DC's Legends Of Tomorrow (2016) s07e04 Episode Script

1 All right.
We gotta ditch Hoover's car.
APB's probably already out on the Bullet Blondes.
It's fine.
From here, we'll just hop a train to New York.
Ugh.
Another train, must we? By my math, we should have enough left for three tickets.
The other half can hang out in John's portable phantom house.
I mean, it's technically my portable phantom house.
But, more importantly, does your math account for Gary's overly generous tipping? He gave our last waitress 20 bucks.
$20 that's over a quarter of our entire budget, Gary.
$20 for a six top seems fair to me.
Okay, so what's the damage? Do we have enough to get to New York? $35, that's enough for one ticket and a few meals, tipping like a normal person in 1925.
All right, I call phantom house 'cause I'm over trains.
We still have to get across town and on that train, without anyone recognizing us.
Shh.
Well, then we stopped at the right place.
Huh.
Oh.
I think, yes.
Yes, it's very cute.
But we need to hide the blonde, babe.
- How about this? - Yes.
Ah, yes, it worked.
Oh, no, no, no, no, no.
We're in the 1920s.
That is not the look.
Okay.
Sir, can we see all your wigs that are bobs? Um, hello? Potential customer here.
I asked you a question, which any good salesman would take as an opportunity to upsell your finest wigs? Is he Um, hello? Yeah, she asked you a question.
Oh, I'm sorry, miss.
I didn't realize she was with you.
These are the only bobs on display since most of you ladies chop and style your own.
That's not happening.
Well, of course, not with those gorgeous locks.
Let me see what I can find in the back.
Racist dick.
I'm sorry.
Let's just get these disguises and get outta here, yeah? Yeah, it's okay.
Sorry.
Is it just me, or We probably should have ditched Hoover's car before entering the city.
Yeah, come on.
Come on.
Hey, hey, hey.
The police found Hoover's car.
They are onto us.
We got to get out of here.
I've got bobs in the three different shades, a brunette, a redhead We'll take them both.
Oh, there's also a blonde.
No blondes.
Okay, how much for the two wigs? Wait a minute.
- Are you two - No.
They are definitely not the whatever you were gonna say.
Guys, we gotta hustle.
Okay.
Here's what's gonna happen.
You're gonna help us sneak out of here unnoticed, and we will buy these wigs at double wholesale.
Triple.
That is robbery.
Look, who's talking, Bullet Blondes.
They're crossing the street.
- You gotta be kid - Aves.
- Are you serious? - Give him the money.
- Ugh! - Go, just go, come on.
- Wig, wig, wig, wig, wig.
- Yeah, here you go.
Here you go.
Put it on.
- Thank you.
- Good, good, good, good.
He said they were the Bullet Blondes! They couldn't have gotten very far! This is literally our only option.
Great, then put the key in.
We can hide out here until the coast is clear.
- Hey.
- Hey.
You looking for the Sapphire String? - Maybe.
- You got the password? - Wh - Uh Swordfish.
- So he meant salamander.
- Satellite.
Sword fighter.
Are we doing this? Are we really fishing for a stupid password so we can get out of garbage alley? Gang, we're screwed.
We have no money, no allies.
This time period sucks for anyone who's not white, male, and rich.
And only one of us it's you is at least two of those things.
You said the password.
Come on in.
- Wait, what was it? - Password.
Ah, I see what you did there.
- Password.
- The password is "password"? Welcome to my club.
Name's Eddie.
Sorry it's a little quiet right now.
Running a little low on the drinks.
We're at a speakeasy.
A very inclusive one, considering.
Considering what? Well, the mob had a tight grip on these establishments and kept them segregated.
But it looks like we stumbled into one that caters to everyone, which is rare.
I guess that's why the password is "password".
- You play brother? - I noodle.
Come make us some pasta.
Well What have we got here? E flat? - E flat, brother.
- Classic.
Yeah.
This is so degrading.
This is so exciting.
Okay, look, we got through step one, sneak onto the train.
Step two is the ride to Chicago.
Steps? Who died and made you Ava? We're going to New York to prevent that from happening.
And that reminds me, don't talk to anyone any more than we have to.
We can't mess up the timeline.
Okay, Captain Sharpe.
That's Spooner Cruz.
The most important thing is to avoid any suspicion for sneaking onto the train.
- Tickets, please.
- Crap.
Let's go, let's go.
Tickets hey, hey, I need to see your tickets! You trying to sneak on my train without a ticket? What no, I just had it in my hands.
Yeah, maybe I dropped it while we were moving.
You're off the next stop.
Stella, why are you bothering this nice ticket man? I apologize if these three have given you any trouble.
These ladies are with you? You're looking at the best pianist, bassist, and clarinetist you'll ever hear.
Just ask my boyfriend, Mr.
Bottoni.
Of course, our train tickets are all in our manager's pocket.
You're welcome to wake him from his beauty rest.
But I have to warn you, he has quite the temper.
You all enjoy your trip.
I'm Maude.
And we're The Masqueradies.
Welcome to the band.
Any mention of an exploded Hoover? According to this, he's still alive and well and ready to take on the most notorious criminals, Capone and the Bullet Blondes.
It's only a matter of time, babe.
He's after us.
So there's a new and improved Hoover-bot? Great.
What else does the paper say? Oh, that we're bootleggers and robbers.
And, worst of all, we're sisters.
Sisters? We can't go on like this.
And we can't rob another bank because it'll call too much attention, and we have no money.
What are we gonna do? Well, maybe it's time to give our other enterprise a shot.
Wow, you made this yourself? Plenty more where that came from.
All we ask is access to your storage room for the night and 25% of the bar.
What do you want with my storage room? 20%, no questions.
We got a deal.
All right, let's move some booze.
The car was impounded an hour ago.
Your ears to the ground, boys.
Bullet blondes are in Chicago, and they're bound to make their move soon.
You really got us out of a sticky situation back there.
Oh, it was plain as day that you needed a hand.
Believe me, I've been there.
Gals help gals and make new pals.
That's how I see it.
If we don't look out for one another who will, men? Men don't look out, they look at, if you know what I mean.
You're referring to the rampant commodification of females by males that is a societal norm of this decade.
You talk funny.
I like it.
My name's Susie Spencer.
Susan Spencer.
Marries Colin Baker in 1928, has four children, retires in Florida, and dies peace That's enough talking, Gideon.
You're supposed to be resting your voice, remember? Oh.
Time to play the quiet game.
Oh, the game invented by parents to quell their irritating children, got it.
So you're a jazz band called the Masqueradies? I know it's a silly moniker.
We wear fancy masks as part of our shtick.
Not that it made a lick of difference on our East Coast tour.
We barely broke even.
You know how it is, being musicians yourselves.
She's resting her voice? Right, yeah.
Gideon here is the Lark of London.
Uh, Spoo Esperanza is her vocal coach.
And I am her manager, A manager? Oh, my, they do things differently in London.
- Don't they? - Yeah.
Between us gals, I would kill to have a woman managing our business.
Mm-hmm.
Donny over there is just an overpaid bodyguard really.
Is that so? Can I take a look at your contract? Sure, I have it right here.
That's a strange-looking compact.
Oh, yeah.
It's from California by way of China.
You know, business is really picking up in here.
Yeah, it's 'cause the word got out that we got the good stuff.
What can I get for you? Whiskey or the rocks or straight up? Oh, neither.
I don't drink.
For health or faith? - Faith.
- Okay.
Soda water with lemon on the house.
Thank you.
Salamati.
Salamati.
Helps to know cheers in different languages.
- I get all kinds in here.
- Yeah.
- That your brother? - Yeah, it is.
I've actually never heard him play like that before.
And you never will again.
Because what's going on up there is a one-time special.
Oh, right.
Those three guys are feeling the vibe, riffing off what the other guys are bringing to the moment.
You can't recreate that.
Yeah, well, where I'm from, we have a saying, "Pics or it didn't happen".
A picture couldn't describe the here and now.
Here, now, it forces you to pay attention.
Just let it roll on over you like a wave.
This is a catastrophe.
When did you sign this? About three years ago when we first formed the band.
Okay, good.
Hey, blubber butt, wake up! You don't wanna do that.
It says here that you're taking 60%.
Criminal, mind you, and yet you still don't have these ladies riding in first-class accommodation? Are you lazy or stupid or both? You're telling me how to do my job? What's a colored girl like you know anything about contracts? Where I'm from, managers and producers are a dime a dozen.
I learned from Phil Spector himself.
There's a clause here that says these terms expire after 24 months.
This paperwork is defunct.
So I suggest that you draw up a new contract that will actually benefit your clients, not exploit them.
You can't make me do anything.
True, I can't.
But she can.
You're fired.
What do you mean, fired? You are out of a job, you low life.
So we'll be taking these.
Permuto.
Would you look at that? These are for the first-class cabin.
Grab your gear, girls, you just got upgraded.
Cheers! Where's my wife? I want to brag to her about how I solved all our problems with some good old fashioned bootlegging She is taking a siesta in the mansion.
She said her wig was too itchy, probably synthetic.
I kinda wish we could stay longer.
Well, no can do, B.
Train for New York leaves at 8:00 a.
m.
We gotta find this Gwynn Davies guy, so he can invent us some time travel, and boom.
Here's the rest.
We got all we need you.
You keep it.
Thanks.
Hey, you sure you all can fit back there? No questions.
Well, tonight was eye-opening.
You all are welcome back anytime.
And I know you mean that.
Good luck, Eddie.
Eddie Been a while.
Evening, Mr.
Bottoni.
When I rented you this place it was just a bunch of curtains and a gramophone.
Now look at it.
Looks good, almost classy.
Thank you.
Things sure do change.
For example, I told you, you could rent my little space for cheap, and I'd supply you with your liquor.
And what do I hear but you got another source.
Eddie? My God.
Oh, my God, are you okay? Help! Help, we need help in here! Zari? He's hurt.
What? You're the Bullet Blondes? Oh, no.
- Eddie, what happened to you? - Yeah, who did this to you? You did.
We can explain.
I think I understand just fine.
You conned me.
You put me in the middle of a damn mob war.
And now, because of you, I don't own this bar anymore.
- How does that work? - My landlord, he's a mobster.
He found out I worked with you and took the whole thing back.
Everything I had was in this bar, and now it's gone 'cause of one night with you.
- Eddie - No, just go.
The mob will be here soon, so you better not be.
You're just going to let him leave like that.
What are we supposed to do? We can't take down the entire Chicago mob, our train leaves in a few hours.
A train we'd have no way of affording if it weren't for his help.
He's the only one who's opened his doors to us.
In fact, he's the only open-minded person we've met on this entire trip.
We have to fix this.
Yeah, but how? Money, money.
Money can fix anything.
If you hand me the reins for 24 hours, I will help Eddie make enough money to get back on his feet, and then some.
It's just, we said small footprints to the timeline.
Aves, we can't keep leaving the timeline worse than we found it.
This place is one of the few safe spaces that exist in this entire crummy time period.
I'm not gonna be able to sleep knowing we had a hand in destroying it, are you? Let's do it.
Thank you.
Zari's really wearing the pants on this mission.
I think I like it.
What could you possibly show me that's gonna change anything? Just patience, please.
You know, it's locked.
Can you help me find the key? Maybe over there? - A key? - Mm-hmm.
- Just around? - Mm-hmm.
You know what? I found it.
What is with you people and storage rooms? It's a fair observation, but just give it a chance.
Okay? Okay, picture the main dance floor here, a more exclusive lounge over here.
No smoking of course, but darker, sexier.
The bar over there.
Whoa, give me a second here.
Eddie, can I be real with you? I know a thing or two about throwing an excellent soiree, and I'm going to throw you the biggest fundraiser of the season.
Buddy, you are going to get a Zari party.
All aboard! Ms.
Beaumont, telegram for you.
Thank you.
Hurry up, ladies.
My honey's got a new club, and he wants us to perform tonight.
Ain't it great? You okay, hon? Yeah, just feeling a bit queasy.
You know, what'll help? A big plate of eggs, bacon, and hotcakes.
There'll be breakfast at the new club, I'm sure.
We should probably be on our way to New York.
Well, shucks, the train to the Big Apple leaves once a day at 8:00 a.
m.
It's half past already.
Damn it.
Don't fret.
You can just come with me.
No, we don't want to impose That sounds perfect.
There's nothing else to do other than wait around at the station, right? Well, aces, follow me.
My stomach's telling me something off with these guys.
Your stomach is telling you to get some free food.
Okay, Zari, things are coming right along.
That is good.
Need better than good.
I need epic.
I need a gimmick, a hook of I need a show.
B, Eddie? Okay, I need you guys to get out there and spread the word.
I have the one thing that's going to set this party off.
For one night, and one night only, the Bullet Blondes are going to put on the greatest show this town has ever seen, wha! Wait, we're gonna do what? So you're saying we can get the word out with just one guy? More than sure.
You want a secret kept? You make sure Ricky is the last one to know.
Mm.
Eddie, heard about the club.
Are you doing all right? Peaches, Ricky.
Say, can you keep a secret? The Bullet Blondes.
Really.
The password is Rutabaga.
- Rutabaga.
- Rutabaga.
- Rutabaga.
- Rutabaga.
Rutabaga.
Ain't this Eddie's place? Rehearsal in five, ladies.
Now let's see about getting you some breakfast.
Maude! Hi, baby cakes.
We're home.
A nice new spot you've got here.
Can't wait to get a wiggle on.
What's this I hear about you firing Donny? Donny was not a very good manager, baby.
See here, Ms.
Astra here helped me draw up new terms for a proper manager.
Give me that.
Garbage.
This is what happens when you do things without me.
I knew that the whole tour was a bad idea.
Your manager is whoever I say it is, understood? Yes.
I understand.
New band member? Put her up front.
Give the audience something to look at.
Tonight is a big night, baby.
Mr.
Williams from RCA will be here.
So get those getaway sticks to rehearsals so you can sing open his checkbook and get us a record deal.
Maude, wait.
Hey, what was that? What do you mean, hon? In front of your boyfriend, you just disappeared.
I know he can be a little rough sometimes, but he's just got his preferences.
You know how it is.
No, tell me.
He found me when I was nothing but a string bean with an undisciplined set of pipes.
I'm thankful.
I really am.
You heard.
Even RCA is coming to see little old me.
When he says "sing", I ask what song, What happens when you don't feel like singing? You just don't get it.
Ross loves me, and I owe him everything.
Ross? Ross Bottoni.
Lately, I've been rung around Tossed and turned about Could this be the end? Maude's boyfriend, I know him.
Ross Bottoni.
I met him in hell.
He talked about my getaway sticks, so I covered him in his worst fear, a thousand tiny spiders.
That man is a monster.
We have to help her.
Astra, if we try to rescue every woman in a bad relationship from here to New York, we'll never get a mile out of Chicago.
Maude chose this.
This is her life.
- She said so.
- Nobody chooses this.
They find themselves in too deep, and they have to grab onto whatever they can to keep from drowning.
That is not a choice.
That is survival, Spooner.
You know, maybe she'll be okay.
Gideon? What happens to Maude? Is this a test? I'm meant to be playing the quiet game.
Forget the quiet game.
Will she be okay? The body of Maude Beaumont will be found floating in the Chicago River December 18th, 1925.
Her death is ruled as a homicide, but no charges are formally brought.
Are you pretend? Astra I don't care if this is how it's supposed to happen.
I'm gonna save Maude, and there is nothing you can do to stop me.
Gary, I need you to make sure the silks are secure.
We can't have it falling down during the big show, yeah? Absolutely, Zari.
And can I just say, I think you're doing a fantastic job leading us on this mission.
I know.
It's pathological with you, isn't it? - What are you talking about? - You have a crush on Zari.
- What, no.
- Gary.
You know what's happening here.
It's not a real crush.
Zari's triggering your attraction to powerful people.
Think about it, Kayla, Ava, John Shh! She might hear you.
You get off being bossed around, you little sicko.
You're just figuring this out now? Gary, don't you want to be with someone who respects you for the alien you are? No, not really.
I'm worried about you, Gare.
I'm worried about you, too, but I don't go around shaming your pathology, do I? My pathology? What pathology? That you find yourself in these relationships that can't go anywhere.
So you don't have to put yourself in the vulnerable position of really giving yourself to another person because you have the excuse of timelines or totems holding you back.
What? Okay, gang! The Blondes have been rehearsing like crazy.
The mood is set.
And the whiskey is literally all you can drink.
Are we ready to party? I'm ready to party all night long because I'm in a relationship.
You do need to define what that means though? Define whatever you needed to define, but I needed to do it as a doorman with good vibes.
- Yes, ma'am.
- Yes, ma'am.
Hey, remember.
Good vibes.
No, great vibes.
Yeah, great vibes.
I can fix that.
I think.
Hey, Zari, do we have to do this in heels? Yes, it's a whole Is everything good? Eddie, everything is perfect.
It's a Zari party.
Hiya, Ross Bottoni.
You're here to hear my gal, Maude.
She's got the best pipes in the business.
Come this way.
We got a table for you in the front.
Maude, you have to leave.
Leave it be, will you? Can't believe I'm the first broad you ever met with a grumpy guy.
Besides, I'm not gonna hit the road right before the greatest show of my life.
If you stay, he will kill you.
Save the drama for the stage, honey.
It ain't gonna work on me.
Look, you know it's true.
You feel it in your gut every time you think of him.
It twists your insides every time he speaks.
You wanna vomit every time he touches you.
You're terrified.
And you should be.
There's a better life for you out there, Maude.
Trust me, I know.
This is crazy.
What about the performance? He's gonna know the second the curtain rises that something's up.
And the girls, he's gonna take it out on them.
We'll take care of Ross.
Just go, please, before it's too late.
Oh, thank you.
You know, I always said gals help gals and make new pals.
You gals are some of the best I ever met.
- Thank you.
- For what? She knew you were right.
And I guess I knew you were right, too.
Ladies and gentlemen, may I announce to you the lovely and mysterious, Masqueradies.
Okay, uh, maybe I can put a glamour on you, and then you can look like Maude, which means you can sing, and then I don't know the words to this corny song.
Why can't you do it? - Wait.
- Where's Gideon? Lately, I've been wrung around Tossed and turned about Could this be the end? It sounds like she knows the words.
To my genuine surprise I've met the gaze of those blue eyes Doll face, are you Pretend? She's my future favorite My love, no denying it So very dizzy for this dame Take me down the boulevard Then around this crazy world of ours Please don't say it's all a game Zari, what's with the face? - Look around, everyone's here.
- Yeah, I know.
I just, I know I'm missing something.
What am I forgetting? Me, me.
I'm forgetting me.
I should've been in hair and makeup.
Definitely done an outfit change.
Who cares? Look, what's happening tonight is a one-time special.
Be in the moment, here, now.
Let's dance before some blondes steal the show.
Okay.
Rutabaga.
Ladies and gentlemen, the silver shooting sinners themselves, the Bullet Blondes! - Rutabaga.
- Mm-hmm.
Last time you saw Zari, how did you end things? We're still together.
We didn't break up.
Yeah, but how's that working out? What is the plan there? Oh, my God, we love each other, Gary.
You're not answering my question.
It's not the not now, Gary.
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
You can't put it off forever, Nate! You need to discuss what it means to be all-in.
Otherwise, you will have one foot out of the door or totem.
Shut up, Gary! We've been forced to hide away Our hearts until a better day Now we are breaking down the door Stand clear, bearcats coming through My dear, I'm so in love with you Hotsie-totsie dancer on the floor She's my future favorite My love, no denying it So very dizzy for this dame Take me down the boulevard Then around this crazy world of ours Please don't say it's all a game - Whoo! - Whoo-hoo! Wait, where's Hoover? Time flies, so savor it Let's toast and raise ourselves a glass Cheers to all the memories Facing danger, solving mysteries In the present, future, and the past Sweetheart, our love is made to Sweetheart, our love is made to Sweetheart, our love is made to last Whoo! We're not sisters.
Yo, that was incredible, Gideon.
Way to put those pipes to use.
My voice was well-rested.
Way to croon, sweet cakes.
Come out front so the nice man can meet you.
What's the big idea? Where the hell is Maude? Far away from here by now.
Who the hell are you, and what happened to my girl? I'm Astra Logue, you idiot.
And Maude is gone.
You'll never see her again.
You think you're clever, huh? She'll come crawling back.
You know, where I grew up, we had this knack of finding out what people are most afraid of in the entire world.
And you think you're so tough and strong.
But I know the truth, what you're really afraid of.
Spiders, wasn't it? Yeah, right.
Really? You're not afraid of an infinite amount of tiny little spiders all over your body? Crawling under your skin, scurrying into your nose, ears, your mouth? You've seen what my friend and I can do, Ross.
So if you ever go after Maude, if you even think about her Spiders everywhere forever.
Gals help gals, you jerk.
No! Hey ladies, we're gonna try to make it to the end of the Blondes' set, do you wanna come? - What are you talking about? - Didn't you hear? The Bullet Blondes are putting on a performance right now at Chapeaux's.
We're gonna try to catch the rest of the party.
- Legends, vamanos.
- Go, go, go, go! Um You're right about me and Zari.
We are a bit stuck.
But I've been okay with it because, well, I'm afraid of what comes next.
Well, it sounds like you and Z need to have the talk.
And then Gare-Bear, he's here to talk after the talk.
Thank you, Gary.
It's enough for a small place, but that's all I need.
And I don't know how I'll ever repay you.
Oh, you just keep your doors open for all Chicago's misfits, and we will call it even.
No, no, no.
Guys, check the doors.
They were here.
Don't worry, Legends.
We're on our way to the Big Apple.
So I mean, technically speaking, using you two as bait to lure Hoover-bot here was an inadvertently brilliant stroke of genius on my part.
Well, you still got a couple of hours left of calling the shots, so I do appreciate the trust, Captain, but when it comes to robots, you're talking to the wrong Zari.
Oh, while I'm gone, will you guys keep an eye out for my cell phone? Bye.
Oh, what's up, guys? Huh.
What'd I miss? Greg, move your head.