Riverdale (2017) s07e09 Episode Script
Chapter One Hundred Twenty-Six: Betty & Veronica Double Digest
1
["AIN'T THAT A SHAME" PLAYING]
[JUGHEAD] Grief is a terrible thing.
When you've suffered a loss as I have,
the death of my mentor and
literary idol, Brad Rayberry,
time falls into a slow, sad rhythm.
And a moment feels like an eternity.
- [MUSIC SLOWS DOWN]
- Even as the rest of the world
- continues to tick on.
- [CLOCK TICKING]
[DR. WERTHERS] You will no
longer be in the River Vixens.
Your mother and I believe
that it's too sexualized
an environment for you.
High school in general is a
highly sexualized environment.
Wouldn't you say?
Is that how you see it?
A bunch of horny teenagers
trapped together like sardines
for hours upon hours?
How do you see it?
As an academic institution meant
to provide a safe environment
where students can challenge
themselves intellectually
without being morally and
physically compromised.
Oh, well, you obviously haven't
spent a lot of time in gym class.
You are here, Betty,
because you stripped
in front of your window
for your next-door
neighbor's pleasurement.
And then you flashed your Your
underpants on live television.
In short, you seem unhealthily
obsessed with sexuality.
Now, the words that come to mind are
"nymphomaniac," "exhibitionist,"
"sexual compulsive."
What exactly do you want to
talk to me about, Dr. Werthers?
Well, given your recent
behavior, I'm curious.
What is your first sexual memory?
- [BUZZES]
- [SIGHS]
[SIGHS]
I'm not sure that I remember.
Uh, in that case, um
How often, Betty, would you
say that you think about sex?
["LOLLIPOP" PLAYING]
Lollipop, lollipop ♪
Oh, lolli-lolli-lolli ♪
Lollipop, lollipop ♪
Oh, lolli-lolli-lolli ♪
Lollipop, lollipop ♪
Oh, lolli-lolli-lolli Lollipop ♪
[POP SOUND PLAYS]
Boom-boom, boom, boom ♪
Lollipop, lollipop ♪
Oh, lolli-lolli-lolli ♪
Lollipop, lollipop ♪
Oh, lolli-lolli-lolli ♪
Lollipop, lollipop ♪
Oh, lolli-lolli-lolli Lollipop ♪
[POP SOUND PLAYS]
Boom-boom, boom, boom ♪
Call my baby lollipop ♪
Tell you why ♪
His kiss is sweeter ♪
Than an apple pie ♪
And when he does his
shaky rockin' dance ♪
Man, I haven't got a chance ♪
I call him ♪
Lollipop, lollipop ♪
Oh, lolli-lolli-lolli ♪
Lollipop, lollipop ♪
Oh, lolli-lolli-lolli ♪
Lollipop, lollipop ♪
Oh, lolli-lolli-lolli Lollipop ♪
[POP SOUND PLAYS]
Sweeter than candy on a stick ♪
Huckleberry, cherry or lime ♪
If you had a choice ♪
He'd be your pick ♪
But lollipop is mine ♪
Lollipop, lollipop ♪
Oh, lolli-lolli-lolli ♪
Lollipop, lollipop ♪
Oh, lolli-lolli-lolli ♪
Lollipop, lollipop ♪
Oh, lolli-lolli-lolli Lollipop ♪
[POP SOUND PLAYS]
[DR. WERTHERS] Betty. Betty.
[RECORD SCRATCHES]
How often do you think about sex?
I would say an average amount.
I need a number, Betty.
Well, according to Dr. Kingsley,
teenagers think about
sex every seven seconds.
That number is for teenage boys.
There is a very different
barometer for teenage girls.
Well, in that case, I would
say I think about sex
all the time.
What did you just write down?
Never mind that.
Why do you think you think
about sex all the time?
I'm curious about how it feels.
I don't think that waiting until
I'm married to have sex makes sense.
What about having sex for pleasure?
Betty, sex is for married people
so they can start families.
So then, what about the girlie magazines
that my dad keeps hidden
in his sock drawer?
Uh, I'm sorry?
Well, I remember last year,
we were going to church.
My dad asked me to fetch
him his cuff links and
when I went to look for
them in his sock drawer,
I found all of these
girlie magazines.
Your father is not in therapy. You are.
Well, maybe he should be.
He's a grown man.
I'm a child psychiatrist.
I am not a child, either.
Though, actually, I do think that
our conversations are starting to
make me see things more clearly.
[SPUTTERS] In what particular way?
Well, I'm just now realizing that
I don't think I want to get married.
At least not anytime soon. Maybe never.
I want to make an impact
on the world instead of
Or in addition to
just having a family.
[POP MUSIC PLAYING ON STEREO]
- Puppy love, that's what they say ♪
- [KNOCKING AT DOOR]
Knock, knock.
Hi, sweetheart.
I got you something fun.
[CHUCKLES] What are those for?
I was in the grocery store
and I just thought the
pictures were so pretty.
I had to get you a few of them.
Mom, I'm not even dating anyone.
Oh, it doesn't matter.
A girl can daydream about
her wedding, can't she?
Why are you bringing this up right now?
[CLICKS TONGUE] Oh, Elizabeth,
I just know,
when I see you in that white
dress, standing at that altar
[SIGHS]
It's gonna be the
happiest day of my life.
[DOOR BELL DINGS]
[VERONICA] Tickets.
Get your tickets to the Babylonium's
James Dean double feature.
[ROCK MUSIC PLAYING]
What's all this about James Dean?
As president of his fan club, I,
along with my fellow Dean-izens,
have been waiting for East of Edento
reach our little hamlet for months now.
Well, you're just in luck,
because we have, in our
possession, a print of East of Eden.
And why, pray tell, should
I go to the Babylonium
when the screen at the Orpheum, in
nearby Greendale, is much larger,
as befits the stature
of my beloved Jimmy Dean?
Is the Orpheum giving you and
your Dean-izens free passes?
On the condition that you spread
the good word about the Babylonium?
We want a robust crowd
to honor Jimmy's memory.
On the sacred ground
of James Dean's grave,
I will deliver my fan club,
the Vixens and the Bulldogs.
Excellent.
But don't worry about the Bulldogs.
I'm extending that
invitation myself, personally.
Batten down the hatches, boys,
because the Babylonium is going
to do boffo business this weekend..
I can feel it.
But why are we giving
out tickets for free?
I'll let you in on the dirty secret
about the movie theater business, Kevin.
We make most of our money
from popcorn and soda sales.
And, uh, what was all that
about inviting the Bulldogs?
They're our hometown heroes.
Of course they have to be there.
All the Bulldogs or
just one in particular?
[CLEARS THROAT]
[BULLDOGS CHEERING]
[FOGARTY] Oh, check it out, Bulldogs.
[BULLDOG PLAYER] Oh, look at this.
If it isn't Miss Twinkle Town herself.
It's Tinseltown.
As a fan of the Bulldogs, I wanted
to personally offer you free passes
to our James Dean double
feature at the Babylonium.
Comp tickets are in your lockers.
And you, Reginald?
Shall I save you a seat beside me?
I mean, surely you know what Jimmy Dean
used to do in high school, I hope.
What's that?
He was a basketball star, Reggie.
Just like you.
["IT HAPPENED" PLAYING]
It happened ♪
[CHATTERING INDISTINCTLY]
[VERONICA] Here you are.
That'll be 25 cents.
Okay.
Or you could treat me to
a milkshake after the show.
You just keep on shooting, don't you?
You keep passing me the ball.
Okay, sure. Let's do it.
Take it.
- Meet you back here?
- All right.
Now get in there before you
miss the coming attractions.
- [CASH REGISTER DINGS]
- Veronica?
Kevin.
Guess who's got a date with Reggie
Mantle tonight after the show?
That's swell, but Clay's got a
situation in the projection booth.
I don't know what happened,
but the print we received
from the studio
We can't play it.
What? Why?
It's been overexposed.
How many reels are like this?
That's the thing, all of them.
We've got a sold-out house.
[CHATTERING INDISTINCTLY]
Welcome to the Babylonium.
[ALL CHEERING]
We're so excited to have
you all here tonight.
So quit bashing our ears
and play the damn movie!
[ALL] Yeah!
Due to some unforeseen
technical difficulties,
I regret to inform you
we are unable to screen
our James Dean double feature tonight.
- [CROWD BOOING]
- I knew it.
However
However, we are working on the problem
and are rescheduling
said double feature
That's all very well and good,
but we, the proud members of the
James Dean Fan Club Riverdale Chapter,
demand a refund immediately.
[AUDIENCE CHANTING] Refund! Refund!
Refund?
You all got free passes,
including you, Cheryl.
True, but we did spend all
this money on popcorn and soda
to consume during the double
feature which is no longer happening.
[AUDIENCE CLAMORING]
I would be more than happy to
provide each and every one of you
with a voucher for any
snack of your choosing
We don't want your stupid vouchers.
We want our money back.
- [ALL] Yeah!
- [CHERYL] What a fakeout!
It's like Jimmy Dean
died all over again!
All right, all right, all
right, all right, all right.
Calm down. Calm down.
You can present your receipts
at the concession
stands for a full refund.
Yeah, right!
Hey!
[MAN EXHALES]
Reggie.
I'm so sorry.
As much as I'd be delighted to
split a milkshake with you
You've got a business to take care of.
I do.
The Babylonium's hanging on by
the most gossamer of threads.
I figured as much.
I'd happily take a rain check.
Yeah? Sure.
Yeah, just let me know
when's a good time for you.
Okay.
I've never heard of
such a thing, Mr. Roth.
A venerated studio like yours,
sending out unplayable prints
of a major release like East of Eden?
[PETER ON PHONE] I'm as
baffled as you, Miss Lodge.
At any rate, please accept our
deepest apologies for this mishap.
I'll accept your apology,
but what I really want is a
pristine copy of East of Eden.
And what I want is audiences in
Riverdale to see this picture.
I do. It's a wonderful picture.
But I'm afraid that there
are no more available prints.
You sent me a defective
product. How is this my problem?
Miss Lodge.
Veronica. May I call you Veronica?
You're the theater owner.
It's always your problem.
You'd know that if you weren't so green.
Green?
Let me assure you
I'm so sorry, but I need to let you go.
I'm having lunch at the
Polo Lounge with Monty Clift,
but good luck to you.
How does a major studio
run out of prints of their
biggest release of the year?
I don't know.
But luckily, they're not
the only studio in town.
- It's time to work the phones, boys.
- [PHONE RINGING]
I have Pasadena Pictures.
Nikki? Veronica Lodge.
No, Nikki, I'm in exhibition these days.
The Babylonium in Riverdale.
Listen, my customers simply don't
have time for that Steinbeck yawner.
I need something
exciting, something fresh.
Do you have any available
prints of To Catch a Thief?
I'm hearing great things
about Hitchcock's latest.
Word around town is that
Oklahoma! is a masterpiece.
What about this Night of the
Hunter I keep reading about?
It's RKO.
[MAN 1] Be that as
it may be, Miss Lodge,
we've already booked our
picture at the Orpheum.
Unfortunately, Riverdale isn't a market
we're interested in cultivating.
It's Silver Shield Studios.
[MAN 2] I'm sorry, but
we're being very particular
about how we're distributing
musicals this year.
It's Superior.
[MAN 3] Furthermore, all
of our current releases
demand larger theaters.
Please, don't call us again.
But, sir, you used to send us your
movies every week. What changed?
I don't do business with
underage would-be impresarios.
Especially not when I'm trying to
get into business with their parents.
But good luck to you,
Miss Lodge. You'll need it.
[DIAL TONE SOUNDING]
[SIGHS] Well, there you have it, boys.
I and the Babylonium
have been blacklisted
by every major studio in Hollywood.
Why, though?
[SIGHS] If I had to hazard a guess,
my parents.
I've been waiting for
this penny loafer to drop
since I bought the theater
out from under them.
My last call confirmed it, but honestly,
I suspected sabotage from the
moment we got that bad print.
What do your parents want?
To see everyone but themselves fail,
including their own daughter.
I'm sure they want the
Babylonium to shutter
so they can buy it from me at a discount
and turn it into a parking lot.
I have an idea.
So far, we've only
tried the major studios.
But there are a lot of smaller,
independent places out there.
They're scrappy, and they
don't play by the same rules.
Their movies don't have big
stars or budgets or prestige.
In other words,
they're B movies, but
they're still movies.
Good idea, Clay.
Boys, if we're going down,
we're going down fighting.
[SNAPS FINGERS]
Get me one of those smaller studios.
Tell me, Betty, do you
ever remember your dreams?
Sometimes.
Are your dreams sexual?
Sometimes.
Well then, tell me, Betty
What is your most vivid
or frequent sexual dream?
[BETTY] I guess it's the one
where I'm in biology class, only
I'm the teacher, tutoring
one of my students.
[DR. WERTHERS] Which student?
[BETTY] It varies.
["CAPTURED" PLAYING]
Captured in a moonlight
that blinds you ♪
And a magic that binds me ♪
In a world ♪
[DR. WERTHERS] Yes, but most often?
[BETTY] It's Archie.
[DR. WERTHERS] And what
occurs in this dream?
A music strange to me ♪
Beats its thunder ♪
Through and through ♪
Is it love? ♪
This wondrous change in me ♪
This enchanted dream come true ♪
Captured In this spell ♪
[BETTY] And that's the part
of the dream where I realize
everyone's watching.
This dream, and others like it,
do you ever share
them with other people?
No, never. Just my diary.
Hmm.
What are you always writing
in that notepad of yours?
Notes, observations.
Thoughts to myself,
kind of like a diary.
Tell me, Betty.
Where do you think this urge comes from?
The urge to be seen in
such a sexualized way.
Well, it must titillate you,
make it more exciting for you.
I don't think it's just
about being seen sexually.
I think it might be more
about being seen period.
In what respect?
Being seen as a person.
With autonomy, and desire
and self-determination.
Go on.
I'm wondering if my
interest in understanding sex
is really more about
understanding myself.
Who I am.
I mean, what better way
to understand a person
than to understand their desires?
Including your own.
- [BELL DINGING]
- [POP] It'll just be a few minutes.
Thanks, Pop.
Hey, Holden Caulfield.
Have you ever heard of a
movie called The Crawling Eye?
Yeah. It came out a couple years ago.
Uh, the story was kind of a
mess, but the monster was cool.
I loved it. [CHUCKLES]
Mr. Rayberry loved it too.
Why Why do you ask?
Because after calling every minor
independent studio in La La Land,
it's the only movie I can get my
hands on to play at the Babylonium.
Why don't you just do
what William Castle did?
The name dimly rings a bell.
He's a producer-director.
His movies are just okay,
but they all came
with a kind of gimmick.
Like for The Tingler,
filmed in Percepto,
he put a bunch of buzzers
under the audience's seats
and when the monster, the
Tingler, appeared on screen,
he would buzz the people and give
them an electric shock. [CHUCKLES]
That sounds dangerous.
It was just a mild shock, but it worked.
People went nuts for The Tingler.
[CHUCKLES SOFTLY]
I get it.
Sell the gimmick, not the movie.
I can do that.
[ALICE] Oh, good. She's home.
Hello, dear. So glad you're home.
What's going on?
You remember Reverend Lowe
from Riverdale First
Reformed Presbyterian Church?
My, how you've grown since the
children's choir, Elizabeth.
[CHUCKLES]
He's going to hear your confession
and perform an exorcism
if need be. Right?
[CHUCKLES]
Confe [CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY]
Confession. Why would I need to confess?
What are you doing
with my diaries? Uh
Did you read them?
Elizabeth, I had to.
They were prescribed to me.
By Dr. Werthers?
I would rather not say.
You You broke into my
room and stole my diaries
because my psychiatrist told you to?
Good grief, Mother!
I suspected you and Dr.
Psycho were talking about me,
but breaking and entering?
If you are so hot to trot
to talk with Dr. Werthers,
why don't you come to therapy
with me? It might help you.
[SCOFFS] I am an adult
woman. I don't need therapy.
[SCOFFS]
Elizabeth. Elizabeth.
Breaking and entering.
What do you write down
in that notepad of yours?
Breaking and entering.
[DOOR CLOSES]
Okay. Dr. Werthers.
Let's see what you've
been writing about me.
Come on.
This always works in
the Tracy True books.
Gosh. You're an even
bigger bookworm than I am.
Pop says you've been glued
to this booth for two days,
getting ink on your nose.
Uh, yeah, you might say, I'm, um
spending time with a friend
before saying goodbye.
Oh, well, sorry to interrupt, but
have you heard of this book, Lolita?
Holy moly.
Where did you get this?
[CLICKS TONGUE] I
borrowed it from a friend.
What can you tell me about it?
Well, it's Nabokov's latest novel.
It's pretty salacious,
according to the Paris Review.
It's about a relationship
between a professor
named Humbert Humbert
and a young girl named Dolores Haze.
- How young?
- Twelve.
Twelve?
So it's a book for perverts?
Well
passing moral judgment on a
work of art is a slippery slope.
Have you read it yet?
That's what I'm about to
go do. Thank you, Jughead.
- Hey, Pop, can I get another one, please?
- Coming right up.
[EXHALES]
[MAN ON SCREEN] No one is safe
from its spell of destruction.
A cold, hypnotic stare striking
fear into the hearts of all,
creating a frenzied nightmare
for those who behold it.
And that, ladies and germs,
is the terrifying,
titillating new feature film,
The Crawling Eye, playing at
the Babylonium, one week only.
Not that I care to see such dreck,
but didn't that movie
come out a few years ago?
Perhaps, but this is a
re-release in stunning 4D.
Mmm, don't you mean 3D?
Oh, no. 3D is so 1952.
This is 4D, Cheryl,
a new fourth dimension of terror.
Time is the fourth dimension.
Do you mean time?
Shut up, Dilton.
4D is a novel, visceral experience,
unlike anything you've ever encountered
at the movies before. Guaranteed.
My associates are handing
out little novelty reminders,
which are redeemable
at the candy counter,
for buy-one-get-one-free Milk Buds.
[ROCK MUSIC PLAYING]
Now, remember, boys. After
you completely cover your balls
with a layer of newspaper,
let them dry before
applying the next one.
I'll handle the paint job
when I get back from casting.
When the record starts to boop ♪
And your body starts to move ♪
Shake around, girl ♪
[ALL CHATTERING INDISTINCTLY]
And the cats all start to stew
when they see my baby do ♪
Just the two strapping he-men
I've been looking for all my life.
Hope you can make it to
The Crawling Eyetonight.
Not as audience members,
mind you, but as performers.
As part of my
revolutionary 4D experience.
- Veronica, we're not actors.
- What would we have to do?
Yeah, what exactly?
Not much.
All told, it would probably
be about two minutes of work,
for which you'd be handsomely
compensated, of course.
[ROCK MUSIC CONTINUES]
When you get up on that feeling like
you're rocking and you're reeling ♪
Shake around, girl ♪
Oh, Miss Cooper.
You haven't forgotten about our
standing appointment, have you?
No, I didn't.
But I won't be attending
our session today.
Instead, I have some very
interesting reading to finish tonight.
But don't worry, Doctor.
I'm sure tomorrow we will
have plenty to discuss.
Move little baby ♪
Can you kick around little baby ♪
You gotta slow it down ♪
Little baby ♪
'Cause when the record starts
a-groovin' let your body start ♪
Cheryl. So glad you could make it.
Before the movie, you may want to
take out a life insurance policy.
You know, in case you die of fright.
Pathetic.
Otherwise we have a nurse on
duty, should you merely faint.
[SHAKER RATTLES]
I am extremely
disappointed in you, Midge.
Now, let's see what this 4D you've
been ballyhooing is all about.
And believe me, if it disappoints,
I will be demanding a refund, again.
And when the record starts a-groovin' ♪
Let your body start a-movin' ♪
Shake around, girl ♪
[ENTHRALLING MUSIC PLAYING ON SCREEN]
[MAN 1 ON SCREEN] If that
cloud starts to move this way
before I get back, take the
car up. Do you understand?
- [MAN 2] What about you?
- [MAN 1] Do as you're told.
[EERIE MUSIC PLAYING]
[WHISPERING INDISTINCTLY]
[GIRL CHUCKLES]
[WOMAN CRYING ON SCREEN]
[EERIE MUSIC PLAYING]
[DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING]
[MAN ON SCREEN] Steady. Steady.
To your right.
Visual on. Steady.
Bombs away!
[EERIE MUSIC CONTINUES]
[AUDIENCE SCREAMING]
["FLYING SAUCER ROCK & ROLL" PLAYING]
[ALL SCREAMING AND CLAMORING]
Well, I came out of hidin' ♪
And I started to rock ♪
[CHERYL SCREAMS AND CHUCKLES]
Little green men taught
me how to do the bop ♪
They were three-foot-high ♪
They hit a few bars ♪
Rocked around the Moon ♪
All the way from Mars ♪
[GIRL LAUGHS]
Flying saucer rock n' roll ♪
I couldn't understand a thing they said ♪
[AUDIENCE APPLAUDING]
[AUDIENCE CLAMORING]
You care to explain
this novel, Dr. Werthers,
which I found in your desk?
Breaking into my office,
stealing my property.
So you admit it's yours?
Of course it's mine.
By reading about Lolita's mind,
I was hoping to better
understand yours, Betty.
You're comparing me
to Lolita.
Well, she, too, is a
sex-crazed young woman.
Dolores Haze is a 12-year-old
girl, and she is not sex-crazed.
She is being coerced against
her will, much like I am, Doctor.
So let me tell you what I
learned from reading Lolita.
You are a kissing cousin to
Humbert Humbert, only creepier.
And it is completely
inappropriate for you
to be asking me all these questions
about my sexual fantasies and
experiences behind closed doors.
Manipulating our conversation,
feverishly writing down
every word that I say.
Doing God knows what with that
notebook of yours at night.
You think I'm obsessed with sex?
I think you're the one who's
obsessed with sex, Doctor.
Dangerously so.
And I don't think you're
reading Lolitafor research.
I think you're reading it for
pleasure and some sick gratification,
and I no longer feel comfortable
being alone in a room with you.
[ALL CHATTERING INDISTINCTLY]
Excuse me.
Guess word got out, huh?
I'll say. Our seven o'clock
show is already sold out.
Well, boys, we've got a
genuine hit on our hands.
Ready to play to a full house tonight?
That's what we wanted to talk about.
Veronica, we did this as a
personal favor to you, and
We were happy to, once. [CHUCKLES]
But this can't be a A regular thing.
I'll say this.
You two sure know when
to ask for a raise.
Because I respect your
moxie and your balls,
I'll pay you $2 per show going forward.
Veronica, we can't do it, okay?
We
have basketball practice. We have games.
Seems to me like you're playing
hardball, not basketball.
But here's the thing.
You're not the stars.
Those eyeballs are the stars.
You want to squeeze
me, I'm not interested.
I'll get Kevin and Clay to do the gag.
You can leave your balls with them.
[VERONICA SIGHS]
Yes, Reginald?
I was thinking
Maybe after tonight's show,
we can try that date again?
I would, but
did you see that crowd out there?
I have to get on the phone with Variety
and whip this buzz into a story.
The Crawling Eyeis going to change
everything for the Babylonium.
Yeah.
But I'll tell you what.
Come by tomorrow, and we'll see.
Okay.
Well, I think I've heard
just about everything now.
Just got off the phone
with Dr. Werthers,
and he wants to end
his sessions with you.
Great. The feeling's mutual.
To which I told him, under no
circumstances is he to give up on you.
Mom Why?
Because he's going to fix you.
Whatever Whatever is wrong with you,
he is going to help me fix it.
There is nothing wrong with me.
I wish you would stop trying
to convince me otherwise.
- Who are you calling?
- Dr. Werthers. I'm calling him back.
Put the phone down.
If you want to help me, then talk
to me. Really, just talk to me.
Stop playing this stupid game
of telephone with Dr. Werthers.
Fine.
What would you like to
talk about, young lady?
Everything.
Starting with how
unhappy I think you are.
Unhappy? Me?
You must be.
[SCOFFS]
You don't know what you're
talking about, young lady.
No, you're right. I don't,
so please enlighten me.
Tell me why you'd rather foist
me off to some quack psychiatrist
than just be honest with
me, your own daughter.
What happened?
Things didn't always used
to be so fraught between us.
Something must have happened.
If this is what you're getting
out of the Dr. Werthers sessions,
then maybe you're right.
We should end them.
You once told me that
you were afraid for me.
Afraid of what the world might do to me.
But why does it seem
like you're afraid of me?
- Oh, Betty.
- Please
Just talk to me, Mom.
I'm I'm right here.
- I
- [HAL] What is going on here?
[SIGHS] Mom and I are
having a conversation, Dad.
- Can you please leave us?
- Leave?
This is my house.
And I heard the conversation you
were having, Betty. Enough of it.
This woman
This woman
is the most wonderful wife
and mother in the world.
And the way that you've been
acting, you don't deserve her.
- Dad.
- [HAL] Just go to your room.
And do me a favor and stay there.
And you think about what you've
put your poor mother through.
- What I've put her through?
- [HAL] Yes.
When all she's done
is sacrifice for you.
How?
Somebody, please tell me how.
You know what? Just go to
your room, young lady. Now.
[DOOR SLAMS]
Mom.
Good morning, Elizabeth.
[SIGHS]
Mom
I want us to figure out a path forward.
But it is not Dr. Werthers.
No. It's not.
[CLICKS TONGUE] I relieved Dr.
Werthers of his duties this morning.
- [SIGHS]
- And mercifully,
he's decided to not
press charges against you
for breaking into his office.
That's good.
Everything that I have been
trying to do my entire life,
sacrificing for you,
protecting you, trying to help you
[SIGHS] It's obvious. You don't want it.
So I'm stopping.
You have all the answers.
You know everything.
Seems to me that you don't
need a mother anymore.
Marvelous.
You don't have one.
What are you saying?
I am not your mother anymore.
And you can make your
own damn breakfast.
You sure she knows I'm
here? It's been half an hour.
Yeah, phone's been ringing
off the hook all day.
I'm sure she'll be down soon.
[PETER] I was surprised and pleased
to read about your recent box
office success in the trades.
I didn't even know there
was such a thing as 4D.
Yes, well, that's the kind of business
the Babylonium is doing these days.
So I was curious
if you might want to
reconsider your decision
not to let us screen
any of your new releases.
[PETER] Oh, I am sure we
can work something out.
You know, I've always
been a fan of Riverdale.
Great town, superb audiences.
It's like no place else, Mr. Roth.
So we'll be getting that
print of East of Eden
for the weekend, I take it?
It's already heading your way.
Fab.
Looking forward to a long,
fruitful collaboration, Peter.
Can I call you Peter?
All right, Reginald.
Sorry to have kept you
waiting.
- Where's Reggie?
- He got tired of waiting.
He left those for you, though.
[CLEARS THROAT]
Smithers,
there seems to be something
wrong with my lock.
I'm afraid, Miss Veronica, that
the locks have been changed.
Your parents no longer
feel that you need
or deserve their financial support
now that you're such a roaring success.
As soon as you have a new address,
I'm to move your belongings.
An eye for a crawling eye.
As for my address, I already
know where I'll be staying.
In the short term, at least.
[ELEVATOR DINGS]
[SIGHS]
["START AT THE BOTTOM" PLAYING]
You've got to start at the bottom ♪
If you're ever gonna reach the top ♪
You've got to watch
all the seeds you sowed ♪
Don't let 'em go to pot ♪
You've got to live
by the golden rule ♪
Live what they teach
in the Sunday school ♪
Start at the bottom ♪
If you're ever gonna reach the top ♪
When Jacob climbed his ladder ♪
He started at the bottom ♪
[SONG CONTINUES FAINTLY ON JUKEBOX]
What can I get you this round, Jughead?
Chocolate, vanilla, strawberry?
[SIGHS]
I think just the check, Pop.
I've been re-reading all
of Mr. Rayberry's work
and I've noticed some recurring themes.
Time passes,
seasons change,
life moves on, you know?
I I don't know if I'm
done mourning, but I
I think I'm done wallowing.
I think I'm ready to move on.
I think he'd want me to move on.
I'm glad to hear it.
[SIREN WAILING IN DISTANCE]
[BELL DINGING]
Jughead, we're still working
the Rayberry suicide case.
We need your help if
we're gonna solve it.
[JUGHEAD] So much for moving on.
["AIN'T THAT A SHAME" PLAYING]
[JUGHEAD] Grief is a terrible thing.
When you've suffered a loss as I have,
the death of my mentor and
literary idol, Brad Rayberry,
time falls into a slow, sad rhythm.
And a moment feels like an eternity.
- [MUSIC SLOWS DOWN]
- Even as the rest of the world
- continues to tick on.
- [CLOCK TICKING]
[DR. WERTHERS] You will no
longer be in the River Vixens.
Your mother and I believe
that it's too sexualized
an environment for you.
High school in general is a
highly sexualized environment.
Wouldn't you say?
Is that how you see it?
A bunch of horny teenagers
trapped together like sardines
for hours upon hours?
How do you see it?
As an academic institution meant
to provide a safe environment
where students can challenge
themselves intellectually
without being morally and
physically compromised.
Oh, well, you obviously haven't
spent a lot of time in gym class.
You are here, Betty,
because you stripped
in front of your window
for your next-door
neighbor's pleasurement.
And then you flashed your Your
underpants on live television.
In short, you seem unhealthily
obsessed with sexuality.
Now, the words that come to mind are
"nymphomaniac," "exhibitionist,"
"sexual compulsive."
What exactly do you want to
talk to me about, Dr. Werthers?
Well, given your recent
behavior, I'm curious.
What is your first sexual memory?
- [BUZZES]
- [SIGHS]
[SIGHS]
I'm not sure that I remember.
Uh, in that case, um
How often, Betty, would you
say that you think about sex?
["LOLLIPOP" PLAYING]
Lollipop, lollipop ♪
Oh, lolli-lolli-lolli ♪
Lollipop, lollipop ♪
Oh, lolli-lolli-lolli ♪
Lollipop, lollipop ♪
Oh, lolli-lolli-lolli Lollipop ♪
[POP SOUND PLAYS]
Boom-boom, boom, boom ♪
Lollipop, lollipop ♪
Oh, lolli-lolli-lolli ♪
Lollipop, lollipop ♪
Oh, lolli-lolli-lolli ♪
Lollipop, lollipop ♪
Oh, lolli-lolli-lolli Lollipop ♪
[POP SOUND PLAYS]
Boom-boom, boom, boom ♪
Call my baby lollipop ♪
Tell you why ♪
His kiss is sweeter ♪
Than an apple pie ♪
And when he does his
shaky rockin' dance ♪
Man, I haven't got a chance ♪
I call him ♪
Lollipop, lollipop ♪
Oh, lolli-lolli-lolli ♪
Lollipop, lollipop ♪
Oh, lolli-lolli-lolli ♪
Lollipop, lollipop ♪
Oh, lolli-lolli-lolli Lollipop ♪
[POP SOUND PLAYS]
Sweeter than candy on a stick ♪
Huckleberry, cherry or lime ♪
If you had a choice ♪
He'd be your pick ♪
But lollipop is mine ♪
Lollipop, lollipop ♪
Oh, lolli-lolli-lolli ♪
Lollipop, lollipop ♪
Oh, lolli-lolli-lolli ♪
Lollipop, lollipop ♪
Oh, lolli-lolli-lolli Lollipop ♪
[POP SOUND PLAYS]
[DR. WERTHERS] Betty. Betty.
[RECORD SCRATCHES]
How often do you think about sex?
I would say an average amount.
I need a number, Betty.
Well, according to Dr. Kingsley,
teenagers think about
sex every seven seconds.
That number is for teenage boys.
There is a very different
barometer for teenage girls.
Well, in that case, I would
say I think about sex
all the time.
What did you just write down?
Never mind that.
Why do you think you think
about sex all the time?
I'm curious about how it feels.
I don't think that waiting until
I'm married to have sex makes sense.
What about having sex for pleasure?
Betty, sex is for married people
so they can start families.
So then, what about the girlie magazines
that my dad keeps hidden
in his sock drawer?
Uh, I'm sorry?
Well, I remember last year,
we were going to church.
My dad asked me to fetch
him his cuff links and
when I went to look for
them in his sock drawer,
I found all of these
girlie magazines.
Your father is not in therapy. You are.
Well, maybe he should be.
He's a grown man.
I'm a child psychiatrist.
I am not a child, either.
Though, actually, I do think that
our conversations are starting to
make me see things more clearly.
[SPUTTERS] In what particular way?
Well, I'm just now realizing that
I don't think I want to get married.
At least not anytime soon. Maybe never.
I want to make an impact
on the world instead of
Or in addition to
just having a family.
[POP MUSIC PLAYING ON STEREO]
- Puppy love, that's what they say ♪
- [KNOCKING AT DOOR]
Knock, knock.
Hi, sweetheart.
I got you something fun.
[CHUCKLES] What are those for?
I was in the grocery store
and I just thought the
pictures were so pretty.
I had to get you a few of them.
Mom, I'm not even dating anyone.
Oh, it doesn't matter.
A girl can daydream about
her wedding, can't she?
Why are you bringing this up right now?
[CLICKS TONGUE] Oh, Elizabeth,
I just know,
when I see you in that white
dress, standing at that altar
[SIGHS]
It's gonna be the
happiest day of my life.
[DOOR BELL DINGS]
[VERONICA] Tickets.
Get your tickets to the Babylonium's
James Dean double feature.
[ROCK MUSIC PLAYING]
What's all this about James Dean?
As president of his fan club, I,
along with my fellow Dean-izens,
have been waiting for East of Edento
reach our little hamlet for months now.
Well, you're just in luck,
because we have, in our
possession, a print of East of Eden.
And why, pray tell, should
I go to the Babylonium
when the screen at the Orpheum, in
nearby Greendale, is much larger,
as befits the stature
of my beloved Jimmy Dean?
Is the Orpheum giving you and
your Dean-izens free passes?
On the condition that you spread
the good word about the Babylonium?
We want a robust crowd
to honor Jimmy's memory.
On the sacred ground
of James Dean's grave,
I will deliver my fan club,
the Vixens and the Bulldogs.
Excellent.
But don't worry about the Bulldogs.
I'm extending that
invitation myself, personally.
Batten down the hatches, boys,
because the Babylonium is going
to do boffo business this weekend..
I can feel it.
But why are we giving
out tickets for free?
I'll let you in on the dirty secret
about the movie theater business, Kevin.
We make most of our money
from popcorn and soda sales.
And, uh, what was all that
about inviting the Bulldogs?
They're our hometown heroes.
Of course they have to be there.
All the Bulldogs or
just one in particular?
[CLEARS THROAT]
[BULLDOGS CHEERING]
[FOGARTY] Oh, check it out, Bulldogs.
[BULLDOG PLAYER] Oh, look at this.
If it isn't Miss Twinkle Town herself.
It's Tinseltown.
As a fan of the Bulldogs, I wanted
to personally offer you free passes
to our James Dean double
feature at the Babylonium.
Comp tickets are in your lockers.
And you, Reginald?
Shall I save you a seat beside me?
I mean, surely you know what Jimmy Dean
used to do in high school, I hope.
What's that?
He was a basketball star, Reggie.
Just like you.
["IT HAPPENED" PLAYING]
It happened ♪
[CHATTERING INDISTINCTLY]
[VERONICA] Here you are.
That'll be 25 cents.
Okay.
Or you could treat me to
a milkshake after the show.
You just keep on shooting, don't you?
You keep passing me the ball.
Okay, sure. Let's do it.
Take it.
- Meet you back here?
- All right.
Now get in there before you
miss the coming attractions.
- [CASH REGISTER DINGS]
- Veronica?
Kevin.
Guess who's got a date with Reggie
Mantle tonight after the show?
That's swell, but Clay's got a
situation in the projection booth.
I don't know what happened,
but the print we received
from the studio
We can't play it.
What? Why?
It's been overexposed.
How many reels are like this?
That's the thing, all of them.
We've got a sold-out house.
[CHATTERING INDISTINCTLY]
Welcome to the Babylonium.
[ALL CHEERING]
We're so excited to have
you all here tonight.
So quit bashing our ears
and play the damn movie!
[ALL] Yeah!
Due to some unforeseen
technical difficulties,
I regret to inform you
we are unable to screen
our James Dean double feature tonight.
- [CROWD BOOING]
- I knew it.
However
However, we are working on the problem
and are rescheduling
said double feature
That's all very well and good,
but we, the proud members of the
James Dean Fan Club Riverdale Chapter,
demand a refund immediately.
[AUDIENCE CHANTING] Refund! Refund!
Refund?
You all got free passes,
including you, Cheryl.
True, but we did spend all
this money on popcorn and soda
to consume during the double
feature which is no longer happening.
[AUDIENCE CLAMORING]
I would be more than happy to
provide each and every one of you
with a voucher for any
snack of your choosing
We don't want your stupid vouchers.
We want our money back.
- [ALL] Yeah!
- [CHERYL] What a fakeout!
It's like Jimmy Dean
died all over again!
All right, all right, all
right, all right, all right.
Calm down. Calm down.
You can present your receipts
at the concession
stands for a full refund.
Yeah, right!
Hey!
[MAN EXHALES]
Reggie.
I'm so sorry.
As much as I'd be delighted to
split a milkshake with you
You've got a business to take care of.
I do.
The Babylonium's hanging on by
the most gossamer of threads.
I figured as much.
I'd happily take a rain check.
Yeah? Sure.
Yeah, just let me know
when's a good time for you.
Okay.
I've never heard of
such a thing, Mr. Roth.
A venerated studio like yours,
sending out unplayable prints
of a major release like East of Eden?
[PETER ON PHONE] I'm as
baffled as you, Miss Lodge.
At any rate, please accept our
deepest apologies for this mishap.
I'll accept your apology,
but what I really want is a
pristine copy of East of Eden.
And what I want is audiences in
Riverdale to see this picture.
I do. It's a wonderful picture.
But I'm afraid that there
are no more available prints.
You sent me a defective
product. How is this my problem?
Miss Lodge.
Veronica. May I call you Veronica?
You're the theater owner.
It's always your problem.
You'd know that if you weren't so green.
Green?
Let me assure you
I'm so sorry, but I need to let you go.
I'm having lunch at the
Polo Lounge with Monty Clift,
but good luck to you.
How does a major studio
run out of prints of their
biggest release of the year?
I don't know.
But luckily, they're not
the only studio in town.
- It's time to work the phones, boys.
- [PHONE RINGING]
I have Pasadena Pictures.
Nikki? Veronica Lodge.
No, Nikki, I'm in exhibition these days.
The Babylonium in Riverdale.
Listen, my customers simply don't
have time for that Steinbeck yawner.
I need something
exciting, something fresh.
Do you have any available
prints of To Catch a Thief?
I'm hearing great things
about Hitchcock's latest.
Word around town is that
Oklahoma! is a masterpiece.
What about this Night of the
Hunter I keep reading about?
It's RKO.
[MAN 1] Be that as
it may be, Miss Lodge,
we've already booked our
picture at the Orpheum.
Unfortunately, Riverdale isn't a market
we're interested in cultivating.
It's Silver Shield Studios.
[MAN 2] I'm sorry, but
we're being very particular
about how we're distributing
musicals this year.
It's Superior.
[MAN 3] Furthermore, all
of our current releases
demand larger theaters.
Please, don't call us again.
But, sir, you used to send us your
movies every week. What changed?
I don't do business with
underage would-be impresarios.
Especially not when I'm trying to
get into business with their parents.
But good luck to you,
Miss Lodge. You'll need it.
[DIAL TONE SOUNDING]
[SIGHS] Well, there you have it, boys.
I and the Babylonium
have been blacklisted
by every major studio in Hollywood.
Why, though?
[SIGHS] If I had to hazard a guess,
my parents.
I've been waiting for
this penny loafer to drop
since I bought the theater
out from under them.
My last call confirmed it, but honestly,
I suspected sabotage from the
moment we got that bad print.
What do your parents want?
To see everyone but themselves fail,
including their own daughter.
I'm sure they want the
Babylonium to shutter
so they can buy it from me at a discount
and turn it into a parking lot.
I have an idea.
So far, we've only
tried the major studios.
But there are a lot of smaller,
independent places out there.
They're scrappy, and they
don't play by the same rules.
Their movies don't have big
stars or budgets or prestige.
In other words,
they're B movies, but
they're still movies.
Good idea, Clay.
Boys, if we're going down,
we're going down fighting.
[SNAPS FINGERS]
Get me one of those smaller studios.
Tell me, Betty, do you
ever remember your dreams?
Sometimes.
Are your dreams sexual?
Sometimes.
Well then, tell me, Betty
What is your most vivid
or frequent sexual dream?
[BETTY] I guess it's the one
where I'm in biology class, only
I'm the teacher, tutoring
one of my students.
[DR. WERTHERS] Which student?
[BETTY] It varies.
["CAPTURED" PLAYING]
Captured in a moonlight
that blinds you ♪
And a magic that binds me ♪
In a world ♪
[DR. WERTHERS] Yes, but most often?
[BETTY] It's Archie.
[DR. WERTHERS] And what
occurs in this dream?
A music strange to me ♪
Beats its thunder ♪
Through and through ♪
Is it love? ♪
This wondrous change in me ♪
This enchanted dream come true ♪
Captured In this spell ♪
[BETTY] And that's the part
of the dream where I realize
everyone's watching.
This dream, and others like it,
do you ever share
them with other people?
No, never. Just my diary.
Hmm.
What are you always writing
in that notepad of yours?
Notes, observations.
Thoughts to myself,
kind of like a diary.
Tell me, Betty.
Where do you think this urge comes from?
The urge to be seen in
such a sexualized way.
Well, it must titillate you,
make it more exciting for you.
I don't think it's just
about being seen sexually.
I think it might be more
about being seen period.
In what respect?
Being seen as a person.
With autonomy, and desire
and self-determination.
Go on.
I'm wondering if my
interest in understanding sex
is really more about
understanding myself.
Who I am.
I mean, what better way
to understand a person
than to understand their desires?
Including your own.
- [BELL DINGING]
- [POP] It'll just be a few minutes.
Thanks, Pop.
Hey, Holden Caulfield.
Have you ever heard of a
movie called The Crawling Eye?
Yeah. It came out a couple years ago.
Uh, the story was kind of a
mess, but the monster was cool.
I loved it. [CHUCKLES]
Mr. Rayberry loved it too.
Why Why do you ask?
Because after calling every minor
independent studio in La La Land,
it's the only movie I can get my
hands on to play at the Babylonium.
Why don't you just do
what William Castle did?
The name dimly rings a bell.
He's a producer-director.
His movies are just okay,
but they all came
with a kind of gimmick.
Like for The Tingler,
filmed in Percepto,
he put a bunch of buzzers
under the audience's seats
and when the monster, the
Tingler, appeared on screen,
he would buzz the people and give
them an electric shock. [CHUCKLES]
That sounds dangerous.
It was just a mild shock, but it worked.
People went nuts for The Tingler.
[CHUCKLES SOFTLY]
I get it.
Sell the gimmick, not the movie.
I can do that.
[ALICE] Oh, good. She's home.
Hello, dear. So glad you're home.
What's going on?
You remember Reverend Lowe
from Riverdale First
Reformed Presbyterian Church?
My, how you've grown since the
children's choir, Elizabeth.
[CHUCKLES]
He's going to hear your confession
and perform an exorcism
if need be. Right?
[CHUCKLES]
Confe [CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY]
Confession. Why would I need to confess?
What are you doing
with my diaries? Uh
Did you read them?
Elizabeth, I had to.
They were prescribed to me.
By Dr. Werthers?
I would rather not say.
You You broke into my
room and stole my diaries
because my psychiatrist told you to?
Good grief, Mother!
I suspected you and Dr.
Psycho were talking about me,
but breaking and entering?
If you are so hot to trot
to talk with Dr. Werthers,
why don't you come to therapy
with me? It might help you.
[SCOFFS] I am an adult
woman. I don't need therapy.
[SCOFFS]
Elizabeth. Elizabeth.
Breaking and entering.
What do you write down
in that notepad of yours?
Breaking and entering.
[DOOR CLOSES]
Okay. Dr. Werthers.
Let's see what you've
been writing about me.
Come on.
This always works in
the Tracy True books.
Gosh. You're an even
bigger bookworm than I am.
Pop says you've been glued
to this booth for two days,
getting ink on your nose.
Uh, yeah, you might say, I'm, um
spending time with a friend
before saying goodbye.
Oh, well, sorry to interrupt, but
have you heard of this book, Lolita?
Holy moly.
Where did you get this?
[CLICKS TONGUE] I
borrowed it from a friend.
What can you tell me about it?
Well, it's Nabokov's latest novel.
It's pretty salacious,
according to the Paris Review.
It's about a relationship
between a professor
named Humbert Humbert
and a young girl named Dolores Haze.
- How young?
- Twelve.
Twelve?
So it's a book for perverts?
Well
passing moral judgment on a
work of art is a slippery slope.
Have you read it yet?
That's what I'm about to
go do. Thank you, Jughead.
- Hey, Pop, can I get another one, please?
- Coming right up.
[EXHALES]
[MAN ON SCREEN] No one is safe
from its spell of destruction.
A cold, hypnotic stare striking
fear into the hearts of all,
creating a frenzied nightmare
for those who behold it.
And that, ladies and germs,
is the terrifying,
titillating new feature film,
The Crawling Eye, playing at
the Babylonium, one week only.
Not that I care to see such dreck,
but didn't that movie
come out a few years ago?
Perhaps, but this is a
re-release in stunning 4D.
Mmm, don't you mean 3D?
Oh, no. 3D is so 1952.
This is 4D, Cheryl,
a new fourth dimension of terror.
Time is the fourth dimension.
Do you mean time?
Shut up, Dilton.
4D is a novel, visceral experience,
unlike anything you've ever encountered
at the movies before. Guaranteed.
My associates are handing
out little novelty reminders,
which are redeemable
at the candy counter,
for buy-one-get-one-free Milk Buds.
[ROCK MUSIC PLAYING]
Now, remember, boys. After
you completely cover your balls
with a layer of newspaper,
let them dry before
applying the next one.
I'll handle the paint job
when I get back from casting.
When the record starts to boop ♪
And your body starts to move ♪
Shake around, girl ♪
[ALL CHATTERING INDISTINCTLY]
And the cats all start to stew
when they see my baby do ♪
Just the two strapping he-men
I've been looking for all my life.
Hope you can make it to
The Crawling Eyetonight.
Not as audience members,
mind you, but as performers.
As part of my
revolutionary 4D experience.
- Veronica, we're not actors.
- What would we have to do?
Yeah, what exactly?
Not much.
All told, it would probably
be about two minutes of work,
for which you'd be handsomely
compensated, of course.
[ROCK MUSIC CONTINUES]
When you get up on that feeling like
you're rocking and you're reeling ♪
Shake around, girl ♪
Oh, Miss Cooper.
You haven't forgotten about our
standing appointment, have you?
No, I didn't.
But I won't be attending
our session today.
Instead, I have some very
interesting reading to finish tonight.
But don't worry, Doctor.
I'm sure tomorrow we will
have plenty to discuss.
Move little baby ♪
Can you kick around little baby ♪
You gotta slow it down ♪
Little baby ♪
'Cause when the record starts
a-groovin' let your body start ♪
Cheryl. So glad you could make it.
Before the movie, you may want to
take out a life insurance policy.
You know, in case you die of fright.
Pathetic.
Otherwise we have a nurse on
duty, should you merely faint.
[SHAKER RATTLES]
I am extremely
disappointed in you, Midge.
Now, let's see what this 4D you've
been ballyhooing is all about.
And believe me, if it disappoints,
I will be demanding a refund, again.
And when the record starts a-groovin' ♪
Let your body start a-movin' ♪
Shake around, girl ♪
[ENTHRALLING MUSIC PLAYING ON SCREEN]
[MAN 1 ON SCREEN] If that
cloud starts to move this way
before I get back, take the
car up. Do you understand?
- [MAN 2] What about you?
- [MAN 1] Do as you're told.
[EERIE MUSIC PLAYING]
[WHISPERING INDISTINCTLY]
[GIRL CHUCKLES]
[WOMAN CRYING ON SCREEN]
[EERIE MUSIC PLAYING]
[DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING]
[MAN ON SCREEN] Steady. Steady.
To your right.
Visual on. Steady.
Bombs away!
[EERIE MUSIC CONTINUES]
[AUDIENCE SCREAMING]
["FLYING SAUCER ROCK & ROLL" PLAYING]
[ALL SCREAMING AND CLAMORING]
Well, I came out of hidin' ♪
And I started to rock ♪
[CHERYL SCREAMS AND CHUCKLES]
Little green men taught
me how to do the bop ♪
They were three-foot-high ♪
They hit a few bars ♪
Rocked around the Moon ♪
All the way from Mars ♪
[GIRL LAUGHS]
Flying saucer rock n' roll ♪
I couldn't understand a thing they said ♪
[AUDIENCE APPLAUDING]
[AUDIENCE CLAMORING]
You care to explain
this novel, Dr. Werthers,
which I found in your desk?
Breaking into my office,
stealing my property.
So you admit it's yours?
Of course it's mine.
By reading about Lolita's mind,
I was hoping to better
understand yours, Betty.
You're comparing me
to Lolita.
Well, she, too, is a
sex-crazed young woman.
Dolores Haze is a 12-year-old
girl, and she is not sex-crazed.
She is being coerced against
her will, much like I am, Doctor.
So let me tell you what I
learned from reading Lolita.
You are a kissing cousin to
Humbert Humbert, only creepier.
And it is completely
inappropriate for you
to be asking me all these questions
about my sexual fantasies and
experiences behind closed doors.
Manipulating our conversation,
feverishly writing down
every word that I say.
Doing God knows what with that
notebook of yours at night.
You think I'm obsessed with sex?
I think you're the one who's
obsessed with sex, Doctor.
Dangerously so.
And I don't think you're
reading Lolitafor research.
I think you're reading it for
pleasure and some sick gratification,
and I no longer feel comfortable
being alone in a room with you.
[ALL CHATTERING INDISTINCTLY]
Excuse me.
Guess word got out, huh?
I'll say. Our seven o'clock
show is already sold out.
Well, boys, we've got a
genuine hit on our hands.
Ready to play to a full house tonight?
That's what we wanted to talk about.
Veronica, we did this as a
personal favor to you, and
We were happy to, once. [CHUCKLES]
But this can't be a A regular thing.
I'll say this.
You two sure know when
to ask for a raise.
Because I respect your
moxie and your balls,
I'll pay you $2 per show going forward.
Veronica, we can't do it, okay?
We
have basketball practice. We have games.
Seems to me like you're playing
hardball, not basketball.
But here's the thing.
You're not the stars.
Those eyeballs are the stars.
You want to squeeze
me, I'm not interested.
I'll get Kevin and Clay to do the gag.
You can leave your balls with them.
[VERONICA SIGHS]
Yes, Reginald?
I was thinking
Maybe after tonight's show,
we can try that date again?
I would, but
did you see that crowd out there?
I have to get on the phone with Variety
and whip this buzz into a story.
The Crawling Eyeis going to change
everything for the Babylonium.
Yeah.
But I'll tell you what.
Come by tomorrow, and we'll see.
Okay.
Well, I think I've heard
just about everything now.
Just got off the phone
with Dr. Werthers,
and he wants to end
his sessions with you.
Great. The feeling's mutual.
To which I told him, under no
circumstances is he to give up on you.
Mom Why?
Because he's going to fix you.
Whatever Whatever is wrong with you,
he is going to help me fix it.
There is nothing wrong with me.
I wish you would stop trying
to convince me otherwise.
- Who are you calling?
- Dr. Werthers. I'm calling him back.
Put the phone down.
If you want to help me, then talk
to me. Really, just talk to me.
Stop playing this stupid game
of telephone with Dr. Werthers.
Fine.
What would you like to
talk about, young lady?
Everything.
Starting with how
unhappy I think you are.
Unhappy? Me?
You must be.
[SCOFFS]
You don't know what you're
talking about, young lady.
No, you're right. I don't,
so please enlighten me.
Tell me why you'd rather foist
me off to some quack psychiatrist
than just be honest with
me, your own daughter.
What happened?
Things didn't always used
to be so fraught between us.
Something must have happened.
If this is what you're getting
out of the Dr. Werthers sessions,
then maybe you're right.
We should end them.
You once told me that
you were afraid for me.
Afraid of what the world might do to me.
But why does it seem
like you're afraid of me?
- Oh, Betty.
- Please
Just talk to me, Mom.
I'm I'm right here.
- I
- [HAL] What is going on here?
[SIGHS] Mom and I are
having a conversation, Dad.
- Can you please leave us?
- Leave?
This is my house.
And I heard the conversation you
were having, Betty. Enough of it.
This woman
This woman
is the most wonderful wife
and mother in the world.
And the way that you've been
acting, you don't deserve her.
- Dad.
- [HAL] Just go to your room.
And do me a favor and stay there.
And you think about what you've
put your poor mother through.
- What I've put her through?
- [HAL] Yes.
When all she's done
is sacrifice for you.
How?
Somebody, please tell me how.
You know what? Just go to
your room, young lady. Now.
[DOOR SLAMS]
Mom.
Good morning, Elizabeth.
[SIGHS]
Mom
I want us to figure out a path forward.
But it is not Dr. Werthers.
No. It's not.
[CLICKS TONGUE] I relieved Dr.
Werthers of his duties this morning.
- [SIGHS]
- And mercifully,
he's decided to not
press charges against you
for breaking into his office.
That's good.
Everything that I have been
trying to do my entire life,
sacrificing for you,
protecting you, trying to help you
[SIGHS] It's obvious. You don't want it.
So I'm stopping.
You have all the answers.
You know everything.
Seems to me that you don't
need a mother anymore.
Marvelous.
You don't have one.
What are you saying?
I am not your mother anymore.
And you can make your
own damn breakfast.
You sure she knows I'm
here? It's been half an hour.
Yeah, phone's been ringing
off the hook all day.
I'm sure she'll be down soon.
[PETER] I was surprised and pleased
to read about your recent box
office success in the trades.
I didn't even know there
was such a thing as 4D.
Yes, well, that's the kind of business
the Babylonium is doing these days.
So I was curious
if you might want to
reconsider your decision
not to let us screen
any of your new releases.
[PETER] Oh, I am sure we
can work something out.
You know, I've always
been a fan of Riverdale.
Great town, superb audiences.
It's like no place else, Mr. Roth.
So we'll be getting that
print of East of Eden
for the weekend, I take it?
It's already heading your way.
Fab.
Looking forward to a long,
fruitful collaboration, Peter.
Can I call you Peter?
All right, Reginald.
Sorry to have kept you
waiting.
- Where's Reggie?
- He got tired of waiting.
He left those for you, though.
[CLEARS THROAT]
Smithers,
there seems to be something
wrong with my lock.
I'm afraid, Miss Veronica, that
the locks have been changed.
Your parents no longer
feel that you need
or deserve their financial support
now that you're such a roaring success.
As soon as you have a new address,
I'm to move your belongings.
An eye for a crawling eye.
As for my address, I already
know where I'll be staying.
In the short term, at least.
[ELEVATOR DINGS]
[SIGHS]
["START AT THE BOTTOM" PLAYING]
You've got to start at the bottom ♪
If you're ever gonna reach the top ♪
You've got to watch
all the seeds you sowed ♪
Don't let 'em go to pot ♪
You've got to live
by the golden rule ♪
Live what they teach
in the Sunday school ♪
Start at the bottom ♪
If you're ever gonna reach the top ♪
When Jacob climbed his ladder ♪
He started at the bottom ♪
[SONG CONTINUES FAINTLY ON JUKEBOX]
What can I get you this round, Jughead?
Chocolate, vanilla, strawberry?
[SIGHS]
I think just the check, Pop.
I've been re-reading all
of Mr. Rayberry's work
and I've noticed some recurring themes.
Time passes,
seasons change,
life moves on, you know?
I I don't know if I'm
done mourning, but I
I think I'm done wallowing.
I think I'm ready to move on.
I think he'd want me to move on.
I'm glad to hear it.
[SIREN WAILING IN DISTANCE]
[BELL DINGING]
Jughead, we're still working
the Rayberry suicide case.
We need your help if
we're gonna solve it.
[JUGHEAD] So much for moving on.