Rescue Me s07e07 Episode Script
Jeter
Previously: You wanna memorialize somebody? You do it by talking about their deeds.
Have to remember the firefighters on the morning of 9/11, they memorialized themselves by writing notes to their loved ones and leaving in the lockers.
I wrote some letters.
I kind of took what Feinberg was saying the other day to heart.
You want me to give these a proofread? Do not read them.
I won't.
I will not read them.
I had a white or a blue shirt on with stripes on my arm, I bet you I could do a better job at keeping some loose cannon prick in line! You know what, I would love to give you the keys to the kingdom for a couple days.
Chief? Five days.
Oh ho ho! Quiet.
You're acting lieutenant for five days, however all decisions must run through me.
You understand? Cool.
What the hell are you doing? That's mine! What is wrong with you? Oh, my God.
Oh my What are you doing here? I never let you read that letter because it is the truly only secret thing that Jimmy and I will ever have ever again.
Get out.
Got it.
Jesus Christ.
Can you believe this? Huh? I thought I was having a senior moment this morning when I came in here.
Thought I was walking into the wrong goddamn house.
How do you know you didn't? Well, that's Mike over there cleaning the Halligans.
Look at Garrity.
Franco's having him cleaning that door for the third time, his reward for coming in early.
Look at the floor.
Huh? You could eat right off of it.
Not that I'm encouraging you to eat.
You know, now that morale is at an all-time low, between Garrity and Franco this place is spic and span.
Yeah, I guess that would make Garrity span.
Hey, guys.
Heh.
Where are we? It's either the twilight zone or hell.
Firefighter Gavin, firefighter Shea, you are both late.
Hell.
Sorry, big man.
No smoking in the house.
It's not even lit.
Well, it's against the protocols of your new fitness regimen, cupcake, details are posted in your locker.
I expect a signed copy on my desk within the hour.
Oh, your desk.
This is the way Needles explained it.
He's on day two of a five-day term as the interim lieutenant.
It's only the tip of the iceberg, you know.
I don't think he's eaten, slept, or pissed in 72 hours.
Well, chief, I think it's a testament to what a man can do when he puts his mind to something.
Speaking of which, get dressed.
We got work to do.
That means you too, Fonzie.
Hey.
Ayyy.
No more kicking around the house, drinking coffee in your boots and your leather jacket, slick.
Station gear at all times.
Frankie.
I'm sorry.
Lieutenant, Think I'll rub paint off the door if I do more.
Can I do something else? Did you hit those spots I pointed out? Yeah, I got them.
All right, then carry on, Garrity, but tuck your shirt in first.
You serious? Do I look like I'm kidding? You look like you're about to squeeze a diamond outta your ass.
Garrity, I think just for that, you ought to hit that door one more time, asshole.
We've really We gotta put up with this? Don't look at me now.
This is Lou's brilliant idea.
Now I know how Mary Shelley felt.
Mm-hm.
Francostein.
Mm, very funny.
I guess now the only question is is Lou gonna stand by his word, or are you gonna bitch out and pull rank? How many calls you had? Been a few.
A few false alarms, a couple of medicals.
Rivera's been riding along.
Riding along.
Something funny? Yeah, good old ride-along Rivera.
No, no, this is all good, but you know what, we'll see what you're made of when we hit the streets, get into the shed.
Yeah.
Ride along.
And you owe me thirty-five cents for that cigar.
Pfft.
You better get used to it.
You're a boss now.
Yeah, all right.
Hey.
Oh, no, Tom.
What is this? Another love letter? I don't want it.
Listen.
I apologize for baiting you before with the first letter and the food and everything, but Listen, you were right, okay, what you said that day.
I went down to Ground Zero.
I thought about driving my truck into the hole, but then I thought about what you said, and you know what, I don't want to be number 344, you know? I'm over that shit, all of it.
The survivor's guilt.
You know, I'm living now in the here and now.
I got a whole new set of priorities.
So you know, this letter I poured, you know.
I poured a lot of my, you know, my innermost stuff.
That um, stuff, uh, are called feelings.
And you know what, Tom, I'm sorry I betrayed your trust and opened the first letter.
It's not very often one gets a glimpse inside the secret inner sensitive life of Tommy Gavin.
Well, this is it.
This is it.
This is the real one.
Yeah, and you know the deal.
I know the deal.
Okay.
All right? Done.
Away.
My word of honor.
We both know your word is worth shit.
Well, kind of like your feelings, so I figure we're both equal.
So there.
We're square.
We're square.
All right.
Gonna grab a coffee.
You gonna go get changed, like Ride-along Rivera said? No.
I never listen to you.
Why would I listen to that asshole? You want a coffee? No, I'm good.
All right.
See you later.
Yeah.
I'm not opening the letter.
Oh, jeez! * On another day C'mon, c'mon * * With these ropes I tied Can we do no wrong? * * Now we grieve 'Cause now is gone * * Things were good When we were young * * When my teeth bite down I can see the blood * * Of a thousand men Who have come and gone * * Now we grieve 'Cause now is gone * * Things were good When we were young * * Is it safe to say C'mon, c'mon * * Was it right to leave C'mon, c'mon * * Will I ever learn? C'mon, c'mon * * C'mon, c'mon C'mon, c'mon * Hey.
What's going on? Girls, uncle Teddy, love you.
I Mean it.
Mwah.
Bye, baby.
Goodbye.
Guess she's still pissed, huh? What are you guys doing? Finalizing the seating chart? I can't believe I'm gonna say this, ugh All the times I I wished that everybody in this house would just shut their yaps and give me some peace and some quiet.
Somebody please say something.
I want you to go to at least one meeting a day from now until the wedding.
Okay? And I want you to promise you will not visit Ground Zero again.
And when we tell you what the deal is with the wedding, you will not freak out.
Why am I gonna freak Ah, ah, ah, ah! I'm just asking a question We discussed this.
Yap, yap, no.
Zip.
This is my day, okay? The most important day in my life so far, so please no yelling, no drinking, okay? And no jokes about Shawn's family.
Why would I make a joke about Shawn's Dad! No finger-pointing, no fist punching and I forgot.
Uncle Teddy's walking me down the aisle now.
Heh.
What? Now, don't blow a gasket.
I'm not! I'm asking my daughter You're already blowing one! Hey, hey, hey! See, this is why I'm doing it instead of you.
She'll be walking down the aisle in her $10,000 dress and you But-but-but-but-but ah ah.
I thought it was eight grand, What's ten grand? What's The one I fell in love with was a little more expensive.
Let me get this straight.
Ten grand now? This the final price? There's no more.
This is it, right? Ten grand.
Ten grand and I can't drink.
Just shoot me in the head while we're at it, okay? See? He wants to drink! You're not in control of your sobriety.
What I really wanna do is punch you in the face right now.
Save that for the wedding.
Big, big finish.
Oh, funny.
Come on, girls.
Get the baby.
Let's go.
Janet, I really think we ought to think about going with plan B.
What's "plan B"? Oh, you'll find out.
Come on, girls.
Do you guys have enough diapers? You'll be needing the diapers with all the shit in here! Funny.
What's he talking about, "plan B"? Plan B is you don't go to the wedding.
Ugh, you gotta be kidding me, right? That I don't go to the wedding at all? Tommy, it is a celebration.
There will be alcohol everywhere.
Okay, honey, I have not had a drink in I don't know how long.
Yeah.
When is the last time you went to a meeting? I don't know.
Name the meeting.
Name the date.
I don't know.
Like five weeks ago or something like that.
No.
Three and a half.
Three and a half.
Even better.
Months.
Oh.
Really? Look, Tommy, the thing that you did with Sheila Okay, even though you didn't drink a drop, it is a sign.
That you are not ready for this.
You are not in a sane state of mind.
So Uncle Teddy is walking her down that aisle because the odds are, even with all the alcohol flowing freely, we can count on him to walk a straight line.
Now, did you talk to Mickey? Uh, No, I haven't No.
Of course not, because how could you talk to him when your head is so far up your own goddamn ass? Honey, my head is not my ass, okay? Okay, I want Mickey performing that ceremony, and I want you off that rig and into a safe job.
Yes, somewhere out of harm's way.
Honey, ugh No, Tommy, this is not a negotiation.
Okay, you wanna be a real father to this baby and not some sperm donor named "Dad," then you will get off that rig and into somewhere safe.
We've talked about this before.
We've tried it before, nine million discussions.
You know, I I but Ugh I don't have time for meetings.
No.
Get to a goddamn meeting every goddamn day and bring me proof! Okay, and do not, and I repeat, do not show up at that rehearsal dinner drunk.
I'm not Gonna I'll be there.
I'll be there, and I I will be sober as a judge.
Okay, good.
That will go a long way to showing Colleen that maybe you are capable of walking her down that aisle.
I'm capable.
I will be there.
Sober.
As a judge.
Done deal.
You got it.
So, serenity, patience.
Easy does it.
Keeping calm.
I wasn't always the laidback, easy-going guy you see before you here today.
There was a time when the easy-going, steady guy you see before you here put whiskey in his orange juice every morning.
There was a time Yeah, Tom.
Sorry.
I didn't mean to interrupt, ugh But a little bit of a rush.
I'm late for work and then And got all the wedding crap going on, as you know.
I really gotta get to the firehouse, blah, blah, blah.
Can I talk to you sorry, just one second, privately? Tom, I'm not going to the wedding.
I really need you to kind of go to the wedding, Mick.
I'm sorry, everybody.
This is my cousin Tommy.
Hey, Tommy.
Hey, everybody.
Hey.
He's also a raging, uh, sorry, he's also in recovery.
Yeah, well, I mean, pfft.
I wasn't as bad as him, but whatever.
Oh, is that right? Well, I wasn't.
I mean, pfft I didn't put whiskey in my orange juice.
I Listen, just tell me you're gonna come to the wedding, and this is all set.
I just really need you to come.
Go to hell.
Hey! Hey! Go to hell! Go to hell! Get out! And you can take that goddamn wedding and stick it where the sun don't shine.
She don't apologize to me.
She and I never set foot in the same room again as long as I live on this planet! You can tell her another thing.
I don't care how hot her ass is, I am never, ever sleeping with her again! All right, all right.
I get it, I get it.
If you, uh, could just sign this, it's a little note telling Janet I came to the meeting, and I was here All right.
I'm going.
Get him out.
Go! Sorry, everybody.
Didn't mean to Let me go.
Dear Lou, you have been more of a brother to me than even my own blood brother.
The bond between us goes deeper than the bond we felt as members of the firefighting brotherhood.
I trusted you with my life, and now, upon my passing, I trust you with the lives of my wife and my children, for you are a man much stronger than I ever was, a man so brave that I felt safe no matter what the circumstance might be each time you led us off that rig.
All the praise and all the glory I was given for my so-called heroics only existed because I knew no matter what that you were just a few steps away ready, willing, and able to pull me to safety.
I rest in peace now knowing that my family will forever be in your warm, protective embrace.
See you on the other side, my brother.
Love, Tommy.
Ah, you're such an asshole.
Hey, Gavin, where's your uni? Ugh, you know what, today's not the day to bust my balls, okay, Ride-along? Yeah, well, you know what, the shift started ten minutes ago.
You're late.
Yeah, well, I had a little family emergency, okay? What's new? Next time, leave it at home.
We got work to do around here, okay? You know, you're acting like a real douche bag.
Yeah? Well, it takes one to know one.
So after you're done with your milk-and-cookie break, Opie, I expect you to hop in uni.
Hey.
I swear to God.
He's called me Fonzie.
He's called me Opie.
He mentions Eddie Haskell to me, and I'm gonna rip his head off.
What's going on? All I want is PowerBars.
Everything's labeled.
What? Crackers, freaking bowls.
Aw, thanks, man.
And it's not just here.
At home they're busting my balls.
Katy, Colleen, Janet, because they're afraid I'm gonna blow up the wedding.
And Sheila won't even look me in the eyes because she's all pissed off about the, uh you know, the What's wrong? What's going on? What's with the look? Lou, I know all your looks.
This is not one of your looks.
This is This is a new look.
Somebody die? Knock it off.
Hey.
Guys, right here.
- Let's go, let's go! - All right.
We can go underneath.
Come on, guys.
We gotta get this guy out of here.
We gotta get underneath.
We need a chain and yank it the hell back.
No time.
The rig can't get an angle.
- Frankie, listen to me.
- Hey, what are you doing? Jesus Christ! Uh Shit! Damn it.
Franco, come on! - We need the chain.
- All right.
Get the chain right away.
Hook it up and back this bastard out of here.
You want to bark some orders now, hero? Shut up, Lou.
Nice move, bowels.
Aah, come on! Let's hurry up, guys! All right.
Pull, pull, pull.
All right, all right.
- Go ahead, Niels.
- Everybody, clear, clear.
Get out of the way.
All right.
Get him outta there, guys.
How's he looking? - He's all right.
- All right? He's fine.
Oh, boy.
You all right, Lou? Yeah, I'm fine.
Lou, look, I was just trying No, no, don't, don't, all right, Franco? You wanna play Superman to save face in front of these guys, you do it at your own expense.
Look, it was just my instinct, okay? A good lieutenant does not make a call like that without thinking, Franco, okay? That's why you don't wear the blue shirt.
That's why when we get back to the house, you're taking it off, or I'm gonna rip it off you and feed it to you.
Everybody back on the rig.
We're going home, and I'm riding shotgun.
Hi.
What? See, you're A-Rod, he's Jeter.
You go for the glory, he goes for the win.
Oh, yeah, like Tommy Gavin doesn't go for the glory every time he hops in the goddamn rig? Okay, what Tommy understands and you fail to realize, firefighter Rivera, is there ain't no glory, all right? Get your ass in the truck.
Yeah.
Get your ass in the truck.
What did I do? "What did I do?" Sheil.
Look at you, hot stuff.
Hey, honey, how are you? Mwah.
Good.
Dami.
What's What's happening? Nothing.
Um, Just have a seat.
Put your gorgeous little self down there.
I have a demonstration, ugh, for you.
Get this right.
Just sit and you watch and listen.
Now, this is a glass of vodka to you and I.
But to Tommy, this is what it is.
A great big shot of fire.
Even when it's not swirling around his incredibly screwed up system, even when it's stuck inside the glass, it's still a raging inferno for him.
So that night when he poured himself a drink that he actually never drank, it didn't matter.
Something inside of him, it snapped, made his mind begin toto rumble, started rummaging through your stuff looking for answers, information, evidence.
Now we both know that the mind of Tommy Gavin is a mind filled with very, very dark alleyways and terribly violent ideas and images and urges, but it's also the place where his best instincts reside, like saving people.
Stephan Dumont.
Tommy pulled him out of a burning car.
Nineteen eighty-seven.
Otherwise Charlene Hanlon.
Tommy carried her dead down ten flights of stairs, revives her on the sidewalk.
Today, she's a teacher.
Without Tommy This is a list of at least People who are still here on earth with us because of Tommy.
Mothers, fathers, sons, daughters, cops, coaches.
Damian.
Tommy pulled him out of a fire uptown before what happened happened.
And if he hadn't pulled him out, he would have been literally a bag of bones.
And you.
Now, you know, you may curse what he's done or not done since Jimmy died, but he saved you from yourself just by being there.
You know, Sheil, if I had a magic wand and I could wave it over his head and I could make him get out of this goddamn chair and go down to the corner with me and have a burger, you know that I would, but I can't.
But if Tommy hadn't have saved him, he would already be dead.
And without this kid, even in this state, I think I'd be talking to an empty room.
Now, look, our Our friend Tommy has been writing lately Letters Ugh, one to Janet, ahem, one to me, one to each of the kids, and to you.
Now, under no circumstances is anyone allowed to even open these, and it is only in the event of his death that we can actually read them.
This is yours.
I read mine already.
Couldn't help it.
It was staring at me, and I had to read it and I I had tears in my eyes when I did.
Ugh, It was the first time I think he's ever been honest about our friendship.
It made me realize how much I loved the guy and how much I owe him.
It just really put things in perspective.
I think maybe you should do the same.
You know, he's been calling me Derek Jeter lately, heh because he says I lead by example without being a showoff.
Well, I tell you one thing, if I'm If I'm Derek Jeter, then he's I mean, he's Mickey Mantle.
He's the great home run hitter.
He's the maniac that the golden bad boy who's gonna turn it around before it all ends.
Hey, why don't you leave that? I think I'm gonna need it.
Actually, it's lighter fluid.
Otherwise, I couldn't get the, uh, eternal flame effect that I wanted.
Tommy would drink it, but most humans Give him another shot, Sheil.
I mean, he's the Mick.
He deserves that.
My dearest Sheil.
If you are reading these words it means our time together is done.
And far too soon.
Our time on earth.
I cannot express what you meant to me, what our time together was worth.
Hey, that rhymes.
Sorry.
I just cannot begin to say the things I wish because I'm not good enough at that so allow me to choose a few small, but meaningful words.
Love.
Lips.
Heat.
Hope.
All these things you gave me.
You saved me from myself.
And wherever you go, whatever you do, know that I will be there, ever so gently, ever so true, brushing up against your brown skin saving you.
I don't have an ending for this.
Love, Tommy.
P.
S.
In case I forgot to tell you there's like 25 bottles of really, really expensive wine in three boxes in your bedroom closet behind some old suitcases, Heh.
I found them there when I was searching for Jimmy's letter.
I didn't touch any of them because they looked expensive plus I already had that bottle of vodka and red wine always made me gag a little when I sipped it.
So stupid.
But, I know you love wine and figured you forgot about them after you moved into that place.
Okay.
Love you forever, bye.
This is a glass of vodka.
I see that.
To you and I.
But once it enters Tommy Gavin's brain, it becomes this eternal flame just kind of.
Ah! Feeding on itself.
Don't worry, Janet.
Could you put that out, please? It's all right.
Don't worry about it.
I was an amateur magician in high school.
The Magnificent Ken.
Really? Yeah.
With fire? Yeah, with fire.
Flaming cards, flaming knives, disappearing birds.
I did it to impress the girls.
But I'm here today to remind you of something.
Are you sure that that is safe? Don't worry.
Stephan Dumont.
Tommy pulled him out of a burning car.
Otherwise? Charlene Hanlon.
Tommy carried her dead down ten flights of stairs, revived her on the street.
Today, she's a teacher.
Uh, Lou.
Yeah.
Lou, fire! Yeah.
Oh, Lou! Fire! You got a Hit my arm.
Oh! Unh.
Yeah.
Lou? Yeah.
Are you okay? Yeah, I'm okay.
Look, you know, I only came over here to tell you that Tommy's job, it The only two words that I wanna hear from Tommy regarding 62 Truck are "I quit.
" Hey.
Hey.
You're looking awful perky at what might be my own personal.
Armageddon potentially.
Hold on.
Should be interesting.
Tom, Tom, come on, come on.
Hey.
Come on.
Meet my brothers.
Hey, Needles.
Uh, come meet my brothers.
D'brickshaw, Molique, Jose.
- How you doing? - What's up, man? What's going on? Jose? Where'd they come up with that one? You just got introduced to two guys named.
"D" apostrophe brickshaw and Molique with a "Q".
And you're asking about Jose? Heh.
White folks, man! Y'all some curious-ass crackers.
Sounds about right.
Uh, he's a little touchy about his name.
Forget the name.
What about the colors? One guy's jet black, the other guy's mocha, and Molique, very beige.
Black rainbow, brother.
Black rainbow.
Wait till you meet my daddy.
He's got a midnight shade thing going on.
It is true about black people, you know? They have the one color and then all these other colors going on with the one color, you know, like Obama.
I mean, he's kind of got a lavender lip thing going on, you know? Wasn't that funny.
Come here.
What? Come here.
Come on, come on.
What are you? Hey! You know.
What? You know.
Hey, man.
Jeez! How you holding up? I'm holding up fine.
What are you doing here? Heh.
What am I doing here.
Classic.
Hey.
Hi.
Hi.
Hi.
You all right? Yeah.
Uh, hey, everybody, can I get your attention? Um, can we sit down? Colleen has something to say.
Hi, everyone.
Ha, ha.
Um, okay, so I just wanted to make a little toast, um, to the love of my life, Shawn.
You are the greatest boyfriend a girl could ever ask for.
And I know you're gonna make the most wonderful husband a girl could ever ask for.
Nice.
And to the other love of my life, my dad.
Aww.
Who's just I love you, daddy.
Thank you for everything.
What? Nothing.
I got something on my face or something? Come here.
Mm.
Now you do.
Okay.
You all right? I have never been better.
Okay.
All right.
All right, it's my turn.
I just want to say as Tommy's chief um, and one of his oldest pals, he's the best.
He's the best firefighter, the best pal, the best father.
Tommy, you're the best.
Salud! Salud! Hey, and can the Gavin's add to that? Godspeed, Tom.
May the road rise up to meet you and may the wind always be at your back.
Sláinte.
Uh, you know, I'd like to say something if I could.
Um Just for a sec.
What's going on? Huh? Ever since I walked in this joint tonight, everybody's being, uh, very, uh, nice to me and saying very, very, uh, caring and nice stuff, and it just don't add up.
So, what gives? What, do I have cancer or something, honey? Tommy.
You know.
No.
Okay, is somebody gonna shoot me again? Is that what Hey? Hey! I'm just reaching for a roll, Tom.
Come on.
Honey, hon.
Um Well, Lou gave me the letter that you wrote, okay? And I took the liberty of telling the kids and actually, well, everyone about your promise.
My promise.
To retire from the fire department.
I am so proud of you.
And everyone, the letter was so, so darling uh, because he knows that he has such messy handwriting and I can't read it, so he typed it.
Thank you, baby.
Thank you so much.
I typed it? Hmm.
How many, uh, other people in the room tonight received a letter Ooh! From me, from Lou? Two, three, four, five.
Hmm.
Interesting.
Ha, ha.
Lou? Ahem.
Yeah, I'm, um, eating.
Can I see you outside, please? Yeah.
What else? Now! Yeah, I'm coming.
Now! Make sure no one eats this.
I told you how many times? It's a very simple task.
Not difficult.
Very definite plan of attack.
Man, did you try that risotto? It was out of this world.
That stuff was good.
I think they put something special in there.
It might have been a white truffle oil.
I'm not sure, but, oh, all right, Tom.
I went to Sheila's and I gave her the letter because I knew she was pissed at you.
All right? And look.
I mean, it turned everything around.
Same thing that your letter did to me.
And then I knew Janet wanted to kill you, so I went over there and I gave her the letter.
Except Long story short.
I ended up setting that letter on fire.
I'm sorry.
Tom, I realized I couldn't handle the pressure anymore.
I mean, what if I lost the letters? What if they flew out the window or God knows what happened, you know? And so I gave them to everybody like you told me to, and I told them not to read them.
And look, everybody's happy.
I didn't give them to the regular guys, though.
You know, you don't see molding like that anymore.
Molding? You wanna talk about molding? No, not really.
Are you done? No, I'm not done.
I'm thinking about what Janet said, and I think you should quit.
You think I should quit? Yeah.
Okay.
Were you not in that room just now? Yeah, I was there.
When Janet announced that I quit? When Janet announced to my entire family that I quit? Not to mention all the black people that are about to marry into the family.
I got news for you, it's over.
I'm done.
I have no job.
I have no job, and I owe Okay? Not to mention the thousands and thousands of dollars in risotto that Laqueefa and America are currently scarfing down.
Shameerica.
Shut up! Shut up.
I asked you to do one simple thing, okay? That's all.
I die I die, and you release the letters.
Okay? That's it.
I pass away, and you release the letters.
Death letters.
Death letters.
Do you hear any wiggle room in there, Lou? Huh? No.
Look, Tom, you know what, I wanted to do something.
I wanted to help.
I wanted to do something that you couldn't, Tom, which was to express how you really feel about people while they're still alive.
And so I burned the first one, so I wrote another letter to Janet from you, and I put everything in there that I thought you wanted to say to her, and I think I did a great job and everybody's happy.
So you can thank me later.
Ah, don't walk away.
No, no, no, no, no.
You have broke a sacred bond.
You were entrusted with the final wishes of a dead man, pretty heavy shit when you think about it.
And you dug me a hole that I probably will never be able to climb out of.
Well, you know what, it's better than a hole in the ground, because there ain't no digging out of that.
And you know what, Tom, I broke your trust and I'm sorry.
Okay? But I mean, look on the bright side.
You bite it now, everyone's on your side.
Tom, you should just You should just quit.
You put in your twenty.
You don't need to prove anything anymore.
You think about other people for once besides yourself.
Okay.
You're a traitor.
Yeah.
I gave you one simple task to do, and you somehow twisted it and turned it around against me.
Okay? All those nice things I said in the letter about how you were the brother I never had? Scratch it.
The only difference between you and my brother Johnny is that you never hit on my wife.
So You wanna hear how I feel, have me express my feelings while I'm still walking around alive? Yeah, why don't you? Here we go.
Ready? Yeah.
You're not Derek Jeter.
You're not even Joe goddamn Pepitone.
You know what you are? Judas.
That's who you are.
Oh, really? Yeah.
And that would make you Jesus? So funny.
So funny.
Don't think I'm not coming in for dessert.
Because I am.
Have to remember the firefighters on the morning of 9/11, they memorialized themselves by writing notes to their loved ones and leaving in the lockers.
I wrote some letters.
I kind of took what Feinberg was saying the other day to heart.
You want me to give these a proofread? Do not read them.
I won't.
I will not read them.
I had a white or a blue shirt on with stripes on my arm, I bet you I could do a better job at keeping some loose cannon prick in line! You know what, I would love to give you the keys to the kingdom for a couple days.
Chief? Five days.
Oh ho ho! Quiet.
You're acting lieutenant for five days, however all decisions must run through me.
You understand? Cool.
What the hell are you doing? That's mine! What is wrong with you? Oh, my God.
Oh my What are you doing here? I never let you read that letter because it is the truly only secret thing that Jimmy and I will ever have ever again.
Get out.
Got it.
Jesus Christ.
Can you believe this? Huh? I thought I was having a senior moment this morning when I came in here.
Thought I was walking into the wrong goddamn house.
How do you know you didn't? Well, that's Mike over there cleaning the Halligans.
Look at Garrity.
Franco's having him cleaning that door for the third time, his reward for coming in early.
Look at the floor.
Huh? You could eat right off of it.
Not that I'm encouraging you to eat.
You know, now that morale is at an all-time low, between Garrity and Franco this place is spic and span.
Yeah, I guess that would make Garrity span.
Hey, guys.
Heh.
Where are we? It's either the twilight zone or hell.
Firefighter Gavin, firefighter Shea, you are both late.
Hell.
Sorry, big man.
No smoking in the house.
It's not even lit.
Well, it's against the protocols of your new fitness regimen, cupcake, details are posted in your locker.
I expect a signed copy on my desk within the hour.
Oh, your desk.
This is the way Needles explained it.
He's on day two of a five-day term as the interim lieutenant.
It's only the tip of the iceberg, you know.
I don't think he's eaten, slept, or pissed in 72 hours.
Well, chief, I think it's a testament to what a man can do when he puts his mind to something.
Speaking of which, get dressed.
We got work to do.
That means you too, Fonzie.
Hey.
Ayyy.
No more kicking around the house, drinking coffee in your boots and your leather jacket, slick.
Station gear at all times.
Frankie.
I'm sorry.
Lieutenant, Think I'll rub paint off the door if I do more.
Can I do something else? Did you hit those spots I pointed out? Yeah, I got them.
All right, then carry on, Garrity, but tuck your shirt in first.
You serious? Do I look like I'm kidding? You look like you're about to squeeze a diamond outta your ass.
Garrity, I think just for that, you ought to hit that door one more time, asshole.
We've really We gotta put up with this? Don't look at me now.
This is Lou's brilliant idea.
Now I know how Mary Shelley felt.
Mm-hm.
Francostein.
Mm, very funny.
I guess now the only question is is Lou gonna stand by his word, or are you gonna bitch out and pull rank? How many calls you had? Been a few.
A few false alarms, a couple of medicals.
Rivera's been riding along.
Riding along.
Something funny? Yeah, good old ride-along Rivera.
No, no, this is all good, but you know what, we'll see what you're made of when we hit the streets, get into the shed.
Yeah.
Ride along.
And you owe me thirty-five cents for that cigar.
Pfft.
You better get used to it.
You're a boss now.
Yeah, all right.
Hey.
Oh, no, Tom.
What is this? Another love letter? I don't want it.
Listen.
I apologize for baiting you before with the first letter and the food and everything, but Listen, you were right, okay, what you said that day.
I went down to Ground Zero.
I thought about driving my truck into the hole, but then I thought about what you said, and you know what, I don't want to be number 344, you know? I'm over that shit, all of it.
The survivor's guilt.
You know, I'm living now in the here and now.
I got a whole new set of priorities.
So you know, this letter I poured, you know.
I poured a lot of my, you know, my innermost stuff.
That um, stuff, uh, are called feelings.
And you know what, Tom, I'm sorry I betrayed your trust and opened the first letter.
It's not very often one gets a glimpse inside the secret inner sensitive life of Tommy Gavin.
Well, this is it.
This is it.
This is the real one.
Yeah, and you know the deal.
I know the deal.
Okay.
All right? Done.
Away.
My word of honor.
We both know your word is worth shit.
Well, kind of like your feelings, so I figure we're both equal.
So there.
We're square.
We're square.
All right.
Gonna grab a coffee.
You gonna go get changed, like Ride-along Rivera said? No.
I never listen to you.
Why would I listen to that asshole? You want a coffee? No, I'm good.
All right.
See you later.
Yeah.
I'm not opening the letter.
Oh, jeez! * On another day C'mon, c'mon * * With these ropes I tied Can we do no wrong? * * Now we grieve 'Cause now is gone * * Things were good When we were young * * When my teeth bite down I can see the blood * * Of a thousand men Who have come and gone * * Now we grieve 'Cause now is gone * * Things were good When we were young * * Is it safe to say C'mon, c'mon * * Was it right to leave C'mon, c'mon * * Will I ever learn? C'mon, c'mon * * C'mon, c'mon C'mon, c'mon * Hey.
What's going on? Girls, uncle Teddy, love you.
I Mean it.
Mwah.
Bye, baby.
Goodbye.
Guess she's still pissed, huh? What are you guys doing? Finalizing the seating chart? I can't believe I'm gonna say this, ugh All the times I I wished that everybody in this house would just shut their yaps and give me some peace and some quiet.
Somebody please say something.
I want you to go to at least one meeting a day from now until the wedding.
Okay? And I want you to promise you will not visit Ground Zero again.
And when we tell you what the deal is with the wedding, you will not freak out.
Why am I gonna freak Ah, ah, ah, ah! I'm just asking a question We discussed this.
Yap, yap, no.
Zip.
This is my day, okay? The most important day in my life so far, so please no yelling, no drinking, okay? And no jokes about Shawn's family.
Why would I make a joke about Shawn's Dad! No finger-pointing, no fist punching and I forgot.
Uncle Teddy's walking me down the aisle now.
Heh.
What? Now, don't blow a gasket.
I'm not! I'm asking my daughter You're already blowing one! Hey, hey, hey! See, this is why I'm doing it instead of you.
She'll be walking down the aisle in her $10,000 dress and you But-but-but-but-but ah ah.
I thought it was eight grand, What's ten grand? What's The one I fell in love with was a little more expensive.
Let me get this straight.
Ten grand now? This the final price? There's no more.
This is it, right? Ten grand.
Ten grand and I can't drink.
Just shoot me in the head while we're at it, okay? See? He wants to drink! You're not in control of your sobriety.
What I really wanna do is punch you in the face right now.
Save that for the wedding.
Big, big finish.
Oh, funny.
Come on, girls.
Get the baby.
Let's go.
Janet, I really think we ought to think about going with plan B.
What's "plan B"? Oh, you'll find out.
Come on, girls.
Do you guys have enough diapers? You'll be needing the diapers with all the shit in here! Funny.
What's he talking about, "plan B"? Plan B is you don't go to the wedding.
Ugh, you gotta be kidding me, right? That I don't go to the wedding at all? Tommy, it is a celebration.
There will be alcohol everywhere.
Okay, honey, I have not had a drink in I don't know how long.
Yeah.
When is the last time you went to a meeting? I don't know.
Name the meeting.
Name the date.
I don't know.
Like five weeks ago or something like that.
No.
Three and a half.
Three and a half.
Even better.
Months.
Oh.
Really? Look, Tommy, the thing that you did with Sheila Okay, even though you didn't drink a drop, it is a sign.
That you are not ready for this.
You are not in a sane state of mind.
So Uncle Teddy is walking her down that aisle because the odds are, even with all the alcohol flowing freely, we can count on him to walk a straight line.
Now, did you talk to Mickey? Uh, No, I haven't No.
Of course not, because how could you talk to him when your head is so far up your own goddamn ass? Honey, my head is not my ass, okay? Okay, I want Mickey performing that ceremony, and I want you off that rig and into a safe job.
Yes, somewhere out of harm's way.
Honey, ugh No, Tommy, this is not a negotiation.
Okay, you wanna be a real father to this baby and not some sperm donor named "Dad," then you will get off that rig and into somewhere safe.
We've talked about this before.
We've tried it before, nine million discussions.
You know, I I but Ugh I don't have time for meetings.
No.
Get to a goddamn meeting every goddamn day and bring me proof! Okay, and do not, and I repeat, do not show up at that rehearsal dinner drunk.
I'm not Gonna I'll be there.
I'll be there, and I I will be sober as a judge.
Okay, good.
That will go a long way to showing Colleen that maybe you are capable of walking her down that aisle.
I'm capable.
I will be there.
Sober.
As a judge.
Done deal.
You got it.
So, serenity, patience.
Easy does it.
Keeping calm.
I wasn't always the laidback, easy-going guy you see before you here today.
There was a time when the easy-going, steady guy you see before you here put whiskey in his orange juice every morning.
There was a time Yeah, Tom.
Sorry.
I didn't mean to interrupt, ugh But a little bit of a rush.
I'm late for work and then And got all the wedding crap going on, as you know.
I really gotta get to the firehouse, blah, blah, blah.
Can I talk to you sorry, just one second, privately? Tom, I'm not going to the wedding.
I really need you to kind of go to the wedding, Mick.
I'm sorry, everybody.
This is my cousin Tommy.
Hey, Tommy.
Hey, everybody.
Hey.
He's also a raging, uh, sorry, he's also in recovery.
Yeah, well, I mean, pfft.
I wasn't as bad as him, but whatever.
Oh, is that right? Well, I wasn't.
I mean, pfft I didn't put whiskey in my orange juice.
I Listen, just tell me you're gonna come to the wedding, and this is all set.
I just really need you to come.
Go to hell.
Hey! Hey! Go to hell! Go to hell! Get out! And you can take that goddamn wedding and stick it where the sun don't shine.
She don't apologize to me.
She and I never set foot in the same room again as long as I live on this planet! You can tell her another thing.
I don't care how hot her ass is, I am never, ever sleeping with her again! All right, all right.
I get it, I get it.
If you, uh, could just sign this, it's a little note telling Janet I came to the meeting, and I was here All right.
I'm going.
Get him out.
Go! Sorry, everybody.
Didn't mean to Let me go.
Dear Lou, you have been more of a brother to me than even my own blood brother.
The bond between us goes deeper than the bond we felt as members of the firefighting brotherhood.
I trusted you with my life, and now, upon my passing, I trust you with the lives of my wife and my children, for you are a man much stronger than I ever was, a man so brave that I felt safe no matter what the circumstance might be each time you led us off that rig.
All the praise and all the glory I was given for my so-called heroics only existed because I knew no matter what that you were just a few steps away ready, willing, and able to pull me to safety.
I rest in peace now knowing that my family will forever be in your warm, protective embrace.
See you on the other side, my brother.
Love, Tommy.
Ah, you're such an asshole.
Hey, Gavin, where's your uni? Ugh, you know what, today's not the day to bust my balls, okay, Ride-along? Yeah, well, you know what, the shift started ten minutes ago.
You're late.
Yeah, well, I had a little family emergency, okay? What's new? Next time, leave it at home.
We got work to do around here, okay? You know, you're acting like a real douche bag.
Yeah? Well, it takes one to know one.
So after you're done with your milk-and-cookie break, Opie, I expect you to hop in uni.
Hey.
I swear to God.
He's called me Fonzie.
He's called me Opie.
He mentions Eddie Haskell to me, and I'm gonna rip his head off.
What's going on? All I want is PowerBars.
Everything's labeled.
What? Crackers, freaking bowls.
Aw, thanks, man.
And it's not just here.
At home they're busting my balls.
Katy, Colleen, Janet, because they're afraid I'm gonna blow up the wedding.
And Sheila won't even look me in the eyes because she's all pissed off about the, uh you know, the What's wrong? What's going on? What's with the look? Lou, I know all your looks.
This is not one of your looks.
This is This is a new look.
Somebody die? Knock it off.
Hey.
Guys, right here.
- Let's go, let's go! - All right.
We can go underneath.
Come on, guys.
We gotta get this guy out of here.
We gotta get underneath.
We need a chain and yank it the hell back.
No time.
The rig can't get an angle.
- Frankie, listen to me.
- Hey, what are you doing? Jesus Christ! Uh Shit! Damn it.
Franco, come on! - We need the chain.
- All right.
Get the chain right away.
Hook it up and back this bastard out of here.
You want to bark some orders now, hero? Shut up, Lou.
Nice move, bowels.
Aah, come on! Let's hurry up, guys! All right.
Pull, pull, pull.
All right, all right.
- Go ahead, Niels.
- Everybody, clear, clear.
Get out of the way.
All right.
Get him outta there, guys.
How's he looking? - He's all right.
- All right? He's fine.
Oh, boy.
You all right, Lou? Yeah, I'm fine.
Lou, look, I was just trying No, no, don't, don't, all right, Franco? You wanna play Superman to save face in front of these guys, you do it at your own expense.
Look, it was just my instinct, okay? A good lieutenant does not make a call like that without thinking, Franco, okay? That's why you don't wear the blue shirt.
That's why when we get back to the house, you're taking it off, or I'm gonna rip it off you and feed it to you.
Everybody back on the rig.
We're going home, and I'm riding shotgun.
Hi.
What? See, you're A-Rod, he's Jeter.
You go for the glory, he goes for the win.
Oh, yeah, like Tommy Gavin doesn't go for the glory every time he hops in the goddamn rig? Okay, what Tommy understands and you fail to realize, firefighter Rivera, is there ain't no glory, all right? Get your ass in the truck.
Yeah.
Get your ass in the truck.
What did I do? "What did I do?" Sheil.
Look at you, hot stuff.
Hey, honey, how are you? Mwah.
Good.
Dami.
What's What's happening? Nothing.
Um, Just have a seat.
Put your gorgeous little self down there.
I have a demonstration, ugh, for you.
Get this right.
Just sit and you watch and listen.
Now, this is a glass of vodka to you and I.
But to Tommy, this is what it is.
A great big shot of fire.
Even when it's not swirling around his incredibly screwed up system, even when it's stuck inside the glass, it's still a raging inferno for him.
So that night when he poured himself a drink that he actually never drank, it didn't matter.
Something inside of him, it snapped, made his mind begin toto rumble, started rummaging through your stuff looking for answers, information, evidence.
Now we both know that the mind of Tommy Gavin is a mind filled with very, very dark alleyways and terribly violent ideas and images and urges, but it's also the place where his best instincts reside, like saving people.
Stephan Dumont.
Tommy pulled him out of a burning car.
Nineteen eighty-seven.
Otherwise Charlene Hanlon.
Tommy carried her dead down ten flights of stairs, revives her on the sidewalk.
Today, she's a teacher.
Without Tommy This is a list of at least People who are still here on earth with us because of Tommy.
Mothers, fathers, sons, daughters, cops, coaches.
Damian.
Tommy pulled him out of a fire uptown before what happened happened.
And if he hadn't pulled him out, he would have been literally a bag of bones.
And you.
Now, you know, you may curse what he's done or not done since Jimmy died, but he saved you from yourself just by being there.
You know, Sheil, if I had a magic wand and I could wave it over his head and I could make him get out of this goddamn chair and go down to the corner with me and have a burger, you know that I would, but I can't.
But if Tommy hadn't have saved him, he would already be dead.
And without this kid, even in this state, I think I'd be talking to an empty room.
Now, look, our Our friend Tommy has been writing lately Letters Ugh, one to Janet, ahem, one to me, one to each of the kids, and to you.
Now, under no circumstances is anyone allowed to even open these, and it is only in the event of his death that we can actually read them.
This is yours.
I read mine already.
Couldn't help it.
It was staring at me, and I had to read it and I I had tears in my eyes when I did.
Ugh, It was the first time I think he's ever been honest about our friendship.
It made me realize how much I loved the guy and how much I owe him.
It just really put things in perspective.
I think maybe you should do the same.
You know, he's been calling me Derek Jeter lately, heh because he says I lead by example without being a showoff.
Well, I tell you one thing, if I'm If I'm Derek Jeter, then he's I mean, he's Mickey Mantle.
He's the great home run hitter.
He's the maniac that the golden bad boy who's gonna turn it around before it all ends.
Hey, why don't you leave that? I think I'm gonna need it.
Actually, it's lighter fluid.
Otherwise, I couldn't get the, uh, eternal flame effect that I wanted.
Tommy would drink it, but most humans Give him another shot, Sheil.
I mean, he's the Mick.
He deserves that.
My dearest Sheil.
If you are reading these words it means our time together is done.
And far too soon.
Our time on earth.
I cannot express what you meant to me, what our time together was worth.
Hey, that rhymes.
Sorry.
I just cannot begin to say the things I wish because I'm not good enough at that so allow me to choose a few small, but meaningful words.
Love.
Lips.
Heat.
Hope.
All these things you gave me.
You saved me from myself.
And wherever you go, whatever you do, know that I will be there, ever so gently, ever so true, brushing up against your brown skin saving you.
I don't have an ending for this.
Love, Tommy.
P.
S.
In case I forgot to tell you there's like 25 bottles of really, really expensive wine in three boxes in your bedroom closet behind some old suitcases, Heh.
I found them there when I was searching for Jimmy's letter.
I didn't touch any of them because they looked expensive plus I already had that bottle of vodka and red wine always made me gag a little when I sipped it.
So stupid.
But, I know you love wine and figured you forgot about them after you moved into that place.
Okay.
Love you forever, bye.
This is a glass of vodka.
I see that.
To you and I.
But once it enters Tommy Gavin's brain, it becomes this eternal flame just kind of.
Ah! Feeding on itself.
Don't worry, Janet.
Could you put that out, please? It's all right.
Don't worry about it.
I was an amateur magician in high school.
The Magnificent Ken.
Really? Yeah.
With fire? Yeah, with fire.
Flaming cards, flaming knives, disappearing birds.
I did it to impress the girls.
But I'm here today to remind you of something.
Are you sure that that is safe? Don't worry.
Stephan Dumont.
Tommy pulled him out of a burning car.
Otherwise? Charlene Hanlon.
Tommy carried her dead down ten flights of stairs, revived her on the street.
Today, she's a teacher.
Uh, Lou.
Yeah.
Lou, fire! Yeah.
Oh, Lou! Fire! You got a Hit my arm.
Oh! Unh.
Yeah.
Lou? Yeah.
Are you okay? Yeah, I'm okay.
Look, you know, I only came over here to tell you that Tommy's job, it The only two words that I wanna hear from Tommy regarding 62 Truck are "I quit.
" Hey.
Hey.
You're looking awful perky at what might be my own personal.
Armageddon potentially.
Hold on.
Should be interesting.
Tom, Tom, come on, come on.
Hey.
Come on.
Meet my brothers.
Hey, Needles.
Uh, come meet my brothers.
D'brickshaw, Molique, Jose.
- How you doing? - What's up, man? What's going on? Jose? Where'd they come up with that one? You just got introduced to two guys named.
"D" apostrophe brickshaw and Molique with a "Q".
And you're asking about Jose? Heh.
White folks, man! Y'all some curious-ass crackers.
Sounds about right.
Uh, he's a little touchy about his name.
Forget the name.
What about the colors? One guy's jet black, the other guy's mocha, and Molique, very beige.
Black rainbow, brother.
Black rainbow.
Wait till you meet my daddy.
He's got a midnight shade thing going on.
It is true about black people, you know? They have the one color and then all these other colors going on with the one color, you know, like Obama.
I mean, he's kind of got a lavender lip thing going on, you know? Wasn't that funny.
Come here.
What? Come here.
Come on, come on.
What are you? Hey! You know.
What? You know.
Hey, man.
Jeez! How you holding up? I'm holding up fine.
What are you doing here? Heh.
What am I doing here.
Classic.
Hey.
Hi.
Hi.
Hi.
You all right? Yeah.
Uh, hey, everybody, can I get your attention? Um, can we sit down? Colleen has something to say.
Hi, everyone.
Ha, ha.
Um, okay, so I just wanted to make a little toast, um, to the love of my life, Shawn.
You are the greatest boyfriend a girl could ever ask for.
And I know you're gonna make the most wonderful husband a girl could ever ask for.
Nice.
And to the other love of my life, my dad.
Aww.
Who's just I love you, daddy.
Thank you for everything.
What? Nothing.
I got something on my face or something? Come here.
Mm.
Now you do.
Okay.
You all right? I have never been better.
Okay.
All right.
All right, it's my turn.
I just want to say as Tommy's chief um, and one of his oldest pals, he's the best.
He's the best firefighter, the best pal, the best father.
Tommy, you're the best.
Salud! Salud! Hey, and can the Gavin's add to that? Godspeed, Tom.
May the road rise up to meet you and may the wind always be at your back.
Sláinte.
Uh, you know, I'd like to say something if I could.
Um Just for a sec.
What's going on? Huh? Ever since I walked in this joint tonight, everybody's being, uh, very, uh, nice to me and saying very, very, uh, caring and nice stuff, and it just don't add up.
So, what gives? What, do I have cancer or something, honey? Tommy.
You know.
No.
Okay, is somebody gonna shoot me again? Is that what Hey? Hey! I'm just reaching for a roll, Tom.
Come on.
Honey, hon.
Um Well, Lou gave me the letter that you wrote, okay? And I took the liberty of telling the kids and actually, well, everyone about your promise.
My promise.
To retire from the fire department.
I am so proud of you.
And everyone, the letter was so, so darling uh, because he knows that he has such messy handwriting and I can't read it, so he typed it.
Thank you, baby.
Thank you so much.
I typed it? Hmm.
How many, uh, other people in the room tonight received a letter Ooh! From me, from Lou? Two, three, four, five.
Hmm.
Interesting.
Ha, ha.
Lou? Ahem.
Yeah, I'm, um, eating.
Can I see you outside, please? Yeah.
What else? Now! Yeah, I'm coming.
Now! Make sure no one eats this.
I told you how many times? It's a very simple task.
Not difficult.
Very definite plan of attack.
Man, did you try that risotto? It was out of this world.
That stuff was good.
I think they put something special in there.
It might have been a white truffle oil.
I'm not sure, but, oh, all right, Tom.
I went to Sheila's and I gave her the letter because I knew she was pissed at you.
All right? And look.
I mean, it turned everything around.
Same thing that your letter did to me.
And then I knew Janet wanted to kill you, so I went over there and I gave her the letter.
Except Long story short.
I ended up setting that letter on fire.
I'm sorry.
Tom, I realized I couldn't handle the pressure anymore.
I mean, what if I lost the letters? What if they flew out the window or God knows what happened, you know? And so I gave them to everybody like you told me to, and I told them not to read them.
And look, everybody's happy.
I didn't give them to the regular guys, though.
You know, you don't see molding like that anymore.
Molding? You wanna talk about molding? No, not really.
Are you done? No, I'm not done.
I'm thinking about what Janet said, and I think you should quit.
You think I should quit? Yeah.
Okay.
Were you not in that room just now? Yeah, I was there.
When Janet announced that I quit? When Janet announced to my entire family that I quit? Not to mention all the black people that are about to marry into the family.
I got news for you, it's over.
I'm done.
I have no job.
I have no job, and I owe Okay? Not to mention the thousands and thousands of dollars in risotto that Laqueefa and America are currently scarfing down.
Shameerica.
Shut up! Shut up.
I asked you to do one simple thing, okay? That's all.
I die I die, and you release the letters.
Okay? That's it.
I pass away, and you release the letters.
Death letters.
Death letters.
Do you hear any wiggle room in there, Lou? Huh? No.
Look, Tom, you know what, I wanted to do something.
I wanted to help.
I wanted to do something that you couldn't, Tom, which was to express how you really feel about people while they're still alive.
And so I burned the first one, so I wrote another letter to Janet from you, and I put everything in there that I thought you wanted to say to her, and I think I did a great job and everybody's happy.
So you can thank me later.
Ah, don't walk away.
No, no, no, no, no.
You have broke a sacred bond.
You were entrusted with the final wishes of a dead man, pretty heavy shit when you think about it.
And you dug me a hole that I probably will never be able to climb out of.
Well, you know what, it's better than a hole in the ground, because there ain't no digging out of that.
And you know what, Tom, I broke your trust and I'm sorry.
Okay? But I mean, look on the bright side.
You bite it now, everyone's on your side.
Tom, you should just You should just quit.
You put in your twenty.
You don't need to prove anything anymore.
You think about other people for once besides yourself.
Okay.
You're a traitor.
Yeah.
I gave you one simple task to do, and you somehow twisted it and turned it around against me.
Okay? All those nice things I said in the letter about how you were the brother I never had? Scratch it.
The only difference between you and my brother Johnny is that you never hit on my wife.
So You wanna hear how I feel, have me express my feelings while I'm still walking around alive? Yeah, why don't you? Here we go.
Ready? Yeah.
You're not Derek Jeter.
You're not even Joe goddamn Pepitone.
You know what you are? Judas.
That's who you are.
Oh, really? Yeah.
And that would make you Jesus? So funny.
So funny.
Don't think I'm not coming in for dessert.
Because I am.