Space Ghost Coast to Coast (1993) s07e03 Episode Script
Yorke and Björk in: Knifin' Around
They were old people's sunglasses.
Really?
Yeah.
You can buy them in Dallas airport.
Cool.
Yeah, and put them over normal sunglasses.
Moltar, can you make me 100 copies of this?
What is it?
It's the new radiohead cd.
Is that the guy from radiohead?
Yes.
Hi.
Hey, how's it going?
Good.
Moltar, we'll talk about it later.
Hey, what's that?
Oh, that's a, uh What is that?
What?
Now, you listen to me.
I could go to jail in Mexico if tom
were to hear that I'm copying his cd.
Don't look at me.
We're talking about dragons.
So you take tom out to the set while I burn and verify these--
theseDragons.
You don't know how to work it.
Moltar, I have a giant brain that is
able to reduce any complex machine
into a simple yes or no answer.
Ok, but that's not the cd-- Moltar!
Yes!
All right.
Thank you very, very much, Space Ghost,
for having me on your show.
Sure, sure.
Want to see how this works?
20!
Yes!
Oh, yeah, welcome to the Moltar show!
Thank you very much, Moltar.
Thank you very much, tom yorke, for sitting next
to the man of the century.
Oh, yeah.
You're very self-assured.
You're very much a nineties man.
Come on!
No.
No.
No.
That is fascinating, tom yorke.
You are very, very interesting and very, very perceptive.
Really?
So interesting and so perceptive that
I think we will now fight with knives.
What?
Yeah!
To the death!
That thing wasn't even a cd burner to begin with.
What are you doing?
I'm hosting the show.
With that knife?
Uh, yes.
Oh, really?
Well, hey.
Tom asked me if he could see my knives, and tom's doing a song
about a knife, and he wanted to see what one looked like.
Isn't that right, tom?
Is that right?
No.
'Cause it sounds like a good idea.
So do it.
No.
Then I'll do it.
I'm a knife knifin' around cut, cut,
cut, cut, cut cut, cut, cut, cut, cut
cut, cut, cut, cut, cut cut, cut, cut, cut, cut
Do you take those intelligence drugs?
I don't need intelligent drugs, tom.
Because I don't know what they are.
Ok, tom?
Yeah.
But I will put anything into my mouth that is given to me,
whether it's supposed to go there or not, because I'm different.
Is that clear with everyone?
Very.
Just different.
That's 'cause you're weird.
What y'all doing?
"Y'all"?
Yep.
Where'd you learn to talk like that?
Hattiesburg.
What were you doing in hattiesburg?
Kickin' it.
Oh, really.
Yep.
That's interesting.
It is interesting.
Tom, is that interesting?
No.
See, zorak?
We're not interested.
Well, I happen to think it's very, very interesting.
Moltar.
It's over.
Really?
Yeah.
Ok.
Oh, and your wife's on the phone.
Your wife?
Ha ha ha!
I don't have a wife.
She says she's your wife.
Look, just tell this woman that she's crazy.
Just because I'm famous and sexy doesn't mean that someone can
just go and marry me the second I leave the room.
What room?
Look, listen, everybody, please.
Listen to me.
I have a hit song about a knife, and yes, I'm married, and that
is why I want you to hang up right now.
Thank you, Moltar.
Hey, honey, how are you?
Do you like sulfur?
Sulfur?
Sulfur's my favorite food, honey.
You know that.
Is that why you called me?
Yeah.
Oh, great.
Can I sing your knife song?
Uh, not now, honey, please.
I'm right in the middle of a
giant space war.
I enjoy talking to you.
Yes, you do.
But like I said, this space war, what can I do?
Aliens.
Yeah?
Yeah, so you have to go now.
Ok.
Ok, so I'll talk to you when there is peace In space.
Yeah, you like salmon or crab?
You know what?
It doesn't matter, because I love you so much Yeah?
That it's time for you to go to sleep.
Ok.
Because that's what it means to love a woman so much.
Ok.
Do you-- so you believe what I'm telling you, right?
Should I sing to you or-- Moltar?
You got married?
Yeah, ok?
Everything gets married, even animals and spiders.
And just because they don't have cakes and suits and wedding
parties and expensive rings doesn't
mean that they're not legally--ahem
Married.
Come on, fight me.
Doesn't seem like you love her.
Well, love is about compromises, zorak.
That's right.
Compromising your future to the
city council of Bethesda, Maryland.
Cut, cut, cut, cut, cut cut, cut, cut, cut, cut
What?
Look, marriage is about hiding in the kudzu behind your
apartment and not going in until the lights are completely out.
Your wife's on the phone again.
Ah, tell her I exploded, and tell her it was very sad and
that the last thing I said was make
sure my wife moves out of my condo.
She says it's an emergency.
Emergency?
Patch her through.
I have to go to the toilet.
You remember the difference between
the toilet and the sofa, right?
I think so.
And remember how angry I got.
It smells like bad eggs.
Because that's what happens when you boil the cushions of
the couch you've been urinating on.
Yeah?
Oh, and as long as I've got you here, tell that French d.J.
Tricky to move out.
What's his name again?
I don't know.
He's your damn friend.
And I would love to introduce you to him.
I've met him.
He's living on our couch with the urine.
And tell him to stop letting in
strangers to listen to his new beats.
It makes all the children happy.
Honey, those aren't children.
They're packets of cream cheese.
Sometimes I can't separate between the two.
You know that.
Yeah, I wish I'd known that when we were just dating.
You have a mask.
Has anybody told you?
Ah, honey, I buried a present for you out in the yard.
Again?
Yeah.
Why don't you go dig it up?
I'm scared.
Yeah.
Well, I'll tell 'em you said that.
Hey, um, what'd you bury?
Her mother.
Cool oh, zorak, it's just a bagel she started calling mother.
Here's to, uh, getting hitched, Space Ghost.
Yeah, let's drink until our hearts stop.
Cool.
Well, look, I got a friend coming by in about 5 minutes,
so, uh, I'm gonna skate.
What are y'all gonna do?
I think we're gonna smash light bulbs out by the dumpster.
Really?
I'm gonna go with you.
Well, you can't.
You're not my friend.
We have things in common.
Your dad still big into those trains, for instance?
No.
Well, what's he big into now?
Look, when my friend gets here, why don't you just go fly
around or hide or something.
I don't know, go to the kitchen.
I'm coming with you.
No, you're not.
Then you're not going anywhere!
You got a-- what, tom?
What's that?
This thing here.
It's a mouth, tom.
Yeah, well, anyway My friend's here.
See you later.
What did I just tell you earlier?
He's here.
Oh, sorry, ma'am.
Hey, your wife's on the phone again.
Are they gone?
Yeah.
Do you get along with them?
What, are you kidding?
They're my best friends.
That's why I married you, so I wouldn't have them anymore.
Yeah, thanks for inviting me.
You're welcome.
I didn't.
Hey, honey, I really want to go outside and smash glass with my
mantis friend zorak, ok?
What's his name again?
Zorak.
You know, he's my buddy from work.
Well, maybe you should stay indoors.
Look, I need this, for me.
I feel like I'm in jail here.
I seem to get the picture, if you know what I mean.
Oh, I know what you mean.
What exactly do you mean?
Uh, enjoy refreshing time.
Enjoy refreshing what?
Time.
Fine, I will, and don't count on us ever getting married again.
So, are you going?
Nah, she'd kill me.
Ahem.
What do you got there, tom?
It's a worm, isn't it?
Oh, God Your wife's on the phone again.
Well, you can just tell her that
I'll be home no later than 8:00.
Hey, honey.
Ha ha!
You're different.
Yeah, just for a while.
Look, honey, craziest thing.
Another space war if you can believe that,
and it's out by the dumpster.
Yeah?
Hopefully this will mean peace, but there's someone here
who would love to listen to your mouth.
Who's that?
His name is Moltar.
Grr Get down here, Moltar.
He wants to ask you every little thing you know about ice.
No, I don't.
Yes, you do.
No, I don't.
Yes, you do.
Yes, I do.
I know quite a lot about things like that because I come
from Iceland, which is a tiny place..
Oh, really?
With only 280,000 people Where's all the glass?
Eh, broke it all.
I feel empty.
Well, here's some boxes.
Let's break those down so that they'll store properly.
That's boring!
You don't know from fun.
This is responsible.
I need what you have.
I need a woman.
Hang on.
Someone that I can her organs to black Zorak, please.
And make me some money.
Space Ghost chest phone.
Did you hear what I said?
I have to say I'm a great fan of triangles.
Well, I have to say that I am a great fan of Chuck Norris, and
he was in "the delta force" and the delta was a triangle.
The one that came out with no hero?
Yeah.
You know, honey, all this talk about Chuck is making me want to
get married all over again.
Yeah?
Because at the beta barn, you get 20% off for each marriage.
And what's your name again?
In sickness and in health till death do you part?
Yeah.
And do you, Space Ghost, take this woman-- oh, no!
Oh, no!
Heh heh.
Oh, no!
Really?
Yeah.
You can buy them in Dallas airport.
Cool.
Yeah, and put them over normal sunglasses.
Moltar, can you make me 100 copies of this?
What is it?
It's the new radiohead cd.
Is that the guy from radiohead?
Yes.
Hi.
Hey, how's it going?
Good.
Moltar, we'll talk about it later.
Hey, what's that?
Oh, that's a, uh What is that?
What?
Now, you listen to me.
I could go to jail in Mexico if tom
were to hear that I'm copying his cd.
Don't look at me.
We're talking about dragons.
So you take tom out to the set while I burn and verify these--
theseDragons.
You don't know how to work it.
Moltar, I have a giant brain that is
able to reduce any complex machine
into a simple yes or no answer.
Ok, but that's not the cd-- Moltar!
Yes!
All right.
Thank you very, very much, Space Ghost,
for having me on your show.
Sure, sure.
Want to see how this works?
20!
Yes!
Oh, yeah, welcome to the Moltar show!
Thank you very much, Moltar.
Thank you very much, tom yorke, for sitting next
to the man of the century.
Oh, yeah.
You're very self-assured.
You're very much a nineties man.
Come on!
No.
No.
No.
That is fascinating, tom yorke.
You are very, very interesting and very, very perceptive.
Really?
So interesting and so perceptive that
I think we will now fight with knives.
What?
Yeah!
To the death!
That thing wasn't even a cd burner to begin with.
What are you doing?
I'm hosting the show.
With that knife?
Uh, yes.
Oh, really?
Well, hey.
Tom asked me if he could see my knives, and tom's doing a song
about a knife, and he wanted to see what one looked like.
Isn't that right, tom?
Is that right?
No.
'Cause it sounds like a good idea.
So do it.
No.
Then I'll do it.
I'm a knife knifin' around cut, cut,
cut, cut, cut cut, cut, cut, cut, cut
cut, cut, cut, cut, cut cut, cut, cut, cut, cut
Do you take those intelligence drugs?
I don't need intelligent drugs, tom.
Because I don't know what they are.
Ok, tom?
Yeah.
But I will put anything into my mouth that is given to me,
whether it's supposed to go there or not, because I'm different.
Is that clear with everyone?
Very.
Just different.
That's 'cause you're weird.
What y'all doing?
"Y'all"?
Yep.
Where'd you learn to talk like that?
Hattiesburg.
What were you doing in hattiesburg?
Kickin' it.
Oh, really.
Yep.
That's interesting.
It is interesting.
Tom, is that interesting?
No.
See, zorak?
We're not interested.
Well, I happen to think it's very, very interesting.
Moltar.
It's over.
Really?
Yeah.
Ok.
Oh, and your wife's on the phone.
Your wife?
Ha ha ha!
I don't have a wife.
She says she's your wife.
Look, just tell this woman that she's crazy.
Just because I'm famous and sexy doesn't mean that someone can
just go and marry me the second I leave the room.
What room?
Look, listen, everybody, please.
Listen to me.
I have a hit song about a knife, and yes, I'm married, and that
is why I want you to hang up right now.
Thank you, Moltar.
Hey, honey, how are you?
Do you like sulfur?
Sulfur?
Sulfur's my favorite food, honey.
You know that.
Is that why you called me?
Yeah.
Oh, great.
Can I sing your knife song?
Uh, not now, honey, please.
I'm right in the middle of a
giant space war.
I enjoy talking to you.
Yes, you do.
But like I said, this space war, what can I do?
Aliens.
Yeah?
Yeah, so you have to go now.
Ok.
Ok, so I'll talk to you when there is peace In space.
Yeah, you like salmon or crab?
You know what?
It doesn't matter, because I love you so much Yeah?
That it's time for you to go to sleep.
Ok.
Because that's what it means to love a woman so much.
Ok.
Do you-- so you believe what I'm telling you, right?
Should I sing to you or-- Moltar?
You got married?
Yeah, ok?
Everything gets married, even animals and spiders.
And just because they don't have cakes and suits and wedding
parties and expensive rings doesn't
mean that they're not legally--ahem
Married.
Come on, fight me.
Doesn't seem like you love her.
Well, love is about compromises, zorak.
That's right.
Compromising your future to the
city council of Bethesda, Maryland.
Cut, cut, cut, cut, cut cut, cut, cut, cut, cut
What?
Look, marriage is about hiding in the kudzu behind your
apartment and not going in until the lights are completely out.
Your wife's on the phone again.
Ah, tell her I exploded, and tell her it was very sad and
that the last thing I said was make
sure my wife moves out of my condo.
She says it's an emergency.
Emergency?
Patch her through.
I have to go to the toilet.
You remember the difference between
the toilet and the sofa, right?
I think so.
And remember how angry I got.
It smells like bad eggs.
Because that's what happens when you boil the cushions of
the couch you've been urinating on.
Yeah?
Oh, and as long as I've got you here, tell that French d.J.
Tricky to move out.
What's his name again?
I don't know.
He's your damn friend.
And I would love to introduce you to him.
I've met him.
He's living on our couch with the urine.
And tell him to stop letting in
strangers to listen to his new beats.
It makes all the children happy.
Honey, those aren't children.
They're packets of cream cheese.
Sometimes I can't separate between the two.
You know that.
Yeah, I wish I'd known that when we were just dating.
You have a mask.
Has anybody told you?
Ah, honey, I buried a present for you out in the yard.
Again?
Yeah.
Why don't you go dig it up?
I'm scared.
Yeah.
Well, I'll tell 'em you said that.
Hey, um, what'd you bury?
Her mother.
Cool oh, zorak, it's just a bagel she started calling mother.
Here's to, uh, getting hitched, Space Ghost.
Yeah, let's drink until our hearts stop.
Cool.
Well, look, I got a friend coming by in about 5 minutes,
so, uh, I'm gonna skate.
What are y'all gonna do?
I think we're gonna smash light bulbs out by the dumpster.
Really?
I'm gonna go with you.
Well, you can't.
You're not my friend.
We have things in common.
Your dad still big into those trains, for instance?
No.
Well, what's he big into now?
Look, when my friend gets here, why don't you just go fly
around or hide or something.
I don't know, go to the kitchen.
I'm coming with you.
No, you're not.
Then you're not going anywhere!
You got a-- what, tom?
What's that?
This thing here.
It's a mouth, tom.
Yeah, well, anyway My friend's here.
See you later.
What did I just tell you earlier?
He's here.
Oh, sorry, ma'am.
Hey, your wife's on the phone again.
Are they gone?
Yeah.
Do you get along with them?
What, are you kidding?
They're my best friends.
That's why I married you, so I wouldn't have them anymore.
Yeah, thanks for inviting me.
You're welcome.
I didn't.
Hey, honey, I really want to go outside and smash glass with my
mantis friend zorak, ok?
What's his name again?
Zorak.
You know, he's my buddy from work.
Well, maybe you should stay indoors.
Look, I need this, for me.
I feel like I'm in jail here.
I seem to get the picture, if you know what I mean.
Oh, I know what you mean.
What exactly do you mean?
Uh, enjoy refreshing time.
Enjoy refreshing what?
Time.
Fine, I will, and don't count on us ever getting married again.
So, are you going?
Nah, she'd kill me.
Ahem.
What do you got there, tom?
It's a worm, isn't it?
Oh, God Your wife's on the phone again.
Well, you can just tell her that
I'll be home no later than 8:00.
Hey, honey.
Ha ha!
You're different.
Yeah, just for a while.
Look, honey, craziest thing.
Another space war if you can believe that,
and it's out by the dumpster.
Yeah?
Hopefully this will mean peace, but there's someone here
who would love to listen to your mouth.
Who's that?
His name is Moltar.
Grr Get down here, Moltar.
He wants to ask you every little thing you know about ice.
No, I don't.
Yes, you do.
No, I don't.
Yes, you do.
Yes, I do.
I know quite a lot about things like that because I come
from Iceland, which is a tiny place..
Oh, really?
With only 280,000 people Where's all the glass?
Eh, broke it all.
I feel empty.
Well, here's some boxes.
Let's break those down so that they'll store properly.
That's boring!
You don't know from fun.
This is responsible.
I need what you have.
I need a woman.
Hang on.
Someone that I can her organs to black Zorak, please.
And make me some money.
Space Ghost chest phone.
Did you hear what I said?
I have to say I'm a great fan of triangles.
Well, I have to say that I am a great fan of Chuck Norris, and
he was in "the delta force" and the delta was a triangle.
The one that came out with no hero?
Yeah.
You know, honey, all this talk about Chuck is making me want to
get married all over again.
Yeah?
Because at the beta barn, you get 20% off for each marriage.
And what's your name again?
In sickness and in health till death do you part?
Yeah.
And do you, Space Ghost, take this woman-- oh, no!
Oh, no!
Heh heh.
Oh, no!