The Croods: Family Tree (2021) s07e01 Episode Script

1
[grunts in effort]
-[scream]
-[growls]
PHIL:
Today is a golden opportunity
to explore the world
beyond the wall.
-Not because we want you
to leave the farm,
but because youwant to.
-This is our gift to you.
Questions?
-Good. Have fun.
They're gone!
And they bought it!
-Peace and quiet at last!
-UGGA: We can hear you!
-[Phil gasps]
Let's live wild,
the world's our own
We built this wheel
now it's gunna roll
You know a spark
becomes a fire wherever we go
Whoa-ho-ho
Stuck together, stuck,
stuck together
It's an evolution
for worse or for better
To find some unity
For all humanity
Because we're
stuck together
In one big family tree
-Phil and Hope are the worst.
Especially Phil.
-Yeah. If we weren't
planning to hike anyway,
I'd let them have it.
-[growling]
-Ha.
We just ate lunch.
Are you hungry already?
-Yes,
but that wasn't my stomach.
That was alligoaters!
[Grug screams]
[battle cry]
[grunting]
[yells]
[grunts]
-Nice day for a hike.
-It would be
without all the alligoaters
and bearacudas
and tigerangutans.
I have beast burnout.
Let's head home.
-Yeah,
it's time for second lunch.
[chomping noisily]
-Are we sure your jungle picnic
is a good idea?
GUY:
Of course.
It's the perfect mix of sun,
scenery and
[growling]
scorpulion.
[roaring]
[all scream]
[battle cry]
[yells]
-Nice day for a picnic.
-Back at the farm? Good call.
-Yeah, let's eat and run.
-[Thunk whimpering]
-[gasps]
GRAN: Lot of animals on
the prowl down there, Sandy.
But no one's gonna
bug us up here.
[screams]
[growls]
Except those
no-good crowverines!
[lightning cracks]
And those eelgles.
[screaming]
-Huh?
-Nice day for a feather glide!
[laughter]
-Why are all of you
back so soon?
-Yes. Why are you inside
when you should be outside?
As in outside the wall,
far away from here?
-Animals are everywhere today,
and they're hungry
[grunts]
for us.
-Oh? What if those
poor creatures are hungry
for companionship
and good conversation instead?
Only one way to find out.
-Sorry, Dad, but we're
better off staying here.
Couches don't attack.
-So you're never
going to leave the farm
just because every time you do,
an animal tries to eat you?
What kind of attitude is that?
-Hey,
I love a good animal attack,
and I had a blast today.
But there's a difference between
handling trouble
and looking for it.
So here we are.
-Yeah, home squeeze home.
-Guy,
quit taking up so much room!
-Yeah, G-man,
you're like a sit-opotamus.
-Sorry. My bad.
-You can't just
stay inside forever.
-Challenge accepted.
-So that's it?
In the face of adversity,
your response is
unconditional surrender?
You're just giving up?
-I gave up a long time ago,
so I'm not giving up
on giving up.
-We're not giving up.
We're giving ourselves
some room to breathe.
GRAN: Wrong!
[grunts] All we have to do
is win Alphabout.
Any questions?
-Innumerable.
But let's begin with
-What is Alphabout?
I'm glad you asked.
-I didn't ask yet.
GRAN: Alphabout is
a ruthless tournament
of bare-paws-and-claws brawls
to determine the alpha,
the beast boss
of the animal kingdom.
-It's the best of the beasts!
Winner gets the crown,
losers go down!
-Do you wanna explain this?
-Sure, I'd love[grunts]
-Too bad!
This is a one-Gran show!
It all happens
inside the Alpharena,
a battle pit in a volcano.
Winner gets the crown,
losers go down!
GRUG:
Hey, I said that!
-Sounds terrifying and filthy.
But why have I
never heard of it?
-[grunts]
Because it's an animal thing.
No human has ever won.
-And why is that?
-Because no human
has ever entered.
-And why is that?
-Because no human
ever had what it takes.
-Until now.
-Look, I'm flattered, but
-I'm not talking about you,
meat neck. I'm talking about
-Me? Look, I'm flattered, but
-It's a fight, not a no-shirt
contest, bare-back.
GUY:
Hmm.
-So, me then?
-Getting warmer, but no.
-Me?
[coughs]
[laughs] Just kidding.
And couch.
-So you're
[grunts]
talking about Sandy?
-Someday, absolutely.
But not today.
'Cause I'm talking about Eep.
She has what it takes
to win Alphabout.
-Whoa, whoa, whoa. Me?
-Yeah, 'cause you're the best.
And no one messes with
the alpha.
Which means if you win,
no more animal attacks.
We can leave this dump
whenever we want
without a bunch of predators
trying to make us their prey.
-That would be a game changer.
DAWN:
Yeah.
We could have picnics and
not worry about
becoming the food.
-We could do whatever we wanted.
[grunts] Nothing could stop us.
Ah!
One more time, Sandy.
-You really think I have
what it takes to win Alphabout?
-No.
-Oh. Well,
why did you say I did then?
-Because you will,
after I'm done training you.
Let's get to work.
-Huh? Now?
GRAN:
Yes, now!
-You've fought animals,
but Alphabout is
a different beast altogether,
so you'll need different skills
to survive, let alone win.
If you wanna beat an animal,
you have to think
like an animal.
When pigators want something,
they go get it.
And nothing stands in their way.
-Got it.
-Not yet you don't.
-How's the training going?
Ooh! Strawpeary!
[chuckles]
[Eep grunts]
[chuckles]
-Now you got it,
because you got it.
High-five.
-Hey, are you gonna eat
that strawpeary?
-[body thuds]
-[Grug groans]
-Clean hit.
Another thing about animals?
They never quit.
Even when they should.
[growls]
-Yeah. Beemus are no joke,
but the honey
is worth the stings.
-Training hard or
hardly training, am I right?
Ooh!
Beemu honey!
[grunting]
-[body thuds]
-[Eep groans]
[grunting]
[pants, yells]
[groans]
[Eep grunting]
-Yah!
[sighs]
-[Eep yells]
-[Grug groans]
Yes! I didn't quit.
But I should have.
-[yells]
-[groans]
-[grunts] Oh, no.
It's stuck!
[Grug screaming]
-Good job. You got the hive.
-Yeah! Hive-five.
-Huh?
-[Gran grumbles]
Okay, why do I have
cucumbeet slices on my eyes?
-You lean on your eyes too much.
You gotta learn to use
your other senses to fight.
Like an animal.
Starting now!
[groans]
-I wasn't ready.
-Animals are always ready.
-Ow!
[pants, groans]
This isn't fair.
-Animals aren't fair!
-[Gran grunts]
-[groans, grunts]
-Okay, that's it.
[gasps]
[exhales]
[in slow-motion]
Uh-huh.
[both grunting]
How was that?
-Good enough to win Alphabout.
-Yeah! [laughs]
Thanks for coming, you guys.
-Are you kidding?
I wouldn't miss this
for anything.
But I'm so nervous.
I don't think I can watch.
So, mixed feelings,
a lot going on in my head,
but I'm with you!
-There's nothing going on
in my head.
I can't wait to watch
my daughter
jump into the meat grinder
with the toughest beats alive!
-Uh
-What your father means is
we believe in you, Eep.
-Right. What did I say?
-I'm behind you
all the way, Eepykins.
Oh.
Well, now I am.
-Sorry my parents didn't come.
They were pretty excited about
having the farm to themselves.
I wonder if they know Thunk
and Sandy stayed behind, too.
-Oh, I think they'll
figure that out soon enough.
-Once again, we have the farm
to ourselves, my dear.
Free from the chaos,
the cacophony,
the sheer,
unbridled pandemonium of
-Just stop talking and kiss me
before you ruin it.
BOTH:
Mm
[muffled groaning]
-Hi. Sandy caught a lobstingray
and we thought you guys
might want it
but now I'm not so sure.
[groaning continues]
-Welcome to the Alpharena,
home of Alphabout.
ALL:
Whoa!
-Enough whoa-ing.
Let's get in there
before the good seats are taken.
EEP:
Uh, you know,
maybe never leaving
the farm again
wouldn't be that bad.
-You're right.
Maybe you should quit.
-Really?
-GRAN: No!
That was a test, and you failed!
Remember, you never quit.
-Yeah. I was just joking.
-Ha! Good one, Eepyhead.
-Besides, you've got
nothing to worry about.
As long as you're holding
this feather, you can't lose.
-[gasps] Really?
-No!
How's a feather
gonna help you beat
the best animal
warriors alive?
It isn't!
-I know you'll win.
But no pressure.
I mean, what's the worst
that could happen?
-She loses, animals see it
as a sign of weakness.
So they invade the farm
and drive us off the edge
of this flat rock we call Earth.
-Mom.
-What? She said worst!
Now, let's go before we have to
sit behind a scorpulion.
[eelgle call]
[screeching]
[growling]
[snarling]
-Whoo! Humans!
-Grug, pace yourself.
-No need.
Nothing can stop me
from being Eep's biggest fan.
Woo-hoo-hoo!
Wait. Do I smell nachos?
-[Grug yells in excitement]
-Nothing except nachos.
-He never had a chance.
-So how does this all work?
-It's simple. Just like animals.
Two fighters square off
on that rock.
[growling]
First one off the rock loses.
The loser is out.
The winner moves on
to the next round of fights.
That goes on until
two fighters are left.
And the winner of that fight
is the alpha.
DAWN: There's so many different
animals here
and they're all getting along.
-Thanks to the Alphabout truce.
Animal fights are forbidden
at Alphabout.
-Except for the official
animal fights.
-So who's the alpha now?
A ramaconda?
-No, a camelmeleon
who's never lost a brawl.
She's won Alphabout
five times in a row.
Her name is Cleomeleon.
She's down there
mixing it up now.
EEP:
I don't see her.
GRAN:
No one does.
-Until it's too late.
-[crows in fear]
-I'm sorry,
was that a tongue punch?
-And she can turn invisible?
-What?
-Exactly.
But you gotta walk
before you run, Eep.
So focus on your first fight
first, 'cause you're up next.
-Oh. Right.
[dings]
[belching]
-Pardon me.
Future alpha dad comin' through.
-Did I miss it?
-Almost.
Because you were looking
for nachos.
-[yelling] Make that raccobra
a rac-no-bra, Eep!
-Hi. How's it going?
[snarls]
This is my first Alphabout,
so do you go first or do I?
Yah! [screaming]
[Gran grunts in disappointment]
-Why is she running from
a raccobra?
-[yelling] I said rac-no-bra,
not rac-go-bra!
-I can't watch.
Stop watching, eyes!
-Eep, think like a pigator!
-[snarls]
-Think like a pigator.
Pigators go get it.
So I need to go get it!
[grunting]
You want some Eep?
You got some!
[battle cry]
[pants]
[body thuds]
Hey! It worked! Awesome.
[dings]
[screeches]
[cheering]
-That's more like it.
-She won! She won!
-Aw.
-Eep won! And I saw it!
Good work, eyes. Eye-five.
[growls]
-GRAN: Eep!
-EEP: Huh?
-Think like a Chunky!
-Never quit.
[growls]
[grunting]
Hmm.
Ha.
[body thuds]
Yeah! [laughs, cheers]
Boo-yah!
[dings]
[all cheering]
[screeches]
[dings]
[grunting]
[snarls, roars]
-GRAN: Eep!
-EEP: Huh?
-Think like a
no-good crowverine!
EEP:
Hmm.
[yells, grunts]
[snarls]
[Eep grunts]
[growls]
Oh.
[Eep grunts]
-[body thuds]
-[laughing]
[dings]
[cheering]
-[snarls]
-[all gasp]
-Good match. BoBoth sides.
-Yup. Eep got lucky.
Could've gone either way.
[growling]
[dings]
[Eep grunting sharply]
[groans]
-Think like me!
[caws]
-Hyah!
-[winces]
-[yells]
[dings]
-That's my girl!
Woo-hoo!
[cheers]
GRUG:
Nachos!
Yeah,
that's what I'm talking about!
[grunts]
[battle cry]
[bell dings]
-I didn't think I could do this,
but then I totally did this.
-I knew you'd win, Eep.
All that crying and screaming
you may have heard
was an eelgle.
A very upset
and handsome eelgle. Yep.
-[echoing] As nervous as I was,
now I'm twice as pumped.
'Cause Eep is unstoppable!
Whoo!
-Ease up on the celebrating.
It's not over.
The worst is yet to come.
EEP:
So I gotta beat a scorpulion
and then either a ramaconda
or the undefeated alpha
who's invisible?
-Yep.
-Huh.
Well, it was a good run.
Let's head home.
-Not yet.
Because you're more animal
than any of 'em.
And what is it
that animals never do?
-Uh quit?
-Now you're talking
animal words.
-But animals don't talk.
And I'll be quiet now.
-Hey, Dad,
did you see the bearacuda
that looks exactly like you?
Wait, where is Dad?
-Nacho run. Again.
But he's as proud of you
as I am.
And he loves you.
-As much as nachos?
[sighs deeply]
-I wanna say yes, but
PHIL:
Thunk and Sandy will never
find us here, my dear.
So banish them from your mind.
-I will, as soon as you
stop talking about them.
-Right. Let's not talk.
Let's simply listen to the
soothing rush of the waterfall,
our two hearts
beating as one and
[Thunk screaming]
-Thunk screaming?
[screaming continues]
-I thought rolling would be
so much easier than walking.
I've never been more wrong!
[Sandy grunts]
[Thunk screaming]
[groans]
Ooh. Are those banana chips?
Sandy, they've got banana chips.
-[Sandy chuckling]
-[Phil and Hope screaming]
[growls]
[clicking]
[body thuds]
[dings]
[chatters]
-No surprise there.
-I was actually
pulling for the ramaconda.
-Me, too.
But you've got a scorpulion
on your plate first.
[gasps]
[yells]
[yells]
-Ha, ha!
I expected more from you,
Scorpulion.
Yow!
Yep, like that.
-Why did we let her do this?
-Mom, why did you let us
let her do this?
-Keep your pelts on.
Eep knows what to do. I think.
BOTH:
You think?
[Eep panting]
[grunting]
[growls]
[roars]
[grunting]
[yells in slow-motion]
-My turn.
[pants]
[yells] Yah!
[body thuds]
Yeah! [laughs]
[all growling and snarling]
Oh, are you not Eep-ertained?
[dings]
-[cheering]
-Yeah! Woo-hoo!
-Yes!
Oh! Again?
Why do these nachos
keep doing that?
[animals growling]
-Awful lot of stink eye
around here.
Any of you wanna back it up,
I'll be stretching
my legs outside.
Where there's no truce.
-Hey, Gran, could you grab me
some nachos while you're up?
GRAN:
Not bad, Malachi and friends.
But you should've brought
more animals.
Your mistake.
Let's do this.
[grunting]
You wanna talk instead of fight?
Well, that's a new one.
Okay, let's hear it then,
Your Majesty.
Hmm.
[cawing]
Ooh.
And all you animals
feel this way?
[all grunt in affirmation]
Well, what do you know.
You animals
are full of surprises.
Speaking of surprisesGah!
[all gasp]
Ha! Gotcha.
Hey, this is fun.
We should do this more often.
[laughter]
You ready to win?
-I beat every animal
I faced today.
I did things
I didn't think I could do.
So for the first time,
yes, I'm ready to win.
Thanks to you.
-Great. Now I need you to lose.
-What?
-Yeah, what?
-I just had an interesting chat
with some of the animal
leaders outside.
They all agree.
If you win, the animal kingdom
will turn on itself.
The natural animal order
will break down.
Beast peace will cease.
It's already starting.
-[screeching]
-[snarling]
[growling]
Turns out Cleomeleon
isn't just a great fighter.
She's a great leader.
Animals follow her.
But they won't follow you
because humans aren't animals.
Not to them.
So for the good of
all living creatures,
you need to quit.
-Whoa. I didn't think of that.
I definitely don't want
the animal kingdom
or the world to fall apart.
So I guess I'll just
[laughing]
Wow.
Oh, you almost got me, Gran.
I was this close to quitting.
But this is another test.
Animals don't quit,
which means I can't quit.
You taught me that.
So now
I'm gonna go win Alphabout.
-No! Don't listen to then me!
Listen to now me!
-That's a little confusing, Mom.
-Yeah. Gran, you're a real mixed
message mama.
[Gran grunts in anger]
And I'll just
stop talking again.
[bell dings]
-[bell dings]
-[screeching]
-Thanks for being visible,
Cleomeleon.
That's a fair fight.
And a fair fight
is the only way to
Yep, saw that coming.
[groans]
[all gasp]
[groaning]
[panting]
[footsteps approaching]
[snickers]
Not bad.
But I don't need to see you
to beat you.
[grunts]
Yah-ha!
Hyah! [grunting, yelling]
There can only be one alpha.
[grunts]
Huh?
[snarling]
-[growls]
-[roars]
[pants]
[grunts]
[groans, screams]
ALL: [in slow-motion]
Oh, no!
[screams, grunts]
[grunts]
-And once again,
the alpha is Cleomeleon!
[cheering]
[all sigh in relief]
-Well, this is a disaster.
They're out of nachos!
-You almost won it all, Eep.
But losing saved the world.
And that's even better!
So Eep rules! Whoo!
-[growling]
-[all gasp]
Of course, winning would've
stopped
those animals
from attacking us,
so, mixed feelings again.
-Win or lose,
I am always behind you, Eep.
Starting now.
-Weird how you were about to win
the last fight
and then you didn't.
-Yeah.
Fights are weird like that.
-It was almost as if
you realized
it was best if Cleomeleon won
'cause sometimes
you gotta lose to win.
-Yeah, almost.
[growling]
-We've got company.
With tails.
Except the ones without tails.
-Guess these animals
are still itching for a fight.
Let's give 'em a scratch.
-Wouldn't lotion work better?
[growling and screeching]
[chatters]
GRAN:
Well, that's new.
High-fives are a human thing,
but looks like the animals
came to high-five you.
Out of respect, all of them.
That's quite a compliment.
EEP:
Yeah! [grunts]
[Eep laughs]
[all cheer]
Yeah!
[Eep laughing]
Sometimes you gotta lose to win.
-Exactly.
Now, let's go before
-[grunts]
-[snarls]
Malachi!
-[Gran yelling]
-[fists thumping]
[sighs deeply]
PHIL:
It wasn't easy.
But we finally found sanctuary.
And I could lie in it with you
until the end of time.
-Me, too.
Because I'm scared
they'll wake up if I move.
[snoring]
[vocalizing]
[closing theme playing]