Bewitched (1964) s07e11 Episode Script
The Corsican Cousins
Sam? Hi, sweetheart.
Hi.
How'd it go? Like silk.
Larry and I played just a little under our usual game, and, fortunately, Mr.
Langley beat us.
What'd he shoot? A 68.
Oh, my.
It was certainly decent of you to let him win.
He made us look like hackers.
But considering he's the president of Bigelow Industries, it was the least we could do.
And you got the account? Right.
Darrin? Hm? There's something I've been meaning to ask.
How come Mr.
Langley is president of Bigelow Industries? Well, the rumor is that Mr.
Langley quietly garnered the majority of the stock.
And the next thing Bigelow knew, he was out.
Oh.
Now, for, uh, some more good news.
Yes? Mr.
Langley has invited us to join his country club.
I like the other good news better.
Well, naturally, I made it clear that I wanted to discuss it with you first.
Darrin, we don't need to join some dumb country club.
I couldn't agree more.
But this situation's a little bit delicate.
See, J.
J.
Langley is not only the president of Bigelow Industries, he is the president and founder of the club.
And it wouldn't be good business to turn him down.
Okay.
We'll join.
Good.
I filled out the application this morning.
I thought you said you wanted to discuss it with me first.
We just discussed it, didn't we? Anyway, uh, here's the procedure.
Sometime next week, I have to play golf with two of the men on the admissions committee, Heh.
How does that thrill you? I have a better idea.
Hm? Why don't I play golf and you entertain the ladies? Ah! My dear child.
How are you? Mother, it's not that I'm not glad to see you, but don't you think that Darrin and I deserve a certain amount of privacy? Who? Oh, him.
Sam, don't expect your mother to be gracious.
She doesn't do imitations.
And if you'll excuse me, I'll go upstairs and change.
Oh, please don't change, Durwood.
I want to forget you exactly as you are.
Mother-- Hm? --if you are going to insist upon popping in like this, uh, couldn't you be a bit more pleasant? Well, it isn't easy.
But I'll try.
Can't you see what that feeble excuse for a husband is doing to you? He's turning you into a live-in maid, an unpaid cook and a babysitter.
And now he's forcing you to submit to the environment of a country club, which is just a meeting place for organized mortal snobs.
I would love to sit here and bicker, but I have to get lunch.
So if you'll excuse me Now, wait.
Wait.
Why can't you take an example from your cousin Serena? Oh.
Well, she doesn't worry about diapers or dinners or country clubs.
She's footloose and fancy-free.
She's quicksilver.
She lives in the sparkle of a star, in a flash of color.
See all the fun you're missing? How about those handsome devils? I wouldn't trade Darrin for a hundred of them.
And he's every bit as attractive.
Mortal life has not only thrown sand in your mental gears, it has also affected your eyesight.
If you'd like some lunch, stick around.
Hmph! Tsk.
There must be some way to make her see the light, some way to remind her of what she's given up.
Of course.
I wonder why it didn't dawn on me before.
The Corsican brothers Were hexed by a spell Which will work on cousins Just as well From this point on Without further ado What Serena feels Samantha will too Well! Oh! Okay, who's the wise guy? Sweetheart, you'll be ready for lunch soon? Well, that depends.
Is Ma Barker still here? Darrin, that is no way to talk about my mother.
And she's gone.
You're pretty gone yourself, you know that? Well, thank you, sir.
No, I mean it.
About the country club, I know we don't dig that stuff.
It was really great of you to go along with it.
Hm.
You're the best little witch a man ever had.
Oh, be careful, my sweet.
Those are very hot.
Mm! Ooh! Ooh! Oh.
Ooh.
What--? What was that? Heh.
It's called a kiss.
Uh, n-no.
I-I felt a burning sensation.
They don't call me "Hot Lips" Stephens for nothing.
I-I guess there must be a lot of static electricity in the air.
Oh, h-hi, Larry.
Hi, Sam, Darrin.
Hi, Larry.
Louise was still asleep when I got back from golf, so I thought I'd just drop over.
Mm.
Darrin tell you the good news about our getting the Langley account? Oh, uh, y-yes.
That's wonderful.
And how about Langley inviting you to join his club? I just can't tell you how I feel about that.
I knew you'd be delighted.
And I've got more good news.
We were blackballed? What? You know Sam and her sense of humor.
You may not realize it, but it's a great honor to be invited to join that club.
Yes.
I-I'm sure it is.
Stop that.
It's certainly nothing to laugh about.
I didn't know you were ticklish.
Well, I am.
I'm sorry.
Well, I'm not that ticklish.
Uh-- Uh, Larry, y-you said you had more good news? Oh-- Oh-- Oh, yes.
Langley just called.
Boy, you really made an impression on him.
And his wife.
She heads up the women's admissions committee.
Oh.
She wants-- She and her co-chairman wanna drop in and meet Sam right away.
Right aw--? Right away, when? This afternoon.
This afternoon? I knew you'd be tickled.
Mrs.
Langley suggested 3:00, if that's okay with you.
Oh.
Ha-ha-ha! I never knew 3:00 was such a funny hour.
Why am I laughing? I have to go home and wake up Louise.
Well, bye, you two.
Good luck.
Honey.
Hm? What's the matter with you? Well, I-I don't-- I don't know.
I-I've just got the giggles, I guess.
Well, you laughed in some pretty unfunny places.
Well-- Well, I couldn't help it.
It-- It was involuntary.
Like-- Like the hiccups.
Sam, is there something wrong with you? Uh, something witchy? Oh-- Oh, please.
Please.
Uh, ju-- Just don't mention it.
Oh, now, Clark, behave yourself.
Ha-ha.
Let's order some lunch.
I'm starved.
Maybe we ought to have lunch.
I'm starved.
Wait until you taste this lobster salad.
It's delicious.
I think I'll have the ring-tailed pheasant.
It sounds out of sight.
Uh, why do I have this sudden craving for ring-tailed pheasant? The last time you wanted ring-tailed pheasant, we found out Adam was on his way.
No, I can assure you this is not the same ring-tailed pheasant.
Well, excuse me.
I have to go to the market.
Uh, in the middle of lunch? Would you care to explain that? Not now.
I have to have some ring-tailed pheasant.
Uh, besides, I, uh-- I-I wanna pick up something to serve Mrs.
Langley and her friend when they arrive.
I think I'd better do something to make sure they don't arrive.
Darrin, don't just stand there.
I have got to have some ring-tailed pheasant.
Here's some chicken Kiev.
Won't that do? No.
No, it has to be ring-tailed pheasant.
Care for some more? Oh, no.
I couldn't eat another bite.
Here it is.
Springer's ring-tailed pheasant.
Too late.
My craving just vanished.
Well, uh, come on.
There's some things I wanna get for the ladies of the Inquisition.
Uh, Sam, will you forget about them? I'm gonna call Larry right now and tell him to cancel.
Oh, Darrin, don't worry.
As soon as we get home, I'll get in touch with Dr.
Bombay, and he'll fix whatever's wrong with me.
Yeah.
I'm gonna call Larry right now and tell him to cancel.
Come on.
Let's groove.
There's no music.
There is now.
I tried to get Larry, but his line is busy.
What are you doing? I think I'm dancing.
You can dance your way out of here and into the parking lot, and I'll call Larry as soon as we get home.
That's it.
Let's take five, or maybe 10.
It stopped.
Just as suddenly as it started.
I don't understand it.
Don't worry, sweetheart.
I'll call Larry and get rid of Mrs.
Langley and her friend while you get in touch with Dr.
Bombay, and I'm sure-- Heh.
Uh, Mrs.
Langley, right? When you're right, you're right.
Why are they here an hour early? To take me by surprise.
It's an old female trick used by old females.
Well, they're here, so let's just make the best of it.
Oh, Mrs.
Langley.
How nice to see you.
I'd like you to meet my wife, Samantha.
Oh, how do you do? How do you do? And may I introduce my co-chairman, Mrs.
Hunter.
Mrs.
Hunter.
Nice to meet you.
So nice to know you.
I know we're a little bit early, but I thought you wouldn't mind.
Oh, no.
No, of course not.
Please, come right in.
Please, ladies, uh, do go in and make yourselves comfortable.
Uh, could I fix you ladies a cocktail? A cocktail? Well, hardly in the middle of the day.
Thank you.
Sweetheart, it's earlier than you think.
I think it's later than I think.
Please, please.
Won't you go in and make yourselves comfortable? And, um, I'll start the refreshments.
I'll help you, honey.
Uh-oh.
It's Hermione.
Who's Hermione? My wife.
You are a rat.
And that is an insult to rats.
Serena, my dear, you seem to be upset.
I am.
The beast didn't tell me he was married.
I hate men, all men.
Sam, why are you being so obstinate? Don't you know that there's something radically wrong with you? Yes.
And I know what it is.
You.
What? Oh, I-I'm sorry, sweetheart.
I-I guess I'm upset.
Being a man, you wouldn't understand.
You're beginning to bug me.
And I don't know why.
Well-- Well, I do.
Whatever is wrong with you is probably a spell of your mother's.
Spell or no spell, you're bugging me.
I'm sorry it took so long.
But that's what happens when men decide to help out in the kitchen.
Well, answer the door, will you? At least they're good for something.
Hi, Darrin.
Oh, Larry, what are you--? I just came by to keep you company when the ladies get-- Oh, they're here already.
Yes.
They sort of caught us by surprise.
How are you, Mrs.
Langley? Mrs.
Hunter, nice to see you.
Mr.
Tate.
Hello.
Oh, don't pay any attention to me, ladies.
I just came by to keep Darrin company.
How are things going? We haven't started yet, and you're not helping.
I beg your pardon? Tsk.
Men are such a drag, aren't they? They can be.
Mrs.
Stephens has a very special sense of humor.
It takes a little getting used to, but it's worth it.
I'm sure.
Mr.
Stephens, the purpose of our visit was to get to know Mrs.
Stephens.
So In other words, get lost.
Sure.
Sure.
Now, where were we? What's she mad about? Oh, yeah, she's not mad.
Uh, when she gets nervous, she just sounds mad.
Oh, boy, what have you got for a hangover? How about a bicarb? This is a hangover I'm trying to get.
Oh, my goodness.
Oh, excuse me, ladies.
Uh, my canapés are burning.
Oh.
You really surprise me, Serena.
Crying because a silly warlock ran out on you? I'm not crying because he ran out on me.
Then why are you? Because now I don't have anything to do this afternoon.
Oh, thank you.
I-I'm-- I'm afraid they're a little scorched.
It's the first time it's happened.
Uh It makes me so angry I could cry.
Oh, but, my dear, they're not that scorched.
Oh, why, you can barely tell that they're burnt.
Now what's the matter with her? Well, she, uh-- It must be her hay fever.
I never knew Sam had hay fever.
Well, you know Sam.
She hates to brag.
Heh.
I think I'd better have another one of these.
Oh, stop sniveling this instant.
You're spoiling everything.
What am I spoiling? None of your business.
But you need something to cheer you up.
Ah.
Drink this, and it will change your whole outlook.
It will? Mm-hm.
One drink, and look out.
Sounds groovy.
Mm! It's not bad.
What is it? Witches' Joy Juice.
I never heard of it.
Well, that's because I just made it up.
You know, you've been very good to me, and I'd like to thank you both.
Tabitha.
What an odd name.
Is that Scandinavian? No.
It's international.
Oh, were you born abroad by any chance? Huh? Oh.
Heh-heh.
No.
A-Actually, I-- Why do you wanna know where I was born? That's no way to judge a person.
Oh, well, of course not.
We only asked because-- Because you don't accept foreign-born members, right? That is not true.
We have one member from Brooklyn.
Oh, is that a fact? Whoopee! I beg your pardon? Well, if a member from Brooklyn doesn't deserve a "whoopee," who does? Hi.
Now what's the matter with her? Well, uh, w-when Sam gets nervous and then starts sounding mad, she usually takes a little nip or two to give her confidence.
This stuff sure does cheer you up.
I think you're happy enough.
Oh, auntie.
Have another burnt offering.
Ooh! Ha-ha! Whoopsie-daisy.
No, no, no, no.
Leave them for the mice.
Ha-ha.
Just a little whimsy to liven up the party.
Darrin, do something, quick.
Or we'll lose the Langley account.
And we don't even have it yet.
What can I do? I don't know.
Yell "fire.
" Anything.
Perhaps we should have given Mrs.
Stephens a little more notice.
Uh, we seem to have caught her at a bad time.
Oh, no.
Not at all.
Anytime would have been a bad time.
Say, where did you get that hat? Oh, uh, do you like it? Nope.
I just wanna make sure I stay out of that store.
I think we should be leaving.
Oh, there's an idea.
Whoop.
Hee-hee.
You're not leaving already? We really must go.
Oh, no.
Please stay.
You're entitled to an explanation, and I'm going to give it to you, just as soon as I find out what it is.
Excuse us just a minute.
Uh, Mrs.
Langley, Mrs.
Hunter, please come back and sit down.
You-- Samantha's not really herself today.
But I-I-I'm sure in no time, we'll find out-- Uh, s-sit down.
Samantha, what the devil is going on? Don't ask me.
Ask the devil.
Or his closest relative, who happens to be your mother.
Ooh.
I think there's no reason to wait longer.
I'm afraid I found out more than I want to.
Uh, Mrs.
Langley, please.
Uh, l-ladies, I-I'm sure if you-- If you'll just wait for just a second-- Mrs.
Langley.
Mrs.
Langley, I promised you an explanation, and I think I-I finally have it.
Yes? The only problem is how to explain it.
Oh, please don't bother.
Mr.
Langley is going to be very disappointed.
Tsk.
That's too bad.
But I bet he won't be half as disappointed as Mr.
Bigelow was when Mr.
Langley got rid of him.
When I tell Mr.
Langley about this outrageous interview-- That's what you get for dropping in early and snooping on people.
Outrageous interviews.
Ha-ha.
I suppose you know what this means.
I suppose you know what this means.
Uh, Mrs.
Langley, Darrin's just an employee.
I'm the president of McMann & Tate.
Peekaboo.
I suppose you know what this means.
I sure do.
Whoopee! Ooh, my.
Ha-ha.
Ooh, the Kickapoo Joy Juice.
I have a wonderful idea for your mother.
What's that? She should be sent to a psychiatrist, if witches have such a thing.
They don't.
Then they should invent one just for her.
Oh, will you calm down? She came back and took the spell off me, didn't she? Hm.
That was swell of her.
After I lost the Langley account.
You do realize you're talking to a man who's going to have to find a new job? Well, maybe it's time for a change.
Yeah, of wives.
Darrin.
Hi, Darrin.
I thought you and I weren't speaking.
Where's your sense of humor? When I said you were fired, you didn't think I meant you were fired? What did you mean? Hi, Sam.
Wait till you hear.
Hear what? I just heard it on the radio.
The swindle that Langley pulled to get Bigelow out of the company will be front-page stuff.
And our being involved with him at a time like this could-- Could have ruined us.
That's what I call luck.
What makes you think it was luck? Hm? I told you we should have told him.
Told him what? Why I put on that little performance for the ladies.
You mean you knew about Langley? But how? Well, uh, Sam didn't, uh, really know.
She just had a, uh, premonition.
A premonition? Come on, Sam, tell me the truth.
How did you find out about it? Larry, uh, don't tell anybody, but I'm married to a witch.
A premonition, huh? Now, let's have a drink on it.
TRANSCRIPT: adrianp55
Hi.
How'd it go? Like silk.
Larry and I played just a little under our usual game, and, fortunately, Mr.
Langley beat us.
What'd he shoot? A 68.
Oh, my.
It was certainly decent of you to let him win.
He made us look like hackers.
But considering he's the president of Bigelow Industries, it was the least we could do.
And you got the account? Right.
Darrin? Hm? There's something I've been meaning to ask.
How come Mr.
Langley is president of Bigelow Industries? Well, the rumor is that Mr.
Langley quietly garnered the majority of the stock.
And the next thing Bigelow knew, he was out.
Oh.
Now, for, uh, some more good news.
Yes? Mr.
Langley has invited us to join his country club.
I like the other good news better.
Well, naturally, I made it clear that I wanted to discuss it with you first.
Darrin, we don't need to join some dumb country club.
I couldn't agree more.
But this situation's a little bit delicate.
See, J.
J.
Langley is not only the president of Bigelow Industries, he is the president and founder of the club.
And it wouldn't be good business to turn him down.
Okay.
We'll join.
Good.
I filled out the application this morning.
I thought you said you wanted to discuss it with me first.
We just discussed it, didn't we? Anyway, uh, here's the procedure.
Sometime next week, I have to play golf with two of the men on the admissions committee, Heh.
How does that thrill you? I have a better idea.
Hm? Why don't I play golf and you entertain the ladies? Ah! My dear child.
How are you? Mother, it's not that I'm not glad to see you, but don't you think that Darrin and I deserve a certain amount of privacy? Who? Oh, him.
Sam, don't expect your mother to be gracious.
She doesn't do imitations.
And if you'll excuse me, I'll go upstairs and change.
Oh, please don't change, Durwood.
I want to forget you exactly as you are.
Mother-- Hm? --if you are going to insist upon popping in like this, uh, couldn't you be a bit more pleasant? Well, it isn't easy.
But I'll try.
Can't you see what that feeble excuse for a husband is doing to you? He's turning you into a live-in maid, an unpaid cook and a babysitter.
And now he's forcing you to submit to the environment of a country club, which is just a meeting place for organized mortal snobs.
I would love to sit here and bicker, but I have to get lunch.
So if you'll excuse me Now, wait.
Wait.
Why can't you take an example from your cousin Serena? Oh.
Well, she doesn't worry about diapers or dinners or country clubs.
She's footloose and fancy-free.
She's quicksilver.
She lives in the sparkle of a star, in a flash of color.
See all the fun you're missing? How about those handsome devils? I wouldn't trade Darrin for a hundred of them.
And he's every bit as attractive.
Mortal life has not only thrown sand in your mental gears, it has also affected your eyesight.
If you'd like some lunch, stick around.
Hmph! Tsk.
There must be some way to make her see the light, some way to remind her of what she's given up.
Of course.
I wonder why it didn't dawn on me before.
The Corsican brothers Were hexed by a spell Which will work on cousins Just as well From this point on Without further ado What Serena feels Samantha will too Well! Oh! Okay, who's the wise guy? Sweetheart, you'll be ready for lunch soon? Well, that depends.
Is Ma Barker still here? Darrin, that is no way to talk about my mother.
And she's gone.
You're pretty gone yourself, you know that? Well, thank you, sir.
No, I mean it.
About the country club, I know we don't dig that stuff.
It was really great of you to go along with it.
Hm.
You're the best little witch a man ever had.
Oh, be careful, my sweet.
Those are very hot.
Mm! Ooh! Ooh! Oh.
Ooh.
What--? What was that? Heh.
It's called a kiss.
Uh, n-no.
I-I felt a burning sensation.
They don't call me "Hot Lips" Stephens for nothing.
I-I guess there must be a lot of static electricity in the air.
Oh, h-hi, Larry.
Hi, Sam, Darrin.
Hi, Larry.
Louise was still asleep when I got back from golf, so I thought I'd just drop over.
Mm.
Darrin tell you the good news about our getting the Langley account? Oh, uh, y-yes.
That's wonderful.
And how about Langley inviting you to join his club? I just can't tell you how I feel about that.
I knew you'd be delighted.
And I've got more good news.
We were blackballed? What? You know Sam and her sense of humor.
You may not realize it, but it's a great honor to be invited to join that club.
Yes.
I-I'm sure it is.
Stop that.
It's certainly nothing to laugh about.
I didn't know you were ticklish.
Well, I am.
I'm sorry.
Well, I'm not that ticklish.
Uh-- Uh, Larry, y-you said you had more good news? Oh-- Oh-- Oh, yes.
Langley just called.
Boy, you really made an impression on him.
And his wife.
She heads up the women's admissions committee.
Oh.
She wants-- She and her co-chairman wanna drop in and meet Sam right away.
Right aw--? Right away, when? This afternoon.
This afternoon? I knew you'd be tickled.
Mrs.
Langley suggested 3:00, if that's okay with you.
Oh.
Ha-ha-ha! I never knew 3:00 was such a funny hour.
Why am I laughing? I have to go home and wake up Louise.
Well, bye, you two.
Good luck.
Honey.
Hm? What's the matter with you? Well, I-I don't-- I don't know.
I-I've just got the giggles, I guess.
Well, you laughed in some pretty unfunny places.
Well-- Well, I couldn't help it.
It-- It was involuntary.
Like-- Like the hiccups.
Sam, is there something wrong with you? Uh, something witchy? Oh-- Oh, please.
Please.
Uh, ju-- Just don't mention it.
Oh, now, Clark, behave yourself.
Ha-ha.
Let's order some lunch.
I'm starved.
Maybe we ought to have lunch.
I'm starved.
Wait until you taste this lobster salad.
It's delicious.
I think I'll have the ring-tailed pheasant.
It sounds out of sight.
Uh, why do I have this sudden craving for ring-tailed pheasant? The last time you wanted ring-tailed pheasant, we found out Adam was on his way.
No, I can assure you this is not the same ring-tailed pheasant.
Well, excuse me.
I have to go to the market.
Uh, in the middle of lunch? Would you care to explain that? Not now.
I have to have some ring-tailed pheasant.
Uh, besides, I, uh-- I-I wanna pick up something to serve Mrs.
Langley and her friend when they arrive.
I think I'd better do something to make sure they don't arrive.
Darrin, don't just stand there.
I have got to have some ring-tailed pheasant.
Here's some chicken Kiev.
Won't that do? No.
No, it has to be ring-tailed pheasant.
Care for some more? Oh, no.
I couldn't eat another bite.
Here it is.
Springer's ring-tailed pheasant.
Too late.
My craving just vanished.
Well, uh, come on.
There's some things I wanna get for the ladies of the Inquisition.
Uh, Sam, will you forget about them? I'm gonna call Larry right now and tell him to cancel.
Oh, Darrin, don't worry.
As soon as we get home, I'll get in touch with Dr.
Bombay, and he'll fix whatever's wrong with me.
Yeah.
I'm gonna call Larry right now and tell him to cancel.
Come on.
Let's groove.
There's no music.
There is now.
I tried to get Larry, but his line is busy.
What are you doing? I think I'm dancing.
You can dance your way out of here and into the parking lot, and I'll call Larry as soon as we get home.
That's it.
Let's take five, or maybe 10.
It stopped.
Just as suddenly as it started.
I don't understand it.
Don't worry, sweetheart.
I'll call Larry and get rid of Mrs.
Langley and her friend while you get in touch with Dr.
Bombay, and I'm sure-- Heh.
Uh, Mrs.
Langley, right? When you're right, you're right.
Why are they here an hour early? To take me by surprise.
It's an old female trick used by old females.
Well, they're here, so let's just make the best of it.
Oh, Mrs.
Langley.
How nice to see you.
I'd like you to meet my wife, Samantha.
Oh, how do you do? How do you do? And may I introduce my co-chairman, Mrs.
Hunter.
Mrs.
Hunter.
Nice to meet you.
So nice to know you.
I know we're a little bit early, but I thought you wouldn't mind.
Oh, no.
No, of course not.
Please, come right in.
Please, ladies, uh, do go in and make yourselves comfortable.
Uh, could I fix you ladies a cocktail? A cocktail? Well, hardly in the middle of the day.
Thank you.
Sweetheart, it's earlier than you think.
I think it's later than I think.
Please, please.
Won't you go in and make yourselves comfortable? And, um, I'll start the refreshments.
I'll help you, honey.
Uh-oh.
It's Hermione.
Who's Hermione? My wife.
You are a rat.
And that is an insult to rats.
Serena, my dear, you seem to be upset.
I am.
The beast didn't tell me he was married.
I hate men, all men.
Sam, why are you being so obstinate? Don't you know that there's something radically wrong with you? Yes.
And I know what it is.
You.
What? Oh, I-I'm sorry, sweetheart.
I-I guess I'm upset.
Being a man, you wouldn't understand.
You're beginning to bug me.
And I don't know why.
Well-- Well, I do.
Whatever is wrong with you is probably a spell of your mother's.
Spell or no spell, you're bugging me.
I'm sorry it took so long.
But that's what happens when men decide to help out in the kitchen.
Well, answer the door, will you? At least they're good for something.
Hi, Darrin.
Oh, Larry, what are you--? I just came by to keep you company when the ladies get-- Oh, they're here already.
Yes.
They sort of caught us by surprise.
How are you, Mrs.
Langley? Mrs.
Hunter, nice to see you.
Mr.
Tate.
Hello.
Oh, don't pay any attention to me, ladies.
I just came by to keep Darrin company.
How are things going? We haven't started yet, and you're not helping.
I beg your pardon? Tsk.
Men are such a drag, aren't they? They can be.
Mrs.
Stephens has a very special sense of humor.
It takes a little getting used to, but it's worth it.
I'm sure.
Mr.
Stephens, the purpose of our visit was to get to know Mrs.
Stephens.
So In other words, get lost.
Sure.
Sure.
Now, where were we? What's she mad about? Oh, yeah, she's not mad.
Uh, when she gets nervous, she just sounds mad.
Oh, boy, what have you got for a hangover? How about a bicarb? This is a hangover I'm trying to get.
Oh, my goodness.
Oh, excuse me, ladies.
Uh, my canapés are burning.
Oh.
You really surprise me, Serena.
Crying because a silly warlock ran out on you? I'm not crying because he ran out on me.
Then why are you? Because now I don't have anything to do this afternoon.
Oh, thank you.
I-I'm-- I'm afraid they're a little scorched.
It's the first time it's happened.
Uh It makes me so angry I could cry.
Oh, but, my dear, they're not that scorched.
Oh, why, you can barely tell that they're burnt.
Now what's the matter with her? Well, she, uh-- It must be her hay fever.
I never knew Sam had hay fever.
Well, you know Sam.
She hates to brag.
Heh.
I think I'd better have another one of these.
Oh, stop sniveling this instant.
You're spoiling everything.
What am I spoiling? None of your business.
But you need something to cheer you up.
Ah.
Drink this, and it will change your whole outlook.
It will? Mm-hm.
One drink, and look out.
Sounds groovy.
Mm! It's not bad.
What is it? Witches' Joy Juice.
I never heard of it.
Well, that's because I just made it up.
You know, you've been very good to me, and I'd like to thank you both.
Tabitha.
What an odd name.
Is that Scandinavian? No.
It's international.
Oh, were you born abroad by any chance? Huh? Oh.
Heh-heh.
No.
A-Actually, I-- Why do you wanna know where I was born? That's no way to judge a person.
Oh, well, of course not.
We only asked because-- Because you don't accept foreign-born members, right? That is not true.
We have one member from Brooklyn.
Oh, is that a fact? Whoopee! I beg your pardon? Well, if a member from Brooklyn doesn't deserve a "whoopee," who does? Hi.
Now what's the matter with her? Well, uh, w-when Sam gets nervous and then starts sounding mad, she usually takes a little nip or two to give her confidence.
This stuff sure does cheer you up.
I think you're happy enough.
Oh, auntie.
Have another burnt offering.
Ooh! Ha-ha! Whoopsie-daisy.
No, no, no, no.
Leave them for the mice.
Ha-ha.
Just a little whimsy to liven up the party.
Darrin, do something, quick.
Or we'll lose the Langley account.
And we don't even have it yet.
What can I do? I don't know.
Yell "fire.
" Anything.
Perhaps we should have given Mrs.
Stephens a little more notice.
Uh, we seem to have caught her at a bad time.
Oh, no.
Not at all.
Anytime would have been a bad time.
Say, where did you get that hat? Oh, uh, do you like it? Nope.
I just wanna make sure I stay out of that store.
I think we should be leaving.
Oh, there's an idea.
Whoop.
Hee-hee.
You're not leaving already? We really must go.
Oh, no.
Please stay.
You're entitled to an explanation, and I'm going to give it to you, just as soon as I find out what it is.
Excuse us just a minute.
Uh, Mrs.
Langley, Mrs.
Hunter, please come back and sit down.
You-- Samantha's not really herself today.
But I-I-I'm sure in no time, we'll find out-- Uh, s-sit down.
Samantha, what the devil is going on? Don't ask me.
Ask the devil.
Or his closest relative, who happens to be your mother.
Ooh.
I think there's no reason to wait longer.
I'm afraid I found out more than I want to.
Uh, Mrs.
Langley, please.
Uh, l-ladies, I-I'm sure if you-- If you'll just wait for just a second-- Mrs.
Langley.
Mrs.
Langley, I promised you an explanation, and I think I-I finally have it.
Yes? The only problem is how to explain it.
Oh, please don't bother.
Mr.
Langley is going to be very disappointed.
Tsk.
That's too bad.
But I bet he won't be half as disappointed as Mr.
Bigelow was when Mr.
Langley got rid of him.
When I tell Mr.
Langley about this outrageous interview-- That's what you get for dropping in early and snooping on people.
Outrageous interviews.
Ha-ha.
I suppose you know what this means.
I suppose you know what this means.
Uh, Mrs.
Langley, Darrin's just an employee.
I'm the president of McMann & Tate.
Peekaboo.
I suppose you know what this means.
I sure do.
Whoopee! Ooh, my.
Ha-ha.
Ooh, the Kickapoo Joy Juice.
I have a wonderful idea for your mother.
What's that? She should be sent to a psychiatrist, if witches have such a thing.
They don't.
Then they should invent one just for her.
Oh, will you calm down? She came back and took the spell off me, didn't she? Hm.
That was swell of her.
After I lost the Langley account.
You do realize you're talking to a man who's going to have to find a new job? Well, maybe it's time for a change.
Yeah, of wives.
Darrin.
Hi, Darrin.
I thought you and I weren't speaking.
Where's your sense of humor? When I said you were fired, you didn't think I meant you were fired? What did you mean? Hi, Sam.
Wait till you hear.
Hear what? I just heard it on the radio.
The swindle that Langley pulled to get Bigelow out of the company will be front-page stuff.
And our being involved with him at a time like this could-- Could have ruined us.
That's what I call luck.
What makes you think it was luck? Hm? I told you we should have told him.
Told him what? Why I put on that little performance for the ladies.
You mean you knew about Langley? But how? Well, uh, Sam didn't, uh, really know.
She just had a, uh, premonition.
A premonition? Come on, Sam, tell me the truth.
How did you find out about it? Larry, uh, don't tell anybody, but I'm married to a witch.
A premonition, huh? Now, let's have a drink on it.
TRANSCRIPT: adrianp55