The West Wing s07e10 Episode Script

Good evening.
On December 16th, we lost our dear friend and colleague, John Spencer.
Through our shock and grief, we can think of no more fitting memorial to this wonderful man, this extraordinary actor, than to share with you, beginning tonight, the last few months of his work here on The West Wing.
Johnny, it seems we hardly knew you.
We love you and we miss you.
THE WEST WING Original air date: 01/08/2005 Health care in this country is a mess.
Wait, it's "health care is broken.
" I think "mess" is better.
I know "broken" is what we have a line for but we should work the word "mess" in.
Let's start again.
Health care is a mess.
The system is broken.
"Broke"? "Broken.
" It's what they agreed on.
I'm sorry.
No, no.
Sorry.
What'd you say, "broke" or "broken"? "Broken.
" It sets up the bite better.
Health care in this country is broken, and the Republican Congress's attitude is "seems to be"? "Is," "is" is stronger.
The Republican Congress Congressional Republicans? The Republican Congress's attitude is "If it ain't broke, don't fix it.
" Ah! "Is broke.
" I can't believe I screwed it up.
Idiot! I screwed the line up.
Leo, it's all right.
The Republican Congress's attitude seems to be is.
The Republican Congress's attitude is "If it is broke, don't fix it.
" No, wait.
That's it.
That didn't sound right.
That's the line.
Yeah? That was it.
- Really? - Uh-huh.
Hallelujah.
Anybody got a cigarette? We just started.
I know.
I'd like to smoke it and then have someone shoot me.
I'm sorry.
No, it's fine.
That's what this is for.
Keep going.
Governor Sullivan, your response.
Mr.
McGarry keeps falling back on the same trick.
If it's something good that's happened in the last eight years, he touts his service in the Bartlet White House.
When it's something he disapproves of, he lays the blame on the Republican Congress.
Now, I submit that if the health care system is "broken," it happened on his watch.
If your repairman can't fix something after 8 years of trying, I think the American people realize it's time to try someone else.
Mr.
McGarry? Mr.
McGarry? I need a boy, that's a good answer.
I'm going to need a this "broke" thing is a trap, isn't it? I'm just leading with I'm leading with my chin here.
These canned pre-canned Can we take a break? Yeah, Josh? About the VP debate Sunday, we may have a problem.
He understands this is his last trip home until the election, right? No idea; does he? Let me put it another way: tell him this is his last trip home until the election.
You didn't tell him? Not in so many words.
In any words? Tell me what? Josh says this is your last trip home until the election.
Donna! What? Some deftness, a little finesse.
I know.
He knows.
That's not the point.
Tell Josh to chill.
Josh, chill.
Did you just tell me to chill? It would appear so.
Is it somehow not clear that I'm your boss? Congressman's recommendation.
Oh.
To which I heartily concur.
Yeah, I don't think you tell me to chill.
I wanted to scream it everyday for eight years.
Whatever inhibition prevented you, summon it.
It's here.
I've got to go.
How does Lou look? Like she always does.
It'd be kind of butch on me, but Lou makes it work.
Does she look happy, worried? Uh, stricken might be the word.
Hyperbole, right? Your well-known predilection for panic and exaggeration.
I don't have a predilection for panic and exaggeration.
For the purposes of this moment, let's stipulate that you do.
Is it really that bad? No.
It's worse.
Why won't you and Congressman Santos commit to a pledge not to raise taxes? Because it's a lie.
Is my opponent calling Senator Vinick and myself liars? The American people want the services government provides.
They cost money and have to be paid for.
We're running on acceptable deficits as it is.
He gets better, yes? This is the high-water mark.
Switch it off.
What? Sullivan's a killer.
The kid did what he had to do.
The rest of it's really that bad? Watch it.
Can you fix it? We have to.
The debate's in two days.
Anybody breaths a word of this to the outside, I will devise a punishment that would make blanch.
Why not leak it? Play the expectations game.
That doesn't work when you lower expectations and your guy meets them.
Yeah? Yeah.
It's Leo, line two.
- Hey.
- Hey.
So? I never got to see it.
The machine ate the tape.
You didn't see any of it? No, the damned thing just fried.
Smoke and everything; I was worried it was going to set off the sprinklers.
Was that the only copy? I'd love to review it.
Yeah, it's the only copy.
That's too bad.
So what was the report? Uh, it was good.
Some bumps in spots.
Some things to work on; that's what debate prep is for.
We'll fine tune tomorrow.
Yeah.
Get some rest.
I need you to look pretty for 20 million TV viewers.
If that's what we're counting on, the campaign's doomed.
See you tomorrow.
We should let them set up.
We want pictures.
The candidate's return.
Reconnecting to his loving, photogenic family.
Because God forbid any normal human behaviour should go unpoliticized.
Vinick's kids are approaching menopause.
We want to get some heartwarming footage of your adorable children hugging their hale and vital dad.
Vital.
A subliminal reminder that actuarially, you're far less likely to keel over in the Rose Garden than your esteemed opponent.
They're set.
Out on the lawn? It makes a pretty picture.
Hey, how you doing, how you doing! Buddy, what's happening?! How are you? Take it easy.
He's not feeling well.
Oh, really? What's wrong, buddy? I've got a cold.
- Thank you for that gift.
- Sweetheart! Hey, sweetie.
Welcome home, Daddy.
Oh, thank you, angel.
It's good to be home.
My throat's scratchy.
Okay.
- Hi.
- How are you? I had a little touch of ebola, but I think I'm over the worst of it.
OK.
Hi, guys.
How's it going? We're looking over their shoulder.
Hey, we've got movement in Illinois, solidifying nicely in New Jersey, trending well in Florida.
Mention Illinois.
I think it's definitely tightening up.
Yeah.
Well, fortunately, there's nothing less impactful than the VP debate.
I shouldn't hurt us too bad.
Okay, Bob, talk to you soon.
When I was in business, all I talked was politics.
Now that I'm running for office, all I talk is money.
Shake some loose? We'll see.
So, how did I do? The mock debate? I don't think I have the standing to critique the substance.
Artful dodge.
Uncharacteristic, your usual conversation mode tending more toward blunt instrument.
On style, then.
Oh, that was horrible.
There's the cudgel.
But we can relax your posture, relocate your voice, corral that fidgeting, and knock some years off.
Not again with the Botox.
Hair and makeup room: man's best friend.
Plan to spend some time there.
It's a hair and makeup room.
It's not a time machine.
None of this is your problem.
You're going to tell me what is.
Your smirk.
My what? Yeah, you're doing it now.
No, I'm not.
It's your default expression, Leo.
What are you talk? That's a scowl.
I'm scowling, which is, in itself, probably not great.
That's the way my mouth forms.
From decades of smirking.
In the right context, extremely effective; commanding, reassuring, even devastatingly sexy.
Sexy? In the right context.
In a debate, under the best of circumstances it reads as smug and condescending.
In the context where you're getting waxed by your opponent it comes off as clueless, defensive, and not a little pathetic.
You seem to have graduated from cudgel to bludgeon.
But we're going to fix it.
Are we? There you're scowling again.
I wonder why.
Mr.
McGarry, can you explain why, after eight years of the Bartlet presidency, health care costs have exploded? Three little words: the Republican Congress.
Ehhhh.
Now that calls for a little smirk as underlining punctuation.
It depends: you want to come off as wise or wise-ass? I wasn't done.
Finish.
- Give the Santos-McGarry Administration - No, the whole thing.
Why has the cost of health care exploded under Bartlet? Go.
Three little words: the Republican Congress.
Give the Santos-McGarry Administration a Democratic Congressional majority, we'll bring health costs under control our first year in office.
You're doing it again.
I am not! Leo.
What's this? You want to lose those, clear to the knuckle? I want to see this, not this.
What my life has come to.
And it wouldn't kill you to throw in a few specifics.
I thought you didn't do content.
Ah-ah-ah.
Hey.
Looking for me? I've got a minute.
Can you brief me on this Kazakhstan situation? The press is starting to ask me more questions than I have answers.
Sure.
What do you want to know? Has a deal been structured to keep Chinese troops on their side of the border? That's classified.
So if there was a deal, the details would be? Also classified, if there were details.
- If there was a deal, which is - Classified.
As you said.
Have elections been rescheduled? In Kazakhstan? That's our subject.
Also classified, although for the life of me I can't imagine why.
- You're enjoying this, aren't you? - Not really, no.
Have the parties agreed to U.
N.
monitors in this election that may or may not be rescheduled? Classified.
You're just playing with me now.
Honestly, I'm not.
Is the subject of monitors being discussed? It's in the papers it is.
They didn't hear it from us.
So, it's being considered debated, negotiated anywhere, by anyone? I'm so sorry.
It makes you feel powerful.
"I am woman, hear me withhold.
" - It's not like that.
- A little.
- At moments.
- This moment? - A bit.
- It's disturbingly compelling.
- What's that say about you? - Nothing good.
Well, I want to thank you for all the illuminating help.
Anytime.
It's nice to be home; a little semblance of normalcy.
Normalcy ain't what it used to be.
Well, I'm sorry about all of this.
Small price to pay to have you home.
So, the Secret Service guys, they're okay? They stay outside? It's fine.
All the neighbors, they're alright with guys with dark glasses posted around the house? Are you kidding? They now live on the safest block in America.
Sir, did you want to go somewhere? I was just going to get the mail.
Of course, sir.
We'll just need a few minutes to shut down the street.
To walk to the mailbox? Anytime you go into the front yard.
Do you really need to get into all that? I'm afraid so, sir.
That's okay.
Never mind.
We'll get someone to retrieve the mail for you.
Fine.
Then it'll need to be screened.
Do whatever you have to do.
What's that noise? Those are our vehicles.
We keep their engines running.
The neighbors must love that.
Yes, sir.
"McGarry Debate Debacle"? Where did he get this? Who knows how these bloggers get their information.
Considering he has all the gory details, I'd have to say it was from one of us.
Don't say us, when you mean you.
I didn't leak anything.
Me neither.
I'm this far from ordering polygraph tests.
Nobody mention this to Leo.
His confidence is shaky as it is.
Hey.
You see this? I heard something about it, yeah.
Let's get started.
We evidently have some work to do.
Well, for the record, we discount this blog report as the transparent ploy it so obviously is: old as politics.
We fully expect Leo McGarry to be a fierce and formidable debate opponent.
Off the record? I think you can sum up the mood here at Vinick-Sullivan headquarters as "yippee.
" Yeah, thanks, Harv.
Everyone's got it.
God bless the Internet.
It giveth and it taketh away.
Well, it's giving with both hands on this baby.
Let's not be overconfident.
You know, the best thing about being warned about overconfidence is you have a hell of a reason to feel pretty damn confidant.
I'm not going to be lulled by this.
McGarry is verbal and tough.
It's one thing to argue behind the scenes.
It's a whole other ball game doing it in a debate setting.
Concerned about presentation and tone C larity.
Concision.
It's hard enough for veteran politicians, let alone a neophyte like McGarry.
Leo's no neophyte.
At being a candidate, he is.
You can go balls to the wall all you like in private with the President.
Try doing that in public on TV.
It scares the horses.
We go in just as hard, just as strong, just as focused.
You'll wipe the floor with him.
That was my plan regardless.
If he's really that bad, you might want to dial it back a notch.
You don't want me to look like a bully? The trick is to beat his brains in without making people feel sorry for the guy.
Well, let's get to work.
So, what speech am I giving? Plus the fundraising appeal? - Mm.
- Modified stump.
Modified? Shorter.
Less filling, tastes great.
Hopefully.
It's Houston.
These people know you.
They're sick of hearing me talk.
Conceivably.
Thank you for your support.
De nada.
Anybody speak Spanish here? You want to spend less time telling your friends what they already know and more time looking them in the eye and asking for cash.
There's a squirm factor we're counting on.
I could just hold 'em up-side down by the ankles and give them a good shake.
We may be after more thank what they've got in their pockets.
Hey, this is Houston.
You never know.
It's all about the dinero.
That's money, right? Hey, remember: we're trying to build confidence, so hold back a little.
This is only useful if it's real.
Don't hold back.
Ready? Where's the camera? Uh, no taping.
The only people who need to see it are right here.
No, for my own edification; review.
We don't need you too self-conscious.
No split focus: we want you to concentrate on your performance, not whether your forehead is shining.
For the record, your forehead is gorgeous.
It's actually making me hot.
Let's get started.
Mr.
McGarry, the United States refuses to recognize the U.
N.
International Criminal Court's jurisdiction as it applies to itself, yet implicitly seems to expect the rest of the world to submit to that body's legal authority.
Isn't this arrogant and hypocritical? Yes.
Congressional withholding of recognition of the ICC has been one of the factors contributing to growing international resentment toward the United States.
And I know the argument on the other side: because the U.
S.
regularly takes the leading role in military interventions overseas, it leaves itself especially vulnerable to potentially illegitimate legal claims motivated solely by ideological or political animas with no countervailing checks and balances.
But, to get back to our original position The ICC requires the participation to have true legitimacy of the world's remaining - superpower's sole remaining - Time.
Lou? Okay.
That was good.
You spent, perhaps, a little more time laying out the other side's position rather than your own.
I felt that.
Yeah? Good.
And the language was a bit dense.
Dense? Uh, help me out here.
Dense is good.
It could be more plainspoken.
That's it.
Plainspoken, exactly.
Plainspoken.
Yes, Steve? Do you have an update on the situation in Kazakhstan? Things seem to be in a holding pattern.
Seem to be? I have no information to the contrary.
Has a deal been reached to keep the Chinese and Russian troops from crossing their respective borders? Not that I'm aware of at this time.
Is one currently being negotiated? I couldn't say.
But you could say? I'm sorry.
I should have said, "I have no knowledge of whether an agreement is being discussed or not.
" Are you just obfuscating here? Luckily for all of you if, perhaps not for the administration, should it ever come to that I couldn't possibly pull it off this convincingly.
If it turns out we're on the brink of World War III, this won't seem quite so amusing.
In that horrible event, one might assume we'd all have more pressing concerns.
Mark? There you are.
We finally finished revising those stimulus numbers based upon that latest CBO package.
Is that what you guys have been doing? Every time I walked by there all I heard was people laughing.
Well, we enjoy each other's company.
Evidently.
Is there a problem? It's just that when you said you were coming home and spend time with the kids, I just got the idea that perhaps you were going to spend some time with the kids.
I played with them this morning.
Practically handling them with tongs.
I don't want to get in their faces.
They're sick.
They have head colds.
It's unlikely you'll start bleeding from the eyes.
I'm in the middle of a Presidential campaign.
That's where you've been nights.
I know it's been rough.
The kids being issued panic buttons and the house transformed into an armed camp? A bit of an exaggeration.
Do the windows in here look any different? No, not really.
It's amazing the natural look they can achieve now with bulletproof glass.
Labor Day, the barbeque: I had to provide the Secret Service with everyone's names, Social Security numbers, birthdates.
To come by and have a hot dog, everybody had to be issued ID pins.
My mother walking around tagged like she was some threatening wacko.
If you're considering this an opportunity to crack a mother-in-law joke, you are seriously misjudging the mood of your audience.
I had a real good one, too.
Yeah, what? Too late.
I'm sorry.
Tomorrow will be better.
Hey, think about the neat place we get to live in once we win this thing.
My throat's really hurting.
- Oh, sweetie.
Come here, honey.
- I'll handle it.
What's wrong, angel? - I want mommy.
- Okay.
I'm here, baby.
You're really warm.
Let's go take your temperature, okay? Okay.
Okay, honey.
Come here.
Mr.
McGarry, given the Vice President's role as one who could be called upon to assume the Presidency, what's your response to voters concerned about your medical history? I'd say the House Speaker shouldn't skip any check-ups.
- He can't be flippant about this.
- I thought it was funny.
- Defusing.
- Sullivan will jump all over it.
And do an aria about the awesome, sacred responsibility of succession.
And he'll look like an idiot.
And Leo will sound like he could care less.
How can we help him if we can't even agree? He never figured out we were taping him? - Nope.
- Nice job.
Lipstick cameras.
You use these at home for your personal pleasure? Wouldn't you like to know.
Not really.
No.
Should we cancel? The debate? It's the right question.
It'd just nakedly be saying we're worried about him looking bad.
Better than moving forward and him, in fact, looking bad.
We don't cancel.
We keep working; do another practice session tomorrow.
Tomorrow's the debate.
Is it? Really? Gee, it slipped my mind.
Okay, guys.
Thank you.
You can go.
He'll be fine.
Acceptable.
I'll take anything over train wreck.
Yeah.
Hey.
Congressman.
How'd the event go? Asking people who've already given money to give more money? You've got to be shameless.
It's shameful how shameless you get.
What are you up to? Cramming.
I know the feeling.
Comic retribution for every candidate I ever told, "Just work harder.
" You saw the blog report.
Don't let that worry you, Leo.
Every time you and I argue policy, you kick my ass.
Hardly.
A piece of advice? Please.
Don't let all those advisors mess you up.
All of that well-intentioned council can get you so self-conscious you can't remember your shoe size.
Trust your instincts.
You have a practice session tomorrow? Yeah.
Blow it off.
Go to a movie.
Get everybody out of your hair.
How's the homecoming? Great.
Having a little reentry problem? A little bit.
Is she right there? Home with the kids.
Miranda's got a fever.
You two will be all right.
My best advice: don't get on a plane angry.
Says the divorced guy.
Does that make your advice better or worse? I have no idea.
Get some rest.
Thanks for calling.
Good luck.
What are you doing here on a Sunday? No life.
You? Wait, let me guess: you can't tell me.
You're getting good at this.
- Coffee? - Hmm-mm.
You know it occurs to me that if you ever used, and the fact that you haven't earns you major cliche avoidance points, the old, "I could tell you but then I'd have to kill you" trope, that given your background you probably actually could.
With my bare hands.
Again, alarmingly alluring.
You do have issues to work on, which I tend to find compelling to my continual misery.
Really? Dismayingly so.
Anyway, I just came by to say that I thought, given all, you acquitted yourself well at yesterday's briefing.
- Apocalypse Maybe.
- Nimbly done.
- Don't change the subject.
- From? The end of the world as we know it.
I can assure you: Armageddon not necessarily imminent.
May I communicate same to the White House press? I can't think why not.
You have the thanks of a thankful Communications director.
Though the prospect of the world ending did have one upside: I figured it gave license to ask whether you might want to have dinner with me before we and the planet went up in cinders.
Well, that is an opportunity lost.
Though I said it wasn't imminent, not out of the range of possibility.
So, then? How's tonight? It's all over the press that Leo had another bad debate practice.
Somebody's leaking.
You can't seriously think it's one of us.
You told a friend, they told a friend, the friend told the Washington Post.
I haven't spoken to a friend in two months.
I don't think I have any friends left.
All my friends are in this room.
Okay, you win the most pathetic.
Am I interrupting? Hey! No, not at all.
I'm canceling today's debate prep.
I'm not sure that's the best plan.
Too many voices; I need to clear my head a little bit.
We could make it just Josh and me.
Or just Lou.
Or me.
I think I'll do better on my own.
Short session? I don't want to leave it in the locker room.
Right.
See you all tonight.
Okay.
All right.
Okay, forget what I was saying.
I want you to get out there and lower expectations now.
Beyond what they are? Lower than low.
Go for low.
Hades low.
Spinning iron core in the planet low.
Low.
You know, between the security sweep, the metal detectors and the perimeter detail, that was the safest mass performed in America today.
What's so funny? Yeah, what's so funny? Kind of everything.
Did Teddy's father get his gun back? I don't know, Pete.
You're going to have to ask him.
What? All right, kids.
Get changed.
Sorry.
You guys had him all day yesterday.
Today's the Sabbath, day of rest.
There's something both of you are going to want to see.
What is it? Photos hit the papers you're probably not going to like.
I've probably looked worse.
It's not of you.
You think they planted it to distract from the debate tonight? Only a man would ask that.
I beg your pardon.
Sorry.
You're right.
Only you.
It's all over the Internet.
What are we doing about Illinois? Not panicking.
Four points up is still up.
- Senator of Chicago to the suburbs - I go downstate.
Santos ain't playing in Peoria.
They're talking about canceling.
Who? Santos-McGarry.
I hear they're in panic mode over there.
That's why he leaked the Helen photo.
Will you stop? He set the bar so low, the only way McGarry can look bad is if he trips over it.
Go out, do your thing; just watch out it doesn't look like you're kicking a cripple.
And we let this man talk to reporters? What? This is out of bounds.
I want you to contact every media outlet and let them know that anyone using this will no longer receive cooperation from this campaign.
Honey, I'm sorry about this.
I I guess this is speechless.
It's trash journalism - the lowest kind of tabloid stuff.
This will backfire.
They'll only sell out every copy.
I'm so sorry, Mrs.
Santos.
I can understand how you must feel.
Can you? What kind of underwear are you wearing right now, Donna? Put me on the phone with this publisher.
- I'm not sure that's the best - Put me on the phone with him, right now.
Hey.
Is this a bad time? No.
You caught me between arraignments.
I'm surprised you haven't changed your cell number.
Disappointed to actually get me? - No, I - Is somebody dead? I've talked to you.
Once every six weeks; you could set an extremely slow clock by it.
I didn't think you wanted to hear from me.
Because I don't feel cut off enough? All right.
I wasn't sure I wanted to talk to you.
Last time you were more than usually assholic.
Is that the reason you're calling? Because I'm not sure I'm in the ideal headspace for a character critique.
Have you seen the stuff about Leo? Lowering expectations.
It's not us.
Really? You mean he actually? Yeah.
News for a day.
Not even, with this tattoo thing.
That was you, right? No.
Huh? Really on top of the information flow, huh? I think we can do without your usual disparagement about my job performance.
I just feel like I really screwed up.
It's the VP debate - the very definition of "low impact.
" Well, the campaign will survive - it's Leo.
He'll survive too.
I put him in this position.
If he goes out and embarrasses himself, it's my fault.
He's a big boy, Josh.
He did this for me.
And now I've put him in this position where he can fail on national TV.
I'm sorry? He did this for you? You know what I mean.
Leo McGarry didn't accept his party's nomination for the Vice Presidency of the United States because he thought it might make your socks roll up and down.
I just hate to see him struggle like this.
It's not what he deserves.
I can't help it if it sounds self-aggrandizing, I feel responsible.
He's really that bad? Watch tonight.
Actually, don't watch.
This must all sound pretty trivial.
You mean to someone under indictment? It does concentrate the mind, just a little.
How's that going? I can't talk about it.
Too tough? Legally prescribed.
Right.
Give yourself a pass on this, Josh.
Yeah.
I'll talk to you in six weeks.
Election Day.
I forget: in D.
C.
, do they let felons vote? Too soon? Just a little bit.
See ya.
I just tore that publisher a new one.
Are you okay? Okay may be a bit much to hope for.
I'm sorry about all this.
It's not your fault.
In a way.
What are you going to do? That shouldn't be a part of all of this.
Everything is a part of this.
If you don't see that, you're not paying attention.
No pizza delivery on the block is a part of all this, mass starting an hour late so they could mag-wand the choir, - the kids getting sick - The kids? How are they? Dragging them across the country.
Kids whose fathers aren't running for President get colds.
Well, I'm not going to do it anymore.
They enjoy it, Helen.
Sitting in hotel rooms waiting for Daddy? Can we talk about this when you're not so upset? You should change.
You promised Peter you'd throw the football around.
Hey.
You all set for tonight? I'd better be.
You got a suit picked out? A tie? Are you here to approve my wardrobe? No, no.
I'm not worried about that.
I'm not worried at all.
Thanks for saying it at least.
Listen, we should move "Rock the Vote" up.
It's going to give Santos his "boxers or briefs" moment.
Helen should do it with him.
She won't do it.
He's pretty pissed.
We make lemonade, put them both on: youthful, attractive.
Camelot for the 21st Century.
We turn that vote out, we win.
They never come out.
They haven't had anyone like him to vote for since Kennedy.
I'll get on it.
There's still time to go over stuff for tonight.
I'm good.
Last minute review? I'd rather take it easy, rest up.
It's gonna be good.
It's gonna be what it is.
Okay, well Thanks for coming by.
Yeah, I'll see you there.
Leo's going to be better than people think, but you know, it's the message, not the messenger.
Do you have any twos? No, we're going to score tonight because what we've got to say about this country is forward-looking and inclusive.
Dad! I have every confidence that when Leo McGarry challenges Ray Sullivan on the issues, he's gonna show that the Vinick campaign's so-called "Sensible Solutions" are neither sensible, nor solutions.
Sorry for the mix-up, Mr.
Santos.
Produce ID, pass through a metal detector to enter my own brother's house.
We were told you were out of town.
That's why you weren't on the pre-clearance list.
Plus they got my name wrong.
It's Jorge, not George.
They just went with what's on your driver's license.
I'm getting it changed.
Hey, you made it after all.
Hey.
I thought I was going to get cavity searched.
He wasn't on the list.
Standard operating procedure now.
You can make it up to me.
Listen, I invited over a couple of business associates for drinks and a photo.
You think we can get it past your storm troopers? Sure.
I'll see what I can do.
Helen's back here.
I haven't had a chance to say, you have a lovely home.
It's even nicer when you don't have shouting protestors holding pictures of fetuses just up the street.
I'm sorry about snapping at you before.
It's completely understandable.
- Personal embarrassment aside - Embarrassment is when you nod off at the PTA meeting.
When entire cable news segments are devoted to debates about whether you seem kind of whore-y, I think we've upgraded to outright humiliation.
I was gonna say, it actually probably helps more than it hurts.
It makes you and the Congressman seem sexy and hip.
Well, glad to be of service.
You know, one of the reasons these stories may get so much play might be because it's all the public knows about you.
You haven't really defined yourself.
Well, I'm not running for President.
With all due respect, we both know you're not that naive.
The option to be left alone took a hit when the Congressman signed on to run and pretty much got obliterated when he won the nomination.
It'll be a distant memory when he wins this thing.
It might be time for you to start talking about the kind of First Lady you want to be.
I'd like to help out with that if you'll let me.
I can't tell you what kind of First Lady I'd like to be.
I'm too busy deciding if I want him to win.
Eye contact.
Start on the monitor.
Once you punch, straight to camera.
- When Sullivan talks, you look at him.
- But don't stare.
- Don't look bored.
- Even when he's boring.
- He'll be boring.
- Hey, look at me.
Gorgeous.
Oh, get her away from me.
- The man can not take a compliment.
- They're ready for you.
- Go get 'em.
- Good luck.
Hey, McGarry.
You're smirking.
Yeah? Good.
- You.
- Thank you.
Me.
A Carciofi salad, shaved parmesan.
Little order envy.
Take it.
No.
One-time, first-date offer.
I'd seize it.
First? I'm an optimist.
Take out dinner in your office; you must be.
Uh, hey, it started.
Mr.
McGarry, your response.
Senator Vinick and Governor Sullivan oppose the Kyoto treaty because they don't want foreign governments dictating our emissions standards.
They oppose the International Criminal Court because they don't want a foreign body to have legal jurisdiction over U.
S.
citizens.
But they apparently have no problem seating enormous, unprecedented leverage over our economy to bankers in China.
Our opponents evidently favor sending even more, billions of U.
S.
dollars, China's way.
Matt Santos and I would bring that money back to our shores for our citizens and return control of our economy back home where it belongs.
Mr.
McGarry, the next question's for you.
Many Americans consider the Vice President's role in Presidential succession - to be the most important responsibility - I never said he was going to giber like a gibbon.
Given your medical history, why shouldn't voters feel concern about you? By an overwhelming percentage, the first warning symptom of a heart attack is death.
I am fortunate to be here.
But it wasn't all luck.
I was the beneficiary of the finest medical care in the world - medical care available to me, to Governor Sullivan; but not to the millions of Americans with no or inadequate health insurance.
They have their noses pressed against the windows of the world's greatest hospitals, best trained doctors and nursing professionals.
And when they most need, most desperately need their services, they can't get in.
Matt Santos and I don't want to leave anyone out in the cold if they get sick like I did.
I could kiss somebody.
Or, you know, not.
access to the first-class treatment that I firmly believe saved my life.
He didn't really answer the question.
It doesn't matter.
It doesn't matter.
Damn straight.
You said a swear.
Thank you.
Thanks.
Thank you.
Hopefully I didn't embarrass us to bad.
Are you kidding? Josh and Lou are in the spin room? You gave them a lot to work with.
Thanks for the help, everyone.
Are you coming next door for a drink? As soon as I scrape the makeup off.
Son of a bitch.
Very nice.
You sandbagged.
Headstart on that drink? Didn't you? You're not smirking.
What was all this about? - The truth? - Yeah.
I was really that lost.
Oh, come on.
Couching answers in tame, time-pressured sound bites.
And then when Josh wouldn't even show me that tape, it scared me to death.
So I leaked it.
You did? I was worried he was so worried he wouldn't.
So you just called up a bunch of reporters and said "Hey, Leo McGarry here, just letting you know I'm one scary debater.
" I covered my tracks.
I've been at this awhile.
I had a couple think it was you.
Wasn't the voice a big tip-off? There's not enough helium in the cosmos.
So, I borrowed your e-mail account.
Excuse me? Never use your cat's name as your password.
Hey, I've got to get back in there.
I just want to say good going.
I got through it.
Oh, you did better than that.
Just never make me do this again.
In four years, book it.
I'll see you at the thing.
If you'll excuse me, too, I have a password to change.
- So, I'll see you in Phoenix on Thursday.
- I'll be there.
I hear that the hotel's got this water slide.
I will pack a Victorian bathing dress.
- I meant for the - I know what you meant.
Anyway, it's probably not a good idea that they go swimming with their colds and all.
Yeah, probably not.
- I miss them like crazy.
- I know you do.
I miss you, too.
I'll be there in Phoenix.
Yeah.
McGarry did all he needed to do: exceed expectations.
How couldn't he, the way the Democrats spun the run-out.
And we fall for it every time: viewing the spin instead of the substance.
Substance in a debate? I'd be surprised if this debate changed anyone's mind.
Well, arguably, the best outcome for the Vice Presidential debate: at least don't send the voters running into the arms of the other guys.
Bless you, sir.
Thank you.