Regular Show (2010) s07e04 Episode Script
Local News Legends
- Here's your coffee, sir.
- Ah.
Thank you, Margaret.
Hey, Marge, can you get me a latte while you're up? Please and thanks.
Of course.
Now, I think you all know that each and every one of you Is an important part of this team.
Which is why this last announcement Is for everybody here.
Channel 6 is looking for a fresh, edgy news segment, Something with "wow" factor, Something that screams weekly.
Now, as I said, this audition is open to everyone.
Just, uh, give us your footage in the next three days, And the person we choose gets their own weekly segment! Here's your latte.
Oh, life-saver.
Well, frank, chopper 6 has been fun, But it might be Jackie's time to shine.
I am gunning for that weekly news segment.
I mean I'm certainly deserving of it, H Seeing how I have never missed a day of work, Not to mention the traffic-y award I won.
Well, I think Margaret would have a shot If she tried out.
What?! No, I haven't even been here that long.
I mean, it would be amazing.
But there's no way I'm ready.
You think I was ready when I stepped on chopper 6 For the first time? I didn't even have my pilot's license, Or my contact lenses, But I flew her anyway.
Don't stop yourself from pursuing your dreams.
Well, I really would like that segment.
What's the harm in trying? That's my girl! But you have your license now, right? Let's go home.
Well, there could be plenty harm in trying.
Frank, frank? Okay, so they're looking for something With a "wow" factor.
You guys have any ideas that are, like, "wow!"? Maybe go cerebral, like with a think piece.
Maybe something like, "hmm," you know? 'Kay.
What else makes you guys want to watch the news? The car chases! Yeah.
And, then, when the cops are all like "Out of the car, dirtbag!" Yeah, dirtbags That's it! I'll go undercover To catch all of the dirtbags around the city.
Undercover reporter? Yeah, like with disguises and hidden cameras.
I want my segment to really help people, you know? I'll call it "Margaret always mar-gets the bad guy.
" I'm not loving the name, But I love seeing that fire in you, angel.
Say, frank, last time I checked, The mortality rates for undercover reporters was, uh, pretty high.
You sure you want to send your little angel out into that mess? It may be a little dangerous, but I believe in Margaret.
You know, the station has an anonymous-tip hotline.
I think that will give you a leg up on your story.
Yeah, that hotline gave me a good tip On steroid use in that curling championship.
It gets the del seal of approval.
Oh, del, you have done it again.
Come on, ring.
"Any tips yet?" Whoa! Hello? I've got a lead for you.
Meet me at the parking lot On the corner of elm and highland.
I'll be there.
Uh, are you You ever heard of cheezer's? Uh, yeah.
This is a corporate e-mail straight from the top.
You ever heard of a vegetarian sandwich With meat in it? What?! The cheese has been compromised.
Can I help who's next? Oh, hello, You whippersnapper.
I hope you take senior discounts here, Seeing as I am one.
Oh, we do, ma'am.
I can't wait to eat one of those vegetarian sandwiches.
Say, you haven't started putting meat in those, Have you? Oh, uh, no, ma'am.
Hat's funny, 'Cause this says differently.
Margaret always mar-gets the bad guy.
Do you want to add some jalapeño zingers And make it a meal? What?! No! This is the news! I got you! You got got! Hey, let me see this.
Oh, you should check your sources, lady.
This is a pretty old campaign.
See? "Cheezer's uses grade-a meat" "Less products!" I can't believe you fell for that! Next.
That was so embarrassing.
I'll have to go to that cheezer's across town now.
Hello? It's me.
You! This better be good.
Your last tip was a bust.
Cheezer's was clean.
That's what they want you to think.
Anyway, forget about cheezer's.
I've got something better.
Tomorrow at 10:00.
You know where to find me.
Hello? Where are you? Over here.
In this dumpster? No.
The other dumpster.
Ah.
Ever heard of, uh, gambling? Yes.
Well, word on the street is Is that the local park manager Is using taxpayer money To run a gambling ring inside the park.
Okay, now you're definitely wrong.
I know those guys, And there's no way They're running a gambling ring.
I don't believe you.
Well, maybe you'll believe this.
Follow the money.
Yeah, this one is the best gambler in town.
Nice.
How much did he run ya.
Couple hundred, But I got something out of it.
Read 'em and weep.
Ho, ho, ho! Does he count cards? Does a full house beat a straight? Hold it right there, swindlers! Huh?! Huh?! Margaret always mar-gets the bad guy.
- Ah.
Thank you, Margaret.
Hey, Marge, can you get me a latte while you're up? Please and thanks.
Of course.
Now, I think you all know that each and every one of you Is an important part of this team.
Which is why this last announcement Is for everybody here.
Channel 6 is looking for a fresh, edgy news segment, Something with "wow" factor, Something that screams weekly.
Now, as I said, this audition is open to everyone.
Just, uh, give us your footage in the next three days, And the person we choose gets their own weekly segment! Here's your latte.
Oh, life-saver.
Well, frank, chopper 6 has been fun, But it might be Jackie's time to shine.
I am gunning for that weekly news segment.
I mean I'm certainly deserving of it, H Seeing how I have never missed a day of work, Not to mention the traffic-y award I won.
Well, I think Margaret would have a shot If she tried out.
What?! No, I haven't even been here that long.
I mean, it would be amazing.
But there's no way I'm ready.
You think I was ready when I stepped on chopper 6 For the first time? I didn't even have my pilot's license, Or my contact lenses, But I flew her anyway.
Don't stop yourself from pursuing your dreams.
Well, I really would like that segment.
What's the harm in trying? That's my girl! But you have your license now, right? Let's go home.
Well, there could be plenty harm in trying.
Frank, frank? Okay, so they're looking for something With a "wow" factor.
You guys have any ideas that are, like, "wow!"? Maybe go cerebral, like with a think piece.
Maybe something like, "hmm," you know? 'Kay.
What else makes you guys want to watch the news? The car chases! Yeah.
And, then, when the cops are all like "Out of the car, dirtbag!" Yeah, dirtbags That's it! I'll go undercover To catch all of the dirtbags around the city.
Undercover reporter? Yeah, like with disguises and hidden cameras.
I want my segment to really help people, you know? I'll call it "Margaret always mar-gets the bad guy.
" I'm not loving the name, But I love seeing that fire in you, angel.
Say, frank, last time I checked, The mortality rates for undercover reporters was, uh, pretty high.
You sure you want to send your little angel out into that mess? It may be a little dangerous, but I believe in Margaret.
You know, the station has an anonymous-tip hotline.
I think that will give you a leg up on your story.
Yeah, that hotline gave me a good tip On steroid use in that curling championship.
It gets the del seal of approval.
Oh, del, you have done it again.
Come on, ring.
"Any tips yet?" Whoa! Hello? I've got a lead for you.
Meet me at the parking lot On the corner of elm and highland.
I'll be there.
Uh, are you You ever heard of cheezer's? Uh, yeah.
This is a corporate e-mail straight from the top.
You ever heard of a vegetarian sandwich With meat in it? What?! The cheese has been compromised.
Can I help who's next? Oh, hello, You whippersnapper.
I hope you take senior discounts here, Seeing as I am one.
Oh, we do, ma'am.
I can't wait to eat one of those vegetarian sandwiches.
Say, you haven't started putting meat in those, Have you? Oh, uh, no, ma'am.
Hat's funny, 'Cause this says differently.
Margaret always mar-gets the bad guy.
Do you want to add some jalapeño zingers And make it a meal? What?! No! This is the news! I got you! You got got! Hey, let me see this.
Oh, you should check your sources, lady.
This is a pretty old campaign.
See? "Cheezer's uses grade-a meat" "Less products!" I can't believe you fell for that! Next.
That was so embarrassing.
I'll have to go to that cheezer's across town now.
Hello? It's me.
You! This better be good.
Your last tip was a bust.
Cheezer's was clean.
That's what they want you to think.
Anyway, forget about cheezer's.
I've got something better.
Tomorrow at 10:00.
You know where to find me.
Hello? Where are you? Over here.
In this dumpster? No.
The other dumpster.
Ah.
Ever heard of, uh, gambling? Yes.
Well, word on the street is Is that the local park manager Is using taxpayer money To run a gambling ring inside the park.
Okay, now you're definitely wrong.
I know those guys, And there's no way They're running a gambling ring.
I don't believe you.
Well, maybe you'll believe this.
Follow the money.
Yeah, this one is the best gambler in town.
Nice.
How much did he run ya.
Couple hundred, But I got something out of it.
Read 'em and weep.
Ho, ho, ho! Does he count cards? Does a full house beat a straight? Hold it right there, swindlers! Huh?! Huh?! Margaret always mar-gets the bad guy.