Buffy the Vampire Slayer s07e05 Episode Script
Selfless
Previously on "Buffy the Vampire Slayer": You seem determined to put an end to all my fun, just like you always did when we were dating.
- You dated a troll? - Well, he wasn't a troll then! He was just a big, dumb guy.
- Where is everyone? - At the new high school.
Buffy's got some job there.
Spike's insane in the basement.
- Willow? - There you are! But we're really glad you're back.
Did you turn this nice lady's ex into a giant worm monster? (laughs) Yes.
I got the impression that you enjoyed inflicting.
Causing pain sounds really cool, but turns out it's really upsetting.
Didn't use to be.
It's the talk of the Order.
They're calling you Miss Soft Serve.
- Excuse me? - No deaths.
No eviscerations.
You're not goading women into anything inventive.
It was a glitch.
I am so back in the vengeance fold.
My advice is: do exactly what everyone else does all the time.
Got it.
Do what everyone else does, wear what they wear, say what they say.
OK.
People may say things you don't understand.
Don't be afraid to keep your mouth shut and pretend you do.
Dawn, I've been to college before.
People may say "My protein window closes in an hour.
" Just nod and smile.
Mm-hm.
It has something to do with fitness.
- (Buffy) Have you talked to her? - Not since the Gnarl demon night.
And that wasn't exactly the "How have you been?" kind of talking.
More of the "Pierce its eye with something sharp" kind of talking.
- I'm thinking I should call her.
- I don't want you to get your hopes up.
Hopes? Oh, no, no, no, no.
There are no hopes.
Anya and I are done.
I love being single.
I'm a strong, successful male who's giddy at the thought of all the women I will be dating in the near future.
Strong, successful males say "giddy"? - I just worry about her, that's all.
- Anya? Yeah, she seems so sad.
She should try acting like everybody else more.
Apparently it's what all the kids are doing nowadays.
Not sure I get the sad vibe, but there is a vengeance vibe worth worrying about.
Oh, that? No, no.
I don't worry about that.
She was hurt and she just turned back to what she knew when I You know.
But that's not her any more.
I hope you're right.
She turned that worm guy back before any real damage happened, right? lt'll just take some time.
I really think she's coming around.
What have I done? (Spike) I don't trust what I see any more.
I don't know how to explain it, exactly.
Like I've been seeing things.
Dru used to see things, you know? She'd always be staring at the sky watching cherubs burn or the heavens bleed or some nonsense.
I used to stare at her and think she'd gone completely sack of hammers.
But she'd see the sky when we were inside and it'd make her so happy.
She'd see showers, she'd see stars.
- Now I see her.
- (whispers) Spike.
- I'm in trouble, Buffy.
- I can help you.
I could never ask.
Not after It's different.
You're different.
I could never ask.
Spike, it's me.
It's you and it's me, and we'll get through this.
Never.
We'll get through this.
Spike.
This basement is killing you.
This is the Hellmouth.
There is something bad down here.
Possibly everything bad.
(laughs) - Can't hear you.
Can't hear you.
- You have a soul? Fine.
Show me.
Scream Montresor all you like, pet.
Get up and get out of this basement.
I don't have anywhere else to go.
I've not been gone for that long.
I've already done all the reading I missed Willow, it's OK.
We'll get you caught up in no time.
- Really? - What am I gonna say? "No, I don't want my best student back in my class"? I noticed a drop-off in your grades at mid-terms last year - Yeah - But then voilá.
You turned it around.
- Aced all your finals, like, boom.
Magic.
- Yeah, similar to, but Come see me during office hours tomorrow and we'll see what we need to do to get you caught up, all right? OK.
Thanks, Professor.
Anya! Anya! Willow, hi! What are you doing here? Oh, I'm starting back up at school again! Yeah, I can't believe how great everyone's been.
I was worried, but I already have books and homework and they'll give me periodic surprise quizzes just to make up for the ones I missed.
What What are you doing here, walking out of the fraternity house in the middle of the day? Um I have a new boyfriend now.
He lives here.
- That's great! - Yeah, we just had lots and lots of sex.
OK.
This is so great.
I am so happy to see you've - moved on.
- Yes, we're tremendously happy together.
Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm late for something important.
OK.
See you later.
Hello? Is anybody (girl sobbing) I take it back.
I take it back.
I take it back.
I take it back.
I take it back.
I take it back.
I take it back.
I take it back.
I take it back.
I take it back.
I take it back.
I take it back.
I take it back.
- I take it back.
- It's OK.
You're OK.
- I take it back.
- What do you take back? What happened? It was gonna be a party.
Everyone's gonna be there.
Everyone's bringing a date.
I'll have a great time.
But it was just me.
And them.
He broke up with me in front of them.
It was a game.
It was all a game.
- It's OK.
You're OK now.
- They laughed.
And they laughed and I cried.
And they laughed.
And I yelled "Just once I wish you could all feel what it's like to have your hearts ripped out!" "Just once, I wish.
" And then it came.
OK.
Come on, what came? - What did this? - A spider.
Where did it go? - What do you mean? - The spider.
Where is it now? Protect! For God's sake, shut your whimpering mouth! I'm sorry.
(angry shouting) - Impressive.
- Thank you.
What is that, a Woodlow Transmogrific spell? - Thornton's Hope.
- Thornton's Hope? But how did you get the troll element? - Eelsbane.
- Eelsbane.
Brilliant! - What'd he do? - Bar matron.
- A load-bearing bar matron.
- Is there any other kind? I'm sorry.
How rude of me.
Allow me to introduce myself.
My name is D'Hoffryn.
- I am Aud.
- Are you? I'm afraid you don't see your true self.
You are Anyanka.
I'm a patron of a family of sorts.
We're vengeance demons.
- I'm sure you've heard of us.
- No, I'm sorry.
- Well, that's quite - No, don't feel bad.
I don't talk to people much.
I talk to them, but they don't talk to me.
Except to say "Your questions are irksome" and "Take your furs and literal interpretations to the other side of the river.
" I sense that your talents are not appreciated here, Anyanka.
We'd like you to join us.
Why do you keep calling me that? My name is Aud.
Perhaps, but Anyanka is who you are.
What would I have to do? What you do best.
Help wronged women punish evil men.
- Vengeance.
- But only to those who deserve it.
- They all deserve it.
- That's where I was going with that, yeah.
(phone rings) Hello? Willow, hey! Is everything Spider demon.
Wait, hold on.
Are you all right? Like how? Uh-huh.
Uh-huh.
Wait.
OK, go ahead.
No, no, no, no, no.
It's all good.
I'll get Xander to go.
But seriously, you just Ripped out the heart? My God.
Hey, did you get that physics class you wanted? This is just wonderful, Anyanka! There's even talk of having some sort of ceremony.
I can't tell you how many times today I've heard "Anyanka is back to her old self again!" Honey, what is it? What's wrong? It's nothing.
I just There was just so much screaming, so much blood.
I'd forgotten the damage a Crimslaw demon could do.
Oh, tell me about it.
They can be feisty little guys - and impossible to house-train.
Once they start nesting, forget Are you OK? Oh, did something happen? I guess I'm just a little rusty.
I didn't think it would hit me like this.
Oh, sweetie.
This is perfectly normal.
It's a reflex.
You'll get over it in no time, trust me.
Oh, Hallie! I can't tell you how good it is - Thank goodness you're here.
- Oh, sweetie.
Of course.
Lately, with everything that's been going on, I've had trouble even remembering - (door opens) - Get out.
- Lemon drop, if you think I'm gonna - Get out.
It's OK.
Well, OK.
If you need anything, you holler.
Anya, you have to stop this.
Do you know what they did to her? Do you? It was a game.
They were humiliating her.
Anya, listen to me.
You're in trouble.
You know it.
I'm here to help you.
You're here to? Well, that's great, Willow.
Flayed anybody lately, have you? How quickly they forget! I haven't forgotten one second of it.
- What do you want? - I wanna help you.
- They got what they deserved.
- No, they I'm a vengeance demon.
Do you understand that? - No.
- Try! They got what they deserved.
Thanks.
I didn't wanna trouble Willow.
Figure she's got enough to do, first day back and all.
Are you kidding? We're doing vent work.
Anything's better than breathing Freon for eight hours.
- She say what this thing is? - A sort of spider demony thingy.
She had to go quickly.
I think she had to sign up for classes.
Little can distract the Willow when she's on the hunt for the mighty syllabi.
I don't know.
I think she's a little more nervous than she was letting on.
How big did she say this thing was? She didn't.
But I can't imagine she'd send us out if it wasn't The heart's completely ripped out.
This is our guy.
Or a copycat spider demon.
- So, what's this black stuff? - I don't know.
- Oh, sticky! - Willow said it was a spider demon.
- Maybe it's its webbing.
- This isn't springy, high-flying fun.
- (rustling) - Xander.
- Is that it? - I can't tell.
- But something's definitely moving up there.
- Maybe we can somehow lure it.
Xander! No! You OK? Buffy, where'd it go? - I think we need more swords.
- Uh-huh.
We go home, pick up more swords, and a spidery-demon protection amulet, we come back, and Or I'm more concerned with where it came from.
If there are more running around, we need to know.
We should hit the research, find out if I know where it came from.
How many? - Ten, twelve.
- When were you planning on telling us? - I'm telling you now.
- Great.
Thank you.
Willow, it's Anya.
How could you let us How could you not have told us? - Xander - How could you not have told me? Xander.
It's OK.
She didn't tell us for a reason.
She didn't tell us because she knows what I have to do.
I have to kill Anya.
(woman giggles) I swear I'm in awe of you.
- Oh, stop.
- Oh, I will not.
I grant wishes.
It's all inside the girl.
I just bring it out.
- Yes.
I'm sure this is what she had in mind.
- (cannons firing) Well, I don't know about her mind, but it was in her heart.
Besides, Russia was ready to explode.
We just gave it a little push.
What should we do now? I hear they're going to raze the Winter Mansion.
We could head down to Madame Dubasov's.
No better spot for vengeance than a brothel.
It's always work, work, work with you.
- What else is there? - (man screaming) What else is there? Why, the whole world, for one.
Darling, take a look around.
There's a lot to see.
There's a revolution going on outside that you are somewhat responsible for.
Aren't you the teeniest bit interested? What is there to be interested in? The worker will overthrow absolutism and lead the proletariat to a victorious communist revolution, resulting in socio-economic paradise on earth.
It's common sense, really.
I have better things to worry about.
But there's a whole world out there.
Yes.
Filled with wronged women who need my help.
- You're talking about work.
- I'm talking about life.
Vengeance is what I do, Halfrek.
I don't need anything else.
Vengeance is what I am.
She's not the Anya you knew, Xander.
She's a demon.
- That doesn't mean you have to kill her.
- Don't act like this is easy for me.
- You know it's not.
- There are other options.
I've considered them.
When? Just now? Took you all of ten seconds to decide to kill one of your best friends? The thought that it might come to this has occurred to me before.
It's occurred to you, too.
But we can change what she did.
Fix it.
These are mystical deaths.
There has to be something.
I don't have anywhere near that power.
I didn't have that kind of power when And I don't think I trust the power I do have.
It's OK.
Xander, I know this is hard for you to hear, but it's what I have to do.
Hard for me to hear? Buffy, you wanna kill Anya! - I don't want to.
- Then don't! This isn't new ground.
When our friends go crazy and start killing people, we help them.
- Sitting right here.
- I'm sorry.
- But it's true.
- It's different.
Because you don't care about her the same way I do.
- Buffy, I still love her.
- I know.
And that's why you can't see this for what it really is.
Willow was different.
She's a human.
- Anya's a demon.
- And you're the Slayer.
I see now how it's all very simple.
It is never simple.
No, of course not.
You know, if there's a mass-murdering demon that you're, oh, say, boning, then it's all grey area.
- Spike was harmless.
He was helping.
- He had no choice.
And Anya did! She chose to become a demon - twice.
- You have no idea what she's going through.
- I don't care! No, of course not.
You think we haven't all seen this before? The part where you cut us all out.
Just step away from everything human and act like you're the law.
- If you knew what I felt - I killed Angel.
Do you even remember that? I would have given up everything I had to be with I loved him more than I will ever love anything in this life.
And I put a sword through his heart because I had to.
And that all worked out OK.
Do you remember cheering me on? Both of you.
Remember giving me Willow's message: "Kick his ass"? - I never said that! - This is different.
It is always different! It's always complicated.
And at some point someone has to draw the line, and that is always going to be me.
You get down on me for cutting myself off, but in the end the Slayer is always cut off.
There's no mystical guidebook.
No all-knowing council.
Human rules don't apply.
There's only me.
I am the law.
- There has to be another way.
- Then please find it.
I can't.
I'm sorry.
Beatum sit in nomine D'Hoffrynis.
Fiat hoc spatium porta ad mundum Arashmaharis.
Behold, D'Hoffryn.
Lord of Arashmahar.
He that turns the air to blood and rains Miss Rosenberg.
How lovely to see you again.
Have you done something with your hair? - Hello, D'Hoffryn.
- I figured I'd be hearing from you soon.
The flaying of Warren Meers? Truly inspired.
That was water-cooler vengeance.
Lloyd has a sketch of it on his wall.
- That's not me any more.
- Is that right? So, I didn't feel your presence earlier today? I didn't feel a bit of the old you? We need to talk about Anya.
(groans) Very well.
Let's talk about Anyanka.
- (door opens) - (Xander) I thought I might find you here.
Have you forced yourself to look at the bodies yet? - What do you want? - I wanna help you.
Everyone is so considerate today.
I should've slaughtered people weeks ago.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry for everything I did to you, everything I put you through.
Thank you.
All better! Thank goodness you got here in time(!) You don't understand.
This isn't an intervention.
Buffy's coming to kill you.
- She's coming to try.
- Did everyone have their crazy flakes today? - You're friends.
How could you talk like this? - I have a job to do.
And so does Buffy.
Xander, you've always seen what you wanted to.
But she knew, sooner or later, it would come to this.
- Buffy, get out of here.
- Get out of my way, Xander.
- No.
- Get out of her way, Xander.
This is getting to be a pattern.
Are there any friends of yours left you haven't tried to kill? Come on, Buffy.
Don't you have a clever retort for me? - Anya, I'm sorry.
- You're apologising to me? What fight are you watching? Or is this one of your little pop-culture references I don't get, cos I'm a vengeance I just want happy ending.
Honey? - Honey? - Wha I'm awake.
I'm OK.
Honey, was that weird? That thing earlier with the singing.
- The coconuts.
- What? No.
It's fine.
(man) # Oh, no! Mustard on my shirt (woman) # Mustard! - # I'll never get it out - # My favourite dress shirt - # Dry-clean it - # How could you serve # (both) Mustard Are you still hungry? Because I'd be # Mr Xander Harris # That's what he is to the world outside # That's the name he carries with pride # I'm just lately Anya # Not very much to the world, I know # All these years with nothing to show # I've boned a troll, I've wreaked some wrath # But on the whole, I've had no path # I like to bowl, I'm good with math # But who am I? # Now I reply that # I'm the missis # I will be his missis # Mrs Anya Christina Emmanuella Jenkins Harris # What's the point of loving? # I mean, except for the sweaty part # What's the point of losing your heart? # Maybe if you're lucky # Being a pair makes you twice as tall # Maybe you're not losing at all # No need to cover up my heart # Plus see above re: sweaty part # So maybe love is pretty smart # Then so am I # I found my guy # And I'll be Mrs # I will be his missis # Mrs Anya Lame-Ass Made-up Maiden Name Harris # We'll never part # Not if we can # And if we start # Then here's my plan # I'll show him what bliss is # Welcome him with kisses # Cos this is a Mrs who misses her man # He's my Xander and he's awfully swell # And makes financial sense as well # Although he can be I'll never tell # Just stand aside # Here comes the bride # I'll be Mrs # I will be his missis # I will be Anya! Forgotten how much swords through the chest hurt.
Aarghh! You know better than that, Buffy.
It takes a lot more to kill a vengeance demon.
Oh, I'm just getting started.
Stop trying to save me, Xander! Please, don't mind me.
Continue with whatever it was you were doing.
Oh! Breathtaking.
It's like somebody slaughtered an Abercrombie & Fitch catalogue.
Easy, now.
I'd be gone before you could swing.
Isn't thatjust like a slayer? Solving all her problems by sticking things with sharp objects.
I talked to your friend Miss Rosenberg.
She's a firebrand.
- I have high hopes for her.
- Stay away from Willow.
Oh, he's gallant, isn't he? I understand what you saw in him.
Miss Rosenberg thinks Anyanka would be better suited outside the vengeance fold.
I think we already know what Lady "Hacks-Away" wants.
And the young man, he sees with the eyeballs of love.
But I'm not sure if anyone's bothered to find out what Anyanka herself really wants.
- Her name is Anya.
- Actually, funny historical sidebar: - her original name was - (Anya) I wanna take it back.
I'm sorry.
What was that? I wanna take it back.
I wanna undo what I did.
Hmm.
You want to take it back.
Must be 12 bodies in there.
Such a thing not easily done.
But not impossible.
You're a big girl, Anyanka.
You understand how this works.
The proverbial scales must balance.
In order to restore the lives of the victims, the Fates require a sacrifice.
The life and soul of a vengeance demon.
- Do it.
- Wait! - Stay out of this, Xander.
- OK, right.
That seems smart - he just said you have to die! Perhaps there's some sort of alternate price? Xander, you can't help me.
I'm not even sure there's a me to help.
I understand the price.
Do it.
You're sure? This is your wish? This is my wish.
Undo what I did.
Very well.
No! Anya.
- Hallie? - Aargh! Who did you think you were dealing with? Did you think it'd be that easy to get away? - Why? - Why?! - Because you wished it! - But she was yours.
The way you were mine? Haven't I taught you anything, Anya? Never go for the kill when you can go for the pain.
Hold him back, Slayer.
Wouldn't want anyone to get hurt.
I've got plenty of girls.
There will always be vengeance demons.
But now you, Anya, you're out.
Congratulations.
Your wish is granted.
You should've killed me.
Oh, I wouldn't worry about that.
From beneath you, it devours.
Be patient.
All good things in time.
Go.
I'll check on the boys.
Anya, wait.
Xander, please, just go away.
Whatever's between us it doesn't matter.
You shouldn't be alone in this.
Yes, I should.
My whole life I've just clung to whatever came along.
Well, speaking as a clingee I kinda didn't mind.
Thanks.
For everything.
Xander? What if I'm really nobody? Don't be a dope.
I'm a dope.
Sometimes.
That's a start.
Urgh! Argh!
- You dated a troll? - Well, he wasn't a troll then! He was just a big, dumb guy.
- Where is everyone? - At the new high school.
Buffy's got some job there.
Spike's insane in the basement.
- Willow? - There you are! But we're really glad you're back.
Did you turn this nice lady's ex into a giant worm monster? (laughs) Yes.
I got the impression that you enjoyed inflicting.
Causing pain sounds really cool, but turns out it's really upsetting.
Didn't use to be.
It's the talk of the Order.
They're calling you Miss Soft Serve.
- Excuse me? - No deaths.
No eviscerations.
You're not goading women into anything inventive.
It was a glitch.
I am so back in the vengeance fold.
My advice is: do exactly what everyone else does all the time.
Got it.
Do what everyone else does, wear what they wear, say what they say.
OK.
People may say things you don't understand.
Don't be afraid to keep your mouth shut and pretend you do.
Dawn, I've been to college before.
People may say "My protein window closes in an hour.
" Just nod and smile.
Mm-hm.
It has something to do with fitness.
- (Buffy) Have you talked to her? - Not since the Gnarl demon night.
And that wasn't exactly the "How have you been?" kind of talking.
More of the "Pierce its eye with something sharp" kind of talking.
- I'm thinking I should call her.
- I don't want you to get your hopes up.
Hopes? Oh, no, no, no, no.
There are no hopes.
Anya and I are done.
I love being single.
I'm a strong, successful male who's giddy at the thought of all the women I will be dating in the near future.
Strong, successful males say "giddy"? - I just worry about her, that's all.
- Anya? Yeah, she seems so sad.
She should try acting like everybody else more.
Apparently it's what all the kids are doing nowadays.
Not sure I get the sad vibe, but there is a vengeance vibe worth worrying about.
Oh, that? No, no.
I don't worry about that.
She was hurt and she just turned back to what she knew when I You know.
But that's not her any more.
I hope you're right.
She turned that worm guy back before any real damage happened, right? lt'll just take some time.
I really think she's coming around.
What have I done? (Spike) I don't trust what I see any more.
I don't know how to explain it, exactly.
Like I've been seeing things.
Dru used to see things, you know? She'd always be staring at the sky watching cherubs burn or the heavens bleed or some nonsense.
I used to stare at her and think she'd gone completely sack of hammers.
But she'd see the sky when we were inside and it'd make her so happy.
She'd see showers, she'd see stars.
- Now I see her.
- (whispers) Spike.
- I'm in trouble, Buffy.
- I can help you.
I could never ask.
Not after It's different.
You're different.
I could never ask.
Spike, it's me.
It's you and it's me, and we'll get through this.
Never.
We'll get through this.
Spike.
This basement is killing you.
This is the Hellmouth.
There is something bad down here.
Possibly everything bad.
(laughs) - Can't hear you.
Can't hear you.
- You have a soul? Fine.
Show me.
Scream Montresor all you like, pet.
Get up and get out of this basement.
I don't have anywhere else to go.
I've not been gone for that long.
I've already done all the reading I missed Willow, it's OK.
We'll get you caught up in no time.
- Really? - What am I gonna say? "No, I don't want my best student back in my class"? I noticed a drop-off in your grades at mid-terms last year - Yeah - But then voilá.
You turned it around.
- Aced all your finals, like, boom.
Magic.
- Yeah, similar to, but Come see me during office hours tomorrow and we'll see what we need to do to get you caught up, all right? OK.
Thanks, Professor.
Anya! Anya! Willow, hi! What are you doing here? Oh, I'm starting back up at school again! Yeah, I can't believe how great everyone's been.
I was worried, but I already have books and homework and they'll give me periodic surprise quizzes just to make up for the ones I missed.
What What are you doing here, walking out of the fraternity house in the middle of the day? Um I have a new boyfriend now.
He lives here.
- That's great! - Yeah, we just had lots and lots of sex.
OK.
This is so great.
I am so happy to see you've - moved on.
- Yes, we're tremendously happy together.
Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm late for something important.
OK.
See you later.
Hello? Is anybody (girl sobbing) I take it back.
I take it back.
I take it back.
I take it back.
I take it back.
I take it back.
I take it back.
I take it back.
I take it back.
I take it back.
I take it back.
I take it back.
I take it back.
- I take it back.
- It's OK.
You're OK.
- I take it back.
- What do you take back? What happened? It was gonna be a party.
Everyone's gonna be there.
Everyone's bringing a date.
I'll have a great time.
But it was just me.
And them.
He broke up with me in front of them.
It was a game.
It was all a game.
- It's OK.
You're OK now.
- They laughed.
And they laughed and I cried.
And they laughed.
And I yelled "Just once I wish you could all feel what it's like to have your hearts ripped out!" "Just once, I wish.
" And then it came.
OK.
Come on, what came? - What did this? - A spider.
Where did it go? - What do you mean? - The spider.
Where is it now? Protect! For God's sake, shut your whimpering mouth! I'm sorry.
(angry shouting) - Impressive.
- Thank you.
What is that, a Woodlow Transmogrific spell? - Thornton's Hope.
- Thornton's Hope? But how did you get the troll element? - Eelsbane.
- Eelsbane.
Brilliant! - What'd he do? - Bar matron.
- A load-bearing bar matron.
- Is there any other kind? I'm sorry.
How rude of me.
Allow me to introduce myself.
My name is D'Hoffryn.
- I am Aud.
- Are you? I'm afraid you don't see your true self.
You are Anyanka.
I'm a patron of a family of sorts.
We're vengeance demons.
- I'm sure you've heard of us.
- No, I'm sorry.
- Well, that's quite - No, don't feel bad.
I don't talk to people much.
I talk to them, but they don't talk to me.
Except to say "Your questions are irksome" and "Take your furs and literal interpretations to the other side of the river.
" I sense that your talents are not appreciated here, Anyanka.
We'd like you to join us.
Why do you keep calling me that? My name is Aud.
Perhaps, but Anyanka is who you are.
What would I have to do? What you do best.
Help wronged women punish evil men.
- Vengeance.
- But only to those who deserve it.
- They all deserve it.
- That's where I was going with that, yeah.
(phone rings) Hello? Willow, hey! Is everything Spider demon.
Wait, hold on.
Are you all right? Like how? Uh-huh.
Uh-huh.
Wait.
OK, go ahead.
No, no, no, no, no.
It's all good.
I'll get Xander to go.
But seriously, you just Ripped out the heart? My God.
Hey, did you get that physics class you wanted? This is just wonderful, Anyanka! There's even talk of having some sort of ceremony.
I can't tell you how many times today I've heard "Anyanka is back to her old self again!" Honey, what is it? What's wrong? It's nothing.
I just There was just so much screaming, so much blood.
I'd forgotten the damage a Crimslaw demon could do.
Oh, tell me about it.
They can be feisty little guys - and impossible to house-train.
Once they start nesting, forget Are you OK? Oh, did something happen? I guess I'm just a little rusty.
I didn't think it would hit me like this.
Oh, sweetie.
This is perfectly normal.
It's a reflex.
You'll get over it in no time, trust me.
Oh, Hallie! I can't tell you how good it is - Thank goodness you're here.
- Oh, sweetie.
Of course.
Lately, with everything that's been going on, I've had trouble even remembering - (door opens) - Get out.
- Lemon drop, if you think I'm gonna - Get out.
It's OK.
Well, OK.
If you need anything, you holler.
Anya, you have to stop this.
Do you know what they did to her? Do you? It was a game.
They were humiliating her.
Anya, listen to me.
You're in trouble.
You know it.
I'm here to help you.
You're here to? Well, that's great, Willow.
Flayed anybody lately, have you? How quickly they forget! I haven't forgotten one second of it.
- What do you want? - I wanna help you.
- They got what they deserved.
- No, they I'm a vengeance demon.
Do you understand that? - No.
- Try! They got what they deserved.
Thanks.
I didn't wanna trouble Willow.
Figure she's got enough to do, first day back and all.
Are you kidding? We're doing vent work.
Anything's better than breathing Freon for eight hours.
- She say what this thing is? - A sort of spider demony thingy.
She had to go quickly.
I think she had to sign up for classes.
Little can distract the Willow when she's on the hunt for the mighty syllabi.
I don't know.
I think she's a little more nervous than she was letting on.
How big did she say this thing was? She didn't.
But I can't imagine she'd send us out if it wasn't The heart's completely ripped out.
This is our guy.
Or a copycat spider demon.
- So, what's this black stuff? - I don't know.
- Oh, sticky! - Willow said it was a spider demon.
- Maybe it's its webbing.
- This isn't springy, high-flying fun.
- (rustling) - Xander.
- Is that it? - I can't tell.
- But something's definitely moving up there.
- Maybe we can somehow lure it.
Xander! No! You OK? Buffy, where'd it go? - I think we need more swords.
- Uh-huh.
We go home, pick up more swords, and a spidery-demon protection amulet, we come back, and Or I'm more concerned with where it came from.
If there are more running around, we need to know.
We should hit the research, find out if I know where it came from.
How many? - Ten, twelve.
- When were you planning on telling us? - I'm telling you now.
- Great.
Thank you.
Willow, it's Anya.
How could you let us How could you not have told us? - Xander - How could you not have told me? Xander.
It's OK.
She didn't tell us for a reason.
She didn't tell us because she knows what I have to do.
I have to kill Anya.
(woman giggles) I swear I'm in awe of you.
- Oh, stop.
- Oh, I will not.
I grant wishes.
It's all inside the girl.
I just bring it out.
- Yes.
I'm sure this is what she had in mind.
- (cannons firing) Well, I don't know about her mind, but it was in her heart.
Besides, Russia was ready to explode.
We just gave it a little push.
What should we do now? I hear they're going to raze the Winter Mansion.
We could head down to Madame Dubasov's.
No better spot for vengeance than a brothel.
It's always work, work, work with you.
- What else is there? - (man screaming) What else is there? Why, the whole world, for one.
Darling, take a look around.
There's a lot to see.
There's a revolution going on outside that you are somewhat responsible for.
Aren't you the teeniest bit interested? What is there to be interested in? The worker will overthrow absolutism and lead the proletariat to a victorious communist revolution, resulting in socio-economic paradise on earth.
It's common sense, really.
I have better things to worry about.
But there's a whole world out there.
Yes.
Filled with wronged women who need my help.
- You're talking about work.
- I'm talking about life.
Vengeance is what I do, Halfrek.
I don't need anything else.
Vengeance is what I am.
She's not the Anya you knew, Xander.
She's a demon.
- That doesn't mean you have to kill her.
- Don't act like this is easy for me.
- You know it's not.
- There are other options.
I've considered them.
When? Just now? Took you all of ten seconds to decide to kill one of your best friends? The thought that it might come to this has occurred to me before.
It's occurred to you, too.
But we can change what she did.
Fix it.
These are mystical deaths.
There has to be something.
I don't have anywhere near that power.
I didn't have that kind of power when And I don't think I trust the power I do have.
It's OK.
Xander, I know this is hard for you to hear, but it's what I have to do.
Hard for me to hear? Buffy, you wanna kill Anya! - I don't want to.
- Then don't! This isn't new ground.
When our friends go crazy and start killing people, we help them.
- Sitting right here.
- I'm sorry.
- But it's true.
- It's different.
Because you don't care about her the same way I do.
- Buffy, I still love her.
- I know.
And that's why you can't see this for what it really is.
Willow was different.
She's a human.
- Anya's a demon.
- And you're the Slayer.
I see now how it's all very simple.
It is never simple.
No, of course not.
You know, if there's a mass-murdering demon that you're, oh, say, boning, then it's all grey area.
- Spike was harmless.
He was helping.
- He had no choice.
And Anya did! She chose to become a demon - twice.
- You have no idea what she's going through.
- I don't care! No, of course not.
You think we haven't all seen this before? The part where you cut us all out.
Just step away from everything human and act like you're the law.
- If you knew what I felt - I killed Angel.
Do you even remember that? I would have given up everything I had to be with I loved him more than I will ever love anything in this life.
And I put a sword through his heart because I had to.
And that all worked out OK.
Do you remember cheering me on? Both of you.
Remember giving me Willow's message: "Kick his ass"? - I never said that! - This is different.
It is always different! It's always complicated.
And at some point someone has to draw the line, and that is always going to be me.
You get down on me for cutting myself off, but in the end the Slayer is always cut off.
There's no mystical guidebook.
No all-knowing council.
Human rules don't apply.
There's only me.
I am the law.
- There has to be another way.
- Then please find it.
I can't.
I'm sorry.
Beatum sit in nomine D'Hoffrynis.
Fiat hoc spatium porta ad mundum Arashmaharis.
Behold, D'Hoffryn.
Lord of Arashmahar.
He that turns the air to blood and rains Miss Rosenberg.
How lovely to see you again.
Have you done something with your hair? - Hello, D'Hoffryn.
- I figured I'd be hearing from you soon.
The flaying of Warren Meers? Truly inspired.
That was water-cooler vengeance.
Lloyd has a sketch of it on his wall.
- That's not me any more.
- Is that right? So, I didn't feel your presence earlier today? I didn't feel a bit of the old you? We need to talk about Anya.
(groans) Very well.
Let's talk about Anyanka.
- (door opens) - (Xander) I thought I might find you here.
Have you forced yourself to look at the bodies yet? - What do you want? - I wanna help you.
Everyone is so considerate today.
I should've slaughtered people weeks ago.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry for everything I did to you, everything I put you through.
Thank you.
All better! Thank goodness you got here in time(!) You don't understand.
This isn't an intervention.
Buffy's coming to kill you.
- She's coming to try.
- Did everyone have their crazy flakes today? - You're friends.
How could you talk like this? - I have a job to do.
And so does Buffy.
Xander, you've always seen what you wanted to.
But she knew, sooner or later, it would come to this.
- Buffy, get out of here.
- Get out of my way, Xander.
- No.
- Get out of her way, Xander.
This is getting to be a pattern.
Are there any friends of yours left you haven't tried to kill? Come on, Buffy.
Don't you have a clever retort for me? - Anya, I'm sorry.
- You're apologising to me? What fight are you watching? Or is this one of your little pop-culture references I don't get, cos I'm a vengeance I just want happy ending.
Honey? - Honey? - Wha I'm awake.
I'm OK.
Honey, was that weird? That thing earlier with the singing.
- The coconuts.
- What? No.
It's fine.
(man) # Oh, no! Mustard on my shirt (woman) # Mustard! - # I'll never get it out - # My favourite dress shirt - # Dry-clean it - # How could you serve # (both) Mustard Are you still hungry? Because I'd be # Mr Xander Harris # That's what he is to the world outside # That's the name he carries with pride # I'm just lately Anya # Not very much to the world, I know # All these years with nothing to show # I've boned a troll, I've wreaked some wrath # But on the whole, I've had no path # I like to bowl, I'm good with math # But who am I? # Now I reply that # I'm the missis # I will be his missis # Mrs Anya Christina Emmanuella Jenkins Harris # What's the point of loving? # I mean, except for the sweaty part # What's the point of losing your heart? # Maybe if you're lucky # Being a pair makes you twice as tall # Maybe you're not losing at all # No need to cover up my heart # Plus see above re: sweaty part # So maybe love is pretty smart # Then so am I # I found my guy # And I'll be Mrs # I will be his missis # Mrs Anya Lame-Ass Made-up Maiden Name Harris # We'll never part # Not if we can # And if we start # Then here's my plan # I'll show him what bliss is # Welcome him with kisses # Cos this is a Mrs who misses her man # He's my Xander and he's awfully swell # And makes financial sense as well # Although he can be I'll never tell # Just stand aside # Here comes the bride # I'll be Mrs # I will be his missis # I will be Anya! Forgotten how much swords through the chest hurt.
Aarghh! You know better than that, Buffy.
It takes a lot more to kill a vengeance demon.
Oh, I'm just getting started.
Stop trying to save me, Xander! Please, don't mind me.
Continue with whatever it was you were doing.
Oh! Breathtaking.
It's like somebody slaughtered an Abercrombie & Fitch catalogue.
Easy, now.
I'd be gone before you could swing.
Isn't thatjust like a slayer? Solving all her problems by sticking things with sharp objects.
I talked to your friend Miss Rosenberg.
She's a firebrand.
- I have high hopes for her.
- Stay away from Willow.
Oh, he's gallant, isn't he? I understand what you saw in him.
Miss Rosenberg thinks Anyanka would be better suited outside the vengeance fold.
I think we already know what Lady "Hacks-Away" wants.
And the young man, he sees with the eyeballs of love.
But I'm not sure if anyone's bothered to find out what Anyanka herself really wants.
- Her name is Anya.
- Actually, funny historical sidebar: - her original name was - (Anya) I wanna take it back.
I'm sorry.
What was that? I wanna take it back.
I wanna undo what I did.
Hmm.
You want to take it back.
Must be 12 bodies in there.
Such a thing not easily done.
But not impossible.
You're a big girl, Anyanka.
You understand how this works.
The proverbial scales must balance.
In order to restore the lives of the victims, the Fates require a sacrifice.
The life and soul of a vengeance demon.
- Do it.
- Wait! - Stay out of this, Xander.
- OK, right.
That seems smart - he just said you have to die! Perhaps there's some sort of alternate price? Xander, you can't help me.
I'm not even sure there's a me to help.
I understand the price.
Do it.
You're sure? This is your wish? This is my wish.
Undo what I did.
Very well.
No! Anya.
- Hallie? - Aargh! Who did you think you were dealing with? Did you think it'd be that easy to get away? - Why? - Why?! - Because you wished it! - But she was yours.
The way you were mine? Haven't I taught you anything, Anya? Never go for the kill when you can go for the pain.
Hold him back, Slayer.
Wouldn't want anyone to get hurt.
I've got plenty of girls.
There will always be vengeance demons.
But now you, Anya, you're out.
Congratulations.
Your wish is granted.
You should've killed me.
Oh, I wouldn't worry about that.
From beneath you, it devours.
Be patient.
All good things in time.
Go.
I'll check on the boys.
Anya, wait.
Xander, please, just go away.
Whatever's between us it doesn't matter.
You shouldn't be alone in this.
Yes, I should.
My whole life I've just clung to whatever came along.
Well, speaking as a clingee I kinda didn't mind.
Thanks.
For everything.
Xander? What if I'm really nobody? Don't be a dope.
I'm a dope.
Sometimes.
That's a start.
Urgh! Argh!