Stargate SG-1 s07e03 Episode Script

General, what's this all about? At 0920 hours this morning, someone tried to enter the base using this.
- Colonel O'Neill's security lD.
- After he was taken into custody, - he insisted on seeing you.
- Me? Why? I was hoping you could figure that one out, Major.
Open it.
Thank you.
Now we're getting somewhere.
Sergeant, that coffee I asked for half an hour ago.
Anytime you feel like getting it He's a boy, sir.
As it turns out, Carter, yes, I am.
For the moment.
Do I know you? Come on.
It's me.
We tried to contact Colonel O'Neill, even sent someone to his house.
Do you understand how much trouble you're in? lmpersonating a military officer is a federal offence.
I am not impersonating anyone.
I am Jack O'Neill.
Finally.
Hot chocolate? Are you kidding? Where did you get this? I didn't I didn't get it anywhere.
It's mine.
- Because you're Colonel O'Neill.
- Exactly.
Last night I ate some dinner, had a beer, went to bed, and woke up like this.
Can we please get to the part where you and Fraiser run some tests, find a cure, make me big again? - This is the security breach? - Daniel, tell them who I am, please.
OK, love to.
Who are you? This young man claims he's Colonel O'Neill.
It's a joke, right? - What's going on? - Daniel! Sounds like him - at least the loud, grating parts.
OK.
You want proof? Carter, you once carried a Tok'ra named Jolinar who gave her life to save you.
Daniel, until recently you were an ascended being.
You broke the rules, you got kicked out of the Oma Desala fan club, and had your memory erased.
And you and Bra'tac both just lost your snakes in a Goa'uld ambush.
Had your tretonin yet this morning? How could this child possess such knowledge? Because it's me.
Anyone care to speculate how a boy could be aware of classified information? - Well, sir, it could be him.
- There is a physical resemblance.
But he can't be more than 15 years old.
Are you saying Colonel O'Neill has regressed more than 30 years overnight? - Stranger things have happened.
- Name but one.
The time he got really old, the time he became a caveman, the time we all Why don't we move on to the testing portion of this exercise? - Are you certain, Doctor? - Within an acceptable margin of error, the boy's DNA is virtually identical to Colonel O'Neill's.
- What size margin of error? - Very small.
In a court of law, the DNA sample we took would be considered a high-probability match to that of Colonel O'Neill.
There is a tiny abnormality, but for all intents and purposes, it's him.
"Tiny abnormality" - like the fact he's a few years younger than he's meant to be? To be honest, this is out of my league.
We've got specialists flying in.
We'll run more tests, see what we can learn.
In the meantime, we'll try to make him as comfortable as possible.
I'll go set up a PlayStation.
You know I think you two are enjoying this just a little too much.
Well, you are kinda cute.
That's "sir" to you.
And being trapped inside a scrawny little body isn't my idea of cute, Carter.
Does possessing a younger body not have certain advantages, O'Neill? No.
Not seeing it.
What do you mean? Do you not experience increased health and vitality? My vitality was just fine, thank you.
I think what Teal'c is saying is valid.
How many of us wouldn't trade everything for the chance to live our lives over? Yeah, well, I don't plan on staying like this.
Well, in the meantime, may I make a suggestion? Try enjoying this as much as we are.
Sir.
It's nice to know some things don't change.
I wasn't exactly expecting visitors.
We'll send this stuff to the lab for analysis.
Well, if they find MSG, I will never order from them again.
What are we doing here exactly? This is the last place you remember being Older? Are you conducting a scientific experiment, O'Neill? Come on.
That salsa's still good.
What was the last thing you ate, sir? Four cheese burritos, some guacamole on the side.
- Anything else? - A beer.
Then I hit the sack.
So whatever happened to you must have occurred once you were asleep.
Hey! Do you mind? Teal'c! Whoa.
- O'Neill.
- What is it? Either I'm remembering a particularly bad dream, or the Asgard paid me a little visit last night.
(Hammond) What you're saying makes no sense.
Jack's account sounds like a number of UFO abduction case files I've read.
This you remember.
My birthday you forget.
Looks like you'll have a lot more.
This encounter is incongruous with all previous contact with the Asgard.
Thor has indicated that the Asgard kept an eye on human development on Earth.
But we're allies now.
We've cooperated on a number of missions.
- This I would not have agreed to.
- What could they possibly hope to gain from secretly making you younger against your will? I got nothing.
I'd like to cross-reference the abduction accounts, see if I can find a connection.
Please do.
Major, I believe you have a briefing to run at 1300 hours.
- Yes, sir.
I'll be there.
- The F-302 briefing? - I thought I was running that.
- It would be best if the major handled it.
I'm sure you can impart any information she needs to know.
- But I'm the one who - Good.
Dismissed.
- (knocking) - Come in.
Jack, try to understand.
Your situation puts me in a very difficult position.
No offence, but you're not the one who went to bed watching CNN and woke up as part of the MTV generation.
Which is why Major Carter's handling that briefing.
I've flown the 302 more than anyone else.
Be that as it may, the bottom line is, a room full of seasoned pilots aren't going to respect the opinion of a boy.
Sir, I just look like one for the moment.
But those men in that room need my expertise.
And if they're gonna be working here, they're gonna have to get used to - unusual things happening.
- Look, Jack.
No one is disputing that you may continue to be a valuable asset to the SGC.
But under the circumstances, there's nothing I can do.
I'm sorry.
Yes, sir.
I understand.
Dumb idea.
It would appear that many Tauri have encountered beings from other worlds.
Little do they know how close they are to the truth.
What exactly are we looking for, Daniel Jackson? Any abduction accounts that match Jack's story, and anyone claiming to have physically regressed several decades overnight.
- We need to enter our search parameters.
- It has already been done.
Wow! That's a lot of people.
Indeed.
Let's see if any of these match Jack's story.
He said he saw four green lights.
That's a little more reasonable.
That's interesting.
Of the narrowed-down accounts, the most recent is from - 19 years ago.
- Eight are here in the States.
If these addresses are still valid, we should talk to these people in person.
- What do you hope to learn? - I guess we'll know when we learn it.
As your intel packages show, the F-302 is a spaceworthy fighter-interceptor aircraft reverse-engineered from Goa'uld technology.
Your upcoming mission has been dubbed "Operation Blue Phoenix".
It'll be a live-fire combat simulation to test the 302 against actual death gliders.
- Captain? - According to our mission reports, you were second seat on the most recent 302 mission.
Yes, and it included close combat.
We'll cover what was learned in that encounter.
- Didn't Colonel O'Neill pilot that mission? - Yes, as a matter of fact he did.
He also commanded the X-302 on both hyperspace window missions, didn't he? What's your point, Major? With respect, ma'am, shouldn't he be running this briefing? Colonel O'Neill is unavailable.
However, I have several computer models to help you understand how the 302 handles in combat situations.
No offence, but those won't help me when I'm pulling 6G's in a dogfight.
As you should know, Captain, the 302 has inertial dampening systems which I am more than qualified to explain in detail, so let's just - (O'Neill) I just dropped by to say Ow! - Sir, please do not resist.
.
.
stay focused.
- OK, I'm warning you.
- Sir Didn't I just say I was warning you? Hey! Ooh! That's it! Now I'm mad.
You can release him.
I'll forgo the charges for assaulting a superior officer.
Carter.
- Could have taken 'em.
- I'm sure.
Sorry I'm late.
What'd I miss? We were covering the 302's flight capabilities.
Then here's what you need to know.
- Major, is this a joke? - No, this is Colonel O'Neill.
I'm only gonna say this once, so I'd suggest that you listen up.
- Whatever you say.
- Hey! I realise that it doesn't actually say "Colonel" on my uniform, but it should.
Yes, sir.
Now, velocity is key during engagement with a glider.
Your instincts tell you to floor it because it's more manoeuvrable, but you've got to stay in control.
The inertial dampeners only compensate so the real trick is knowing your enemy, so you can anticipate their next moves.
OK.
Death gliders 101 .
May I ask why the United States Air Force has taken a renewed interest in my story after 26 years? All I can tell you is that we have some new information.
- Will it prove my story true? - Eventually.
- Maybe.
- Please tell us what happened to you.
I was asleep in my bed, and a light appeared in my room and took me.
- (Daniel) Took you where? - Some kind of spacecraft, I suppose.
I was weightless, floating in midair, and yet It was dark, cold.
I couldn't move a muscle even though I was wide awake.
- After the light hit you, then what? - The devices came.
They were these green glowing balls that floated around me.
(man speaks Cantonese) After the small green spheres stopped scanning him - (Cantonese) - .
.
they left him alone for a long while.
(man speaks Cantonese) And then a voice spoke to him, telling him not to be afraid, - and that he would soon be safe again.
- Did Professor Wu see who spoke to him? (interpreter speaks Cantonese) All the accounts are basically identical.
They match Jack's version of events.
Except none of them experienced any physical changes as a result.
But everything else is bang on - taken while sleeping, out-of-body experience.
All this does sound familiar - cliché even, if you watch enough TV.
But they all described four green globes buzzing around them like insects.
That's too specific a detail to be a coincidence.
The being that abducted them - I assume they described an Asgard as well.
Short, big eyes, no hair, weird voice.
The Asgard haven't responded to our attempted communications.
If help is coming, it better arrive soon.
(electro-rock music) - (knocking) - It's open.
How are you doing? Well, I think I'm getting another zit, and, uh Oh! Yeah, I'm still a kid.
But beyond that, I'm doing just peachy, thanks.
Why? Well Janet just finished going over the genetic team's analysis of your test results.
How bad can it be? You're probably not feeling the effects yet, but something is happening to your body at the cellular level.
Basically your genetic structure's growing more unstable Colonel you're dying.
Honestly, I feel fine.
You'll start to notice symptoms as the condition worsens.
- How long do I have? - It's hard to say.
Say it anyway.
Weeks, days, I don't know.
You'll notice fatigue first.
In the end, your body's vital organs will shut down.
It's like something inside you is causing a total system failure.
I don't get it.
We helped save their skinny asses from the replicators, and as a thanks they shrink me and leave me to die.
We're exploring every option we have, Colonel.
We just need you to hang in there.
Thanks for coming.
I'm sure it'll help coming from you.
- How are Mark and the kids? - Good.
Great.
I'll tell them you said hi.
I'm sorry.
Sam told me what was going on, but What could anyone possibly hope to gain from this? Can we just, uh get on with it? I'm not getting any younger.
Well, as I told Sam, our options are pretty limited.
You came all this way to say goodbye? At this point, I'm here to recommend we put you in stasis - until we understand your condition.
- You wanna freeze me.
We're not talking about cryogenics as we know it here on Earth.
The risk involved is minimal.
I've been down this road with the Tok'ra before.
No offence, Jacob, but the last time you guys helped me out of a "jam", I ended up rescuing an old girlfriend I'd never met before.
We would never subject you to another blending without your permission.
Good.
Cos it's never gonna happen.
No pressure, Jack.
But you need to make a decision.
We have a team standing by.
But if you wait too long, we may not be able to reverse the cellular breakdown.
Colonel, please.
It's your choice, Jack.
- Can I have five minutes to think about it? - You can have ten, Colonel.
- Do you think he'll do it? - If I have to drag him there myself.
I didn't come all this way to watch him die like this.
We have a security breach, level 25, guest quarters.
(alarm) Security teams have swept the base three times, inside and out.
They've found nothing.
I think it's safe to assume he's no longer here.
He knows the SGC as well as anyone.
If he wanted a way out, he'd find one.
I've notified the authorities.
With any luck they'll find him soon.
Sir? There's something you all need to see.
Go on home, kid, before I call the cops.
It's a school night, for cryin' out loud.
How about lite beer? Gimme a break.
Harley? - Excuse me? - Yeah, Harlan Beck.
You served in Operation Proven Force out of Incirlik.
Yeah, during the Gulf.
How'd you know that, kid? What, are you kidding? I ran I mean, uh my uncle knew a Lieutenant Beck from the war.
Said he was a stand-up guy.
Flew an AC-130 gunship over Baghdad.
Then your uncle had to be in the Special Ops.
Yeah, he was.
Colonel Jack O'Neill? You're Jack O'Neill's nephew? I didn't know he had a sibling.
Well used to.
Uncle Jack's been like a father to me since my folks died.
So how's old Jack doin', anyway? He's fine.
He's not that old, either.
Well, tell him tell him Harley said to watch his six.
Hey.
Yeah, uh speaking of six Look, seeing as how you know my uncle and all, you think you could do me a little favour? Selmak has had a chance to digest some of the DNA test results, and it seems Colonel O'Neill's condition isn't what we thought.
- He isn't dying? - He is, but we think we know the cause.
When we first compared the DNA samples, the match was almost perfect.
- You said there was a tiny abnormality.
- Yes.
Selmak thinks he knows why.
(distorted) This is not Colonel O'Neill.
- But - He's a clone.
I see.
Keep me informed.
No word yet on What exactly do we call him at this point? Duplicate O'Neill? Sir, we think we have a clearer idea of what might be going on.
- Enlighten me.
- We know the Asgard clone themselves.
They clone their bodies, then transfer their consciousness from one to the next.
They suffer from grave diseases due to thousands of years of cloning.
Leading to extinction if they can't solve the problem of diminishing returns in their cloning technology.
What does this have to do with Colonel O'Neill? We had the abductees' DNA that Teal'c and I interviewed scanned for the same abnormalities as Duplicate O'Neill.
As far as we can tell, none of them are clones.
- Which means? - In all likelihood, the Asgard responsible took the original people and replaced them with duplicates.
They study the originals and then switch them back.
You think whoever took the real Colonel O'Neill is going to return him? It's all we've got, sir.
We're hoping the fact that the clone didn't mature is a mistake.
What makes you think that? The previous actions of this Asgard indicated his desire to remain covert.
Jack's clone is a dead giveaway.
The Asgard doesn't know there's a problem or he'd have tried to fix it.
They'll figure it out when they try to switch him back.
If they try to switch.
If we don't track down the duplicate, we may not get the real O'Neill back? We're sure the Asgard could find him if he wants.
That's not the real issue.
We wish to apprehend the Asgard.
Intercepting the next switch may be our only shot.
(buzzer) - Hammond.
- General Hammond, sir.
I have a Lieutenant Colonel Beck from the 10th Air Base Wing on the line for you.
- It has to do with Colonel O'Neill.
- Patch him through.
Yes, sir.
Unless you brought beer, that's close enough.
Colonel, we need you to come back with us.
How'd you find me? Lieutenant Colonel Beck called General Hammond and placed you in the area.
A man from whom you bought bait recommended this river.
Tell Jacob thanks, but I'm not interested in the deep-freeze deal.
We're not here to take you to the Tok'ra.
There may not be much time.
- Never is, is there? - OK.
Well There's no easy way to tell you this, so Sam's just gonna come right out and say it.
Well, sir, as you know, the Asgard depend on a cloning technology Oh, for cryin' out loud! You have been cloned, O'Neill.
What? We think the Asgard took the real you and made a copy - an unstable one at that.
The "real" me? Yeah, the original.
That's not your "real" anything.
I'm sorry.
Where's the original? That's what we hope to find out.
But we need your help.
We've calculated a seven-day gap between abductions, which puts us at tonight.
This plan sucks.
Look, I know you don't think I am who I am, but as far as I'm concerned, I am who I am.
The switch is our only chance of capturing whoever's behind this.
What about the fact that this body is dying? Has anyone even thought about that for a second? Oh.
I see.
You don't care, as long as you get the original back.
We just We don't know what else to do for you.
Perhaps the Asgard responsible can correct his mistake.
Fine.
Give me a nine-mil.
I'll get it out of the sucker.
We don't know who or what we might be facing yet.
Exactly why you can't just use me as bait and hang me out to dry.
You'll never intercept an Asgard beam.
The only chance you have of capturing this guy is me.
Come on.
A zat gun.
Thank you, sir.
Carter, you still got your ears on? - Yes, sir.
- Daniel? Teal'c? - Everything appears to be normal, O'Neill.
- Yeah? Not to me.
Wanna go over the instructions again? Don't worry, Carter.
I'm sure I'll figure it out.
Colonel, you all right? Jack! Jack! O'Neill.
What are you all doing in my bedroom? Hello.
Do not be afraid.
(groans) - I assume this is important.
- Just a little, sir.
OK.
Wrong console.
Far right jewel thingy up.
Ah! And three o'clock.
I was having the weirdest dream.
You see, Carter? Told you it was no problem.
What's goin' on? Wow.
You know, I'm really much taller than I think.
Carter? Colonel O'Neill, meet Colonel O'Neill.
- What's goin' on? - We're pretty sure this Asgard over here kidnapped you and attempted to replace you with a clone.
How long was I asleep? - Seven days.
- It's a record.
So you're - You.
- .
.
me? Yeah.
Believe me, if you think it's weird, imagine how I feel being the copy.
He has awakened.
- What's happening? - We were kinda hoping you could tell us.
- No, no, no.
This is all wrong.
- Hey! I'll tell you what's wrong.
I just woke up, I haven't had coffee, let alone a pee in seven days, and I find out you stole my ass and made a mini-me.
Carter, I should be irked currently, yes? Yes, I would be.
- Why don't you tell us who you are? - Loki.
According to Norse mythology, that's the god of mischief.
- What did you want with Colonel O'Neill? - I have nothing more to say to any of you.
Hey! We just saved your flat little white asses from the replicators.
- This is the thanks we get? - At least you're gonna live.
What? Maybe you're a little put out.
But this guy didn't hit the right buttons on the Xerox.
This body is gonna fall apart if he doesn't fix me.
I cannot.
All the clones suffer the same fate.
OK.
I'm going back to my original question.
What's going on? I am a scientist, a former geneticist with the Asgard Ruling Council.
- Former? - I was stripped of my stature after I was caught performing unsanctioned experiments on humans.
What, you've got sanctioned ones? I had the courage to do what was needed to advance our cloning technology.
Instead of courage, some might call it a lack of morality.
Our population cannot withstand the duplication process for much longer.
How can experimenting on humans change that? Your bodies are similar to our original form thousands of years ago.
Using your physical make-up as a template, I hoped to construct a clone that could contain our massively superior intellect.
- My research was unsuccessful.
- So much for massively superior intellect.
- I was gonna say that.
- I was going to say it was unsuccessful prior to my being caught and banished.
- I would have found what I needed.
- Why risk coming back after 19 years? Because I thought he was the one.
- Me? - Me? I believed his genetic code contained the key.
- Mine? - Mine? Stop it.
He was physiologically advanced enough to carry and utilise all the data from the Ancients' repository of knowledge - impossible for any human one generation ago.
He is a significant step forward on your evolutionary path.
- You just found this out recently? - I learned it when all the Asgard did.
O'Neill is legendary.
The Asgard fleet has been distracted by the war with the replicators and subsequent relocation of our people.
So you took the opportunity when no one was looking to sneak back here.
I do not regret my actions.
I am trying to save my people.
Look, I know this isn't all about me, but come on.
- Seriously, I'm dyin' here.
- I cannot reverse your fate.
Nor can I explain why you did not mature to the proper age as you should have.
Well, easy to see why they kicked you out of the science club.
All right, I've heard enough.
Carter! Can you call Thor on this thing? - Please, do not.
- We've tried contacting the Asgard.
- You'd think if Thor knew about this - OK, pretty sure that's it.
All right, how long are we going You all right? Actually, no.
What do we do if Thor doesn't show up? Never mind.
Well, it's about time.
I apologise for not coming sooner.
Loki, what have you done? Seems he's been playing Dr Moreau behind your back.
Yes.
Dr Moreau.
- You know why I am here.
- You should have known O'Neill's genetic coding was safeguarded for his own protection.
Excuse me? A marker was placed in your DNA to prevent attempts at genetic manipulation.
- The abnormality.
- That's why the clone didn't mature.
Yes.
Loki will be punished for his actions.
Is it true that Colonel O'Neill is the key to solving your cloning problems? No.
- But I thought I was advanced.
- Indeed you are, O'Neill.
But our scientists have already determined that while you are an important step forward in the evolutionary chain, the missing link we have been searching for still eludes us.
I'm sorry.
Again, I apologise for any inconvenience Loki may have caused.
Yeah, that's what I'd call it.
Unfortunately, the eventual genetic breakdown of the clone is not my doing, but rather a result of Loki's inept methods.
There was no need for the clones to survive.
Look, Thor.
Is there anything you can do for him? The whining's starting to grate.
- You wish your clone to live? - You can't just let me die.
- He's just a kid.
- Are you certain, O'Neill? I'm thinking.
- Yeah.
- Very well.
I will attempt to repair his DNA.
If successful, he should continue to mature at a normal human rate.
Thanks.
You sure about this? I've thought a lot about it.
You know, you me.
I mean, we never really did embrace high school.
Haven't you ever wanted to go back and do it all over again, especially with all you know now? No.
Well, from here on in you and me are different.
Which is why I'm gonna do this.
Hey, listen.
Do me a favour, huh? Don't worry, I wasn't gonna keep in touch.
- Yeah, it'd just be a little - Weird.
Weird, yeah.
Yeah.
But if you need anything, just The air force has set me up.
I'll be fine.
You sure about this? I mean, it's high school.
Yes.
Go forth, young man.
(school bell)