Scrapheap Challenge s07e09 Episode Script
Landing Craft
(MACHINE-GUN FIRE) Right! I'm gonna go for it.
Stupid boy! Welcome to Scrapheap Challenge, where this week, our two warring teams of mechanical Montgomerys are going over the top and launching their bids for a place in the final.
LISA: This week, our teams must build a card-carrying landing craft and power it across the water to rescue their experts in a head-to-head duel.
ROBERT: First up, our bunch of bodging bikers from Belfast - Captain Conn, Alastair and Darrell.
Having boisterously boated their way into the semifinal, it's the Hairy Hogs.
LISA: Taking them on are The Thirsty Knights.
Enigmatic engineers Roo, Frog and his brother, Captain Pete, who cleverly outmanoeuvred the opposition despite a bit of a shimmy to propel themselves into the semifinal.
Thirsty Knights! (ALL CHEER) Hairy Hogs! ALL: Yes! Welcome, teams.
Well, you have trounced your opponents to fare this far.
But to win a place in the final, you must build a landing craft big enough to carry a car of your choice across a lake.
And when all three of you have driven aboard, using only your car's engine power to propel your craft, you must race to rescue your experts.
Who will be stranded on a raft.
Ha-ha! And then all of you return to dry land.
Thirsty Knights, are you ready for a titanic struggle? ALL: Yes! Hairy Hogs, are you ready to set sail? ALL: Yes! OK, you have 10 hours from the gong.
Wait for it.
Wait for it.
BOTH: Go! ROBERT: Helping the Knights toward a safe passage is East End boatbuilder Bill Rutland.
Having spent all his working life on boats and barges, he's the right man for a firm hand on the tiller.
Hi, Bill.
Let's go.
LISA: And helping the Hogs stay afloat is a Scrapheap regular, Simeon Oakley, who lives aboard his own boat and designs and builds exhibits for science museums.
Landing craft.
All we got to do is get a vehicle onto a boat, get it across somewhere, take the vehicle off the boat.
Can't be hard, can it? Obviously, we need some kind of flotation For the vehicle, whatever the vehicle is.
Raft.
Boat.
Or a boat.
Some kind of raft, yes.
I don't know what we're looking at, but Pontoons of some description.
We're looking for oil barrels, aren't we, for Oil barrels or Anything that floats.
I mean, oil barrels are great 'cause they're a nice size to handle.
What are we gonna get for propulsion here? Are we looking for a propeller or Main ways I see it is either a propeller or some kind of jet drive.
If we can get our vehicle, get our frame made, get it ready, get a ramp and all made, and then, in between times, we'll sort of think about the propulsion.
Yeah.
'Cause the propulsion's the easy bit.
Maybe for you, yeah.
Not for a sparky.
LISA: Using oil barrels to create the raft, the Hogs plan to find a four-wheel-drive vehicle and split the drive, taking their propulsion system off the rear wheels.
Engaging this drive once afloat will be the team's most difficult task.
Get it right and all will be plain sailing.
Get it wrong and they'll be all at sea.
ROBERT: On a different tack, the Knights have other ideas.
Well, I went for an MOT last week.
I don't know if you've seen.
And you go on the rolling roads.
Rollers.
If we can make something like that, if we can find head drums, any bits of conveyor, anything that we can make a drive thing out of.
Go and see what you can find.
Our paddles are gonna be big things.
They've got to We're gonna have to have 'em centred on the roller, and yet they've got to drive in the water.
So we're gonna have to make sure we're actually gonna reach the water.
OK, well, what we'll look at Once we get our tank, or whatever else we're going to get, we can work out where it's going to flow.
Once we know where it's gonna flow, then we'll get into the design of the paddles themselves.
Something else we've got to think about as well is traction on the rear wheels of the car on the rollers.
Yes, well, we've got option there, depending what you find.
The other thing is, I mean, if we sit two in the back of the car, that'll give us added weight.
That'll be our job, won't it? Yeah.
Well, I could volunteer for that, to be honest.
LISA: Paddle-powering a pontoon via a rolling-road drive system, the Knights will need to find a flotation tank and a light rear-engined vehicle.
Splitting the handbrake cable, they hope to steer by braking each wheel separately, providing drive to one paddle only.
So finding two matching rollers will be crucial.
Talking maybe a foot, 18 inches diameter, something like that, rollers.
OK, we know what we want.
Let's go.
ROBERT: Like latter-day pirates, our teams race to pick the choicest treasure from our heap.
But our teams will need all their nautical nous to navigate this course.
Once they've driven aboard their craft, they must engage their water-based propulsion before racing to rescue their experts, who will be hoping they came up with the right recipe for this scrappy campaign.
Well, I went for an MOT last week.
LISA: The Thirsty Knights' plan is to paddle their way to victory using a rolling road, a ramp and a large flotation tank.
Obviously, we need some kind of flotation.
We're looking at ROBERT: While the Hairy Hogs favour an oil barrel raft with a four-wheel-drive vehicle, but they're not quite sure of the propulsion system yet.
LISA: So it's all hands on deck as both teams trawl the heap in search of the best bits.
Uh, guys, there's a Range Rover here, but it's an auto.
ROBERT: Right off, Darrell finds a rusty wreck of a Range Rover while the Knights have found a potential pontoon and a blue beetle.
I've got the big float, Pete.
That'll do.
Fetch it in.
Right, so that's the raft.
We're doing very well.
OK, so, a landing craft.
Any experience before? No.
None whatsoever.
Quite like the idea of the challenge? Yeah.
Oh, yeah, certainly.
Happy on water? Me and water, we have a special arrangement.
Being called Frog, clearly.
I mean, there is definitely a gag to be made about a frog after a bug.
We'll see.
ROBERT: Seeing a Suzuki, Darrell goes for broke.
I've found another four-wheel drive, but something was wrong with the carburettor.
A who? A what? Say again.
I've found a Suzuki four-wheel drive.
But something's wrong with the carburettor.
There's something wrong with the carburettor.
Well, find another one.
No.
Yeah, no.
Something like that will do good.
Alastair, we need another six barrels.
Chop chop.
ROBERT: The Hogs will need a barrow-load of barrels in order to float their plans and their jeep, welding them end to end to form a flotation for their catamaran.
Morning, Conn.
Morning, Sim.
Hello, Robert.
Lovely morning for you.
How are you? Lovely and sunny and bright.
Could do with rain to cool us down.
So, I've got a feeling - now, I'm just jumping ahead here, but, you know, being very experienced at these things, I reckon you're gonna use barrels for flotation.
What gave you that idea? I don't know.
I just 'Cause I saw you Your scavengers were looking at a Range Rover earlier on.
Has that been Range Rover's too much.
That's a permanent four-wheel drive.
What we need is something that's gonna be able to select.
'Cause that's only high and low ratio.
Right.
So have you got the little jeep? We've got a wee Suzuki.
SIM: And we can unlock the front hubs, which is brilliant.
Does that mean you can drive it Will you take a drive for a propeller off that engine somehow? Yeah.
Hopefully, off the back.
Off the rear prop.
Right.
LISA: The Hogs plan to split the drive between the front and rear drive shafts of their vehicle, enabling them to drive aboard using front-wheel drive only.
Once afloat, they would then change to four-wheel drive and power the landing craft via this rear shaft.
The important part will be to uncouple the front wheels.
Otherwise, they would drive straight off the end, creating more of a submarine than a landing craft.
Come on, boys.
ROBERT: Expert Bill and Captain Pete are getting a tad impatient as Frog and Roo struggle to bring their beetle back to base.
Is the handbrake on? No.
Come on, team.
Where's our bars? Yep.
We're getting movement.
I can see Frog and a beetle.
And a beetle! And a beetle.
The beetle cometh.
That'll do for us.
Well, you could have got a better colour.
(LAUGHS) Thirsty Knights.
I see you've got going early doors.
No hanging around with you.
Yep, got to make a start.
Lovely powder-blue beetle here.
Wonderful colour.
OK.
Why do you want a beetle particularly? Because it's light, and, secondarily, we've got the engine, the weight of the engine, over the rear wheels.
And seeing as we're gonna use our rear wheels to drive some rollers, we need the weight on there to get some grip to the rollers.
Paddles on the? Yep.
Yeah.
A shaft from each side and paddles on the sides of the Like a kind of paddle-steamer, Bill? Something like that, yes.
And, uh Well, we got the idea from an MOT testing bay.
Oh, yeah, I know.
You see, similar sort of thing.
Where you drive your car in for the brake test.
We're gonna reverse it.
We're gonna use the car to drive out that way.
The boys have done well.
Good find.
LISA: Excellent stuff.
Well, look, good luck.
Enjoy the challenge.
I'll come and see how you're doing later.
Well done, boys.
OK, cheers.
Thank you.
'Bye.
(INDISTINCT VOICE ON RADIO) ROBERT: Out on the heap, Hogs Darrell and Alastair can't quite cope on their own with the stuck Suzuki.
What were you saying there? We need help to get this jeep up.
Right! Give me a sec! I'll be there in a sec! Right.
Come on, Sim.
Where are we going? Get this jeep out.
Oh, right.
Might get some gloves.
Hats.
LISA: As Captain Conn and Sim trot off, the nifty Knights start pulling the pair of pontoons they've found back to their build area.
Once safely in dry dock, expert Bill gets his first look below decks.
Now what have we got? LISA: Badly holed below the waterline, they're going to need some serious repairs.
ROBERT: Meanwhile, a horde of Hogs gets seriously stuck in and set about freeing up the jammed jeep.
Whoa, whoa, whoa! We need a bar.
Let's see if we can get a bar.
A lever.
Get a lever.
I could use one as well.
Right.
You ready? (ALL LAUGH) Come back.
You could do with the rope on, Alastair.
Aye, well.
Those Hairy Hogs are so happy.
They're such fun.
And they're just happily throwing bits of metal at each other and welding barrels and Laughing a lot.
Yeah, you know.
You go in there expecting an explanation of a plan.
There is no plan.
There's some barrels and a jeep, put it in the middle.
There's no drawings on board, none of that rubbish.
Just straight in there, get some metal, cut it up, weld it together.
Well, I tell you what couldn't be further from that, and The Thirsty Knights' side - very organised.
You know when you go for an MO and they do the brake test? Rolling road.
Rolling road.
Rollers attached to kind of paddles.
Turn the paddles.
I love paddle-boats.
But that's the kind of action So, again, very simple, then.
Very simple, basic idea, with massive complexity built into it.
Absolutely.
But the one thing that does concern me is the pontoon.
It's got a lot of holes in it.
They say they'll weld the holes up.
Never happens, does it? Floaty things with big lumps of metal.
It's a great mixture.
Blub, blub, blub.
(ENGINE FIRES) Did you hear that? Yes.
Yes, boys.
Well, that's a third of the battle, boys.
Next.
LISA: With the beetle running, Bill's thoughts turn to the rest of the drivetrain.
Rollers next.
That's what we need, Frog.
ROBERT: In high spirits, the Hogs haul back their bacon.
Hi-ho, hi-ho It's off to work we go With a Suzuki jeep ROBERT: But Alastair may have overcooked it.
Alastair, you're going the right-hand side.
We're not going on that side.
We were going on that side.
No, no, no.
(ALL ARGUE) Sorry.
ROBERT: Temper, temper.
Meanwhile, in the calm of the Knights' castle, expert Bill calculates the exact amount of weight his tanks will take.
She's good for about four tonne, Roo.
What, that is? So we don't need to go bigger than that, then? Well, no, that should do us nicely.
LISA: The depth the tanks float at is crucial in deciding where to position the paddles.
To work this out, they'll need to find the craft's displacement.
This is the weight of water displaced by the vessel.
So the teams calculate the volume of their two tanks and factor in the weight of car and crew.
Get their sums wrong and the paddles will either ground on the lake bed or be flapping like windmills.
PEOPLE: Whoa! Is it nearly lunchtime? If I see it, I'll have it.
ROBERT: Scavenging an old flat-bed truck base as the centrepiece of their raft, the Hogs hit the ground running as they knock it into shape.
After their early squabbles, Captain Conn is keen to keep his team on their mettle.
LISA: In the Knights' build area, Bill and Pete start repairs on the pontoon while Roo searches for rollers.
I've found some 2-inch ones.
Would they be any good? Well, we need a bit bigger than that.
Right.
I'll keep looking, then.
Would that cut off with a grinder? Yeah.
ROBERT: A potentially pinchable propeller may solve the Hogs' drive dilemma.
Or a half-decent hacksaw.
20 minutes.
20 minutes? ROBERT: A mere 20-minute voyage.
Alastair sets sail and starts to saw.
And saw.
LISA: Ruling the waves on this armada is Royal Navy Commander Steve Farrington.
After a lifetime spent at sea as a marine engineer, he was the officer in charge of a fleet of eight landing craft aboard HMS 'lntrepid' - the perfect person to preside over this crafty challenge.
ROBERT: You've had a quick look at what the teams have done.
It's obviously very early stages, but it seems like The Thirsty Knights are going for, literally, a pontoon - they're gonna make a big floating steel block with holes in.
Yes, it is.
It's gonna be a floating brick, in short.
It'll be quite interesting to see that pushed through the water.
How it moves through the water, yeah.
Need a lot of power to push something like that through the water.
From what I can tell, they're gonna use paddles, which, I suppose It's not the most efficient form of propulsion, but it certainly works.
The Hairy Hogs have now become a Scrapheap classic - the floating barrel pontoon.
Yes.
Those also don't move terribly fast.
Well, it's a sort of Boy Scout solution, isn't it, really, of putting empty oil drums together, but, actually, it is a more efficacious solution because it's a catamaran.
Right.
And so, by definition, there's less resistance in the water, although it's got a blunt end.
They can always put a bow on it if they want.
One of the other issues here with the "vehicle sits inside it" type of landing craft, that also offers protection for the vehicle and for the personnel inside.
Clearly, on a pontoon, there is no protection.
But I think they're not under that particular threat.
No, I think this should be Unless we're very upset with them.
We might throw the odd rock.
Should be fairly benign.
Should be fairly benign in this case.
ROBERT: Landing craft utilising a ramp in the bow were first invented by the Japanese during the early 1930s to rapidly deploy troops.
Later refined by the Allies during World War II for amphibious assaults, they're probably best known for their role on D-day.
With shallow-draft hulls, they were capable of carrying anything, from troops to trucks and tanks, directly onto the beachhead.
Mankind has, of course, always needed to transport himself across the waves.
Over the years, many different ideas have been tried out not all successful.
Back on the heap, the Knights seem to be cruising for rollers, and Bill's getting hot under the collar.
We've got no sign of them rollers.
That's now urgent, Pete.
We've got to get on the radio to 'em, see what you can chase up.
Time's running.
Hello, Frog, Roo.
Any sign of them rollers yet? Not a thing.
It's getting pretty urgent now.
We've got to have something to work with.
SONG: He's the man He will take you there He will show you where He will take you there He's the man He will take you there He will show you where He will take you there He's the man (SAWING) LISA: Things aren't going all the Hogs' way either.
And Alastair's still stuck in a rut.
Here, Alastair.
Don't say I never get you anything.
Good man.
Thank you very much.
Alright, eh? Yes, appreciate it.
LISA: Refreshed and boxing clever, the Hogs are craftily creating a framework to hold their barrels in place, rather than welding them.
And having reached breaking point, Alastair can finally take his propeller.
ROBERT: With their raft at last shaping up, Captain Conn seems to think the solution to their drive system is all welds and whistles.
He's just reversing in.
(WHISTLES) We weld the end like there, then (WHISTLES) Aye.
Alright.
Over and then just (WHISTLES) ROBERT: Realising it's the Knights who are whistling in the wind with their noble quest for the second roller, Bill decides to change tack.
Um, tell the boys to look for some, um, 8-inch pipe.
Hey, Frog, Roo.
Can you hear me? Yeah, go ahead, Pete.
Right, word from Bill is we now, for our rollers, we want a length of 8-inch pipe.
Length of 8-inch pipe? OK, understood.
LISA: Creating one big roller from scratch will mean rethinking their whole design, something they've been trying to avoid for hours.
They'll have to find the right length of strong pipe and accurately fabricate a central axle and end plates.
Not only that, but they'll now have to come up with a means of steering the pontoon.
ROBERT: Back on the heap, the Knights may not be the only ones forced to change their plans, as the hopeful Hogs have struck a reef and could be stranded unless Darrell can get the jeep running.
Right, we've got a burnt-out starter motor which we need to get fixed.
ROBERT: Speed is of the essence, so the crusading Knights grab the first bit of pipe they can find, which looks suspiciously like something from the bottom of the North Sea.
About as good as useless for what we're trying to do.
Yeah, OK.
ROBERT: That peace pipe offering doesn't seem to have impressed Bill, leaving him looking decidedly seasick.
And with the Hogs' jeep still ill, Sim also seems to have lost his spark.
Afternoon, chaps.
Goodness me.
Goodness.
That's big.
That is big.
We are big.
We need big.
So There's 'Cause I've heard sort of various rumours round the yard about what you're doing here.
It's a lie.
They're all lies, is it? That's a lie.
Or it's all changed as well.
Yeah, it says that, yeah.
But we had a bit of a mishap.
We couldn't find We found one beautiful roller.
But only one.
You were gonna have two separate rollers.
And steer it on the differential.
Steer it with the paddles.
On the diff.
Handbrakes either side.
So you'd have brakes on each side? Yeah.
What a brilliant idea.
Well, it was fine at the time.
So we're now going for a single roller right across.
So both the paddles always be going the same speed.
Yeah, same speed.
We've got forward and reverse, obviously.
Yeah, yeah.
But we're gonna have to sort a rudder.
A traditional rudder at the back? Yeah, I'm afraid so.
You doing alright, then? You think you're OK with time and everything? Would've been nice to be a bit further ahead, but I think we can do it.
I'm afraid the change of direction with our drive system has mucked us out a bit, but we'll catch up.
ROBERT: And catch up they'll have to as the Hogs roll out the barrel but the Suzuki is still not a runner, as, um, Darrell explains.
(SPEAKS INDISTINCTLY) Steel mesh? Well, it's bound to be different, you know, in the different length.
ROBERT: Oh, well, that's clear, then.
Oh, Hairy Hogs.
Hello, Lisa.
OK, let's talk about the design.
You've got your hopefully floating barrels on the side.
Yep.
So they're being welded onto the side of No, no, they're sitting.
They're sitting.
They're just sitting there, not actually welded onto anything.
No.
Then you avoid making any holes in your airtight barrels.
And it also means we can adjust the buoyancy and get the If we need another barrel, we just slide one in.
Ah.
You're not just a pretty face.
Not even that! Very good.
I'm loving that.
So Darrell's working on the jeep at the moment.
What's he doing over there at the mo? Um, he's he's trying he's trying to get her started at the minute.
Hopefully He's the mechanic.
It's up to him.
So he'll get the engine running.
He'd better.
Get the jeep going.
Yes.
I'll see how you're getting on later.
I'll see Darrell.
OK.
Cheers, Lis.
'Bye.
Darrell, Al.
Now, I haven't heard there's anything going yet.
Have I just missed it? No, we haven't had it going yet.
OK.
What's the problem? A few parts missing off the engine.
The engine wasn't complete, you know.
Uh, you see, Conn assured me that you were the mechanic.
Oh, well, you know, but you still need the parts.
It just means I have to go back down the scrapyard and find another starter motor for it.
More work for you, is there? Alastair's favourite place is down the scrapyard.
You love it.
You know you do.
Let's hope you can manage to get this one sorted.
Hopefully, you'll hear it in the next half an hour.
ROBERT: Half an hour later, Darrell's lack of success means he may have to walk the plank.
(SEAGULLS CRY) (CLEARS THROAT) Well, I think that's it.
I think I've fixed the engine.
Oh, marvellous.
Just had to pump a bit of grease into the sliding spline units.
It'll be alright.
We'll get back now.
Great.
I think we're doing almost as well as those Hairy Hogs, you know.
Their only drawback, really, is actually getting the engine started in the jeep.
I had Darrell standing over it going, "It could be half an hour ish.
"The carburettor didn't work.
"Think it might be the starter.
Not really sure.
" It was the kind of Scrapheap half an hour that can lengthen, maybe, to three hours.
The one thing that The Thirsty Knights have got that works is their engine.
Got the little beetle there, running really well, and they were gonna do some extraordinarily complicated, um, independent steering paddle thing, and that's not gonna work.
No.
Far too complicated.
Well, they can't find the bits.
They do get their heads down and get on with it.
They don't muck about, do they? And Bill's very disappointed about not getting his independent rollers.
Of course, whoever does this, whoever wins this competition, I keep forgetting that, is gonna go through to the final.
I know, 'cause the Hairy Hogs seem to be very laid-back.
Yeah.
But I think underneath Underneath, they have that jollity.
Absolutely.
'Cause they want to win the final, without a doubt.
Unless they get their engine going, propeller attached to their engine, don't have any idea how they're gonna steer it.
Yes.
With The Thirsty Knights, it's anyone's guess as to whether they're really, really excited or dreading getting through to the final.
I mean 'Cause they are enigmatic.
They've taken enigmatic to a new level.
And, of course, a lot of their face is covered by facial hair.
The bits you look at to distinguish what they're thinking, just a mass of fur.
ROBERT: And that fur starts to fly as Roo questions the Knights' priorities.
Alright, so, don't worry about the welding.
But I'd like to get this together, 'cause then we can split up.
I would like to just weld that top bit up.
(INDISTINCT VOICE ON RADIO) It's where? I thought we'd go back to that.
Well, if you want to play welding, you go play welding, son.
'Cause we had this the last time.
Eh? We had this the last time.
You end up with loads to do right at the end.
Trouble is, there's an awful lot of welding left to do as well.
Right, you do that.
Bill's obviously used to being in charge and has taken up quite a lot of the rein.
Don't worry about the welding for a bit, boys.
Let's get our bits in so we can get fabricating the next stage.
LISA: So, what does Captain Pete make of this potential mutiny on deck? Our expert has got very much ideas of his own.
And I think he's, uh he'd like to stick to his own way of doing things, maybe not as receptive to other people's ideas as we might like, but we're bringing him round.
Uh, teams, your attention, please.
You have six hours remaining.
Six hours construction time remaining.
LISA: With just over half the build time remaining, Bill's pipe dream needs to get a move on.
That'll do.
That'll do for now.
ROBERT: So, wielding a welder rather than a lance, our noble Knights have turned the corner and finally seem to be working as a team.
Well, there's a bit of luck.
These two are now ready to weld on, yeah? On your lines.
On the lines.
That's the centre lines.
Well, I'm very impressed with how both teams are doing.
I mean, the Hairy Hogs' is you know, looks like it's done.
They've got a big ship there.
Yes, it's, um Yeah, it's an interesting design which, uh I wasn't aware that they were going for the semi-submersible option.
Yes, it does look the sort of central support plinth is quite low.
Yes, it's a little lower than I would have thought.
The Thirsty Knights, I know, have had a fairly major change of plans.
They were gonna have independently driven paddles, weren't they? Now they're gonna go just for, like, a single roller.
I think that's what I'd always favoured the single roller, to be fair, with just a simple rudder at the back.
Um, of course, control will be quite fun.
I expect they'll have quite a large rudder.
And if they can streamline the bow section, then it could be quite an effective solution.
So have you changed your mind at all, Steve, about which one you prefer? I mean, you're still sticking with the Hairy Hogs as your favourite at the moment? Um, nothing's really changed from what I said originally, that from a design perspective, the Hairy Hogs What a delightful terminology.
do have the edge on design.
LISA: The Hogs may have it for Steve, but Pete leads from the front using some fine engineering.
ROBERT: Next door, the technique is more, um, agricultural.
Oh, yes! (LAUGHS) ROBERT: With the launch of HMS 'Albion' in 2001, a new era in landing craft technology came into being.
With the mother ship's high-tech floodable deck, berthing four 240-tonne landing craft, it's like something from a James Bond film.
The landing craft are 30 metres long and 7.
5 metres wide.
With stern and bow ramps speeding up the loading and unloading of their payload of troops and machines they can operate over a wide range of 600 miles in climates from the Arctic to the tropics and accommodate its crew at sea for up to two weeks, keeping the landing craft at the heart of a modern navy.
LISA: Back at the heap, without a working engine and struggling with radiators for ramps, the Hogs try to get their personnel carrier into position.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
What happened then? ROBERT: So as the sun starts to set over the yardarm, the Knights seem finally to be on a roll, and Bill clearly hopes to hammer home the point that things are looking brighter for his motley crew as they apply the finishing touches to their rollers.
Hey, Thirsty Knights.
So You've got the rollers.
That's gonna go in there.
Um, what else have you got to do? It seems like you're fairly controlled.
No, no, no.
We're nothing like in control.
Really? No, we're completely, uh, thrashing about in the dark, I'd say.
Pete! That's not good.
No, we've got little rollers to go.
And where are the little rollers going? Uh, near the big roller.
So the wheel sits in between them.
So it's basically providing a little V for the Yep.
for the wheels to sit on.
So, Frog, do you feel like you're thrashing about in the dark? Absolutely, yes.
That's what we're best at.
Is it a bit more stressful this time? A change of tack, I'd say.
Yeah.
We're trying a new approach.
Yes.
LISA: What's the new approach? Being really stressed.
Thrashing about in the dark, yes.
Oh, no.
'Cause it doesn't really suit you, being stressed.
'Cause you're quite Zen usually, 'cause you're your Buddhist vegan self, but underneath that calm exterior, is your heart going a little bit now? Mmm, a bit.
Just a little bit? Just a tiny bit.
Well, look, guys, I'm gonna leave you to get on with it, 'cause there's not a huge amount of time left, and you've got an awful lot to do.
So I'll leave you to get on with it.
I'll see you later, Thirsty Knights.
ROBERT: With time moving along, both teams have plenty to worry about.
The Hogs have yet to get their jeep's engine actually working.
Hoping for a spark of inspiration, Darrell spruces up the splines that will transfer the engine's power to the propeller.
That's if Sim and Conn can wrestle it free first.
Then they must bodge up a bracket to mount the whole thing to the raft.
LISA: While the Knights must fix their newly made roller in position before adding the smaller rollers, ramps and, of course, make sure the pontoon is watertight.
Don't worry.
Put 'em on.
Put 'em on.
I was just lining up.
Yeah, it's got to move a bit, yep.
That's good enough for us, boys.
ROBERT: Darrell decides to have one last fiddle with the engine as Sim and Conn work on mounting the propeller and rudder at the rear of the raft.
You want the posts (ENGINE STARTS) Ooh.
Ooh.
Ooh.
Oh, it's gonna go.
(ENGINE RUMBLES) (ALL CHEER) Ho-ho! ROBERT: A delighted Darrell does the business.
At long last, the pigs have some poke for their propeller.
The drive shaft, the drive shaft, the drive shaft.
ROBERT: Darrell sorts the rest of the drive shaft as expert Sim readies the rudder.
Ah, evening, Hogs.
Hi, Lisa.
My word, this is all looking, um, really organised and together and nearly finished.
Is it? Is that just an illusion? We know more than you do.
Now, you're very jolly and jovial and laughing about this, but how seriously do you want to win this? Do you really want to be in the Scrapheap final? Yes.
Who doesn't? That's what we're here for.
We are gonna be in the final.
Oh, that's the line that I'm foisting for, Darrell.
Go on, get in there.
Excellent stuff.
Do you think it's going to be a massive time disadvantage the time it takes you to actually link your drive shaft to your prop? No.
How fast do you reckon you'll be able to do that? Um, 20 seconds.
So just 20 seconds? Yeah.
Do you think that's realistic, Sim? Totally.
I'd say more like 15, but Oh.
Be very careful.
You're verging on smug.
That's what'll happen.
Well, look, you've done a brilliant build.
It looks fantastic.
I can't wait to see it in action.
Well done.
I'll see you later on.
Bye-bye.
ROBERT: Sparks fly as the white-hot Knights fight to finish their craft.
(RINGS BELL) Teams, you have one hour remaining, teams.
One hour remaining.
The end is nigh.
You see, Hairy Hogs, I popped in to see them a little while ago.
I'm a bit worried they might be a little bit too smug and gloating.
It's always a danger, isn't it? Always worries me when teams do that.
And also, it's gonna take I think it's gonna take a long time They get the car on, then they've got to do a lot of clicky joining up.
There's a lot of that to do before they even start moving.
They think that's gonna take 15 to 20 seconds.
You know what I was saying about gloating and overconfidence? Point made.
The Thirsty Knights, the one thing we know is they're gonna drive onto that big pontoon, the wheels drop onto the rollers and they can go.
The paddle size is a concern.
I think there's an Action Man boat you can get that has bigger paddles than that - they've gone for the biggest floaty thing with the smallest They're like five lollipop sticks with sort of cards stuck on the end.
But, you know, that's it.
They've got plenty of power to turn them.
And it might be that once they get that thing moving and it just goes "Tsh-tsh-tsh-tsh-tsh" You know, it is impossible to tell.
I think there is a conspiracy with The Thirsty Knights, you know.
They know exactly what's gonna happen and they're not telling anyone.
Shall we start panicking now or what? ROBERT: With time ticking away, the Knights push on with their paddles, while the Hogs confidently start tidying up their sty.
Let's have her up.
Whoa! That's it.
LISA: Finally, the Knights' cargo's on and is ready for use.
BILL: Yes! Yes! Come on, my boys.
At the pump.
Let's go.
Five, four, three, two, one.
(RINGS BELL) Teams, please cease your endeavours.
That's it.
Eight bells have tolled.
Your time is up.
The 10 hours have gone.
LISA: Yes, teams, tomorrow, it's launch day on the lake.
Well done, teams.
Excellent build.
Well done.
ROBERT: As our teams battle for a place in the final, will our winners be those high rollers The Thirsty Knights and their paddle-powered pontoon? Or could victory go to the Hairy Hogs and their jeep-toting blue-barrelled catamaran? They'll go bow-to-bow in their landing crafts around this course.
Setting off from HQ here, they'll drive at full speed to here.
Once aboard their craft, they'll engage their drive systems and race at full speed to enemy territory here, being careful to avoid enemy submarines here, here and here.
Once there, they must rescue their commander.
With him safely aboard, they have to get him back to HQ as soon as possible via this route here.
Lovely.
ROBERT: Our teams ready their rudders to face each other in a briny battle to reach the final.
But first they must take the plunge and see if their leaky landers actually float.
LISA: Well, they seem shipshape, but what does our judge think? Two worries for the two teams - for the Hairy Hogs, lining up the vehicle on their drive system.
Sure.
I'm not quite sure how they're gonna manage that.
Yes, but I think they've taken a very wise precaution in that they've got some sort of lining-up chocks which they've since welded on during their tinkering period.
And then with The Thirsty Knights, I mean, my big concern, and I don't seem to be on my own with that, is the size of their paddles and the potential speed that they're going to be spinning at.
If they're doing 500 r.
p.
m.
, there's not gonna be a lot of water left.
There's just gonna be sort of steam coming off them.
Well, it's Well, there'll be a lot of foam generated, yeah.
ROBERT: With experts marooned and the sub fleet patrolling the straits, landing craft at the ready, our teams are set fair for their mission.
So, Hairy Hogs, this is it, the big one.
Yes.
Any last-minute nerves? Yes.
Yes.
Are you quite nervous? Bit nervous now.
'Cause you know This is it.
The place in the Scrapheap final is at stake.
Get it wrong (IMITATES THROAT CUTTING) it's all over.
Not wanting to make you feel worse or anything.
Thank you.
Best of luck.
So, Thirsty Knights, this is the big one.
Are you nervous as the Hogs? No, I think Bill's doing the worrying for us.
I mean, how determined are you to win this? Does it really matter to you getting to the final? Yes.
No.
No.
Ish.
As long as it's fun, don't matter.
Long as you're having a good time? Yeah.
Well, best of luck to both teams.
See you later.
Thank you.
Right, troops, are you ready to embark? ALL: Yes! Can you plot a course to the final? ALL: Yes! Victory is within your grasp.
Very, very good luck, chaps.
Good show! (ENGINES RUMBLE) OK, teams, get ready to load.
Go on the sound of the horn.
(SQUEEZES HORN) Oh, it's a great start.
The land bit's very impressive.
Yep.
ROBERT: Both reversing on.
Yeah, there's nothing between them at the moment.
Out.
STEVE: No, this is really tricky for the Hairy Hogs.
ROBERT: Very narrow, very narrow.
He's got to get it just spot-on.
Forward, forward.
Quick, quick.
Alright.
STEVE: More haste, less speed there.
And The Thirsty Knights have got the edge.
They're on.
ROBERT: They're just about on.
STEVE: And they're straight up on that ramp and they're going.
ROBERT: Oh.
Are they already in position? Yep, yep.
That's it.
They're ready to drive now.
That's as we expected, isn't it? Come on, over this way.
Right.
Quick, quick, quick.
Come on.
That's it, that's it.
Whoa.
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Right, back, boys, back, back.
Back a wee bit.
Back, back.
Forward.
Right.
Back, back.
Handbrake on.
Front wheel, front wheel.
Yes, yes.
I know, I know.
STEVE: There they go.
They're on their way now.
At least the paddles are turning.
Not an automatic movement yet.
Are we afloat? I think so.
We away? We're moving.
ROBERT: Oh, look.
And we have movement here.
Instantaneously.
That's very impressive.
Yeah, very impressive.
Go ahead, go.
Go.
Here, we need to get this up.
Alright, alright.
The ramp.
Pull in the ramp.
Just pull it.
Come on, pull.
Well, both craft are moving.
Certainly, the Knights are moving with more splash and fuss than the Hairy Hogs, but they are going.
First.
Reverse.
Reverse, aye, yeah.
The Hogs seem to be having some kind of steering problem at the moment.
ROBERT: Which looks like it's given a head start to the Knights.
It is going along now, 'cause at the beginning, their paddles were going like mad and there was no movement, was there? There's no point in you steering.
Don't bother steering! I'm not sure if anybody's actually told the Hogs they have to come through these enemy submarines.
Oh, no, no.
They're managing to turn round now.
We're doing alright.
Take it easy now.
Take it easy.
You might have to slow off a bit.
And the Hogs are in the lead.
The Knights' paddles seem to be going round, making a lot of splash and fuss, but not getting them very far.
ROBERT: So it's a slow boat to China for the Knights, letting the hare-like Hogs hop ahead as they reach their expert first.
Keep coming, keep coming.
I'm gonna spin you.
I'm gonna spin you round, alright? Yep.
Get on the front of that ramp, mate.
Get on the front of the ramp there.
Concentrate on what you're doing.
I'm alright, mate.
I'm alright.
Bill might have a longer wait, by the looks of things.
(HORN HONKS) Easy, mate, easy! ROBERT: They're flashing their lights.
There's a lot of showing off going on here.
ROBERT: At last, the Knights reach their expert.
Well, she's running alright.
We needed bigger paddles.
Lovely.
Shut the engines down.
So we can pull around.
Shape it the right way.
(HORN HONKS) Shut up with the horn! ROBERT: With the Hogs halfway home, expert Bill clambers aboard.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, we're right.
Away you go.
Falling across someone's head here.
ROBERT: A long way astern and desperate, Frog floors it.
Alright.
Working my way forward.
STEVE: They're really beating the water up there and trying to make up for the surface area of the paddles with the speed.
But, I mean, really, if they were to slow down a touch, they would probably get a better propulsion effect.
I'm alright.
That makes the fastest progress.
Almost idle.
We just need to pick up speed.
(LAUGHS) Shut up! Look at the Hairy Hogs.
I mean, they are doing so well.
ROBERT: They're nearly home.
They're coming in for the beach landing now.
There we go.
Look at that, look.
Oh, look at that.
And now down ramp and offload.
Engage front-wheel drive.
And no need for them to rush at this at all.
ROBERT: No.
Switch her off now.
We need to pop these hubs.
I said a turn, not a knot! Jeepers! Who put that? Alastair! Come on! Get a knife.
ROBERT: Come on, undo that knot.
STEVE: Yep.
ROBERT: The Hogs thought they'd tied it up, and, yes, it's still tied up.
We're gonna lose 'cause of that there, boy.
Oh, yeah, alright.
What are you doing? I can't bear if they're gonna lose the whole race 'cause of one knot.
Come on, Alastair! Dang varmints! Hee-how! Come on, boys! Come on! There we go.
Get on.
Everybody on.
No, we get on here.
Everybody on.
Fast as you can.
(ALL CHEER) Who's your daddy? STEVE: Won handsomely.
But in terms of visual effect, though, Robert, what do you think of that? I mean, that really does look very good, doesn't it? ROBERT: It does prove that high-speed paddles, they do work in the sense that they are moving.
But they They certainly are.
And indeed, I dare say they've raised the temperature of the lake here by a few degrees.
That's in.
Off we go.
Ready? Ready.
After three.
They've got to lever the car up to get it off the rollers.
One, two, three, go.
Away you go.
Just go for it, my son.
Wait for me! Oh, they've left STEVE: Look what's happened.
They've left Bill behind! Hey, what about me? You've even got the bloody paddles! (ALL LAUGH) No.
Jump for it, I think.
There's only one solution here.
Come on, then, start again.
(LAUGHS) They're actually swimming out to give the paddles to the expert to try and get him in.
Oh, how lovely.
Oh, thank you, team.
I thought you'd deserted me, you know.
I really did.
(SINGS) On your way Here on the sea Come on, then.
Hi there, Jim lad.
Abandon ship.
How do? Come on, Knights.
Yee-ha! HOGS: Come on! Come on! Well, they finished with good humour and style.
Yeah, they refused to give up.
(LAUGHS) Well done.
What did you think when they left you out there in the middle of the sink? I thought they didn't love me anymore.
I thought, "My crap design, and now they're gonna make me pay for it.
" Well, teams, thanks again for another terrific challenge.
Just once in a while, we get a test that makes us all genuinely fall about laughing.
And so special thanks has to go to The Thirsty Knights.
You gave us the best laugh of the series.
Well done, Thirsty Knights.
But this week's resounding winners are the Hairy Hogs.
(ALL CHEER) Well done.
ROBERT: Excellent.
LISA: Oh, dear.
LISA: Oh, dear.
(CHEERING)
Stupid boy! Welcome to Scrapheap Challenge, where this week, our two warring teams of mechanical Montgomerys are going over the top and launching their bids for a place in the final.
LISA: This week, our teams must build a card-carrying landing craft and power it across the water to rescue their experts in a head-to-head duel.
ROBERT: First up, our bunch of bodging bikers from Belfast - Captain Conn, Alastair and Darrell.
Having boisterously boated their way into the semifinal, it's the Hairy Hogs.
LISA: Taking them on are The Thirsty Knights.
Enigmatic engineers Roo, Frog and his brother, Captain Pete, who cleverly outmanoeuvred the opposition despite a bit of a shimmy to propel themselves into the semifinal.
Thirsty Knights! (ALL CHEER) Hairy Hogs! ALL: Yes! Welcome, teams.
Well, you have trounced your opponents to fare this far.
But to win a place in the final, you must build a landing craft big enough to carry a car of your choice across a lake.
And when all three of you have driven aboard, using only your car's engine power to propel your craft, you must race to rescue your experts.
Who will be stranded on a raft.
Ha-ha! And then all of you return to dry land.
Thirsty Knights, are you ready for a titanic struggle? ALL: Yes! Hairy Hogs, are you ready to set sail? ALL: Yes! OK, you have 10 hours from the gong.
Wait for it.
Wait for it.
BOTH: Go! ROBERT: Helping the Knights toward a safe passage is East End boatbuilder Bill Rutland.
Having spent all his working life on boats and barges, he's the right man for a firm hand on the tiller.
Hi, Bill.
Let's go.
LISA: And helping the Hogs stay afloat is a Scrapheap regular, Simeon Oakley, who lives aboard his own boat and designs and builds exhibits for science museums.
Landing craft.
All we got to do is get a vehicle onto a boat, get it across somewhere, take the vehicle off the boat.
Can't be hard, can it? Obviously, we need some kind of flotation For the vehicle, whatever the vehicle is.
Raft.
Boat.
Or a boat.
Some kind of raft, yes.
I don't know what we're looking at, but Pontoons of some description.
We're looking for oil barrels, aren't we, for Oil barrels or Anything that floats.
I mean, oil barrels are great 'cause they're a nice size to handle.
What are we gonna get for propulsion here? Are we looking for a propeller or Main ways I see it is either a propeller or some kind of jet drive.
If we can get our vehicle, get our frame made, get it ready, get a ramp and all made, and then, in between times, we'll sort of think about the propulsion.
Yeah.
'Cause the propulsion's the easy bit.
Maybe for you, yeah.
Not for a sparky.
LISA: Using oil barrels to create the raft, the Hogs plan to find a four-wheel-drive vehicle and split the drive, taking their propulsion system off the rear wheels.
Engaging this drive once afloat will be the team's most difficult task.
Get it right and all will be plain sailing.
Get it wrong and they'll be all at sea.
ROBERT: On a different tack, the Knights have other ideas.
Well, I went for an MOT last week.
I don't know if you've seen.
And you go on the rolling roads.
Rollers.
If we can make something like that, if we can find head drums, any bits of conveyor, anything that we can make a drive thing out of.
Go and see what you can find.
Our paddles are gonna be big things.
They've got to We're gonna have to have 'em centred on the roller, and yet they've got to drive in the water.
So we're gonna have to make sure we're actually gonna reach the water.
OK, well, what we'll look at Once we get our tank, or whatever else we're going to get, we can work out where it's going to flow.
Once we know where it's gonna flow, then we'll get into the design of the paddles themselves.
Something else we've got to think about as well is traction on the rear wheels of the car on the rollers.
Yes, well, we've got option there, depending what you find.
The other thing is, I mean, if we sit two in the back of the car, that'll give us added weight.
That'll be our job, won't it? Yeah.
Well, I could volunteer for that, to be honest.
LISA: Paddle-powering a pontoon via a rolling-road drive system, the Knights will need to find a flotation tank and a light rear-engined vehicle.
Splitting the handbrake cable, they hope to steer by braking each wheel separately, providing drive to one paddle only.
So finding two matching rollers will be crucial.
Talking maybe a foot, 18 inches diameter, something like that, rollers.
OK, we know what we want.
Let's go.
ROBERT: Like latter-day pirates, our teams race to pick the choicest treasure from our heap.
But our teams will need all their nautical nous to navigate this course.
Once they've driven aboard their craft, they must engage their water-based propulsion before racing to rescue their experts, who will be hoping they came up with the right recipe for this scrappy campaign.
Well, I went for an MOT last week.
LISA: The Thirsty Knights' plan is to paddle their way to victory using a rolling road, a ramp and a large flotation tank.
Obviously, we need some kind of flotation.
We're looking at ROBERT: While the Hairy Hogs favour an oil barrel raft with a four-wheel-drive vehicle, but they're not quite sure of the propulsion system yet.
LISA: So it's all hands on deck as both teams trawl the heap in search of the best bits.
Uh, guys, there's a Range Rover here, but it's an auto.
ROBERT: Right off, Darrell finds a rusty wreck of a Range Rover while the Knights have found a potential pontoon and a blue beetle.
I've got the big float, Pete.
That'll do.
Fetch it in.
Right, so that's the raft.
We're doing very well.
OK, so, a landing craft.
Any experience before? No.
None whatsoever.
Quite like the idea of the challenge? Yeah.
Oh, yeah, certainly.
Happy on water? Me and water, we have a special arrangement.
Being called Frog, clearly.
I mean, there is definitely a gag to be made about a frog after a bug.
We'll see.
ROBERT: Seeing a Suzuki, Darrell goes for broke.
I've found another four-wheel drive, but something was wrong with the carburettor.
A who? A what? Say again.
I've found a Suzuki four-wheel drive.
But something's wrong with the carburettor.
There's something wrong with the carburettor.
Well, find another one.
No.
Yeah, no.
Something like that will do good.
Alastair, we need another six barrels.
Chop chop.
ROBERT: The Hogs will need a barrow-load of barrels in order to float their plans and their jeep, welding them end to end to form a flotation for their catamaran.
Morning, Conn.
Morning, Sim.
Hello, Robert.
Lovely morning for you.
How are you? Lovely and sunny and bright.
Could do with rain to cool us down.
So, I've got a feeling - now, I'm just jumping ahead here, but, you know, being very experienced at these things, I reckon you're gonna use barrels for flotation.
What gave you that idea? I don't know.
I just 'Cause I saw you Your scavengers were looking at a Range Rover earlier on.
Has that been Range Rover's too much.
That's a permanent four-wheel drive.
What we need is something that's gonna be able to select.
'Cause that's only high and low ratio.
Right.
So have you got the little jeep? We've got a wee Suzuki.
SIM: And we can unlock the front hubs, which is brilliant.
Does that mean you can drive it Will you take a drive for a propeller off that engine somehow? Yeah.
Hopefully, off the back.
Off the rear prop.
Right.
LISA: The Hogs plan to split the drive between the front and rear drive shafts of their vehicle, enabling them to drive aboard using front-wheel drive only.
Once afloat, they would then change to four-wheel drive and power the landing craft via this rear shaft.
The important part will be to uncouple the front wheels.
Otherwise, they would drive straight off the end, creating more of a submarine than a landing craft.
Come on, boys.
ROBERT: Expert Bill and Captain Pete are getting a tad impatient as Frog and Roo struggle to bring their beetle back to base.
Is the handbrake on? No.
Come on, team.
Where's our bars? Yep.
We're getting movement.
I can see Frog and a beetle.
And a beetle! And a beetle.
The beetle cometh.
That'll do for us.
Well, you could have got a better colour.
(LAUGHS) Thirsty Knights.
I see you've got going early doors.
No hanging around with you.
Yep, got to make a start.
Lovely powder-blue beetle here.
Wonderful colour.
OK.
Why do you want a beetle particularly? Because it's light, and, secondarily, we've got the engine, the weight of the engine, over the rear wheels.
And seeing as we're gonna use our rear wheels to drive some rollers, we need the weight on there to get some grip to the rollers.
Paddles on the? Yep.
Yeah.
A shaft from each side and paddles on the sides of the Like a kind of paddle-steamer, Bill? Something like that, yes.
And, uh Well, we got the idea from an MOT testing bay.
Oh, yeah, I know.
You see, similar sort of thing.
Where you drive your car in for the brake test.
We're gonna reverse it.
We're gonna use the car to drive out that way.
The boys have done well.
Good find.
LISA: Excellent stuff.
Well, look, good luck.
Enjoy the challenge.
I'll come and see how you're doing later.
Well done, boys.
OK, cheers.
Thank you.
'Bye.
(INDISTINCT VOICE ON RADIO) ROBERT: Out on the heap, Hogs Darrell and Alastair can't quite cope on their own with the stuck Suzuki.
What were you saying there? We need help to get this jeep up.
Right! Give me a sec! I'll be there in a sec! Right.
Come on, Sim.
Where are we going? Get this jeep out.
Oh, right.
Might get some gloves.
Hats.
LISA: As Captain Conn and Sim trot off, the nifty Knights start pulling the pair of pontoons they've found back to their build area.
Once safely in dry dock, expert Bill gets his first look below decks.
Now what have we got? LISA: Badly holed below the waterline, they're going to need some serious repairs.
ROBERT: Meanwhile, a horde of Hogs gets seriously stuck in and set about freeing up the jammed jeep.
Whoa, whoa, whoa! We need a bar.
Let's see if we can get a bar.
A lever.
Get a lever.
I could use one as well.
Right.
You ready? (ALL LAUGH) Come back.
You could do with the rope on, Alastair.
Aye, well.
Those Hairy Hogs are so happy.
They're such fun.
And they're just happily throwing bits of metal at each other and welding barrels and Laughing a lot.
Yeah, you know.
You go in there expecting an explanation of a plan.
There is no plan.
There's some barrels and a jeep, put it in the middle.
There's no drawings on board, none of that rubbish.
Just straight in there, get some metal, cut it up, weld it together.
Well, I tell you what couldn't be further from that, and The Thirsty Knights' side - very organised.
You know when you go for an MO and they do the brake test? Rolling road.
Rolling road.
Rollers attached to kind of paddles.
Turn the paddles.
I love paddle-boats.
But that's the kind of action So, again, very simple, then.
Very simple, basic idea, with massive complexity built into it.
Absolutely.
But the one thing that does concern me is the pontoon.
It's got a lot of holes in it.
They say they'll weld the holes up.
Never happens, does it? Floaty things with big lumps of metal.
It's a great mixture.
Blub, blub, blub.
(ENGINE FIRES) Did you hear that? Yes.
Yes, boys.
Well, that's a third of the battle, boys.
Next.
LISA: With the beetle running, Bill's thoughts turn to the rest of the drivetrain.
Rollers next.
That's what we need, Frog.
ROBERT: In high spirits, the Hogs haul back their bacon.
Hi-ho, hi-ho It's off to work we go With a Suzuki jeep ROBERT: But Alastair may have overcooked it.
Alastair, you're going the right-hand side.
We're not going on that side.
We were going on that side.
No, no, no.
(ALL ARGUE) Sorry.
ROBERT: Temper, temper.
Meanwhile, in the calm of the Knights' castle, expert Bill calculates the exact amount of weight his tanks will take.
She's good for about four tonne, Roo.
What, that is? So we don't need to go bigger than that, then? Well, no, that should do us nicely.
LISA: The depth the tanks float at is crucial in deciding where to position the paddles.
To work this out, they'll need to find the craft's displacement.
This is the weight of water displaced by the vessel.
So the teams calculate the volume of their two tanks and factor in the weight of car and crew.
Get their sums wrong and the paddles will either ground on the lake bed or be flapping like windmills.
PEOPLE: Whoa! Is it nearly lunchtime? If I see it, I'll have it.
ROBERT: Scavenging an old flat-bed truck base as the centrepiece of their raft, the Hogs hit the ground running as they knock it into shape.
After their early squabbles, Captain Conn is keen to keep his team on their mettle.
LISA: In the Knights' build area, Bill and Pete start repairs on the pontoon while Roo searches for rollers.
I've found some 2-inch ones.
Would they be any good? Well, we need a bit bigger than that.
Right.
I'll keep looking, then.
Would that cut off with a grinder? Yeah.
ROBERT: A potentially pinchable propeller may solve the Hogs' drive dilemma.
Or a half-decent hacksaw.
20 minutes.
20 minutes? ROBERT: A mere 20-minute voyage.
Alastair sets sail and starts to saw.
And saw.
LISA: Ruling the waves on this armada is Royal Navy Commander Steve Farrington.
After a lifetime spent at sea as a marine engineer, he was the officer in charge of a fleet of eight landing craft aboard HMS 'lntrepid' - the perfect person to preside over this crafty challenge.
ROBERT: You've had a quick look at what the teams have done.
It's obviously very early stages, but it seems like The Thirsty Knights are going for, literally, a pontoon - they're gonna make a big floating steel block with holes in.
Yes, it is.
It's gonna be a floating brick, in short.
It'll be quite interesting to see that pushed through the water.
How it moves through the water, yeah.
Need a lot of power to push something like that through the water.
From what I can tell, they're gonna use paddles, which, I suppose It's not the most efficient form of propulsion, but it certainly works.
The Hairy Hogs have now become a Scrapheap classic - the floating barrel pontoon.
Yes.
Those also don't move terribly fast.
Well, it's a sort of Boy Scout solution, isn't it, really, of putting empty oil drums together, but, actually, it is a more efficacious solution because it's a catamaran.
Right.
And so, by definition, there's less resistance in the water, although it's got a blunt end.
They can always put a bow on it if they want.
One of the other issues here with the "vehicle sits inside it" type of landing craft, that also offers protection for the vehicle and for the personnel inside.
Clearly, on a pontoon, there is no protection.
But I think they're not under that particular threat.
No, I think this should be Unless we're very upset with them.
We might throw the odd rock.
Should be fairly benign.
Should be fairly benign in this case.
ROBERT: Landing craft utilising a ramp in the bow were first invented by the Japanese during the early 1930s to rapidly deploy troops.
Later refined by the Allies during World War II for amphibious assaults, they're probably best known for their role on D-day.
With shallow-draft hulls, they were capable of carrying anything, from troops to trucks and tanks, directly onto the beachhead.
Mankind has, of course, always needed to transport himself across the waves.
Over the years, many different ideas have been tried out not all successful.
Back on the heap, the Knights seem to be cruising for rollers, and Bill's getting hot under the collar.
We've got no sign of them rollers.
That's now urgent, Pete.
We've got to get on the radio to 'em, see what you can chase up.
Time's running.
Hello, Frog, Roo.
Any sign of them rollers yet? Not a thing.
It's getting pretty urgent now.
We've got to have something to work with.
SONG: He's the man He will take you there He will show you where He will take you there He's the man He will take you there He will show you where He will take you there He's the man (SAWING) LISA: Things aren't going all the Hogs' way either.
And Alastair's still stuck in a rut.
Here, Alastair.
Don't say I never get you anything.
Good man.
Thank you very much.
Alright, eh? Yes, appreciate it.
LISA: Refreshed and boxing clever, the Hogs are craftily creating a framework to hold their barrels in place, rather than welding them.
And having reached breaking point, Alastair can finally take his propeller.
ROBERT: With their raft at last shaping up, Captain Conn seems to think the solution to their drive system is all welds and whistles.
He's just reversing in.
(WHISTLES) We weld the end like there, then (WHISTLES) Aye.
Alright.
Over and then just (WHISTLES) ROBERT: Realising it's the Knights who are whistling in the wind with their noble quest for the second roller, Bill decides to change tack.
Um, tell the boys to look for some, um, 8-inch pipe.
Hey, Frog, Roo.
Can you hear me? Yeah, go ahead, Pete.
Right, word from Bill is we now, for our rollers, we want a length of 8-inch pipe.
Length of 8-inch pipe? OK, understood.
LISA: Creating one big roller from scratch will mean rethinking their whole design, something they've been trying to avoid for hours.
They'll have to find the right length of strong pipe and accurately fabricate a central axle and end plates.
Not only that, but they'll now have to come up with a means of steering the pontoon.
ROBERT: Back on the heap, the Knights may not be the only ones forced to change their plans, as the hopeful Hogs have struck a reef and could be stranded unless Darrell can get the jeep running.
Right, we've got a burnt-out starter motor which we need to get fixed.
ROBERT: Speed is of the essence, so the crusading Knights grab the first bit of pipe they can find, which looks suspiciously like something from the bottom of the North Sea.
About as good as useless for what we're trying to do.
Yeah, OK.
ROBERT: That peace pipe offering doesn't seem to have impressed Bill, leaving him looking decidedly seasick.
And with the Hogs' jeep still ill, Sim also seems to have lost his spark.
Afternoon, chaps.
Goodness me.
Goodness.
That's big.
That is big.
We are big.
We need big.
So There's 'Cause I've heard sort of various rumours round the yard about what you're doing here.
It's a lie.
They're all lies, is it? That's a lie.
Or it's all changed as well.
Yeah, it says that, yeah.
But we had a bit of a mishap.
We couldn't find We found one beautiful roller.
But only one.
You were gonna have two separate rollers.
And steer it on the differential.
Steer it with the paddles.
On the diff.
Handbrakes either side.
So you'd have brakes on each side? Yeah.
What a brilliant idea.
Well, it was fine at the time.
So we're now going for a single roller right across.
So both the paddles always be going the same speed.
Yeah, same speed.
We've got forward and reverse, obviously.
Yeah, yeah.
But we're gonna have to sort a rudder.
A traditional rudder at the back? Yeah, I'm afraid so.
You doing alright, then? You think you're OK with time and everything? Would've been nice to be a bit further ahead, but I think we can do it.
I'm afraid the change of direction with our drive system has mucked us out a bit, but we'll catch up.
ROBERT: And catch up they'll have to as the Hogs roll out the barrel but the Suzuki is still not a runner, as, um, Darrell explains.
(SPEAKS INDISTINCTLY) Steel mesh? Well, it's bound to be different, you know, in the different length.
ROBERT: Oh, well, that's clear, then.
Oh, Hairy Hogs.
Hello, Lisa.
OK, let's talk about the design.
You've got your hopefully floating barrels on the side.
Yep.
So they're being welded onto the side of No, no, they're sitting.
They're sitting.
They're just sitting there, not actually welded onto anything.
No.
Then you avoid making any holes in your airtight barrels.
And it also means we can adjust the buoyancy and get the If we need another barrel, we just slide one in.
Ah.
You're not just a pretty face.
Not even that! Very good.
I'm loving that.
So Darrell's working on the jeep at the moment.
What's he doing over there at the mo? Um, he's he's trying he's trying to get her started at the minute.
Hopefully He's the mechanic.
It's up to him.
So he'll get the engine running.
He'd better.
Get the jeep going.
Yes.
I'll see how you're getting on later.
I'll see Darrell.
OK.
Cheers, Lis.
'Bye.
Darrell, Al.
Now, I haven't heard there's anything going yet.
Have I just missed it? No, we haven't had it going yet.
OK.
What's the problem? A few parts missing off the engine.
The engine wasn't complete, you know.
Uh, you see, Conn assured me that you were the mechanic.
Oh, well, you know, but you still need the parts.
It just means I have to go back down the scrapyard and find another starter motor for it.
More work for you, is there? Alastair's favourite place is down the scrapyard.
You love it.
You know you do.
Let's hope you can manage to get this one sorted.
Hopefully, you'll hear it in the next half an hour.
ROBERT: Half an hour later, Darrell's lack of success means he may have to walk the plank.
(SEAGULLS CRY) (CLEARS THROAT) Well, I think that's it.
I think I've fixed the engine.
Oh, marvellous.
Just had to pump a bit of grease into the sliding spline units.
It'll be alright.
We'll get back now.
Great.
I think we're doing almost as well as those Hairy Hogs, you know.
Their only drawback, really, is actually getting the engine started in the jeep.
I had Darrell standing over it going, "It could be half an hour ish.
"The carburettor didn't work.
"Think it might be the starter.
Not really sure.
" It was the kind of Scrapheap half an hour that can lengthen, maybe, to three hours.
The one thing that The Thirsty Knights have got that works is their engine.
Got the little beetle there, running really well, and they were gonna do some extraordinarily complicated, um, independent steering paddle thing, and that's not gonna work.
No.
Far too complicated.
Well, they can't find the bits.
They do get their heads down and get on with it.
They don't muck about, do they? And Bill's very disappointed about not getting his independent rollers.
Of course, whoever does this, whoever wins this competition, I keep forgetting that, is gonna go through to the final.
I know, 'cause the Hairy Hogs seem to be very laid-back.
Yeah.
But I think underneath Underneath, they have that jollity.
Absolutely.
'Cause they want to win the final, without a doubt.
Unless they get their engine going, propeller attached to their engine, don't have any idea how they're gonna steer it.
Yes.
With The Thirsty Knights, it's anyone's guess as to whether they're really, really excited or dreading getting through to the final.
I mean 'Cause they are enigmatic.
They've taken enigmatic to a new level.
And, of course, a lot of their face is covered by facial hair.
The bits you look at to distinguish what they're thinking, just a mass of fur.
ROBERT: And that fur starts to fly as Roo questions the Knights' priorities.
Alright, so, don't worry about the welding.
But I'd like to get this together, 'cause then we can split up.
I would like to just weld that top bit up.
(INDISTINCT VOICE ON RADIO) It's where? I thought we'd go back to that.
Well, if you want to play welding, you go play welding, son.
'Cause we had this the last time.
Eh? We had this the last time.
You end up with loads to do right at the end.
Trouble is, there's an awful lot of welding left to do as well.
Right, you do that.
Bill's obviously used to being in charge and has taken up quite a lot of the rein.
Don't worry about the welding for a bit, boys.
Let's get our bits in so we can get fabricating the next stage.
LISA: So, what does Captain Pete make of this potential mutiny on deck? Our expert has got very much ideas of his own.
And I think he's, uh he'd like to stick to his own way of doing things, maybe not as receptive to other people's ideas as we might like, but we're bringing him round.
Uh, teams, your attention, please.
You have six hours remaining.
Six hours construction time remaining.
LISA: With just over half the build time remaining, Bill's pipe dream needs to get a move on.
That'll do.
That'll do for now.
ROBERT: So, wielding a welder rather than a lance, our noble Knights have turned the corner and finally seem to be working as a team.
Well, there's a bit of luck.
These two are now ready to weld on, yeah? On your lines.
On the lines.
That's the centre lines.
Well, I'm very impressed with how both teams are doing.
I mean, the Hairy Hogs' is you know, looks like it's done.
They've got a big ship there.
Yes, it's, um Yeah, it's an interesting design which, uh I wasn't aware that they were going for the semi-submersible option.
Yes, it does look the sort of central support plinth is quite low.
Yes, it's a little lower than I would have thought.
The Thirsty Knights, I know, have had a fairly major change of plans.
They were gonna have independently driven paddles, weren't they? Now they're gonna go just for, like, a single roller.
I think that's what I'd always favoured the single roller, to be fair, with just a simple rudder at the back.
Um, of course, control will be quite fun.
I expect they'll have quite a large rudder.
And if they can streamline the bow section, then it could be quite an effective solution.
So have you changed your mind at all, Steve, about which one you prefer? I mean, you're still sticking with the Hairy Hogs as your favourite at the moment? Um, nothing's really changed from what I said originally, that from a design perspective, the Hairy Hogs What a delightful terminology.
do have the edge on design.
LISA: The Hogs may have it for Steve, but Pete leads from the front using some fine engineering.
ROBERT: Next door, the technique is more, um, agricultural.
Oh, yes! (LAUGHS) ROBERT: With the launch of HMS 'Albion' in 2001, a new era in landing craft technology came into being.
With the mother ship's high-tech floodable deck, berthing four 240-tonne landing craft, it's like something from a James Bond film.
The landing craft are 30 metres long and 7.
5 metres wide.
With stern and bow ramps speeding up the loading and unloading of their payload of troops and machines they can operate over a wide range of 600 miles in climates from the Arctic to the tropics and accommodate its crew at sea for up to two weeks, keeping the landing craft at the heart of a modern navy.
LISA: Back at the heap, without a working engine and struggling with radiators for ramps, the Hogs try to get their personnel carrier into position.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
What happened then? ROBERT: So as the sun starts to set over the yardarm, the Knights seem finally to be on a roll, and Bill clearly hopes to hammer home the point that things are looking brighter for his motley crew as they apply the finishing touches to their rollers.
Hey, Thirsty Knights.
So You've got the rollers.
That's gonna go in there.
Um, what else have you got to do? It seems like you're fairly controlled.
No, no, no.
We're nothing like in control.
Really? No, we're completely, uh, thrashing about in the dark, I'd say.
Pete! That's not good.
No, we've got little rollers to go.
And where are the little rollers going? Uh, near the big roller.
So the wheel sits in between them.
So it's basically providing a little V for the Yep.
for the wheels to sit on.
So, Frog, do you feel like you're thrashing about in the dark? Absolutely, yes.
That's what we're best at.
Is it a bit more stressful this time? A change of tack, I'd say.
Yeah.
We're trying a new approach.
Yes.
LISA: What's the new approach? Being really stressed.
Thrashing about in the dark, yes.
Oh, no.
'Cause it doesn't really suit you, being stressed.
'Cause you're quite Zen usually, 'cause you're your Buddhist vegan self, but underneath that calm exterior, is your heart going a little bit now? Mmm, a bit.
Just a little bit? Just a tiny bit.
Well, look, guys, I'm gonna leave you to get on with it, 'cause there's not a huge amount of time left, and you've got an awful lot to do.
So I'll leave you to get on with it.
I'll see you later, Thirsty Knights.
ROBERT: With time moving along, both teams have plenty to worry about.
The Hogs have yet to get their jeep's engine actually working.
Hoping for a spark of inspiration, Darrell spruces up the splines that will transfer the engine's power to the propeller.
That's if Sim and Conn can wrestle it free first.
Then they must bodge up a bracket to mount the whole thing to the raft.
LISA: While the Knights must fix their newly made roller in position before adding the smaller rollers, ramps and, of course, make sure the pontoon is watertight.
Don't worry.
Put 'em on.
Put 'em on.
I was just lining up.
Yeah, it's got to move a bit, yep.
That's good enough for us, boys.
ROBERT: Darrell decides to have one last fiddle with the engine as Sim and Conn work on mounting the propeller and rudder at the rear of the raft.
You want the posts (ENGINE STARTS) Ooh.
Ooh.
Ooh.
Oh, it's gonna go.
(ENGINE RUMBLES) (ALL CHEER) Ho-ho! ROBERT: A delighted Darrell does the business.
At long last, the pigs have some poke for their propeller.
The drive shaft, the drive shaft, the drive shaft.
ROBERT: Darrell sorts the rest of the drive shaft as expert Sim readies the rudder.
Ah, evening, Hogs.
Hi, Lisa.
My word, this is all looking, um, really organised and together and nearly finished.
Is it? Is that just an illusion? We know more than you do.
Now, you're very jolly and jovial and laughing about this, but how seriously do you want to win this? Do you really want to be in the Scrapheap final? Yes.
Who doesn't? That's what we're here for.
We are gonna be in the final.
Oh, that's the line that I'm foisting for, Darrell.
Go on, get in there.
Excellent stuff.
Do you think it's going to be a massive time disadvantage the time it takes you to actually link your drive shaft to your prop? No.
How fast do you reckon you'll be able to do that? Um, 20 seconds.
So just 20 seconds? Yeah.
Do you think that's realistic, Sim? Totally.
I'd say more like 15, but Oh.
Be very careful.
You're verging on smug.
That's what'll happen.
Well, look, you've done a brilliant build.
It looks fantastic.
I can't wait to see it in action.
Well done.
I'll see you later on.
Bye-bye.
ROBERT: Sparks fly as the white-hot Knights fight to finish their craft.
(RINGS BELL) Teams, you have one hour remaining, teams.
One hour remaining.
The end is nigh.
You see, Hairy Hogs, I popped in to see them a little while ago.
I'm a bit worried they might be a little bit too smug and gloating.
It's always a danger, isn't it? Always worries me when teams do that.
And also, it's gonna take I think it's gonna take a long time They get the car on, then they've got to do a lot of clicky joining up.
There's a lot of that to do before they even start moving.
They think that's gonna take 15 to 20 seconds.
You know what I was saying about gloating and overconfidence? Point made.
The Thirsty Knights, the one thing we know is they're gonna drive onto that big pontoon, the wheels drop onto the rollers and they can go.
The paddle size is a concern.
I think there's an Action Man boat you can get that has bigger paddles than that - they've gone for the biggest floaty thing with the smallest They're like five lollipop sticks with sort of cards stuck on the end.
But, you know, that's it.
They've got plenty of power to turn them.
And it might be that once they get that thing moving and it just goes "Tsh-tsh-tsh-tsh-tsh" You know, it is impossible to tell.
I think there is a conspiracy with The Thirsty Knights, you know.
They know exactly what's gonna happen and they're not telling anyone.
Shall we start panicking now or what? ROBERT: With time ticking away, the Knights push on with their paddles, while the Hogs confidently start tidying up their sty.
Let's have her up.
Whoa! That's it.
LISA: Finally, the Knights' cargo's on and is ready for use.
BILL: Yes! Yes! Come on, my boys.
At the pump.
Let's go.
Five, four, three, two, one.
(RINGS BELL) Teams, please cease your endeavours.
That's it.
Eight bells have tolled.
Your time is up.
The 10 hours have gone.
LISA: Yes, teams, tomorrow, it's launch day on the lake.
Well done, teams.
Excellent build.
Well done.
ROBERT: As our teams battle for a place in the final, will our winners be those high rollers The Thirsty Knights and their paddle-powered pontoon? Or could victory go to the Hairy Hogs and their jeep-toting blue-barrelled catamaran? They'll go bow-to-bow in their landing crafts around this course.
Setting off from HQ here, they'll drive at full speed to here.
Once aboard their craft, they'll engage their drive systems and race at full speed to enemy territory here, being careful to avoid enemy submarines here, here and here.
Once there, they must rescue their commander.
With him safely aboard, they have to get him back to HQ as soon as possible via this route here.
Lovely.
ROBERT: Our teams ready their rudders to face each other in a briny battle to reach the final.
But first they must take the plunge and see if their leaky landers actually float.
LISA: Well, they seem shipshape, but what does our judge think? Two worries for the two teams - for the Hairy Hogs, lining up the vehicle on their drive system.
Sure.
I'm not quite sure how they're gonna manage that.
Yes, but I think they've taken a very wise precaution in that they've got some sort of lining-up chocks which they've since welded on during their tinkering period.
And then with The Thirsty Knights, I mean, my big concern, and I don't seem to be on my own with that, is the size of their paddles and the potential speed that they're going to be spinning at.
If they're doing 500 r.
p.
m.
, there's not gonna be a lot of water left.
There's just gonna be sort of steam coming off them.
Well, it's Well, there'll be a lot of foam generated, yeah.
ROBERT: With experts marooned and the sub fleet patrolling the straits, landing craft at the ready, our teams are set fair for their mission.
So, Hairy Hogs, this is it, the big one.
Yes.
Any last-minute nerves? Yes.
Yes.
Are you quite nervous? Bit nervous now.
'Cause you know This is it.
The place in the Scrapheap final is at stake.
Get it wrong (IMITATES THROAT CUTTING) it's all over.
Not wanting to make you feel worse or anything.
Thank you.
Best of luck.
So, Thirsty Knights, this is the big one.
Are you nervous as the Hogs? No, I think Bill's doing the worrying for us.
I mean, how determined are you to win this? Does it really matter to you getting to the final? Yes.
No.
No.
Ish.
As long as it's fun, don't matter.
Long as you're having a good time? Yeah.
Well, best of luck to both teams.
See you later.
Thank you.
Right, troops, are you ready to embark? ALL: Yes! Can you plot a course to the final? ALL: Yes! Victory is within your grasp.
Very, very good luck, chaps.
Good show! (ENGINES RUMBLE) OK, teams, get ready to load.
Go on the sound of the horn.
(SQUEEZES HORN) Oh, it's a great start.
The land bit's very impressive.
Yep.
ROBERT: Both reversing on.
Yeah, there's nothing between them at the moment.
Out.
STEVE: No, this is really tricky for the Hairy Hogs.
ROBERT: Very narrow, very narrow.
He's got to get it just spot-on.
Forward, forward.
Quick, quick.
Alright.
STEVE: More haste, less speed there.
And The Thirsty Knights have got the edge.
They're on.
ROBERT: They're just about on.
STEVE: And they're straight up on that ramp and they're going.
ROBERT: Oh.
Are they already in position? Yep, yep.
That's it.
They're ready to drive now.
That's as we expected, isn't it? Come on, over this way.
Right.
Quick, quick, quick.
Come on.
That's it, that's it.
Whoa.
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Right, back, boys, back, back.
Back a wee bit.
Back, back.
Forward.
Right.
Back, back.
Handbrake on.
Front wheel, front wheel.
Yes, yes.
I know, I know.
STEVE: There they go.
They're on their way now.
At least the paddles are turning.
Not an automatic movement yet.
Are we afloat? I think so.
We away? We're moving.
ROBERT: Oh, look.
And we have movement here.
Instantaneously.
That's very impressive.
Yeah, very impressive.
Go ahead, go.
Go.
Here, we need to get this up.
Alright, alright.
The ramp.
Pull in the ramp.
Just pull it.
Come on, pull.
Well, both craft are moving.
Certainly, the Knights are moving with more splash and fuss than the Hairy Hogs, but they are going.
First.
Reverse.
Reverse, aye, yeah.
The Hogs seem to be having some kind of steering problem at the moment.
ROBERT: Which looks like it's given a head start to the Knights.
It is going along now, 'cause at the beginning, their paddles were going like mad and there was no movement, was there? There's no point in you steering.
Don't bother steering! I'm not sure if anybody's actually told the Hogs they have to come through these enemy submarines.
Oh, no, no.
They're managing to turn round now.
We're doing alright.
Take it easy now.
Take it easy.
You might have to slow off a bit.
And the Hogs are in the lead.
The Knights' paddles seem to be going round, making a lot of splash and fuss, but not getting them very far.
ROBERT: So it's a slow boat to China for the Knights, letting the hare-like Hogs hop ahead as they reach their expert first.
Keep coming, keep coming.
I'm gonna spin you.
I'm gonna spin you round, alright? Yep.
Get on the front of that ramp, mate.
Get on the front of the ramp there.
Concentrate on what you're doing.
I'm alright, mate.
I'm alright.
Bill might have a longer wait, by the looks of things.
(HORN HONKS) Easy, mate, easy! ROBERT: They're flashing their lights.
There's a lot of showing off going on here.
ROBERT: At last, the Knights reach their expert.
Well, she's running alright.
We needed bigger paddles.
Lovely.
Shut the engines down.
So we can pull around.
Shape it the right way.
(HORN HONKS) Shut up with the horn! ROBERT: With the Hogs halfway home, expert Bill clambers aboard.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, we're right.
Away you go.
Falling across someone's head here.
ROBERT: A long way astern and desperate, Frog floors it.
Alright.
Working my way forward.
STEVE: They're really beating the water up there and trying to make up for the surface area of the paddles with the speed.
But, I mean, really, if they were to slow down a touch, they would probably get a better propulsion effect.
I'm alright.
That makes the fastest progress.
Almost idle.
We just need to pick up speed.
(LAUGHS) Shut up! Look at the Hairy Hogs.
I mean, they are doing so well.
ROBERT: They're nearly home.
They're coming in for the beach landing now.
There we go.
Look at that, look.
Oh, look at that.
And now down ramp and offload.
Engage front-wheel drive.
And no need for them to rush at this at all.
ROBERT: No.
Switch her off now.
We need to pop these hubs.
I said a turn, not a knot! Jeepers! Who put that? Alastair! Come on! Get a knife.
ROBERT: Come on, undo that knot.
STEVE: Yep.
ROBERT: The Hogs thought they'd tied it up, and, yes, it's still tied up.
We're gonna lose 'cause of that there, boy.
Oh, yeah, alright.
What are you doing? I can't bear if they're gonna lose the whole race 'cause of one knot.
Come on, Alastair! Dang varmints! Hee-how! Come on, boys! Come on! There we go.
Get on.
Everybody on.
No, we get on here.
Everybody on.
Fast as you can.
(ALL CHEER) Who's your daddy? STEVE: Won handsomely.
But in terms of visual effect, though, Robert, what do you think of that? I mean, that really does look very good, doesn't it? ROBERT: It does prove that high-speed paddles, they do work in the sense that they are moving.
But they They certainly are.
And indeed, I dare say they've raised the temperature of the lake here by a few degrees.
That's in.
Off we go.
Ready? Ready.
After three.
They've got to lever the car up to get it off the rollers.
One, two, three, go.
Away you go.
Just go for it, my son.
Wait for me! Oh, they've left STEVE: Look what's happened.
They've left Bill behind! Hey, what about me? You've even got the bloody paddles! (ALL LAUGH) No.
Jump for it, I think.
There's only one solution here.
Come on, then, start again.
(LAUGHS) They're actually swimming out to give the paddles to the expert to try and get him in.
Oh, how lovely.
Oh, thank you, team.
I thought you'd deserted me, you know.
I really did.
(SINGS) On your way Here on the sea Come on, then.
Hi there, Jim lad.
Abandon ship.
How do? Come on, Knights.
Yee-ha! HOGS: Come on! Come on! Well, they finished with good humour and style.
Yeah, they refused to give up.
(LAUGHS) Well done.
What did you think when they left you out there in the middle of the sink? I thought they didn't love me anymore.
I thought, "My crap design, and now they're gonna make me pay for it.
" Well, teams, thanks again for another terrific challenge.
Just once in a while, we get a test that makes us all genuinely fall about laughing.
And so special thanks has to go to The Thirsty Knights.
You gave us the best laugh of the series.
Well done, Thirsty Knights.
But this week's resounding winners are the Hairy Hogs.
(ALL CHEER) Well done.
ROBERT: Excellent.
LISA: Oh, dear.
LISA: Oh, dear.
(CHEERING)