Doc Martin (2004) s07e06 Episode Script

- Have you confirmed everything with the children's entertainer? - Yes.
Don't worry.
Did you get that stuff for the party bags? Er, no, haven't done that yet.
I wrote a list, I'm sure it's somewhere.
- Morning.
- Oh, morning, Martin.
He was up all night, I didn't get any sleep.
- Oh, I'll take a look at him.
- He's probably just teething.
All his teeth are showing, so that is unlikely.
- Perhaps you haven't been giving him enough solid food? - Yes, I have.
Are you following the ratio of solid food to milk intake? There is nothing wrong with James's diet.
Ah, list, got it.
- Our appointment with Dr Timoney is in 18 minutes.
- Yes, I know.
Entertainer.
Party bags.
Paper plates and cups.
Is a birthday party really necessary at 12 months? - He won't remember it.
- He'll enjoy it while it's happening.
- Children love parties.
- I didn't.
Don't worry.
I'm on it.
- Can you stay late tonight, at all? - 17 minutes.
Sorry.
I'm going to Truro to see my eyebrow woman.
Not to worry.
I'll take care of him after his bath but we must leave now.
- I don't want to keep her waiting.
- Right, yes.
You be a good boy now.
Louisa! Yes, and don't drive too fast, I've got to a report to write.
Yeah.
'Bye bye, Janice.
Have a nice day, Janice.
' - Oh, morning, my love! - Oh, I thought you'd be having a lie-in.
- I've got a pot of tea brewing and I put the washing on.
- Oh no.
I've got a 'pecific way of doing things.
Ah, a medium setting with a dash of vinegar during the rinsing cycles reduces wrinkles in the clothing, right? - You remembered.
- I remember everything about you, Sal.
Right.
Huh.
Before we end today, I want to talk a little about beginnings the beginning of your relationship.
Martin, what were your first impressions of Louisa? Um A woman in her 30s, appearing to be in good in good health but, er, suffering from acute glaucoma.
Is that it? Well, I'd only just met her.
Tell me your first impressions of Martin.
I thought he wouldn't last five minutes in Portwenn.
Why's that? He just looked so out of place here.
So you fell in love with someone you thought from the outset wouldn't stay.
I didn't do it on purpose.
Not consciously, anyway.
Both your parents left you.
Is that what love means to you? I'm not really sure what you're getting at.
Have you considered that the example your parents set has affected you more deeply than you think? That you fall in love with someone you think will leave you? What do you both actually want, from your relationship? Martin? To be with Louisa.
I miss her.
Right.
So where do we go from here? We were talking about first impressions.
You could get to know each other again.
Spend some time together, enjoy each others' company.
- Like a date? - Exactly.
Yeah.
We didn't really go on dates, we just sort of Well, now's your chance.
Martin, how does that sound to you? I'm sorry.
I don't really understand.
Martin, it's quite common for a couple every now and again to have a meal out together.
- A meal, in a restaurant.
- Yes.
- Yes.
Martin, that's exactly right.
We can discuss how it went next time.
Good.
Did you see the er Lancet this month? No, no, I don't subscribe.
There's an interesting article examining the interface - between psychotherapists and general practitioners.
- Oh.
It's very well written.
Very clear.
- Do you mind if I borrow it? - No, no, I brought it in for you, keep it.
- Thank you.
- You're welcome.
- I look forward to reading it.
Hello.
.
Oh, hello, son.
I'd love to, it's just that I'm a bit busy at the moment.
What am I'm doing? Well, I'm doing It's just that I'm I'm in the middle of Well, right.
I'll see directly.
You and Dr Timoney have quite a rapport.
She's an intelligent woman.
She certainly has that going for her.
- Ruth ordered the birthday cake, didn't she? - Yes.
It's so kind of her to have offered, and it's a pirate cake.
- Oh, he loves pirates.
- Yes, she's going to collect it as well.
I hope she doesn't forget.
As far as I'm aware she's not prone to memory lapses.
- Are you free tomorrow night? - Yeah.
Why? I thought we might go out to dinner.
I'll have to check if Janice is free to babysit.
Janice.
Janice Janice.
- Oh, God, they're early.
- Who's early? Oh, it's a church group.
Some kids visiting from London.
Oh.
Oh.
 Danny what's-his-name.
Yeah.
It was all very last minute.
Lou! Hi! Wow, look at you.
You've not changed a bit.
Look.
I'm sorry, we're early.
Martin, mate, I'm glad you're here.
Bit of an incident.
You might need your bag of tricks.
One of the kids has got her foot caught between the seats.
I think it might be broken.
How did they get their foot caught? - It's a long story.
Just through here.
- What happened? Through here.
They were mucking about on the bus - and then somehow they must Let us through.
- Hello.
- Just up here.
- Out of the way.
Does it hurt? Louisa, oh.
.
Doc.
- How did it happen? - I was trying to get away from Jake.
- I didn't touch her! - He threw up on me.
- Didn't.
- Don't lie Jake.
I told you not to drink so much, Jake.
Be quiet.
- It hurts.
- All right.
- Look, I think if we just -- - No Just get off.
Oh.
- Is it broken? - No, of course it isn't.
I'll need to scan her, though.
- Can I have a cast? - No, you can't.
OK, Martin, I'll come with you.
Pippa, if you could take Danny and the rest of the children back into the school.
This way everyone.
You've got sandwiches.
You must be starving.
You're a God-send, mate.
- What are you up to? - I thought if I did the restocking.
you'd have time for the more important stuff.
Oh, that's lovely, Clive.
Thank you.
Now, I've been thinking.
- Yes, my love? - Perhaps you'd like to move your things upstairs again.
- Really? - Yes.
Oh well, that's that's wonderful.
Mm.
I'll get to work on that tomorrow.
Well, you can do it today, if you like.
- Oh, Sal.
- Mm? You know what I always say.
Don't do today what you can put off till tomorrow.
- What's that thing? - It's an ultrasound scanner.
- Are you going to operate? - Stop talking.
- Is it broken? - No, the ligament isn't even torn, it's just as I thought, it's bruised.
- You'll be better in two or three days.
- Aw.
I wanted a cast.
You put your shoe on.
I'll take you back - Can I have a word? - Yeah.
I'll be back in a minute.
What's he doing here? Who? What, Danny? - Why didn't you tell me? - Tell you what, Martin? - I didn't know that you were still in contact with him.
- I'm not.
He asked me for a favour.
His church was going to take children from London camping in the country with another Cornish school but the children, not his children, the others, got norovirus.
It's not a big deal.
He called me yesterday to see if I knew anywhere.
I told him about Al's place and my year sixers will show them around.
It's really not a big deal.
So you keep saying.
Come on, Mala, let's get you back.
At first I thought it was the flu but I couldn't seem to shake it.
Um And oh, I feel tired all the time, too.
Yes, your temperature's high.
- How long have you been feeling nauseous? - Three to four weeks.
Since I got back.
From India.
You been? It's not as cheap as you think.
Ran out of money.
- There's nothing in your notes about going to India.
- Why would there be? Vaccinations.
Tetanus, diphtheria, Japanese encephalitis.
I went to India not Japan.
I'll need a urine sample.
Well, I just been.
I can't go again straight away.
Well, when you can go.
Go in to this and bring it in.
Have you got five minutes, Doc? - Have you got an appointment? - No.
- Is it a medical emergency? Well, it depends what you mean by an emergency.
- It's personal.
- All right.
Come through.
What? I have neglected Sal.
I almost drove her into another man's arms.
Well I don't need to tell you that, Doc.
And now, I want to restore my marriage to the way it should be.
But things are going much quicker than I thought.
And some things, aren't.
The thing is things are not so shipshape below deck.
- What are you talking about? - Right.
Sorry.
OK, I have a dormancy in the male area.
Erectile dysfunction is not a medical emergency.
It is to me.
I've been taking that.
- I thought I had time for the effects to wear off.
- Is this potassium bromide? Yes.
A lot of guys take it on the rigs, - to calm the urges, so to speak.
- That is insane.
You can do irreparable damage.
- That's why I'm here Doc, I think I have.
- Roll up your sleeve.
I don't want Sal to think that I don't find her desirable.
Do you think you could give me one of those pick-me-ups? One of those little blue tablets? Erectile dysfunction medication only tackles the physical side, not your libido.
You'd need a testosterone supplement.
Right, Doc, I'll have some of that as well.
Mr Tishell, I am not a dispensing chemist.
I won't prescribe anything until I have run a set of blood tests and I'm satisfied you aren't suffering from potassium bromide abuse.
And then we're set to go? Ooh! Squeezy.
Mm.
Talk about short notice! 14 kids, two adults, one day's notice.
You're not the only one who's been inconvenienced, boy.
Oh yeah, cos you're so busy, aren't you? Every day's a holiday for you.
- Got any decent food? - Oi, this is decent food.
Oi! Uh-uh, little man.
One juice per person.
Put 'em back.
I'm taking two.
What are you going to do? Idiots! Charming.
Why did you say you'd do this? Actually, why did you say I'd do this? - Well, Danny was in a bind.
- You sure about that? I mean, you two have got history.
Maybe, you know, he's still carrying a torch.
- Oh, that was a very long time ago.
- Mm.
Now, you're OK staying overnight with the children? - I mean, I'd do it but I just can't leave James.
- Well, you owe me.
And not just a bottle of wine.
- How about two bottles of wine? - And that one! What? Why are you shouting at me? He asked me if I came to work in my combine harvester.
Jake, give me the drink.
Oh, he's at it again.
I'm on it.
Oi! - Here, I've got it.
- Oh.
Thank you.
Good to see you again.
You're looking well.
Yeah, well, it's been a while, how've you been? Oh, a little older, little bit wiser.
Not much has changed, really.
Mortgage is paid off, the business is ticking over.
Got no family to worry about, not that I wouldn't like one.
A lot has changed for you, though, hasn't it? How's married life? Oh, you know, fine.
Hardly sounds like a ringing endorsement.
I just don't want to talk about it.
Well, it can't be easy living under the same roof as Martin.
Yeah, well, you know.
Sorry, that was unkind.
It's just I never really understood the man.
Good job, living in one of the most beautiful places on God's earth, with you.
Why doesn't he have a smile on his face? Well, the thing is, Danny, - we're not actually living together at the moment.
- Oh, really? Sorry.
I'm sure it'll be OK.
Well, I hope so.
- Jake here's not a happy camper.
- I want to go home.
- What's up, Jake? - I miss my dad.
It's going to be great, Jake, we're going to camp out, play games, learn about nature.
Yeah, they've got cows and stuff.
Yeah, you're going to have a lot of fun.
- If you think that's fun, you're a moron.
- Oh.
Jake.
That is not the way we talk to Miss Glasson.
Ellingham.
Mrs Ellingham.
- Sorry.
My stomach hurts.
- You'll feel better when you've eaten.
Now go back and finish putting up your tent.
- Oh, sorry.
I'm going to be late.
- I'll give you a lift back.
No, it's fine, cos Al said he would give me a lift.
Right, see you tomorrow.
- At the beach.
- Yeah, at the beach.
Oh, sorry.
Take care of yourself, Lou.
And thanks again for helping me out.
- Well, good luck with the children tonight.
- Nah, it's great.
It's our biggest booking to date.
I mean, it's not so great for the kids with the norovirus -- - Oh, there's Martin.
- Eh? - Can you just drop me off here, Al? - Oh, yeah, yeah.
- Thank you so much.
- Yeah, cheers, Louisa.
- Bye.
- See you.
I didn't expect to see you two down here.
I thought James might appreciate a little stroll before his bath.
Is Daddy showing you the seagulls? Oh, yeah! I've I've um booked us a table for dinner tomorrow night at The Castle.
- Jemima's going to babysit.
- It's It's Janice.
- Janice.
- That's great.
- That's all set, then.
- Yes.
- How was your day? - Busy.
Yeah.
Dead on my feet.
- And Danny? - Yeah, he seems to have everything under control.
- Oh, yes, I bet he does.
- Look, I know you have a problem - with Danny being here.
- No, I don't.
I told you.
I just didn't know you were in contact.
Well, I told you, I am not in contact with him.
Look, it's been a very long day.
I just want to take James home for his bath.
I'm sure you've got things to do.
Copies of the Lancet to read.
Articles to cut out and share, hm? I'll speak to you tomorrow.
Is there enough space for your things, Clive? All fine.
More than enough.
I.
.
I.
.
I thought we might have shepherd's pie for dinner tonight.
What did I do to deserve this? Do I need a reason to treat my husband? Peas? - Ooh, I'm looking forward - Mm.
OK, kids.
Let's see who's the first to spot a crab? - I'm allergic to seafood.
- But not rock pools.
This whole place makes me feel ill.
Instead of complaining, be grateful that people have given their time and money for you to have a holiday? - Danny! Look, I've found one! - Oh, good man.
Whatever.
Oi, Jake.
Oi.
Watch the top.
Harry! No throwing.
- How's it going? - Oh, great, great.
We did crafts this morning.
Dream catcher.
See, all the bad stuff gets caught in the net.
- I made it for you.
- Oh, that's so lovely.
It's colourful.
It's - Oh, thank you.
- That's all right.
Thank you.
Hi, Pippa.
I've only got a minute, I've got to get back.
I wanted to check how things are.
I had the worst night of my life.
Midges eating me half to death.
I've got some cream for that.
I must go, but.
.
good to see you.
- Are you staying for the barbecue tonight? - I can't, I've got plans.
- Oh, anything special? - Yeah, well.
Dinner.
Fair enough.
It's really good to see you again, Lou.
Yeah.
Good to see you too.
Bye.
- I'll see you around.
- Yeah.
Three times a day after food.
Goodbye.
How can I help you today, Doctor Ellingham? - Glaucoma eye drops.
- Glaucoma eye drops.
- Ultrasound scanner sheaths.
- Scanner sheaths.
- I haven't left much room in that wardrobe for you now.
- Um - Hello, Doc.
- Hello.
Um (Clive is my husband.
) (I made a vow.
) I hope you understand, Doctor.
Three fine suture packs.
Three fine suture packs.
Yes, certainly, Doctor Ellingham, I'll just get those for you.
Be right back.
Thank you.
- Any news on those blood tests, Doc? - Not yet.
- And you can't prescribe something for me in the meantime? - No.
Doc, I'm desperate.
Here you go, Doctor Ellingham.
- Thank you.
- Thank you.
Oh, for God's sake.
You could have just popped behind a rock.
I'm not from the country.
I use an actual toilet.
- Hey, Hi there.
- Yes.
Jake, Doctor Ellingham.
Yeah, I know.
Oh, hey.
Hello.
Hello.
 Oh, good boy! I've been ferrying Jake back and forth to these toilets half the day.
- Remember when we were young? We would just go anywhere.
- No.
By the way, I'm sorry to hear about you and Lou.
- What do you mean? - Things aren't going so well.
- You two aren't living together.
- Did Louisa tell you that? - If you want to talk about it -- - I don't.
People say marriage is hard work.
But others say if you have to work hard at it, maybe it's not meant to be.
- Does this have a point? - I'm just worried about Lou.
Her name is Louisa, not Lou, and it's none of your business.
Martin, she's one of my oldest friends.
So it is entirely my business if you've made Louisa unhappy.
In fact I might go so far as to say, she deserves better.
Excuse me.
Just popping out to the shops.
Is there anything you want? Just you, my love.
- Just like old times, boy, eh? - Don't say that.
Whenever you say that, something bad happens.
- Yes, you did.
- No, I didn't.
- Liar! - You calling me a liar? Fight, fight, fight, fight! Hey, hey, hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! That's enough.
Now.
 What's all this about? - He peed his pants.
- I didn't, I spilt some juice.
That is not a nice thing to say about someone.
- He's the one who punched me.
- Harry.
OK, Jake.
I'm sorry.
Jake.
You apologise.
I'm sorry you were born.
It's bad enough that you want to ruin this for yourself, Jake.
Seriously, I feel sorry for you.
But to ruin it for everyone else? - I just want to go home.
- He's homesick.
Is that right, Jake? Is that why you've been acting up? Fine.
I tried to talk to you like an adult.
Now get back to your tent and have a think about that attitude of yours.
Right, come on, everyone.
Let's get back to the sharing circle.
We need to share this out.
For goodness sake, all this negativity.
Take a seat in reception.
Someone will be here to collect you.
Next patient.
Mr Peacock.
- Mr Tishell's results are in.
- Mm.
In you go, Drew.
Namaste.
- There's a present, as requested.
- Great.
- I'll get that off to the lab.
- Cool.
Anything else? You.
Come with me.
Mr Peacock.
Mr Peacock! Come out here.
Sit in that seat, hold your things.
Come through.
Not there.
 Sit there.
I need to run some tests but I think you have Hepatitis A.
Hepatitis? Why? Your urine is dark brown, and your skin is yellow.
Your liver could be inflamed.
- How? - How, I don't know.
You could have eaten food contaminated - with the faeces of a carrier when you were travelling.
- That's disgusting.
Well, if you'd bothered to get vaccinated I wouldn't be wasting my time.
- Well, I thought I didn't need them.
- You didn't think at all.
If you test positive, you'll have to stay home for a few weeks.
- I'm sorry, I can't miss work.
- Hepatitis A is highly infectious.
I'm skint.
You will have to keep hydrated and avoid alcohol.
Doesn't sound like much fun.
It's hepatitis A.
It's not a party.
- Sally.
- Janice.
James.
You shouldn't have.
- They're not for you.
- know.
I'm not stupid.
Right.
Oh, sorry.
I got held up at school.
Are you OK, Martin? Yes Um, I got you some flowers.
- Thank you, Martin.
They're lovely.
- Yes.
Aw! I'll put them in some water.
I'll do it.
Oh, would you? Thanks, Janice.
We won't be late.
Bye-bye, darling.
I'll have the mussels, no cream and the pollock.
 No butter.
- Any wine with the meal? I can recommend -- - No, just water.
Well, a glass of chardonnay, actually, please.
Very good.
A chardonnay for the lady and water for the gentleman.
This is nice.
The table is significant.
It's where we met.
Properly.
For the first time.
- And I gave you a very hard time during the interview.
- Mm.
You never mentioned before that you only thought I'd last five minutes.
Well, that's what therapy is for, isn't it? - Saying things we never said.
- Five minutes, though.
I didn't actually mean five minutes.
I meant more like five days, months, years, you know.
Right.
Is something wrong with the food? What? No.
Mm! Another glass of wine? Mm.
I hope Janice remembered to get the napkins for James's party because they match the cups and plates, I forgot to remind her.
Why did you discuss our private life with your friend, Danny? I didn't.
Well, I sort of did in passing.
But why, did you speak to him? Yes.
 What did you say? Well, just the truth.
That we'd been having a few problems and we we're trying to work them out.
And that we've been living apart.
That's a lot of information to give in passing.
- What do you want? - I've got the starters.
- Yes.
- Thank you.
I'll just get some pepper for the soup.
Yeah.
Thanks.
Well, I'm sorry.
I shouldn't have said anything to Danny.
Let's try and enjoy our dinner.
I hope James is all right.
- Oh, it's Danny.
- Don't answer it.
- No, I have to Hello.
- No, I can't.
- Louisa.
Ssh! Because I'm having dinner.
Say that again.
How? Right.
Mm-mm.
Yeah.
Fine.
I'll be there.
Sorry, I've got to go.
One of the London kids, Jake, is missing.
- He's been gone for two hours.
- He can cope.
No.
We're talking about a missing child here, sorry I've got to go.
- Right, I'll come with you.
- Yes.
Sorry.
Thank you.
No pepper, just the bill.
The bill, quickly! Al and Bert are out looking, Joe Penhale as well.
I've just come back.
- Where's Danny? - Singing.
- Singing? - With the kids.
He's just sitting there and singing.
Hasn't even been out to look for Jake, said he was waiting for you.
Amazing grace how sweet the sound That saved a wretch like me -- - Danny, Danny.
- A child is missing and you're just playing a guitar.
- I was keeping their spirits up while I waited.
- You didn't need to wait.
There's no point in us all trampling over the same ground, is there? - Right well, so what happened? - Jake was sick again.
The kids laughed at him, I think he ate too much barbecue.
I sent him to his tent to clean up, when I checked he was gone.
The boy was sick again, the one who was constantly urinating? - He could be ill.
- Right.
Pippa you stay here.
- Look after the kids.
- Do I have to guitar? - No, you do not.
- Louisa.
- Right.
 Probably best if we all split up.
We can cover more ground that way.
Danny, you go that way.
Jake.
Jake.
Jake.
Jake.
Any sign of the child? - I'm OK.
I'm OK.
- Let me see.
Yes.
You're fine.
Actually, it does really hurt, but no, no sign of the kid yet.
I thought he might be hiding.
I used to hide when I was a kid.
It's no fun playing hide and seek on your own.
That's right, Doc, you go that way, keep your eyes peeled.
Jake! Jake! - Jake! - Jake! Where are you? He must be here somewhere.
He's always been difficult, but I thought this trip would help him.
What if I was wrong? I thought he was just mucking around.
Well, the main thing is that we keep looking.
Whoa.
You OK? No, I'm fine.
It's just that I'm not dressed for a search party.
No.
But you do look beautiful.
Thank you.
- You've got something in your - Oh, what is it? - It's a bit of cobweb.
- Oh.
- I've really missed you, Lou.
- Danny, that's really inappropriate.
You're right.
You're right.
Um, Absolutely.
Maybe Maybe I'm tired of being appropriate.
- You told me you're unhappy.
- No, I said things had been difficult.
Um.
It's not too late to change things.
- Look, Danny -- - Think about it.
- No! - Think about it.
- No.
I wasn't meant to be here, the kids got ill, plans changed.
We were brought back together.
God works in mysterious ways.
- Does he? - Martin.
- We were just looking for Jake.
- Really? I thought you were just saying that God works in mysterious ways.
All right.
Well, maybe it's time to face up to the truth.
You're both miserable.
You're not right for each other.
Let her go.
- Let her find someone else.
- Someone like you, I suppose.
- Maybe, yes.
- That was Danny -- - No.
This moment, here.
It's kismet.
- It's what? - Don't you know what it means? It's fate.
Kismet is when you encounter something by chance that seems like it was meant to be.
And what about what sanctimonious means? Or smug.
There is a child missing! Can you both please get a grip? We need to find Jake.
Jake! Jake.
- Here's Joe.
- Joe! - So have you seen the boy? - Not yet.
- Suspicious vehicle parked up there, though.
- No, no, that's just my van.
Don't worry about that, I've already been that way.
All the same, better check.
Marking the place off, sector by sector.
Of course, but it seems a waste to send our most valuable team member down a dead end.
Why don't I take a look for you? I suppose that makes sense.
Remain in contact.
Of course.
Our most valuable team member? - What's going on, Dad? - Nothing.
I just want to lock the van.
Hey.
- What's up, boy? - Dad, look, he's here.
Jake.
Jake.
Jake, mate.
You're all right mate, you're OK.
Urgh! - Wake him up, boy.
- Come on, come on.
I can't.
Doc! Doc, over here.
Oh, he's been sick again.
- I see you've got an illegal still on the go, Bert.
- Oh, nice one, Dad.
- Jake's been complaining about being thirsty.
- Has he? Ah, a breath test.
Good thinking.
It's a glucose testing kit.
He hasn't been drinking alcohol.
It's acetone you can smell on his breath.
Ketoacidosis.
- He's in a diabetic coma.
- Pretty sure he's not diabetic.
Oh, really.
That's your considered opinion, is it? Vomiting, you said he's constantly thirsty, frequently urinating, and he's got a blood glucose level of 29.
He's seriously ill.
- Thank God you were here(!) - Look, I'm man enough to know when I'm wrong.
- People misread signals, it happens.
- Danny, be quiet, it's not helping.
Jake, Jake.
- Is he all right? - Not yet.
He needs to go to hospital.
- Danny, take him, that saves waiting for an ambulance.
- Yes.
Tell them I've given him ten units of insulin subcutaneously.
Lou, I think you should come with me.
Danny.
You don't need me to come with you.
And my name's Louisa.
I hate being called Lou.
I'll do that, my love.
You go to bed.
Oh, right.
Right-o.
Huh! A mobile still.
That's dodgy.
Even for you, Dad.
Ruth was OK about it.
- OK with the police being involved, was she? - No, no, no, no.
She'd give me some weeks to refine it, so long as I didn't draw attention to it.
Well, you've blown that now, haven't you.
I was so close, boy.
So close.
Story of our lives, that one.
Oh! Clive! Clive? Clive.
What are you doing down there? Clive? Oh, God! You must be hungry.
We didn't really finish our dinner, did we? Honestly, I'm shattered.
I just want to check on James and get straight to bed.
Louisa -- I don't Ellingham.
Have you called an ambulance? Right, I'll be right there.
Clive Tishell's had a heart attack.
- Is there anything I can do? - No, look after James.
I've got to get the defibrillator.
Don't die on me! Clive! Don't you dare! Don't die on me! Doctor, I've been performing CPR.
to every two breaths.
Now, don't do that.
His heart's stopped beating.
Oh, oh, my God.
Oh, please do something.
- Pull his shirt up.
- Clive! Pull his shirt up.
Please, Doc.
Please, Doc, please.
- What's this on his chest? - Moisturiser? - Wipe it off.
- Yes.
Thanks, that'll do.
Please, Clive.
- Don't touch him.
- No, no.
Clear.
Clive, come on now.
Please get up.
Clive, come along.
- And again clear.
- Please, Clive.
Oh! Sal? Clive? Oh, Clive, I'm here.
Clive.
Oh, Clive.
- Clive.
- That's better, his heart's beating.
Yes.
Oh, my God.
- Mr Tishell, what is this on your chest? - Testosterone gel.
I got it from Sal's stock.
- What?! - You stole from my shop? Borrowed really.
- I was worried the Viagra wouldn't be enough.
- You're obsessed.
First it's potassium bromide, and now Viagra and testosterone.
You've given yourself a heart attack.
What's the matter with you two? I'm sorry, Doc, it was a stupid thing to do.
I was desperate.
It was Sal.
You can't blame me, can you? Oh, Clive.
Thank you.
Thank you doc.
- Here let me.
- Oh, thank you.
That cake was very expensive and took a lot of trouble to organise, so I don't want to drop it on the way to the party.
Louisa wants everything to be perfect.
Yes, it was very kind of you to arrange it.
Well, it is my only great-nephew's first birthday, Martin.
I wanted to help.
How was your week? I've had better.
I spoke at a forensic psychiatry conference on Tuesday.
I thought I told you to quieten down.
- Should I just sit down and wait to die, Martin? - No.
It went very well.
I think I could be heard above the snoring.
How's the therapy going? I'm not sure that we're making much progress.
- And why do you think that is? - I'm not sure.
It just doesn't seem to be working.
- Do you want it to work? - Yes, I do.
I'm just not very good at it.
It? Therapy.
Marriage.
You know.
Martin, today is your son's first birthday party.
It might be a good idea to try and look as if you're enjoying yourself.
There's cake.
Everyone loves cake.
I don't.
This dastardly daredevil's going to walk the plank.
Walk the plank.
Walk the plank.
Walk the plank.
Walk Yeah! The sharks have got him, snap, snap, you're dead.
Aaaarrr! Who wants to join my crew? Say 'Aarrr!' Aarrr, I think a pirate hat for the birthday boy.
Watch out, I'll kill you.
I'll stab you.
Go on, go on, go on.
There you go.
- Can everybody give me a good 'Aarrr'? - Aarrr! What shall we do with a drunken sailor What shall we do with a drunken sailor, What shall we do with a drunken sailor Louisa.
Louisa, we've brought the cake.
Where shall we put it? Oh, just over on the table.
With any luck the extra sugar will drive him to a frenzy.
Oh my word, look at that, James.
Thank you Ruth.
It's so fantastic.
Thank you so much.
It's all right.
- I'm sorry I'm a bit late.
- Just as long as you're here.
Oh, Danny phoned.
They're on their way home.
Jake's fine.
Yes.
I spoke to the hospital.
So what do you think of the party? You should have seen James' face when the pirate arrived.
She was Janice's idea, they love her.
Put him in a long boat till he's sober -- What on earth are you doing here.
Out of the way.
- I told you to stay at home.
- It's OK, Doc, I'm actually feeling a lot better.
- Martin, can you please not do this now? - She's got hepatitis.
- What? - You're highly infectious.
Get out of here before you pass it onto these children.
- You've got hepatitis? Seriously? - Just a little bit.
Right, well, you need to leave right now.
- Well, what if I keep a safe distance? - No.
Hepatitis A is highly contagious.
You are putting all these children and their handlers at risk.
Go! Sorry.
I think we need to go now, too.
Look, it's fine because the pirate's leaving.
Please, take some cake home with you.
Just wait a moment, she's leaving now.
If any of you suffer from the following symptoms, please make an appointment at the surgery.
She hasn't been anywhere near the cake.
High temperature, vomiting, nausea, pain in the liver, - or a clay-coloured stool.
- Shame on you.
- If we could make it forty quid.
- No.
No, we can't.
Thank you all for coming.
I'm so sorry.
Well, there's a birthday party for James to remember.
He probably won't remember it because his brain -- If you're going to tell me his brain isn't developed enough or something, Martin, I swear - You're upset.
- Yes, I'm upset.
I'm sorry about the pirate.
No.
It's just It's not your fault.
I just don't know why things have to be so difficult between us.
I just I just wish it was simpler.
Birthday photo! Smile.
- Are you the estate agent? - I'm a doctor.
- You look like an estate agent.
We could certainly use a man like you in Exeter.
- I've been offered a transfer.
- Take it.
Wouldn't break my heart to see you go.
- I do worry.
That's not a bad thing.
- Stop talking.
- Her or me.
- Both of you.
Not every couple who goes through therapy stays together.
Accepting separation is a success in itself.