Adventure Time with Finn & Jake s07e11 Episode Script
Stakes Part 6: Take Her Back
Time, sweet time Don't slip away from me Love It flows like a garden hose Rise, you rose Love out of time Face me your face Put your love in its place In my face In my face In my face Wait, I was hunting a vampire, The Moon Cut it out! That's not helping her! But Mom and Dad always burped on us.
It's a cure-all! Sorry, guys, there are no cure-alls.
Your parents were just burping on you for kicks.
Oh, yeah, that makes sense.
Oh, sorry, last one.
What did you eat, Jake?! Hey, now! I pride myself in having nice-smelling burps.
Just kidding.
Pride, hmm.
Do you guys know what "hubris" is? It's like an old-timey deity who weighed your deeds on a scale.
No, it means excessive pride or arrogance.
That's like you, P.
B.
Dude.
No, it's true.
I believed in myself so much that I was blind to the possible consequences.
Don't believe in yourself so much, then, dum dum.
Now my best friend is dying of poison because of me.
That ain't true, P.
B.
Marci took a risk.
And you helped her because you're her friend.
Real friends take each other to the edge of death 'Cause death is life! Right, Finn? Shoot, yeah! I get poisoned all the time just doing the dishes! I get poisoned on porpose For research.
I have a poison lab back at the castle.
Well, let's get our butts over there, then! Find The Moon, Finn.
We'll work on an antidote.
You guys take her back to the poison lab.
Maybe we can extract her healing powers.
Word! Hey, wait! What should I do? You guys? Moon pearls - We're on her trail.
- Gross! I think they're pretty.
What if they're, like, her boogers or worse? Come on, Jake.
Ew, ew, ew, ew! Sometimes I think vampires were invented just to torment me.
Whoa.
I don't think so, man.
I think you might have a hubris.
I'm just saying it's a possibility.
Hey, look! The Moon's pontoon.
See?! I hate it! What is this, some hut The Moon plopped out of her bod? I don't think so.
This mummy job looks like it used to belong to that mummy job.
Still hate it.
What's that, pickles? Ew.
Yeah, that's her.
Shouldn't she, like, explode or something? She just healed that sword right out of her bod! Let's try frying her up in the sun.
- Wow! - Wow! How are we supposed to destroy this stay-fresh creep? Hmm.
Let's stick with P.
B.
's plan and try staking her a bunch of different ways.
Hmm Higher Higher.
Lower.
Up Lower Perfect.
- Whoa! - Hey! Ah! What are you doing here, former Princess Bubblegum? Did you forget that you lost the election? Monarchies are not democracies! What?! Oof! Aah! - Ooh - Ooh Hey! Banana Guards, seize her! Uh, princess, should we listen to him? No, just keep him out of my way! And untie Crunchy! Thank you, Your Princessness! Man, we've been doing this for hours.
You know, it's weird that P.
B.
wanted us to stake her back, instead of us taking her back.
Wait.
"Taking" or "staking"? She said "you guys, 'sztake' her back.
" No, yeah! She said, "you guys, take her back.
" So which one should we do? Both, I guess.
We'd better hurry before she wakes up at sundown.
Whoops.
Get her back in the vase! Come get us, blood bucket! What?! Run! Here she come! Dude, for real, why'd you make her chase us? Marci needs her healing powers.
"Stake her back" to the castle, bro! Shoot, just don't let her near my deli tray! Well, run harder, dude! Okay.
Man, she is really booking it hard! You see that, Jake? No, bro, just let me run! Holy stink! She's smiling right at me! I don't need a play-by-play, man! - She's messing with us.
- What do you mean?! I mean she's not catching up on purpose! Why do you think that? She's giving me this look Slow down so I can talk to her.
No, boy, you crazy! Just do it! I won't let her bite you! Okay, my life is in your hands, man! Hey.
We're leading you to a trap.
We're gonna suck out your healing power and dust you.
And then I'm gonna put your dust in a litter box.
And get a tiger to drop a huge smelly tiger bomb on your sorry dust clumps! Stop hitting my butt! You run in the path of my light.
That's her voice?! How can you lead me when I am your guide? Are you being literal or allegorical? Me no like! Run, Jake, run! But she said I'm running in her light! Who gives a donk?! Just go! All right, where's your measuring equipment? I need to see some charts! And tubes Where are your tubes? This process uses no tubes and involves no quantifiable measurements.
Calm your mind and let the crystal medium work its magi Its science.
All right, Pep.
I just wish I could do more for her.
There, there.
We're all worried about Marceline.
That's not really why I'm crying.
Princess, we really miss you! Come on, guys, it's all right.
Oh! Shh, shh, shh, shh.
Shh, shh, shh, shh.
- Okay, finished.
- That's it? You just go, "shu, shu, shu" with your hands? Don't question my methods! This is my world.
Okay, what now, then? We wait, like, two hours.
Oh.
Let's do something else.
Like what? Mm, video games? I don't like video games.
Me neither.
I don't even have a system to play on or anything.
I got a video game back at my place.
But I just got it so I could stay in shape.
How do you get in shape playing a game? Uh It's like a yoga video.
So it's not a game at all.
No, it is.
It's a video game.
Uh, it's a video.
Yes.
A yoga video.
Game.
- A game.
- Video.
You guys.
We brought The Moon! What do we do? Die like pigs! Hold her off till Marci wakes up! She's not doing anything.
You gonna try something? Okay, I guess.
- Whoops! - What was that?! I don't know, man, I think I just got tapped out! "Tap out"? When do you ever tap out? Pigs! She's doing something weird! Jake, help! I can't! I feel like I'm in a slow-motion terror dream! Banana Guards, help! Princess, I can't stop her! You kind of have to, Finn! Rats! Okay, let me get my sword.
Marceline.
It's locked, dipstick! Open, pig! Open, pig! Pigs! Come on, Marci, wake up! Wake up! It's spring again And the yard is full Of tiny flowers You used to call them weeds And you killed them all But they were growing too tall What?! I can't hear you! I said, "Wake up, Marceline.
" What?! Wake u Huh? Pigs! Pigs! You! Marceline! Pigs, pigs! Did you just yell "pigs" at the lock until it opened? Oh! Oh! In your face! Marci, now! Finn.
Yes! Finn, she's dead.
Oh, thank glob.
It's a cure-all! Sorry, guys, there are no cure-alls.
Your parents were just burping on you for kicks.
Oh, yeah, that makes sense.
Oh, sorry, last one.
What did you eat, Jake?! Hey, now! I pride myself in having nice-smelling burps.
Just kidding.
Pride, hmm.
Do you guys know what "hubris" is? It's like an old-timey deity who weighed your deeds on a scale.
No, it means excessive pride or arrogance.
That's like you, P.
B.
Dude.
No, it's true.
I believed in myself so much that I was blind to the possible consequences.
Don't believe in yourself so much, then, dum dum.
Now my best friend is dying of poison because of me.
That ain't true, P.
B.
Marci took a risk.
And you helped her because you're her friend.
Real friends take each other to the edge of death 'Cause death is life! Right, Finn? Shoot, yeah! I get poisoned all the time just doing the dishes! I get poisoned on porpose For research.
I have a poison lab back at the castle.
Well, let's get our butts over there, then! Find The Moon, Finn.
We'll work on an antidote.
You guys take her back to the poison lab.
Maybe we can extract her healing powers.
Word! Hey, wait! What should I do? You guys? Moon pearls - We're on her trail.
- Gross! I think they're pretty.
What if they're, like, her boogers or worse? Come on, Jake.
Ew, ew, ew, ew! Sometimes I think vampires were invented just to torment me.
Whoa.
I don't think so, man.
I think you might have a hubris.
I'm just saying it's a possibility.
Hey, look! The Moon's pontoon.
See?! I hate it! What is this, some hut The Moon plopped out of her bod? I don't think so.
This mummy job looks like it used to belong to that mummy job.
Still hate it.
What's that, pickles? Ew.
Yeah, that's her.
Shouldn't she, like, explode or something? She just healed that sword right out of her bod! Let's try frying her up in the sun.
- Wow! - Wow! How are we supposed to destroy this stay-fresh creep? Hmm.
Let's stick with P.
B.
's plan and try staking her a bunch of different ways.
Hmm Higher Higher.
Lower.
Up Lower Perfect.
- Whoa! - Hey! Ah! What are you doing here, former Princess Bubblegum? Did you forget that you lost the election? Monarchies are not democracies! What?! Oof! Aah! - Ooh - Ooh Hey! Banana Guards, seize her! Uh, princess, should we listen to him? No, just keep him out of my way! And untie Crunchy! Thank you, Your Princessness! Man, we've been doing this for hours.
You know, it's weird that P.
B.
wanted us to stake her back, instead of us taking her back.
Wait.
"Taking" or "staking"? She said "you guys, 'sztake' her back.
" No, yeah! She said, "you guys, take her back.
" So which one should we do? Both, I guess.
We'd better hurry before she wakes up at sundown.
Whoops.
Get her back in the vase! Come get us, blood bucket! What?! Run! Here she come! Dude, for real, why'd you make her chase us? Marci needs her healing powers.
"Stake her back" to the castle, bro! Shoot, just don't let her near my deli tray! Well, run harder, dude! Okay.
Man, she is really booking it hard! You see that, Jake? No, bro, just let me run! Holy stink! She's smiling right at me! I don't need a play-by-play, man! - She's messing with us.
- What do you mean?! I mean she's not catching up on purpose! Why do you think that? She's giving me this look Slow down so I can talk to her.
No, boy, you crazy! Just do it! I won't let her bite you! Okay, my life is in your hands, man! Hey.
We're leading you to a trap.
We're gonna suck out your healing power and dust you.
And then I'm gonna put your dust in a litter box.
And get a tiger to drop a huge smelly tiger bomb on your sorry dust clumps! Stop hitting my butt! You run in the path of my light.
That's her voice?! How can you lead me when I am your guide? Are you being literal or allegorical? Me no like! Run, Jake, run! But she said I'm running in her light! Who gives a donk?! Just go! All right, where's your measuring equipment? I need to see some charts! And tubes Where are your tubes? This process uses no tubes and involves no quantifiable measurements.
Calm your mind and let the crystal medium work its magi Its science.
All right, Pep.
I just wish I could do more for her.
There, there.
We're all worried about Marceline.
That's not really why I'm crying.
Princess, we really miss you! Come on, guys, it's all right.
Oh! Shh, shh, shh, shh.
Shh, shh, shh, shh.
- Okay, finished.
- That's it? You just go, "shu, shu, shu" with your hands? Don't question my methods! This is my world.
Okay, what now, then? We wait, like, two hours.
Oh.
Let's do something else.
Like what? Mm, video games? I don't like video games.
Me neither.
I don't even have a system to play on or anything.
I got a video game back at my place.
But I just got it so I could stay in shape.
How do you get in shape playing a game? Uh It's like a yoga video.
So it's not a game at all.
No, it is.
It's a video game.
Uh, it's a video.
Yes.
A yoga video.
Game.
- A game.
- Video.
You guys.
We brought The Moon! What do we do? Die like pigs! Hold her off till Marci wakes up! She's not doing anything.
You gonna try something? Okay, I guess.
- Whoops! - What was that?! I don't know, man, I think I just got tapped out! "Tap out"? When do you ever tap out? Pigs! She's doing something weird! Jake, help! I can't! I feel like I'm in a slow-motion terror dream! Banana Guards, help! Princess, I can't stop her! You kind of have to, Finn! Rats! Okay, let me get my sword.
Marceline.
It's locked, dipstick! Open, pig! Open, pig! Pigs! Come on, Marci, wake up! Wake up! It's spring again And the yard is full Of tiny flowers You used to call them weeds And you killed them all But they were growing too tall What?! I can't hear you! I said, "Wake up, Marceline.
" What?! Wake u Huh? Pigs! Pigs! You! Marceline! Pigs, pigs! Did you just yell "pigs" at the lock until it opened? Oh! Oh! In your face! Marci, now! Finn.
Yes! Finn, she's dead.
Oh, thank glob.