Nurse Jackie s07e04 Episode Script
Nice Ladies
Previously on "Nurse Jackie" Help, my wife! Please help! I need help! Officer: Ma'am, are you in any way impaired? Diversion is gonna be hell.
You may not touch patients, and just so nobody mistakes you for a real nurse, lose the blue scrubs.
Miscarriages, especially in the first trimester, are very, very common.
One of the rules of diversion for Jackie is that she will have a designated monitor.
That must be hard for you.
I'm not gonna be the one monitoring her, you are.
I don't have anybody else to sell to.
I need money for my lawyer.
Where'd you score them? From this elderly woman that I take care of.
I think you're gunning to fire somebody today, and if it can't be Jackie, it might as well be me.
You're fired, effective immediately.
- All Saints is about to be sold.
- Are you kidding me? Hello, luxury condos.
( theme music playing ) ( man vocalizing ) This is a nice lady.
A hardworking public servant who was on a humanitarian effort to help the victims of Hurricane Penny.
And along the way, she stopped to save this nice lady from certain death on the Van Wyck.
Blood pulsing from a wound.
A husband pleading for the life of his wife.
And just one person comes to their rescue.
Just one.
Is it any wonder that that one person, Jackie Peyton, took something to smooth the edges? ( chuckles ) Heck, when I get on a plane, I take a Xanax, a Lunesta, an Ambien, wash it down with a fine Pinot and it's good night, Irene, am I right? Gratitude.
That's what we owe Jackie Peyton.
Dismissal with gratitude.
( gavel pounds ) And that gratitude only cost me 10 Gs.
Gs, huh? That's jailhouse lingo, isn't it? Yes, you know me, hardened criminal.
Yes, free criminal.
( laughs ) Very romantic.
Oh, brother, take a bow.
Thank you so much, really.
The money you owe me, you're lucky I even showed up today.
Um, excuse me, how much are we talking about here? Stay out of this, Eddie, please.
Jackie's 5,000 in arrears with another 10 due tomorrow to keep me on retainer.
Attorney-client privilege? If I don't get that money by tomorrow, you'll need a new attorney for your nursing license hearing.
Maybe your boyfriend here can help.
Wow, I hey.
Everything I have is yours, you know this.
I know, but you don't have a job, Eddie.
Yeah, well, you barely do either.
How are you even paying for this guy? You know the old lady I take care of in Harlem, Vivian? The one on all the benzos.
I fixed her dosage and sold the extra.
Did what you had to do.
My motion to dismiss was granted.
Now it's time for me to go back to work, full time.
Full pay.
You're an admitted drug abuser.
You stay in diversion until your hearing in three months.
My criminal case was dismissed.
Why do I still need a hearing? Diversion isn't as fast as our legal system.
Leave it open.
Okay, I want to ask you something and I need you to be honest with me.
Am I fighting for a job that will not exist in a few months? Speak plainly, Jackie.
All Saints is being sold to Norwegian developers.
They're turning the hospital into condos.
( laughs ) Okay, you didn't know, did you? There's nothing that goes on in this building that I don't know about.
Whatever angle you're playing, game over.
Carrie, you're young.
I'm youngish.
Our future is bright if we allow it to be bright.
You're asking me to marry you? Maybe, I don't know.
'Cause right now I want to marry you.
If that's not what you want, then you have to flip the script.
Since the miscarriage, I've been doing a lot of thinking about my future, my future with Carrie and ( sighs ) Coop, we're the authors of our own destinies.
Right? I want to try again.
I want the house in the country.
I want all those things that we talked about.
Well, why are you telling me? Tell her.
Lock it down.
You're right, I gotta lock it down.
During tough times, women respond to decisive action.
Take me and Jackie.
It might've taken us a while to get to where we are, but Jackie and I are solid.
Didn't you get fired because of Jackie? No, I got fired for handing Zoey a Xanax.
Yeah, well, I got this.
I'm the one who's employed.
Uh, Coop, I appreciate the gesture, but we're going Dutch.
I got a job interview today.
- That's great.
- Yeah.
You're not the only one with a plan, my friend.
I paid that ambulance man $100 to bring me here.
I want to see the head nurse.
#luckyday, I am the head nurse.
No.
There she is.
Can you tell me what medications you're taking? Well, there's the little blue ones, the big yellow one I have to break in half, and Mrs.
Green is on a regimen of beta-blockers and benzos.
A history of disorientation.
How do you know? I take care of Vivian in her home.
And I strongly suggest you give her something for her pain.
( whispers ) Jackie, a word in my office.
Okay, just two seconds.
- Oh, shit.
- Jesus, Mom.
I don't want to hear one word about some old folks' home.
Nobody is talking about assisted living.
I'm her mother.
I know her thoughts before she thinks them.
It wouldn't be the worst thing.
- Now, please, Jackie.
- Okay, one second.
Why don't we wait for Dr.
Roman's diagnosis? We can sit down with Charlane, we'll figure out what's best.
Okay? Just I was advocating for my patient.
You were advocating that your patient be prescribed narcotics.
You need to stay completely away from Vivian and her daughter for the rest of the day.
Vivian's scared, Zoey, and she trusts me.
- Uh, what is that? - Stickers.
I really want today to be different, so I went out and bought them.
I thought, "When Jackie does well, reward her.
" Yeah, well, I'm not seven.
Well, now you're not gonna get any stickers.
- I'm doing my best.
- Yeah, well, so am I, you know? I'm working two jobs, I am drowning in debt.
Meanwhile, you're head nurse.
Bet that came with a raise, right? Good for you.
( sighs ) How do you suggest I deal with Jackie? I wanted to try a positive reinforcement technique, but she beat me to it with her negativity.
Toilets and dead bodies.
That's the mandate.
Take the feelings out of it.
That's easier said than done.
Jackie's not the first person in my life to profoundly disappoint me, Zoey.
People like that you've just got to let go of or you spend a lifetime trying to fix them.
And you can't fix 'em.
( muffled ) Oh, my God.
It's like I'm still eating for two.
God, you want some of this? Carrie Crap.
I thought when you said lunch, you just meant, like, lunch.
In tough times, it's important to make a plan.
( coughs ) In a short time, we've made many.
Mm-hmm.
But there's one plan we haven't made.
Oh, my God.
Whoa, stand, stand.
- What is - I need you to stand.
- You don't want this? - No, I didn't say that.
You can't ask me here in all this traffic and pigeon shit.
Of course.
I I'm so sorry.
I can do better.
- My thoughts exactly.
- I will do better, you'll see.
( laughs ) I feel very good about this.
Where where are you going? I'm going to work at my workplace where I work.
- ( brakes squeal ) - Ah! Hi, sweetie.
Are you okay? My name is Jackie.
I'm a nurse.
This is Dr.
Cooper.
( groans ) We got him, Doc.
I need a backboard now.
Nurse: Call Trauma.
We've got incoming.
Nobody said anything about touching patients outside of the hospital.
- I was - I won't tell if you won't.
( chuckles ) Okay, what's going on with your mom? There's no broken bones, thank God.
But we are just dodging bullets.
She needs to be in a home.
Okay, let's talk about your options.
There are no options.
She fell down today, and yesterday she soiled herself and she sat in it for six hours.
I can come by in the evenings.
I can come by on the weekends My mother needs round-the-clock care in a place where she is not alone all day, in a place where she can have a staff to entertain her and feed her and handle the medications.
Oh, I can see the value in that.
- This is beyond what you and I can do.
- Yeah, I understand.
Look, I've taken care of all the arrangements, but I can't force her.
Okay, I will talk to your mom.
You need to go to her place and pack all the things that make her comfortable, okay? - Jackie? - Yes? Oh.
We discussed that you are not to talk to patients or their families.
I understand.
Uh, Charlane had a question.
You need to clean the lab and you need to clean it now.
I'm speaking with my mother's nurse.
- She's not a nurse.
- Excuse me? Not here, she isn't.
If you take a seat, I'd be happy to answer any questions you have regarding your mother's care.
Okay in two seconds, I okay.
Grace, hi.
Sweetie, is everything okay? Dad told me about your hearing.
I wanted to celebrate and take you to lunch.
Oh, uh So, um, Grace and I are gonna get some lunch.
Is that okay? The diversion program allows for a half-hour lunch once you've completed your duties.
Please clean the lab as I asked.
Sweetie, thank you so much.
Oh, honey.
I have to do what Zoey says, okay? Okay.
Okay, you're the best ever.
( whispering ) Please, this is a very complicated situation that we are all trying to work through.
When did you become an asshole? I did the scan.
Of course you did.
You still don't trust me, do you? Oh, I just have a hard time staying away from my patients, Coop.
Is that weird, being here with everyone treating you like shit? I look at you and it makes me feel bad.
That's funny.
That's exactly how I used to feel about you.
Jackie, why are you here if you can't do the thing you want to do so badly? Listen, I clean the lab, I pee in a cup, you know.
I come here every day so I don't use.
I'm telling you as a friend, that plan is kind of fucked.
Okay, thank you.
All I'm saying is if I suddenly woke up one day and found out I wasn't wanted here, man, I would walk out that front door and never look back.
Our first patient together, bike messenger, I told you to do the scan, you didn't, the kid died.
Today, you did the scan.
Why'd you have to bring that up? Because you got better.
I come here here every day so I can get better.
So I know, what places are completely off-limits for the proposal? Oh, God.
Um, off the top of my head, Union Square any kind of planetarium-type place, the Olive Garden, nature walks, nature trails, vista trails of any kind that I have to walk to.
You are so specific.
( laughs ) I love that about you.
( awkward laugh ) Okay.
If you don't want to get married, you have to tell him.
It's not nice.
Will you tell him? Why don't you just dump him in a place somewhere where he don't know nobody and nobody knows him? That's what the people who love me are doing.
Oh, my God, that is so perfectly sad.
( phone chiming ) Hello? Vivian, hi, it's Jackie.
I need you to look straight ahead.
I need you to listen to me, and I need you to not get angry.
You are such a fighter.
That's what I like most about you.
But going into a home for seniors is not something you should fight.
Medically, it's what you need right now.
I won't know anybody there.
This is why I'm going to take you there myself.
I'm gonna stay with you until you have made lots of new friends.
I will not leave your side until that happens.
Carrie, Carrie, ( laughs ) Carrie.
I got a call from a headhunter in Boston.
Oh, my God.
No! Chief internist, can you believe it? No yes, of course.
And I told them, in no uncertain terms that I had no interest in relocating.
My future is here with my prospective fiancée.
Oh, you're perfect.
Mm.
Wait.
I love you.
( exhales ) I love you, too.
But I think you should take the job at Mass General.
I didn't say it was Mass General.
You didn't have to, 'cause I knew.
'Cause I made the arrangements because I love you and I want you to have the future you deserve.
And it's not me.
You don't want me? Someday you will realize that I just did a very nice thing for you.
I've been thinking a lot about Jackie.
That could be a dangerous thing.
I'll test her fluids, track her progress, maybe provide a little bedside manner, but all that other stuff the cleaning, the dead bodies I'm not supervising that.
Jackie's actions have consequences.
So do mine.
This is not how I treat people.
I can't do what I do without caring.
I'm not a doctor.
Can we ease up a little, please? Could I have a word with you, please? In private? Coop just gave me his two weeks' notice.
Wow, I'm sorry to hear that.
He said he had a conversation with you that was a real eye-opener.
Did you tell him your little tale about the Icelandic condominiums? Norwegian? No, I did not.
- Did he say I did? - No.
Did you ask him? No, I didn't want to spread any unfounded rumors.
Well, then I guess you'll never know.
Being here, having no impact, I understand how hard that can be for a person like you.
But hear me, Jackie Peyton.
You are a nonfactor in this hospital.
( sighs ) ( soft music playing ) That's a lot of old people.
Okay, let's go.
Hello, can we play with you? What are you, some kind of dental technician? Uh, nurse.
She got me on my feet again.
Really, a nurse? - Can you tell me what these are? - Sure.
Uh, this is Vicodin, and it expired more than a month ago.
So I need to dispose of this properly, okay? So, everybody write down all of your medications and bring me a list so I can assess what's going on with each of you, okay? I will be back every Monday to check on all of you.
Okay? Is it true? I have no idea.
This is scary.
How the fuck do you plug this in? How you doing? How was your day? Oh, I spent the last three hours at the Hasty Hills Retirement Community - of Queens.
- Mm.
Yeah, I answered all their medical questions.
I listened to six different "how I got through the war" stories.
I danced a bunch of very slow polkas.
- And I came away with these.
- Oh.
Now all I want to do is eat them.
No, you mean sell them.
( groans ) I think I had a better day than you.
- Come.
- Do I have to get up? Yes.
I got a job.
- You did? - Yes.
That's great.
You are looking at the new Upper East Side rep for Illyria.
Pain management without all that pesky constipation.
You're a pharma-babe? Yeah, don't I have the look? And remind me to go to a meeting in the morning.
Sure thing, but first we have to call your drug dealer.
Yeah.
( inhales ) So, is there anything I should know about this guy? Who, Gabe? No.
He's surprisingly easygoing for a drug dealer.
Well, in my experience, that's not uncommon.
In your Your vast experience? I peddled herb in college, you know.
"Herb"? Well, pleasure doing business with you.
The pleasure's mine.
You look great, Jackie.
Ah, thank you.
You've got this really awesome glow.
Mm.
Why are you talking like that? Gabe has never seen me sober, that's all.
Sober Jackie.
I'd be down.
Excuse me? Oh, Jackie and I had a little fun in the day.
Oh, what What kind of fun? Let's go, Eddie.
It's time to go.
No, I don't think so.
What kind of fun, man? Jackie, tell the old man to simmer.
No, why don't you tell the old man to simmer, asshole? - Simmer.
- He's a dumb kid, Eddie.
Stop it.
Well, she didn't think I was so dumb when she was swinging on my jock.
Really, motherfucker? - Here, get out of the car.
- Jesus, Eddie, stop.
Get the fuck out of the car, buddy, come on.
- Stop it! - Fucking punk! Fucking sober people are nuts! You don't fucking know nuts, motherfucker! Eddie, he's a friend, stop.
- Not anymore, I'm not! - You fucking bitch! Fuck you, fucking trick! Oh, my God.
Jesus, what the fuck, Eddie? No, what the fuck, Jackie?!
You may not touch patients, and just so nobody mistakes you for a real nurse, lose the blue scrubs.
Miscarriages, especially in the first trimester, are very, very common.
One of the rules of diversion for Jackie is that she will have a designated monitor.
That must be hard for you.
I'm not gonna be the one monitoring her, you are.
I don't have anybody else to sell to.
I need money for my lawyer.
Where'd you score them? From this elderly woman that I take care of.
I think you're gunning to fire somebody today, and if it can't be Jackie, it might as well be me.
You're fired, effective immediately.
- All Saints is about to be sold.
- Are you kidding me? Hello, luxury condos.
( theme music playing ) ( man vocalizing ) This is a nice lady.
A hardworking public servant who was on a humanitarian effort to help the victims of Hurricane Penny.
And along the way, she stopped to save this nice lady from certain death on the Van Wyck.
Blood pulsing from a wound.
A husband pleading for the life of his wife.
And just one person comes to their rescue.
Just one.
Is it any wonder that that one person, Jackie Peyton, took something to smooth the edges? ( chuckles ) Heck, when I get on a plane, I take a Xanax, a Lunesta, an Ambien, wash it down with a fine Pinot and it's good night, Irene, am I right? Gratitude.
That's what we owe Jackie Peyton.
Dismissal with gratitude.
( gavel pounds ) And that gratitude only cost me 10 Gs.
Gs, huh? That's jailhouse lingo, isn't it? Yes, you know me, hardened criminal.
Yes, free criminal.
( laughs ) Very romantic.
Oh, brother, take a bow.
Thank you so much, really.
The money you owe me, you're lucky I even showed up today.
Um, excuse me, how much are we talking about here? Stay out of this, Eddie, please.
Jackie's 5,000 in arrears with another 10 due tomorrow to keep me on retainer.
Attorney-client privilege? If I don't get that money by tomorrow, you'll need a new attorney for your nursing license hearing.
Maybe your boyfriend here can help.
Wow, I hey.
Everything I have is yours, you know this.
I know, but you don't have a job, Eddie.
Yeah, well, you barely do either.
How are you even paying for this guy? You know the old lady I take care of in Harlem, Vivian? The one on all the benzos.
I fixed her dosage and sold the extra.
Did what you had to do.
My motion to dismiss was granted.
Now it's time for me to go back to work, full time.
Full pay.
You're an admitted drug abuser.
You stay in diversion until your hearing in three months.
My criminal case was dismissed.
Why do I still need a hearing? Diversion isn't as fast as our legal system.
Leave it open.
Okay, I want to ask you something and I need you to be honest with me.
Am I fighting for a job that will not exist in a few months? Speak plainly, Jackie.
All Saints is being sold to Norwegian developers.
They're turning the hospital into condos.
( laughs ) Okay, you didn't know, did you? There's nothing that goes on in this building that I don't know about.
Whatever angle you're playing, game over.
Carrie, you're young.
I'm youngish.
Our future is bright if we allow it to be bright.
You're asking me to marry you? Maybe, I don't know.
'Cause right now I want to marry you.
If that's not what you want, then you have to flip the script.
Since the miscarriage, I've been doing a lot of thinking about my future, my future with Carrie and ( sighs ) Coop, we're the authors of our own destinies.
Right? I want to try again.
I want the house in the country.
I want all those things that we talked about.
Well, why are you telling me? Tell her.
Lock it down.
You're right, I gotta lock it down.
During tough times, women respond to decisive action.
Take me and Jackie.
It might've taken us a while to get to where we are, but Jackie and I are solid.
Didn't you get fired because of Jackie? No, I got fired for handing Zoey a Xanax.
Yeah, well, I got this.
I'm the one who's employed.
Uh, Coop, I appreciate the gesture, but we're going Dutch.
I got a job interview today.
- That's great.
- Yeah.
You're not the only one with a plan, my friend.
I paid that ambulance man $100 to bring me here.
I want to see the head nurse.
#luckyday, I am the head nurse.
No.
There she is.
Can you tell me what medications you're taking? Well, there's the little blue ones, the big yellow one I have to break in half, and Mrs.
Green is on a regimen of beta-blockers and benzos.
A history of disorientation.
How do you know? I take care of Vivian in her home.
And I strongly suggest you give her something for her pain.
( whispers ) Jackie, a word in my office.
Okay, just two seconds.
- Oh, shit.
- Jesus, Mom.
I don't want to hear one word about some old folks' home.
Nobody is talking about assisted living.
I'm her mother.
I know her thoughts before she thinks them.
It wouldn't be the worst thing.
- Now, please, Jackie.
- Okay, one second.
Why don't we wait for Dr.
Roman's diagnosis? We can sit down with Charlane, we'll figure out what's best.
Okay? Just I was advocating for my patient.
You were advocating that your patient be prescribed narcotics.
You need to stay completely away from Vivian and her daughter for the rest of the day.
Vivian's scared, Zoey, and she trusts me.
- Uh, what is that? - Stickers.
I really want today to be different, so I went out and bought them.
I thought, "When Jackie does well, reward her.
" Yeah, well, I'm not seven.
Well, now you're not gonna get any stickers.
- I'm doing my best.
- Yeah, well, so am I, you know? I'm working two jobs, I am drowning in debt.
Meanwhile, you're head nurse.
Bet that came with a raise, right? Good for you.
( sighs ) How do you suggest I deal with Jackie? I wanted to try a positive reinforcement technique, but she beat me to it with her negativity.
Toilets and dead bodies.
That's the mandate.
Take the feelings out of it.
That's easier said than done.
Jackie's not the first person in my life to profoundly disappoint me, Zoey.
People like that you've just got to let go of or you spend a lifetime trying to fix them.
And you can't fix 'em.
( muffled ) Oh, my God.
It's like I'm still eating for two.
God, you want some of this? Carrie Crap.
I thought when you said lunch, you just meant, like, lunch.
In tough times, it's important to make a plan.
( coughs ) In a short time, we've made many.
Mm-hmm.
But there's one plan we haven't made.
Oh, my God.
Whoa, stand, stand.
- What is - I need you to stand.
- You don't want this? - No, I didn't say that.
You can't ask me here in all this traffic and pigeon shit.
Of course.
I I'm so sorry.
I can do better.
- My thoughts exactly.
- I will do better, you'll see.
( laughs ) I feel very good about this.
Where where are you going? I'm going to work at my workplace where I work.
- ( brakes squeal ) - Ah! Hi, sweetie.
Are you okay? My name is Jackie.
I'm a nurse.
This is Dr.
Cooper.
( groans ) We got him, Doc.
I need a backboard now.
Nurse: Call Trauma.
We've got incoming.
Nobody said anything about touching patients outside of the hospital.
- I was - I won't tell if you won't.
( chuckles ) Okay, what's going on with your mom? There's no broken bones, thank God.
But we are just dodging bullets.
She needs to be in a home.
Okay, let's talk about your options.
There are no options.
She fell down today, and yesterday she soiled herself and she sat in it for six hours.
I can come by in the evenings.
I can come by on the weekends My mother needs round-the-clock care in a place where she is not alone all day, in a place where she can have a staff to entertain her and feed her and handle the medications.
Oh, I can see the value in that.
- This is beyond what you and I can do.
- Yeah, I understand.
Look, I've taken care of all the arrangements, but I can't force her.
Okay, I will talk to your mom.
You need to go to her place and pack all the things that make her comfortable, okay? - Jackie? - Yes? Oh.
We discussed that you are not to talk to patients or their families.
I understand.
Uh, Charlane had a question.
You need to clean the lab and you need to clean it now.
I'm speaking with my mother's nurse.
- She's not a nurse.
- Excuse me? Not here, she isn't.
If you take a seat, I'd be happy to answer any questions you have regarding your mother's care.
Okay in two seconds, I okay.
Grace, hi.
Sweetie, is everything okay? Dad told me about your hearing.
I wanted to celebrate and take you to lunch.
Oh, uh So, um, Grace and I are gonna get some lunch.
Is that okay? The diversion program allows for a half-hour lunch once you've completed your duties.
Please clean the lab as I asked.
Sweetie, thank you so much.
Oh, honey.
I have to do what Zoey says, okay? Okay.
Okay, you're the best ever.
( whispering ) Please, this is a very complicated situation that we are all trying to work through.
When did you become an asshole? I did the scan.
Of course you did.
You still don't trust me, do you? Oh, I just have a hard time staying away from my patients, Coop.
Is that weird, being here with everyone treating you like shit? I look at you and it makes me feel bad.
That's funny.
That's exactly how I used to feel about you.
Jackie, why are you here if you can't do the thing you want to do so badly? Listen, I clean the lab, I pee in a cup, you know.
I come here every day so I don't use.
I'm telling you as a friend, that plan is kind of fucked.
Okay, thank you.
All I'm saying is if I suddenly woke up one day and found out I wasn't wanted here, man, I would walk out that front door and never look back.
Our first patient together, bike messenger, I told you to do the scan, you didn't, the kid died.
Today, you did the scan.
Why'd you have to bring that up? Because you got better.
I come here here every day so I can get better.
So I know, what places are completely off-limits for the proposal? Oh, God.
Um, off the top of my head, Union Square any kind of planetarium-type place, the Olive Garden, nature walks, nature trails, vista trails of any kind that I have to walk to.
You are so specific.
( laughs ) I love that about you.
( awkward laugh ) Okay.
If you don't want to get married, you have to tell him.
It's not nice.
Will you tell him? Why don't you just dump him in a place somewhere where he don't know nobody and nobody knows him? That's what the people who love me are doing.
Oh, my God, that is so perfectly sad.
( phone chiming ) Hello? Vivian, hi, it's Jackie.
I need you to look straight ahead.
I need you to listen to me, and I need you to not get angry.
You are such a fighter.
That's what I like most about you.
But going into a home for seniors is not something you should fight.
Medically, it's what you need right now.
I won't know anybody there.
This is why I'm going to take you there myself.
I'm gonna stay with you until you have made lots of new friends.
I will not leave your side until that happens.
Carrie, Carrie, ( laughs ) Carrie.
I got a call from a headhunter in Boston.
Oh, my God.
No! Chief internist, can you believe it? No yes, of course.
And I told them, in no uncertain terms that I had no interest in relocating.
My future is here with my prospective fiancée.
Oh, you're perfect.
Mm.
Wait.
I love you.
( exhales ) I love you, too.
But I think you should take the job at Mass General.
I didn't say it was Mass General.
You didn't have to, 'cause I knew.
'Cause I made the arrangements because I love you and I want you to have the future you deserve.
And it's not me.
You don't want me? Someday you will realize that I just did a very nice thing for you.
I've been thinking a lot about Jackie.
That could be a dangerous thing.
I'll test her fluids, track her progress, maybe provide a little bedside manner, but all that other stuff the cleaning, the dead bodies I'm not supervising that.
Jackie's actions have consequences.
So do mine.
This is not how I treat people.
I can't do what I do without caring.
I'm not a doctor.
Can we ease up a little, please? Could I have a word with you, please? In private? Coop just gave me his two weeks' notice.
Wow, I'm sorry to hear that.
He said he had a conversation with you that was a real eye-opener.
Did you tell him your little tale about the Icelandic condominiums? Norwegian? No, I did not.
- Did he say I did? - No.
Did you ask him? No, I didn't want to spread any unfounded rumors.
Well, then I guess you'll never know.
Being here, having no impact, I understand how hard that can be for a person like you.
But hear me, Jackie Peyton.
You are a nonfactor in this hospital.
( sighs ) ( soft music playing ) That's a lot of old people.
Okay, let's go.
Hello, can we play with you? What are you, some kind of dental technician? Uh, nurse.
She got me on my feet again.
Really, a nurse? - Can you tell me what these are? - Sure.
Uh, this is Vicodin, and it expired more than a month ago.
So I need to dispose of this properly, okay? So, everybody write down all of your medications and bring me a list so I can assess what's going on with each of you, okay? I will be back every Monday to check on all of you.
Okay? Is it true? I have no idea.
This is scary.
How the fuck do you plug this in? How you doing? How was your day? Oh, I spent the last three hours at the Hasty Hills Retirement Community - of Queens.
- Mm.
Yeah, I answered all their medical questions.
I listened to six different "how I got through the war" stories.
I danced a bunch of very slow polkas.
- And I came away with these.
- Oh.
Now all I want to do is eat them.
No, you mean sell them.
( groans ) I think I had a better day than you.
- Come.
- Do I have to get up? Yes.
I got a job.
- You did? - Yes.
That's great.
You are looking at the new Upper East Side rep for Illyria.
Pain management without all that pesky constipation.
You're a pharma-babe? Yeah, don't I have the look? And remind me to go to a meeting in the morning.
Sure thing, but first we have to call your drug dealer.
Yeah.
( inhales ) So, is there anything I should know about this guy? Who, Gabe? No.
He's surprisingly easygoing for a drug dealer.
Well, in my experience, that's not uncommon.
In your Your vast experience? I peddled herb in college, you know.
"Herb"? Well, pleasure doing business with you.
The pleasure's mine.
You look great, Jackie.
Ah, thank you.
You've got this really awesome glow.
Mm.
Why are you talking like that? Gabe has never seen me sober, that's all.
Sober Jackie.
I'd be down.
Excuse me? Oh, Jackie and I had a little fun in the day.
Oh, what What kind of fun? Let's go, Eddie.
It's time to go.
No, I don't think so.
What kind of fun, man? Jackie, tell the old man to simmer.
No, why don't you tell the old man to simmer, asshole? - Simmer.
- He's a dumb kid, Eddie.
Stop it.
Well, she didn't think I was so dumb when she was swinging on my jock.
Really, motherfucker? - Here, get out of the car.
- Jesus, Eddie, stop.
Get the fuck out of the car, buddy, come on.
- Stop it! - Fucking punk! Fucking sober people are nuts! You don't fucking know nuts, motherfucker! Eddie, he's a friend, stop.
- Not anymore, I'm not! - You fucking bitch! Fuck you, fucking trick! Oh, my God.
Jesus, what the fuck, Eddie? No, what the fuck, Jackie?!