Will and Grace s07e08 Episode Script

Boy, there is nothing like spending a day at a museum to remind you just how painfully boring museums are I don't understand why they used to paint everybody so fat It's disgusting Although, Jesus did look pretty hot a couple of times You know, I once did it in a museum Really? Yeah, just now.
Some old guy rubbed up against me and I thought, ugh well, may not know much about art but I know what I like Well, I love the Metro Museum of Art Especially, 'cause if you cover up this part with your fingers you can make it say "fart" That sounds like a museum where you might have your own wing Excuse me.
Oh No problem Well, well, well.
Look at you all checking out guys' asses That's the first time you've done that since the divorce Well, that's because I've decided that it's time for to start dating again -Yay! -Oh, good for you, sweetie! I was gonna say "yay" Well, you know, our anniversary is coming up and it got me thinking I should get back in the game Leo got back in the game Leo got back in the game while we were still married You know, if you're serious about this there's a guy I've been dying to set you up with Sure! Bring him on Grace Adler is open for business Why do you got to be so graphic? Honey, I have got the perfect guy for you He's sweet, he's funny and he is a very tender lover Really? Who is he? Oh, um, I don't know his name but he's in his sixties, hangs out at the museum And if that doesn't work out there's a guy in my office Really smart, great sense of humor Oh, gosh.
Not that loser who's always organizing those pot-lucks and bake sales No, no, that's me! You know what? Set 'em up Set 'em all up.
Come one, come all All right, we get it.
Attention, hikers.
All trails lead to mount Grace! Àª & ±×·¹À̽º ÀÚ¸·Á¦ÀÛ - ³×ÀÌÆ® µå ó¸ 24 ÀÚ¸·ÆÀ Will & Grace ÀÚ¸·ÆÀ Á °ÇºÎ ¹èÆ÷ / ¼öÁ¤±ÝÁö ¹èÆ÷½Ã ÀÚ¸· Ãâó¸¦ ²À ¹àÇôÁÖ¼¼¿ä Oh, gosh I'm nervous.
I haven't done this in a while What? Shave above the knee? Don't be nervous.
Alan is a great guy And it's only dinner.
No big deal You're right Who cares if it works out? I'm just looking to get a couple of dates under my belt And if it works out it works out! If it doesn't, it doesn't But if it did, it would be great Great, it'd be fantastic! This is a big date for you I know.
It might be my last chance at happiness Might be? Definitely is Yeah, do not screw it up Okay, I should go -Wish me luck -Good luck.
Wait, whoa You got a thing there It's just some cover-up I had a spot Okay, cover-up is supposed to cover it up not make it look like a little clay mountain God, you can shoot an episode of "Davey and Goliath" on that thing Okay, before you go I wanna give you some advice You wanna give me advice on dating? That's a joke I'm in a serious relationship and you're divorced and living with a gay guy Go on Okay, keep your shoes on at the table Eat butter with bread not as an hors d'oeuvre And when the waiter offers you fresh ground pepper don't say "Is it free?" -Anything else? -Yes.
You look beautiful Now, come here.
Lean forward Okay, enough! It's a first date He's not gonna get as far with me as you just did Well, looky here Get all slutted up for Will's guy Won't even give my guy a chance Your guy wasn't a guy Your guy was Sharon Our lesbian UPS carrier Nice A snob and a homophobe (È£¸ðÆ÷ºñ¾Æ: µ¿¼º¾Ö Çø¿ÀÀÚ) And what about my guy, Richard? I thought you'd like him 'cause he's a world traveler He hops trains The studio apartment he referred to was a feed cart Nice.
A snob and a hobo-phobe Well, in any event, honey we're rooting for you Have a good date Oh.
Hey, hey, come here One more thing.
Here.
C'mere Will already adjusted them Oh, I wasn't adjusting them Well, I don't know what's wrong with Grace We're good at fixing people up I know! I set up the Governor of Jersey with his boyfriend (Àü ´ºÀúÁö ÁÖÁö»ç, Á¦ÀÓ½º ¸Æ±×¸®ºñ: Well not so much set them up as loaned them my apartment Hey, we should set each other up! Yeah.
I haven't been on a date in ages Other than those dinners with Mark Wahlberg (¸ Å© ¿ù¹ö±×: Àü Ä ºó Ŭ óÀÎ ¸ðµ¨, °¡¼öÈ°µ¿µµ Çß´ø ¹è¿ì) Well, he threw out half a turkey wrap and I put it in a baggie I eat a little bit every night All right, honey.
I'll fix you up What do you like again? Ah, men I know just the gender Give me more He'd have to be kind with just an air of mystery about him Something that'd make my pants go.
huh! - Gotcha.
Okay, let's do me now.
- Okay, what do you like? Oh, I don't know, honey I mean, I'm almost 200 years old You know, I just don't have time for all this getting-to-know-ya crap I just want somebody who gets me Somebody who's comfortable in my world and makes me laugh and occasionally brings me flowers And somebody who likes kittens and the hard-core bondage scene So, what do you like to do when you're not interior designing? Well, you know, I like to read novels and books go to the museum Oh, I went to the Met the other day So did I! I love that place! You know if you block out the name with your finger Nevermind Uh, what was your favorite part? Ah, well Okay actually I just went in to use the bathroom So, I guess my favorite part was the toilet part I really don't like museums Oh, thank God You know what else I hate? Reading You know, I probably shouldn't say this on the first date but mostly - I like to watch TV - I love TV! Ever since my divorce it's been like my best friend Oh.
Did I mention that I'm divorced? It's kind of a sad story-- Oh, it's 911.
I should take this.
-Hello? -Stop talking about your divorce.
-Are you here? -Yeah, I'm under the table Really? Look.
Just keep it light and breezy "Do you like magazines? I, too, like magazines!" Goodbye, Will -Sorry.
-Oh, that's okay.
You were telling me about your divorce Oh, forget about that Tell me about you I wanna hear about you Well, I'm the mother of two beautiful boys, Gavin and Tommy and I am super-excited to play the "Feud" (Ç»µå: °¡Á·³¢¸® Âü¿©ÇÏ´Â TV °ÔÀÓ¼î) Sorry, it was on while I was getting ready That's funny What? How many times have you giggled with the hair toss? -One.
-Really? -Two -Really? -Three -I'm here all night Eight, okay? Leave me alone It's going well Uh, would you hand me the butter please? Thanks No thanks, I don't want to fill up on bread Hey, Grace it's Alan I know our date just ended but I wanted to call and say I had a great time That's sweet So did I You're so funny.
Easy to talk to, and and gorgeous, by the way There's the second date Anyway, call me sometime Tonight if you want.
I'm home But not in a sad way I actually had a date with a beautiful redhead tonight Call me and I'll tell you about it You know what? I think I will call you, Alan.
Why Not? Hey, Grace Sorry, uh, bad connection Ji--Holland Tunnel Just called--say hi Our anniversary's coming up Remember that plan we had? I w--thinking about you.
It's Leo, by the way Hey! How did the date with Alan go? Oh, it didn't go very well.
I don't think I'm gonna see him again Goodnight Well, I guess it would be nice if I could touch your body ("¹ÏÀ½", Á Áö ¸ ÀÌŬÀÌ ºÎ¸§, °ÔÀÌÀÓ) I know not every body has got a body like you But I gotta think twic-- Hey! Just, uh listening to the radio And with the holy cleansing fire the sodomites shall be purged from the land! (¼Òµ¼ÀÎ, ¼º°æ¿¡ ³ª¿À´Â µ¿¼º¾Ö¿¡ ºüÁ³´ø Ÿ ôÇÑ Àΰ£µé) I think it's important to get both sides Well, you're going to hell anyway so you might as well dance So, listen, why, uh-- why didn't it work out with Alan? Oh, God How much butter did you eat? No, we just didn't click So, Gracie what happened last night? Did you call Leo back or did you let him dangle? Leo called? It was nothing He left a message How did you even know about that? How come I don't even know about it? Um, I know the code to your machine It's 52 Will's age Wait, what-- What did he say? I don't-- I don't remember It was nothing.
I erased it No you didn't, silly you saved it to your private mailbox And that code is 34C Girl is obsessed with my boobies! - Hey, stop! - No, no, no, no.
Let's hear it.
Hey, Grace Sorry, uh, bad connection Ji--Holland Tunnel Just called--say hi Our anniversary's coming up Remember that plan we had? I w--thinking about you It's Leo, by the way So, you're not going out with Alan again because your ex-husband called you from a submarine? What is he even talking about? What plan? We'd always talked about how every year on our anniversary we would We would go back to the roof of the Peninsula Hotel And jump? And make love on the way down To commemorate where we shared our first moment together as a married couple We had our wedding pictures taken there I think, I think he wants us to meet Yeah, honey.
Usually when couples agree to things like that it's because neither one of them has slept with an underage Cambodian girl It was another doctor and she wasn't underage Oh, Grace Like women can be doctors Hold on, you're not considering meeting him? I don't know Probably not Definitely not! It would be like the stupidest thing you could possibly do! You see, this is why I didn't tell you because I know you I knew that you would get all judgmental and finger pointing That's where you're wrong Bec-- Look I just-- I hate to see you all worked up over a few staticky words Yeah, G.
G.
, I mean, how do you know he'd even be there? - Because he said he loved me - He didn't say he loved you Yes, he did at the end I didn't hear it and I listened to it like, 40 times today Here it comes --thinking about you - Here - It's Leo, by the way "I love you, by the way.
" "It's Leo, by the way.
" Okay, okay.
All right all right.
Grace I'm sorry, I didn't hear anything in there about love I think I might know what I may have heard And I am absolutely sure I may have heard "I love you".
I think Why did he have to call? What does it matter? I mean, what if he did say "I love you"? What do you think's gonna happen?" You show up on the roof and you look him in the eyes and all of a sudden, he`s not the guy who always put work before his marriage - And, oh yeah, cheated on you! - Okay! Stop lecturing me, all right? This anniversary is kicking my ass already Just back off I need some space Space? You know what? That's a good idea I know exactly what to do Oh good, problem solved Will's gonna shoot her into space That's nice I've done that for friends Here's the plan I'm booking a hotel in the Berkshires for the weekend Great.
Finally I can get some quiet around here No, you're coming with me I know you, Grace If you don't, you're gonna spend your whole anniversary sitting around here obsessing about Leo Will? Stop it Stop trying to fix everything, okay? I'm not going anywhere with you I just need to figure this out for myself Honey, I'm so excited about my date! Oh, good Lord They'll let anybody in here Honey, would you look at that? That's my gosh-darned gardener Good evening, Mrs.
Walker or may I call you Karen? You may not! How the hell did you get out of the house? You haven't accrued enough points to go off-grounds! No, Karen, this is your date Apparently, his name is Cliff He is a widower a decorated war hero and a breast cancer survivor Stop humanizing him! I know it sounds crazy, Karen but think about it for a second You said you wanted somebody who knew you inside and out and who would bring you flowers For you But please, don't tell Rosario We have a casual thing going Great.
Now I'm getting Rosario's sloppy seconds! Thanks for the crappy date! Hi, um, Karen Here! This is what a great fix-up looks like Hello, handsome Is there somewhere else we could go? My wife's mother comes here Your wife!? Honey, he's what they call on the down low Oprah did a whole show about it Married men who like to get a little man time on the side Yeah, but I'm not gay And I would never suggest you were Uh, would you excuse us for a moment? I don't mean to be rude, but I need to pull her over here and tell her how disgusted I am by you Listen When you come out give me a call That's the best you could come up with? I've never so insulted in my whole life! Yeah, well at least I tried! I wore my Doc Martin's to the nub trolling gay bars for you! I inhaled so much glitter my boogers look like disco balls! - I couldn't find anyone! - I couldn't find anyone for you either! And I wore my bone to the nub trolling all the gay bars in Manhattan The point is nobody's good enough for you Yeah, well nobody's good enough for you either And they never will be! It almost sounds like you don't want me to find anyone Yeah, well, maybe I don't Come on, let's face it, Jackie You're the only who's good enough for me Oh, Karen, I feel the same way about you, too Hey! Why don't we be each other's boyfriend? Oh, Jackie, I'd like that That sounds sweet Just one question How would I get my rocks off? Well, that's easy We just have sex on the side Like married people do This is it, Grace! I'm leaving! Weekend in the Berkshires Last chance! I'm serious, chances are-- are dwindling here All right, I'm gonna count to three One, two, three Who you talking to, crazy? What are-- You're coming? Why did you keep hanging like that? 'Cause it's fun to make your voice go up that high Come on, I can't wait to get out of here and forget about my anniversary Thanks for doing this - Glad I could help, sweetie - Oh! I got us a special treat Stockard Channing reading The Secret Life of Bees Ugh.
Audiobooks Just another plot to shove books down our throat Yeah.
This reading thing has gotten out of hand I hear they're pushing this junk on kids now Junk.
Junk food.
Oreos Good idea.
I'll get them Hey, Grace.
Sorry, uh, bad connection.
Ji--Holland Tunnel Come on, what're you doing in there? Just called--say hi Our anniversary's coming up Remember that plan we had? I w-- Okay! Here we come! Ready to go! You guys knock so softly we barely heard you What a re-- What are you doing? We're coming to the Berkshires with you to help you get your mind off Leo You're not invited Uh, that's not for you to decide, okay? It's up to Grace - You're not invited - Yay! It's unanimous! - Road trip! - Shotgun! (¼¦°Ç: ÀåÃÑ.
ÀÚµ¿Â÷ÀÇ Á ¼ö¼®ÀÌ õ Àǹ̵µ ÀÖÀ½) God, I hope she means she wants to ride in the front seat ÀÚ¸·Á¦ÀÛ - ³×ÀÌÆ® µå ó¸ 24 ÀÚ¸·ÆÀ Will & Grace ÀÚ¸·ÆÀ Á °ÇºÎ¹èÆ÷ / ¼öÁ¤±ÝÁö ¹èÆ÷½Ã ÀÚ¸· Ãâó¸¦ ²À ¹àÇôÁÖ¼¼¿ä