The Croods: Family Tree (2021) s07e06 Episode Script

1
[grunts in effort]
-[scream]
-[growls]
-[owl hoots]
-[Thunk gasps]
-So weak
Can't go on! [gasps]
-[groaning]
-Thunk, stop being so dramatic.
I'm sure Hope will be bringing
dinner out any second now.
-[grunts] If she doesn't,
you can have one of these, son.
-Ooh! Dad hands!
-Grug.
Stop trying to feed
the children your hands.
-Mom said she was
making something special,
and you can't rush special.
Or sloths.
[very slow chittering]
-Hope everyone's hungry.
I made something special.
[all yell]
-Fine, Thunk.
You can eat your father's hand.
[excited gasp]
Let's live wild,
the world's our own
We built this wheel
now it's gunna roll
You know a spark
becomes a fire wherever we go
Whoa-ho-ho
Stuck together,
stuck, stuck together
It's an evolution
for worse or for better
To find some unity
For all humanity
Because we're
stuck together
In one big family tree
-[gagging]
-What isthat?
-Hope's spicy beetballs!
-I'm sorry.
Did you say meatballs?
-No. Beetballs.
They're made of ground
cucumbeets!
GUY: Mm-hmm
-I've been making them for Phil
and Dawn forever, and realized
I should give everyone
a chance to enjoy them.
Now, who's first?
-[nervous laugh]
I'd love to, Hope,
but I just remembered
I onlyeat food
that doesn't scare me senseless.
-Yeah, I think I'm gonna
stick with my fists. [chomp]
-I've actually been meaning
to cut down on eating.
-Uh, my mouth is broken!
[gibberish]
-I can't say I'm surprised.
You're cave people with
primitive palates, after all.
If it's not raw meat or dirt,
it's not good.
-[chomping] Wait, is raw meat
or dirt an option?
-What about you, Guy?
-Who, me? Oh! [laughs] Well
[panting]
-Phil?
-Oh.
What's that, Philliam?
You're stuck in the well?
I'll save you from
the murky depths! [screams]
-Well, I, for one,
love your beetballs, Mom.
And I wanna thank all of you
because now I get to eat
as many beetballs as I want!
-[groans]
-Where are you going?
-To enjoy these in private,
in case any of you
change your mind
about getting in on
the beetball action.
Bye-bye, beetballs!
[splashing]
You know the drill, lagoon.
This is our little secret.
[gentle snoring]
-Eh
-Ah! Eep! What are you doing?
-A wellness check.
Those beetballs were sus,
and you ate all of them!
-Look, Eep.
I know my mom's beetballs
don't look great.
Or smell great.
And sure,
they're a little goopy and green
and hard, but also soft.
But I'm telling you,
they are delish!
-Yeah. You totally sold it,
but hard pass.
-I'm just glad you're alive.
-PHIL: I've done it!
Behold.
The Betterman Diver Downer!
It's a
submersible aquatic vehicle
that will allow me
to explore the lagoon!
Who knows what wonders
lie beneath the waves.
-Pretty sure the water knows.
[annoyed grumble]
-The point is soon I,
Phil Betterman,
will know all of the lagoon's
deepest mysteries.
-Why do you do that?
-Do what?
-Say your whole name. It's not
like there's another Phil.
-Another Phil?
Excellent idea!
That's going to be
my next project!
-There's gonna be more Phils?
This is it, Croods!
Emergency cave time!
-Bring only what you can carry!
-I'm in.
-[grunts]
-Sorry! Emergency cave's full!
-Well, I love it, Phil!
Not the more yous part,
but the underwater part
sounds relaxing.
When do we leave?
-Soon. And then, we'll unlock
allof the lagoon's
watery secrets.
Perhaps we'll find a gondola,
lost and long forgotten.
Or the very first
underwater lemon drink stand!
Or an ancient
merperson civilization,
abandoned to the deep
many moons ago!
The possibilities are limitless.
DAWN:
You can't go into the lagoon!
-THUNK: Uh
-What? Why not?
-Because it's, um, dangerous.
-No more dangerous
than the elevator,
and you use that every day.
The point is the Diver Downer
is as safe as safe can be.
And there's plenty of room
if any of you would like
to join Hope and me.
[Thunk coughs]
-More Phils?!
We're all gonna die!
-So Grug's a no, but who else
who isn't hysterical
would like to go?
-Sorry, Phil.
I like my water mysterious.
Like my past.
-Yeah. And I like my life alive.
-Uh [panting]
-Fine! More wetventures for us!
-Right. As long as I don't
get wet. I hate getting wet.
-I know! Bathing is the worst.
-Meet me in the woods.
-Huh?
Dawn? Are you eve
-[muffled]
-Were you followed?
-Why would I be followed?
Dawn, what's going on?
-[sighs] The lagoon isn't
the only one keeping secrets.
-[gasps] You have a secret?
-Uh-huh. [deep inhale]
The truth is
I hate my mom's beetballs
but I don't wanna hurt
her feelings.
So every time she makes them,
I pretend to like them,
and then I throw them
into the lagoon!
-Yeesh.
On the one hand, I hate lying.
On the other hand, that's
a really good hiding spot.
-Yeah! Until my dad invented
the Diver Downer.
Now, they're gonna go into
the lagoon, find the beetballs,
banish me from the family,
forcing me to live
in a volcano, and
[hyperventilating]
-It's gonna be okay.
So you threw away
a few beetballs.
Nothing to worry a-beet.
-Ha. Get it?
-Not the time.
And it's way more than a few.
My mom started making beetballs
when I was a baby.
The first steps I ever took
were to dump beetballs
into the lagoon!
-Don't worry. We'll beat this.
'Cause beets.
-Still not the time.
-Fair, but we're getting closer.
[both panting]
[Phil straining]
-Just think, Hope!
Soon [grunting]
I'll be exploring
[straining]
the briny depths
of the lagoon [grunting]
and uncovering
its greatest mysteries!
-[struggling]
-How soon, Phil?
You've been trying
to open that thing forever!
-Need some help?
-Not necessary.
[growling] I've almost got it!
-Are you opening it
the right way?
[straining]
[screaming, grunts]
-Forgot it was pull, not push!
-If you're here to dissuade
your mother and I
from our aquatic adventure,
you're too late!
That raft has sailed.
And by raft,
I mean the Diver Downer.
Although, technically,
it doesn't sail. It submerges.
Oh, and it hasn't moved.
-We're not here to stop you.
-We're here to join you!
-Yeah!
Dawn and I were just talking
about how much fun
it would be to spend the day
with you, underwater,
in a really small space,
with no way out.
-I love it!
Phil, don't ruin this.
-Of course, I won't
because I'm the captain of
the inaugural Diver Downer Crew!
Or DDC for short,
and you're in for a deep dive!
A DDCDD!
With no leaks!
-Leaks? That thing leaks?
-Who said leaks? Not me.
Now, climb aboard DDC!
[struggling, grunts]
Now, help me climb aboard DDC!
GRUG:
So, it's a no-meat meatball.
Huh. [sniffing, grimaces]
-[squishing]
-Huh.
I mean, how bad could it be?
Huh
[gagging]
Huh
[gagging]
[groaning, retching, gulps]
Nope! Can't do it.
And I eat dirt. Huh?
[bouncing, squishing]
Huh!
Can you handle the heat?
'Cause this is one
spicy beetball!
-Bring it!
[sighs]
-You okay, T-bone?
-Yeah. Just wondering
what window's up to.
This is the longest
we've been apart since we met.
-We justleft the living room.
[gasps]
[smash]
-Window! [screaming]
-Wasn't me! [panting]
-[groans]
There's nothing to see here
but infinite darkness!
Lagoon let down.
-What are you talking about?
There's tons to see!
Wait. Did you forget to take
the cap off that thing?
-Hm
-[pop]
-[sighs]
-[clears throat, sighs]
-Magnificent.
-[gurgling]
So much to see. Just as I said.
-Yeah. Amazing.
Well, time to head back
to the surface!
-No! This is a big lagoon,
and I wanna see all of it!
Withoutgetting wet.
-[gasps]
-Uh, but
Uh, maybe Dawn's right?
What if this thing
springs a leak or something?
We should probably quit
while we're ahead.
-Nonsense.
The Diver Downer is leak-proof.
Unless you saw a leak.
Did you? Where?
Where's the leak?
-[angry growl]
-[nervous laugh]
Not that there couldbe a leak
because that's impossible.
But if you see a leak,
tell me immediately.
-Guess it's gonna take more
than a fake leak
-to get us out of the lagoon.
-[sonar beeps]
Like a real leak
-Dawn, relax.
I haven't seen a single beetball
down here.
Also, did you bring that hammer?
-Yeah, I did.
You're right. No beetballs.
[laughs]
I almost sunk us for no reason.
-Right! So,
I'll just hold on to this
-[bubbling]
-[sonar beeping]
[dramatic music]
-GUY: Hm.
-You can barely see it.
-Sure!
If you're not looking at it.
-Whoa. You're right.
I can't see the hole anymore!
-The tree house is
Phil's pride and joy!
He's gonna notice! For sure!
-I'm just glad window is okay.
Hey, let's turn that hole
into another window!
-Or, and I'm just
spit-balling here,
we move out of the tree house
before Phil sees this.
-What if Phil never sees it?
-We're not stealing
Phil's eyeballs.
-[sighs] Ah! Hm.
-That's your plan?
Stand there
for the rest of your life?
-Huh. Good point. Thunk,
bring me a chair so I can sit
here for the rest of my life.
[groans]
[impressed gasps]
DAWN: It's like another world
we were never meant to see!
Let alone visit and disturb with
our walking, air-breathing ways.
-See? Nothing to worry about.
-Who was worried?
-Whoa! What is that?
It looks like a bumpy,
round fish,
but without fins, or eyes,
or a mouth, or being alive.
[Dawn gasps, groans]
-Uh, I don't see anything!
But, maybe we'll have better
luck on the other side.
Over there!
-Away from this side.
-Hm
You're right. This is
much better. [gasps]
-There's three of them now!
-[Dawn gasps]
-Phil, can you get closer?
-EEP: Uh
-Of course. Turning wet left!
Which is the same as dry right!
Not sure why!
[gasps]
-Gah! My stomach!
It feels like there's
lava in there.
But not the good
kind of lava.
-Oh, no!
Bad lava?
-That's the worst kind of lava!
-[groaning]
-It's okay, Eep.
You're probably
just a little claustrophobic.
Head between your knees.
-We better get back to land
so Eep can get some fresh air!
-Good idea, Dawn.
-Phil? Be useful.
-[grunting] Just a moment.
A school of those rotund fish
are approaching!
They're exhibiting
complex social behavior.
-I must do a deep dive
deep dive on them.
-A quadruple D!
-[grunting]
[all yelling]
Dawn! Why are you turning us
wet left, dry right?!
Those odd bulbous fish
may unlock
the secrets of the deep for us!
-Maybe some secrets
should stay locked! [struggling]
[yelling, grunting]
-[straining]
-Dawn! Have you been poisoned?
Thisisn't
one of your roller logs!
-It's a sophisticated piece
of scientific technology.
We have to be incredibly
careful with it.
-Like so.
-[creaking]
-[loud crash]
-[screaming]
-Good thing you were careful,
Phil.
-Did we hit something?
-Yes.
It's most likely flotsam.
Or jetsam.
Or a combination of flotsam
and jetsam
[all scream]
[groans, gasps]
-[deep, loud growl]
-[gasps]
-Or whatever thatis!
[whimpering]
[gasps]
[deep shriek]
[gasps]
-Is that a
-A squiddel?
A half squirrel,
half squid sea monster?
-I'm afraid so.
-[clanging]
-It looks
-Unimaginably dangerous.
-I thought so, too.
-Phil, can you
-Stop finishing everyone's
sentences? Doubtful.
-What do we do? What do we do?!
-We remain calm.
[deep growling]
-[all gasp]
-That's one option.
The other option is
we freak out!
[all scream]
[growling]
[panting]
-Hope! What are you doing?
-I'm freaking out like I said!
[grunts] Keep up, Phil!
[growling]
-I think freaking out
is working, Mom!
Keep pulling
and flipping things!
[grunts]
[disco music]
-Hm
-Uh
[muffled disco]
-So that ball.
Tell us the story.
-There's no time
to explain now! [grunts]
[whirring, straining]
[shrieks]
[whirring]
-We're free!
We escaped the squiddel!
-How can something so terrifying
have such a dumb name?!
-Look! Can't a man dance
in the glow of sparkly lights
from time to time
without judgment?!
Oh. The name. Squiddel.
Some names are better
than others.
Phil Betterman, for example.
-Well, bad name or not,
the good news is we lost it.
-Not quite. It's chasing us.
-Then we'll have to outrun it.
Full speed ahead, DDC!
-Uh [grunts]
[bubbling]
[all screaming]
[screaming continues]
[whirring]
[confused growl]
[screaming continues]
-Dad,
that thing is gaining on us!
-Maybe we can hide in there?
[gasping]
-Good eye, Eep!
Take a right, Phil!
-You mean dry right,
which is actually
wet left for us!
-[grunts, screams]
-[straining]
[all yell]
[yelling continues]
[grunting]
-[panting] Whew!
I think we really lost it
this time.
-Are you okay, my beloved?
-You're so sweet, Phil.
Yes, I'm oWait.
You're talking to
this death bubble, aren't you?!
-It has a name!
The Diver Downer!
-Is there something
we can do besides argue?
-We could bust out
Phil's sparkle ball again.
-No! It's for
special occasions only!
More importantly, we need
to check the hull for cracks!
-The what now?
-The outside part! [groans]
-Outside? Where it's wet?
Hard pass.
-Yeah, Dad. We're underwater!
How would we breathe?
-You'll see.
[foreboding, echoing laugh]
-I'll get the helmets.
-ALL: Helmets?!
-I got the helmet. Ha!
Perfect!
You can't even see the hole!
-Yeah. Because it's behind
a pile of garbage.
-You know, I-I think
I'd rather see a hole.
-Heh. But you can'tsee a hole!
That's the beauty of this plan!
-Hate to be that guy,
and, obviously, this is my read
on the situation,
but is that pile of junk
actually calling moreattention
to the hole in the wall?
-Guy's right.
This isn't working.
-Hang on. I've got an idea.
-[Ugga sighs]
-And perfect!
-What hole?
-Uh
-I have a better idea, guys.
We beetballed
our way into this mess.
We can beetball
our way out of it.
-Sure. It's too late
to turn back now.
-You see? With the
Betterman Breathe Bubbles,
we can breathe easy
outside the Diver Downer!
-Nothing to worry about!
-Who was worried?
-[panting]
-What part of "not wet"
is unclear, Phil?
-Get that thing away from me!
-[gasps]
-But, you'rechasing me!
-[screams]
-Well, now that I'm wet,
it's not so bad.
-So, if you had these
breathy bubble thingies,
why did you build
the Diver Downer?
-What? [scoffs] That's not
I mean Look, the point is
we're breathing.
[dramatic sting]
-Dawn! Breathe!
-[gasping]
-Oh, right.
Still getting used to that part.
-Now, let's check for damage,
so we can get out of this cave.
-Is it me
or is this cave almost elegant?
Like something lives here.
-Uh, maybe it's because
something doeslive here.
And I think I know
what that something is.
-A big, cuddly underwater bunny?
[sighs]
I know it's the monster.
I was just trying to be
optimistic.
-Which means it will be back.
-We don't have much time.
-[all panting]
Looks good
on the wet right side!
Just need to check
the dry left side!
Gah! Those are the same!
I keep doing that!
DAWN: So we're doomed!
But at least my mom
never found out
I've been throwing beetballs
in the lagoon!
-Yep. You're in the clear.
Unless she looks at the nest.
And you don't have to yell.
-I can hear you just fine.
-[gasps] The nest!
It's made of Mom's beetballs!
-Wow. This is bad.
Also, you're still yelling.
-Ugh. Second thought,
this cave is a little too cavey.
I mean, there's nowhere to sit,
the walls are bare,
and what's that nest
even made of? It's hideous.
-Who cares
what the nest is made of?
Why don't we go help Dad?
-[gasps]
Are those my beetballs?! How?!
-I'm sure there's
a reasonable explanation.
-That doesn't involve Dawn.
-Yeah!
And it's definitely not
that I've been pretending
to like your beetballs,
but I don't, so I've been
hiding them in the lagoon!
Oh, am I kidding?
Mom,
I have something to tell you!
-You already did, Dawn.
And seriously,
you can stop yelling.
-You don't love my beetballs?
-Mm No.
They taste like spicy mud
in foot sauce.
I'm sorry. Are you mad?
-No, I'm not mad.
-Phew! Close one.
-But you didlie to me.
I thought I taught you
the value of honesty.
So, no,
I'm not mad.
I'm just disappointed.
-But that's so much worse
than mad!
-Yep. Doesn't get more brutal
than disappointed.
-Tough break, Dawn.
-PHIL: Good news!
The Diver Downer
is free from damage,
which means we can[gasps]
Wait! Hope!
Is this the ladder I gave you
for our mooniversary?
-[nervous laugh] What? No!
That must be something else?
-Really? Because it looks
exactly like
the ladder I crafted
with rungs painstakingly spaced
to accommodate someone
with legs of two different
lengths. Such as you.
-[sighs] Fine. I didn't like it,
and I didn't wanna hurt
your feelings,
so I dumped it into the lagoon
and lied about it.
But that's nothinglike
what Dawn did with mybeetballs!
-Except it's exactly
like what Dawn did
with your beetballs.
-Gotta say, Mom. I'm not mad.
I'm just disappointed.
-[gasps] Oh, no you don't.
That's a mom thing!
I'mdisappointed in you!
-Well, I'mdisappointed
in bothof you.
The Bettermans
are better than this!
I hope the intense
shame you feel
-now inspires you to grow! And
-[Dawn gasps]
-Dad! Phillimina?!
-[nervous laugh] Phillimina!
That's where she went!
Thank goodness you found her.
Philliam will be overjoyed.
-I made this for you!
-Fine! I threw Phillimina
in the lagoon.
But I had a good reason.
Philliam! Be nice!
The relationship was toxic!
What was I to do?
-Look,
I know you're upset right now,
but this is a teachable moment
for all of you.
Lies only make things worse,
and
DAWN: Eep?
Is this the blanket we gave you
when you first got to the farm?
-So, I think we've alllearned
a lesson here, right?
-Honesty from now on.
-No matter how painful it is.
-Or whose feelings
get pulverized.
-Uh, we don't have to go
that far.
[distant roar]
But we do have to go
'cause the squiddel
just got home!
-Ah! We're cave-cornered!
Curse you, briny depths!
Our soggy fates are sealed!
-No, they're not!
-We beetballed
our way into this mess.
We can beetball
our way out of it!
[sighs]
-We're going to use my beetballs
as weapons, aren't we?
PHIL:
Top notch, Diver Downer Crew,
aka DDC. We did it!
We repurposed
our discarded gifts
into the Betterman
Beetball Blaster!
More importantly,
we came together as a team.
[Hope groans]
-I just thought
you liked yellow.
-Sure, but not thatyellow.
-My legs are the same length!
-You see?
Like fingers on a hand.
A hand that now becomes a fist!
Launcher?
-Ready
-Beetballs?
-No thank you.
-Dawn!
-Sorry.
Just practicing my honesty.
Beetballs are loaded!
[squiddel roars]
-Good!
Because we've got company.
Chilling, fascinating company
with a cruel heart,
-lifeless eyes, and a bad name!
-[growling]
-On my command. Steady.
-Mm
-Steady
And
-launch!
-[grunts]
[disco music]
-Seriously?!
-I will not be judged!
[muffled disco]
-[growls]
-[grunting]
[bubbling]
[roaring, chewing]
-It ate the beetballs.
-It ate the beetballs!
Ha! The squiddel loves them!
I'm right! You're wrong!
-Beetballs rule!
-Uh, Hope?
-[squiddel groaning]
-Eh
[growling]
-[retching]
-Oh, come on!
PHIL:
On the bright side,
-you saved us.
-Don't handle me, Phil!
UGGA: Well, I'm just glad
all of you are okay.
And sorry that even
a bottom-feeding monster
didn't like your beetballs,
Hope.
-It's fine. The truth is
I never liked them either.
I was only making them for Dawn.
-And we all agreed down there
that from here on out,
we'll all be honest
with each other!
-Yes.
And that goes for everyone.
-[nervous groans]
-Uh, starting when?
-Yeah. Like, tomorrow?
-Or the day after tomorrow?
-No. Starting now.
Why are you guys acting weird?
Wait. Are you hiding
something from us?
-Absolutely not!
-How could you even think that,
Eep?
-[growls, sniffing]
-Hey, Douglas.
Sniffing there
for no reason at all?
-[barks]
-[laughs] Classic Douglas.
-[slurping, gulp]
-[all gasping]
-Did you patch a hole
in the wall with my beetballs?!
-GRUG/GUY/UGGA: No.
-Wait,
so we're notdoing
the honesty thing?
-[whining, grunts]
-Oh no!
Beetball betrayal!
[echoing]:
Douglas!