAUGHS]
I think it's your fault.
[KISSING]
- Happy anniversary.
- Happy anniversary.
[MAN MOANS PLAYFULLY] Happy anniversary.
- Save it for tonight.
- What?!
- Yeah.
- I'll make some coffee.
Okay, that's great.
You can stay here and look
at more pictures of me.
[WOMAN] Does anyone know
how autonomous drone insects
help with flowers?
Anyone? Tisha.
- Polarization.
- [WOMAN] Ah!
Almost. Very close.
Pollination.
So the ADIs buzz from flower to flower
and spread pollen,
which is the same way
organic bees used to do.
And the technology
around this is amazing.
- [BELL RINGING]
- Oh, that's it.
Class is over.
Happy weekend, everybody.
- [STUDENT] Bye.
- Bye-bye. Bye-bye, see ya.
[STUDENTS CHATTERING]
Hey, Eva.
Everything okay? What's up?
It's Tisha again.
She laughed at my shoes.
We can't afford new ones.
These were my sister's.
- Tisha says they're old.
- Mm.
They're not old. They're vintage,
which means they tell their own story.
And that is cool.
Okay, I guess so.
All right. Have a great weekend.
- Bye.
- Bye. Who has the coolest shoes?
I guess me.
- Hey, cool shoes.
- Thanks.
Amanda, are you coming for a drink?
Oh.
- Yes, you are, is the answer, but
- Well, the problem is I can't.
Come on, I could use the moral support.
I would love to come. Really, I can't.
Why not?
That's why not. Our anniversary.
He's taking me away for the weekend.
- Guten Tag, ladies.
- They're back.
They were at the back
of your sock drawer.
I really tried my best to never
see them again, but here we are.
It's tradition, isn't it?
Got the suede shorts, but I didn't think
I should wear them around the school.
- Are you taking her somewhere nice?
- [MAN CHUCKLES]
God, no. No, same old shithole.
- [AMANDA] Where we got married.
- All right, have a good time, you guys.
- Thank you. Bye.
- Bye.
Be safe out there.
[LIVELY YODELING MUSIC PLAYING]
I'm so excited. Happy anniversary.
The minute your brain
tries to think about it,
it can't think about it.
[LIVELY YODELING MUSIC
CONTINUES ON RADIO]
- [MAN] Still the same sign as ever.
- [AMANDA CHUCKLES]
[MAN] You think Phyllis is still
working the desk? I hope so.
[AMANDA] I hope she's not, actually.
[MUSIC ENDS]
Anyone ♪
Anyone ♪
[AMANDA] Do you remember when
Janice got up and started singing?
[MAN] Your maid of honor?
Yes. Would she remember?
[AMANDA] Do you think she was drunk?
- Oh my God.
- And one Juniper Brat Burger.
- Jeez Louise.
- One more Juniper Brat Burger.
Thank you, Polly.
- [AMANDA] Wow.
- Yeah, sure. Knock yourselves out.
- [AMANDA] Thank you. Thank you?
- [MAN] Oh, it hasn't changed.
Oh, they have really outdone themselves.
- Ooh!
- Look at that.
- Ready?
- Yeah.
Three, two, one.
[BOTH GRUNTING]
- [AMANDA] Oh!
- Mmm.
[BOTH] Mmm!
Oh, that's dense.
I like when my food fights back.
[BOTH LAUGH]
[AMANDA] Wow. He's sweet.
[MAN] I hope they're an item.
He's more committed than ever before.
[MAN MOANS]
[AMANDA MOANS]
Oh, look.
The old piece of gum is still here.
- Oh!
- Hello, our little friend.
- Who stuck you up there?
- [AMANDA LAUGHS]
We all know how you feel.
[BOTH LAUGH]
What's with the sex yoga?
Apparently, this helps your
little swimmers find their target.
Are you sure you wanna try again?
- This isn't an official try.
- Mm-hmm.
But I'm okay with a happy accident.
Okay.
Although, arguably, I'm doing a
lot of encouraging right now, so
I'll encourage you.
- [KISSES, MOANS]
- Oh.
[AMANDA SIGHS]
- Oh. Oh, you okay?
- Another headache.
Another fucking headache.
Oh, you poor thing.
Lucky for you, it's post-coitus.
Coitus. Nice.
- Can you grab my, uh
- Yeah, I got you.
- Medic Oh, thank you.
- Here you go.
[INHALES SHARPLY]
Ooh. [EXHALES]
That's, uh Wow.
[MAN] Made you some coffee, babe.
[FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING]
Babes?
Babe?
Hey. You okay?
- I got my period.
- Oh.
[AMANDA SIGHS]
Hey, we'll get 'em next time, okay?
- We bought this too soon.
- No, don't do that.
Yeah. I mean, you know
I can't resist a bargain,
but maybe it was bad luck.
Come on, Amanda.
Maybe it still is.
Let's put it on eBay and
just get a couple bucks.
Shut up.
We're gonna need it soon.
After last time, we don't
even know if I can.
You can.
And you will.
[KISSES]
Or my dick will die trying.
Ah
- [MAN] I'm late. I love you.
- Love you.
[GENTLE MUSIC PLAYING]
[SIGHS]
[MACHINERY WHIRRING]
[FOREMAN] Mike!
Mike!
- [MIKE] What?
- Come here.
- What's up?
- We need Shane on the rig.
- Where is he?
- Taking too long on his break again.
- [SLURPING]
- [MAN IN VIDEO] All right, you weirdos.
[MIKE] Shane!
Don't be resting.
- [MAN IN VIDEO] Nothing.
- [SHANE] Wait one moment.
Come on. You're taking
the piss. Get out there.
I just threw some coin at
this loser on Dum Dummies.
- On what?
- Dum Dummies.
- You don't know about Dum Dummies?
- No, come on.
It's so fucking funny.
Desperate people go on here,
and then the audience pays
them to do some dark shit.
- When we reach 20 bucks
- I don't, I
This guy is gonna drink
his own piss. Look at him.
Oh, look, look. Target reached.
[SHANE LAUGHS]
- [MIKE] Fucking sick.
- He's drinking piss.
Jesus Christ.
- I'm supporting the gig economy.
- Don't do it on the work computer.
You're so good at your job, I
just wanna see you do it, you know?
[SLURPS] Oh, fuck you guys.
[MIKE] Fucking Americans.
Then the sun's rays travel
millions and millions of miles,
all from space,
and come down and hit the solar panels.
And then, once they
hit the solar panels,
they, uh, travel
far
[UNEASY MUSIC PLAYING]
travel long.
- [BODY THUDS]
- [STUDENTS GASP]
Mike! Mike!
Hey, Mike!
Mike!
- What?
- Hospital's trying to call you.
- What?
- [FOREMAN] Something about Amanda.
[TENSE MUSIC PLAYING]
- Did they say what it was?
- I don't know, but it sounded serious.
[DOCTOR] There is no simple solution
due to where it's located and
how long it's been growing.
It's essentially fused
to her parietal lobe.
- Mr. Waters?
- Yeah.
- [DOCTOR] As I was saying, there's no
- Is she gonna be okay?
I'm sorry. Her prognosis isn't good.
How
Sorry, what are you
saying to me right now?
She may never regain consciousness.
No.
No. I mean, come on, look at her.
She's breathing in there. There
must be something you can do.
Even just a few months
ago, I'd have said no,
but now there may be an option.
It's it's a new start-up.
They have an experimental procedure.
- It's very new, so not without risk.
- Okay.
Their rep was in here just last week.
I can't make a personal recommendation,
but you want me to call her?
Yeah, I want you to call her.
[MONITOR BEEPING]
Hi.
You must be Mike.
[SNIFFLES] Uh-huh.
I'm Gaynor from Rivermind.
Come with me.
Rivermind is a revolution
in neurological science.
How it works is both high-tech
and incredibly simple.
So we take an imprint of the
affected part of her neural structure,
and we clone it onto our mainframe.
So basically, we
just we make a backup
of part of her brain onto our computer.
And then we remove the tumor
and the surrounding tissue and
Wait, wait, wait. Isn't that dangerous?
Well, normally, yeah.
But we made a backup, remember?
And then we replace what we removed
with synthetic receiver tissue.
And then the Rivermind System
transmits cognitive function
from the backup on
the cloud-based server.
- Allowing her to live her life.
- Okay, has anyb
Does this work, honestly?
Has this been tested even?
Yes, it has.
I am living proof.
Wait. What are you talking about?
Do you want me to show you?
Okay, you see me right now, right?
- I do.
- Okay.
Eighteen months ago, this was me.
- Oh shit.
- I had a terrible accident.
I got a knock to the head
that technically killed me.
So I was I was lucky to be
one of the first Riverminders.
- Otherwise, I would not be here
- Are you
I'm sorry. I don't I I
don't know how else to say this.
- No, go ahead. Bring it on.
- Are you, um
Tell me. Normal?
- Yes.
- Yes.
Physically, mentally, I
I am fine.
And my kids say that I am still
the same pain in the ass that I was.
- [CHUCKLES]
- It's really sweet.
- Do you have children?
- Not yet.
Oh.
Been close a couple of times.
Mike.
This will give you time.
[WISTFUL MUSIC PLAYING]
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
It will.
[SNIFFLES] Yeah.
- So a couple things you need to know.
- Uh-huh.
She's gonna sleep more every night.
One or two more hours.
It's one of the ways that we
help the demand on our servers.
And then she has to physically
stay within the coverage range.
It's kind of like cell service.
We're new, but let me just show you.
So we already have most
of the state covered,
and in the next year or so,
we're gonna roll out
nationwide and worldwide.
How much is this gonna cost?
It's less than you think.
- Is it less than we have?
- [CHUCKLES]
Because it's pretty tight.
Honestly, it's less than you think.
We're really trying to drive uptake,
so our pricing is really reasonable.
- Uh-huh.
- And
the surgery is free.
Wow, okay.
- Yes.
- Okay.
And then for the streaming,
we run a subscription model.
- So it's 300.
- Mm.
It's 300 a month.
- Okay.
- Mm-hmm.
- [PENSIVE MUSIC PLAYING]
- [BREATHING NERVOUSLY]
[MUSIC FADES]
[SURGEON] Mr. Waters?
She did great. You can see her now.
[EMOTIONAL MUSIC PLAYING]
[MIKE] Hey.
- [AMANDA] Hi.
- Hey, babe.
- [AMANDA] Hi. [MOANS]
- [KISSING]
Is it really you?
[MIKE] Mm-hmm.
Aw, I'm so happy to see you.
- Ditto.
- Mm.
They said I was gone for a couple days.
- [MIKE] Yeah, you were.
- Mm-hmm.
I came back.
- So you did.
- Thanks to you.
The doctor said I
could go home next week.
Yeah. Yeah, we're gonna get you home.
Missed you.
That nurse said I was a miracle.
You are a fucking miracle.
I am a fucking miracle.
- Hmm.
- [LAUGHS]
[AMANDA] Holy shit! I mean,
I'm, like, really happy I'm
alive, but 300 bucks a month?
Mike, it's a lot of money every month.
Yeah, I know. I know.
But I'm taking extra shifts, and
there's stuff that we can cut back on.
Like maybe we don't
need that trip to Galway.
To see your dad? No.
It says Rivermind won't roll out
in Ireland for a couple of years,
and Dad's a bit of a cunt now anyway,
so that's a cutback I can live with.
- [CAR HORN HONKING]
- [TRUCK DRIVER] Come on!
[AMANDA] You know you're going,
like, five miles per hour, right?
You just had surgery on your
brain. I'm being cautious.
Yeah, well, there's cautious,
and then there's, like, this.
You're so pretty when you're alive.
[AMANDA CHUCKLES]
[AMANDA BREATHES DEEPLY]
[ALARM CLOCK BEEPING]
[MIKE MOANS]
[PENSIVE MUSIC PLAYING]
[AMANDA MOANS]
[GRUNTS]
Okay, guys, let's take a
look at our little friend,
our little amphibian.
Don't put your fingers in there
'cause he might think it's food.
[SIGHS]
[PENSIVE MUSIC CONTINUES]
[ALARM CLOCK BEEPING]
- [ALARM CLOCK BEEPING]
- [MIKE MOANS]
[SIGHS]
[CHILDREN CHATTERING]
[ALARM CLOCK BEEPING]
[SIGHS]
[PENSIVE MUSIC CONTINUES]
[DOOR OPENS]
[DOOR CLOSES]
- Hey.
- Hey.
Go easy on those. Can't
afford more until payday.
[PENSIVE MUSIC CONTINUES]
- [MIKE] Go grab me another one.
- Sure.
Guy's pulling out his own tooth.
[LAUGHING]
[MAN IN VIDEO GRUNTS]
[SHANE] Oh yeah!
Look, he swallowed it!
[LAUGHS]
Shit.
- [PENSIVE MUSIC RESUMES]
- [ALARM CLOCK BEEPS]
[MOANS]
[SNIFFLES]
Babe.
[MUSIC FADES]
Sorry I'm late.
Shane knocked over a scaffold.
- Amanda?
- [AMANDA SNORING]
[PENSIVE MUSIC RESUMES]
[AMANDA SNORING]
[ALARM CLOCK BEEPS]
Shit.
It's June 5th this Saturday.
Okay, and?
And?
Ju June 5th.
- Our anniversary?
- [GASPS]
- Oh shit.
- God.
Oh, I'm sorry.
I didn't plan anything.
I did though.
We're going to the Juniper.
Okay. [LAUGHS]
A fun little splurge.
[MIKE SNIFFLES]
[MIKE BREATHES DEEPLY]
- You okay, hon?
- Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
- I can drive.
- I'm fine, Amanda.
Just a really long day today.
Yeah. You're doing too many shifts.
Mm, yeah, well, we need the money.
It's not like you can get a second job.
- Oh.
- You need to sleep.
Yeah, that's not really my fault.
I know. I know.
I'm not That wasn't
That's not what I was saying.
You know, we could just
not go to the Juniper
and save some money, you know?
We promised we'd always go
on our anniversary, babe.
I know, I just I'm saying
we could celebrate at home.
I need a break, Amanda. I
work my fucking arse off.
- We both do. It's not just you.
- I'm not saying you don't. I'm not s
[EXHALES SHARPLY]
- I didn't
- But I sleep all the time.
- And I'm just a teacher.
- Oh, "just a teacher."
- Not manual labor.
- I see where we're going.
- But that
- You work hard, Amanda.
- I'm not fucking disputing that.
- I'm not making money
We both work hard!
Nobody is disputing that!
I'm just saying, don't you wanna
have fun in our free time, you know?
[UNEASY MUSIC PLAYING]
Babe? Shit.
[TIRES SQUEAL]
Babe, babe, babe?
Sweetheart, can you hear me?
Okay, babe? Babe. We're gonna
get you to the hospital, okay?
- All right, wait, wait.
- [HORN HONKING]
- Oh shit.
- [TENSE MUSIC PLAYING]
[MIKE] Fuck, fuck!
Oh shit.
- What happened? What happened?
- [GASPS]
- Why are you driving so fast? Don't
- I'm not.
Slow down.
- What's wrong?
- Oh my God.
[GAYNOR] Oh God.
I understand.
Wow, that must have been
so frightening, you guys.
- [MIKE] Yeah.
- [GAYNOR TUTS] Oh.
The good news is there's
no malfunction, Amanda.
- There Wh
- What?
Did you not just She blacked out.
- Yeah, it was
- I thought she was dead.
It's because you passed
outside the coverage area.
- But you said that you checked the map.
- I did check the m
- I looked. It said it was within range.
- You were gonna
Ah, ah, ah. What happened was we
are upgrading some of our towers,
and the ones in Palmer County
are on the new bandwidth,
which is part of an exciting
change to Rivermind's service.
What do you mean, change?
From Monday,
we are introducing Rivermind Plus.
- Plus?
- A new subscription tier
that has extended coverage, okay?
So it makes great use
of those upgraded towers.
- I'm gonna show you. Stand by.
- That could be good.
- Yeah. We have this
- Here we go. All right, look at this.
This is it. As you can see,
we will be extending our
coverage all over North America.
- So we can travel.
- Yeah.
Yes, if you upgrade, then
absolutely you can travel.
And if we don't?
Then you just stay within
your existing coverage range.
So you're saying
that we have to upgrade to Plus
if we wanna leave the county?
Right, yeah.
When we signed up, you said it
was just gonna roll out everywhere.
Yes, it is, with Rivermind Plus.
That's what this is.
This is the rollout.
How much is the how much is the Plus?
So it is $500 a month
on top of the existing package.
So $800 in total.
- 800 bucks a month?
- Yeah.
We can't afford that.
That's not We can't
You don't have to worry about that.
I mean, if you choose not to upgrade,
you'll just stay on Rivermind Common.
- "Common"?
- And you will continue
to enjoy experiencing the services
that you already have at
the current price point.
You okay? It's nearly eight
o'clock. Won't you be late?
[SIGHS] Yeah. I swear I'm sleeping more,
which was a life goal, but
this isn't like normal sleep.
There's like a [TUTS]
electronic whistling in my head.
- [MIKE] You want a coffee?
- Yes, please. God, yes, thank you.
Have you tried Espresso Grande?
The beans are roasted slow and
long for a richer, smoother taste.
Can't say that I have.
- Can't say that you have what?
- Tried Espresso Grande.
Is that what this is?
What? No. That's just our usual shit.
[AMANDA] Mm.
- So why did you bring up Espresso Grande?
- I didn't.
[PHONE RINGING]
- Wait, what?
- Sh Fucking Shane.
Fucking Shane today.
[MIKE GROANS]
See you later.
[KISSES]
[DOOR OPENS]
[DOOR CLOSES]
So, at the hive,
the bees pass the nectar between
themselves until it's gooey,
and then they push it into the
wax chamber until it becomes
Anyone? Bobby.
It becomes honey.
That's right. Honey.
Kids love honey.
That's why parents love Honey Nugs.
Whole grain chunks covered
in golden Tupelo honey,
the sweetest way to start your day.
Honey Nugs from Ditta.
And can anyone tell me
something with honey in it?
Mickey.
- Honey Nugs.
- Honey what?
Honey Nugs.
What are what are those?
The sweetest way to start your day.
Okay, if you say so.
- Anyone else?
- [BELL RINGING]
Bye-bye. Bye.
Bye, sweetie. See you tomorrow.
Hey, Oscar, what's up?
You're kind of quiet today.
You okay?
Well, Mom says we have to
move out to get away from Dad.
Oh, well,
you know, your mom must
have a very good reason
to even think about
saying something like that.
Yeah, Dad gets mad all the time.
That must be really scary.
Yeah, but he says it's Mom's fault.
I don't wanna go.
Oh, I hear you, Oscar.
Listen,
sometimes we have to do
things that we don't wanna do,
but they turn out for the best.
Uh-huh.
And the truth is,
families that stay together bask
in the glow of Christ's heart.
For more information on
faith-based family counseling,
visit Christsheart.com.
Okay.
Okay.
Have a good day.
Long day?
Yeah.
Too long for a happy accident?
- Fuck no.
- [AMANDA CHUCKLES]
[MIKE MOANS]
Oh.
- Yeah. Mm-hmm.
- Mm.
[BOTH MOAN]
Ride smooth with Thirst Trap Lube.
[MIKE] Mm
Available in six flavors,
none of them vanilla.
[BOTH MOAN]
What did you say?
What?
- What did you just say?
- I didn't say anything.
No, I mean when you were
just talking about lube.
Oh, I don't need lube.
[AMANDA MOANS]
Wait, wait, wait, wait.
Why did you just say, "Ride
smooth with Thirst Trap Lube"?
[AMANDA LAUGHS]
What? I didn't I didn't say that.
Yeah, you did. Yeah, you did, just now.
I know the kind of sex stuff that
I say. I would never say that.
[CHUCKLES]
[BOTH MOAN]
No, no. Sorry.
Fuck of a buzzkill, that.
[MIKE GROANS]
Hoping for a hard time?
Try Manville Erectile Dysfunction Gel.
Side effects may include high blood
pressure and suicidal ideation.
[SIGHS]
What?
Oh, yeah, that's a commercial message.
Jesus Christ.
As in an advertisement?
It's something that we are trialing
as a part of the
evolution of our service.
You must be in one of our test
cells. Let me just check and see.
So you're running ads through me?
You're, like, giving me, like,
commercial fucking Tourette's?
Okay, not all the customers
appreciate the messages.
Ads! Those are ads!
- Yes.
- Not messages, ads!
But they are designed
to be contextually relevant to
the situation that you're in.
So they will stand out
less in a conversation.
- They'll be less intrusive.
- That makes them worse.
What's your next trick? You gonna
make my asshole whistle jingles?
- That's not part of our development.
- Can we opt out?
Of course you can. Yeah,
all you need to do
Is upgrade to Rivermind Plus.
[GAYNOR] That is right, Amanda.
- Upgrade.
- [AMANDA] We can't afford that.
- You people are sick.
- [PENSIVE MUSIC PLAYING]
[BELL RINGING]
Hot, new Fall Nikes.
Just $200. Now at Foot Locker.
Amanda?
A quick word?
[AMANDA] Sorry. Um, wait,
she said I said what?
[WOMAN] What I just told you.
She says that you recommended
Christian family counseling to her son.
And, uh, listen, she's pissed, right?
God.
Like, I mean,
I said it doesn't sound like
something that you'd say.
I didn't think that was happening
during school hours. Shit.
You didn't think what would happen?
Feeling over the hill?
Don't panic. There's hope for you.
Find your mature match at Silver Swans.
Exclusive dating for the over 50.
I'm 49.
- What?
- And what the fuck are you talking about?
So she said if I can't stop doing it
that they're gonna have to let me go.
Uh, what? I mean, she can't fire you.
What choice do they have?
I can't be around kids.
Amanda
you know, if you lose your job,
we're gonna struggle to even
cover our Common subscription.
I know.
We'll work it out.
We'll do something.
[ETHEREAL MUSIC PLAYING]
I'll do something.
[PENSIVE MUSIC PLAYING]
[MIKE GRUNTS]
[EXHALES DEEPLY]
[TYPING]
[MIKE BELCHES]
[AMANDA] Say goodbye to stomach gas
with Debloat's Gummies,
our unique blend of simethicone and THC.
Hi, it's Gaynor from Rivermind.
- How are you this morning?
- Hello? Yes, yes.
Yes, thank God.
- You got my payment?
- Yeah.
Can you flick a switch or whatever?
We are processing your
Rivermind Plus upgrade now.
- How long does it take to kick in?
- Should be pretty much instant.
Okay, great.
Ketchup, mustard, and
While I have you, would you like
to hear about exciting plans
Fuck no. Hey, babe.
- Hey.
- Hey.
Okay, so you're, uh,
officially on Rivermind Plus.
- What?
- Yeah.
I had a bit more left over
from my overtime and stuff,
so I just made an upgrade.
[BOTH CHUCKLE]
- Yeah, okay.
- No more ads?
No more ads. No more ads.
And, hey, now, with the
location restrictions off,
next anniversary,
we can go back to the Juniper.
[AMANDA] Aw.
- I wish we could afford it.
- I'll make sure we can afford it.
- Okay, thank you.
- Yeah.
[KISSES]
- Love you.
- I love you.
[UNEASY MUSIC PLAYING]
[STUDENTS CHATTERING]
Hey, Oscar. Listen, I just
Mom said not to speak to you anymore.
Okay, I'm sorry. Um,
can you tell your mom
I'm not supposed to
listen to you either.
- Hey, Oscar. Why don't you come with me?
- Yeah.
Okay, guys.
Uh, we've just got 20 more
bucks to reach our target.
[DISTORTED VOICE] And I will
put my nose in this mousetrap.
[NORMAL VOICE] I'm not
gonna put it on my dick.
- [COMPUTER DINGS]
- Not doing that either.
- [COMPUTER DINGS]
- Mask stays on.
[PHONE BUZZES]
Fuck.
Okay.
How about, uh how about this, guys?
How about for $90,
I'll put the fucking
mousetrap on my tongue.
Mm
- [REGISTER DING]
- [MIKE GROANS]
[BREATHING HEAVILY]
[GROANING]
- [MOUSETRAP CLICKS]
- [GRUNTING IN PAIN]
[MUSIC FADES]
[MIKE] Mm-mm.
[AMANDA MOANS]
[MIKE] It's 10:00 a.m.
[AMANDA SIGHS]
How long have I been asleep?
Like like, 12 hours.
- What?
- Mm-hmm.
Jesus.
- Thank God it's the holidays.
- [SNIFFS] Mm.
Thank God.
- What's wrong with you?
- Hmm?
Bit my tongue.
[CHUCKLES]
Why am I sleeping longer?
[GAYNOR] As a part of
our last firmware update,
we did extend the
sleep time a little bit.
To 12 hours a night?
Well, everyone can use a
little extra rest, right?
It's not, um, restful though.
Like, I'm not dreaming.
I wake up tired.
It doesn't feel like actual sleep.
Oh, well, that's 'cause it's sleep mode.
- "Sleep mode"?
- Yeah.
While you're in sleep mode,
our servers are harnessing your
spare processing capabilities
to help with the overall workload.
So you're using my brain
to to power the server?
Shouldn't it be the other way around?
It is, except when you're in sleep mode.
You can kind of think of it like
giving back to the grid.
Why do I have to give back to the grid?
Why? I mean, we pay for fucking Plus.
It's supposed to be better than Common.
It's better than Common.
[LAUGHS] Seriously, if
you were still on Common,
my God, you would be
looking at sleeping at, like,
up to 16 hours a night,
and with ads? I mean, Amanda,
I'd be happy to drop
you back down a tier.
No.
Or you could move up to
our exciting new tier.
It's actually the reason
that we have extended sleep
mode for our non-premium users.
We're premium users.
Well, Plus is actually now Standard.
But it is better than Common.
And this new tier, it is ultra-premium.
We call it
Rivermind Lux.
If you could just turn your
attention to the monitor.
Take a look here. Right?
[UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING]
Ever since my fatal
liposuction procedure,
Rivermind has been a lifesaver.
And now there's something
even better. Rivermind Lux.
Rivermind Lux doesn't just
keep your brain running.
It heightens your senses.
Meaning sights, sounds, flavors,
even the feeling of this breeze.
Mmm!
In fact, all physical
sensations are simply more
[INHALES DEEPLY]
[EXHALES] Mmm.
sensational than ever.
- [CHILDREN SCREAMING PLAYFULLY]
- And you're in charge.
Dial it up or dial it down.
Take control of your mood
with the Rivermind app.
And with the exclusive
Rivermind Lux Ability Browser,
you can use skills and attributes
sourced from other Rivermind users.
So if you thought you couldn't
do parkour think again.
Whoo!
Rivermind Lux.
It's life, but not as you know it.
[MUSIC FADES]
So, uh, if I could
have you back over here.
[LAUGHS]
That was pretty cool, right?
- Great.
- [GAYNOR] Mm-hmm.
How much does it cost?
It's just an additional $1,000 a month.
[LOUD THUD]
[GAYNOR] Oh, sweetheart,
you'll wanna watch your head.
We can't We can barely
afford what we're paying now.
I know. We understand that
Lux is a real VIP package.
So if you don't choose to
subscribe to the full-time package,
we actually have temporary boosters
for, like, a few hours.
Or a few days.
No? So maybe if you have
a special occasion, Amanda?
- We're not interested.
- Okay.
- Thank you.
- I understand.
[WHISPERS] How much
are those booster packs?
[PENSIVE MUSIC PLAYING]
[BREATHES DEEPLY]
What have you got, Dum Dummies?
No, I'm not putting one of
my bunny ears up my a-hole.
[SIGHS]
Okay.
Let's make this fucking quick.
[LIVELY YODELING MUSIC PLAYING ON RADIO]
All good?
- You feeling okay?
- Uh-huh.
Yep. Free to roam.
Okay!
It's better than that.
- What do you mean?
- Check the glove box.
That's 12 hours of Rivermind Lux.
You're gonna have a very good time.
Mike, come on. We can't afford this.
I know, I know, I know.
It's one weekend.
I want you to enjoy it.
In fact, I order you to.
Thank you.
[MUSIC FADES]
[MIKE] Yeah, that's
it. You just scratch it.
And then you look at the
code, and that activates it.
Okay, well, I put the app on your phone.
And then you just dial up your pleasure.
- Like this?
- Mm-hmm.
That's it.
[DREAMY ETHEREAL MUSIC PLAYING]
Oh wow.
Feel it?
[CHUCKLES]
[SIGHS]
[EXHALES]
Hi!
I like your truck. [LAUGHS]
[MIKE CHUCKLES]
[AMANDA MOANS]
[MIKE KISSES]
[AMANDA] Hm.
Your hand feels so nice.
- Yeah, yours feel nice.
- Like extra, extra nice.
Two Juniper Brat Burgers.
Thank you.
Cheers.
- Three, two, one.
- [SIGHS HAPPILY]
You're in.
[AMANDA] Mmm.
- Oh!
- Oh my God.
[BOTH LAUGH]
It's exactly as I
remember it. That is
Oh, that's pungent.
That is just
[MUFFLED] That's fucking amazing.
Lovin' you ♪
Oh, look, they're back. Oh Christ.
You're beautiful ♪
Babe.
- Amanda.
- Is all I wanna do ♪
Loving you ♪
Is more than just a dream come true ♪
- [CHANGING TO MINNIE RIPPERTON SINGING]
- And everything that I do ♪
Is out of lovin' you ♪
La la la la la ♪
La la la la la la la la la la la ♪
Do do do do do ♪
[SINGS HIGH-PITCHED NOTE]
[AMANDA MOANING]
[BOTH CHUCKLE]
[AMANDA MOANING]
Hey, you don't need to
do all that for me, baby.
It feels so good.
[MOANING LOUDLY]
It's just it sounds like
you're exaggerating a little bit.
I'm not. Oh, your skin
feels so fucking good.
- Yeah.
- [MOANS]
[MOANING LOUDLY]
All right, maybe we can just
dial it down a little bit.
Just literally on the app.
- [AMANDA] No, no, no, not right now.
- No. Okay. All right.
[LOUD MOANING CONTINUES]
Oh, Jesus Christ. Do you mind
if I just take a little breather?
Okay, okay.
[LOUD MOANING CONTINUES]
[MIKE] Okay, you
[LOUD MOANING CONTINUES]
[ETHEREAL MUSIC PLAYING]
[LOUD MOANING CONTINUES]
[MUSIC FADES]
[MIKE COUGHS, SNIFFLES]
Oh Jesus.
Babe?
Babe, it's 11:00 a.m.
We gotta check out.
I guess Lux is over, then?
[MIKE] Mm-hmm.
[AMANDA MOANS]
[UNEASY MUSIC PLAYING]
[SHANE] Jack, Jack.
[INDISTINCT CHATTERING]
- [MAN] Oh man.
- [SHANE] Oh shit.
[LAUGHTER]
Jesus.
[LAUGHTER]
Morning.
[UNEASY MUSIC CONTINUES]
[RETCHES]
Hey!
Mikey! If you're gonna live by the
sword, you're gonna die by it, man.
- Okay. Whoa, watch out now, big guy.
- Fucking arsehole.
- Hey, just chill, man.
- [WORKERS EXCLAIM]
Fuck. What the fuck?
[GRUNTING]
What, it's not so funny now, huh?
[GASPING]
Is that not funny now?
Come on, funny man.
- Give us a fuckin' giggle!
- Let him go.
- Prick.
- You're a fuckin' psycho!
Don't fuckin' speak!
Piss-drinking motherfucker!
- Come on!
- Hey!
[SHANE SCREAMING IN PAIN]
[MAN 2] We're coming, man!
[MAN 3] What the fuck
are you doing? Back up!
[WORKERS CHATTERING]
[SCREAMING IN PAIN]
- You're home early.
- Mm-hmm.
What's wrong?
Mike?
[SCOFFS]
Come on, you're scaring me.
I just got fired.
What?
But you've worked there for ten years.
Oh, I fucked up so bad, babe.
How? What did you
They can't just fire you.
[GROANS] I don't wanna talk about it.
You get fired and don't
wanna talk about it?
Yeah, I don't wanna talk about it.
Wait. So how do we, uh
I don't
What do we How do we, um
How will we pay for Rivermind Plus?
[UNEASY MUSIC PLAYING]
- I don't know.
- I I can't start running ads again.
They won't let me back in school.
Well, we'll Do you know what?
We'll go to Rivermind
and plead our case.
They won't listen.
Because we're we're loyal customers.
Yeah.
She knows us. She yeah.
- I mean, it's been a long time.
- Yeah?
We pay on time.
They have to listen, right?
Yeah.
[GAYNOR] I am afraid not.
You know, given a little time, I'm
sure I will just get another job.
At Uber, Postmates, or whatever.
Great. Yes, that's great.
And when you do,
we will reinstate
your full subscription.
I I'll lose my job
if, uh, if I can't get back on Plus.
- Sorry, Plus is actually now Standard.
- Please!
- Mm Okay. Mm-hmm.
- We are good customers
We're just asking for a little
credit so we can get back on our feet.
I understand your circumstances, I do,
but the system won't
even let me input it.
- [MIKE] Come on.
- Not even if I try. My hands are tied.
Don't make us use the baby money.
There's there's still baby money?
- I mean, not fucking much, but yeah.
- You didn't tell me.
- Let's not use it.
- I didn't know.
Because if we use it, then
that's it. What's the point?
- Yeah, but
- That's just giving in.
- [GAYNOR] Are you trying to get pregnant?
- Surely Yes!
You are?
I mean we haven't been
trying very hard lately, but
We were hoping for a happy accident.
Okay. But you're not pregnant now.
Why are you asking?
Pregnancy costs extra.
When you're pregnant,
it just alters the brain.
There are cortical shifts and
changes to the ventral striatum.
It's a lot for your brain to
process when you're pregnant.
Like, literally.
So it's $90 a month.
- [GASPS] Oh!
- [MIKE] Fuck you!
[EXASPERATED SIGH]
[SIGHS]
- [GENTLE MUSIC PLAYING]
- [LIQUID POURING]
[SNIFFLES]
[DOORBELL RINGS]
Hey. Uh, we're here for the crib.
[CHUCKLES]
I'll get it.
Good luck with the baby.
We're not having a baby.
[MIKE] Then why'd you want the crib?
We're setting it on
fire for our music video.
[CAR DOORS CLOSE]
[ENGINE STARTS]
[CHUCKLES]
[LAUGHS]
Hey
Hey, babe.
[AMANDA MOANS]
- Hey.
- How are you doing, sleepy head?
Happy anniversary.
You remembered.
Happy anniversary, babe.
Come with me, please.
[ETHEREAL MUSIC PLAYING]
[MIKE HUMMING]
I could only afford 30 minutes.
Oh, Mike.
- How did you even pay for this?
- Don't worry about it.
You told me you weren't gonna
do any more tooth stuff.
No, no. It's just
It's a private buyer. It's Dum
Dummies, but it's a specialist thing.
Don't even think about it. Come on.
I'm just gonna slide
your Serenity up to max.
[SERENE MUSIC PLAYING]
[MOANS HAPPILY]
[GENTLE PIANO MUSIC PLAYING]
I think it's time.
- No, I
- Yeah.
- I think we're okay for a little while.
- It's time.
Only if you're sure.
I'm sure.
Okay.
Okay.
[BREATHES DEEPLY]
Do it when I'm not here.
[MIKE SOBS]
[MUSIC FADES]
[MIKE] There we go.
Are you comfy, babe?
I love you.
I love you too.
[MIKE MOANS]
- Are you filled with dread?
- Babe!
Wracked with despair?
Babe? Not yet.
Let the sun shine in with
Endorphox antidepressant lozenges.
[MUFFLED CHATTER]
- [AMANDA] Sustained release.
- It's okay.
[AMANDA] Endorphox is
[MUFFLED CHATTER]
God.
I love you.
[MIKE SOBS]
[MUFFLED CHATTER]
[AMANDA CHOKING]
[CHOKING CONTINUES]
[MIKE GROANS, SOBS]
[AMANDA CHOKING]
[MIKE SOBS]
[GROANS]
[SOLEMN MUSIC PLAYING]
[MIKE WHIMPERS]
[MIKE SOBS]
[MIKE RETCHES]
[COUGHING]
[SOLEMN MUSIC CONTINUES]
[SOLEMN MUSIC CONTINUES]
[MUSIC FADES]