Star Trek: Deep Space Nine s07e04 Episode Script

- Kira to Sisko.
|- Go ahead, Colonel.
Captain Solok of the starship|T'Kumbra is here to see you.
Send him in.
Welcome to Deep Space 9, Captain.
- Your welcome is acknowledged.
|- Have a seat.
- lt's been a long time.
|- Ten years, two months, five days.
- You don't know it to the minute?|- Of course l do.
But humans are often|irked by such precision.
Especially the more emotional humans.
Our repair list.
l understand you've been honoured with the Christopher Pike Medal|for Valour.
Congratulations.
Thank you.
And congratulations to you.
- l heard you received it last month.
|- My second, actually.
The T'Kumbra has been in combat|for over six months.
Being behind the lines|will be a welcome change.
This isn't exactly safe.
|We've seen our share of action.
Of course you have.
We can upgrade your inertial dampers|by the end of the day but to begin to overhaul your warp core|would take at least a week.
- That is most inefficient.
|- War is an inefficient business.
A somewhat unprofessional attitude.
However, l expect|a lack of professionalism and efficiency on starbases run by human officers.
You're welcome to take your ship|to a Vulcan station.
There's one about 50 light years away.
But if you plan to stay here with us,|''behind the lines'', the Chief will see to your requests.
Very well.
There is another matter|not listed on the formal report.
l need use of a holosuite.
|Our holodecks are under repair.
To arrange holosuite time, see Quark.
|He owns the only ones here.
Then l will speak to Quark.
l have created a special program|for my staff and they are quite eager|to resume using it.
ln fact, you may find|the program of some interest.
lt is based on an Earth game.
What game would that be? Colonel, assemble the senior staff|in the wardroom.
Now.
As you probably know, the starship|T'Kumbra is docked at our station.
Their captain considers his crew, an all-Vulcan crew, by the way,|to be the finest in the fleet.
l think the people at this table comprise|the finest crew in the quadrant.
You won't get much|of an argument from us.
l didn't think so.
|So when their captain challenged us to a contest of courage, teamwork|and sacrifice, l accepted on your behalf.
- We will destroy them.
|- l was hoping for that.
- So when is this clash of the Titans?|- Two weeks, in holosuite 5.
What's the contest? Baseball.
Chapter 25.
|''The infield fly rule is invoked ''when first and second bases|are occupied, ''or first, second and third base|are occupied'' - What if there is a runner at home?|- There's never a runner at home.
''and fewer than two outs,|the batter hits a high fly '' ''Fly: the term for a batted ball|while it is in the air.
'' Right.
''fewer than two out,|the batter hits a high fly, ''which can readily be caught|by an infielder ''or the pitcher or catcher|inside fair ground.
''The batter is called out|whether the ball is caught or not.
'' That seems simple enough.
''An attempt to bunt, however,|under the conditions noted above, ''which results in a fair fly|shall not be regarded an infield fly.
'' What's a bunt? A ball that has been tapped|between the pitcher and the catcher to force the fielding side|to throw out the batter - and allow a runner to advance.
|- Right.
Chief, what's a grand slam? A home run that's hit when the bases|are crowded.
Right.
Except it's ''bases loaded''.
|Nowwhat's a Fancy Dan? - You're making that up.
|- l am not.
Hi.
Jake told us about the game|against the Vulcans.
lt sounds really exciting.
- You should come watch.
|- ''Fancy Dan: ''A fielder who puts an extra flourish|on his movements ''to gain the approval of the spectators.
'' We were thinking of more than watching.
lf we can.
That is, if there's still room for|other potential players to possibly try We want to try out.
Captain Sisko and Jake play baseball|and it brings them closer.
Nog and l haven't seen each other|much lately.
This might be good for us.
And l decided to make it|a complete family outing.
- That is so sweet.
|- lsn't it? lt's idiotic.
|You'll make a fool out of yourself.
l will not.
You can barely spin a dabo wheel,|much less kick a ball.
Shows how much you know.
|You don't kick the ball.
Do you? - You won't make the team.
|- At least we're trying out.
Are you? l don't have the slightest interest|in this human game.
You know why?|Jake says it's a game that takes heart.
You sold yours a long time ago.
|Come on, Rom.
- What time are tryouts?|- 1300.
Holosuite 4.
Hey, hey! All right! Ha, ha! Whoo! Yes! First day of practice!|lt's an exciting time, am l right? - Oh, yeah!|- Yeah! There we go! That's the spirit! Let me introduce you to our pitcher and|secret weapon - Jake ''Slider'' Sisko.
Good luck, Jake.
All the other positions|are open for tryouts.
Everyone here has seen at least|one baseball game in the holosuite.
l know it looks simple.
You throw the|ball, you catch the ball, you hit the ball.
But it is not that easy.
|lt's a difficult game, even for seasoned professionals|who spent their lifetime practising.
We have less than two weeks|to build a team and face the opponent.
Now, l know what|some of you are thinking.
''How can we beat the Logicians?|They're all Vulcans! ''They're stronger and faster|than any one of us, except for Worf ''and our genetically enhanced doctor.
'' But there is more to baseball|than physical strength.
lt's uhit's about courage.
And it's also about faith.
And it is also about heart.
And if there's one thing|our Vulcan friends lack, it's heart.
l think we can beat them.
l know we can beat them.
We are going to beat them.
Am l right? - Yeah!|- l can't hear you.
- Yes, Sir!|- Are we going to beat the Vulcans? - Yes, Sir!|- All right, let's play some baseball! First l want you to pair off.
Spread yourselves about|ten metres apart and play some catch.
Just a little throw and catch.
|Nice and easy.
You almost had it! l said throw it here! Don't throw it to her!|Throw it to someone's who's looking! Come on, Quark.
This is going to be|two long, hard weeks.
Jake, l don't care how hard|and long these two weeks are.
l am not going to lose|to Solok in a baseball game.
We' re going to win.
- Umpire?|- That's right.
Will you do it? Wouldn't a holographic umpire|be more accurate? l don't want a computer calling baseball.
|That's something Solok would do.
l want a real person, not a collection|of photons and magnetic fields.
l also want a person|who can be completely impartial, and l can't think of anyone l trust more.
That's very flattering.
lt's the truth.
Will you do it? - All right.
|- Outstanding.
Here are the rules.
l'll be with the team in the lnfirmary.
- The lnfirmary?|- We had a few problems at practice.
Remember, the game|is in less than two weeks, so you better start to work|on your moves.
My moves? l can't believe this.
|l remember being an athlete.
My third host, Emony,|was an Olympic gymnast.
l kept expecting my legs to react like|hers did, but l fell all over myself.
- l don't know my own body anymore.
|- l don't know why you're complaining.
At least you didn't require|major surgery.
Knitting together a couple of bones|is not major surgery.
lt is if the bones|are in the back of your skull.
l hope you've learned your lesson.
Look behind you before swinging a bat.
- How are my casualties doing?|- We'll live.
l'm not sure l'm going to make it.
That's the spirit, old man.
|Don't lose your sense of humour.
Hey, Chief, how's the shoulder? His rotator cuff was badly torn.
Can't you repair the damage?|l need him on third.
The ligaments need time to knit|with the clavicular joint.
- l can't let him play baseball.
|- Damn! Sorry, Sir.
|l was looking forward to the game.
There's an old saying:|''Those who can't, coach.
'' You are batting, pitching|and first base coach.
Great.
Which one was first base? We'll go over that again later.
Practice tomorrow morning at 0730.
- Don't be late.
|- We'll be there.
Excuse me.
l have to|realign Worf's zygomatic bone.
Tell him l'm sorry.
We can move Ezri over to third.
No, l need her in centre.
|l know who we can get.
- l'll have to pull some strings.
|- Who? - Welcome home.
|- Music to my ears.
Does this mean you missed me? Like a piece of my heart was missing.
Sweet words and flowers too?|Are you feeling all right? You're back.
l feel outstanding.
- l could get used to this.
|- You should.
- Are you going to be here long?|- Three runs have been reassigned.
Bureaucrats.
|Who knows why they do anything? So what are we going to do|with all my time off? - l have a few ideas.
|- l bet you do.
So tell me, how's your|throwing arm holding up? That's what l was talking about! All right, heads up, people.
There's|a runner on first and one away.
l got it! l got it! l got it! - How many is that?|- Today? l think he's missed ten.
All right.
Batting practice.
- What's he doing here?|- He's scouting us.
lf he is taking the time to conduct|reconnaissance, he must be worried.
He should be.
Next week, that man is|going to get a painful lesson in humility.
Batter up! Today l'm going to hit the ball.
|You just watch.
All right, Rom.
|Keep your eye on the ball.
Follow the ball from the pitcher's hand|all the way to the bat.
Oh! - Sorry.
|- You can do it! - Hang in there, Rom!|- All right, Rom! Uh-oh.
Sorry.
- That's it.
You're done.
|- l'll do better tomorrow, Captain.
- No, you won't.
You're off the team.
|- Can't you give him a - ls anyone talking to you?|- l can't play? That is the smartest thing you've said|all week.
Get your gear and go.
Worf, you're up! - Captain Sisko hates me.
|- He doesn't.
He was just blowing off steam.
|He'll get over it.
l'll go talk with him.
|Maybe he'll change his No! He'll kick you off the team too.
l don't care.
|lf you can't play, l won't either.
- That goes for me too.
|- And me.
- And us.
|- Benjamin was out of line, Rom.
This game is supposed to be fun.
So we're quitting|unless he reinstates you.
- No! Please!|- Rom, we're on your side.
l had my chance|but l wasn't good enough.
The Captain's right.
l don't deserve to be on the team.
|You've earned it.
Playing baseball means nothing to me.
But you're good at it.
So are you.
|And l want to see you play.
l want to see all of you play.
l want to|see our team beat the Vulcans.
Even if l'm only watching from the - The stands?|- Right.
Please.
lf that's the way you feel about it.
Rom, there are moments when|l know exactly why l married you.
- What are you eating?|- l'm chewing.
- What?|- Gum.
- l had the replicator create some.
|- They just chewed it? No, they infused it with flavour.
- What did you infuse it with?|- Scotch.
Here.
Try some.
You got a runner on first and second,|one away.
Ground ball to the second baseman.
|Kira? Double play, unless the runner on third|is already on his way home.
OK.
Relax.
Keep your weight on|the balls of your feet.
Back elbow up.
There.
Good.
Faster! Come on! Faster! - l got it!|- Mine! - Don't look at me!|- You called it! That was yours all the way!|Come on, Julian.
Safe! Safe! Safe! You're out! You're out! - That's quite a knot.
|- Aargh! Your back is like a minefield|of bruised muscles.
Tell me something l don't know.
OK.
You're lifting your foot up|at the plate.
- What?|- OK.
Take a swing.
Stop! Look.
You're lifting|your foot in the back swing.
lt's messing up your rhythm.
Not that bad.
That's the l-want-to-smash-something-|but-she'll-think-l'm-crazy look.
Don't let me stop you.
|Smash away if it'll make you feel better.
The only way l'll feel better|is to beat Solok.
So do l get to hear|the Solok story now? Remember that if you don't tell me,|you won't have a third baseman.
We were together at the Academy.
One weekend l was with friends at|an off-campus bar, the Launching Pad, and Solok came in|with some Vulcan cadets.
He said they were doing research|on illogical human bonding rituals.
We didn't take kindly to that.
- And you'd had a few drinks.
|- One or two.
We got into a debate.
Solok said|that Vulcans were naturally superior to humans and other|''emotionally handicapped'' species.
Of course l took the opposite position.
|So there l am drunk, and debating|logic versus emotion with a smug and sober Vulcan.
Well, to make a long story short, l decided the best way to prove|that humans were the equal of Vulcans was to challenge him|to a wrestling match.
l wanted to wipe that arrogant look|off his face, so l challenged him.
And? l ended up in the lnfirmary with a separated shoulder, two cracked|ribs and a very bruised ego.
Oh, Ben.
l don't mean to laugh,|butwhat did you expect? A Vulcan has three times the strength|of a human.
And they're faster too.
But you're right.
|l got what l deserved.
And if it had ended there,|it would have been fine.
But it didn't.
Solok took every opportunity|to remind me of our match.
He'd point me out|as l walked across the campus.
He wrote five psychology papers|about our match.
l became the living embodiment of|why Vulcans were superior to humans.
You don't mean he was gloating?|A Vulcan? That's exactly what l mean.
|He hid it beneath that Vulcan calm but he loved every minute of it.
You'd think that once we graduated|it would've stopped.
But it didn't.
Solok's written over a dozen papers|on Vulcan/human comparative profiles, and in the beginning of every paper, is an analysis of|that damned wrestling match! Now he comes to your station and says|he's put together a baseball team.
He doesn't care about baseball.
|He just wants to rub my nose in it.
But now he is using my game!|My game! Tell that to the Niners.
They don't know|why you're so caught up in this.
No.
l'd rather they think|l'm just caught up in a baseball game than pursuing an adolescent rivalry.
Just tell them the truth.
They need|to know how personal this is to you.
Oh, no.
No.
l mean it.
|And you can't tell them either.
l want you to promise me.
All right.
l promise.
Keep this under your hats.
Curzon and Jadzia always wondered|why Benjamin hated Solok.
He's embarrassed.
|He calls it an adolescent rivalry, but Solok keeps it going.
Now he's trying to beat|the Captain at his own game.
- lt is a dishonourable motive.
|- l'm starting to hate him.
- What are we going to do about it?|- l'll tell you.
We go out there and put that Vulcan|in his place.
We win it for the Captain.
And for all our|''emotionally handicapped'' races.
Now there's something|worth fighting for.
Right? - Niners.
|- Niners! OK, Niners.
Let's go.
Come on.
|Show these guys.
Let's dispense with the crowd.
My team's never played|in front of people before.
lf you wish.
|Computer, eliminate the spectators.
Play ball! Batter up! - Niners, let's hear some chatter.
|- Hey, batter! Hey, batter, batter, batter.
- Death to the opposition.
|- Hey, batter.
Strike him out! Lucky swing.
All right.
Hey, don't worry.
|You'll get the next one, OK? - OK?|- OK.
All right.
You're making mental errors|out there! Stupid mistakes! Think about what you're doing.
Charge the ball,|don't wait for it to come to you! Ezri, you're playing too deep! - They rattled you.
|- They're pretty good.
What are talking about? Stop admiring|them and start striking them out! - Batter up.
|- Let's play ball.
Strike three.
Strike three! Strike three! Let's go! Out! - You want to try that again?|- Colonel, stay cool.
- Don't get yourself thrown out.
|- l wouldn't dream of it.
You're out, by the way.
Play ball.
- Was that slide at second legal?|- lt doesn't seem very sporting.
These guys are playing to win.
|Sporting doesn't enter into it.
Safe! lt's about time! - Strike one.
|- lf you're not there, let it go.
Don't reach for it! - Ball one.
|- Hey, now.
Good eye, Worf.
- Ball two.
|- Keep your eye on the ball.
Foul ball.
Strike two.
Big stick.
Good eye, Worf.
- Ball three.
|- Time.
Time! - Let's go, batter.
|- Do not rush me.
- Strike three!|- What? That ball was half a metre out.
lt wasn't a strike! Reverse the call! - That was low and outside!|- The ball was clearly outside.
lt wasn't over the plate.
|Were you regenerating? - lt caught the outside corner.
|- Outside corner?! We have two men on! Gentlemen, you are trying my patience.
You stole the run from us just as if you'd reached up|and tore it off the scoreboard! - You.
You're outta here!|- What? ''No player shall at any time make|contact with the umpire in any manner.
''The prescribed penalty for the violation|is immediate ejection from the game.
'' Rule 4.
06, subsection A,|paragraph four.
Look it up but do it in the stands.
|You're gone.
lt was a ball.
lt was no strike.
l know it was a ball.
Chief, l think that means|you're in charge now.
You're right.
What are you standing around for?|Never seen a man thrown out? Get your gloves on and get on that field.
|Let's go! Quark, wake up.
You're in right.
Julian, you're on second.
Leeta,|you're in left.
We got a game to play.
Come on.
Move it.
Play ball.
Ball one.
Strike one.
- Grab it, Ezri!|- Back, Ezri, back! - Go, go, go!|- All right! Now that is a Fancy Dan! All right! Batter up! Home, Worf! Bring it home! What's wrong? - He didn't touch home, Nog!|- ls that true? - What do l do?|- Find him and kill him! Just tag him out! Jake, cover home! - Which one?|- Tag them all! Come on, Nog.
Hurry up! No.
Tag the next one.
Jake! - He's out!|- You're out! - Yeah, Nog! Well done!|- Great catch! He's out! Did you see that?|That's what l love about this game.
You never know|what's going to happen next.
lt looks like a lot of fun.
Rom, come here.
Let's go.
Where are we going? Safe! Chief? Chief! - Call time out.
|- Why? - You're making a substitution.
|- What? Time! Time! You're up, Rom.
But we've got a man on third.
|We could score.
Sit down, Quark.
Go ahead, Rom.
You can do it.
All right, Dad! Come on! You can do it! Computer.
Your attention, please.
Now pinch hitting|for Jake Sisko, No.
13, Rom.
Come on, Dad.
You can do it.
l hope.
Strike one! Come on, Dad! - Come on, Rom.
|- You can do it! Strike two! lt's OK, Rom! Julian.
What was that thing called when you|just tap the ball down the baseline? - A bunt?|- That's it! A bunt! We've got to give him the sign.
Rom! What? Go! Go! Safe! - Rom, you did it!|- All right, Rom! Umpire, this is completely improper!|The game is not over! You're gone! - Jake, that was a hell of a game.
|- l gave up ten runs.
lf Vulcans were humans,|you'd have held them to two or three.
- When you put it that way|- Yes.
Now.
Pardon me.
|l owe you an apology.
No.
Unless you really want to.
l'm sorry.
Apology accepted.
lf you have some time one day,|maybe you can teach me how to bunt.
Sure.
- What's a bunt?|- Oh! That's my dad.
l fail to see why you are celebrating.
The Ferengi's bunt was an accident.
|And you still lost the game.
You are absolutely right.
|And l couldn't be happier.
Quark, a round of drinks|for the house on my tab! l'm way ahead of you.
You are attempting to manufacture|a triumph where none exists.
- l'd say he's succeeded.
|- To manufactured triumph.
- Manufactured triumph.
|- Here, here! This is a typical human reaction,|based on emotionalism and illogic.
- Did l hear irritation in that voice?|- Certainly not.
That sounded|positively defensive to me.
- With a hint of anger.
|- And a touch of jealousy.
- And bitterness.
|- Are you always this emotional? l refuse to engage in|this human game of taunting.
Human? Did l forget|to wear my spots today? He still doesn't know|what a human looks like.
Captain.
Here's something else|for your desk.
Well, will you look at that.
Would you like to sign it?