Rumpole of the Bailey (1978) s07e01 Episode Script
Rumpole and the Children of the Devil
Aaargh! Eeeargh! Aargh! (Screams) Tracy Timson! Whatever possessed you? Stupid cow.
- Oh, no.
- What's that, Rumpole? A mere invitation, Hilda.
The Scales of Justice Ball at the Savoy Hotel.
Disgusting sight - Her Majesty's judges creaking around in a foxtrot.
- You wouldn't enjoy that, would you? - I suppose not, in the circumstances.
- What circumstances? - It's too humiliating.
I quite agree.
Not a pretty sight - pirouetting Ballards and Erskine-Browns! - Claude and Philly dance well together.
- They don't do much else together.
Why is it that you never lead me out onto the dance floor nowadays? - Ah, well now - I sometimes dream about it.
We're at the Scales of Justice Ball at the Savoy Hotel.
On my birthday.
And you lead me out onto the floor as the first lady in chambers.
Hilda, I have many talents, but I am not Nijinsky and we don't get much time to practise dancing down the Old Bailey.
- Oh, Hilda, you're not - No, no.
No, of course not.
You must get to work.
Go on.
Work is the only thing that matters to you.
You'd rather defend a murderer than dance with your wife.
(TV) "Oh, my God! "The Goat of Mendes - the Devil himself!" (Doorbell) - Oh, Mum! - Shut up! - Mrs Molloy.
- Yeah, what is it? - You're Dominic's mum? - What if I am? I'm Mirabelle Jones from Social Services.
Do call me Mirabelle.
I think Dominic is a little friend of my client, Tracy Timson, isn't he? We're not friends to the Timsons, exactly.
Well, shall we say a little classmate? We're making inquiries about Tracy.
- Is she in trouble? - Let's say she has a few problems.
Problems? I should think so, her being a Timson! What kind of problems, exactly? Remember the children wearing those horrid masks, Dominic? - They scared me.
- I'm sure they did.
- Did you see who was leading them? - In the end.
- Who was it, Dominic? - Trace.
- Tracy Timson? - Yeah.
Your mum said you went round to Tracy's a few times.
After school? - Yeah, after school.
- Then you went somewhere else.
- Where else? - Where they put people.
The churchyard? Was it a churchyard? St Elphick's.
It WAS a churchyard.
Was it dark? After school.
Perhaps late.
A month ago So it was dark.
Did a grown-up come with you? A man, perhaps? Did a man come? - He said we was to play a game.
- What sort of game? - He put something on his face.
- A mask? - Black, and horns on it.
- A devil's mask? Is that right? - He wanted you to play at devils? - He said he was the Devil.
He was to be the Devil.
And what were you supposed to be? Perhaps you were the Devil's children? Was that the game you had to play? - Dance around.
- Dance around? Now I want you to tell me, Dominic, when did you meet this man? At Tracy Timson's house? Is that where you met him? Do you know who he was, Dominic? Who was he, Dominic? You've been such a help to me so far.
Can you tell me who he was? Tracy's dad.
(Doorbell rings) (Persistent ringing) (Pounding) How do I know who it is?! All right! Don't hammer the bleedin' door down! - What have you done? - Oh, shut up, Roz! Oh, not again.
This is out of order.
- Mr Cary Timson? - If it's about that shop - I know bugger all.
- It's about your Tracy.
Tracy? She's asleep upstairs in bed.
Isn't she asleep upstairs? - Are you Mum? - Of course! What do you want? We want to look after your Tracy, Mum.
She needs rather special care.
I'm sure you're both going to help us.
We rely on Mum and Dad to be very sensible.
- You've come to take her away! - No, no, no - You're not bloody taking her away! - We just want the very best for her.
We do have a court order.
Now shall we go and wake Tracy up? Ever so gently.
I don't think we'll be needing toys where we're going.
- Mum will look after her.
- I want my mummy! Mum! Mummy! You always done your best for the Timson family.
Of course.
Timsons have been a source of gainful employment for many years.
You are the prop and stay of my old age.
You're not in trouble yourself? No, nothing.
They questioned me about that shop down Gunter Avenue, but they've got no evidence.
- It's young Tracy Timson, Mr Rumpole.
- Bloody marvellous.
- Eight years old and needs a brief.
- Eight?! She's starting young.
Here you are.
That's her in Marbella.
Does she have the look of a villain? Well, I'd say not a hardened criminal.
Childhood - a difficult period from what I can remember.
They wouldn't let her take a doll.
Not even her new Barbie.
- What? - Barbie doll.
- She's got a collection of them.
- What's her crime, Mr Rumpole? - What's on her charge sheet? - Er, nothing yet.
Ah, well, childhood is a crime in itself to some people.
- We can't get sense out of Miss Jones.
- Jones? Officer in charge of case.
Social worker.
Ah, one of the caring community.
What does Jones say Tracy's done? She's making further inquiries.
I never discovered what I'd done when they banged me up at eight.
- Really, Mr Rumpole? - Nobody ever explained my offence.
So there I was, condemned to cold baths and cross-country running and a headmaster directly descended from Captain Bligh.
And all for the serious crime of being eight.
- Our Tracy's eight.
- That's what they've got against her.
Only just eight.
All right, Tracy.
We're going to play with dolls.
- You like dolls.
- I haven't got no dolls here.
These aren't Barbies, but they're very interesting.
You and I will play with them.
That'll be fun, won't it? So, look at this one.
- This is Mum.
- That's not my mum.
Oh, I know it's not your mum, Tracy.
I know that, love.
It's just mums in general.
Everyone's mum.
See? Look at her little apron.
- Is she going to do the washing up? - No.
- Why not, Tracy? - Mum's got a dishwasher.
Well, your mum's very lucky, isn't she? And here's Dad.
He's got a moustache, hasn't he? And here's Grandma.
Do you call her Grandma, Tracy? Or do you call her Nan? - I call her Grandma.
- She's got grey hair, hasn't she? - Look at her spectacles.
- Not my grandma.
Oh.
Well, here's Grandpa.
There.
Can you see him? Now I want you to take any two of these dolls, any two of them.
Any two of these dolls.
Mum.
Yes, she's lying down.
I expect she's tired.
Grandpa.
What's Grandpa doing? - He's kissing my mum.
- Is he? - Well, yes, I suppose he is.
- (Telephone) Yes.
Mirabelle? I think you should show her the picture now.
Now I want you to think about something else, Tracy.
Is there anything worrying you, Tracy? You know who that is, don't you? No.
It's the Devil, isn't it? You know about devils.
You put on a devil's mask at school, didn't you? I might have done.
So what do you think of the Devil, then? - He's funny.
- Funny? He's got a tail.
The tail's funny.
When did you first hear about the Devil, Tracy? - I don't know.
- Oh, you must know.
Did you hear about the Devil at home? Did your dad tell you about the Devil? Does that picture of the Devil remind you of anyone, Tracy? Does it look like your dad at all? - Morning, all! - Ah, this is Miss Clapton.
- Hi! - Hello.
- Diane took leave of her senses.
- Why? What's happened to Diane? - Married, Mr Rumpole.
- Oh.
To a junior clerk.
She'll live to regret it.
Welcome to Equity Court, Miss Clapton.
If you're very good, you may get parole in about 10 years.
Soft, the fair Miss Probert.
What's that you're fondling? - What does it look like? - A brief! Got it in one.
Time marches on.
My ex-pupil has begun to acquire briefs.
What is it? Non-renewed dog licence? A bit more serious than that! I'm for the Crockthorpe Local Authority.
Are you, indeed? I'm suitably overawed.
A little girl we took into care.
In terrible danger in the home.
Father had a criminal record.
In fact, it may be a name you're familiar with.
- Timson.
- Oh, they've taken away a Timson girl? - Because of his criminal record? - No.
Something rather awful going on.
- Devil worship.
- Devil worship?! The family were deeply into it.
Shocking.
Really? Do you believe in the Devil? Of course I don't, Rumpole! Don't be ridiculous.
That's hardly the point.
Oh, isn't it? It interests me.
I'm likely to be against you in the Court of Family Proceedings.
I'm Attorney General for the Timsons.
You, Rumpole? On the side of the Devil? Why not? They tell me he has all the best lines.
- Horace.
You know Charlie Wisbeach? - Never heard of him.
Ah.
- Wisbeach, Perkins and Harries.
- Good God! Are they all here? That's my dad's firm.
You're Rumpole.
My father wondered if you still practise.
No, I think I can do it now.
It would be a great experience to join you.
- To join me to what, exactly? - Charlie's done commercial pupilage.
He wants to sharpen up his advocacy.
Where? There may be an inch or two in the downstairs loo.
I thought we agreed there was no more room at the inn? - There is your room, Rumpole.
- Yes, and me in it.
We thought you just might share.
Charlie has an impressive CV.
- See what? - Curriculum Vitae.
Eton.
Eatin'? Good at that, too? I thought it was mainly drinkin'.
- The old school.
Slough Grammar.
- Ah.
Of course.
We thought you'd be out and about in court and I'd be putting my brief onto the floppy disk.
Dragging your room into the 20th century! It could do with a spot of decorating.
Lovely old spot.
Claude showed me.
- When? - When you were at Snaresbrook.
Like you, sir, your room is part of history.
Fine views over the churchyard.
Don't you look down at Dr Johnson's tomb? Oliver Goldsmith's, as a matter of fact.
- No, it's Johnson's.
- Goldsmith.
- Want a bet? - Not particularly.
It wouldn't last forever.
- You must be thinking about retirement.
- Must I? In the meantime, think of the work.
I still have work to do and I do it best alone as a free spirit.
Wrongs are still to be righted.
Mr Justice Graves still puts the boot in, Inspector Brush refers to unreliable notes and an eight-year-old Timson girl has been banged up.
Not in Eton College like you, Master Charlie, but into the tender mercy of the Crockthorpe Local Authority.
The child is suspected of devil worship.
Can you believe it? An offence I thought went out with the Inquisition! - Is that your case, Rumpole? - Oh, yes, and I have a worthy opponent.
None other than Ms Liz Probert, with the full might of the local authority.
So, while there are still such challenges to be contested, let me tell you, Claude, and you too, Charlie whatsit, Rumpole shall never sheath the sword.
Never! Oh, I'm sorry.
Funny old buffer! And in this file we keep - Henry, where's Mr Ballard? - I'm showing Miss Clapton the ropes.
- What ropes? - The ropes of chambers.
You weren't here earlier or you'd know Miss Clapton is joining us, Diane having gone to get married.
Well, you can't tell some people.
Miss Clapton! Welcome, Miss Clapton.
I hope you'll be very happy here.
Any problems, you know who to come to.
She'll come to me.
Head of Department.
Of course.
But any special problems.
What shall I call you? Call me early! - As it so happens, my name's Dot.
- Dot! What a beautiful name.
Dot.
Now over here we have the appointments diary Did Mr Rumpole have a conference with the parents of this child? - Yes, sir.
Why? - In his rooms? In this very chambers? In Mr Rumpole's room, yes.
Where else? Of course he did.
Where else? And where did you say Mr Ballard was? I didn't, sir.
But he's at his Lawyers As Christians group.
- In the Temple Church.
- In church? How very appropriate.
And the Lord said unto Satan, "Whence comest thou?" And Satan answered, "From walking up and down in the world.
" Sounds commonplace, doesn't it? Like an ordinary person.
But then we think of evil as a person, as a he.
Or a she.
Not an it.
"From walking up and down.
" Satan can be just another face in the crowd.
We must always be on our guard against him for the fallen angel is the great enemy.
We will now sing Hymn 181.
- I say, Ballard - Have you joined us? Yes.
Subscription's in the post.
You need all our support.
I have to tell you about Rumpole.
Please, this is no place to be discussing such matters as Rumpole.
# mysterious way His wonders to perform # Devil worshippers! # footsteps on the sea # Rumpole's in with devil worshippers.
# from the storm.
# What did you say? Rumpole in his disgraceful way Has taken on the case About some devil worshippers He's had them in your place.
In your chambers, I mean.
(Phone tinkles) Hello? Hello, it's Horace.
Horace Rumpole.
- You told me to ring early.
- (Female) I was thinking about you.
Could you manage lunchtime? I think I can get away.
The usual place? - Yes, of course.
- Ah, splendid.
Bye! The Devil?! Tracy don't know about the Devil! It's not as if we went to church.
Are you sure you've never meddled in this? Satan? The spirit of evil? - The Timsons know nothing of this? - Of course not.
Nothin' at all.
What did you think the Bill were after? I thought they'd come about that shop.
They've had me in time and time again.
- And that wasn't you? - No.
Would I lie to you? It has been known, but I'll believe you.
Do you know who did it? Yeah.
Mr Rumpole, I won't grass.
I won't do it.
I was accused of grassing on Gareth Molloy when he was sent down.
You're deadly enemies.
How would you know? They thought I knew something cos my mate was driving for them.
- They thought I'd grassed.
Would I? - No, I don't suppose you would.
So you thought the Bill had come about some ordinary, legitimate crime? She's a good girl, Mr Rumpole.
Then where the devil did these ideas come from? Oh, sorry.
There they are.
The devil worshippers.
They've just come out of Rumpole's room.
Rumpole? You have had them in here.
Had who in here, Ballard? Those who owe allegiance to the Evil One.
Mr Justice Graves' fan club? No, they haven't been here.
- You know who I mean! - Oh, yes, they were all here! Mephistopheles! Beelzebub! Bilial! "High on a throne of royal state, "which far outshone the wealth of Ormus and of Ind, "or where the gorgeous East with richest hand show'rs on her kings "barbaric pearl and gold, Satan exalted sat! "By merit rais'd to that bad eminence "and from despair, thus high uplifted without hope" Oh, grow up, Ballard! I'm representing an eight-year-old child snatched from the bosom of a family and she doesn't even know the charges.
You see before you Rumpole, the protector of the innocent.
- Of devil worshippers! - Those, too, if necessary.
- Rumpole - Yes? A decent chambers has to draw the line.
Does it? There are certain clients which are simply, well, unacceptable.
- Oh, I do agree! - Do you? Oh, yes, yes.
Defending a dubious bank as in the Golden Handcuffs share case.
That should be quite unacceptable.
Em, Rumpole, young Charlie Wisbeach wants to come into these chambers.
We have no room for him at the moment.
Ah, poor Charlie.
Has he thought of a cardboard box in Middle Temple Lane? Rumpole, this is neither the time nor the place for your jokes.
You are here on a tenancy and tenancies can be brought to an end.
Rumpole There is something in this room that makes me feel uneasy.
Yes, I know, but perhaps you'll be going.
I've given you fair warning.
I expect you to think about it.
Ballard, why don't you look up exorcism in the Yellow Pages? There's an unfrocked bishop who will give you a very good price.
Return to Knightsbridge, please.
- One sixty, please.
- There we are.
Ta.
(Guard) Mind the doors! - Oh, hello! Come in, Horace.
- Thank you, my dear.
(Gentle piano music) You just caught sight of him, did you, Hilda? Knightsbridge Station.
Rumpole's got no business there at lunchtime.
Unless he was up to no good, which of course he was, the devil.
Well what are you going to do? I'm going to think about it.
Good Heavens, if I hadn't been on my way here, I'd have never spotted him.
Are you going to face him with it? Of course I am.
Not just yet, perhaps.
Not quite yet.
I shall choose my moment, carefully.
When will it be, Hilda? It will be exactly when it suits me.
Which will be when? When he least expects it.
One, two, quick, quick, slow.
Slow, now back on the left foot.
Slow, quick, quick, slow.
Slow, quick, quick, slow.
Slow, chassé, chassé, chassé.
And now back, left.
Right, quick, quick (Mirabelle) "A devil's mask, Dominic? "He wanted you to play at devils, this man did? "He said he was the Devil.
(Mirabelle) "He was the Devil.
"And what were you supposed to be? - "Perhaps the Devil's children?" - I object.
- Mr Rumpole? - I object.
That was a leading question.
The concept of Devil's children was being suggested to the witness.
That evidence is entirely inadmissible.
As your clerk will, no doubt, tell you.
(lf he knows his business.
) Mr Rumpole, Miss Jones is an extremely experienced social worker.
She puts questions in the proper manner.
I was merely venturing to point out, madam, that, on this occasion, Miss Jones put the question in an improper manner.
My bench will see the film to the end, Mr Rumpole.
You can make points later.
(Her master's voice.
) My point, madam, is that you should not be seeing this film at all.
We're going to continue with it now.
"Was that the game you had to play? "Dance around.
"Dance around? "I want you to tell me, Dominic.
When did you meet this man? "At Tracy Timson's house? Is that where you met him?" It's a leading question! "Do you know who he was, Dominic? "Who was he, Dominic? You've been such a help to me so far.
"Can you tell me who he was? "Tracy's dad.
" Oh, madam, you are not going to allow this as evidence, surely? What a child said to a social worker, a child not called as a witness, and we cannot cross-examine, is nothing but hearsay.
Absolutely worthless.
- Madam Chair? - Yes, Miss Probert? - Mr Rumpole is used to the Old Bailey.
- And the rules of evidence.
This court is not bound by such strict rules.
When the welfare of a child is concerned, you are not tied down to a lot of legal quibbles about hearsay.
- Legal quibbles?! - You're free, assisted by Miss Jones, to get to the truth of the matter.
My Learned Friend was my pupil.
I spent months, a year of my life, giving her a knowledge of the law.
Mr Rumpole, my bench would like to get on with the evidence.
Speeches will come later.
Oh, they will, madam.
They most certainly will.
Let me give you a tip, Rumpole.
- What?! - I'd keep off the law if I were you.
They don't like it here.
Miss Jones, we are grateful for your thoroughness on this difficult case.
(Mirabelle) Thank you, Madam Chairman.
We have seen the interview you carried out with Tracy on the video film.
Was there anything about that interview that you thought especially significant? It was when I showed her the picture of the Devil.
She wasn't frightened at all.
In fact, she smiled.
I thought Is there any point in me telling you that what this witness thought is not evidence? Please carry on, if you'd be so kind.
I thought it was because it reminded her of someone she knew well, like her dad.
Someone like her dad.
Yes.
- Have you any questions, Mr Rumpole? - Oh, yes, madam.
Miss Mirabelle Jones, you are, I take it, against cruelty to children? - Of course.
That goes without saying.
- Oh, does it? Can you think of a more cruel act for a child than to come at night and snatch it away without even a Barbara doll as consolation? - Barbie doll, Mr Rumpole.
- What? I think your client said, "Barbie doll".
- W-Well, yes.
That or a single toy? - We don't want them disturbed by - By thoughts of home? - Yes.
You wanted Tracy to concentrate on your dotty idea of devil worship? It wasn't a dotty idea, Mr Rumpole! I had to act quickly.
Tracy had to be removed from evil.
Ah, evil.
Now then What do you mean by that exactly? You ought to know, Mr Rumpole.
You get plenty down at the Old Bailey.
Oh, well played, Ms Probert.
No doubt about it, your pupiling days are over.
Let us come down for a moment from the world of gossip and hearsay to what we call down the Old Bailey hard facts.
You know that Cary Timson is a small-time thief and a minor villain? I have submitted in evidence the list of his criminal convictions, yes.
Is it the sort of record, Mr Rumpole, you might expect a good father to have? He is a humble member of the Clan Timson, a vast family of South London villains.
Remind us, if you would, of the name of that imaginative little boy that you interviewed on television.
Dominic Molloy.
Molloy, yes.
And as we have heard so often, - you are an experienced social worker.
- I think so.
With a vast knowledge of social life in this part of South London.
I get to know a good deal, of course I do.
So it's no surprise to you when I suggest that the Molloys are a family of villains of a rather more dangerous nature? I didn't know that, Mr Rumpole, but if you say so Oh, I do say so.
And did you meet Dominic's mother, Mrs Peggy Molloy? Yes, I had a good old chat with Mum over a cuppa.
And over a cuppa did Mum Molloy tell you that Gareth, Dominic's father, is in Wandsworth Prison as a result of a supermarket robbery with violence? Mr Rumpole, my bench is wondering if this is entirely relevant.
If your bench listens very carefully, it may well find out, sir.
- Did you know that? - I didn't know he was in prison, no.
And did you know that Dominic's father suspects Tracy's dad here, as you would call him, of being the informer who put him there? No, I didn't, Mr Rumpole.
Miss Jones, are you telling this bench that as an experienced social worker you did not trouble to find out the deep hatred between Timsons and Molloys? A hatred which goes back over generations of villainy to the dark days when Crockthorpe was a village and villains swung outside Newgate? I have nothing about that in my file.
Nothing in your file.
And has your file considered that young Dominic might be encouraged to put an innocent young girl from a rival family in the frame? - It seems rather far-fetched to me.
- Far-fetched, Miss Jones? You who believe in devil worship? It's all very well to accuse the deeply caring Miss Jones of guessing, but we have to tell the old darlings on the bench where those masks came from.
Ah! - Our client, Cary Timson - Dad.
- He denies all knowledge.
- Well, he would.
The honour of the Timsons.
Just a minute! What's the name of this street? It isn't, by any chance All right, who did rob Wedge's Carnival Novelty Shop? - Mr Rumpole, I can't - You can't grass.
The code of the Timsons.
Well, there's something far more important.
Let's see that wallet of yours again.
That photograph you showed me.
Yes, that's the one.
Take a good look at it.
Is she less important than honour among thieves? Bloody joke shop! I told you it was daft robbing a joke shop.
There was always money left in the till.
Our info told us that.
- Security was hopeless.
- Why did you leave the stuff at my place? Well, Fred's was under surveillance.
So was mine.
Seeing as you were in Marbella - Thanks very much(!) - He knew where you kept your key.
- Lucky the Old Bill never thought of it! - I meant to go back for it.
Seeing as it's so trivial, it slipped my mind, to be honest.
- It was no trivial matter for our Tracy! - No.
I know that, Roz.
Sorry about that.
- We're not saying to put your hand up.
- Yes, we are! You've got to, for our Tracy! - Hang about a bit! Who says? - Mr Rumpole! - Hello! - Ah, Rumpole, old man.
- Glass of Bolly? - Oh, why? Er, why not? Ballard asked me in.
There may be a vacancy in your chambers.
Where Ballard is, there is always a vacancy.
What do you mean, exactly? Oh, I'm sorry.
Haven't you had a falling out? I was not aware that we'd ever fallen in.
- You don't see eye-to-eye.
- Oh, really? What about, exactly? Some case you were doing about devils.
I wasn't exactly clear.
He said you'd be off to pastures new.
It'll be a bit of a wrench leaving that room looking down on the Temple Church.
- And Oliver Goldsmith's tomb.
- Really? Oh, you you mean Sam Johnson's.
- You told me it was Oliver Goldsmith.
- No, I told you Dr Johnson.
- Goldsmith! - I've got £10 that says it's Johnson.
I'll give you odds.
3/1 against, Johnson.
OIly Goldsmith, evens.
20/1 the field.
Done! Why don't we check on it now? 30 quid? I'll take a taxi home! 10 quid down and you'll walk! Come on, Arabella.
Bring the bottle, old girl.
Oh, gosh! What a hoot! I'll catch you up.
I just want to make a phone call.
(Telephone rings) - Hello? - Ballard, I'm glad I caught you.
I saw the chambers lights on.
You said you'd be working late.
Why don't you go into my room, take a look at the Temple churchyard.
Well, I think something appalling might be going on.
No, nothing to do with me, but I thought you ought to know.
(Drunken laughter) I beg your pardon? (Arabella) Where is it? Here Move over.
(Both) "Here lies - "Oliver Goldsmith"! - Charlie! Cheers! I was after the money, really.
Well, I suppose I got a bit greedy.
So I shoved a few of those boxes in the back of the vehicle.
I didn't want them at my place, so I shoved them into Cary's garage.
Why did you do that? Young Cary didn't have anything to do with the Wedge's job, so I thought they'd be safe enough there.
Of course, I was under considerable pressure of work at that time and it slipped my mind to tell them.
- Did you see what's inside the boxes? - Oh, yes, yes.
I had a look inside.
It just seemed to be a lot of carnival masks, that old rubbish.
Tracy getting the devil masks was just the usual cock-up? What did you say, Mr Rumpole? Ah, oh Just the usual stock up for Christmas, Madam Chairperson.
One more thing, Mr Dennis Timson.
Do you know why young Dominic accused Tracy and her father of fiendish rituals? Yeah, of course I do.
Peggy Molloy told Barry Pilgrim's wife and she told my Doreen down at the Needle Arms.
- We can't possibly have this evidence! - Oh, really? Why ever not? What Barry's wife told Mrs Timson is pure hearsay! Of course it is! And it is permitted in the Court of Family Proceedings.
Where the interest of the child is at stake, we are not bound by legal quibbles.
What exactly did you hear? Well, Gareth thought that Cary grassed him up for the supermarket job.
So they got young Dominic to put the frame around Tracy and her dad.
So what you are telling us, Mr Timson, is that this little boy's evidence was pure invention? You can't trust the Molloys, can you, m'lady? Everybody knows that.
They're a right family of villains.
Look, she's got her best dress on just for you.
There's a big surprise waiting for you at home.
Jump in.
Hilda! Hilda! I have good news, Hilda! - Ho-ho! Excellent news! - You seem very full of yourself.
"Surprised by joy - impatient as the Wind, I turned to share the transport.
- "Oh! With whom but Thee!" - Been having a good time, Rumpole? A great time, Hilda! I managed to extricate young Tracy Timson from the clutches of the caring society.
She is now back, safe in the bosom of her family.
I'll be getting another brief - defending Dennis Timson on a charge of stealing from Wedge's novelty shop.
- I expect I'll think of something.
- Rumpole Don't you think it's time we talked for once? Is there something that you feel you ought to tell me? Well, yes, Hilda, in fact there is.
And you've had time to think up some ridiculous defence.
No, I plead guilty.
No mitigating circumstances.
- Oh, Rumpole, how could you? - Well, temporary madness, I suppose.
But I did it and it cost a fortune.
You had to pay? - You don't get it for nothing.
- I imagine not.
100 smackers it cost.
To celebrate your birthday.
Two tickets for the Scales of Justice Ball, Hilda.
Happy birthday.
Now what was it you wanted us to talk about? Oh, perhaps some other time, Rumpole.
(Light dance music) - Too bad Guthrie's sitting in Newcastle.
- He's so sorry to miss all the fun.
Philly's away in Swansea.
The leisure centre murder.
Never mind, Claude.
I'll dance with you.
Yes, Erskine-Brown.
You may shake a foot with my wife.
Well, thank you very much.
I thought Charlie Wisbeach and his girlfriend were joining us.
No, he will not be joining us - or in chambers.
I thought it was more or less fixed.
No, Claude.
More or less unstuck.
- Have you faced him with it yet? - I'm waiting for the right moment.
- It seems a long time coming.
- He told me we were coming here.
- He behaved well for once.
- They do, occasionally.
Don't be put off.
May I ask you why Charlie Wisbeach isn't joining us? Not on this otherwise happy occasion, Erskine-Brown.
I can only say practices.
Of course he practises.
Do you know about this, Rumpole? Who, me? Know anything? Nothing at all.
We simply have no accommodation for him.
He is not a suitable candidate.
- Well - Never refer to the matter again.
Now, as head of chambers, I shall lead my wife out onto the dance floor.
No, Ballard, with all due respect, as the oldest serving chamber member's wife, She Who is Mrs Rumpole should be led out first.
Oh, would you like to? Would you care to dance, Hilda? Rumpole Are you sure you can manage? I'm perfectly confident, thank you.
- Rumpole, your chassé! - I do that quite a lot these days.
- Wherever did you learn? - Well, to be perfectly honest If you're capable of that.
The former Southern Counties ballroom champion.
In the Yellow Pages.
Took a few lessons.
A Miss Isadora Fern.
In Mowbray Crescent? Hilda, you knew! Don't think you can ever do anything that I don't know about, Rumpole.
- Ah, Ballard.
- You're really quite nippy on your feet.
Marguerite Ballard is looking absolutely green with envy.
You are an old devil, Rumpole.
- Oh, no.
- What's that, Rumpole? A mere invitation, Hilda.
The Scales of Justice Ball at the Savoy Hotel.
Disgusting sight - Her Majesty's judges creaking around in a foxtrot.
- You wouldn't enjoy that, would you? - I suppose not, in the circumstances.
- What circumstances? - It's too humiliating.
I quite agree.
Not a pretty sight - pirouetting Ballards and Erskine-Browns! - Claude and Philly dance well together.
- They don't do much else together.
Why is it that you never lead me out onto the dance floor nowadays? - Ah, well now - I sometimes dream about it.
We're at the Scales of Justice Ball at the Savoy Hotel.
On my birthday.
And you lead me out onto the floor as the first lady in chambers.
Hilda, I have many talents, but I am not Nijinsky and we don't get much time to practise dancing down the Old Bailey.
- Oh, Hilda, you're not - No, no.
No, of course not.
You must get to work.
Go on.
Work is the only thing that matters to you.
You'd rather defend a murderer than dance with your wife.
(TV) "Oh, my God! "The Goat of Mendes - the Devil himself!" (Doorbell) - Oh, Mum! - Shut up! - Mrs Molloy.
- Yeah, what is it? - You're Dominic's mum? - What if I am? I'm Mirabelle Jones from Social Services.
Do call me Mirabelle.
I think Dominic is a little friend of my client, Tracy Timson, isn't he? We're not friends to the Timsons, exactly.
Well, shall we say a little classmate? We're making inquiries about Tracy.
- Is she in trouble? - Let's say she has a few problems.
Problems? I should think so, her being a Timson! What kind of problems, exactly? Remember the children wearing those horrid masks, Dominic? - They scared me.
- I'm sure they did.
- Did you see who was leading them? - In the end.
- Who was it, Dominic? - Trace.
- Tracy Timson? - Yeah.
Your mum said you went round to Tracy's a few times.
After school? - Yeah, after school.
- Then you went somewhere else.
- Where else? - Where they put people.
The churchyard? Was it a churchyard? St Elphick's.
It WAS a churchyard.
Was it dark? After school.
Perhaps late.
A month ago So it was dark.
Did a grown-up come with you? A man, perhaps? Did a man come? - He said we was to play a game.
- What sort of game? - He put something on his face.
- A mask? - Black, and horns on it.
- A devil's mask? Is that right? - He wanted you to play at devils? - He said he was the Devil.
He was to be the Devil.
And what were you supposed to be? Perhaps you were the Devil's children? Was that the game you had to play? - Dance around.
- Dance around? Now I want you to tell me, Dominic, when did you meet this man? At Tracy Timson's house? Is that where you met him? Do you know who he was, Dominic? Who was he, Dominic? You've been such a help to me so far.
Can you tell me who he was? Tracy's dad.
(Doorbell rings) (Persistent ringing) (Pounding) How do I know who it is?! All right! Don't hammer the bleedin' door down! - What have you done? - Oh, shut up, Roz! Oh, not again.
This is out of order.
- Mr Cary Timson? - If it's about that shop - I know bugger all.
- It's about your Tracy.
Tracy? She's asleep upstairs in bed.
Isn't she asleep upstairs? - Are you Mum? - Of course! What do you want? We want to look after your Tracy, Mum.
She needs rather special care.
I'm sure you're both going to help us.
We rely on Mum and Dad to be very sensible.
- You've come to take her away! - No, no, no - You're not bloody taking her away! - We just want the very best for her.
We do have a court order.
Now shall we go and wake Tracy up? Ever so gently.
I don't think we'll be needing toys where we're going.
- Mum will look after her.
- I want my mummy! Mum! Mummy! You always done your best for the Timson family.
Of course.
Timsons have been a source of gainful employment for many years.
You are the prop and stay of my old age.
You're not in trouble yourself? No, nothing.
They questioned me about that shop down Gunter Avenue, but they've got no evidence.
- It's young Tracy Timson, Mr Rumpole.
- Bloody marvellous.
- Eight years old and needs a brief.
- Eight?! She's starting young.
Here you are.
That's her in Marbella.
Does she have the look of a villain? Well, I'd say not a hardened criminal.
Childhood - a difficult period from what I can remember.
They wouldn't let her take a doll.
Not even her new Barbie.
- What? - Barbie doll.
- She's got a collection of them.
- What's her crime, Mr Rumpole? - What's on her charge sheet? - Er, nothing yet.
Ah, well, childhood is a crime in itself to some people.
- We can't get sense out of Miss Jones.
- Jones? Officer in charge of case.
Social worker.
Ah, one of the caring community.
What does Jones say Tracy's done? She's making further inquiries.
I never discovered what I'd done when they banged me up at eight.
- Really, Mr Rumpole? - Nobody ever explained my offence.
So there I was, condemned to cold baths and cross-country running and a headmaster directly descended from Captain Bligh.
And all for the serious crime of being eight.
- Our Tracy's eight.
- That's what they've got against her.
Only just eight.
All right, Tracy.
We're going to play with dolls.
- You like dolls.
- I haven't got no dolls here.
These aren't Barbies, but they're very interesting.
You and I will play with them.
That'll be fun, won't it? So, look at this one.
- This is Mum.
- That's not my mum.
Oh, I know it's not your mum, Tracy.
I know that, love.
It's just mums in general.
Everyone's mum.
See? Look at her little apron.
- Is she going to do the washing up? - No.
- Why not, Tracy? - Mum's got a dishwasher.
Well, your mum's very lucky, isn't she? And here's Dad.
He's got a moustache, hasn't he? And here's Grandma.
Do you call her Grandma, Tracy? Or do you call her Nan? - I call her Grandma.
- She's got grey hair, hasn't she? - Look at her spectacles.
- Not my grandma.
Oh.
Well, here's Grandpa.
There.
Can you see him? Now I want you to take any two of these dolls, any two of them.
Any two of these dolls.
Mum.
Yes, she's lying down.
I expect she's tired.
Grandpa.
What's Grandpa doing? - He's kissing my mum.
- Is he? - Well, yes, I suppose he is.
- (Telephone) Yes.
Mirabelle? I think you should show her the picture now.
Now I want you to think about something else, Tracy.
Is there anything worrying you, Tracy? You know who that is, don't you? No.
It's the Devil, isn't it? You know about devils.
You put on a devil's mask at school, didn't you? I might have done.
So what do you think of the Devil, then? - He's funny.
- Funny? He's got a tail.
The tail's funny.
When did you first hear about the Devil, Tracy? - I don't know.
- Oh, you must know.
Did you hear about the Devil at home? Did your dad tell you about the Devil? Does that picture of the Devil remind you of anyone, Tracy? Does it look like your dad at all? - Morning, all! - Ah, this is Miss Clapton.
- Hi! - Hello.
- Diane took leave of her senses.
- Why? What's happened to Diane? - Married, Mr Rumpole.
- Oh.
To a junior clerk.
She'll live to regret it.
Welcome to Equity Court, Miss Clapton.
If you're very good, you may get parole in about 10 years.
Soft, the fair Miss Probert.
What's that you're fondling? - What does it look like? - A brief! Got it in one.
Time marches on.
My ex-pupil has begun to acquire briefs.
What is it? Non-renewed dog licence? A bit more serious than that! I'm for the Crockthorpe Local Authority.
Are you, indeed? I'm suitably overawed.
A little girl we took into care.
In terrible danger in the home.
Father had a criminal record.
In fact, it may be a name you're familiar with.
- Timson.
- Oh, they've taken away a Timson girl? - Because of his criminal record? - No.
Something rather awful going on.
- Devil worship.
- Devil worship?! The family were deeply into it.
Shocking.
Really? Do you believe in the Devil? Of course I don't, Rumpole! Don't be ridiculous.
That's hardly the point.
Oh, isn't it? It interests me.
I'm likely to be against you in the Court of Family Proceedings.
I'm Attorney General for the Timsons.
You, Rumpole? On the side of the Devil? Why not? They tell me he has all the best lines.
- Horace.
You know Charlie Wisbeach? - Never heard of him.
Ah.
- Wisbeach, Perkins and Harries.
- Good God! Are they all here? That's my dad's firm.
You're Rumpole.
My father wondered if you still practise.
No, I think I can do it now.
It would be a great experience to join you.
- To join me to what, exactly? - Charlie's done commercial pupilage.
He wants to sharpen up his advocacy.
Where? There may be an inch or two in the downstairs loo.
I thought we agreed there was no more room at the inn? - There is your room, Rumpole.
- Yes, and me in it.
We thought you just might share.
Charlie has an impressive CV.
- See what? - Curriculum Vitae.
Eton.
Eatin'? Good at that, too? I thought it was mainly drinkin'.
- The old school.
Slough Grammar.
- Ah.
Of course.
We thought you'd be out and about in court and I'd be putting my brief onto the floppy disk.
Dragging your room into the 20th century! It could do with a spot of decorating.
Lovely old spot.
Claude showed me.
- When? - When you were at Snaresbrook.
Like you, sir, your room is part of history.
Fine views over the churchyard.
Don't you look down at Dr Johnson's tomb? Oliver Goldsmith's, as a matter of fact.
- No, it's Johnson's.
- Goldsmith.
- Want a bet? - Not particularly.
It wouldn't last forever.
- You must be thinking about retirement.
- Must I? In the meantime, think of the work.
I still have work to do and I do it best alone as a free spirit.
Wrongs are still to be righted.
Mr Justice Graves still puts the boot in, Inspector Brush refers to unreliable notes and an eight-year-old Timson girl has been banged up.
Not in Eton College like you, Master Charlie, but into the tender mercy of the Crockthorpe Local Authority.
The child is suspected of devil worship.
Can you believe it? An offence I thought went out with the Inquisition! - Is that your case, Rumpole? - Oh, yes, and I have a worthy opponent.
None other than Ms Liz Probert, with the full might of the local authority.
So, while there are still such challenges to be contested, let me tell you, Claude, and you too, Charlie whatsit, Rumpole shall never sheath the sword.
Never! Oh, I'm sorry.
Funny old buffer! And in this file we keep - Henry, where's Mr Ballard? - I'm showing Miss Clapton the ropes.
- What ropes? - The ropes of chambers.
You weren't here earlier or you'd know Miss Clapton is joining us, Diane having gone to get married.
Well, you can't tell some people.
Miss Clapton! Welcome, Miss Clapton.
I hope you'll be very happy here.
Any problems, you know who to come to.
She'll come to me.
Head of Department.
Of course.
But any special problems.
What shall I call you? Call me early! - As it so happens, my name's Dot.
- Dot! What a beautiful name.
Dot.
Now over here we have the appointments diary Did Mr Rumpole have a conference with the parents of this child? - Yes, sir.
Why? - In his rooms? In this very chambers? In Mr Rumpole's room, yes.
Where else? Of course he did.
Where else? And where did you say Mr Ballard was? I didn't, sir.
But he's at his Lawyers As Christians group.
- In the Temple Church.
- In church? How very appropriate.
And the Lord said unto Satan, "Whence comest thou?" And Satan answered, "From walking up and down in the world.
" Sounds commonplace, doesn't it? Like an ordinary person.
But then we think of evil as a person, as a he.
Or a she.
Not an it.
"From walking up and down.
" Satan can be just another face in the crowd.
We must always be on our guard against him for the fallen angel is the great enemy.
We will now sing Hymn 181.
- I say, Ballard - Have you joined us? Yes.
Subscription's in the post.
You need all our support.
I have to tell you about Rumpole.
Please, this is no place to be discussing such matters as Rumpole.
# mysterious way His wonders to perform # Devil worshippers! # footsteps on the sea # Rumpole's in with devil worshippers.
# from the storm.
# What did you say? Rumpole in his disgraceful way Has taken on the case About some devil worshippers He's had them in your place.
In your chambers, I mean.
(Phone tinkles) Hello? Hello, it's Horace.
Horace Rumpole.
- You told me to ring early.
- (Female) I was thinking about you.
Could you manage lunchtime? I think I can get away.
The usual place? - Yes, of course.
- Ah, splendid.
Bye! The Devil?! Tracy don't know about the Devil! It's not as if we went to church.
Are you sure you've never meddled in this? Satan? The spirit of evil? - The Timsons know nothing of this? - Of course not.
Nothin' at all.
What did you think the Bill were after? I thought they'd come about that shop.
They've had me in time and time again.
- And that wasn't you? - No.
Would I lie to you? It has been known, but I'll believe you.
Do you know who did it? Yeah.
Mr Rumpole, I won't grass.
I won't do it.
I was accused of grassing on Gareth Molloy when he was sent down.
You're deadly enemies.
How would you know? They thought I knew something cos my mate was driving for them.
- They thought I'd grassed.
Would I? - No, I don't suppose you would.
So you thought the Bill had come about some ordinary, legitimate crime? She's a good girl, Mr Rumpole.
Then where the devil did these ideas come from? Oh, sorry.
There they are.
The devil worshippers.
They've just come out of Rumpole's room.
Rumpole? You have had them in here.
Had who in here, Ballard? Those who owe allegiance to the Evil One.
Mr Justice Graves' fan club? No, they haven't been here.
- You know who I mean! - Oh, yes, they were all here! Mephistopheles! Beelzebub! Bilial! "High on a throne of royal state, "which far outshone the wealth of Ormus and of Ind, "or where the gorgeous East with richest hand show'rs on her kings "barbaric pearl and gold, Satan exalted sat! "By merit rais'd to that bad eminence "and from despair, thus high uplifted without hope" Oh, grow up, Ballard! I'm representing an eight-year-old child snatched from the bosom of a family and she doesn't even know the charges.
You see before you Rumpole, the protector of the innocent.
- Of devil worshippers! - Those, too, if necessary.
- Rumpole - Yes? A decent chambers has to draw the line.
Does it? There are certain clients which are simply, well, unacceptable.
- Oh, I do agree! - Do you? Oh, yes, yes.
Defending a dubious bank as in the Golden Handcuffs share case.
That should be quite unacceptable.
Em, Rumpole, young Charlie Wisbeach wants to come into these chambers.
We have no room for him at the moment.
Ah, poor Charlie.
Has he thought of a cardboard box in Middle Temple Lane? Rumpole, this is neither the time nor the place for your jokes.
You are here on a tenancy and tenancies can be brought to an end.
Rumpole There is something in this room that makes me feel uneasy.
Yes, I know, but perhaps you'll be going.
I've given you fair warning.
I expect you to think about it.
Ballard, why don't you look up exorcism in the Yellow Pages? There's an unfrocked bishop who will give you a very good price.
Return to Knightsbridge, please.
- One sixty, please.
- There we are.
Ta.
(Guard) Mind the doors! - Oh, hello! Come in, Horace.
- Thank you, my dear.
(Gentle piano music) You just caught sight of him, did you, Hilda? Knightsbridge Station.
Rumpole's got no business there at lunchtime.
Unless he was up to no good, which of course he was, the devil.
Well what are you going to do? I'm going to think about it.
Good Heavens, if I hadn't been on my way here, I'd have never spotted him.
Are you going to face him with it? Of course I am.
Not just yet, perhaps.
Not quite yet.
I shall choose my moment, carefully.
When will it be, Hilda? It will be exactly when it suits me.
Which will be when? When he least expects it.
One, two, quick, quick, slow.
Slow, now back on the left foot.
Slow, quick, quick, slow.
Slow, quick, quick, slow.
Slow, chassé, chassé, chassé.
And now back, left.
Right, quick, quick (Mirabelle) "A devil's mask, Dominic? "He wanted you to play at devils, this man did? "He said he was the Devil.
(Mirabelle) "He was the Devil.
"And what were you supposed to be? - "Perhaps the Devil's children?" - I object.
- Mr Rumpole? - I object.
That was a leading question.
The concept of Devil's children was being suggested to the witness.
That evidence is entirely inadmissible.
As your clerk will, no doubt, tell you.
(lf he knows his business.
) Mr Rumpole, Miss Jones is an extremely experienced social worker.
She puts questions in the proper manner.
I was merely venturing to point out, madam, that, on this occasion, Miss Jones put the question in an improper manner.
My bench will see the film to the end, Mr Rumpole.
You can make points later.
(Her master's voice.
) My point, madam, is that you should not be seeing this film at all.
We're going to continue with it now.
"Was that the game you had to play? "Dance around.
"Dance around? "I want you to tell me, Dominic.
When did you meet this man? "At Tracy Timson's house? Is that where you met him?" It's a leading question! "Do you know who he was, Dominic? "Who was he, Dominic? You've been such a help to me so far.
"Can you tell me who he was? "Tracy's dad.
" Oh, madam, you are not going to allow this as evidence, surely? What a child said to a social worker, a child not called as a witness, and we cannot cross-examine, is nothing but hearsay.
Absolutely worthless.
- Madam Chair? - Yes, Miss Probert? - Mr Rumpole is used to the Old Bailey.
- And the rules of evidence.
This court is not bound by such strict rules.
When the welfare of a child is concerned, you are not tied down to a lot of legal quibbles about hearsay.
- Legal quibbles?! - You're free, assisted by Miss Jones, to get to the truth of the matter.
My Learned Friend was my pupil.
I spent months, a year of my life, giving her a knowledge of the law.
Mr Rumpole, my bench would like to get on with the evidence.
Speeches will come later.
Oh, they will, madam.
They most certainly will.
Let me give you a tip, Rumpole.
- What?! - I'd keep off the law if I were you.
They don't like it here.
Miss Jones, we are grateful for your thoroughness on this difficult case.
(Mirabelle) Thank you, Madam Chairman.
We have seen the interview you carried out with Tracy on the video film.
Was there anything about that interview that you thought especially significant? It was when I showed her the picture of the Devil.
She wasn't frightened at all.
In fact, she smiled.
I thought Is there any point in me telling you that what this witness thought is not evidence? Please carry on, if you'd be so kind.
I thought it was because it reminded her of someone she knew well, like her dad.
Someone like her dad.
Yes.
- Have you any questions, Mr Rumpole? - Oh, yes, madam.
Miss Mirabelle Jones, you are, I take it, against cruelty to children? - Of course.
That goes without saying.
- Oh, does it? Can you think of a more cruel act for a child than to come at night and snatch it away without even a Barbara doll as consolation? - Barbie doll, Mr Rumpole.
- What? I think your client said, "Barbie doll".
- W-Well, yes.
That or a single toy? - We don't want them disturbed by - By thoughts of home? - Yes.
You wanted Tracy to concentrate on your dotty idea of devil worship? It wasn't a dotty idea, Mr Rumpole! I had to act quickly.
Tracy had to be removed from evil.
Ah, evil.
Now then What do you mean by that exactly? You ought to know, Mr Rumpole.
You get plenty down at the Old Bailey.
Oh, well played, Ms Probert.
No doubt about it, your pupiling days are over.
Let us come down for a moment from the world of gossip and hearsay to what we call down the Old Bailey hard facts.
You know that Cary Timson is a small-time thief and a minor villain? I have submitted in evidence the list of his criminal convictions, yes.
Is it the sort of record, Mr Rumpole, you might expect a good father to have? He is a humble member of the Clan Timson, a vast family of South London villains.
Remind us, if you would, of the name of that imaginative little boy that you interviewed on television.
Dominic Molloy.
Molloy, yes.
And as we have heard so often, - you are an experienced social worker.
- I think so.
With a vast knowledge of social life in this part of South London.
I get to know a good deal, of course I do.
So it's no surprise to you when I suggest that the Molloys are a family of villains of a rather more dangerous nature? I didn't know that, Mr Rumpole, but if you say so Oh, I do say so.
And did you meet Dominic's mother, Mrs Peggy Molloy? Yes, I had a good old chat with Mum over a cuppa.
And over a cuppa did Mum Molloy tell you that Gareth, Dominic's father, is in Wandsworth Prison as a result of a supermarket robbery with violence? Mr Rumpole, my bench is wondering if this is entirely relevant.
If your bench listens very carefully, it may well find out, sir.
- Did you know that? - I didn't know he was in prison, no.
And did you know that Dominic's father suspects Tracy's dad here, as you would call him, of being the informer who put him there? No, I didn't, Mr Rumpole.
Miss Jones, are you telling this bench that as an experienced social worker you did not trouble to find out the deep hatred between Timsons and Molloys? A hatred which goes back over generations of villainy to the dark days when Crockthorpe was a village and villains swung outside Newgate? I have nothing about that in my file.
Nothing in your file.
And has your file considered that young Dominic might be encouraged to put an innocent young girl from a rival family in the frame? - It seems rather far-fetched to me.
- Far-fetched, Miss Jones? You who believe in devil worship? It's all very well to accuse the deeply caring Miss Jones of guessing, but we have to tell the old darlings on the bench where those masks came from.
Ah! - Our client, Cary Timson - Dad.
- He denies all knowledge.
- Well, he would.
The honour of the Timsons.
Just a minute! What's the name of this street? It isn't, by any chance All right, who did rob Wedge's Carnival Novelty Shop? - Mr Rumpole, I can't - You can't grass.
The code of the Timsons.
Well, there's something far more important.
Let's see that wallet of yours again.
That photograph you showed me.
Yes, that's the one.
Take a good look at it.
Is she less important than honour among thieves? Bloody joke shop! I told you it was daft robbing a joke shop.
There was always money left in the till.
Our info told us that.
- Security was hopeless.
- Why did you leave the stuff at my place? Well, Fred's was under surveillance.
So was mine.
Seeing as you were in Marbella - Thanks very much(!) - He knew where you kept your key.
- Lucky the Old Bill never thought of it! - I meant to go back for it.
Seeing as it's so trivial, it slipped my mind, to be honest.
- It was no trivial matter for our Tracy! - No.
I know that, Roz.
Sorry about that.
- We're not saying to put your hand up.
- Yes, we are! You've got to, for our Tracy! - Hang about a bit! Who says? - Mr Rumpole! - Hello! - Ah, Rumpole, old man.
- Glass of Bolly? - Oh, why? Er, why not? Ballard asked me in.
There may be a vacancy in your chambers.
Where Ballard is, there is always a vacancy.
What do you mean, exactly? Oh, I'm sorry.
Haven't you had a falling out? I was not aware that we'd ever fallen in.
- You don't see eye-to-eye.
- Oh, really? What about, exactly? Some case you were doing about devils.
I wasn't exactly clear.
He said you'd be off to pastures new.
It'll be a bit of a wrench leaving that room looking down on the Temple Church.
- And Oliver Goldsmith's tomb.
- Really? Oh, you you mean Sam Johnson's.
- You told me it was Oliver Goldsmith.
- No, I told you Dr Johnson.
- Goldsmith! - I've got £10 that says it's Johnson.
I'll give you odds.
3/1 against, Johnson.
OIly Goldsmith, evens.
20/1 the field.
Done! Why don't we check on it now? 30 quid? I'll take a taxi home! 10 quid down and you'll walk! Come on, Arabella.
Bring the bottle, old girl.
Oh, gosh! What a hoot! I'll catch you up.
I just want to make a phone call.
(Telephone rings) - Hello? - Ballard, I'm glad I caught you.
I saw the chambers lights on.
You said you'd be working late.
Why don't you go into my room, take a look at the Temple churchyard.
Well, I think something appalling might be going on.
No, nothing to do with me, but I thought you ought to know.
(Drunken laughter) I beg your pardon? (Arabella) Where is it? Here Move over.
(Both) "Here lies - "Oliver Goldsmith"! - Charlie! Cheers! I was after the money, really.
Well, I suppose I got a bit greedy.
So I shoved a few of those boxes in the back of the vehicle.
I didn't want them at my place, so I shoved them into Cary's garage.
Why did you do that? Young Cary didn't have anything to do with the Wedge's job, so I thought they'd be safe enough there.
Of course, I was under considerable pressure of work at that time and it slipped my mind to tell them.
- Did you see what's inside the boxes? - Oh, yes, yes.
I had a look inside.
It just seemed to be a lot of carnival masks, that old rubbish.
Tracy getting the devil masks was just the usual cock-up? What did you say, Mr Rumpole? Ah, oh Just the usual stock up for Christmas, Madam Chairperson.
One more thing, Mr Dennis Timson.
Do you know why young Dominic accused Tracy and her father of fiendish rituals? Yeah, of course I do.
Peggy Molloy told Barry Pilgrim's wife and she told my Doreen down at the Needle Arms.
- We can't possibly have this evidence! - Oh, really? Why ever not? What Barry's wife told Mrs Timson is pure hearsay! Of course it is! And it is permitted in the Court of Family Proceedings.
Where the interest of the child is at stake, we are not bound by legal quibbles.
What exactly did you hear? Well, Gareth thought that Cary grassed him up for the supermarket job.
So they got young Dominic to put the frame around Tracy and her dad.
So what you are telling us, Mr Timson, is that this little boy's evidence was pure invention? You can't trust the Molloys, can you, m'lady? Everybody knows that.
They're a right family of villains.
Look, she's got her best dress on just for you.
There's a big surprise waiting for you at home.
Jump in.
Hilda! Hilda! I have good news, Hilda! - Ho-ho! Excellent news! - You seem very full of yourself.
"Surprised by joy - impatient as the Wind, I turned to share the transport.
- "Oh! With whom but Thee!" - Been having a good time, Rumpole? A great time, Hilda! I managed to extricate young Tracy Timson from the clutches of the caring society.
She is now back, safe in the bosom of her family.
I'll be getting another brief - defending Dennis Timson on a charge of stealing from Wedge's novelty shop.
- I expect I'll think of something.
- Rumpole Don't you think it's time we talked for once? Is there something that you feel you ought to tell me? Well, yes, Hilda, in fact there is.
And you've had time to think up some ridiculous defence.
No, I plead guilty.
No mitigating circumstances.
- Oh, Rumpole, how could you? - Well, temporary madness, I suppose.
But I did it and it cost a fortune.
You had to pay? - You don't get it for nothing.
- I imagine not.
100 smackers it cost.
To celebrate your birthday.
Two tickets for the Scales of Justice Ball, Hilda.
Happy birthday.
Now what was it you wanted us to talk about? Oh, perhaps some other time, Rumpole.
(Light dance music) - Too bad Guthrie's sitting in Newcastle.
- He's so sorry to miss all the fun.
Philly's away in Swansea.
The leisure centre murder.
Never mind, Claude.
I'll dance with you.
Yes, Erskine-Brown.
You may shake a foot with my wife.
Well, thank you very much.
I thought Charlie Wisbeach and his girlfriend were joining us.
No, he will not be joining us - or in chambers.
I thought it was more or less fixed.
No, Claude.
More or less unstuck.
- Have you faced him with it yet? - I'm waiting for the right moment.
- It seems a long time coming.
- He told me we were coming here.
- He behaved well for once.
- They do, occasionally.
Don't be put off.
May I ask you why Charlie Wisbeach isn't joining us? Not on this otherwise happy occasion, Erskine-Brown.
I can only say practices.
Of course he practises.
Do you know about this, Rumpole? Who, me? Know anything? Nothing at all.
We simply have no accommodation for him.
He is not a suitable candidate.
- Well - Never refer to the matter again.
Now, as head of chambers, I shall lead my wife out onto the dance floor.
No, Ballard, with all due respect, as the oldest serving chamber member's wife, She Who is Mrs Rumpole should be led out first.
Oh, would you like to? Would you care to dance, Hilda? Rumpole Are you sure you can manage? I'm perfectly confident, thank you.
- Rumpole, your chassé! - I do that quite a lot these days.
- Wherever did you learn? - Well, to be perfectly honest If you're capable of that.
The former Southern Counties ballroom champion.
In the Yellow Pages.
Took a few lessons.
A Miss Isadora Fern.
In Mowbray Crescent? Hilda, you knew! Don't think you can ever do anything that I don't know about, Rumpole.
- Ah, Ballard.
- You're really quite nippy on your feet.
Marguerite Ballard is looking absolutely green with envy.
You are an old devil, Rumpole.