Adventure Time with Finn & Jake s07e09 Episode Script
Stakes Part 4: Empress Eyes
Unacceptable.
Mm Un-unacceptable.
Unaccepta Aaah! Lemons! Whew! Gunter? Y-you having a bad dream? Gunter? Oh, my glob.
Hello, Simon.
Aaaaah Oh, Lady! Hi.
Wait, you don't remember me? Oh, man.
I'm so sorry.
I stalk a lot of ladies.
Were you at Shelby's barbecue? Huh.
Looks like you've lost it all the way.
You've crossed the Valley of Tears and come out the other side but a shadow.
Oh, thanks.
Well, all the better for you to submit.
I like where this is going.
Don't resist.
Sell your spirit to the skies.
Surrender to The Empress Eyes.
Empress, my darling! My great eternal love! How can I serve you? Bring me blood.
At once! Alley-oop! Oh, oh, this is so sad.
Here you go, my love.
What's this? Don't you have any human? Humans? Well, Finn's the only human around here.
Try a penguin.
Wenk! Ugh.
You know, Empress is a kind of penguin, and your name is Empress.
That's kind of cool, right? Bleh.
Tastes like cheese water.
Where's the top-drawer stuff? Oh, uh, don't be like that, honey-poo.
I'll fix it.
I'll do anything for you.
Bring me the blood of Finn! Okay.
Oh, look.
I've gotten to my bit.
"Today I met a super-pretty cyclops lady with fangs.
She told me to eat a fat boulder, and I did it.
" Ha! I'd forgotten that one.
The Empress! Vampiyah, I'm gonna kick yah Vampiyah, I'm gonna lick yah Vampiyah Aah! Uh-oh.
It's P.
B.
's outside clock! Ahh.
You did a tremendous job guarding the cabin, Jake.
But it looks like you need to be relieved.
Yeah, I need relief.
P.
B.
still working on new vampire-busting gear? Yeah, but she's almost done.
No sign of Marceline, though.
I think she ditched us to fight the vampires by herself.
Solo-style.
We'll go look for her after P.
B.
's device is up and running.
So, how did you pass the time? Patted my laps and made some rhymes.
Stoop, stoop, sittin' on the stoop Stoop, stoop, sittin' on the stoop Is that P.
B.
's outside clock? Looks like it's been staked.
- What did you do? I heard a loud snap, and my vampire-hunting reflexes kicked in! Dude, that was her Uncle Gumbald's outside clock.
Yeeegh! She doesn't have to know I broke the clock.
Let's blame it on the vampires! Or we can hide it! Whoo! Problem solved? Yeah? Whooop! Snap! Aaah! What was that?! Vampiyah! Aah! Aah! Hyah! Hah! Snap, snap, snapping branches for fun Oh, ho, ho, this is riveting.
"The Empress is so nice.
Today she let me polish her boots with my tongue.
That's almost like kissing, right?" Hey! Who's my hunny bunny?! Simon! Marceline! What has she done to you? Did she bite you?! Hey, calm down.
You're destroying the mood.
I'm trying to get her to bite me later.
Minion! Honestly, I'm standing right here as you collude against me with my sworn enemy.
It's a bit rude.
- Sorry.
- Eh! Stake! - Yeah! - Finn? I got your back, Marceline! Ha! Huh? Ow.
How dare you stake my back? I was aiming for your heart! Ice King, bind the interlopers in ice.
Heh.
Let's keep it down, huh? My baby's resting.
Aaaaaah! No way! Waaaaaaah! Shush! Simon, you have to resist the Empress! But she's a woman.
Aha! Ohh.
She's a vampire! I hunt vampires because of you! Because of me? How my life was without you I thought my life was through I could barely stay on my feet and I couldn't find much to eat Every so often, I'd make a sad tone Because I felt so, so alone I missed you by my side I was so lost without you as my guide Then one day, I thought I saw you from far away But it wasn't you when he turned around to say Hello to the little girl running up to him Also to his wife The day was getting dim I wanted to get close, and to talk to the couple Then I saw a vampire about to cause them trouble I destroyed the vampire enemy, but I'd scared away the family Mem-mem-memories Mem-mem-mem memories Mem-mem-mem-mem memories Staking vampires, protecting the last remaining humans, it felt like I was protecting you.
It was the only thing that brought me happiness during those years.
Oh, Marceline! Simon? A-are you remembering? Pa-chazz! Shmowzow.
Please, Simon! Remember our history! Our what now? Oh, Marceline.
I heard everything.
I was invisible.
All your tiresome mortal emotions, they'll all be over soon.
Minion, I order you to kill Marceline.
Whaaa?? No way! She's my pal! Are you disobeying me? Hey, it's called real talking.
and you still can't get anything right, can you? Here's our chance! Please, baby, don't say that.
You're my thrall.
- I am enthralled by you! - You distract the Empress.
Squeeze! Yaaaah! Ha! No! Heuk! Drat.
Aaaaaaaah! You got this comin'.
No! Simon, what are you doing? Let me go! If you want to hurt my lady, you'll have to go through me! Uuuuuugh! Now, Oaf! Kill her! Sweetie, there's no need to raise your voice.
What?! Okay, that's it.
Turn and look at me.
Oh! Are we gonna gaze into each other's eyes again? You must fall deeper under my spell.
Sell your spirit to the skies.
I can see myself in your pupils.
Hee-hee.
You're not even hypnotized.
At all.
Them gigantic sparkly orbs of yours could hypnotize an earclops.
So, you're not.
Eh-heh, no.
B-but honey, wh-why you being so mean to me? Because you're too thick to even fall under my spell.
And you got no class.
Oh, so you're doing that? You're gonna start name-calling? You want to play the blame game?! Okay! Well, if you weren't so perfect and and pretty and statuesque and and Come on, Simon.
It's over.
It's gonna be okay, man.
Nope, nope.
This way.
This way.
Come on, let's get you some ice cream.
That's the last time you're gonna toy with his heart.
Psht! If you really cared about him, why'd you let him degenerate into this pathetic clown character? He used to have more of a silver-fox thing going on, with his hair and those cute glasses.
He was happier then, you know.
When he was serving me.
Aaaaaaah! Dang, girl.
Aaah! Aaah! Aah! Gah! Open those peepers! Eat a stake! Huhn No! Ugh! I don't understand this.
Marceline! Yeah, you're welcome! Hunh Um Marceline? All right.
I shouldn't have tried to go it alone with the vamps.
From now on, we'll do this team-up style.
Okay, team.
You're still invisible.
Oh! Heh whoops.
Oh! Hm.
Mm Un-unacceptable.
Unaccepta Aaah! Lemons! Whew! Gunter? Y-you having a bad dream? Gunter? Oh, my glob.
Hello, Simon.
Aaaaah Oh, Lady! Hi.
Wait, you don't remember me? Oh, man.
I'm so sorry.
I stalk a lot of ladies.
Were you at Shelby's barbecue? Huh.
Looks like you've lost it all the way.
You've crossed the Valley of Tears and come out the other side but a shadow.
Oh, thanks.
Well, all the better for you to submit.
I like where this is going.
Don't resist.
Sell your spirit to the skies.
Surrender to The Empress Eyes.
Empress, my darling! My great eternal love! How can I serve you? Bring me blood.
At once! Alley-oop! Oh, oh, this is so sad.
Here you go, my love.
What's this? Don't you have any human? Humans? Well, Finn's the only human around here.
Try a penguin.
Wenk! Ugh.
You know, Empress is a kind of penguin, and your name is Empress.
That's kind of cool, right? Bleh.
Tastes like cheese water.
Where's the top-drawer stuff? Oh, uh, don't be like that, honey-poo.
I'll fix it.
I'll do anything for you.
Bring me the blood of Finn! Okay.
Oh, look.
I've gotten to my bit.
"Today I met a super-pretty cyclops lady with fangs.
She told me to eat a fat boulder, and I did it.
" Ha! I'd forgotten that one.
The Empress! Vampiyah, I'm gonna kick yah Vampiyah, I'm gonna lick yah Vampiyah Aah! Uh-oh.
It's P.
B.
's outside clock! Ahh.
You did a tremendous job guarding the cabin, Jake.
But it looks like you need to be relieved.
Yeah, I need relief.
P.
B.
still working on new vampire-busting gear? Yeah, but she's almost done.
No sign of Marceline, though.
I think she ditched us to fight the vampires by herself.
Solo-style.
We'll go look for her after P.
B.
's device is up and running.
So, how did you pass the time? Patted my laps and made some rhymes.
Stoop, stoop, sittin' on the stoop Stoop, stoop, sittin' on the stoop Is that P.
B.
's outside clock? Looks like it's been staked.
- What did you do? I heard a loud snap, and my vampire-hunting reflexes kicked in! Dude, that was her Uncle Gumbald's outside clock.
Yeeegh! She doesn't have to know I broke the clock.
Let's blame it on the vampires! Or we can hide it! Whoo! Problem solved? Yeah? Whooop! Snap! Aaah! What was that?! Vampiyah! Aah! Aah! Hyah! Hah! Snap, snap, snapping branches for fun Oh, ho, ho, this is riveting.
"The Empress is so nice.
Today she let me polish her boots with my tongue.
That's almost like kissing, right?" Hey! Who's my hunny bunny?! Simon! Marceline! What has she done to you? Did she bite you?! Hey, calm down.
You're destroying the mood.
I'm trying to get her to bite me later.
Minion! Honestly, I'm standing right here as you collude against me with my sworn enemy.
It's a bit rude.
- Sorry.
- Eh! Stake! - Yeah! - Finn? I got your back, Marceline! Ha! Huh? Ow.
How dare you stake my back? I was aiming for your heart! Ice King, bind the interlopers in ice.
Heh.
Let's keep it down, huh? My baby's resting.
Aaaaaah! No way! Waaaaaaah! Shush! Simon, you have to resist the Empress! But she's a woman.
Aha! Ohh.
She's a vampire! I hunt vampires because of you! Because of me? How my life was without you I thought my life was through I could barely stay on my feet and I couldn't find much to eat Every so often, I'd make a sad tone Because I felt so, so alone I missed you by my side I was so lost without you as my guide Then one day, I thought I saw you from far away But it wasn't you when he turned around to say Hello to the little girl running up to him Also to his wife The day was getting dim I wanted to get close, and to talk to the couple Then I saw a vampire about to cause them trouble I destroyed the vampire enemy, but I'd scared away the family Mem-mem-memories Mem-mem-mem memories Mem-mem-mem-mem memories Staking vampires, protecting the last remaining humans, it felt like I was protecting you.
It was the only thing that brought me happiness during those years.
Oh, Marceline! Simon? A-are you remembering? Pa-chazz! Shmowzow.
Please, Simon! Remember our history! Our what now? Oh, Marceline.
I heard everything.
I was invisible.
All your tiresome mortal emotions, they'll all be over soon.
Minion, I order you to kill Marceline.
Whaaa?? No way! She's my pal! Are you disobeying me? Hey, it's called real talking.
and you still can't get anything right, can you? Here's our chance! Please, baby, don't say that.
You're my thrall.
- I am enthralled by you! - You distract the Empress.
Squeeze! Yaaaah! Ha! No! Heuk! Drat.
Aaaaaaaah! You got this comin'.
No! Simon, what are you doing? Let me go! If you want to hurt my lady, you'll have to go through me! Uuuuuugh! Now, Oaf! Kill her! Sweetie, there's no need to raise your voice.
What?! Okay, that's it.
Turn and look at me.
Oh! Are we gonna gaze into each other's eyes again? You must fall deeper under my spell.
Sell your spirit to the skies.
I can see myself in your pupils.
Hee-hee.
You're not even hypnotized.
At all.
Them gigantic sparkly orbs of yours could hypnotize an earclops.
So, you're not.
Eh-heh, no.
B-but honey, wh-why you being so mean to me? Because you're too thick to even fall under my spell.
And you got no class.
Oh, so you're doing that? You're gonna start name-calling? You want to play the blame game?! Okay! Well, if you weren't so perfect and and pretty and statuesque and and Come on, Simon.
It's over.
It's gonna be okay, man.
Nope, nope.
This way.
This way.
Come on, let's get you some ice cream.
That's the last time you're gonna toy with his heart.
Psht! If you really cared about him, why'd you let him degenerate into this pathetic clown character? He used to have more of a silver-fox thing going on, with his hair and those cute glasses.
He was happier then, you know.
When he was serving me.
Aaaaaaah! Dang, girl.
Aaah! Aaah! Aah! Gah! Open those peepers! Eat a stake! Huhn No! Ugh! I don't understand this.
Marceline! Yeah, you're welcome! Hunh Um Marceline? All right.
I shouldn't have tried to go it alone with the vamps.
From now on, we'll do this team-up style.
Okay, team.
You're still invisible.
Oh! Heh whoops.
Oh! Hm.