Will and Grace s07e06 Episode Script
The Newlydreads
Oy, The gym is so far It's such a shlep You go, goyim I figured since you're practically a gay man I should become a little Jewish Remember that gym we used to go to right around the corner? Ugh, it was so convenient The stupid State had to close it.
just because a few people got held up in the steam room Couple of nude muggings, and the whole town is suddenly full of crybabies You know what? Forget it Instead of throwing myself into exercise, I'm going to throw myself into my work You do realize that when you're taking a spin class you don't pedal and you're really just listening to music I also was scratching my patch of eczema That had to have burn some calories I need an outlet for my frustration I just keep getting angry at everything Angry at Leo, angry at the gym - angry at you - Me? Turkey bacon is not bacon I could kill you, Will! You know it tastes more like bacon after you cook it, right? You know what? I just gotta focus on the good stuff Got my health.
Got my friends Meeting a new client today If I could just get a decent piece of bacon, I could turn this douche of a day around Oh, I know where I have one Àª & ±×·¹À̽º ÀÚ¸·Á¦ÀÛ - ³×ÀÌÆ® µå ó¸ 24 ÀÚ¸·ÆÀ Will & Grace ÀÚ¸·ÆÀ Á °ÇºÎ ¹èÆ÷ / ¼öÁ¤±ÝÁö ¹èÆ÷½Ã ÀÚ¸· Ãâó¸¦ ²À ¹àÇôÁÖ¼¼¿ä It's good to be back Adler and Walker, Walker and Adler Honey, don't say your name next to mine It makes mine sound Jewy Well, yours makes mine sound drunk Well, Right the nuts I'm just so excited to be back at work again You know? Getting my mind off Leo Especially with this client She's a chic, young, single woman She reminds me of myself OOh! I better check her credit - Hey, Grace.
Great to see you - Hey, Katherine.
.
- I was just telling my assistant-- - Hey, baby Oh, this is my husband, Dan Oh, my God.
"Husband.
" It still sounds so funny to say Oh, I-I thought you were single Uh-oh No, we're newlyweds SingleHow depressing would that be at my age? Check, please We, uh, we just got back from our honeymoon - Didn't we, Mrs.
Fallon? - Yes we did, Mr.
Fallon Come on in Honey, honey.
Here Take one of these I don't know what they are, but a licensed vet gave 'em to me Please, Karen Just because my marriage stunk like a bag of dead turtles doesn't mean that I can't handle a couple of happy newlyweds Are you sure? 'Cause they're making me a little queasy But, then again, I'm all hopped up on dog pills I'll be fine Anyway, you guys, what I was thinking was-- Stop the kissing! Yeah.
Anyway, um, you know now that I know that you're a married couple, I might have to tweak the plans just a little bit Well, I don't know anything about design but I do know that we want this house to be about love Love.
.
uh No problem I know all about love I love love Gimme one of the dog pills Better take two One just makes you stop biting yourself What do you mean you've never been in here? You're a gay man This is a gay landmark Excuse me.
The hospital where Judy Garland spewed out Liza Minnelli is a gay landmark This is just a bookstore Wait a minute I think I have been here before Years ago Why yes, I have very fondle memories of this place - You mean fond - Both, actually William? I may buy a book If you're going to buy a book, you better do it soon Why? Are you gonna die? No.
The bookstore is going out of business The rents are out of control We'll be closed by the end of the month That's terrible! I remember shopping here when I first came out Made me feel so proud to buy a gay book and have you slip it into one of your non-descript brown paper bags then put on my sunglasses and rush out of here praying to God no one would see me I know.
I've been here so many decades, I've gone from calling Johnny here my roommate to my lover, to my partner, to my late husband Oh.
That's so sweet The history of one relationship reflects the history of our struggle Will.
I think that's the guy who fondled me I never thought I'd see the day when I'd be closing Well, if you'll excuse me, I must go in the back and watch my stories If I miss "The Bold and the Beautiful," I become a raging bitch Tsk.
I hate that this place is closing You know what, Jack? We-- we gotta do something Oh, I don't know Do something? That sounds complicated Jack, this--this is our history It's like the, the cradle of gay civilization where where gay man crawled from the straight ooze and, and for the first time, walked erect Continue We owe it to our community to to pay tribute to the literary giants who paved the way for us to live our lives openly - People like Oscar Wilde, James Baldwin-- - Oh, I love James Baldwin! It makes me sick that none of the other Baldwin brothers talk to him - But what can we do? - What can't we do? A prominent gay lawyer and a junior executive at a real gay network that only comes on after midnight when the Korean soap operas are over Ooh, we have a new slogan: "Watch us please.
" And before midnight, it's: "Watch us, shipshiyo.
" You know what? Why not? I will save a bookstore today Ooh, but while we're here, can we check out lesbian erotica? I'm still trying to figure out exactly what it is they do Yeah.
I imagine it's like bumper cars Honey, you sure you to do this job? You were a little weird yesterday That's because I was relating their happiness to my whole thing with Leo But you know what I realized? I'm happy they're happy If anything, it gives me hope that someday I'll be able to have exactly what they have Good news! The study's going to be a nursery - We're pregnant! - I'm outta here Um Is she coming back? We didn't even tell her what colors we wanted the nursery to be Well, honey, she's a professional I'm sure she's going to ask the baby before she does anything What colors do you see? Oh.
Well uh right now, everything's sort of purple and you two have kind an acid green aura Oh, you mean for the baby's room! Oh.
Are-- Are you asking me to--? Well, you do work for her, and she kind left us hanging Right.
Well Um I'm just spit-ballin' here, but how 'bout some clouds drifting across a blue sky? Oh, I like that What kind of blue? Well, you know, a soft blue, like a 10 milligram Valium blue And then We'll do the mouldings in yellow Oh, that sounds wonderful A bright yellow? No, more of a-- Well, here, um Lemme show you my swatches Big crowd, Will A sea of gay and lesbian lovers of literature Also known as a Who's Who of Uglyville Hi.
This is a great party Wait, are you one of the guys who organized this? Why, yes I am It's a cause very near and dear to my heart My lord, you're tall Would you mind coming into the back? I'd like to reach for something I can't believe it So many people talked about doing something, but you actually did it Whoa, Whoa, whoa I am not a hero, okay? "Hero" is reserved for firefighters and our men and women in uniform I didn't say you were a hero There's that word again You're welcome Yeah, this place means too much to too many people and there is no way we are gonna let it go without a fight Thank God.
Because to see an upscale gym in this place would just break my heart Exactly.
I mean the whole-- I'm sorry.
What was that? A gymnasium They wanna take over the whole building One of those exercise chains that perpetuate the myth of the narcissistic gay man How awful All those floor-length mirrors and tanning beds just around the corner from my apartment I don't suppose those corporate devils-- Is it Crunch? Uh, m-mentioned when this would be open by? Probably in time for those filthy yuppies to work off their holiday feasts and tone up their bodies for their fancy vacations at Lake George I almost wish that they would take this place over and then I could join, and not wipe off the equipment - But then I'd lose my store - Calm down, I remember Hello, everyone, and welcome These reading glasses I've used as an affectation for years to appear smart have once again come to my rescue I never realized how important this bookstore was to the community until my.
.
very wise friend Will Truman said to me he said, "This bookstore is important to the community" So without further ado I give you Will Truman Thanks again for saving my bookshop from becoming an Equinox gym Yeah, I heard you old man So, we're, uh We're here tonight to save a landmark of the community Where else can you buy gay literature? Well, besides online It's certainly faster, easier, and the wave of the future.
But For those who live in the past, we are here to preserve it This wonderful old bookstore Musty, pre-war Probably full of asbestos Gives you the lungs of a miner, makes you sterile, but hey, you got your book Heh-heh.
Besides, it's not like you're-- like you're put on some government list every time you shop here You are And we'll be right back! Uh, Linus, go ahead and tell 'em about when Truman Capote bitch-slapped Tennessee Williams here and then later coined the phrase "bitch-slap" All right It was a hot August night - Will, what is going on? - They want to put a gym here - A beautiful new gym! - Britney Spears Federline, a gym! That is fantastic Wait a minute What about the bookstore? Oh, who cares? So--so they sell a few less copies of some crappy coming out story "I'm so confused.
I don't understand my feelings.
" Do a one-man show like everybody else! Will Truman, I cannot be what I'm hearing You are the most shallow, self-serving hypocrite I've ever met Get out Oh, this is good for that, too Get out! I hate having to tell that I can't do a job It's so unprofessional I hope they don't ask for their deposit back 'cause that money's gone Honey, don't you fret about that deposit 'Cause I've got a surprise for you Oh, my God.
Who did this? I did.
You like? I love But You? I Wow I mean, for you to do all this, you must've missed some pretty important black-outs It's okay, honey.
I'll make 'em up I'll pull an all-nighter This is amazing - Karen, you did a really great job - I did, didn't I? Honey, you were in a jam, so I-I worked hard put my nose to the mirror-- And finished something Wow! This is so beautiful It's exactly what we wanted Yeah, this is great.
We were a little nervous after our first meeting You kept calling the loveseat the "you're-gonna-die-alone-seat," but.
.
Anyway, it's perfect How did you pull it all together? Oh, I am beyond thrilled that you're happy But, I have to be honest with you I wasn't sure I could do this job Uh, but then, something came to my rescue A friend of mine A little friend I call Inspiration Now, of course, of course, I'm only part of a team So none of this could've ever been done without one other crucial component Clients like you - You know, I can't wait to see the bedroom - Me either Let's go Come on, Karen Oh.
Look One of my swatches - How did we do, Linus? - We didn't make it We fell $2,000 short Well 2,500 My check's gonna bounce - Sorry, I feel like I let ya down - Well, you kinda did All gone Just like that Well Look at the bright side You've been breathin' in asbestos for 50 years so I'm guessin' you won't be sad for too much longer You open? I'm looking for a book about a gay guy that feels really bad about himself That whole wall over there Well.
Look who it is The worst thing to happen to gay culture since straight guys started dressing gay I know.
I screwed up - We can't afford to lose this place - Well, I can't afford to keep it open Well, not that you care, but we're 2,500 short Maybe I can fix that Ugh.
Will, that is so inappropriate I can't believe you're asking him to cash a check I'm writing a check to make up the rest, you dingus Oh, my gosh, Will This is the second time I've been touched in this bookstore I guess we've proved that a couple of guys can make a real difference in this city Thanks to us, people will still be able to see the spot where Gertrude Stein punched Alice B Toklas in the stomach and shouted, "Don't you come home 'til you've shaved!" - Well, at least for another month - What do you mean? This just covers November's rent I assume we'll be doing of these every month Next month, maybe we could put on festive holiday ball Oh.
Every month So we get to do this again Wow.
Well, that sounds like fun Yeah, sure.
We'll start working on that, you know It's not like you can just adopt a cause and then abandon it We're abandoning it We won't let you down We'll letting him down You can count on us, Linus Can't wait for the gym to open! So close, sweetie.
So close Where did you go? I turned around and you were gone I ended up having to take the subway Oh, did you invent that, too? What are you talking about? You took credit for my work, Grace! You were about to lose that job, and I covered for you, and you put your name on it That's how it works, Karen It's called Grace Adler Designs I'm the face of the company It's like--It's like with Colonel Sanders If you ran into him on the street, and you told him you liked his chicken he wouldn't say, "Oh, well, I didn't make it.
Ramone did.
" He'd say, "Thanks.
I'm Colonel Sanders.
Do you know that we're doing salads now?" That analogy makes no sense at all Because in this story, it was my original recipe You're Ramone! - You're Ramone - You're Ramone Okay, look, this is ridiculous We're not gonna get anywhere calling each other names all day, Ramone I'm sorry you're upset But it's business I didn't do it for business I did it as a friend And you know what a friend does when another friend saves their ass? They acknowledge it Okay Thank you It's too late You know, for nine years, I have religiously shown up occasionally at this office and I have never once cashed a paycheck And you know why? Because you're my friend Or at least, I thought you were All right I'm sorry.
Are we okay? No.
We're not I quit - Are y-- Are you serious? - Yes.
I am serious, Grace I'll pack my things and leaving ÀÚ¸·Á¦ÀÛ - ³×ÀÌÆ® µå ó¸ 24 ÀÚ¸·ÆÀ Will & Grace ÀÚ¸·ÆÀ Á °ÇºÎ¹èÆ÷ / ¼öÁ¤±ÝÁö ¹èÆ÷½Ã ÀÚ¸· Ãâó¸¦ ²À ¹àÇôÁÖ¼¼¿ä
just because a few people got held up in the steam room Couple of nude muggings, and the whole town is suddenly full of crybabies You know what? Forget it Instead of throwing myself into exercise, I'm going to throw myself into my work You do realize that when you're taking a spin class you don't pedal and you're really just listening to music I also was scratching my patch of eczema That had to have burn some calories I need an outlet for my frustration I just keep getting angry at everything Angry at Leo, angry at the gym - angry at you - Me? Turkey bacon is not bacon I could kill you, Will! You know it tastes more like bacon after you cook it, right? You know what? I just gotta focus on the good stuff Got my health.
Got my friends Meeting a new client today If I could just get a decent piece of bacon, I could turn this douche of a day around Oh, I know where I have one Àª & ±×·¹À̽º ÀÚ¸·Á¦ÀÛ - ³×ÀÌÆ® µå ó¸ 24 ÀÚ¸·ÆÀ Will & Grace ÀÚ¸·ÆÀ Á °ÇºÎ ¹èÆ÷ / ¼öÁ¤±ÝÁö ¹èÆ÷½Ã ÀÚ¸· Ãâó¸¦ ²À ¹àÇôÁÖ¼¼¿ä It's good to be back Adler and Walker, Walker and Adler Honey, don't say your name next to mine It makes mine sound Jewy Well, yours makes mine sound drunk Well, Right the nuts I'm just so excited to be back at work again You know? Getting my mind off Leo Especially with this client She's a chic, young, single woman She reminds me of myself OOh! I better check her credit - Hey, Grace.
Great to see you - Hey, Katherine.
.
- I was just telling my assistant-- - Hey, baby Oh, this is my husband, Dan Oh, my God.
"Husband.
" It still sounds so funny to say Oh, I-I thought you were single Uh-oh No, we're newlyweds SingleHow depressing would that be at my age? Check, please We, uh, we just got back from our honeymoon - Didn't we, Mrs.
Fallon? - Yes we did, Mr.
Fallon Come on in Honey, honey.
Here Take one of these I don't know what they are, but a licensed vet gave 'em to me Please, Karen Just because my marriage stunk like a bag of dead turtles doesn't mean that I can't handle a couple of happy newlyweds Are you sure? 'Cause they're making me a little queasy But, then again, I'm all hopped up on dog pills I'll be fine Anyway, you guys, what I was thinking was-- Stop the kissing! Yeah.
Anyway, um, you know now that I know that you're a married couple, I might have to tweak the plans just a little bit Well, I don't know anything about design but I do know that we want this house to be about love Love.
.
uh No problem I know all about love I love love Gimme one of the dog pills Better take two One just makes you stop biting yourself What do you mean you've never been in here? You're a gay man This is a gay landmark Excuse me.
The hospital where Judy Garland spewed out Liza Minnelli is a gay landmark This is just a bookstore Wait a minute I think I have been here before Years ago Why yes, I have very fondle memories of this place - You mean fond - Both, actually William? I may buy a book If you're going to buy a book, you better do it soon Why? Are you gonna die? No.
The bookstore is going out of business The rents are out of control We'll be closed by the end of the month That's terrible! I remember shopping here when I first came out Made me feel so proud to buy a gay book and have you slip it into one of your non-descript brown paper bags then put on my sunglasses and rush out of here praying to God no one would see me I know.
I've been here so many decades, I've gone from calling Johnny here my roommate to my lover, to my partner, to my late husband Oh.
That's so sweet The history of one relationship reflects the history of our struggle Will.
I think that's the guy who fondled me I never thought I'd see the day when I'd be closing Well, if you'll excuse me, I must go in the back and watch my stories If I miss "The Bold and the Beautiful," I become a raging bitch Tsk.
I hate that this place is closing You know what, Jack? We-- we gotta do something Oh, I don't know Do something? That sounds complicated Jack, this--this is our history It's like the, the cradle of gay civilization where where gay man crawled from the straight ooze and, and for the first time, walked erect Continue We owe it to our community to to pay tribute to the literary giants who paved the way for us to live our lives openly - People like Oscar Wilde, James Baldwin-- - Oh, I love James Baldwin! It makes me sick that none of the other Baldwin brothers talk to him - But what can we do? - What can't we do? A prominent gay lawyer and a junior executive at a real gay network that only comes on after midnight when the Korean soap operas are over Ooh, we have a new slogan: "Watch us please.
" And before midnight, it's: "Watch us, shipshiyo.
" You know what? Why not? I will save a bookstore today Ooh, but while we're here, can we check out lesbian erotica? I'm still trying to figure out exactly what it is they do Yeah.
I imagine it's like bumper cars Honey, you sure you to do this job? You were a little weird yesterday That's because I was relating their happiness to my whole thing with Leo But you know what I realized? I'm happy they're happy If anything, it gives me hope that someday I'll be able to have exactly what they have Good news! The study's going to be a nursery - We're pregnant! - I'm outta here Um Is she coming back? We didn't even tell her what colors we wanted the nursery to be Well, honey, she's a professional I'm sure she's going to ask the baby before she does anything What colors do you see? Oh.
Well uh right now, everything's sort of purple and you two have kind an acid green aura Oh, you mean for the baby's room! Oh.
Are-- Are you asking me to--? Well, you do work for her, and she kind left us hanging Right.
Well Um I'm just spit-ballin' here, but how 'bout some clouds drifting across a blue sky? Oh, I like that What kind of blue? Well, you know, a soft blue, like a 10 milligram Valium blue And then We'll do the mouldings in yellow Oh, that sounds wonderful A bright yellow? No, more of a-- Well, here, um Lemme show you my swatches Big crowd, Will A sea of gay and lesbian lovers of literature Also known as a Who's Who of Uglyville Hi.
This is a great party Wait, are you one of the guys who organized this? Why, yes I am It's a cause very near and dear to my heart My lord, you're tall Would you mind coming into the back? I'd like to reach for something I can't believe it So many people talked about doing something, but you actually did it Whoa, Whoa, whoa I am not a hero, okay? "Hero" is reserved for firefighters and our men and women in uniform I didn't say you were a hero There's that word again You're welcome Yeah, this place means too much to too many people and there is no way we are gonna let it go without a fight Thank God.
Because to see an upscale gym in this place would just break my heart Exactly.
I mean the whole-- I'm sorry.
What was that? A gymnasium They wanna take over the whole building One of those exercise chains that perpetuate the myth of the narcissistic gay man How awful All those floor-length mirrors and tanning beds just around the corner from my apartment I don't suppose those corporate devils-- Is it Crunch? Uh, m-mentioned when this would be open by? Probably in time for those filthy yuppies to work off their holiday feasts and tone up their bodies for their fancy vacations at Lake George I almost wish that they would take this place over and then I could join, and not wipe off the equipment - But then I'd lose my store - Calm down, I remember Hello, everyone, and welcome These reading glasses I've used as an affectation for years to appear smart have once again come to my rescue I never realized how important this bookstore was to the community until my.
.
very wise friend Will Truman said to me he said, "This bookstore is important to the community" So without further ado I give you Will Truman Thanks again for saving my bookshop from becoming an Equinox gym Yeah, I heard you old man So, we're, uh We're here tonight to save a landmark of the community Where else can you buy gay literature? Well, besides online It's certainly faster, easier, and the wave of the future.
But For those who live in the past, we are here to preserve it This wonderful old bookstore Musty, pre-war Probably full of asbestos Gives you the lungs of a miner, makes you sterile, but hey, you got your book Heh-heh.
Besides, it's not like you're-- like you're put on some government list every time you shop here You are And we'll be right back! Uh, Linus, go ahead and tell 'em about when Truman Capote bitch-slapped Tennessee Williams here and then later coined the phrase "bitch-slap" All right It was a hot August night - Will, what is going on? - They want to put a gym here - A beautiful new gym! - Britney Spears Federline, a gym! That is fantastic Wait a minute What about the bookstore? Oh, who cares? So--so they sell a few less copies of some crappy coming out story "I'm so confused.
I don't understand my feelings.
" Do a one-man show like everybody else! Will Truman, I cannot be what I'm hearing You are the most shallow, self-serving hypocrite I've ever met Get out Oh, this is good for that, too Get out! I hate having to tell that I can't do a job It's so unprofessional I hope they don't ask for their deposit back 'cause that money's gone Honey, don't you fret about that deposit 'Cause I've got a surprise for you Oh, my God.
Who did this? I did.
You like? I love But You? I Wow I mean, for you to do all this, you must've missed some pretty important black-outs It's okay, honey.
I'll make 'em up I'll pull an all-nighter This is amazing - Karen, you did a really great job - I did, didn't I? Honey, you were in a jam, so I-I worked hard put my nose to the mirror-- And finished something Wow! This is so beautiful It's exactly what we wanted Yeah, this is great.
We were a little nervous after our first meeting You kept calling the loveseat the "you're-gonna-die-alone-seat," but.
.
Anyway, it's perfect How did you pull it all together? Oh, I am beyond thrilled that you're happy But, I have to be honest with you I wasn't sure I could do this job Uh, but then, something came to my rescue A friend of mine A little friend I call Inspiration Now, of course, of course, I'm only part of a team So none of this could've ever been done without one other crucial component Clients like you - You know, I can't wait to see the bedroom - Me either Let's go Come on, Karen Oh.
Look One of my swatches - How did we do, Linus? - We didn't make it We fell $2,000 short Well 2,500 My check's gonna bounce - Sorry, I feel like I let ya down - Well, you kinda did All gone Just like that Well Look at the bright side You've been breathin' in asbestos for 50 years so I'm guessin' you won't be sad for too much longer You open? I'm looking for a book about a gay guy that feels really bad about himself That whole wall over there Well.
Look who it is The worst thing to happen to gay culture since straight guys started dressing gay I know.
I screwed up - We can't afford to lose this place - Well, I can't afford to keep it open Well, not that you care, but we're 2,500 short Maybe I can fix that Ugh.
Will, that is so inappropriate I can't believe you're asking him to cash a check I'm writing a check to make up the rest, you dingus Oh, my gosh, Will This is the second time I've been touched in this bookstore I guess we've proved that a couple of guys can make a real difference in this city Thanks to us, people will still be able to see the spot where Gertrude Stein punched Alice B Toklas in the stomach and shouted, "Don't you come home 'til you've shaved!" - Well, at least for another month - What do you mean? This just covers November's rent I assume we'll be doing of these every month Next month, maybe we could put on festive holiday ball Oh.
Every month So we get to do this again Wow.
Well, that sounds like fun Yeah, sure.
We'll start working on that, you know It's not like you can just adopt a cause and then abandon it We're abandoning it We won't let you down We'll letting him down You can count on us, Linus Can't wait for the gym to open! So close, sweetie.
So close Where did you go? I turned around and you were gone I ended up having to take the subway Oh, did you invent that, too? What are you talking about? You took credit for my work, Grace! You were about to lose that job, and I covered for you, and you put your name on it That's how it works, Karen It's called Grace Adler Designs I'm the face of the company It's like--It's like with Colonel Sanders If you ran into him on the street, and you told him you liked his chicken he wouldn't say, "Oh, well, I didn't make it.
Ramone did.
" He'd say, "Thanks.
I'm Colonel Sanders.
Do you know that we're doing salads now?" That analogy makes no sense at all Because in this story, it was my original recipe You're Ramone! - You're Ramone - You're Ramone Okay, look, this is ridiculous We're not gonna get anywhere calling each other names all day, Ramone I'm sorry you're upset But it's business I didn't do it for business I did it as a friend And you know what a friend does when another friend saves their ass? They acknowledge it Okay Thank you It's too late You know, for nine years, I have religiously shown up occasionally at this office and I have never once cashed a paycheck And you know why? Because you're my friend Or at least, I thought you were All right I'm sorry.
Are we okay? No.
We're not I quit - Are y-- Are you serious? - Yes.
I am serious, Grace I'll pack my things and leaving ÀÚ¸·Á¦ÀÛ - ³×ÀÌÆ® µå ó¸ 24 ÀÚ¸·ÆÀ Will & Grace ÀÚ¸·ÆÀ Á °ÇºÎ¹èÆ÷ / ¼öÁ¤±ÝÁö ¹èÆ÷½Ã ÀÚ¸· Ãâó¸¦ ²À ¹àÇôÁÖ¼¼¿ä