The Good Wife s07e02 Episode Script
Innocents
Our fee is standard for a bar attorney $135 per case.
$85 an hour if it goes more than one day.
I don't need a check.
This slip is a CBR cash bond refund.
Sign it and your bail will be refunded to me.
That's how you pay me.
It's up to you whether you want to hire your own attorney.
We're only here for your convenience.
But just so you know, you'll have to wait until after court.
And they might hold you in lockup overnight.
We need to post bond in 45 minutes, or they'll transport you to County for processing.
Male, number 208.
Next up.
Let's go.
Yes, Your Honor.
Uh, will you take my 209? - Male 209? - Yes, ma'am.
Erik.
Right, Erik.
Uh, are you married? Anyone who would be impacted by your denial of bail? No.
I have a dog, a pug.
And how much money can you post if the judge grants bail? Don't you want to know if I did it first? No.
We just want to get you out with the lowest possible bail.
We don't need to argue that you didn't do it.
But I did.
I did do it, and I'd do it again.
Okay, let's not share that with anyone just yet, okay? Male, number 209.
That's us.
State a proffer on allegations and any aggravation for setting bond.
Erik Barsetto, arrested for vandalism, Your Honor.
Went into the Chicago Museum of Fine Arts yesterday and attacked a piece of art with a hammer.
- Really? - Mr.
Barsetto has no criminal record, Your Honor, and strong ties to the community.
Bail should be minimal.
He caused irreparable damage, easily worth tens of thousands of dollars.
He broke some glass, that's all.
There's a videotape of the attack, Your Honor.
- Leave to play it? - It's a scuffed photo, Prosecutor.
I'm sure the defendant won't do it again.
- Actually - Bail is set at $1,500.
- Male, number 210.
- It's gonna take a few hours to process.
- I'll get the security video.
- It's me.
- Yes, I know, on the video.
- No.
In the photo.
The one that I attacked it's me.
I'm here to apologize.
- Okay.
- I said some things.
I was out of line, and I am asking for your forgiveness.
Apology accepted.
But of course, uh you know, the campaign - there's no place for you now.
I - I understand.
I just didn't want to leave things the way they were.
Okay, I guess then that's it.
That's it.
Good-bye, sir.
Eli? Ruth.
What do you need? Nothing.
I've been meaning to call you.
- About? - My candidate.
You come near him again I will destroy you and everything you hold dear.
Ruth, have you seen the movie It Follows? Can't say I have.
- Good? - Modern classic.
Was there some point to that? I just thought you'd like it.
Two-headed campaigns He just came to apologize.
Respectfully, Governor, you could hear the gears turning in his head.
Where are we on polling, Ruth? Hey, do you know any good investigators? Anyone who charges by the hour? Not any good ones.
Marty Pintarello's not bad if you get him in the first half of the day.
Jason Crouse.
Oh, Amanda Marcassin.
Thank you.
- Group 200 to 210 - Here we go.
- coming out.
- Showtime.
Erik, when you said that photo you attacked was of you - Have you seen it? - Not yet.
"Vacation 2002".
My mom took it of me when I was eight.
It's art? And why did you attack it? I'm naked in it.
It's, uh, from a cycle of photos my mom took of my sister and I.
Us at the beach.
Us at a nudist camp.
She's selling them to the Chicago Museum of Fine Arts for their permanent collection.
Uh, Erik, I have to get to my next client, but I'm gonna look into this.
My guess is, the museum won't want to press charges.
They will if they know I'll try again.
Well, let's not tell them that, okay? Hey, Cary.
Thanks for getting back to me.
How's life in the bar attorney trenches? Same as there, only without the fees, resources or muffins.
Um, look, I'm chasing leads on investigators.
I need someone good but cheap.
Hey, we're looking for one, too.
You have anyone promising? You ever hear of Marty Pintarello, Jason Crouse or Amanda Marcassin? No bells rung.
Let me ask around.
I got to run.
- Hey.
What's up? - At the associates meeting, you told us to come to you with any issues.
- Right, yeah.
- Well, we have one.
- Howard Lyman.
- He was the designated partner on the StarCross Insurance case, but he didn't do anything.
Look, I know it's a grind, but a lot of times, you do the grunt work, and the partners swoop in for the glory.
He didn't swoop.
He slept through every meeting.
The one time he bumped into the client in the hallway, he called him David.
The guy's name is Stefan.
Then he fudged the billing and claimed 70% of the work as his own.
All right, thank you for bringing this to me.
Let me get into it.
About the other day Forget it, non-issue.
I want you to know I'm not gay.
No worries.
Seriously.
Excuse me.
- I have some leads on investigators.
- Good.
Who knew it'd be this hard to find someone? Also, I need to call a meeting of the name partners.
On what subject? Howard.
I do a lot of work for the bar attorneys.
I charge $75 an hour, and you'll find you can't do better.
I don't work weekends, but I don't overcharge.
And I'm good.
And I understand you're an ex-cop? - No.
- You're not? Uh-uh.
Oh.
Then I was mistaken.
Uh, how much do you charge by the hour? How much you got? How'd you do that? Killed a man.
- Ah.
On the job? - No.
Just in traffic.
He moved too slow.
Do you have trouble working weekends? Uh, not if you need it.
How long have you been an investigator, Amanda? - Five years.
- You seem young.
Yeah, I go for that.
People don't want to talk to someone overbearing, so I keep it small, simple.
I get results.
From shoe leather, beating the bushes.
Having the contacts.
Do you know Kalinda Sharma? No.
You remind me of her.
I hope that's a good thing.
So, when can you start? Tomorrow, 9:00 a.
m.
Do you have any questions for me? Yeah.
You have a dress code? What? No.
Do a lot of people have dress codes? No, I just like to ask.
Makes it seem like I'm not too easy.
You're not gonna tell me how you did that, are you? Ice tray.
One of those old metal ones.
Cut myself.
- Ow.
- Yeah.
I cried like a baby.
I don't like pain.
When are you hiring? - Immediately.
I'll know in an hour.
- Oh, good.
I hope this works out.
Me, too.
It was nice to meet you, Jason.
You, too.
Take care of that hand.
Oh.
I want him.
He's more expensive.
Than the cop? The cop's terrible.
- No.
Amanda.
- Well, how much more? - Five dollars an hour.
- We can afford that.
He's great.
He's funny.
It's not about being great or funny.
It's It's about who's better.
He's better.
Oh.
- Jason Crouse.
- Jason, it's Alicia Florrick.
Wow, that was fast.
What do you need? I just wanted to thank you for coming in.
But, um, I'm sorry.
I think I'm going in a different direction.
Me, too.
You seem like you'd be a mean boss.
Well, I would be.
Um, but it was very nice meeting you, Jason.
Anytime.
Call us old-fashioned, but we don't like it when people - take hammers to our artwork.
- Given the subject matter a naked photo of my client at eight years old I think you can understand why Erik did it.
And I'm sure you can understand the bad publicity that would result from a prosecution.
All we're asking, Mr.
O'Neal, is that you drop the charges, and we won't take this any If you don't mind, uh, we'd like our law firm to sit in on this.
So sorry that I'm late, but I made the mistake of passing through the Wyeth exhibit.
And, oh, my gosh, it's beautiful.
Hello.
I know you, don't I? Yes, Nancy, we've been on the opposite side of 12 cases.
What is your name again? Alicia.
Well, as I'm sure Mr.
O'Neal suggested, we are willing to forgive and forget this horrible vandalism Of a naked photo of my client.
Renowned piece of art.
But we do want something in return, and that is for your client, Mr.
Barsetto, to publicly embrace his mother's exhibit.
- Excuse me? - We're also gonna need you to pose for some publicity photos next to the picture of yourself.
Not a chance in hell.
Your mother's photos are important - works of art, Erik.
- My mother's photos ruined my life.
- Let's not be melodramatic.
- Oh, melodramatic? Anything I do, anywhere I go If I go on job interview, if I go on a date they Google me, and you know the first thing that comes up? A picture of me naked, so don't talk to be about being melodramatic, please.
You're in a work of art.
I think a lot of people would love to be in a work of art.
Erik? Look, I'm really sorry about blowing up back there.
I know you said you could get me probation, and I Do you want to fight this? - What do you mean? - An emergency injunction against the museum to stop the exhibition.
They've already put up the show.
They'll be panicked and want to compromise.
What about the First Amendment? No.
We go after consent.
We prove that you never gave your mother consent to take those photos.
She can't sell them without it.
- We'll need to find your sister.
- Wendy? Um, I don't I don't know where she is.
- Amanda? - I'm on it.
- If she's gettable, I'll get her.
- Oh.
And check Erik's social media footprint.
I don't want any surprises in court.
I got it.
Don't worry.
Think about it, Erik.
Eli, can I call you back? No.
I'll be quick.
Peter has vetoed my being your chief of staff, so I put together a list of some people I think might be a good fit.
- What? When did he veto? - Today.
I'll do my best to find you someone good, but I'm sure Ruth will have some ideas.
Okay, I get it.
- What? - You're using me.
What? No.
I'll call you back, Eli.
Thank you.
So, how's the campaign going? Really good.
We raised $6 million in hard money and $11 million in soft.
Good.
- How's the job? - Good, too.
- It's like coming right out of law school.
- Ah, freedom.
The best thing that can happen to anyone.
Listen, um Ruth wants to have a camera crew follow you in order to play up the whole "helping the common man" thing.
Well, I don't know how much I'm helping the common man in bond court, but I'm sure she'll paint a pretty picture.
In fact, I want to talk to you about - something.
- No.
- No what? - No to Eli.
Well, then we have a problem.
Look I need Ruth.
And Ruth won't stand for Eli.
And you need me.
And I won't stand without him.
- Oh, come on.
- No, Peter, you want to be Hillary's vice president.
The way to do that is by showing you have a happy family.
A family that overcame your sexual indiscretions because your wife forgave you and continues to forgive you.
You're being used.
I know.
Who isn't? Okay.
Eli's all yours.
_ _ What's that? A client.
His mother took these pictures.
Pictures of him? Of him and his sister.
Here.
What do you think? How old are these kids? Eight and ten.
Did the kids know that she was gonna put them in a book? I think so.
I I don't know.
That's weird.
They're pretty.
I guess that's the point.
- Hi.
- Hi.
- Do you need something? - Yes.
- The - I handed him off to you at bond court.
- Now that it's a money case - It's not a money case.
Alicia, you can tell your client it's about stopping the exhibit, but you know it's about milking the museum for some cash.
- He's an embarrassment.
- I see Howard as more of an inconvenience.
He's rude to the clients.
Well, he can also be charming.
In an old-school way.
Howard sleeps half the day.
Yet he's been swallowing 70% of the associates' billable hours.
There is a mutiny brewing below deck and we are gonna start losing good, young associates because of him.
Look, Howard's personal choices leave something to be desired.
But as far as who takes credit for what around here, seniority rules.
Cary, you take 70% on cases.
I do.
That's why we're here.
- But we do the work.
- No, we don't.
We provide the clout.
The leadership.
But these associates could complain about any of us.
So you need to think about whether this is a professional problem with Howard or a personal one.
Mom.
Erik.
- You don't have to - No, it's okay.
You should have called me.
I didn't think this was about us.
How could it not be? I'm not a kid anymore.
I don't want them out there.
I don't want people gawking at them.
They don't gawk.
They do.
They look at them and they look at me.
Why is this a problem now, Erik? The book has been out for years.
Because it was starting to die down, and now you're putting them in a museum and they're everywhere again.
I'm sorry, Erik, but this is what I do.
You know that.
I-It's like a novel, and you're asking - a novelist to burn her book.
- No, it's not, Mom.
I'm asking my mom to listen to me, that's all.
I'm sorry, Erik.
Let's go.
Erik, did your mother ever ask you - if you wanted to be photographed? - No.
Did you ever tell your mother that you didn't want to be photographed? - Yes.
Sometimes.
- So you didn't consent to these pictures? - No.
- And without consent, - the photographer cannot sell them? - Objection.
I don't think that, uh, Mrs.
Florrick should be allowed to testify.
She has a witness for that.
An innocent mistake, I am sure, Mrs.
Florrick, wasn't it? Yes, Your Honor, my apologies.
- No need.
- Thank you.
Nothing further.
I don't know what's going on with Judge Dunaway.
He seems like he's on medication.
- Maybe we can use it.
- Erik, did you like going to the dentist as a kid? Did I What? Were you a whiner, like I was? I remember my mom taking me just kicking and screaming to the dentist.
Were you the same or did you just plop down in that chair willingly? I guess I didn't want to go.
Or the doctor all those shots? Why did it seem like there were - so many shots? - Objection.
Relevance.
Have you ever read Catcher in the Rye, Counselor? The kids are told to yell, uh, "digression" when someone in the class goes off-topic.
That's how I feel about the-the relevance objection.
Let's let's see where things go before we yell - "digression".
- It's a beautiful story.
I love Catcher in the Rye.
Mr.
Barsetto, you didn't give your consent for the dentist or the doctor.
Your mom gave consent on your behalf, like all parents do for their children.
Likewise, your mom, who nursed you, loved you, gave consent on your behalf for taking the photos, isn't that right? - Yes.
- So, her copyright interest holds.
She can use the photos however she likes.
Your Honor, a parent's right to consent on a child's behalf isn't absolute.
Phyllis Barsetto couldn't have consented to Erik's being raped - or beaten, for example.
- Raped or beaten? I mean, I guess we're in the world of extreme examples.
Yeah, if I wanted to deal in rapes and assaults, I'd still be in the criminal division.
Let's just keep this civil.
Her point is: parental consent on behalf of a child ends where harm begins.
You're arguing that the photographs themselves - are harmful to your client? - Yes, Your Honor.
That is why I would like to introduce - a photograph into evidence.
- Objection.
You don't want me to see the photos? - No, no.
- I assume the child is naked? Yes, Your Honor, he is.
Then I'll review the photos, and for our purposes here, we'll, uh, cover the sensitive parts.
Sheriff? Yes, Ms.
Eastman? What is It Follows? You smiled.
Why did you smile? It's one of Mr.
Gold's favorites.
Eli said I should see it.
Why should I see it? I don't know.
It's about a girl who goes crazy 'cause this thing, this being constantly follows her.
And if it catches her, it'll kill her.
So she can never feel safe.
Nora, I need you to do me a favor.
Be Eli's assistant.
Does he need an assistant? My guess is, he misses you.
Be his assistant and report back to me on everything he does.
Erik, when was this photograph first publicly exhibited? At a gallery when I was ten, and a book later that year.
And what, if any, impact did that photograph have on your life? I got my first e-mail from a pedophile.
Objection, Your Honor.
As to "a pedophile.
" - Strike that.
- Go ahead, Erik.
After the book was published, I'd come out of school, and these men would be waiting for me, and then Web sites about my sister and I started popping up.
And did your mother know about this? - Yes.
- Did you talk about it? No.
I can sum up the Cubs' turnaround in one word: Jews.
You know, all the great GMs are Jewish.
So, Howard, I was just checking in.
- Wanted to see how things are going.
- Yeah.
Whatever is better than great is how they're going.
Billings are up, my, uh, shingles are gone, and those new associates.
Ooh.
You seen the yabos on that Mexican one? Huh? Teresa? She's American, Howard.
Either way, ay, caramba.
So, listen, Howard, I was chatting with the senior partners.
And we think it would be in everyone's best interest if you shifted to emeritus status.
You'll still be on the letterhead, you keep your offices.
You come and go as you please, and, hey, it gives you more time for golf.
So, what do you think about that, Howard? I think you try to move me out, and I'll cut your balls off.
- Howard - You think I'm bluffing, you little gerbil, hmm? Check out a guy named Ari Weir at the firm I used to work for.
Only don't stare at his eye patch too long, okay? So, Erik, you say that this this photo destroyed your life, and - not a day goes you don't think about it? - That's right.
So, how do you explain, then, these images taken from your social media site? - What the hell? - It looks like you're having a pretty good time.
Well, I was out drinking with college friends.
And this one? I mean what is that, Hawaii? You said there were no problems on his Facebook page.
And there weren't.
I don't know how they got these other photos.
They Googled him.
When I say "Facebook," I don't just mean Facebook I mean the entire Internet.
I'll make a note of that.
Amanda, we got screwed in court.
It won't happen again.
Okay.
Where are we on the Wendy front? The sister? I have a lead or two.
Hey, should I be billing you directly? Yes.
So Erik enjoyed the photo shoots? I thought he did.
He was laughing.
You didn't force him to do anything? No.
The kids were just running around.
I'm a mom.
Look, I know we live in a culture saturated with porn and we're all highly sensitive, but I hate that that photo is covered up like it's dirty.
It isn't dirty.
The nudes of Michelangelo are not dirty.
The nudes of Edward Weston are not dirty.
But as soon as you slap brown paper on it, it's dirty.
My son is beautiful.
My daughter is beautiful.
And I won't give in to people who want to paint them with a prurient brush.
Thank you.
You say you gave your consent as your children's mother? - That's right.
- But previously you said, "When I was with them, behind the camera, "I was an artist, not a parent.
They were subjects, not my children".
I was making a point.
States of mind.
Mother, photographer.
But they're not mutually exclusive in any real sense.
Even though you drew that distinction? I find this insulting.
I'm hardly the first artist to use my children as subjects.
Matisse, uh, Lucian Freud, Newman, Li Zhuangping.
You'd never ask a male artist to explain himself like this.
I would if he'd taken nude pictures of his kids.
Here's the plan for the first two weeks.
Whose plan? Peter's? No.
Yours.
Your pathway to rehabilitation.
Do I really need it? You were St.
Alicia until your election scandal.
Now people don't know what you are.
They want to love you again, - but they need to know you're contrite.
- Oh, God.
- I hate going through this again.
- Well, you don't have to.
I do it for you.
But I need you to talk to someone you won't want to.
- Frank Landau, Democratic Chair.
- Eli, he's the one - who screwed me over.
- I know, but you're gonna be a bigger man than him.
You're going to apologize to him.
Alicia Florrick.
I'll be right there.
- I have to go to court.
- Alicia, swallow your pride now, and you will destroy him later.
You apologize, and he won't see you coming, and I promise you, in four months' time, you'll be kicking his teeth in.
Drop the metaphors, Eli, what do you mean? You'll be forcing him out of his job, embarrassing him, making him come to you to apologize.
_ He's a Muslim? That's news to me I thought he was Jewish.
He converted last year after a heart attack.
Sorry.
Afternoon prayers.
So, I've been giving this matter a great deal of thought.
Your Honor, we're still trying to locate Mr.
Barsetto's sister for her testimony.
We actually found Wendy Barsetto, and she tells a very different story than her brother.
We have this affidavit.
Mm.
This reinforces my conclusion that Mrs.
Barsetto's consent is and-and should be binding.
She was well within her parental rights to substitute her judgment for that of her children.
As a result, the preliminary injunction is lifted, the museum may reopen the exhibit immediately.
- Your Honor - Mrs.
Florrick, - my decision is final.
- Actually, we understand that, Your Honor.
We have another matter.
We request a separate ruling on the right of publicity.
- Excuse me? - Consent gets them the right to show the artwork, but that doesn't mean they can use the images of Erik for commercial purposes.
Our client has his own right of publicity which means nothing in the gift shop can have Erik's image on it.
No backpacks, mouse pads, key chains We don't make a profit unless we have the gift shop revenue.
Okay.
You are correct on the law, so we will go over each item one at a time, and, uh, I will rule on each one.
Thank you.
- Nice save.
- I have my moments.
To what do I owe the pleasure? I'm here to apologize, Mr.
Landau.
I'm sorry I made a stink about the party withdrawing its support for my campaign.
I understand it had to happen.
Well, you're new to this, Alicia.
There's a learning curve we've all had to scale it.
- I accept your apology.
- Thank you, sir.
We'd like to put this all behind us, Frank, for Alicia's sake as much as Peter's campaign.
- I think that's wise.
- We're hoping you'll consider putting out a letter of support for Alicia clearing her of any wrongdoing in the election scandal.
I can do you one better.
Alicia, how would you like a post on the election board? Nothing will show we believe you're innocent more than a seat on the board that found you guilty.
Well, thank you, Frank.
This-this means a lot.
- Alicia? - Actually, Eli, can you give us a minute? Oh, anything you say to Alicia, you can say in front of me.
We'll be right out.
- Yes? - The first vote on the election board, I need you to vote "no.
" Why? Because I'm asking you.
Well, what's the vote? Doesn't matter.
I need you to vote "no.
" I'm working for you now.
You are? Why is that? I don't like working for Ms.
Eastman.
Okay.
What'd he say? I'm on the board.
That's it? Come on, what'd he really say? Nothing.
I don't know what happened.
I had a lead on her.
Wendy was living in Chicago.
All they did was look online.
That's not all they did.
Look, if you want to fire me, fire me.
But I am the best investigator in town.
You're fired.
I put my heart and soul into this case.
Fired.
I don't need you.
Go to hell.
Yes, Mr.
Crouse.
It's Alicia Florrick, do you remember me? Oh, I remember you.
Backup singer in Prince's band? Right.
I was wondering if you were available for work.
Can I call you back? Sure.
You have a very impressive résumé, Mr.
Crouse.
Well, I'm a very impressive person.
Would you give me a second? I just got a call from Judge Terzzi's clerk.
The Van Persie trial we're not supposed to start until next month.
- Right.
- He moved it up.
To Monday.
He Why? I don't know.
Someone talked to him.
The hell are you doing? Well, I was about to squeeze lemon juice on Susan Sarandon's bare torso.
You called Judge Terzzi, huh? Got my case moved up four weeks? Nico and I are old friends.
Had a few beers, I asked him to expedite Yeah, yeah, expedite it.
We're not even close to being ready.
- Then get on your horse, Cary.
- You push back on the emeritus thing by screwing over a client? Clients don't like to wait for their day in court.
They get a little antsy.
This is how we play in the big leagues, buddy.
You don't want to fight me, Howard.
Actually I do.
All right, let's go.
Sit down.
You may commence petty fighting over tchotchkes.
Uh, these are all items that will be sold in the museum store, Your Honor, most of them commercial, with no artistic value.
Like this mouse pad, for example.
Your Honor, I've often found mouse pads to be works of art.
- They're tiny canvases - Save it.
They're out.
Though I doubt the museum's gonna lose a lot of money there.
- What's next? - The exhibit catalogue.
No, books are not technically items of commerce.
- It's more like a magazine.
- Books and magazines are in.
Next.
- Uh, T-shirts.
- Oh.
- Big ticket item.
- Are you saying that fashion - is not art? - This isn't fashion.
It's sold in a souvenir store.
The Supreme Court found T-shirts to be protected expressive works.
Um, the fine arts exception to the right of publicity doesn't apply if the item is used as advertisement.
Well, what is that T-shirt advertising? - The museum.
- T-shirts with the name of the museum are out, T-shirts with images are in.
Everybody wins.
Next.
Your Honor, I think that we can skip "next," if I may just recall Erik Barsetto to the stand.
Mr.
Barsetto, this photo where was it taken? Kennebago Lake.
Thank you.
That's all.
Judge, I don't see the relevance.
- No, but I feel it coming.
- Kennebago Lake is in Maine, which does not recognize a right of publicity.
How many of these photos of you were taken in Maine? All of them.
Well, that makes my job easier.
Maine law controls, the museum can sell it all.
Even the mouse pads.
But, Your Honor, you just said they were out.
You heard me: it's all in! What the hell was that about? I have no idea.
What did we do? It's not you.
- He's hungry.
- What do you mean? Ramadan.
He's been fasting all day.
So what do we do? Catch him in the morning.
He'll have more patience.
Thank you.
I'm sorry I didn't hire you immediately.
Hey, I'm a big believer in second chances.
What are you gonna do here? No idea.
The exhibit's about to open, and we're out of witnesses.
I might have someone.
Mr.
Wilson, do you consider these images - to be child pornography? - Objection.
Your Honor, this man's opinion is not relevant.
Your Honor, Mr.
Wilson is an expert in the field.
- In what way? - Mr.
Wilson, were you convicted of possessing child pornography? - Yes.
- And were you a member of online communities where you advised other people how Yeah, I-I get the picture.
Ms.
Crozier, your objection is overruled.
Illinois Evidentiary Rule 702.
He's an expert.
Mr.
Wilson, are you familiar with these photos? Absolutely.
My online friends and I have traded them back and forth for years.
For what purpose? Personal sexual gratification.
And, to your mind, are they distinctive from the photos you were convicted of possessing? No.
Same thing, only better.
Your Honor, we submit that these photos are essentially child pornography, and, as such, consent doesn't matter, nor does any fine arts exception they cannot be displayed.
This is a smear campaign.
- Phyllis Barsetto - This is not a smear campaign.
- is a well-respected artist.
- This is about child porno - No further questions.
- No further questions.
You really see no difference between, uh, child pornography and Ms.
Barsetto's work? Well, they're artsier.
But I still use them.
I'm from Michigan, so this is all just a little much for me.
Wh-What else do you use, sir, for-for the purposes of your self-gratification? - Um, anything from a normal bookshop? - Well, I don't really know what's in a normal bookshop these days.
I've been in prison for the last 11 years.
How about Lolita? No.
Gap Kids? Simply donating to pro-choice candidates isn't enough anymore.
We need to think much bigger.
Is that your polite way of saying we should launch a super PAC, Diane? Well, it's a much more flexible structure.
Good afternoon, ladies.
- Howard.
- Howard Lyman.
And may I say how honored we are to be having this meeting with the leadership of Emily's World? Emily's List.
Of course.
So, Diane, are we gonna help these ladies kick some pro-lifer butt in 2016? Uh, Howard, may I have a moment? Cary tried to keep me out of this meeting.
I will not be sidelined.
Cary's not involved with this group.
Don't enable him, Diane.
And may I say, ladies, I think abortion is great.
You told Howard not to attend my meeting with Emily's List, knowing he'd show up and make a fool of himself.
No.
I told him not to show up.
You two have to quit this.
Now! And set up a call with Abe Ehrling at The Ledger.
We need to do a story on Alicia starting her own firm, working as a bar attorney.
"Defender of the Underdog" sort of thing.
Nice try, Eli, but no.
You know voters hate defense lawyers.
They keep the bad guys out of jail.
I won't let you sabotage the campaign.
- What do you want me to do? - I control the message.
Every article, every interview goes through me.
And you're on probation.
Eli.
I'm supposed to keep tabs on you for Ms.
Eastman.
Tell her everything you're doing.
Really? Titian's Venus of Urbino.
It's considered the most erotic painting of all time.
Look at the eye contact she makes with the viewer.
And it hangs in the Uffizi.
No one would claim this wasn't art.
- That's correct.
- But it is an adult woman, and your work depicts children.
The history of art is littered with depictions of nude children.
Angels, Greek gods, Botticelli and most of the Renaissance artists In Veronese's painting, the naked infant Jesus is even cradling his penis.
You say that your work has more in common with Yes.
I'm sorry, Erik, if they caused you pain, but they're not pornography.
That's a criminal statute.
Have criminal charges been filed? That's a good question.
Uh, have-have they? - No, Your Honor.
- Young man, are you intending to go down to the State's Attorney's Office and swear out a criminal complaint against your mother? Okay, then.
We have a ruling.
This court isn't gonna find that Mrs.
Barsetto's photos are child pornography.
The injunction expires instanter.
The exhibit reopens tomorrow as planned.
Whew! I've got another offer.
May I ask from whom? No.
But they want me to be exclusive, Are you leveraging me to get a better deal from them? I am.
I don't have any wiggle room, Mr.
Crouse.
What are they offering you? Wow.
That will put me in the bottom third of the P.
I.
scale.
Take a chance.
Might be fun.
Let me think about it.
See if you can up the other offer? Yeah.
I'll call you.
It wasn't a yes.
Okay, well, let's turn to me.
Okay.
I'd like to renegotiate my salary.
- You don't have a salary.
- I know.
Which is why I'd like to negotiate it.
You two need to make peace.
Or at the very least, stop making war.
We are not leaving this room until we figure out a way to put aside the differences and work together.
Okay.
- Fine with me.
- Absolutely not.
He sat me down at lunch and told me I was worthless.
- I'm sure he didn't say that.
- Diane, there's no common ground, okay? It's either him or me.
Cary goes or I do.
Did he just issue the easiest ultimatum in history? Mr.
Crouse, how are you? Good.
Thank you, ma'am.
So, I've got a counteroffer.
And you're wondering if I'll beat it.
Yeah.
It's $200 an hour.
Okay.
$250.
But that's it.
You need to work exclusively, and, uh, I need an answer now.
Phyllis, you testified in court about how much Erik loved what he did, how much he helped you after school, on weekends, vacations.
Some kids play sports or get a job.
But Erik didn't need a job.
He already had one as your model.
- He enjoyed it.
- You don't need There were no work papers filed, and our client wasn't paid anything.
You're going after child labor? - Seriously? - Erik worked four hours a day, five days a week per photo.
That's over 200 photos.
Throw in compounded interest, - double it all in liquidated damages - Mom, we could've skipped all this.
We still could skip it if you'll just give me the photos.
Erik the photos are on the Internet.
You'll never truly get back what you lost.
But this money, it can help you start the next part of your life.
Ruth.
Oh, Governor.
- I just got a call from Frank Landau.
- Yes.
Eli went rogue.
His assistant just told me.
Landau's supporting Alicia.
No, I d I don't think so.
Yes, he is.
He said that Eli arranged it.
- Mr.
Governor, I'm - I think it's rather good work on Eli's part, don't you think? I do think.
Good.
Give him a call and tell him that.
I don't want any bad blood.
When he does well, I want you to congratulate him; when you do well, I want him to congratulate you.
Give him a call.
Willingly.
Good.
$32,000.
That's not bad for a week's worth.
$16,000.
I split it fifty-fifty with Lucca.
So let's see, $400 to Amanda, $160 to Jason, $80 to me.
I'll get that.
Might be a new client.
I will get it.
- Hey.
- Hey.
So are we negotiating? That depends.
What do I have to beat now? $90 an hour.
No exclusivity.
$95 an hour, but that's it.
No more using me as a stalking horse.
Take it or leave it.
Take it.
$85 an hour if it goes more than one day.
I don't need a check.
This slip is a CBR cash bond refund.
Sign it and your bail will be refunded to me.
That's how you pay me.
It's up to you whether you want to hire your own attorney.
We're only here for your convenience.
But just so you know, you'll have to wait until after court.
And they might hold you in lockup overnight.
We need to post bond in 45 minutes, or they'll transport you to County for processing.
Male, number 208.
Next up.
Let's go.
Yes, Your Honor.
Uh, will you take my 209? - Male 209? - Yes, ma'am.
Erik.
Right, Erik.
Uh, are you married? Anyone who would be impacted by your denial of bail? No.
I have a dog, a pug.
And how much money can you post if the judge grants bail? Don't you want to know if I did it first? No.
We just want to get you out with the lowest possible bail.
We don't need to argue that you didn't do it.
But I did.
I did do it, and I'd do it again.
Okay, let's not share that with anyone just yet, okay? Male, number 209.
That's us.
State a proffer on allegations and any aggravation for setting bond.
Erik Barsetto, arrested for vandalism, Your Honor.
Went into the Chicago Museum of Fine Arts yesterday and attacked a piece of art with a hammer.
- Really? - Mr.
Barsetto has no criminal record, Your Honor, and strong ties to the community.
Bail should be minimal.
He caused irreparable damage, easily worth tens of thousands of dollars.
He broke some glass, that's all.
There's a videotape of the attack, Your Honor.
- Leave to play it? - It's a scuffed photo, Prosecutor.
I'm sure the defendant won't do it again.
- Actually - Bail is set at $1,500.
- Male, number 210.
- It's gonna take a few hours to process.
- I'll get the security video.
- It's me.
- Yes, I know, on the video.
- No.
In the photo.
The one that I attacked it's me.
I'm here to apologize.
- Okay.
- I said some things.
I was out of line, and I am asking for your forgiveness.
Apology accepted.
But of course, uh you know, the campaign - there's no place for you now.
I - I understand.
I just didn't want to leave things the way they were.
Okay, I guess then that's it.
That's it.
Good-bye, sir.
Eli? Ruth.
What do you need? Nothing.
I've been meaning to call you.
- About? - My candidate.
You come near him again I will destroy you and everything you hold dear.
Ruth, have you seen the movie It Follows? Can't say I have.
- Good? - Modern classic.
Was there some point to that? I just thought you'd like it.
Two-headed campaigns He just came to apologize.
Respectfully, Governor, you could hear the gears turning in his head.
Where are we on polling, Ruth? Hey, do you know any good investigators? Anyone who charges by the hour? Not any good ones.
Marty Pintarello's not bad if you get him in the first half of the day.
Jason Crouse.
Oh, Amanda Marcassin.
Thank you.
- Group 200 to 210 - Here we go.
- coming out.
- Showtime.
Erik, when you said that photo you attacked was of you - Have you seen it? - Not yet.
"Vacation 2002".
My mom took it of me when I was eight.
It's art? And why did you attack it? I'm naked in it.
It's, uh, from a cycle of photos my mom took of my sister and I.
Us at the beach.
Us at a nudist camp.
She's selling them to the Chicago Museum of Fine Arts for their permanent collection.
Uh, Erik, I have to get to my next client, but I'm gonna look into this.
My guess is, the museum won't want to press charges.
They will if they know I'll try again.
Well, let's not tell them that, okay? Hey, Cary.
Thanks for getting back to me.
How's life in the bar attorney trenches? Same as there, only without the fees, resources or muffins.
Um, look, I'm chasing leads on investigators.
I need someone good but cheap.
Hey, we're looking for one, too.
You have anyone promising? You ever hear of Marty Pintarello, Jason Crouse or Amanda Marcassin? No bells rung.
Let me ask around.
I got to run.
- Hey.
What's up? - At the associates meeting, you told us to come to you with any issues.
- Right, yeah.
- Well, we have one.
- Howard Lyman.
- He was the designated partner on the StarCross Insurance case, but he didn't do anything.
Look, I know it's a grind, but a lot of times, you do the grunt work, and the partners swoop in for the glory.
He didn't swoop.
He slept through every meeting.
The one time he bumped into the client in the hallway, he called him David.
The guy's name is Stefan.
Then he fudged the billing and claimed 70% of the work as his own.
All right, thank you for bringing this to me.
Let me get into it.
About the other day Forget it, non-issue.
I want you to know I'm not gay.
No worries.
Seriously.
Excuse me.
- I have some leads on investigators.
- Good.
Who knew it'd be this hard to find someone? Also, I need to call a meeting of the name partners.
On what subject? Howard.
I do a lot of work for the bar attorneys.
I charge $75 an hour, and you'll find you can't do better.
I don't work weekends, but I don't overcharge.
And I'm good.
And I understand you're an ex-cop? - No.
- You're not? Uh-uh.
Oh.
Then I was mistaken.
Uh, how much do you charge by the hour? How much you got? How'd you do that? Killed a man.
- Ah.
On the job? - No.
Just in traffic.
He moved too slow.
Do you have trouble working weekends? Uh, not if you need it.
How long have you been an investigator, Amanda? - Five years.
- You seem young.
Yeah, I go for that.
People don't want to talk to someone overbearing, so I keep it small, simple.
I get results.
From shoe leather, beating the bushes.
Having the contacts.
Do you know Kalinda Sharma? No.
You remind me of her.
I hope that's a good thing.
So, when can you start? Tomorrow, 9:00 a.
m.
Do you have any questions for me? Yeah.
You have a dress code? What? No.
Do a lot of people have dress codes? No, I just like to ask.
Makes it seem like I'm not too easy.
You're not gonna tell me how you did that, are you? Ice tray.
One of those old metal ones.
Cut myself.
- Ow.
- Yeah.
I cried like a baby.
I don't like pain.
When are you hiring? - Immediately.
I'll know in an hour.
- Oh, good.
I hope this works out.
Me, too.
It was nice to meet you, Jason.
You, too.
Take care of that hand.
Oh.
I want him.
He's more expensive.
Than the cop? The cop's terrible.
- No.
Amanda.
- Well, how much more? - Five dollars an hour.
- We can afford that.
He's great.
He's funny.
It's not about being great or funny.
It's It's about who's better.
He's better.
Oh.
- Jason Crouse.
- Jason, it's Alicia Florrick.
Wow, that was fast.
What do you need? I just wanted to thank you for coming in.
But, um, I'm sorry.
I think I'm going in a different direction.
Me, too.
You seem like you'd be a mean boss.
Well, I would be.
Um, but it was very nice meeting you, Jason.
Anytime.
Call us old-fashioned, but we don't like it when people - take hammers to our artwork.
- Given the subject matter a naked photo of my client at eight years old I think you can understand why Erik did it.
And I'm sure you can understand the bad publicity that would result from a prosecution.
All we're asking, Mr.
O'Neal, is that you drop the charges, and we won't take this any If you don't mind, uh, we'd like our law firm to sit in on this.
So sorry that I'm late, but I made the mistake of passing through the Wyeth exhibit.
And, oh, my gosh, it's beautiful.
Hello.
I know you, don't I? Yes, Nancy, we've been on the opposite side of 12 cases.
What is your name again? Alicia.
Well, as I'm sure Mr.
O'Neal suggested, we are willing to forgive and forget this horrible vandalism Of a naked photo of my client.
Renowned piece of art.
But we do want something in return, and that is for your client, Mr.
Barsetto, to publicly embrace his mother's exhibit.
- Excuse me? - We're also gonna need you to pose for some publicity photos next to the picture of yourself.
Not a chance in hell.
Your mother's photos are important - works of art, Erik.
- My mother's photos ruined my life.
- Let's not be melodramatic.
- Oh, melodramatic? Anything I do, anywhere I go If I go on job interview, if I go on a date they Google me, and you know the first thing that comes up? A picture of me naked, so don't talk to be about being melodramatic, please.
You're in a work of art.
I think a lot of people would love to be in a work of art.
Erik? Look, I'm really sorry about blowing up back there.
I know you said you could get me probation, and I Do you want to fight this? - What do you mean? - An emergency injunction against the museum to stop the exhibition.
They've already put up the show.
They'll be panicked and want to compromise.
What about the First Amendment? No.
We go after consent.
We prove that you never gave your mother consent to take those photos.
She can't sell them without it.
- We'll need to find your sister.
- Wendy? Um, I don't I don't know where she is.
- Amanda? - I'm on it.
- If she's gettable, I'll get her.
- Oh.
And check Erik's social media footprint.
I don't want any surprises in court.
I got it.
Don't worry.
Think about it, Erik.
Eli, can I call you back? No.
I'll be quick.
Peter has vetoed my being your chief of staff, so I put together a list of some people I think might be a good fit.
- What? When did he veto? - Today.
I'll do my best to find you someone good, but I'm sure Ruth will have some ideas.
Okay, I get it.
- What? - You're using me.
What? No.
I'll call you back, Eli.
Thank you.
So, how's the campaign going? Really good.
We raised $6 million in hard money and $11 million in soft.
Good.
- How's the job? - Good, too.
- It's like coming right out of law school.
- Ah, freedom.
The best thing that can happen to anyone.
Listen, um Ruth wants to have a camera crew follow you in order to play up the whole "helping the common man" thing.
Well, I don't know how much I'm helping the common man in bond court, but I'm sure she'll paint a pretty picture.
In fact, I want to talk to you about - something.
- No.
- No what? - No to Eli.
Well, then we have a problem.
Look I need Ruth.
And Ruth won't stand for Eli.
And you need me.
And I won't stand without him.
- Oh, come on.
- No, Peter, you want to be Hillary's vice president.
The way to do that is by showing you have a happy family.
A family that overcame your sexual indiscretions because your wife forgave you and continues to forgive you.
You're being used.
I know.
Who isn't? Okay.
Eli's all yours.
_ _ What's that? A client.
His mother took these pictures.
Pictures of him? Of him and his sister.
Here.
What do you think? How old are these kids? Eight and ten.
Did the kids know that she was gonna put them in a book? I think so.
I I don't know.
That's weird.
They're pretty.
I guess that's the point.
- Hi.
- Hi.
- Do you need something? - Yes.
- The - I handed him off to you at bond court.
- Now that it's a money case - It's not a money case.
Alicia, you can tell your client it's about stopping the exhibit, but you know it's about milking the museum for some cash.
- He's an embarrassment.
- I see Howard as more of an inconvenience.
He's rude to the clients.
Well, he can also be charming.
In an old-school way.
Howard sleeps half the day.
Yet he's been swallowing 70% of the associates' billable hours.
There is a mutiny brewing below deck and we are gonna start losing good, young associates because of him.
Look, Howard's personal choices leave something to be desired.
But as far as who takes credit for what around here, seniority rules.
Cary, you take 70% on cases.
I do.
That's why we're here.
- But we do the work.
- No, we don't.
We provide the clout.
The leadership.
But these associates could complain about any of us.
So you need to think about whether this is a professional problem with Howard or a personal one.
Mom.
Erik.
- You don't have to - No, it's okay.
You should have called me.
I didn't think this was about us.
How could it not be? I'm not a kid anymore.
I don't want them out there.
I don't want people gawking at them.
They don't gawk.
They do.
They look at them and they look at me.
Why is this a problem now, Erik? The book has been out for years.
Because it was starting to die down, and now you're putting them in a museum and they're everywhere again.
I'm sorry, Erik, but this is what I do.
You know that.
I-It's like a novel, and you're asking - a novelist to burn her book.
- No, it's not, Mom.
I'm asking my mom to listen to me, that's all.
I'm sorry, Erik.
Let's go.
Erik, did your mother ever ask you - if you wanted to be photographed? - No.
Did you ever tell your mother that you didn't want to be photographed? - Yes.
Sometimes.
- So you didn't consent to these pictures? - No.
- And without consent, - the photographer cannot sell them? - Objection.
I don't think that, uh, Mrs.
Florrick should be allowed to testify.
She has a witness for that.
An innocent mistake, I am sure, Mrs.
Florrick, wasn't it? Yes, Your Honor, my apologies.
- No need.
- Thank you.
Nothing further.
I don't know what's going on with Judge Dunaway.
He seems like he's on medication.
- Maybe we can use it.
- Erik, did you like going to the dentist as a kid? Did I What? Were you a whiner, like I was? I remember my mom taking me just kicking and screaming to the dentist.
Were you the same or did you just plop down in that chair willingly? I guess I didn't want to go.
Or the doctor all those shots? Why did it seem like there were - so many shots? - Objection.
Relevance.
Have you ever read Catcher in the Rye, Counselor? The kids are told to yell, uh, "digression" when someone in the class goes off-topic.
That's how I feel about the-the relevance objection.
Let's let's see where things go before we yell - "digression".
- It's a beautiful story.
I love Catcher in the Rye.
Mr.
Barsetto, you didn't give your consent for the dentist or the doctor.
Your mom gave consent on your behalf, like all parents do for their children.
Likewise, your mom, who nursed you, loved you, gave consent on your behalf for taking the photos, isn't that right? - Yes.
- So, her copyright interest holds.
She can use the photos however she likes.
Your Honor, a parent's right to consent on a child's behalf isn't absolute.
Phyllis Barsetto couldn't have consented to Erik's being raped - or beaten, for example.
- Raped or beaten? I mean, I guess we're in the world of extreme examples.
Yeah, if I wanted to deal in rapes and assaults, I'd still be in the criminal division.
Let's just keep this civil.
Her point is: parental consent on behalf of a child ends where harm begins.
You're arguing that the photographs themselves - are harmful to your client? - Yes, Your Honor.
That is why I would like to introduce - a photograph into evidence.
- Objection.
You don't want me to see the photos? - No, no.
- I assume the child is naked? Yes, Your Honor, he is.
Then I'll review the photos, and for our purposes here, we'll, uh, cover the sensitive parts.
Sheriff? Yes, Ms.
Eastman? What is It Follows? You smiled.
Why did you smile? It's one of Mr.
Gold's favorites.
Eli said I should see it.
Why should I see it? I don't know.
It's about a girl who goes crazy 'cause this thing, this being constantly follows her.
And if it catches her, it'll kill her.
So she can never feel safe.
Nora, I need you to do me a favor.
Be Eli's assistant.
Does he need an assistant? My guess is, he misses you.
Be his assistant and report back to me on everything he does.
Erik, when was this photograph first publicly exhibited? At a gallery when I was ten, and a book later that year.
And what, if any, impact did that photograph have on your life? I got my first e-mail from a pedophile.
Objection, Your Honor.
As to "a pedophile.
" - Strike that.
- Go ahead, Erik.
After the book was published, I'd come out of school, and these men would be waiting for me, and then Web sites about my sister and I started popping up.
And did your mother know about this? - Yes.
- Did you talk about it? No.
I can sum up the Cubs' turnaround in one word: Jews.
You know, all the great GMs are Jewish.
So, Howard, I was just checking in.
- Wanted to see how things are going.
- Yeah.
Whatever is better than great is how they're going.
Billings are up, my, uh, shingles are gone, and those new associates.
Ooh.
You seen the yabos on that Mexican one? Huh? Teresa? She's American, Howard.
Either way, ay, caramba.
So, listen, Howard, I was chatting with the senior partners.
And we think it would be in everyone's best interest if you shifted to emeritus status.
You'll still be on the letterhead, you keep your offices.
You come and go as you please, and, hey, it gives you more time for golf.
So, what do you think about that, Howard? I think you try to move me out, and I'll cut your balls off.
- Howard - You think I'm bluffing, you little gerbil, hmm? Check out a guy named Ari Weir at the firm I used to work for.
Only don't stare at his eye patch too long, okay? So, Erik, you say that this this photo destroyed your life, and - not a day goes you don't think about it? - That's right.
So, how do you explain, then, these images taken from your social media site? - What the hell? - It looks like you're having a pretty good time.
Well, I was out drinking with college friends.
And this one? I mean what is that, Hawaii? You said there were no problems on his Facebook page.
And there weren't.
I don't know how they got these other photos.
They Googled him.
When I say "Facebook," I don't just mean Facebook I mean the entire Internet.
I'll make a note of that.
Amanda, we got screwed in court.
It won't happen again.
Okay.
Where are we on the Wendy front? The sister? I have a lead or two.
Hey, should I be billing you directly? Yes.
So Erik enjoyed the photo shoots? I thought he did.
He was laughing.
You didn't force him to do anything? No.
The kids were just running around.
I'm a mom.
Look, I know we live in a culture saturated with porn and we're all highly sensitive, but I hate that that photo is covered up like it's dirty.
It isn't dirty.
The nudes of Michelangelo are not dirty.
The nudes of Edward Weston are not dirty.
But as soon as you slap brown paper on it, it's dirty.
My son is beautiful.
My daughter is beautiful.
And I won't give in to people who want to paint them with a prurient brush.
Thank you.
You say you gave your consent as your children's mother? - That's right.
- But previously you said, "When I was with them, behind the camera, "I was an artist, not a parent.
They were subjects, not my children".
I was making a point.
States of mind.
Mother, photographer.
But they're not mutually exclusive in any real sense.
Even though you drew that distinction? I find this insulting.
I'm hardly the first artist to use my children as subjects.
Matisse, uh, Lucian Freud, Newman, Li Zhuangping.
You'd never ask a male artist to explain himself like this.
I would if he'd taken nude pictures of his kids.
Here's the plan for the first two weeks.
Whose plan? Peter's? No.
Yours.
Your pathway to rehabilitation.
Do I really need it? You were St.
Alicia until your election scandal.
Now people don't know what you are.
They want to love you again, - but they need to know you're contrite.
- Oh, God.
- I hate going through this again.
- Well, you don't have to.
I do it for you.
But I need you to talk to someone you won't want to.
- Frank Landau, Democratic Chair.
- Eli, he's the one - who screwed me over.
- I know, but you're gonna be a bigger man than him.
You're going to apologize to him.
Alicia Florrick.
I'll be right there.
- I have to go to court.
- Alicia, swallow your pride now, and you will destroy him later.
You apologize, and he won't see you coming, and I promise you, in four months' time, you'll be kicking his teeth in.
Drop the metaphors, Eli, what do you mean? You'll be forcing him out of his job, embarrassing him, making him come to you to apologize.
_ He's a Muslim? That's news to me I thought he was Jewish.
He converted last year after a heart attack.
Sorry.
Afternoon prayers.
So, I've been giving this matter a great deal of thought.
Your Honor, we're still trying to locate Mr.
Barsetto's sister for her testimony.
We actually found Wendy Barsetto, and she tells a very different story than her brother.
We have this affidavit.
Mm.
This reinforces my conclusion that Mrs.
Barsetto's consent is and-and should be binding.
She was well within her parental rights to substitute her judgment for that of her children.
As a result, the preliminary injunction is lifted, the museum may reopen the exhibit immediately.
- Your Honor - Mrs.
Florrick, - my decision is final.
- Actually, we understand that, Your Honor.
We have another matter.
We request a separate ruling on the right of publicity.
- Excuse me? - Consent gets them the right to show the artwork, but that doesn't mean they can use the images of Erik for commercial purposes.
Our client has his own right of publicity which means nothing in the gift shop can have Erik's image on it.
No backpacks, mouse pads, key chains We don't make a profit unless we have the gift shop revenue.
Okay.
You are correct on the law, so we will go over each item one at a time, and, uh, I will rule on each one.
Thank you.
- Nice save.
- I have my moments.
To what do I owe the pleasure? I'm here to apologize, Mr.
Landau.
I'm sorry I made a stink about the party withdrawing its support for my campaign.
I understand it had to happen.
Well, you're new to this, Alicia.
There's a learning curve we've all had to scale it.
- I accept your apology.
- Thank you, sir.
We'd like to put this all behind us, Frank, for Alicia's sake as much as Peter's campaign.
- I think that's wise.
- We're hoping you'll consider putting out a letter of support for Alicia clearing her of any wrongdoing in the election scandal.
I can do you one better.
Alicia, how would you like a post on the election board? Nothing will show we believe you're innocent more than a seat on the board that found you guilty.
Well, thank you, Frank.
This-this means a lot.
- Alicia? - Actually, Eli, can you give us a minute? Oh, anything you say to Alicia, you can say in front of me.
We'll be right out.
- Yes? - The first vote on the election board, I need you to vote "no.
" Why? Because I'm asking you.
Well, what's the vote? Doesn't matter.
I need you to vote "no.
" I'm working for you now.
You are? Why is that? I don't like working for Ms.
Eastman.
Okay.
What'd he say? I'm on the board.
That's it? Come on, what'd he really say? Nothing.
I don't know what happened.
I had a lead on her.
Wendy was living in Chicago.
All they did was look online.
That's not all they did.
Look, if you want to fire me, fire me.
But I am the best investigator in town.
You're fired.
I put my heart and soul into this case.
Fired.
I don't need you.
Go to hell.
Yes, Mr.
Crouse.
It's Alicia Florrick, do you remember me? Oh, I remember you.
Backup singer in Prince's band? Right.
I was wondering if you were available for work.
Can I call you back? Sure.
You have a very impressive résumé, Mr.
Crouse.
Well, I'm a very impressive person.
Would you give me a second? I just got a call from Judge Terzzi's clerk.
The Van Persie trial we're not supposed to start until next month.
- Right.
- He moved it up.
To Monday.
He Why? I don't know.
Someone talked to him.
The hell are you doing? Well, I was about to squeeze lemon juice on Susan Sarandon's bare torso.
You called Judge Terzzi, huh? Got my case moved up four weeks? Nico and I are old friends.
Had a few beers, I asked him to expedite Yeah, yeah, expedite it.
We're not even close to being ready.
- Then get on your horse, Cary.
- You push back on the emeritus thing by screwing over a client? Clients don't like to wait for their day in court.
They get a little antsy.
This is how we play in the big leagues, buddy.
You don't want to fight me, Howard.
Actually I do.
All right, let's go.
Sit down.
You may commence petty fighting over tchotchkes.
Uh, these are all items that will be sold in the museum store, Your Honor, most of them commercial, with no artistic value.
Like this mouse pad, for example.
Your Honor, I've often found mouse pads to be works of art.
- They're tiny canvases - Save it.
They're out.
Though I doubt the museum's gonna lose a lot of money there.
- What's next? - The exhibit catalogue.
No, books are not technically items of commerce.
- It's more like a magazine.
- Books and magazines are in.
Next.
- Uh, T-shirts.
- Oh.
- Big ticket item.
- Are you saying that fashion - is not art? - This isn't fashion.
It's sold in a souvenir store.
The Supreme Court found T-shirts to be protected expressive works.
Um, the fine arts exception to the right of publicity doesn't apply if the item is used as advertisement.
Well, what is that T-shirt advertising? - The museum.
- T-shirts with the name of the museum are out, T-shirts with images are in.
Everybody wins.
Next.
Your Honor, I think that we can skip "next," if I may just recall Erik Barsetto to the stand.
Mr.
Barsetto, this photo where was it taken? Kennebago Lake.
Thank you.
That's all.
Judge, I don't see the relevance.
- No, but I feel it coming.
- Kennebago Lake is in Maine, which does not recognize a right of publicity.
How many of these photos of you were taken in Maine? All of them.
Well, that makes my job easier.
Maine law controls, the museum can sell it all.
Even the mouse pads.
But, Your Honor, you just said they were out.
You heard me: it's all in! What the hell was that about? I have no idea.
What did we do? It's not you.
- He's hungry.
- What do you mean? Ramadan.
He's been fasting all day.
So what do we do? Catch him in the morning.
He'll have more patience.
Thank you.
I'm sorry I didn't hire you immediately.
Hey, I'm a big believer in second chances.
What are you gonna do here? No idea.
The exhibit's about to open, and we're out of witnesses.
I might have someone.
Mr.
Wilson, do you consider these images - to be child pornography? - Objection.
Your Honor, this man's opinion is not relevant.
Your Honor, Mr.
Wilson is an expert in the field.
- In what way? - Mr.
Wilson, were you convicted of possessing child pornography? - Yes.
- And were you a member of online communities where you advised other people how Yeah, I-I get the picture.
Ms.
Crozier, your objection is overruled.
Illinois Evidentiary Rule 702.
He's an expert.
Mr.
Wilson, are you familiar with these photos? Absolutely.
My online friends and I have traded them back and forth for years.
For what purpose? Personal sexual gratification.
And, to your mind, are they distinctive from the photos you were convicted of possessing? No.
Same thing, only better.
Your Honor, we submit that these photos are essentially child pornography, and, as such, consent doesn't matter, nor does any fine arts exception they cannot be displayed.
This is a smear campaign.
- Phyllis Barsetto - This is not a smear campaign.
- is a well-respected artist.
- This is about child porno - No further questions.
- No further questions.
You really see no difference between, uh, child pornography and Ms.
Barsetto's work? Well, they're artsier.
But I still use them.
I'm from Michigan, so this is all just a little much for me.
Wh-What else do you use, sir, for-for the purposes of your self-gratification? - Um, anything from a normal bookshop? - Well, I don't really know what's in a normal bookshop these days.
I've been in prison for the last 11 years.
How about Lolita? No.
Gap Kids? Simply donating to pro-choice candidates isn't enough anymore.
We need to think much bigger.
Is that your polite way of saying we should launch a super PAC, Diane? Well, it's a much more flexible structure.
Good afternoon, ladies.
- Howard.
- Howard Lyman.
And may I say how honored we are to be having this meeting with the leadership of Emily's World? Emily's List.
Of course.
So, Diane, are we gonna help these ladies kick some pro-lifer butt in 2016? Uh, Howard, may I have a moment? Cary tried to keep me out of this meeting.
I will not be sidelined.
Cary's not involved with this group.
Don't enable him, Diane.
And may I say, ladies, I think abortion is great.
You told Howard not to attend my meeting with Emily's List, knowing he'd show up and make a fool of himself.
No.
I told him not to show up.
You two have to quit this.
Now! And set up a call with Abe Ehrling at The Ledger.
We need to do a story on Alicia starting her own firm, working as a bar attorney.
"Defender of the Underdog" sort of thing.
Nice try, Eli, but no.
You know voters hate defense lawyers.
They keep the bad guys out of jail.
I won't let you sabotage the campaign.
- What do you want me to do? - I control the message.
Every article, every interview goes through me.
And you're on probation.
Eli.
I'm supposed to keep tabs on you for Ms.
Eastman.
Tell her everything you're doing.
Really? Titian's Venus of Urbino.
It's considered the most erotic painting of all time.
Look at the eye contact she makes with the viewer.
And it hangs in the Uffizi.
No one would claim this wasn't art.
- That's correct.
- But it is an adult woman, and your work depicts children.
The history of art is littered with depictions of nude children.
Angels, Greek gods, Botticelli and most of the Renaissance artists In Veronese's painting, the naked infant Jesus is even cradling his penis.
You say that your work has more in common with Yes.
I'm sorry, Erik, if they caused you pain, but they're not pornography.
That's a criminal statute.
Have criminal charges been filed? That's a good question.
Uh, have-have they? - No, Your Honor.
- Young man, are you intending to go down to the State's Attorney's Office and swear out a criminal complaint against your mother? Okay, then.
We have a ruling.
This court isn't gonna find that Mrs.
Barsetto's photos are child pornography.
The injunction expires instanter.
The exhibit reopens tomorrow as planned.
Whew! I've got another offer.
May I ask from whom? No.
But they want me to be exclusive, Are you leveraging me to get a better deal from them? I am.
I don't have any wiggle room, Mr.
Crouse.
What are they offering you? Wow.
That will put me in the bottom third of the P.
I.
scale.
Take a chance.
Might be fun.
Let me think about it.
See if you can up the other offer? Yeah.
I'll call you.
It wasn't a yes.
Okay, well, let's turn to me.
Okay.
I'd like to renegotiate my salary.
- You don't have a salary.
- I know.
Which is why I'd like to negotiate it.
You two need to make peace.
Or at the very least, stop making war.
We are not leaving this room until we figure out a way to put aside the differences and work together.
Okay.
- Fine with me.
- Absolutely not.
He sat me down at lunch and told me I was worthless.
- I'm sure he didn't say that.
- Diane, there's no common ground, okay? It's either him or me.
Cary goes or I do.
Did he just issue the easiest ultimatum in history? Mr.
Crouse, how are you? Good.
Thank you, ma'am.
So, I've got a counteroffer.
And you're wondering if I'll beat it.
Yeah.
It's $200 an hour.
Okay.
$250.
But that's it.
You need to work exclusively, and, uh, I need an answer now.
Phyllis, you testified in court about how much Erik loved what he did, how much he helped you after school, on weekends, vacations.
Some kids play sports or get a job.
But Erik didn't need a job.
He already had one as your model.
- He enjoyed it.
- You don't need There were no work papers filed, and our client wasn't paid anything.
You're going after child labor? - Seriously? - Erik worked four hours a day, five days a week per photo.
That's over 200 photos.
Throw in compounded interest, - double it all in liquidated damages - Mom, we could've skipped all this.
We still could skip it if you'll just give me the photos.
Erik the photos are on the Internet.
You'll never truly get back what you lost.
But this money, it can help you start the next part of your life.
Ruth.
Oh, Governor.
- I just got a call from Frank Landau.
- Yes.
Eli went rogue.
His assistant just told me.
Landau's supporting Alicia.
No, I d I don't think so.
Yes, he is.
He said that Eli arranged it.
- Mr.
Governor, I'm - I think it's rather good work on Eli's part, don't you think? I do think.
Good.
Give him a call and tell him that.
I don't want any bad blood.
When he does well, I want you to congratulate him; when you do well, I want him to congratulate you.
Give him a call.
Willingly.
Good.
$32,000.
That's not bad for a week's worth.
$16,000.
I split it fifty-fifty with Lucca.
So let's see, $400 to Amanda, $160 to Jason, $80 to me.
I'll get that.
Might be a new client.
I will get it.
- Hey.
- Hey.
So are we negotiating? That depends.
What do I have to beat now? $90 an hour.
No exclusivity.
$95 an hour, but that's it.
No more using me as a stalking horse.
Take it or leave it.
Take it.