The Croods: Family Tree (2021) s07e03 Episode Script

1
-[scream]
-[growls]
-[crowd chatter]
-DAWN: Welcome, everyone!
We are here
to celebrate all of you!
EEP: Because our parents
said we don't appreciate them.
So, welcome to
the first-ever Farmy Awards!
-[applause]
-Awards? Those fix everything!
-The first award is for
the Best Couch Sitter.
-Ooh! This could be anybody!
-And the Farmy goes to Thunk!
-[cheering]
-[gasps]
-[applause]
-Woo!
I wanna thank everyone who
made this possible!
Couch, window, [laughs]
and, of course, me. Mwah!
-Next, the Farmy for
Coolest Human
-goes to
-[Phil clears throat]
-EEP: Guy!
-Wow!
-[applause, cheering]
-[high-pitched]:
Phil was robbed!
He's cooler than
a morning breeze!
-[laughs]
First, I'd like to thank
-Wrap it up, Bare Back!
-In conclusion, thanks.
-[one person clapping]
-Next, the Farmy for Best Ambush
goes to
-[gasps]
-[Sandy howls]
-[applause]
-Sandy, of course.
[cheering]
-[scoffs]
I don't need some award.
-Exactly. We're above this.
-And the award for Best Mom
On The Farm goes to
-Hope and Ugga! It's a tie!
-[applause]
-[both screaming]
-[cheering]
-We won!
I'm too excited to speak!
-I love everyone!
Best night ever!
-[screaming]
-[applause]
-But it's daytime.
-And the Farmy Award
for being
the hairiest goes to
my dad!
-[cheering]
-[laughing] Oh! No!
-[applause]
-Oh wow!
I-I've always had hair,
and today, it finally paid off.
This is for hair everywhere!
-That's it. I'm moving.
Let's live wild,
the world's our own
We built this wheel
now it's gunna roll
You know a spark
becomes a fire wherever we go
Whoa-ho-ho
Stuck together,
stuck, stuck together
It's an evolution
for worse or for better
To find some unity
For all humanity
Because we're
stuck together
In one big family tree
-Breathe in elation.
-[inhales]
-Breathe out frustration.
-[exhales]
-GRUG: Ugga?
-[both yelp]
Where do you think
I should put my Farmy?
-Grug, we're breathing.
-Oh, right. Sorry.
[inhales]
Should I put it by the bed
or next to the window? Oh.
-Right. Breathing.
-[inhales]
-Maybe in the dining room.
-[gasps]
That way, everyone can think
about my hair while they eat.
-Look, Grug, awards are nice.
-Especially ours
because we earned
and truly deserve them.
-But you can't
let them go to your head.
-It's really not a big deal.
-You're right.
It's the biggest deal ever!
I'm the best at being hairy!
-Well, you're lucky
these awards didn't happen
when we were younger.
If they had,
Phil would have won.
UGGA:
No. Way.
-Hard to believe, huh?
GRUG: [scoffs]
I could grow a beard like that.
-No. You can grow
a beard like that.
-Yeah,
but I could grow a big beard.
-Please don't. I like seeing
your handsome face.
-Oh, yeah?
Well, I'm gonna cover it.
-With a big beard!
-EEP: Dad,
you're gonna grow a big beard?
How?
-Uh, with my face. Why don't any
of you know how beards work?
-I know how beards work!
And I know not everyone
can grow a beard.
Whoa. We're saying beards
so much, it sounds weird.
Beard. Beard.
-Beard, beard, beard, beardOw!
-[growling]
Thanks, Gran.
I was caught in a beard loop.
-Happens.
And Other Girl's right.
Not everyone can grow a beard.
Like Baby Face
and Tender Cheeks there.
-Aw, thanks. Wait.
Who's Baby Face
and who's Tender Cheeks?
-Ooh! Can I be Baby Face?
No! Wait. Tender Cheeks.
Ah! I don't know who to be!
-Enough! I'm growing a beard,
and that's that!
-Thanks for inspiring
this beard-venture, Hope.
-Appreciate it.
-[nervous laugh]
GRUG:
Come on, face.
You can do this. Grow.
[straining]
[straining]
[gasps] Aw.
Maybe you need a little help.
-You came to the right place
for hair help, Dad.
Beards are hair,
and we have a lot of hair.
But you know who has even more?
-[growls]
-Chunky?
-Yup. And his secret
might be what he eats.
-Bones and fear?
-What? No.
Meat parts and veggies.
-If it'll boost my beard,
I'm in!
-[grunts]
-Uh
[voracious eating]
-You can really taste
the meat parts!
-Uh
-[Eep and Dawn straining]
-[Grug groaning]
-I ate so many meat parts.
-I feel like I ate a whole meat.
[belches, groans]
-You were wise to come to me
for a beard boost, Grug.
Even though I've never
actually grown a beard.
Because why would you wanna
hide a face like this? [laughs]
[angry growl]
[clears throat] Anywho
The trick to growing hair
is pretty simple.
-[grunting]
-[leaves rustle]
-Blood flow makes
the whiskers grow! [laughs]
I learned that
when I had to hang upside down
to avoid some alligoaters,
who were no slouches
in the face whisker
department themselves.
-Sounds dumb. [grunts]
-[leaves rustling]
Yeah,
already getting a headache.
How long do I have to do this?
-Not long. Couple of days.
A week, tops.
Wait, are you talking about
avoiding alligoaters
or growing hair? Grug?
[woozy groaning]
-Grug!
-[crash]
[grunts] Are you okay?!
Talk to me!
-[woozy]:
Oh. I'm fine.
-And, yes, I'd love to dance.
-Huh? Whoa!
-[woozy humming]
-[dance music playing]
I'm worried about you,
but I also love dancing, so
mixed emotions.
[grunting]
GRUG:
A-are you sure about this?
-Of course, I'm sure!
Growing a beard is like
any other kind of growing.
Now pipe down!
I gotta add a bunch more stuff
to feed your roots.
[straining, grunts]
-[gasps]
I-I can feel it working!
[sniffs]
Or smell it working, at least.
Thanks for doing this, Gran.
I know we've had
our differences,
so your help means a lot to me.
Gran? Gran?
-Oh, hey, Dad! What's up? Or
down, since you're down there.
-Gran's helping me grow a beard.
-Really?! That's great
'cause it looks like
Gran buried you in garbage.
-Ah!
I don't get it.
I hung upside down.
I ate cat food.
I got buried in garbage.
And still no beard!
I'm out of options!
-Good. Then we can finally
put this to rest.
-Or
-No, Grug. We're not doing ors.
-Right. Unless
-Unless nothing.
-Right.
But what if I do the last thing
I'd ever wanna do?
-That sounds bad.
How about pie instead?
-Sure.
Right after I ask Phil for help.
-PHIL: I thought
you'd never ask.
-[screaming]
-Phil! How did you
-I have the faint footsteps
of a fawn.
And I also have a solution
for your stubble trouble.
To the lab cave!
This formula will facilitate
your follicular fortitude!
-Huh?
-[Phil groans]
-It will make
your beard grow, Grug.
I call it Betterman Beard Broth!
Now,
this treatment is verypotent.
All you need is one spoonful.
No more, no less!
-But, I-I'm kinda big.
Maybe I should drink more.
-No! I've done the math.
One spoonful and onlyone.
Do you understand?
-Yes!
-Are you sure?
-Yes!
-Positive?
-[laughs] Yes!
-Because it's veryimportant
you consume only onespoonful!
I can't be any more
clear about that!
-Got it!
-Very well.
-And you're sure you understand?
-Yes!
-One spoonful.
Say it back to me.
-One spoonful. Loud and clear.
-You're not going to drink
more when I leave, are you?
-[laughs] No!
-Hm.
Did you drink it all?!
-Relax, Phil. I got it.
One spoonful. That's it.
No more, no less.
-Okay, you seem to
actually understand.
So, I suppose
that means goodnight.
And remember, one spoonful.
More is wrong.
Less is wrong. One and one only.
-I'll remember!
[Phil groans]
-[sighs] Wait, how much of this
am I supposed to drink?
Well, just to be safe,
I better drink all of it.
[gulping]
[chickenseal screams]
[yawns]
-What a beautiful morning.
-[snoring, whimpering]
How's it hanging? Get it?
'Cause you're hanging.
[laughs]
-[yawns]
-Trouble sleeping?
-A little.
Probably because it was so hot.
It felt like I was sleeping
next to a tigerangutan.
-Berry cakes and fresh
bee-mu honey. Extra sticky!
-[cheering]
-GRUG: Mm.
ALL:
Predator!
-[gulps] Mm?
-Not just any predator.
That's Bigfoot.
-[muffled yelling]
-A man-beast with more hair
than man or beast.
As deadly as he is ugly.
[muffled yell]
-Okay, Bigfoot.
You got two choices.
You can leave on your own
or on a fork!
-Yeah. Prepare to get served!
-Banana!
-So what's it gonna be?
[muffled yelling, swallows]
-Whoa. [laughs]
Guys, it's me!
Boy, was that honey sticky.
-Grug?
That's you behind that beard?
Beard. Beard.
Now, it sounds normal.
Beard. Beard.
Wait. No, it's weird again.
- That'swhat's weird to you?!
Dad, your beard is so
everywhere. What happened?
-He got bit by Bigfoot
and turned into another Bigfoot!
Aim for the hair!
-Wrong. The Betterman Beard
Broth did this
because Grug clearly exceeded
the recommended dosage.
I explicitly said one spoonful.
I knew he wouldn't listen!
-I grew a beard,
and it's awesome!
-Grug,
it covers your whole body.
Are you even wearing a pelt?
-Of course! Can't you tell?
-No! Now, please go shave that
thing off
before somebody gets hurt.
-Shave my awesome beard off?!
No way!
-It's hair. Who cares?
-I care. And so do you.
You said I couldn't do it,
and I did it.
So now, you're jealous!
-I'm jealous? Of your beard?
Yeah, that's it.
-I'll admit it's a little fuller
than I expected,
but there is zero chance
of me shaving this beard
because this is who I am.
Now, if you're done judging us,
my beard and I
have memories to make.
[yelps, grunts]
-Did you just trip
on your beard?
-No. There was an earthquake.
You felt it, right?
Very quakey. [muttering]
[grunts]
EEP:
Dad, are you sure about this?
Roller logging
is pretty dangerous.
-Only if you fall because
you've never done it before.
-You've done this before, right?
-Nope,
but it doesn't matter. I wanna
let it all hang out today!
Like my beard.
And I'm not worried.
My beard will break my fall.
So, let's go!
[all grunt]
-Whoa!
-[grunts]
-[gasps] Whoa! Ho!
[slow motion yelling]
[all grunting]
-Ha, ha! Didn't feel a thing!
'Cause beard! [panting]
-We got beard blocked.
-Yeah. The beard's gotta go.
-[shower running]
-At last. Phil's shower hour!
-All yours, Phil. [humming]
PHIL: Sweet Zenithees!
It's a hair-tastrophe in here!
[retching]
-The beard must go.
-[splat]
-Huh. Mm.
-Mm [gasps]
-HOPE: Grug!
-Sorry, Hope. It smells amazing.
And it tastes even better.
-In that case, you're forgiven.
-Hey, Hope. Whatcha making?
-Aech!
-Oh. Hair soup. [muffled retch]
-[stomach gurgling]
I'm just gonna go
never eat again.
-Eh
-[Guy retching]
[growls] That beard has to go!
-Grug, we need to talk.
[sighs] Fine.
I'll talk, and you listen.
Look, I know you're excited
about your beard,
but there's just so much of it.
And all that hair
is causing problems.
I mean, poor Gran and Sandy
are out there
fending off a hair-vasion.
-[growling]
-Fight to the last strand,
Sandy!
-I guess
what I'm trying to say isAh!
-Hey, Ugga.
-Ah!
-[wind blowing]
Grug! You have to
get rid of your beard!
-Why should I?
-Because,
I was just talking to
a mound of hair!
-And it was a much
better listener than you!
-For the last time,
I'm not shaving my beard!
This is me now!
So, get on beard!
See what I did there?
I said beard instead of board.
-Up top!
-Wrong answer.
Let's try this again.
[gasps]
[snoring]
How?!
Thank you for [spits] coming.
In case you were wondering
why we're [hacking]
meeting in secret.
[spitting]
It's about Grug's beard. Ah!
I can't get this hair
out of my mouth! Yuck!
-There's hair everywhere!
-It's worse than
the Great Moomoth Shedding
many moons ago!
So much hair,
it blocked out the sun.
-You know what has hair in it?
Everything!
I am not eating hair!
I won't! I can't!
-I dreamt I was buried in hair.
And then, my dream came true.
In a bad way.
-Sorry I'm late. Bad hair day.
Got caught in the hair-icane.
-Grug's luxurious locks may be
my crowning achievement,
but I'd like to take a shower
without feeling like I need
to take another shower!
-So how do we stop Grug's beard,
and, more importantly,
stop saying the word beard?
-I have a plan,
but it might get ugly.
-Like Dad's beard.
Yes! Beard burn!
[humming]
-[gasps] Ooh, pie!
[laughs] Wait a minute.
What's a pie doing
out here all alone?
Seems suspicious Eh.
[sizzling]
[voracious eating] Mm
What's a cage doing out here
all alone?
Seems suspicious
Wait. I'm in the cage!
-End of the hairline, Grug!
The beard's comin' off!
-In that cup is another
scientific masterstroke.
Betterman Bald Broth!
Take one spoonful,
and we all return to our
regular, less hairy way of life.
-[grunts]
-[Phil gasps]
-I'm not drinking that, Phil.
I like things hairy,
and your directions
are too confusing!
Plus, you think a cage
can hold my beard?
Think again! [straining]
-[Ugga gasps]
-[Phil groans]
If you can't accept me
with a beard,
then you don't deserve me
without a beard!
I'm leaving!
[yelps, grunts]
-Tripped on your beard again,
huh?
-No!
[angry breathing]
-Should we stop him?
-There's no stopping this, Eep.
We just have to let
the hair fall where it may.
[disgusted yelling]
-And I'm moving!
-Well, Beard,
it's just you and me now!
And nothing can stop us.
Except hairy feet!
But that's it!
[struggling, grunting]
[grunts] Beard! You're on fire!
Stop, drop, and roll!
[grunting]
-[sizzling]
-So we'll skip the fire.
But that's okay, Beard,
'cause we've got each other
for warmth.
And that, my friend,
is all we need.
[twig snaps, animal grunting]
Who's there? Hello?
-[growling]
-Ah!
[both grunting simultaneously]
-Ah! Are you Bigfoot?
-[growling]
Gran was right!
We look the same!
You know,
o-our feet aren't that big,
but our beards are!
Instead of Bigfoot,
it should be Beardfoot.
-[startled growl]
-Easy, big fella.
Or, uh, same-sized fella.
My name is Grug. What's yours?
[growling]
Growl? I like it!
Well, Growl, I guess
it's just the four of us now.
You, me, and our beards!
-High-five?
-[growling]
[laughs]
-[Grug grunting]
-[Growl growling, roaring]
[laughing]
Go deep!
[grunts]
-[laughing] Yeah!
-[panicked growling]
[both howling]
[laughing] Beard brothers!
[laughing]
[nervous growls,
relieved growl]
[both laughing]
[frightened snarls]
So then I said, "If you can't
accept me with a beard,
you don't deserve me
without a beard."
-[growls]
-It sure was a good line!
You know, people without beards
just don't get us.
Sure, the beard is hot,
and it smells like swamp,
and it's really itchy,
but it's mine.
They should get on
beard with that. Ha!
That's funny because I said
beard again instead of board!
[growls]
But they didn't get on beard,
so I left.
But now I'm thinking
if they won't let
the beard grow on them,
I shouldn't leave.
Theyshould leave.
So tomorrow morning, I'm going
back there to tell them that.
[roaring]
You know what? You're right.
You should come with me,
so they can accept you, too.
Beardfoot bros forever!
-[growls]
-Whoa.
High ten?!
I didn't even know
it went up that high!
[Grug and Ugga grunt]
-[gasps] Ugga!
-[Gran laughing]
-Oh! Sorry, Hope!
-It's okay, Ugga.
We all know you're on edge
because Grug chose his beard
over you.
[growls]
But let's get back to the game!
Everybody grab something stable
'cause you're
about to experience
some Guy-smic activity!
-Serve it, Easy Target!
[grunting]
[Eep yelling]
-All you, Dad! Huh?
-We win again.
-Maybe I should stop
passing it to Dad.
-You know, since he's not here.
-That's his choice.
No one told your dad to leave
the farm.
He's just being stubborn.
-Eh, I'm on the fence.
On the one hand,
there was hair everywhere.
On the other hand, hair hat.
Oh no! My hair hat
gave me hat hair!
Look away! I'm hideous!
[sobbing]
-Grug's stubborn,
but I'm sure he'll be back soon,
ready to lose the beard.
He's not unreasonable.
-Wrong!
I'm totally unreasonable!
-[Ugga gasps]
But that's just the cost
of doing beard business.
Because me and my beard
are a package deal.
And if it bothers you so much,
maybe you should leave the farm.
Huh?
-What now?
-Just to be clear,
I can't eat hair.
No matter what.
-I'll go talk to him.
-[growls]
-Dad?
-[gasps] Grug?
But you just went that way.
Eh. It doesn't matter.
What matters is you're here,
which means
you're ready to talk,
-and
-[growling]
And now, you're leaving again.
-[humming]
-And now you're back?
Grug! I can't ride this hair
roller coaster anymore.
-Are you ready to talk?
-Yeah. That's why I came back.
I just had a great idea.
-About how to
get rid of your beard?
-No. About how all of you
should grow beards!
-Like Growl!
-[growling]
[all yell]
-Is that Bigfoot?
You know Bigfoot?
-Yeah,
but his real name is Growl.
And he's my beard-buddy.
-Hair-five! [grunts]
-[growls]
-You bearded buffoon!
Bigfoot is a ferocious predator.
And likely fiercely protective
of his own kind.
Even the slightest
perceived aggression
could send this beast
into a violent rage.
-Slightest what?
-Aggression.
-No idea what you're saying.
-[groans] Aggression!
[roars]
-UGGA: Run!
-[all panting]
-[all screaming]
-[roaring]
[screaming]
[roaring]
[screaming, panting]
[all yelling]
[bouncing]
[panting]
-[yelling]
-PHIL: Don't worry!
I'll just activate
the cave security system!
-Now, which lever does that?
-[crank]
[club music]
[gasps]
I should really label these.
-[goat-like scream]
-[Phil screams]
[straining]
Oh. Problem solved.
Thanks to me!
-Yep. Way to go, Phil.
You saved us.
-[muffled roar]
-Huh?
For a little while.
-Grug, this is all your fault!
-[muffled roaring]
-My fault? How?
-I'm with you, Dad.
Just because you refused
to shave your beard
and went into the woods
and befriended Bigfoot
and invited him
to come home with you
and now we're hiding in a cave
so he doesn't kill us,
doesn't mean it's your fault.
Oh Yeah, it's your fault.
-[roaring continues]
-Maybe instead of
pointing fingers,
we should come up
with a solution.
-We have a solution.
-Great. What is it?
ALL:
Lose the beard!
-And how is that going to help?
-Because, you talking throw rug,
once Bigfoot realizes
you'renot one of his kind,
he'll leave you and,
more importantly, us, alone!
-In theory.
-[sighs]
-I guess I can't have my hair
and eat it, too.
-[retching] I know I can't!
-Now, take just one spoonful
-[gulping]
-Or drink it all.
-[smashing]
-[gasps]
[Grug straining]
[sighs]
[happy growl]
[happy roar]
-Growl,
I have something to tell you.
The thing is,
I'm not what you think I am.
I'm not a you. I'm a me.
And I don't need
a beard to be me.
-[confused, shocked growl]
-[ripping]
[confused growling, roar]
Easy, Growl. It's still me.
And even though I don't have
my beautiful beard
or my eyebrows,
we can still be pals.
[angry growling]
Hey!
Where are you going? [sighs]
-Yes!
We get to stop saying beard!
-And eat hair-free food!
-Yep! Our bad hair day
is finally over!
-Is it?
He looks like a giant thumb!
-And there's hair everywhere!
-Except on Grug!
-Are you okay?
-I'm cold. But, like you said,
it's hair. Who cares?
Hm. I do! I gotta go!
[panting]
-It's possible drinking too much
of both Betterman Broths
broke Grug's brain.
Broke it more, I mean.
[sad growling]
-GRUG: Hey, wait up!
-[startled growling]
I'm comin' for you, Growl!
[scared growling]
We don't need hair!
We have each other!
-So come back hair! Ha!
-[scared growling]
I said hair instead of here!
You get it!
Because Beardfoot bros forever!
[howling roar]