The Neighborhood (2018) s07e04 Episode Script

1
Calvin, I thought you
never cleaned the smoker.
Yeah, Pop, you said
it ruins the flavor.
Well, I had no choice.
Dave smoked a bunch
of eggplant on here.
I'm sorry, baby.
No, no, the meat coming soon.
No, the meat
Yes, it is.
I'm gonna get you some meat.
I'm gonna get you some meat.
Yes, I am. Yeah
Should we leave you two alone?
Look, man, I'm just excited.
This is Daphne's first yardecue.
You know, one day
all this is gonna be hers.
Daddy, she's 26 days old.
She won't remember any of this
or eat any of the food.
You don't know that.
In some countries
they give babies a rib
instead of a pacifier.
What country is that, Pop?
I don't know, Malcolm.
Maybe a country where the kids
don't question their parents.
Daphne, that's your grandfather.
Don't take a pacifier from him.
[BABBLING]:
Don't you take that baby
Mmm. Well,
look at you, Malcolm.
I like that color on you.
It brings out your eyes.
[CHUCKLES]
Uh uh, thank you, Miss Kim.
And all that wagon
you dragging.
Good afternoon, Calvin.
Oh, damn, I ain't even got my phone
to pretend like I'm on my phone.
Hey, Miss Kim. How you doing?
Oh, is it yardecue time
again already? [CHUCKLES]
- Time sure flies.
- Yep.
What you want me to bring?
My, um,
asparagus macaroni loaf
or my oatmeal-crusted shrimps?
Well, that's a toughie.
Both it is.
- Question.
- Mm-hmm.
You know how you always have
those bags under your eyes?
Yes, I'm sure
it's a fraudulent charge.
- Mom? You busy?
- Very.
How would I spend
$2,300 at a Dollar Tree?
I'd own the store.
Wh-Where do we keep the lighter fluid?
Check in the garage behind the
Wait, why?
What? No, I would remember
buying a whole store.
I'll be in the garage.
Stop. Don't go to the garage.
- [KNOCKING ON DOOR]
- Get the door, please.
No, do not put me on a brief hold.
GROVER: Hey, Miss Kim.
- Do you have a lighter on you?
- No lighters.
Yes, yes, I'm still here.
Miss Kim, this is not a good time.
Gemma, it's always a good time
to work on your appearance.
[CHUCKLES] I already bought
your exfoliating cream
and your foot scrub,
so I'm good, bye-bye.
But if you give me 15 minutes,
I'll take five years off your face.
I don't have 15 minutes.
Girl, you should always
make time for me time.
Girl, I said no, thanks.
But your face is saying
I don't want
any of your crap. Goodbye.
Welcome to the block,
welcome to the neighborhood ♪
Welcome to the hood. ♪
Gemma, I just got an alert
from our credit card.
You spent $2,300 at a Dollar Tree?
No, Dave, that's fraud.
I took care of it.
Oh.
You bought me a surprise.
Yeah, that's it. [SCOFFS]
[ENGINE PASSES]
What is going on out there?
Guys, what's happening?
Looks like something's going on
at Miss Kim's house.
I hope she didn't set
her bathroom on fire again
with those scented candles.
She sold me one of those candles.
It smelled like hot cat food.
MARTY: Uh, I would stop
talking bad about her if I were you.
Miss Kim is no longer with us.
- [GASPS] Oh, my God.
- No.
Where'd she go?
Dave, she's dead.
Oh, no.
Oh, man.
Not Miss Kim.
She was the first neighbor
we met on this street.
- Yeah.
- [CHUCKLES]: She brought us a casserole.
- Yeah.
- Ooh, and I had the toots for three days.
Excuse me.
Oh, no. Oh, no.
I know, Gemma. It's just so sad.
No. My last words to her
were "I don't want any of your crap."
What an awful thing to
say to a dying woman.
Oh, how could you have known, Gemma?
Yesterday she was her usual,
spry, horny self.
Yeah, but now she's dead.
Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
Is it possible that my yelling
at her is what killed her?
Look, Gemma, don't be silly.
Okay, well, now, Marty,
now, don't call Gemma silly.
You know, a confrontation like that
could elevate an older person's
blood pressure,
which could easily trigger
a very severe health scare.
Dave, stop defending me!
Gemma, you can't kill somebody
by yelling at them.
I mean, if you could,
between me and Calvin,
our boys would have
been dead years ago.
You're just saying that
to make me feel better.
- [KNOCKING ON DOOR]
- Stop tripping and get the door.
[SIGHS] I will never yell
at anybody again.
I don't want more blood on my hands.
Hello. I'm here about
your neighbor Kimberly Wilcox.
Yes, it's true, I yelled at her,
but I never thought it would kill her.
At worst,
it's involuntary manslaughter.
[SOUTHERN ACCENT]: Please,
Officer, I've got a little boy.
Miss, I'm not an officer,
I'm Miss Kim's estate lawyer.
- [REGULAR ACCENT]: Phew.
- I'm sorry about my friend.
She's a little dehydrated.
- Oh.
- Can I help you?
Yes, I'd appreciate it
if the Butler family
could join me at Miss Kim's house,
so we can go over her last wishes.
Oh. Oh, okay.
- We'll be right over.
- Okay, great.
So, I'm good?
I don't know who you are,
but I'd say no.
We lived across the street
from this woman for decades.
I don't think we've ever
set foot in her house.
Wow.
I didn't know Miss Kim
was a Jet Beauty in 1973.
Oh.
And here she is sitting
on the lap of Telly Savalas.
Oh, my God, Miss Kim
could've whipped all our asses.
What are you talking about?
She won a bronze medal in judo
at the Montreal Olympics.
Whoa. Look at these photos.
Miss Kim was married three times?
Same dress each time.
Well, why buy a new dress
when you know how it's gonna turn out?
Okay, Butler family,
if we could get started?
I've got a very busy day.
People are dropping like flies.
So, uh, Miss Kim
didn't have any family
she could leave her stuff to?
Very little.
Uh, the house and the furniture
are going to her sister,
but that's pretty much it.
Uh, Malcolm Butler?
Miss Kim
left you a Rolex watch.
- Whoa!
- What?
- TINA: Wow.
- CALVIN: Oh.
Hell, Malcolm, hold up,
did you ever, uh, you know
- with Miss Kim?
- Uh
No, Pop, I was just nice to her.
Rolex nice?
Calvin.
[LAUGHS] I can't wait
to see what I got,
because I was much nicer
to her than Malcolm.
- Martin Butler.
- Yes?
Miss Kim left you
a rather sizable collection
Yes? Yes?
of snow globes.
No!
- [LAUGHS]
- No!
Well, we know Marty
ain't never, you know
- Stop Would you stop that? Stop.
- [BABBLES]
It's okay, Marty.
It's the thought that counts.
Uh, Calvin Butler?
- Yeah?
- Miss Kim left you
one of her most treasured possessions.
The fountain from her backyard.
Oh, come that-that
That's just too nice.
I can't accept that.
TICHINA: Oh, no, no, Calvin.
You have to, baby.
You have to obey her wishes.
Ah, she won't know, baby,
she's gone on to glory.
No, she will.
If you don't obey
the wishes of the dead,
they will haunt you for all eternity.
- All eternity?
- Yeah.
So even after I'm dead,
they gonna haunt me?
Well, I'll just haunt their ass back.
[CLEARS THROAT]
I-If we can continue
Tina Butler?
- Yeah.
- Miss Kim
left you a very special bequest:
her collection of recipes.
- Oh.
- Ah.
Oh, wow, that that-that
that was very nice of her.
[CHUCKLES]
Thank you, Miss Kim.
- There's more.
- Okay.
She would like for you
to prepare these recipes
for every "yardecue" from now on,
uh, so you can always feel
like she's there with you.
Well, remember, Mama,
it's the thought that counts.
Oh, hey, buddy.
You, uh, know that TV's not on, right?
Yep.
Did you just turn it off?
No.
I just felt like I needed
to stare into a black void.
Okay.
I mean
Miss Kim was standing
right there two days ago,
You know? And now she's just gone.
I mean, we talked.
She was perfectly healthy.
Look, I-I
I understand how upsetting
this could be.
And we have to realize that Miss Kim
may have seemed healthy,
but there are all sorts
of diseases and conditions
that a person can have
that they may never know about.
And then you just suddenly die?
No! No, no, no.
Uh, not not like that.
I mean, those-those conditions
are almost unheard of.
I don't even know
any of those conditions.
Why would I even bring it up?
B-But Miss Kim did die of something.
Well, yeah. I mean, Grover,
she was quite old.
- Was she older than you?
- What?
Yes! She was much older than me.
Just watch your void.
♪
- Good deal
- [CHUCKLES]
- Good Lord!
- [BOTH COUGHING]
I'm-a go crack a window.
[PANTS]
Mama, you aren't serving this
at the yardecue, are you?
Oh, yes, I am.
I'm serving all of these,
as per Miss Kim's last wish.
Well, can't you improve on them?
Like
by changing all the ingredients?
No, no. When the dead tell you
what to do, you do it.
Ghosts, they strike back.
They're very petty.
- Really, Mama?
- Yes.
Look, I will never ever forget
when I was nine years old.
Christmas Eve.
My Aunt Peaches brought
her new husband, Mr. Randy.
All of a sudden, I felt a cold breeze.
And I turned and looked
I saw the ghost of my Uncle Clarence
take the Christmas tree and knock it
right onto Mr. Randy.
Now, boys, keep in mind,
that was the Christmas that,
unbeknownst to your mom,
she ate those 151 rum balls.
Okay, uh, Marty, Malcolm,
y'all wash these pots
while I get to Miss Kim's
Vienna sausage shortcake.
Uh-oh. Okay.
[GROANS]
Ah! I see you have to
take off your watch.
Guess you didn't get one of
the waterproof ones, then.
[LAUGHS] No.
All Rolexes are waterproof.
I'm just being extra careful,
'cause it's a Rolex.
Yo, man, how many times are
you going to say "Rolex"?
I will say Rolex as many times
as I want to say Rolex,
so why don't you just rolax?
Come on!
There has got to be
a story behind this.
A sordid story.
What did you do
with that pervy old lady?
May she rest in peace,
but what did you do?
Marty, it was just a gift.
Oh, just a gift, huh? [LAUGHS]
- You a boy toy, Malcolm.
- What?
You are a kept man.
You are a sugar baby!
♪
Calvin,
I just want you to know something.
I love you.
Thanks Gemma.
Hey, Tina.
Yeah?
I love you like
the sister I never had.
You have a sister.
But you're the one I never had.
Does she think we're about to die?
I don't know, but all this love is
getting on my damn nerves.
- Hey, hey, babe.
- Yeah?
I can get rid of this
fountain thing, right?
Yeah, be my guest.
If you want your ass haunted
for the rest of your life.
Um
- Haunted?
- Oh
- I don't, I don't want my ass haunted.
- Okay.
First of all, language.
Second of all, don't
listen to Miss Tina.
Grover,
ghosts are not real.
So when you die, that's it?
Y-You're just forgotten?
No! No, look,
the people that we love,
when they die,
they live on, inside of us.
What?
That's not the same as
a demonic possession.
Who said anything about
a demonic possession?
Nobody!
Oh, my God, now I can feel them.
They're of inside me!
Oh, they're not inside of you!
Hey, fellas.
- You guys knew Miss Kim?
- Oh, yes, sir.
Yo, and it's dope
what you're doing for her.
Now when people drive by,
this fountain will always be here.
Always?
I was thinking, like,
till the end of the month.
She was a wonderful woman.
Always on top of me.
Pushing me to go harder
than I thought I could.
But she knew
I could finish, and I did.
Miss Kim was all talk, huh, Malcolm?
What? No, please. I have
nothing in common with them.
Hey, my man.
That's a nice watch you got there.
Hey, Sergio, Bobby, Adonis,
what's up, man?
Hey, Trey. You know these guys?
Yeah, yeah, I met this guys
through Miss Kim.
- You know, she touched so many of us.
- ADONIS: Yes.
[ARGUES INDISTINCTLY]
I knew it! Yo, I told you.
No, no, no. No. Not like that, man.
She created a scholarship fund.
Sent all these guys to college.
- She did?
- See, man? Apologize.
Thank you, Kimberly Wilcox.
For everything.
Wow. Who knew Miss Kim had
such a big heart?
Yeah, I guess we had her all wrong.
Yeah, I guess we all did.
Hey, listen up, everybody.
Listen up.
[BANGING]
I hope you all are having
a good time here today.
I just want to acknowledge
someone who isn't here with us.
Miss Kim
berly Wilcox.
Kimberly Wilcox.
Can we have a moment of silence
in her memory?
Listen, guys, we're all neighbors.
That means some of us
have been neighbors
for a long time, but
how much do we really
know about each other?
And turns out, I didn't know
Miss Kim very well at all.
And she was an amazing woman.
[MURMURED AGREEMENTS]
And I wish I'd taken the time
to get to know her while she was here.
So, you know what? I don't
want that to happen anymore.
I didn't mean to kill her!
Get over yourself, Gemma.
So let's take the time today
to really get to know each other.
All right, so the ribs are up, but
there's a price.
If you want a plate of ribs,
you got to tell me
something about yourself,
something I don't know.
Look, we shouldn't be strangers, guys.
We're neighbors.
So let's eat up. All right? Come on.
Not y'all.
Go, go, go. Just get on out of here.
So, you're saying you got a
little crush on Steve Harvey?
You know, as long as we're sharing,
I used to have a little thing
for Tootie from Facts of Life.
She had the cutest little lisp.
"Mithuth Garrett."
My boyfriend just convinced me
to be vegan, but he's not here.
So, you're saying
run you some of these ribs?
Yes, please.
Hey, Tina.
Danny here just found out
that his sister is his mama,
and his mama is his grandmama.
Oh, that-that was a secret.
That supposed to be a secret.
That was secret? Yeah. Yeah.
That-that was a secret, babe.
Don't tell nobody.
Okay, Malcolm.
It's just us. [LAUGHS]
Why did Miss Kim leave you that watch?
I am telling you, Marty, I don't know.
- I do.
- Yes!
Yes. Spill it.
She told me that years ago,
when you were a little boy,
she was sitting on her porch crying,
because her third husband
had just died.
And you came over
and you sat with her
until the street lights came on.
- I did?
- That's what he said.
[LAUGHS] Oh, man,
I don't even remember that.
Because it wasn't you!
It was me!
We played Battleship, like, ten times.
She kept peeking at my ships,
and I pretended not to notice.
That is my watch!
Well, according to the will,
it is mine. [LAUGHS]
[GROWLING]
Malcolm
You better sleep and bathe
with that watch on.
You get that out of my face, man.
Now, look, this watch is nice,
but I wish she would have
left me her car.
[CHUCKLES]
You'd had to do a lot more
than sit on the porch
to get the car, my boy.
- [CHUCKLING]
- MALCOLM: Wh
♪
- Hmm.
- What?
I was going to throw out
Miss Kim's leftovers,
but I'm worried it'll make her mad.
So, Miss Tina,
you believe in the afterlife.
Of course. It gives me great comfort.
But you think the dead are
vengeful and terrifying.
Well, that's not the comforting part.
Buddy, I-I-I think what
Miss Tina is trying to say is
that nobody knows for sure.
But the important thing
is to not fear death
but to make the most of our time here.
CALVIN: Yeah.
That's what Miss Kim did.
She lived a full life.
And now she's as dead
as this chicken wing.
I guess the important thing is,
it doesn't really matter
what or who killed her.
You know, maybe I'm taking
things a little too far.
Come on, Grover, let's take
these leftovers to the garbage.
You know, I've already
honored her wishes.
I mean, she can't be
too upset if I throw away
- half-eaten leftovers, right?
- Yeah.
[EXCLAIMS]
Miss Kim!
[SCREAMING]
I told you!
- I told you!
- Oh, my God!
TINA: Oh, my God! Oh, my God!
Sorry, can we help you?
I'm Kim's sister, Florence.
Oh.
I heard her house keys were here.
Ah, yes. Of course.
I'll get them for you.
Nice wagon.
Damn, you are her sister, aren't you?
- [GIGGLING]
- All right.
♪