Stargate SG-1 s07e09 Episode Script

Previously on "Stargate SG1": They are so cool.
Savour the moment, gentlemen.
They're in trouble.
- What would O'Neill do if he was here? - You want me to shoot you? - We're here to rescue you.
- We allowed ourselves to be captured on purpose.
This is great.
Sneakin' around with you in a Goa'uld pyramid on an alien planet.
The one thing missing is some Jaffa chasing us.
(Coombs) Felger?.
Jay? - What? - Snap out of it.
- Sorry.
- Calibration scales for the power source? Right there.
Right there.
What time is it? It's two minutes past the last time you asked me.
- She should be here any second.
- Relax, Jay.
Relax? We are on the verge of a major scientific breakthrough.
This weapon could be the key factor in our fight against the Goa'uld! Is it defeating the Goa'uld you're worried about or impressing Major Carter? Unlike some people in this room, I've seen what the Goa'uld can do first-hand.
I know.
You've told me a thousand times.
You rescued SG-1 from the evil Lord Whatshisname.
Her'ak.
He wasn't an evil lord.
He was a first prime.
Jay, you're a brilliant scientist.
Some day you'll win the Nobel prize.
What do you care what these military types think of you? You don't get it.
When you've stood side by side with someone and faced death, it creates an unspoken bond.
An understanding that transcends simple friendship.
Colonel O'Neill and I have been to hell and back together.
When the mission was over, you know what he said? He said Is this gonna take long? - Colonel O'Neill.
- Folger.
- Felger.
I wasn't expecting you, sir.
- Yes.
Well, Major Carter said this was important.
D-d-d-d-don't touch it, please.
This is a finely calibrated device.
It fires a focused plasma pulse.
Whoo boom! It's an energy-based weapon, sir.
It could perhaps replace the missiles on the X-303.
- Phaser? - More like a photon torpedo.
My assistant Chloe.
There you are.
- Chloe.
- This is all based on a Goa'uld design.
If you'll join me to the rear of the weapon, we'll proceed with the demonstration.
My friends, I present to you (chuckles) .
.
the 22nd century! (humming) (humming crescendoes) That wasn't supposed to happen.
I am really sorry, General.
I assure you nothing like this will ever happen again.
It won't, because I'm pulling the plug on your research.
No, please, General.
It was a minor glitch.
We are so close to a working prototype.
You've said that for the last six months.
In fact, I've reviewed your records.
Most of the projects you've overseen during your tenure here have been similarly long on promise and short on results.
What exactly are you saying? I'm saying it may be time for the Air Force to rethink your position here.
That'd be a mistake.
It just so happens that I'm working on a line of research, and it's Well, I'm on the verge of a major breakthrough, really.
- Really? - Really, yes, yes.
It's gonna be huge! It's gonna make the plasma weapon look like a squirt gun, sir.
- What is it? - Hm? - What is it? - Well, I'm not ready for a presentation yet.
I still gotta crunch a few numbers and dot a few i's.
I could probably have something ready by the end of next week.
- You have 24 hours.
- More than enough time.
- Dismissed.
- Thank you.
- What were you thinking? - I don't know! I had to say something.
They were gonna fire me.
Besides, all we have to do is think of something to change the balance of power in the galaxy by noon tomorrow.
You have anything in mind? As a matter of fact I do - Avenger.
You gotta be kidding.
It's nowhere near ready.
It's just an idea.
- We can make it work.
- Jay, this is exactly your problem.
You try so hard to impress people, you always bite off more than you can chew.
OK, yes, you're right.
I have to start setting more realistic goals for myself.
Right after this project, OK? - A computer virus? - The gate system's just linked computers.
Delivering the virus is as easy as dialling the target gate, uploading the program.
The virus would scramble the DHD's coordinates.
So the symbols no longer correspond with the proper coordinates.
- And the target gate would be useless.
- The Goa'uld rely heavily on gate travel.
It would be a tactical advantage for us, don't you think? - It's interesting.
- Really? But you don't have a finished program.
Uh, well, not "finished" per se, no.
I really still have to - Crunch a few numbers, dot a few i's.
- Exactly, yeah.
I'll look at it.
If it shows promise, I'll take it to Hammond.
- Oh, yes, OK! - Whoa, whoa.
- Don't celebrate yet.
It's not a done deal.
- Of course not.
Of course not.
Yes! Yes! Where am I? How did she get me here? You'd rather stay and geek out a computer program than come with us? Don't take it personally, sir.
This research shows promise.
It's Felger.
- He did save our lives, Colonel.
- Yeah, don't remind me.
The ability to disable any gate we choose is a valuable weapon against the Goa'uld.
- If it works.
- That's what I intend to find out.
Don't forget your safety glasses.
Marines, thanks for joining us.
Let's move out.
To be honest, Major, I share some of the colonel's scepticism.
I know Dr Felger's record is a little sketchy, but I think he shows potential.
All he needs is a little support.
(knock at door) Just a minute.
Oh, jeez.
I'll be with you in a second.
Just, you know, putting the dogs out.
- Oh, Major Carter.
- I was in the neighbourhood.
- This isn't a bad time, is it? - Oh, no, no.
Please, come in, come in.
Just, you know, just, uh, really wasn't, uh, expecting anyone.
Sorry.
- Nice place.
- Oh, thank you.
I was having it fumigated.
- Can I offer you anything? - No, no, I'm fine.
Oh, all righty.
Please, please.
Uh, what, uh, what brings you by? I took your proposal to General Hammond.
- And? - He's agreed to give you another chance.
Oh, thank God.
Oh, thank God.
That's great.
That's great.
Cos I thought I was so done for after that little incident thing.
- There is one condition.
- Sure.
OK.
He wants me to work on the project with you.
That'd be, uh, you? - Yeah.
That's not a problem, is it? - No, no, no.
God, no, no.
What about SG-1? - Daniel's working on a relocation project.
- The moon in the decaying orbit? They're experiencing severe seismic disturbances and weather anomalies.
What about Colonel O'Neill? Teal'c? They've some negotiations with the rebel Jaffa leaders.
- There's been some infighting, rivalries.
- Well, they have to settle that.
Yeah, yeah.
I guess that means you get stuck with me, then.
No, no, I wouldn't put it that way.
I think the basic idea behind the virus is actually quite brilliant.
No - Really? - Yeah.
- A tie? - I wear ties.
And cologne? There is nothing wrong with a man taking pride in his appearance and smell.
This wouldn't have anything to do with Major Carter, would it? - Don't be ridiculous.
- Here.
Let me.
Of course, you do have to admit she possesses one of the most brilliant scientific minds of our generation.
And a pair of legs that won't quit Agh! - OK.
OK.
- Sorry.
Well, anyway, what chance has a guy like me got with a woman like that? She barely notices me.
Know what that's like? A little.
- Morning.
- Oh, hi.
Hi.
- Nice tie.
- Oh, thanks.
We think the virus is ready.
Of course, there's no real way to test it, except on another gate.
- Do you have a target in mind? - P5S-117.
Ba'al's main naqahdah mining site.
If we can disable the gate, we'd disrupt his supply network.
How will we know if it's successful? A Tok'ra operative there can relay the results via their communication network.
Send the virus.
Yes, sir.
You'll wear a hole in the floor.
Those Tok'ra are taking their sweet time.
We should've heard something by now.
(technician) Major Carter to the control room.
Major Carter to the control room.
That's it.
(technician) Chevron seven locked.
- What are you doing here? - What's going on? Colonel O'Neill and Teal'c missed a scheduled radio contact.
Getting a video signal, sir.
Colonel O'Neill, this is Hammond.
Do you read? - Nice to hear from you, General.
- What's your status? The mission was going according to plan, then we hit a little snag.
We can't dial the gate.
- Say again? - We cannot get an outgoing wormhole.
We've tried all kinds of addresses, but we can't get a lock.
Stand by, Colonel.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
This is just a coincidence.
There's no way this could have anything to do with my virus.
No Could it? There's no way Avenger could have anything to do with this.
- Avenger? - That's what I call the virus.
It's named after a comic book I read when I was a kid.
The Amazing Avenger?.
Green tights, purple cape.
He was super strong, super fast.
Not as fast as The Flash.
That would be ridiculous.
Of course, this isn't ringing any bells with anybody, is it? - Could we have sent it to the wrong gate? - No, sir.
We double-checked.
The virus was sent here - P5S-117.
Colonel O'Neill is on P3C-249, which is here.
Within the gate systems the planets are close together - about 400 light years - but that doesn't mean anything.
- And until we hear back from the Tok'ra - (man) Unscheduled offworld activation.
(Stargate alarm) Sir, we're receiving an audio transmission.
It's the Tok'ra.
- This is Theless of the Tok'ra.
- This is Hammond of Stargate Command.
General, I'm afraid I have to report a series of malfunctions in the gate system.
Malfunctions? Several gates have gone offline.
As yet, we have no idea why.
We are gathering information.
This is Major Carter.
Do you have any data on a planet we've designated P5S-117? One moment, please.
We're still waiting for a sub-space transmission.
- Can you send us any data you do have? - Affirmative.
Transmission received.
Sir, I'll need a few minutes to analyse this.
Go.
I'll go help.
(Carter) There it is.
- I still don't see how this is possible.
- Automatic correlative updates.
I thought those happened once every 200 years.
That was the theory.
Major Carter, report.
Sir, first I recommend you recall all of our offworld teams immediately.
It's already being done.
The mining team from P4F-221 is coming through now.
- You might wanna tell them to hurry it up.
- What have you got? This is the original target gate.
This is Colonel O'Neill's position.
These are the gates first reported offline by the Tok'ra.
A few minutes later several more.
They're spreading out from the original gate.
Yes, sir.
You still think this is a coincidence? Well, sir, we think we may have an explanation.
We know the gate network undergoes periodic correlative updates to compensate for stellar drift.
We've never witnessed it, but we believe the gates dial each other automatically to transmit the new coordinates that apply.
And you believe Dr Felger's virus initiated one of these updates? It may have triggered an automatic internal protocol in the DHD.
Before adapting the new coordinates, it dialled out and transmitted them to a few neighbouring gates, who then transmitted to a few more, and so on and so on - And so on.
- Is there any way we can stop it? No time, sir.
If each gate only dials two others before adapting to the new system, the entire network will be infected in less than two hours.
We need to focus on getting as many people back as possible, sir.
He's really mad, isn't he? That's the last of the miners, sir.
Shut it down.
What's next? P3L-997.
- That's Daniel's team, sir.
- Dial it.
OK, breathe.
Everything's gonna be fine.
- Grover Cleveland High School.
- What? Chemistry 201.
I had an incident with my midterm lab.
They got the fire under control, but poor Mr Hoffman's eyebrows never grew back.
I should have got out of science right then and saved everybody the trouble.
This is SGC.
You wouldn't be here if you weren't good at what you do.
You tell that to Colonel O'Neill! (clears throat) - How many teams came back? - Three.
- Out of how many? - 15.
The rest are stranded.
- And Dr Jackson? - His team's still offworld.
Oh, this is awful.
The flood waters are rising, but they're safe for the time being.
(phone rings) Carter.
- General.
- General Hammond.
Yes, sir.
I understand.
We contacted the Tok'ra.
According to their intelligence, the entire gate network is down.
(Hammond) Colonel O'Neill, report.
The mission's been compromised, sir.
Looks like one of the Jaffa commanders sold us out.
Go figure! - What happened? - The negotiations were going just fine, then the gate broke down.
After that, they all started accusing each other of sabotage and all hell broke loose.
Sir, we think we know what caused your gate to malfunction.
It was the virus.
Felger's virus?! It created a new coordinate system that spread to all DHDs.
But, since we don't have a DHD, we have the only gate that can dial out.
I told you not to trust that brown-nosing little weasel! He doesn't know I'm standing here, does he? - Sir, I'm as responsible as anyone else.
- (Teal'c) O'Neill.
We've got incoming, sir.
It's Alkesh! - We lost video.
- Must have hit the MALP.
- He was just standing a few feet from it.
- What's your situation? Please respond.
- We're still in one piece, sir.
- Oh, thank God.
We're gonna take cover, sir.
Sir, we could send reinforcements.
They'd be stranded too.
I can't send anyone until we fix this problem.
Let's think this through logically.
The entire gate network is paralysed, but we can still dial out.
We think the virus was spread due to correlative updates initiated by the DHDs.
We have no DHD, so our gate was unaffected.
Right.
It also means another change might result in another system-wide update.
So if we can get just one DHD converted back to the old coordinate system, the gate network would spread it for us.
How, when the new one is based on a completely random principle? There still must be a pattern.
If we can get one DHD to establish a lock with one gate, all we gotta do is compare the addresses and extrapolate a translation program.
That would mean random dialling.
Seven symbols chosen from a pool of 38 non-repeating candidates? That's about 63 billion possible combinations.
She's good with numbers.
I was gonna get her to do my taxes.
- Any word from Colonel O'Neill, sir? - No.
We hope he's just out of range.
Yes, sir.
According to our latest report, Ba'al is trying to take advantage of the situation.
- How so? - At the moment he has the largest fleet.
So with the gate system down he has the advantage.
He's attacking the other System Lords on several fronts, and he's winning.
(mobile phone rings) (phone rings) Stargate Command, Felger speaking.
Mom, Mom, no, no, no.
I told you not to call me here.
You're not supposed to have this number.
I'm sorry I didn't call.
I had to work late.
Something came up.
If you must know, Mom, I screwed up again.
Yeah, and I think this is the worst one yet.
No, no, it's worse than that one.
No, worse than that one too, Mom.
Mom, Mom, Mom, I don't need a list of my personal failures right now, OK? To tell you the truth, I don't know if I can fix this one (clears throat) I'll have to get back to you on that, Simon, OK? All righty, bye-bye friend.
It's Coombs.
He says hi.
- Jay, I know you feel bad about this.
- What's to feel bad about? It took the Ancients 1,000 years to build the gate system, and I wrecked it in a day.
I've also isolated us from all the resources we'll need to defend ourselves, leaving us sitting ducks for the next Goa'uld attack.
But who cares? I need you to get past feeling guilty and focus on finding a solution.
- But you never make mistakes.
- I don't? - You're perfect.
Everybody knows that.
- Jay, I'm not perfect.
You have to say that because you're modest, which is just another aspect of your perfection.
- Ever heard of a planet called K'Tau? - That wasn't your fault.
I bypassed dialling protocols that made the wormhole pass through K'Tau's sun.
It could have led to the deaths of everyone on that planet.
- That's it! Even your mistakes are perfect.
- What are you talking about? You bypassed a security protocol because you created a dialling program.
- So? - So we can do that here.
Instead of restoring the DHD program to its original form, why not upload everything from our dialling computer? Our program is not as sophisticated as the one that exists in the DHDs.
It doesn't have to be perfect, just accurate.
The DHD will automatically make all necessary adjustments.
- How do you know that? - Well, it's OK, I don't, I don't.
But the fact that Avenger triggered a correlative update seems to indicate that the DHD program is adaptive by its very nature.
Plus, we have nothing else.
Trust me, Major, this is gonna work! Yeah, sorry to rain on your parade, guys, but it didn't work.
It should have worked.
We tried dialling Earth, but we couldn't get a lock.
Maybe there's something wrong with the upload.
You can upload better, huh? If you've got any other bright ideas, now would be a very good time.
- What's your status, Doctor? - Flood water's rising pretty fast, seismic activity is causing rogue waves.
We estimate that within 48 hours the entire city will be under water.
It should have worked! Have you and Dr Felger made any progress? - I can't find him.
- Excuse me? Apparently he left the base.
The pressure was getting to him.
- You said all he needed was support.
- I may have been wrong about that.
OK, I admit it.
He's a complete screwup.
He makes rash decisions based on sketchy evidence, he's clumsy in the lab and it wouldn't kill him to ease up on the aftershave, but the fact is he's at Stargate Command because he's a brilliant scientist.
No one understands that virus better than he does.
Then I suggest you get him back.
Yes, sir.
Jay, what're you doing here? We've got work to do.
- How did you find me here? - I called your mother.
She told me this is where you come when you need to think.
I stood here when I figured out how to recombine epsilon particles in a matrix.
Then I got mugged by some teenagers.
Still, it's a nice spot, though.
What are you doing? Feeding the ducks.
I need you to come back to Stargate Command.
Before I joined SGC, my idea of a high-pressure situation was defending a mathematical thesis in front of a roomful of balding men.
I don't do well when the fate of the universe hangs in the balance.
Jay, you designed the virus.
You're the man for the job.
Forget about the big picture for a second, and the consequences.
Just focus on the problem.
- Why didn't the upload work? - I don't know.
It should've.
Every gate in the galaxy should be back online, except for P5S-117.
What do you mean? Avenger's resistant to that type of tampering.
I didn't think it made a difference, since P5S-117 was sabotaged in the first place.
Jay, what if the virus replicated itself and then travelled along to the other DHDs? No, it wasn't designed to do that.
It wasn't designed to trigger a correlative update either.
You said it yourself, Jay.
The DHD program is adaptive.
- Sir, we may have found a solution.
- Let's hear it.
- You want me to tell it? - It's your project.
We think we know why we can't upload our dialling program into the gate system.
It now looks like the virus itself somehow transmitted, with the new coordinates, to the entire DHD network.
- The virus is blocking the upload.
- That's right.
We need to neutralise it first, but in order to do that, we have to find it.
I don't understand.
Well, the truth is, we don't know how the virus was transmitted.
If it piggybacked with the automatic update, it's in the dialling program itself.
Could be thousands of lines of code - like looking for a needle in a haystack.
But it exists within a specific sub-routine in the original target DHD on P5S-117.
The catch is, to make this work, we have to reboot the system, which means removing the control crystal.
Someone's gonna have to go to the planet, sir.
- P5S-117 is controlled by Ba'al.
- Yes, sir.
General, I'd like to volunteer.
Major Carter has the experience required for this mission.
Come on, I've got offworld experience.
I battled the Goa'uld.
I zatted a Jaffa.
- Sir, it would be better if we both went.
- Major Carter's right.
Nobody knows more about Avenger than me.
- Jay, this is crazy.
- I caused this problem.
I'm gonna fix it.
You're a research scientist, not a field operative.
Did that stop me from infiltrating a Goa'uld mothership? I think not.
They've sent the MALP.
The gate's not even being guarded.
Probably cos it doesn't work any more, but don't worry about me.
I know what I'm doing, OK? - Jay? - Mm? The antivirus.
OK, yeah, yeah, I'm gonna need that.
All righty.
What? Wh-what was that for? Good luck.
Oh, right.
You get set up.
I'll be back soon.
- Where are you going? - I'm gonna check out the area.
Shouldn't we stick together, in case you need backup or something? I'll be fine.
OK.
I'm good too! (O'Neill) Jaffa landed the Alkesh.
Teal'c and I have organised a counterattack.
Be advised, Colonel.
Major Carter has gone to P5S-117.
She's attempting to get the gate system back online.
- That's occupied territory, sir.
- Yes, it is.
What team did she take? She didn't want to risk stranding anyone else.
- She went alone? - Not entirely.
Dr Felger's with her.
I'm inspired with confidence.
(buzzing) There's no sign of any Jaffa activity in the area.
I'm in.
I'm in.
Whoo! Just a sec, just a sec.
- OK, something's wrong.
- What? This isn't Avenger.
I mean, it is, but something's hinky.
- Hinky? - Point is, this isn't the program I wrote.
It's been tampered with since it was sent.
- Maybe it was Ba'al.
- Ba'al? Think about it.
He stood the most to gain.
He took your idea and modified it to bring down the entire gate network, - knowing it would give him an advantage.
- That means none of this is my fault.
Avenger wasn't designed to cause a correlative update.
I wouldn't get too excited.
It also means our antivirus won't work.
That's right.
It's designed for the original program.
Which means that we are now stranded on a Goa'uld-occupied world.
So it's kind of a "good news, bad news" situation.
The Jaffa aren't as protective of the gate as they once were, but there'll be a patrol.
- We have to do something.
- Well, I'm open to suggestions here.
You said the virus was modified.
So we need to modify the antivirus to match it.
- Go for it.
- I was hoping you could handle it.
- I was afraid you'd say that! - You wanna do this instead? Do you know how many variations I went through before I got the antivirus right? - This could take days.
- Then you'd better get started.
Yep.
Oh, yeah.
Still no word from Sam? To be honest, we should've heard back by now.
We're gonna have to abandon the Stargate and move to higher ground.
Very well.
Good luck, Dr Jackson.
- How's it coming? - We're getting there.
It's pretty cool, us working together.
We're sort of like the intellectual Butch and Sundance of the SGC.
Butch and Sundance got cornered and killed by the Bolivian army.
That's a good point, yeah.
What? What? What? - We got trouble.
- What kind of trouble? - Think Bolivia.
- Oh! Jaffa? They made our position.
Keep working.
Oh.
Concentrate, Jay.
Concentrate.
Just background noise.
Argh! How's it coming? I'm feeling a little rushed.
Oh! There's not enough time.
There's not enough time.
(engine rumbling) Argh! (horn blows) Whoa, whoa, whoa! O'Neill! It's Colonel O'Neill! Thank God! Oh, you would not believe Felger.
Felger.
Felger! What did I say about touching? Absolutely.
It's just that we were over there, they came, then you over there, but now you're here.
- Nice work.
- How'd you manage this one, sir? We got tired of waiting.
- Major, Doctor, welcome back.
- Sir.
I trust the solution you found is of a permanent nature? Yes, General.
I modified the antivirus to neutralise the altered version of Avenger.
But I also added a patch to ensure The problem is solved, sir.
Permanently.
Dr Jackson managed to get the remaining inhabitants of 997 to the Alpha site.
- Good to hear it, sir.
- What about Colonel O'Neill and Teal'c? They found an alternate means of transport.
I promised the colonel I wouldn't say anything.
He wants it to be a surprise.
- I was so worried about you.
- It was no big deal.
Those Jaffa, they could have killed you.
Not a chance, baby.
What is this? Oh Hi, guys.
I know we're not really supposed to be fraternising, but, hey.
I turn my back for two seconds and you take up with this trollop? Oooh.
Don't blame me just because you were never woman enough to satisfy him.
Ohh! That is it.
(grunting) - Ladies, this isn't necessary - Sh! Don't talk.
(Chloe) Jay? Jay? Jay.
Jay! - What? What? - What were you thinking about? Nothing.