Adventure Time with Finn & Jake s07e03 Episode Script
Cherry Cream Soda
Adventure Time Come on, grab your friends We'll go to very distant lands With Jake the dog and Finn the human The fun will never end It's Adventure Time Fearlessly, Captain Root Beer Guy charges across the battlefield.
The ancient sleeper raises his power staff to attack.
With one lever pull, Captain Root Beer Guy saves the Root Beer Guy! One day at a time.
Okay, Loafy, just a second.
Hmm? Hello? Root Beer Guy? Nope.
Starchy.
You do this every morning.
I know.
I'm sorry, honey.
I'm trying, but I can't stop thinking about him.
Look, we've been married two months already.
I love you, baby, but isn't there an expiration date to this grieving thing? I don't think it works that way.
Starchy, dear, could you feed the cat later? I've got to prep a witness tonight.
Anything for my Cherry Cream Soda and her sweet, little kitty cat.
Oh! I'll win your heart someday, Loafy.
We can't all be a cute, little character with a cute, little straw sticking out of our cute, little head.
But take some advice from an old grave digger, huh? Maybe it's time to do something with that.
Here's a thought I could bury this for you.
An unmarked grave kind of thing.
Just sswt! Toss him in there with whoever.
Well, that's that seems macabre.
But sweet.
I'll think about it.
Okay, okay.
See you tonight.
Looks like it's gonna rain.
Don't forget your umbrella, Starchy.
Ooh, thanks.
Maybe I'll take my hoe in case things get sloppy.
Well, bye again.
Bye.
You two are married.
Goodbye, Root Beer Guy.
Good morning, husband.
Good morning, wife.
Shaving your 'stache? Uh-huh.
Aaaaahhhh! Starchy! What? What? Blazes mazes! What is going on? I saw him.
He was right outside.
Who? Finn? Jake? Candy person number 22? Maybe I can still catch him Hi, sweetie.
I was dead, but I came back to life.
That was really something.
Hmm.
It's okay, baby.
Starchy's here.
Oh, thank heavens.
It was just another hallucina-a-tion.
Honey, I'm fairly upset that you remarried.
But how is this possible? You were zapped by Darren, the ancient sleeper.
Your dome was cracked.
Your root beer soaked into the ground.
I buried your remains in a mason jar, which is now your head.
And and and now I'm with Starchy.
I mean, we're we're legally married.
You're legally dead.
Not that I want to sound obsessed with legalities, but I am a lawyer.
Hey, where's that little statue I got you? It said, "I wuv you," on the base of it.
It was a little bear with his arms out like this.
He was all, "I wuv you, I wuv you, I wuv you.
" No sudden moves, baby.
He's got freaky zombie strength.
Maybe it's up here.
Did you hire a maid service or something while I was gone? I sure hope they didn't throw out the "I wuv you" bear.
Enough! I should have put you in the ground a long time ago! Hey, I came back for her.
Root Beer Guy, if that is you in there, I'm so proud of you.
But this isn't fair.
You ended our life together when you pulled that lever.
You made the choice, and you saved the kingdom.
But you lost me.
Heh.
Burn.
Cherry Cream Soda, I still wuv you whoa! You always wanted this wall knocked down anyway, right? Ooh.
Oooh! Wah! You come back with no explanation, wreck up the place, and you expect to just pick up where we left off? Get out of my house! I'm sorry.
Starchy wins! That's funny.
I can't believe you used to be married to such a freak.
He isn't a freak.
Or he didn't used to be.
Shh, shh, shh, shh.
Don't worry, honey.
Don't touch me now, please.
I need time to think.
Look, baby.
Starchy knows all the fresh widows in town, and Starchy chose you.
Starchy wuvs you.
It's time to dig a hole.
I thought she'd be happy to see me, but it was disaster.
I didn't know where to pick up with her, so of course I just acted like a goof.
Oh, and now I'm one of the undead, I guess.
Hey, man, there's absolutely nothing wrong with you.
She's got a point, though.
I was the one who wanted to be the big hero, and I got my wish.
But I didn't think about her enough.
I'm not even thinking about her right now.
- Yes, you are.
- I am? Run back and tell her all the stuff you've been telling us.
Maybe you could pick up from a place you Haven't been yet.
I don't know what that means, but it sounds very encouraging! See you guys later.
He didn't bite you, did he? Cherry Cream Soda! Cherry Cream Soda! I've had a revelation of some kind.
No dirt-heads allowed.
Uh, but I have to talk to Cherry Cream Soda.
Oh, no you don't.
Nuh-uh.
I'm trying to be polite.
Oh, dear.
Hmm.
Pardon me! It's on, zombie.
What the heck? You have met your match, freaky dirt guy! Woo-woo-woo-woo! Look, will you give me a break? Too chicken, huh? Look, I'll put the shovels down.
See? Hah! This is childish.
Ha! Get away from my head! Ho-ho! We have some unfinished business.
Wait for me, Little Dirt Beer! Ooh, is somebody afraid of old Starchy? I'm afraid of killing you.
Oh, boo-hoo.
Don't hurt me! Ugh.
Is it not possible to get away from you? I'm escorting you to your new home Far away from my house.
It's not even your house.
Ha! It's practically mine.
Tonight, you'll sleep in a hole The same dirty grave hole from whence you sprang! I'm not usually violent, but you pushed me.
Nah.
What's this? Okay, now we're talking.
Poke me with a shovel now, you mustache face.
Aw.
Stop it, both of you.
Neither of you thought to ask me what I want.
I've made a decision who I want to be with.
I don't want to be with either of you.
- What?! - You're a maniac.
I can't believe I ever got that low.
Hmm! Starchy doesn't need this.
And you.
I don't know you anymore.
Okay.
Take care of yourself.
I said "I don't know you," but I'd like to.
Would you like to go on a date? Yee! I mean, yes.
This is weird, right? Well, we've never actually dated before.
We got married so fast.
Let's take it slow this time around.
One date at a time.
The ancient sleeper raises his power staff to attack.
With one lever pull, Captain Root Beer Guy saves the Root Beer Guy! One day at a time.
Okay, Loafy, just a second.
Hmm? Hello? Root Beer Guy? Nope.
Starchy.
You do this every morning.
I know.
I'm sorry, honey.
I'm trying, but I can't stop thinking about him.
Look, we've been married two months already.
I love you, baby, but isn't there an expiration date to this grieving thing? I don't think it works that way.
Starchy, dear, could you feed the cat later? I've got to prep a witness tonight.
Anything for my Cherry Cream Soda and her sweet, little kitty cat.
Oh! I'll win your heart someday, Loafy.
We can't all be a cute, little character with a cute, little straw sticking out of our cute, little head.
But take some advice from an old grave digger, huh? Maybe it's time to do something with that.
Here's a thought I could bury this for you.
An unmarked grave kind of thing.
Just sswt! Toss him in there with whoever.
Well, that's that seems macabre.
But sweet.
I'll think about it.
Okay, okay.
See you tonight.
Looks like it's gonna rain.
Don't forget your umbrella, Starchy.
Ooh, thanks.
Maybe I'll take my hoe in case things get sloppy.
Well, bye again.
Bye.
You two are married.
Goodbye, Root Beer Guy.
Good morning, husband.
Good morning, wife.
Shaving your 'stache? Uh-huh.
Aaaaahhhh! Starchy! What? What? Blazes mazes! What is going on? I saw him.
He was right outside.
Who? Finn? Jake? Candy person number 22? Maybe I can still catch him Hi, sweetie.
I was dead, but I came back to life.
That was really something.
Hmm.
It's okay, baby.
Starchy's here.
Oh, thank heavens.
It was just another hallucina-a-tion.
Honey, I'm fairly upset that you remarried.
But how is this possible? You were zapped by Darren, the ancient sleeper.
Your dome was cracked.
Your root beer soaked into the ground.
I buried your remains in a mason jar, which is now your head.
And and and now I'm with Starchy.
I mean, we're we're legally married.
You're legally dead.
Not that I want to sound obsessed with legalities, but I am a lawyer.
Hey, where's that little statue I got you? It said, "I wuv you," on the base of it.
It was a little bear with his arms out like this.
He was all, "I wuv you, I wuv you, I wuv you.
" No sudden moves, baby.
He's got freaky zombie strength.
Maybe it's up here.
Did you hire a maid service or something while I was gone? I sure hope they didn't throw out the "I wuv you" bear.
Enough! I should have put you in the ground a long time ago! Hey, I came back for her.
Root Beer Guy, if that is you in there, I'm so proud of you.
But this isn't fair.
You ended our life together when you pulled that lever.
You made the choice, and you saved the kingdom.
But you lost me.
Heh.
Burn.
Cherry Cream Soda, I still wuv you whoa! You always wanted this wall knocked down anyway, right? Ooh.
Oooh! Wah! You come back with no explanation, wreck up the place, and you expect to just pick up where we left off? Get out of my house! I'm sorry.
Starchy wins! That's funny.
I can't believe you used to be married to such a freak.
He isn't a freak.
Or he didn't used to be.
Shh, shh, shh, shh.
Don't worry, honey.
Don't touch me now, please.
I need time to think.
Look, baby.
Starchy knows all the fresh widows in town, and Starchy chose you.
Starchy wuvs you.
It's time to dig a hole.
I thought she'd be happy to see me, but it was disaster.
I didn't know where to pick up with her, so of course I just acted like a goof.
Oh, and now I'm one of the undead, I guess.
Hey, man, there's absolutely nothing wrong with you.
She's got a point, though.
I was the one who wanted to be the big hero, and I got my wish.
But I didn't think about her enough.
I'm not even thinking about her right now.
- Yes, you are.
- I am? Run back and tell her all the stuff you've been telling us.
Maybe you could pick up from a place you Haven't been yet.
I don't know what that means, but it sounds very encouraging! See you guys later.
He didn't bite you, did he? Cherry Cream Soda! Cherry Cream Soda! I've had a revelation of some kind.
No dirt-heads allowed.
Uh, but I have to talk to Cherry Cream Soda.
Oh, no you don't.
Nuh-uh.
I'm trying to be polite.
Oh, dear.
Hmm.
Pardon me! It's on, zombie.
What the heck? You have met your match, freaky dirt guy! Woo-woo-woo-woo! Look, will you give me a break? Too chicken, huh? Look, I'll put the shovels down.
See? Hah! This is childish.
Ha! Get away from my head! Ho-ho! We have some unfinished business.
Wait for me, Little Dirt Beer! Ooh, is somebody afraid of old Starchy? I'm afraid of killing you.
Oh, boo-hoo.
Don't hurt me! Ugh.
Is it not possible to get away from you? I'm escorting you to your new home Far away from my house.
It's not even your house.
Ha! It's practically mine.
Tonight, you'll sleep in a hole The same dirty grave hole from whence you sprang! I'm not usually violent, but you pushed me.
Nah.
What's this? Okay, now we're talking.
Poke me with a shovel now, you mustache face.
Aw.
Stop it, both of you.
Neither of you thought to ask me what I want.
I've made a decision who I want to be with.
I don't want to be with either of you.
- What?! - You're a maniac.
I can't believe I ever got that low.
Hmm! Starchy doesn't need this.
And you.
I don't know you anymore.
Okay.
Take care of yourself.
I said "I don't know you," but I'd like to.
Would you like to go on a date? Yee! I mean, yes.
This is weird, right? Well, we've never actually dated before.
We got married so fast.
Let's take it slow this time around.
One date at a time.