Mad Men s07e05 Episode Script

Good morning.
Plans for the weekend? - California? - Next weekend.
I want you to know I haven't forgotten your request regarding Handi-Wrap.
I spoke to Lou and he's very happy to have you on the business.
And, of course, you can assume from our conversation that I am, too.
Thank you.
I hope you understand I mean on the team.
That's exactly what I asked for.
Stop humming! You're not happy! Do you want me to introduce you? I'm not interested in her.
She belongs to it and it belongs to her.
- What is "it"? - What, am I Cassandra? That machine came for us.
And one by one - Good morning.
- Morning.
Morning, lovely.
What's wrong? Do you know anything about this? Where did you get this? I found it on the Xerox machine.
And I thought, "Wow, Shirley's gonna be in a lot of trouble for leaving it there.
" - It's sensational stuff.
- I didn't leave it there.
But I appreciate its return.
It's got to be pretty recent.
He's got one about Eisenhower's funeral.
I'm sure he'd prefer you hadn't seen this.
Hmm, that's not what Dr.
Freud would say.
No one has seen this.
"Scout's Honor.
" Mr.
Ginsberg? This thing's on the fritz.
S-T-R-A-T-E-G-Y.
Meredith, honey, I don't want that spelled out, l just want it spelled right.
Mr.
Draper.
I was just talking to you.
There's a Stephanie Horton calling collect.
Would you like to accept the charges? She says she's your niece.
Yes.
Yes, absolutely.
Hello, Stephanie.
It's Don.
I wasn't sure if you'd remember me.
Come on.
How are you? How are you Don? About the same.
Is everything okay? Well I suppose it probably sounds like an emergency, but it's not.
I thought of you because, well-- it's not an emergency.
You're making it sound like an emergency, sweetheart.
I'm pregnant.
I'm expecting.
And I'm running out of bread and I hate that this is why I'm talking to you after all this time.
I'm glad you called me.
That's what I'm here for.
I mean, you're my What'd you call yourself? My niece.
I don't know why I said that.
No, that's what you are.
I like that.
Are you still in Berkeley? I'm in LA.
That's where I ended up.
It's gonna be fine.
Do you have a pen? How far along are you? I think around seven months.
But my mom says I came early.
My wife, her name is Megan Draper, lives in LA.
Can you get to Laurel Canyon? I've got a car.
You got married again? Yes.
She's gonna take care of you.
I want you to stay there.
I'm coming out tonight.
I don't know.
I want to see you.
It's not up for debate.
Thank you, Dick.
You may find the time by dialing Meridian 7-1-2-1-2.
I'm sorry, can I speak to Megan, please? - Hello.
- Listen, I'm coming out tonight.
Oh, okay.
ls everything okay? Not really.
You're gonna get a visit from Stephanie Horton.
She's Anna Draper's niece.
She's expecting and she's alone and she needs money and I should see her.
Poor thing.
I'll cancel my party and you can catch up.
What Pam? You said you weren't coming this weekend, so I'm having the party for my acting class.
- Tonight? - Tomorrow night.
But I don't need to have it.
Or you can come.
Stephanie can come.
Don't worry about it.
We'll stay out of your way.
You don't have to pick me up.
I'll be in by 10:00.
I'm so sorry, Don.
We'll make her feel at home.
Who's there with you? Amy from Delaware.
Could you get rid of her? I'd rather keep this a family matter.
Okay.
I'm sorry this is the reason, but I'm glad I get to see you.
Me, too.
Bye.
Ooh.
Burger Chef's mascot Little Chef is a flop because he's, what, another chef? He doesn't eat the burgers, he cooks them.
But what if you replaced him with a fresh recruit? A saucy little retard named Scout.
He can't work at a hamburger stand.
He can take anything but an order.
Hey, Don.
Stan, once the smoke clears, I need you to rush some things out for Handi-Wrap.
- I need it by 4:00.
- Mmm.
I'm really, truly busy.
What the hell is that? Turns out Lou thinks he's Mort Drucker.
- Mort Walker.
- How'd you get this? It wasn't our fault.
Why is Scout always up to no good? He peeled a bag of grapefruits.
Thought they were potatoes.
I'm gonna get rid of this.
He left it on the Xerox.
He obviously wanted us to have a copy.
You're just gonna force me to draw my own.
I've got a plane to catch.
Get to work.
Don's still part of the faculty.
Naw, he's gonna stroke to 'em later.
Why don't you let Loretta do that? She can handle the homework.
I'll handle the silver.
What'd you land on? Rumaki, Crab Louie on toast points, and little franks in barbecue sauce.
You know they've got four more houses to visit after us? I wanted to go first to put everyone at ease.
They get so tongue-tied around us.
They can only pretend so long we're just regular neighbors.
Could you stock the bar? Hi.
Did you have any trouble finding us? No.
I'm Megan, by the way.
I'm Stephanie.
You are so beautiful.
I know, I'm a Madonna.
But you are truly magnetic.
What do you do? Don didn't tell you? I'm an actress.
Uh, welcome.
I'm grateful.
For some reason, I'm not crying, man.
Well, why don't I fix you something to eat and then you can take a shower if you want? - Is it that bad? - No! I don't know.
I think you'd want to relax.
Don didn't say much about your situation other than the obvious.
Your place is out of sight.
I'm at a flop in MacArthur Park, but I'm headed up to Oakland with a little help.
I have some friends there and one of them's old man's a doctor.
So, assume it's no trouble at all.
What's your pleasure? Grilled cheese? Spaghetti? Do you have any meat? I've been dreaming about it.
Sure.
Now you go into the bedroom back there.
I changed the sheets.
There are towels.
You can lie down, run a bath, whatever you want.
Make yourself at home.
Thank you.
I'm pretty beat.
You know I want her.
You can't have her.
Why can't I have her? Because Scout's on 'er.
Nice of you to join us.
Don, why don't you take the mound, throw out the first pitch? Sure.
Stan has some very preliminary work.
Stan? Should I move over there or do you want to come over here? I don't know, Stan.
Can you be smug from over there? Lou, I don't know what you think you heard.
I heard everything! From your first fart to your last dying breath.
You think it's funny? I apologize deeply.
What happened? Let me ask you, Peggy.
- You ever heard of Underdog? - The cartoon? Yeah.
Sweet Polly Purebred.
Saturday morning.
It makes hundreds of thousands of dollars a year.
Mostly for its creator Chet Stover of Dancer Fitzgerald.
- Did you know him there? - He was nothing special.
"Scout's Honor" is 100 times better.
I can tell you right now, it's a winner.
You know who had a ridiculous dream and people laughed at him? You? What? Oh, I did not mean that the way it sounded.
I mean, if you're telling us that this is your dream, I apologize for being one of those naysaying idiots.
I hate people like that.
Bob Dylan.
Is he hip enough for you? He was 20 years old when he wrote "Blowin' in the Wind" and he's a genius.
Look at where he is, look at where you are.
You know what? You're a bunch of flag-burning snots.
You've got a thing to learn about patriotism and loyalty.
The very fabric of "Scout's Honor" is a joke to you.
We're gonna have this meeting later.
So order dinner because I want finished work.
And if any of you don't like it, you can thank your hilarious friends here.
Last flight's at 9:00.
Put me on that.
- I'll cancel my plans.
- Just mine, not yours.
I don't know if it's vandals or just kids being kids.
What is it? Someone broke all the streetlights on Peck Avenue.
And you want Henry to get them fixed? No.
Mike was just saying it's a national disease.
The wildness of the kids.
I just don't expect it in Westchester.
I know all everyone wants to talk about is Vietnam, but things are falling apart here, too.
The rumaki is exquisite.
Thank you.
Well, I don't know that those things are unrelated.
I mean, first the kids start off protesting and the next thing you know every authority is up for grabs.
I mean, if they learned how to support their country, sacrifice in hard times, we'd have the morale to win the war.
Mike, you have plans for summer? Even Nixon wants to bring the war to an end.
I'm surprised, Henry.
Don't be, Mike.
I agree with Nixon.
I think it's too costly.
It has to be clone on the right terms, but I think we should get out while the getting's good.
Since when? I've always supported the president, honey.
I think that maybe everyone should fill up here.
I don't know if my lamb turned out.
I'm sure it's delicious.
Let me check the Sterno.
Well, I think I worked every side of the strategy.
Don, you've been the boss.
The briefcase and the hat, that's a rookie maneuver.
You got someplace to be? I'm afraid I do.
How's it going to look for them if I let you go? Well, you could let everybody go.
Is that what you would do? No, I'd let you go, Lou.
Well, I'm afraid it's too late for that.
I'm gonna do you the courtesy of reading these so that you can continue to work on them instead of coming up with new things, because I'm gonna tuck you in tonight.
About your cartoon.
Here we go.
This is an office made out of people who have problems with authority.
You know you have to have a thick skin, but don't help them.
I'm not taking management advice from Don Draper.
Hello? I can't get out of here tonight.
Oh, I'm sorry.
- Is she there yet? - She's taking a bath.
How is she? She's pretty far along.
So beautiful.
Well, don't bother her.
Tell her I'll see her in the morning.
Don't worry.
I made her a steak.
Thank you.
Okay, I'll see you tomorrow morning.
Okay.
Damn, that smells good.
Don's stuck in New York.
He's flying in tomorrow morning.
Was that him? Yeah, he's frustrated.
I told him not to worry.
Wait, do you want to eat outside? I do that all the time.
I love that you're wearing Anna's ring.
Oh, yes.
It's beautiful.
I'm sorry I never met her.
She's around.
Believe me, you've met her.
She's happy it's in the family.
Well, maybe you'll have someone there to give it to.
Oh, no.
It's yours now.
You'll probably have someone of your own.
We'll see.
I don't know.
Don's kids are plenty for me.
I haven't eaten meat in a year.
I don't think this is a good idea.
I can make spaghetti.
It's probably hard with you here and him there.
Are you with someone? Not right now.
He was a musician.
They're the worst.
Dropped out of school.
Followed him down here.
Started flush at the beach, ended up downtown panhandling.
And then he got busted dealing grass and we celebrated before he went away.
He'll be out in a month.
So will this little guy.
- Does he know? - No.
I'm afraid he'd murder someone just to stay in jail.
- I won't tell Don.
- Oh, I don't care.
I know all of his secrets.
But you don't know him very well.
You're right.
You're right.
It's just I'm looking at you and seeing how, well, disorganized this all is.
And I don't think he'd stand for that.
I don't think he'd trust you to make your own plans.
I don't know what I'm doing here.
This was a dumb idea.
No, no, I mean, he wants to help, I'm sure, in his way.
We both do.
I'm going to give you.
" would $1,000 get you far enough? That's very generous.
This comes with no strings.
Thank you.
I really think it's better this way.
You're right.
I'm gonna take off.
You haven't eaten anything yet.
I guess I got what I came for.
There's no rush.
Nothing ever happened between us, you know.
Of course not.
You're his niece.
I know that.
The children are asleep.
- What about your headache? - Keep your voice down.
I did not appreciate going stag to four people's homes whom I barely know.
I'm sorry.
I wasn't feeling well.
You didn't have to go.
Hey, Emily Post, why were you talking about the war? I didn't bring it up.
But maybe I should more because I didn't know where you stood.
I shouldn't have to brief you because you shouldn't be talking about those things.
I'm not a dinner companion.
I'm their elected representative.
- You ran unopposed.
- We'll see if that lasts.
From now on, keep your conversation to how much you hate getting toast crumbs in the butter and leave the thinking to me! Henry! I'm sorry.
It just caught me off-guard.
Well, you embarrassed yourself way more than me.
You know what? I decided I can see that Monday.
Good night.
Hello? What? ls she okay? Hello? Oh, hi.
- Who are you? - I'm Amy.
- We met on the phone.
- ls Megan here? Oh, Don.
I Amy, do you mind? I'll just use the ladies'.
I'm sorry, but she left.
You told her I wanted to see her? I really tried to get her to stay.
But the money already came up and I gave her $1,000.
She must have been embarrassed.
She said she'd call you from Oakland.
You should have called me.
At least let me talk to her.
She's an adult, Don.
Do you want to go to the market with us? You know, I'm gonna have company tonight.
Maybe it'll cheer you up.
We'll go.
Amy.
- Is everything okay? - Yes.
- We should go.
- Anything for you, Don? I know what he likes.
Ahem.
We're back.
- Let me see.
- She's fine.
Couple of black eyes.
Ow.
Can I go lie down? I want to know what really happened.
They were sword fighting with golf clubs.
- We're idiots, okay? - You are.
You can't be trusted on your own.
That's your face, young lady.
That's right, it's my face.
- Why am I even here? - Girls! Girls! Please.
Sally, you can understand how your mother and I are both worried about your nose.
Yeah, I know, because where would Mom be without her perfect nose? She wouldn't find a man like you.
She'd be nothing.
It was a perfect nose.
And I gave it to you! You're lucky Henry is important enough to get Dr.
Kramer to fix it this weekend.
I suppose you'd rather do it in a barn in Farmington.
It's a nose job, not an abortion.
- I'm going to break your arm next.
- Betty! Don't worry about me finding a man.
I already have you to keep me in line.
You're going to your room and you're going to wait there until morning.
Good, I prefer it.
Hello? Just a minute.
It's for Megan again.
Megan? It's Green Matt's.
Hello.
The main door was open and you didn't check the peephole? It's a bad neighborhood.
What are you doing here? I wanted to tell you-- May I? Michael.
I was just in the office and there's something going on.
- What? - The computer.
It's Saturday.
Take the day off.
That's right, so why were Lou and Cutler having a secret meeting in that air-conditioned lair? - I don't know.
- But I do.
They're homos.
Okay.
Anything else to report? Peggy, it's serious.
That machine makes men do unnatural things.
What did you see? - Who are you? -This is Julio.
- Hello.
- Hey.
I'd like to say Peggy's mentioned you at work, but she hasn't.
Julio lives upstairs.
Interesting arrangement.
Very modern.
I live with my mama.
I live with my pop, which is why I can't work at home.
Can I please work here? I can't go back to the office.
Not right now.
I'll stay out of your way.
Fine.
Can I use your typewriter? It's too loud.
"You've Made Me So Very Happy" playing You've treated me so kind I'm about to lose my mind You make me so very happy I'm so glad you Came into my life I wouldn't have invited them both if I had known.
I swear, I thought she was his daughter.
Don't you kind of want to see what happens? I'm doing fine.
I don't think you are doing fine.
Maybe I'm not in the mood.
Oh, sorry.
This is why I never invite musicians.
Boo! What a merry band of players we are.
So you're an actress, too? I will be if someone will let me.
"Petite Fleur" playing Come on.
Come on in.
Want another drink? Is that Harry? Don.
Megan.
I'm sorry.
Miranda here invited me to a party.
I didn't know this was it.
Hi, Miranda.
This place is out of sight.
I've been trying to help Miranda find an agent.
You're so helpful.
Harry, what do you say we go get a drink? - Do you mind? - No, of course not.
As long as Harry drives.
Well, I- we-- should I bring Miranda along? Do you want to? Sorry, honey.
We'll get you a ride.
She better not catch you in here.
But then I'm not gonna get to see you.
That's the way Betty likes it.
Are they gonna get divorced? What? No.
They're the Dynamic Duo.
That's never going to happen.
The other night, they were really screaming at each other.
I saw Henry take a pillow to the den.
I'm gonna hitch back to school tonight.
Can I come with you? You want to run away? I have a stomach ache all the time.
You're not gonna piss, are you? I don't do that anymore.
I'm sorry.
They'll never let you out.
You're too little.
- Michael.
- I'm sorry.
The kid left an hour ago.
It's interesting because first you were dead, then all this activity started in your eyelids.
Time to go.
There's this pressure in my head like there's a hydrogen bomb that's gonna go off.
And then I realize it's that hum in the office.
It's getting to me.
I caught myself looking at Stan's shoulders and getting, you know, excited.
- Really? - That's the computer's plan.
Turn us all homo.
Peggy, we got to reproduce.
If there was a way to do it without having sex, I'd do it.
Stop it! You have to leave.
Great.
What am I doing? It's building up.
Well, maybe you should see a doctor or something.
Why? 'Cause I want you? No, because you're not right.
Did you notice the radio doesn't work in there anymore? That's not my imagination.
It's just a computer! No, you're right.
I'm gonna go.
You don't have to report this information.
Good night.
"How Much Can a Man Take?" playing This is so much better.
Do you not want to talk? Because you seemed so happy to see me.
I was.
I am.
Good.
'Cause I was happy to see you.
You know what, Don? lam put in a strange position.
But I want you to know I respect you.
Agencies change.
For the better, maybe.
But guys like us, we've got to look out for each other.
I'm not gonna tell your wife.
That's not what I meant.
You wouldn't do that.
We go back along way, don't we? We do.
Well, I'm going to make sure that you're still important.
I don't know how.
It's gonna take some thought.
It's going to take some major brain power.
In fact, you might have to figure it out.
I think the solution here is not to get rid of you.
You should be in LA.
Your wife's out here.
Ted Chaough is useless.
Use-less.
Ted Chaough.
Broken man.
What solution? Oh, this is the final solution.
Cutler and Lou are pursuing Commander.
- Commander who? - No, Commander cigarettes.
Philip Morris.
I think they're pretty sure that they can land it and you'll have to go.
How long has this been going on? ls there work? Don't make me sorry I told you.
I hope you know how much I appreciate this.
So far, just phone calls.
But I turned in the media plan yesterday.
Can we get another round? Hello.
Everybody just left.
Not everybody.
Wilma! Ah! How was the night on the town with Harry Crane? Educational.
You know what would make you feel better? Drugs.
I'm tired.
But you just got here.
I'm going to bed.
There goes the fun.
I'm supposed to tuck you in.
And what does your friend say? I don't want you to be in a bad mood.
Stop playing around.
You're stoned.
Don't you like Amy? Leave him alone.
This is the best place to be right now, Don.
Right here.
Kiss her.
I know you want to.
I don't want anything right now.
Don't lie.
- Hey.
- I can't find the coffee.
I'll get it.
Good morning.
Hello? Oh, yes, hi.
He made it.
It's Stephanie.
Oh.
Where are you? I'm back in Oakland.
I felt bad about missing you, but I didn't want to break my word.
You did.
You told me you were gonna be here.
I know, but I kind of promised Anna I'd let you live your life.
That is not what she meant.
Like it or not, I'm worried about you.
I want you to call me when the baby comes.
I want to take care of anything you need.
I'm so grateful.
And that Megan's really solid.
Thank her for me again.
You have my number.
Bye-bye.
- I'm sorry.
- She sounds okay.
I have to get back.
Harry told me some things I shouldn't have been told.
- What is wrong with him? - No, I'm glad.
But I have to get back.
Really? But you're still coming back next weekend, right? Of course.
Hello, everyone.
Bye, everyone.
I'm making coffee.
I'm gonna split.
Great party.
I'm gonna shower.
"Abendlich Strahlt der Sonne Auge" playing How'd it go? She doesn't need an operation.
It's not even broken.
Come on.
Let's go inside.
I'm comfortable here right now.
I just drove to White Plains and back up to Farmington.
I don't want to sit in the kitchen like the help.
"The help"? I'm going to assume you're not referring to me.
What's gotten into you? You come in and ask me to move just because you feel like moving.
I'm comfortable in here or I wouldn't be sitting in here! Knock it off.
I'm tired of everyone telling me to shut up.
I'm not stupid.
I speak Italian.
I'm sorry I embarrassed you.
You're sorry you forgot to inform me what I am supposed to think.
Guess what.
I think all by myself.
You're so smart.
Why don't you run for office? You know what, Henry? I don't know what I'm going to do, but that's a good idea.
Good morning, Michael.
How are you? Can't you tell? I'm myself again.
Oh, good.
Glad to hear that.
But I do want to say in the clearness of day, I have feelings for you.
Well, I'm flattered.
And that happens when you work with people, but it's not real.
I realized it was the waves of data.
They were filling me up.
I had to find the release.
I removed the pressure.
Now it just flows through me without affecting me at all.
It has an outlet.
Open it.
You don't have to thank me for that.
It's obviously something you did on your own.
What is that? It's my nipple.
It's the valve.
It's weird-- they'll sew it up, but they won't take it off.
I had to do that myself.
Anyway, I'm grateful, so I wanted to show it.
Michael, sit down.
I want you to wait here.
Did Mr.
Ginsberg find you? "Savoy" playing Jim, Lou.
Sorry to interrupt.
You must be Les.
Don Draper.
Don.
This is Stephen and Tony.
We weren't expecting you, Don.
I know that and I apologize.
I just wanted to say something that I think these gentlemen from Philip Morris are too polite to say.
We know who you are and we're only talking about a presentation right now.
But we do have a problem working with the man who cut our throat in "The New York Times.
" Well, if you were to give us a shot, I'm prepared to leave the agency.
Don, thanks for saying that so that we don't have to.
Just know the man that wrote that letter was trying to save his business, not destroy yours.
Like Lou, I have over 10 years of tobacco experience.
Since my first day on Lucky Strike, the government was building a scaffold for your whole industry.
And I found a way to stay that execution in '60, '62, '64, and '65.
I'm also the only cigarette man who sat down with the opposition.
They shared their strategy with me and I know how to beat it.
That may be true, but we don't turn on our friends as easily as you do.
I just keep thinking what your friends at American Tobacco would think if you made me apologize.
Force me into your service.
They are still your competition, aren't they? Gentlemen, thank you for your time.
Get out while you can! I'm gonna ride down with him.
You're incredible.
Thank you.
You think this is going to save you, don't you? "Only Daddy That'll Walk the Line" playing Taxi! And I'm getting pretty tired of it You keep stepping out of line and messing with my mind If you had any sense, you'd quit 'Cause ever since you were a little bitty teeny girl You said I was the only man in this whole world Now you better do some thinking, then you'll find You got the only daddy that'll walk the line I keep working every day, all you want to do is play I'm tired of staying out all night I'm coming unglued from your funny little moods Now, honey, baby, that ain't right 'Cause ever since you were a little bitty teeny girl You said I was the only man in this whole world Now you better do some thinking, then you'll find You got the only daddy that'll walk the line.