Mad Men s07e11 Episode Script
Time & Life
(theme music playing) ("Cherry Brandy" playing.
) Oh, my God.
You have to taste it.
Shouldn't we wait for Don? Chateau Margaux '53.
Considered by some the best there is.
So, you were talking about Ziploc.
Was I? Yes.
You were saying that we might be in the running.
No, I said I was still deciding.
I see.
So you would like to know why the agency that has over-performed on Handi-Wrap, Oven Cleaner, Bathroom Cleaner, and corporate image cleaner, is worthy of more business? Well, I don't know about Bathroom Cleaner.
"Germ killer"? It makes people think of shit.
You didn't express that.
I expressed ambivalence and you went the wrong way.
(chuckles) Yes, of course.
So would you like us to redo the work? As I said, Pete, I haven't decided.
Please, Ken, don't get up.
I apologize.
I couldn't get a cab.
I should let you try Ken's incredible wine.
But first, I think you should know that Ken prefers the "bright and shiny" bathroom strategy because he says "germ killer" makes people think of poop.
(laughs) Don't have second thoughts, Ken.
You picked the right strategy.
Okay.
Okay? Should we order? Woman on phone: Good evening, Mr.
Draper.
You have three phone calls.
One at 7:00 from Tricia Reynolds and two from Diana Baur at 9:00 and 9:30.
Diana Baur? What's the message? I'm sorry, what was the message? Actually, I see here.
I wasn't supposed to give you her second message.
Or her first.
My goodness.
Why don't they just throw these out? Do you know who spoke with her? Yes, and I'll report this.
I work with birdbrains.
No, it's fine.
I just Did she leave a number? No.
I'm sorry.
(sighs) Will you let everyone know I'll pick up my own calls tonight? Yes, of course.
And again, I apologize, Mr.
Draper.
Good night.
Caroline! Do you read the mail or do you just open it? Shirley opened the mail.
I'll get her.
No, go get whoever is responsible for paying our lease.
Dawn Chambers.
Joan! Get in here! Joan! Don't do that.
You're gonna have to fire Dawn.
She didn't pay the lease.
I'll take care of this.
(elevator bell dings) - (intercom buzzes) - I have Trudy Campbell.
Well, hello, Trudy.
How are you? Frankly, not good at all.
What did I do? No, it's Tammy.
She was on the wait list at Greenwich Country Day and they promised her admission, but they didn't keep their word.
What was she doing on the wait list at all? My father's entire family went to that school.
They know who are you, Peter.
And they know who I am.
And they know that we're divorced.
Greenwich, Connecticut, is built on divorced money.
Don't yell at me.
I've arranged for a meeting with the headmaster and I'd like for you to accompany me to show that we're in this together, if nothing else.
Yes, of course.
Tomorrow.
Just once, I'd like some notice.
I didn't want to involve you at all.
(laughing) You got me this time, Kirby.
You're all fired.
Hold on.
Someone at McCann-Erickson gave notice in writing.
I was never informed.
We were never informed.
Well, it's obviously a mistake.
Get Jim Hobart no, Ferg Donnelly on the horn.
Just a minute.
Ladies, this is how rumors get started.
So this stays in this room till things get sorted out.
Back to work.
I'll get Ferg.
(organ playing) So now I just want you to play.
Just pretend we're not here.
(turns organ off) I'm giving you my permission to play with all these great toys.
Do what you would do if we weren't watching.
Really? That's what you'd do? What's wrong with them? You said you didn't want actors.
Well, real kids are shy.
And you have to talk to them like people.
They all have their own toy.
If we want enthusiasm, we should just have one toy.
Like a battle royale.
Just throw one in there and the last kid standing gets the gig.
It would work.
You hate kids.
You know what? I want to see how far you can throw that.
- (kids laughing) - Take it easy.
Rog, I'm on my way to lunch.
What can I do for you? It'll just take a second.
Someone over there accidentally gave notice on our lease and I need you to fix it.
Oh.
Well, actually Actually what? You really need to talk to Jim about it.
About what? What the hell is going on, Ferg? Roger, calm down.
I think you'll see it's all good news.
Go ahead.
Well, we're gonna move your whole office into our building at the end of the month.
Why? We don't mind paying people, but it seems ridiculous to rent two floors of the Time Life Building when we have plenty of space over here.
Hold on, are we losing the office or the agency? That's the wrong way to look at it.
We're bringing you home.
This is my home.
Are you dissolving us? I'm gonna set a meeting with Jim for tomorrow.
Look, this was supposed to be the last thing done, not the first.
Were you planning this all along? Would you stop it? It's going to be great.
Roger.
What do I do? (typewriter clacking) Can I help you? Really pulled one over on us.
Who? What are you doing here? Roger, you can't just tell Don.
- Tell Don what? - Do you need ice? We're not to be disturbed.
- Go ahead.
- No.
McCann's moving us to their building.
We lost our lease.
Everything must go.
So we're moving? I'd love a new view.
No, Pete, I don't think that's all there is to it.
We're being swallowed up.
We have 30 days.
SC&P has conflicts.
That's why we exist.
Don't you understand? We don't exist.
Our rent is too high.
- Anybody else? - Yes, please.
That's it? Have a drink? Well, I'm not going.
You want to give up the rest of your money? We all have four-year contracts and a noncompete.
I did not agree to this.
Yes, you did.
The minute we sold them the company, we all agreed to it.
After all that, Jim Cutler wins.
All that cash and no McCann.
I hate that guy.
I like it over there.
Because you're a sheep.
Knock it off.
We've got a meeting with Jim Hobart tomorrow to discuss the details.
Let's try and be dignified.
Keep it in this room until we have orders.
That explains the forecast they wanted.
I'm sorry.
They waited so long, I thought we were safe.
Betsy Wheeler.
Okay, Betsy, I'm glad that's you.
Peggy, may I speak with you? - Maybe later.
- It's very important.
I'll be right back.
- (sighs) - What's wrong? I'm telling you this because I don't know, because no one else will.
And you really need to know.
We're being absorbed by McCann.
(sighs) Are they letting me go? No, they'll need you for a while.
Maybe forever.
All I know is having a leg up on the rats who fly off this ship is going to help you.
I would want it.
Oh.
Are you going? I have to.
I've never worked anywhere else.
You'll do great.
You should get back to work.
For your ears only.
Hello.
It's me.
I love a call from you in the middle of the day.
I just wanted to hear your voice.
Even better.
What do you want me to say? I got some bad news at work.
(sniffles) Hey.
I don't care how bad it is.
It's not that bad.
You don't know that.
We can talk about it tomorrow when I'm there.
I didn't know you were coming.
Lisa, get me on the redeye to New York.
Now you know.
(knocks on door) Melanie called.
She has two two bedrooms to show you tonight.
And it's five minutes till the Mohawk status meeting.
Cancel everything.
What's wrong? It's personal, honey.
(phone ringing) Don Draper's office.
I'll see if he's available.
It's Lou Avery calling from California.
(sighs) Shit.
I better take it.
Do you mind? - Hello, Lou.
- Don.
I think we need to have a conversation.
Look, we just found out.
I told Dee not to say anything, but good you know.
I'm moving next week.
When did they tell you? A couple weeks ago.
I thought about it for 10 seconds, then I thought, "So what if it's Tokyo? It's my lifelong dream.
" They have an office in Tokyo? They only have an office in Tokyo.
What are you talking about? Tatsunoko Productions.
They're making "Scout's Honor" into a cartoon.
What did you think I was talking about? It doesn't matter.
They made "Speed Racer," Don.
I got a $15,000 advance.
Obviously, my mind's made up.
Obviously.
I wish I could see the look on your face.
I bet you're not laughing anymore, are you? No, Lou, I'm not.
Well, sayonara, my friend.
Enjoy the rest of your miserable life.
(laughs) (sighs) (exhales sharply) Meredith.
If we're trying to keep the office calm, closing those curtains is a bad idea.
So spill it.
Have you heard something? Yes, I did.
Lou's moving to Tokyo.
I'm not even going to tell you why because it would give him pleasure.
The point is Sterling Cooper West is empty.
Of course it's empty.
It's the first drop out of the teapot.
What I'm saying is it's available.
We can run a business out of there.
We have no business.
I was looking at McCann's rosters and there's going to be a lot of clients they can't hold on to Conflicts.
Take Sunkist for example.
It's 10 million in billings and growing.
Coca-Cola owns Minute Maid, so Sunkist is gone.
Burger Chef, it's four million and they just dumped McCann for us.
They keep telling me their future's in California.
Exactly.
What's our square footage out there? An old girlfriend measured it.
What I'm saying is there's business in California.
If we can work out of a bassinet, we can make McCann money that they'd have to throw away.
"We"? I don't want to go back to California.
That's good.
You don't have to.
Stay here, they'd like that.
Anyone else want to stay here? Are we really playing this game? Dow Chemical.
McCann fired Ken.
And I mean fired him out of a cannon.
He ain't going near that place.
- How much is that? - Seven.
But Ken doesn't like us either.
But he loves feeling the tip of your nose in the seat of his pants.
I'll take care of Ken.
What about Avon? I'm sorry, but it's not a conflict.
But I have the relationship.
No, that would be stealing a client.
Avon has to go to McCann and you have to help them keep it.
We're going to hand deliver all of the clients they want.
We're meeting with Jim Hobart tomorrow and we can't cancel.
You think we can secure three accounts in 24 hours? We've done it before.
(door shuts) I'm sorry it's so hot in here.
I'm sorry about the intrusion, but this is the only place where we know we won't be seen.
Well, I'm comfortable here.
The question is, how does it look out there? Considering most firms are Ivy League only and you don't even have a degree, the landscape looks very promising.
Who wants me? Well, I can list a bunch of initials or I could tell you what I really think.
You're the expert.
What's the best offer? McCann-Erickson.
I don't want to go there.
That's why I called you.
I understand that.
Look, I'm foregoing a commission here because I'm a career builder.
I want to help you find a job over and over again.
And sooner or later, you're going to have to go through a place like McCann.
Big company.
Big products.
National influence.
You shouldn't stay longer than three years, but that's where you should go.
But what else is out there? Plenty.
For a lot less money with a lot less cachet.
But you go to McCann and by 1973, you'll be looking at four times the salary.
So that's it? You could've just called me and told me this.
I want you to consider it seriously before we take meetings.
Because word always gets out and McCann is vindictive.
You're really selling it.
It's a huge opportunity.
(people shouting) Come in.
Glad you could make it.
- I feel like a spy.
- You look like one.
We have caviar.
Your favorite red.
Chateau Margaux '53.
I'll have a snort.
Look, ahem, they're dissolving the agency.
All the business is moving to McCann.
They finally got you.
They ate you up.
We know it was hard enough to convince you to stay when McCann bought us.
I can't imagine how you feel about things now.
Yeah, I'm not going.
So we are proposing that we retain our independence in our California office with a few select clients who've insisted on it.
Who else is going? Burger Chef and Sunkist so far.
It's strictly for conflicts.
And, well, conflicts.
Tell your superiors nothing is going to change.
I know I always come at you guns blazing, but to them, I'm still the new guy and Ed's son-in-law.
I can't suggest a move this bold.
Boldness is always rewarded, am I right, Pete? I don't want to make Ken do anything he doesn't want to do.
Now he obviously thinks it's less bold to change agencies.
You're wrong.
Dow would be thrilled to finally have all their accounts at McManus, John & Adams.
Kenny, you know that we know this account inside and out and we have Don Draper.
That's why you stayed anyway.
That's true.
We've done this before.
You know we can.
You know, I've fantasized that one day I'd be in this situation with you, Roger.
And, Pete, well, you're not exactly an innocent bystander.
I've toyed with you long enough.
No.
Sorry about that.
(sighs) How do I describe California in a way that doesn't make them jealous? Tell them my ex-wife lives there.
(chuckles) Mine, too, so what? I know you're attached to California.
I don't know what it means to you, but it doesn't mean anything to me.
It does mean something to me.
I always feel bad about taking your spot when I saw what happened to you.
It should have been you out there, not me.
You were very persuasive.
I was misguided.
I met someone.
She's not too young and she's gorgeous and a little bit deep.
Where'd you find a girl like that? I knew her in college.
She's divorced, too, but no kids.
I bumped into her on Third Avenue and we couldn't remember why it didn't work out.
Oh.
Congratulations.
I hope you understand, she can't leave New York and I can't leave her.
Stop it.
You're helping us by staying here.
Roger called.
Dow's a no.
Let me talk to Ken.
I suggested that and Roger said it's quite final.
(sighs) Well, let's comb through the small accounts.
See if we can cobble a couple million together.
I'll go get the files.
Do you want more coffee? I want to get on with this.
I have someplace to be, Trudy.
- Good morning.
- Peter Campbell.
Sorry to keep you waiting.
Well, I assume you know why we're here, Mr.
MacDonald.
We feel there's been a mistake regarding our daughter Tammy.
It's a Campbell family tradition to receive the inimitable education of Greenwich Country Day.
But you didn't go here.
No, but a Campbell has been in attendance since it was a barn.
(both chuckle) I'm sorry, but our decision is final.
Now, Trudy explained to me that you said it's a question of space.
And I say Tammy would make it worth your while.
She wouldn't feel extra at all.
It's not a question of space.
Your little girl scored very low on her draw-a-man test.
Well, that's news to us.
And I find it hard to believe.
Your ex-wife and I discussed this.
Children have to draw a man and their development is assessed based on the volume of details.
Eyes, nose, ears, 10 fingers, Your daughter had only a head, mustache, and necktie.
- Mustache? - She didn't understand what you wanted.
And I've been told anything beyond a stick figure is considered advanced for her age.
Albert Einstein didn't speak until he was four years old.
This is not about your little girl.
The real problem is that your former wife failed to submit applications to other schools.
That was careless and arrogant.
- What? - How dare you? I think we've said all there is to say.
We're not leaving until you apologize to Trudy.
Peter, it doesn't matter.
Einstein.
Would you like to step outside? Are you sure you wouldn't rather get me while I'm sleeping? Like a real Campbell? Are you kidding me? No MacDonald will ever mix with a Campbell.
- (scoffs) - What are you talking about? It's some stupid story.
It's 300 years old.
He's obviously nuts.
You should know that his clan took advantage of the gift of hospitality and murdered my ancestors while they slept.
The king ordered it.
Just be grateful you can remarry and get rid of that name.
Oh.
Come on, Trudy.
Another sucker punch from the Campbell's.
Coward.
I'm sorry, sweetheart, the auditions are finished.
I already auditioned.
I'm waiting for my mother.
Where is she? She had to pick up my brother.
He has another audition.
Look, Phil, it's a very simple transaction.
We've been doing it for years.
Shirley, will you watch her? I have every right to be upset because I'm an important buyer and you're acting like an asshole.
Maybe we should go downstairs.
I'll see if Marsha's back from lunch.
Do you know your phone number? Did I get the part? We haven't decided.
Verna? Her purse is gone.
They must be at the park.
You should ice that hand.
No, this was a bad idea.
I really should get going.
It was a wonderful idea.
Tammy would love to see you by surprise.
Why did you only apply to one school? I had a back up, but I shouldn't tell you this.
You can tell me.
Well, the head of admissions was a little fresh with me.
What school? Peter, you can't punch everyone.
Maybe I should've never left the city.
The city's become a toilet.
Well, it's difficult out here.
I don't have a lot of friends.
I don't believe that.
It's the husbands.
I don't want to hear this.
Every time I want to do something Go into town, any social event They won't leave me alone.
Then I think, "Who am I kidding?" In 10 years, everyone will leave me alone.
" That is not true.
You're ageless.
I'm feeling sorry for myself.
This has been an ordeal.
I'll solve the school problem in 30 days.
All it requires is a check.
- Tell Tammy I love her.
- You never take no for an answer.
- Actually, can I use your phone? - Yes, of course.
- Where's Pete? - He may be meeting us there.
Good, I made it.
- You need anything? - Not now.
I just talked Secor Laxatives into joining us.
- Go ahead.
- Where they difficult to move? All I had to do was not make that joke.
- Shall we? - (elevator bell dings) (laughs) Hello, Susie's office.
How many I help you? (sighs) Okay.
We got three boys, three girls.
- Top picks.
- She has a lisp.
Lisps are cute.
We could pluck that eyebrow.
You know what? I don't care.
You decide.
I know you don't mean that.
Okay.
You can't tell anyone.
- You can't even tell Elaine.
- That won't be a problem.
- Why? - What is it? McCann's taking over the agency.
We're moving over there.
- Jesus, to McCann? - Shh.
- (stapler clicks) - (screams) - What happened? - I stapled my thumb.
Oh, it's okay.
I know it hurts.
It happens all the time.
Oh, great.
Go get some ice.
- You get ice, I'll pull out the staple.
- No.
Oh, here she is.
It was an accident.
- What is going on? - I'll get the first aid kit.
- She stapled her finger.
- Susie Q, let mommy see.
- Very sorry.
- We're going to the emergency room.
It's not that bad.
You shouldn't let a child play with dangerous things.
You shouldn't have abandoned her in a midtown office building.
It's nobody's fault.
I had to go pick up my son because your audition ran two hours late.
So you just left an eight year old at a job interview? This is her favorite thing.
She loves it.
- And I bet you love cashing her checks.
- Peggy.
You do what you want with your children, I do what I want with mine.
How the hell did that turn into that? Her.
I know you got other things on your mind, but Let's just get back to work.
(sighs) Sure.
I'm sorry to have kept you waiting, but you're 20 minutes early.
We just wanted to get everything ready.
For what? Gentlemen, would you please have a seat? You see that? We could use some manners around here.
I don't know about that, but we are here to discuss everything we can add to McCann-Erickson.
- So are we.
- Go on.
Our agencies compliment each other in so many ways.
But as we considered this union, we were alarmed at how much business we would all be giving up due to conflicts.
There will be casualties.
Sunkist Orange Juice, Burger Chef, Secor Laxatives, and Tinker Bell Cookies cannot come along.
$18 million in billings.
But what if we could service those clients from the modest offices of SC&P West? The best part is we'd still be available to you in any capacity you wish.
California.
It's a gold rush out there.
In fact, we've made several Don.
Don.
Don, stop.
This isn't necessary.
Jim, would you let him finish? - Can you give us a minute? - Yes, absolutely.
- Do you want this? - No.
This is $275,000 in profit.
All cost covered that you don't have to lift a finger to earn.
Don, sit down.
Please.
I'm sick about the way this was handled.
It made the whole thing look very capricious.
I assure you, it wasn't.
And you have to believe me when I say we're rolling out the red carpet.
We're very excited about this.
- You can understand our attachment to our clients.
- And our name.
I don't think you understand what's happened.
It's done.
You passed the test.
You are getting five of the most coveted jobs in advertising.
And all the resources that go with it.
Travel, adventure.
An international presence.
I shouldn't have to sell you on this.
You are dying and going to advertising heaven.
Buick.
Ortho Pharmaceutical.
Nabisco.
(whispers) Coca-Cola.
Stop struggling.
You won.
Take the rest of the day off.
Pop some champagne.
"I Followed My Heart" playing I feel like I should make a toast.
Again? Well, we didn't drink to Cooper.
Glad he missed it.
Well, I have to go.
Kevin can wait.
We should get dinner.
I have plans.
Come back after.
Actually, I'll drop you off.
I should call Trudy.
She had quite a day as well.
We went down swinging.
Don't be a baby.
I'll see you tomorrow.
I'm going to get another round.
This is my last one.
I have a date.
You never worked at a place this size, have you? It's got a lot of advantages.
You never saw the old Sterling Cooper.
- It was mammoth.
- Not like this.
You're happy about it.
That's okay, I understand.
I'm relieved.
I'm ready to let someone else drive for a while.
I'd like to make a toast to Lou Avery.
The Japs are going to eat him alive.
(both chuckle) What a disaster.
Come on, Joan.
I need you to be the voice of the bright side.
Hobart listed off accounts for everyone but me.
Put you on Ortho Pharmaceutical.
No.
And I wouldn't count on anything he said.
I don't know.
For the first time, I feel like whatever happens is supposed to happen.
That's nice.
That's what you should've said.
Well, we both know they're never going to take me seriously over there.
They don't know who they're dealing with.
I can't do any work.
(sighs) Look, I've hunted for a job before, and I may not have to, but I appreciate the warning.
No, I keep thinking about that woman.
Her kid got hurt.
She felt guilty.
I know what she felt.
I understand the entire psychological situation.
She shouldn't have talked to me that way.
She shouldn't have kids.
That's not for you to say.
Ah, Jesus, I can't even agree with you.
I don't hate kids.
Look, you got to a certain point in your life and it didn't happen.
I understand you're angry about it, but you've got a lot of other things.
- Don't do that.
- I mean it.
You couldn't have done all you've done otherwise.
I guess that's the secret to your spectacular career? The fact that you don't have kids? Not that I know of.
That's funny to you.
Because it wouldn't matter if you did.
You can walk away.
I would never do that.
But you may not even know.
That's what you said.
"Stranger on the Shore" playing.
It's been a long day.
You're right.
I didn't mean to judge her.
But you did and you don't understand it at all.
I had a mother.
And she wasn't great.
And I don't know that she wanted me, so I understand something.
But you don't understand your mother.
Well, maybe I don't want to.
Maybe she was very young.
And followed her heart and got in trouble.
And no one should have to make a mistake just like a man does and not be able to move on.
She should be able to live the rest of her life just like a man does.
You're right.
I know.
Maybe you do what you thought was the best thing.
(sighs) What did you do? I'm I'm here.
And Oh.
He's with a family somewhere.
I don't know, but it's not because I don't care.
I don't know because you're not supposed to know.
Or you can't go on with your life.
I'm sorry.
I didn't know that.
Well, ahem, you don't know lots of things about lots of people.
That's the point.
No, it's not.
I'm fine.
I have work to do.
You know, I made a deal with God that if this worked out, I would give up smoking.
Message received.
You're a young man with an incredible future ahead of you.
("I Love So Much About You" playing.
) No more Sterling Cooper and no more Sterlings.
Margaret is the only daughter of an only son of an only son.
All that's left is a mausoleum at Greenwood.
What's in a name? Every copywriter thinks they're Shakespeare.
It's something to aspire to.
I always envied that.
The way you're always reaching.
I always envied you didn't have to.
In another lifetime, I'd have been your chauffeur.
Then you would've been screwing my grandmother.
- Do you have somewhere to be? - I'm afraid so.
Tell her to join us.
She wouldn't like it.
You wouldn't like it.
Now I've got to meet her.
You have.
It's Marie.
Marie Calvet.
You're serious? Guess I should've asked your permission.
Just warn me before you tell Megan.
- I want to leave the country.
- She knows.
Then why didn't you tell me? I wanted to make sure it wasn't going away.
She's crazy, you know? When I married my secretary, you were hard on me.
And then you went and did the same thing.
You know what? For the second time today, I surrender.
- I'm happy for you.
- Thank you.
You are okay.
(siren wailing) (knocks) (TV playing) Can I help you? I'm sorry.
I must have the wrong apartment.
Kenneth, do you know this guy? I've never seen him before.
I swear.
No, I was looking for Diana Baur.
She used to live here.
Oh.
Well, we just moved in.
Do you know how to reach her? She left her furniture.
The manager told us to sell it.
Sorry to bother you.
You want another drink? Good morning.
What did Caroline say? They're making lists.
Somebody's not going.
The last thing they need is another office manager.
Or another black girl.
I'm Roger Sterling's second secretary.
Caroline's going to elbow me out the window.
What are you talking about? My goodness, Meredith.
We should put a bell on you.
Good morning.
What is going on? There are rumors flying like bats around here.
What have you heard? Nothing from you.
Are we going to McCann and am I going with you? Meredith, sweetheart Don't "sweetheart" me.
In a month, you're not going to have an office and you're not going to have an apartment.
Do you want to lose me, too? I was going to tell you today.
You are coming with me if you want to go.
Now, can I get some Alka-Seltzer? No.
It is not a normal day.
Everyone's living in a fright.
You're right.
Get Mr.
Sterling on the line.
(phone ringing) Marsha.
- This is Peggy.
- It's me.
Where are you? Locked in my office.
Bourbon with my breakfast.
Did you figure out what you're going to do? I'm going to McCann.
Really? And you can too if you want.
You think I should? Everything's going to be fine.
(sighs) I'm so dumb, I believe you.
Stay on the phone, will you? Sure.
(murmuring) Can I have your attention, everyone? Some of you may have heard already, but we're proud to announce that Sterling Cooper & Partners will be moving to McCann-Erickson.
(murmuring) Now our president, Roger Sterling, would like to say a word.
We know this news may come as a surprise, but McCann has assured us the transition will be as smooth as possible.
(murmuring louder) They've already set aside room for us.
(murmuring continues) This is good news.
We didn't do this.
Hold on.
This is the beginning of something not the end.
("Money Burns A Hole In My Pocket" playing) Money Burns a hole in my pocket How I wish I had millions of dollars And nothing to do But just buy Pretty presents for you Money Burns a hole in my pocket
) Oh, my God.
You have to taste it.
Shouldn't we wait for Don? Chateau Margaux '53.
Considered by some the best there is.
So, you were talking about Ziploc.
Was I? Yes.
You were saying that we might be in the running.
No, I said I was still deciding.
I see.
So you would like to know why the agency that has over-performed on Handi-Wrap, Oven Cleaner, Bathroom Cleaner, and corporate image cleaner, is worthy of more business? Well, I don't know about Bathroom Cleaner.
"Germ killer"? It makes people think of shit.
You didn't express that.
I expressed ambivalence and you went the wrong way.
(chuckles) Yes, of course.
So would you like us to redo the work? As I said, Pete, I haven't decided.
Please, Ken, don't get up.
I apologize.
I couldn't get a cab.
I should let you try Ken's incredible wine.
But first, I think you should know that Ken prefers the "bright and shiny" bathroom strategy because he says "germ killer" makes people think of poop.
(laughs) Don't have second thoughts, Ken.
You picked the right strategy.
Okay.
Okay? Should we order? Woman on phone: Good evening, Mr.
Draper.
You have three phone calls.
One at 7:00 from Tricia Reynolds and two from Diana Baur at 9:00 and 9:30.
Diana Baur? What's the message? I'm sorry, what was the message? Actually, I see here.
I wasn't supposed to give you her second message.
Or her first.
My goodness.
Why don't they just throw these out? Do you know who spoke with her? Yes, and I'll report this.
I work with birdbrains.
No, it's fine.
I just Did she leave a number? No.
I'm sorry.
(sighs) Will you let everyone know I'll pick up my own calls tonight? Yes, of course.
And again, I apologize, Mr.
Draper.
Good night.
Caroline! Do you read the mail or do you just open it? Shirley opened the mail.
I'll get her.
No, go get whoever is responsible for paying our lease.
Dawn Chambers.
Joan! Get in here! Joan! Don't do that.
You're gonna have to fire Dawn.
She didn't pay the lease.
I'll take care of this.
(elevator bell dings) - (intercom buzzes) - I have Trudy Campbell.
Well, hello, Trudy.
How are you? Frankly, not good at all.
What did I do? No, it's Tammy.
She was on the wait list at Greenwich Country Day and they promised her admission, but they didn't keep their word.
What was she doing on the wait list at all? My father's entire family went to that school.
They know who are you, Peter.
And they know who I am.
And they know that we're divorced.
Greenwich, Connecticut, is built on divorced money.
Don't yell at me.
I've arranged for a meeting with the headmaster and I'd like for you to accompany me to show that we're in this together, if nothing else.
Yes, of course.
Tomorrow.
Just once, I'd like some notice.
I didn't want to involve you at all.
(laughing) You got me this time, Kirby.
You're all fired.
Hold on.
Someone at McCann-Erickson gave notice in writing.
I was never informed.
We were never informed.
Well, it's obviously a mistake.
Get Jim Hobart no, Ferg Donnelly on the horn.
Just a minute.
Ladies, this is how rumors get started.
So this stays in this room till things get sorted out.
Back to work.
I'll get Ferg.
(organ playing) So now I just want you to play.
Just pretend we're not here.
(turns organ off) I'm giving you my permission to play with all these great toys.
Do what you would do if we weren't watching.
Really? That's what you'd do? What's wrong with them? You said you didn't want actors.
Well, real kids are shy.
And you have to talk to them like people.
They all have their own toy.
If we want enthusiasm, we should just have one toy.
Like a battle royale.
Just throw one in there and the last kid standing gets the gig.
It would work.
You hate kids.
You know what? I want to see how far you can throw that.
- (kids laughing) - Take it easy.
Rog, I'm on my way to lunch.
What can I do for you? It'll just take a second.
Someone over there accidentally gave notice on our lease and I need you to fix it.
Oh.
Well, actually Actually what? You really need to talk to Jim about it.
About what? What the hell is going on, Ferg? Roger, calm down.
I think you'll see it's all good news.
Go ahead.
Well, we're gonna move your whole office into our building at the end of the month.
Why? We don't mind paying people, but it seems ridiculous to rent two floors of the Time Life Building when we have plenty of space over here.
Hold on, are we losing the office or the agency? That's the wrong way to look at it.
We're bringing you home.
This is my home.
Are you dissolving us? I'm gonna set a meeting with Jim for tomorrow.
Look, this was supposed to be the last thing done, not the first.
Were you planning this all along? Would you stop it? It's going to be great.
Roger.
What do I do? (typewriter clacking) Can I help you? Really pulled one over on us.
Who? What are you doing here? Roger, you can't just tell Don.
- Tell Don what? - Do you need ice? We're not to be disturbed.
- Go ahead.
- No.
McCann's moving us to their building.
We lost our lease.
Everything must go.
So we're moving? I'd love a new view.
No, Pete, I don't think that's all there is to it.
We're being swallowed up.
We have 30 days.
SC&P has conflicts.
That's why we exist.
Don't you understand? We don't exist.
Our rent is too high.
- Anybody else? - Yes, please.
That's it? Have a drink? Well, I'm not going.
You want to give up the rest of your money? We all have four-year contracts and a noncompete.
I did not agree to this.
Yes, you did.
The minute we sold them the company, we all agreed to it.
After all that, Jim Cutler wins.
All that cash and no McCann.
I hate that guy.
I like it over there.
Because you're a sheep.
Knock it off.
We've got a meeting with Jim Hobart tomorrow to discuss the details.
Let's try and be dignified.
Keep it in this room until we have orders.
That explains the forecast they wanted.
I'm sorry.
They waited so long, I thought we were safe.
Betsy Wheeler.
Okay, Betsy, I'm glad that's you.
Peggy, may I speak with you? - Maybe later.
- It's very important.
I'll be right back.
- (sighs) - What's wrong? I'm telling you this because I don't know, because no one else will.
And you really need to know.
We're being absorbed by McCann.
(sighs) Are they letting me go? No, they'll need you for a while.
Maybe forever.
All I know is having a leg up on the rats who fly off this ship is going to help you.
I would want it.
Oh.
Are you going? I have to.
I've never worked anywhere else.
You'll do great.
You should get back to work.
For your ears only.
Hello.
It's me.
I love a call from you in the middle of the day.
I just wanted to hear your voice.
Even better.
What do you want me to say? I got some bad news at work.
(sniffles) Hey.
I don't care how bad it is.
It's not that bad.
You don't know that.
We can talk about it tomorrow when I'm there.
I didn't know you were coming.
Lisa, get me on the redeye to New York.
Now you know.
(knocks on door) Melanie called.
She has two two bedrooms to show you tonight.
And it's five minutes till the Mohawk status meeting.
Cancel everything.
What's wrong? It's personal, honey.
(phone ringing) Don Draper's office.
I'll see if he's available.
It's Lou Avery calling from California.
(sighs) Shit.
I better take it.
Do you mind? - Hello, Lou.
- Don.
I think we need to have a conversation.
Look, we just found out.
I told Dee not to say anything, but good you know.
I'm moving next week.
When did they tell you? A couple weeks ago.
I thought about it for 10 seconds, then I thought, "So what if it's Tokyo? It's my lifelong dream.
" They have an office in Tokyo? They only have an office in Tokyo.
What are you talking about? Tatsunoko Productions.
They're making "Scout's Honor" into a cartoon.
What did you think I was talking about? It doesn't matter.
They made "Speed Racer," Don.
I got a $15,000 advance.
Obviously, my mind's made up.
Obviously.
I wish I could see the look on your face.
I bet you're not laughing anymore, are you? No, Lou, I'm not.
Well, sayonara, my friend.
Enjoy the rest of your miserable life.
(laughs) (sighs) (exhales sharply) Meredith.
If we're trying to keep the office calm, closing those curtains is a bad idea.
So spill it.
Have you heard something? Yes, I did.
Lou's moving to Tokyo.
I'm not even going to tell you why because it would give him pleasure.
The point is Sterling Cooper West is empty.
Of course it's empty.
It's the first drop out of the teapot.
What I'm saying is it's available.
We can run a business out of there.
We have no business.
I was looking at McCann's rosters and there's going to be a lot of clients they can't hold on to Conflicts.
Take Sunkist for example.
It's 10 million in billings and growing.
Coca-Cola owns Minute Maid, so Sunkist is gone.
Burger Chef, it's four million and they just dumped McCann for us.
They keep telling me their future's in California.
Exactly.
What's our square footage out there? An old girlfriend measured it.
What I'm saying is there's business in California.
If we can work out of a bassinet, we can make McCann money that they'd have to throw away.
"We"? I don't want to go back to California.
That's good.
You don't have to.
Stay here, they'd like that.
Anyone else want to stay here? Are we really playing this game? Dow Chemical.
McCann fired Ken.
And I mean fired him out of a cannon.
He ain't going near that place.
- How much is that? - Seven.
But Ken doesn't like us either.
But he loves feeling the tip of your nose in the seat of his pants.
I'll take care of Ken.
What about Avon? I'm sorry, but it's not a conflict.
But I have the relationship.
No, that would be stealing a client.
Avon has to go to McCann and you have to help them keep it.
We're going to hand deliver all of the clients they want.
We're meeting with Jim Hobart tomorrow and we can't cancel.
You think we can secure three accounts in 24 hours? We've done it before.
(door shuts) I'm sorry it's so hot in here.
I'm sorry about the intrusion, but this is the only place where we know we won't be seen.
Well, I'm comfortable here.
The question is, how does it look out there? Considering most firms are Ivy League only and you don't even have a degree, the landscape looks very promising.
Who wants me? Well, I can list a bunch of initials or I could tell you what I really think.
You're the expert.
What's the best offer? McCann-Erickson.
I don't want to go there.
That's why I called you.
I understand that.
Look, I'm foregoing a commission here because I'm a career builder.
I want to help you find a job over and over again.
And sooner or later, you're going to have to go through a place like McCann.
Big company.
Big products.
National influence.
You shouldn't stay longer than three years, but that's where you should go.
But what else is out there? Plenty.
For a lot less money with a lot less cachet.
But you go to McCann and by 1973, you'll be looking at four times the salary.
So that's it? You could've just called me and told me this.
I want you to consider it seriously before we take meetings.
Because word always gets out and McCann is vindictive.
You're really selling it.
It's a huge opportunity.
(people shouting) Come in.
Glad you could make it.
- I feel like a spy.
- You look like one.
We have caviar.
Your favorite red.
Chateau Margaux '53.
I'll have a snort.
Look, ahem, they're dissolving the agency.
All the business is moving to McCann.
They finally got you.
They ate you up.
We know it was hard enough to convince you to stay when McCann bought us.
I can't imagine how you feel about things now.
Yeah, I'm not going.
So we are proposing that we retain our independence in our California office with a few select clients who've insisted on it.
Who else is going? Burger Chef and Sunkist so far.
It's strictly for conflicts.
And, well, conflicts.
Tell your superiors nothing is going to change.
I know I always come at you guns blazing, but to them, I'm still the new guy and Ed's son-in-law.
I can't suggest a move this bold.
Boldness is always rewarded, am I right, Pete? I don't want to make Ken do anything he doesn't want to do.
Now he obviously thinks it's less bold to change agencies.
You're wrong.
Dow would be thrilled to finally have all their accounts at McManus, John & Adams.
Kenny, you know that we know this account inside and out and we have Don Draper.
That's why you stayed anyway.
That's true.
We've done this before.
You know we can.
You know, I've fantasized that one day I'd be in this situation with you, Roger.
And, Pete, well, you're not exactly an innocent bystander.
I've toyed with you long enough.
No.
Sorry about that.
(sighs) How do I describe California in a way that doesn't make them jealous? Tell them my ex-wife lives there.
(chuckles) Mine, too, so what? I know you're attached to California.
I don't know what it means to you, but it doesn't mean anything to me.
It does mean something to me.
I always feel bad about taking your spot when I saw what happened to you.
It should have been you out there, not me.
You were very persuasive.
I was misguided.
I met someone.
She's not too young and she's gorgeous and a little bit deep.
Where'd you find a girl like that? I knew her in college.
She's divorced, too, but no kids.
I bumped into her on Third Avenue and we couldn't remember why it didn't work out.
Oh.
Congratulations.
I hope you understand, she can't leave New York and I can't leave her.
Stop it.
You're helping us by staying here.
Roger called.
Dow's a no.
Let me talk to Ken.
I suggested that and Roger said it's quite final.
(sighs) Well, let's comb through the small accounts.
See if we can cobble a couple million together.
I'll go get the files.
Do you want more coffee? I want to get on with this.
I have someplace to be, Trudy.
- Good morning.
- Peter Campbell.
Sorry to keep you waiting.
Well, I assume you know why we're here, Mr.
MacDonald.
We feel there's been a mistake regarding our daughter Tammy.
It's a Campbell family tradition to receive the inimitable education of Greenwich Country Day.
But you didn't go here.
No, but a Campbell has been in attendance since it was a barn.
(both chuckle) I'm sorry, but our decision is final.
Now, Trudy explained to me that you said it's a question of space.
And I say Tammy would make it worth your while.
She wouldn't feel extra at all.
It's not a question of space.
Your little girl scored very low on her draw-a-man test.
Well, that's news to us.
And I find it hard to believe.
Your ex-wife and I discussed this.
Children have to draw a man and their development is assessed based on the volume of details.
Eyes, nose, ears, 10 fingers, Your daughter had only a head, mustache, and necktie.
- Mustache? - She didn't understand what you wanted.
And I've been told anything beyond a stick figure is considered advanced for her age.
Albert Einstein didn't speak until he was four years old.
This is not about your little girl.
The real problem is that your former wife failed to submit applications to other schools.
That was careless and arrogant.
- What? - How dare you? I think we've said all there is to say.
We're not leaving until you apologize to Trudy.
Peter, it doesn't matter.
Einstein.
Would you like to step outside? Are you sure you wouldn't rather get me while I'm sleeping? Like a real Campbell? Are you kidding me? No MacDonald will ever mix with a Campbell.
- (scoffs) - What are you talking about? It's some stupid story.
It's 300 years old.
He's obviously nuts.
You should know that his clan took advantage of the gift of hospitality and murdered my ancestors while they slept.
The king ordered it.
Just be grateful you can remarry and get rid of that name.
Oh.
Come on, Trudy.
Another sucker punch from the Campbell's.
Coward.
I'm sorry, sweetheart, the auditions are finished.
I already auditioned.
I'm waiting for my mother.
Where is she? She had to pick up my brother.
He has another audition.
Look, Phil, it's a very simple transaction.
We've been doing it for years.
Shirley, will you watch her? I have every right to be upset because I'm an important buyer and you're acting like an asshole.
Maybe we should go downstairs.
I'll see if Marsha's back from lunch.
Do you know your phone number? Did I get the part? We haven't decided.
Verna? Her purse is gone.
They must be at the park.
You should ice that hand.
No, this was a bad idea.
I really should get going.
It was a wonderful idea.
Tammy would love to see you by surprise.
Why did you only apply to one school? I had a back up, but I shouldn't tell you this.
You can tell me.
Well, the head of admissions was a little fresh with me.
What school? Peter, you can't punch everyone.
Maybe I should've never left the city.
The city's become a toilet.
Well, it's difficult out here.
I don't have a lot of friends.
I don't believe that.
It's the husbands.
I don't want to hear this.
Every time I want to do something Go into town, any social event They won't leave me alone.
Then I think, "Who am I kidding?" In 10 years, everyone will leave me alone.
" That is not true.
You're ageless.
I'm feeling sorry for myself.
This has been an ordeal.
I'll solve the school problem in 30 days.
All it requires is a check.
- Tell Tammy I love her.
- You never take no for an answer.
- Actually, can I use your phone? - Yes, of course.
- Where's Pete? - He may be meeting us there.
Good, I made it.
- You need anything? - Not now.
I just talked Secor Laxatives into joining us.
- Go ahead.
- Where they difficult to move? All I had to do was not make that joke.
- Shall we? - (elevator bell dings) (laughs) Hello, Susie's office.
How many I help you? (sighs) Okay.
We got three boys, three girls.
- Top picks.
- She has a lisp.
Lisps are cute.
We could pluck that eyebrow.
You know what? I don't care.
You decide.
I know you don't mean that.
Okay.
You can't tell anyone.
- You can't even tell Elaine.
- That won't be a problem.
- Why? - What is it? McCann's taking over the agency.
We're moving over there.
- Jesus, to McCann? - Shh.
- (stapler clicks) - (screams) - What happened? - I stapled my thumb.
Oh, it's okay.
I know it hurts.
It happens all the time.
Oh, great.
Go get some ice.
- You get ice, I'll pull out the staple.
- No.
Oh, here she is.
It was an accident.
- What is going on? - I'll get the first aid kit.
- She stapled her finger.
- Susie Q, let mommy see.
- Very sorry.
- We're going to the emergency room.
It's not that bad.
You shouldn't let a child play with dangerous things.
You shouldn't have abandoned her in a midtown office building.
It's nobody's fault.
I had to go pick up my son because your audition ran two hours late.
So you just left an eight year old at a job interview? This is her favorite thing.
She loves it.
- And I bet you love cashing her checks.
- Peggy.
You do what you want with your children, I do what I want with mine.
How the hell did that turn into that? Her.
I know you got other things on your mind, but Let's just get back to work.
(sighs) Sure.
I'm sorry to have kept you waiting, but you're 20 minutes early.
We just wanted to get everything ready.
For what? Gentlemen, would you please have a seat? You see that? We could use some manners around here.
I don't know about that, but we are here to discuss everything we can add to McCann-Erickson.
- So are we.
- Go on.
Our agencies compliment each other in so many ways.
But as we considered this union, we were alarmed at how much business we would all be giving up due to conflicts.
There will be casualties.
Sunkist Orange Juice, Burger Chef, Secor Laxatives, and Tinker Bell Cookies cannot come along.
$18 million in billings.
But what if we could service those clients from the modest offices of SC&P West? The best part is we'd still be available to you in any capacity you wish.
California.
It's a gold rush out there.
In fact, we've made several Don.
Don.
Don, stop.
This isn't necessary.
Jim, would you let him finish? - Can you give us a minute? - Yes, absolutely.
- Do you want this? - No.
This is $275,000 in profit.
All cost covered that you don't have to lift a finger to earn.
Don, sit down.
Please.
I'm sick about the way this was handled.
It made the whole thing look very capricious.
I assure you, it wasn't.
And you have to believe me when I say we're rolling out the red carpet.
We're very excited about this.
- You can understand our attachment to our clients.
- And our name.
I don't think you understand what's happened.
It's done.
You passed the test.
You are getting five of the most coveted jobs in advertising.
And all the resources that go with it.
Travel, adventure.
An international presence.
I shouldn't have to sell you on this.
You are dying and going to advertising heaven.
Buick.
Ortho Pharmaceutical.
Nabisco.
(whispers) Coca-Cola.
Stop struggling.
You won.
Take the rest of the day off.
Pop some champagne.
"I Followed My Heart" playing I feel like I should make a toast.
Again? Well, we didn't drink to Cooper.
Glad he missed it.
Well, I have to go.
Kevin can wait.
We should get dinner.
I have plans.
Come back after.
Actually, I'll drop you off.
I should call Trudy.
She had quite a day as well.
We went down swinging.
Don't be a baby.
I'll see you tomorrow.
I'm going to get another round.
This is my last one.
I have a date.
You never worked at a place this size, have you? It's got a lot of advantages.
You never saw the old Sterling Cooper.
- It was mammoth.
- Not like this.
You're happy about it.
That's okay, I understand.
I'm relieved.
I'm ready to let someone else drive for a while.
I'd like to make a toast to Lou Avery.
The Japs are going to eat him alive.
(both chuckle) What a disaster.
Come on, Joan.
I need you to be the voice of the bright side.
Hobart listed off accounts for everyone but me.
Put you on Ortho Pharmaceutical.
No.
And I wouldn't count on anything he said.
I don't know.
For the first time, I feel like whatever happens is supposed to happen.
That's nice.
That's what you should've said.
Well, we both know they're never going to take me seriously over there.
They don't know who they're dealing with.
I can't do any work.
(sighs) Look, I've hunted for a job before, and I may not have to, but I appreciate the warning.
No, I keep thinking about that woman.
Her kid got hurt.
She felt guilty.
I know what she felt.
I understand the entire psychological situation.
She shouldn't have talked to me that way.
She shouldn't have kids.
That's not for you to say.
Ah, Jesus, I can't even agree with you.
I don't hate kids.
Look, you got to a certain point in your life and it didn't happen.
I understand you're angry about it, but you've got a lot of other things.
- Don't do that.
- I mean it.
You couldn't have done all you've done otherwise.
I guess that's the secret to your spectacular career? The fact that you don't have kids? Not that I know of.
That's funny to you.
Because it wouldn't matter if you did.
You can walk away.
I would never do that.
But you may not even know.
That's what you said.
"Stranger on the Shore" playing.
It's been a long day.
You're right.
I didn't mean to judge her.
But you did and you don't understand it at all.
I had a mother.
And she wasn't great.
And I don't know that she wanted me, so I understand something.
But you don't understand your mother.
Well, maybe I don't want to.
Maybe she was very young.
And followed her heart and got in trouble.
And no one should have to make a mistake just like a man does and not be able to move on.
She should be able to live the rest of her life just like a man does.
You're right.
I know.
Maybe you do what you thought was the best thing.
(sighs) What did you do? I'm I'm here.
And Oh.
He's with a family somewhere.
I don't know, but it's not because I don't care.
I don't know because you're not supposed to know.
Or you can't go on with your life.
I'm sorry.
I didn't know that.
Well, ahem, you don't know lots of things about lots of people.
That's the point.
No, it's not.
I'm fine.
I have work to do.
You know, I made a deal with God that if this worked out, I would give up smoking.
Message received.
You're a young man with an incredible future ahead of you.
("I Love So Much About You" playing.
) No more Sterling Cooper and no more Sterlings.
Margaret is the only daughter of an only son of an only son.
All that's left is a mausoleum at Greenwood.
What's in a name? Every copywriter thinks they're Shakespeare.
It's something to aspire to.
I always envied that.
The way you're always reaching.
I always envied you didn't have to.
In another lifetime, I'd have been your chauffeur.
Then you would've been screwing my grandmother.
- Do you have somewhere to be? - I'm afraid so.
Tell her to join us.
She wouldn't like it.
You wouldn't like it.
Now I've got to meet her.
You have.
It's Marie.
Marie Calvet.
You're serious? Guess I should've asked your permission.
Just warn me before you tell Megan.
- I want to leave the country.
- She knows.
Then why didn't you tell me? I wanted to make sure it wasn't going away.
She's crazy, you know? When I married my secretary, you were hard on me.
And then you went and did the same thing.
You know what? For the second time today, I surrender.
- I'm happy for you.
- Thank you.
You are okay.
(siren wailing) (knocks) (TV playing) Can I help you? I'm sorry.
I must have the wrong apartment.
Kenneth, do you know this guy? I've never seen him before.
I swear.
No, I was looking for Diana Baur.
She used to live here.
Oh.
Well, we just moved in.
Do you know how to reach her? She left her furniture.
The manager told us to sell it.
Sorry to bother you.
You want another drink? Good morning.
What did Caroline say? They're making lists.
Somebody's not going.
The last thing they need is another office manager.
Or another black girl.
I'm Roger Sterling's second secretary.
Caroline's going to elbow me out the window.
What are you talking about? My goodness, Meredith.
We should put a bell on you.
Good morning.
What is going on? There are rumors flying like bats around here.
What have you heard? Nothing from you.
Are we going to McCann and am I going with you? Meredith, sweetheart Don't "sweetheart" me.
In a month, you're not going to have an office and you're not going to have an apartment.
Do you want to lose me, too? I was going to tell you today.
You are coming with me if you want to go.
Now, can I get some Alka-Seltzer? No.
It is not a normal day.
Everyone's living in a fright.
You're right.
Get Mr.
Sterling on the line.
(phone ringing) Marsha.
- This is Peggy.
- It's me.
Where are you? Locked in my office.
Bourbon with my breakfast.
Did you figure out what you're going to do? I'm going to McCann.
Really? And you can too if you want.
You think I should? Everything's going to be fine.
(sighs) I'm so dumb, I believe you.
Stay on the phone, will you? Sure.
(murmuring) Can I have your attention, everyone? Some of you may have heard already, but we're proud to announce that Sterling Cooper & Partners will be moving to McCann-Erickson.
(murmuring) Now our president, Roger Sterling, would like to say a word.
We know this news may come as a surprise, but McCann has assured us the transition will be as smooth as possible.
(murmuring louder) They've already set aside room for us.
(murmuring continues) This is good news.
We didn't do this.
Hold on.
This is the beginning of something not the end.
("Money Burns A Hole In My Pocket" playing) Money Burns a hole in my pocket How I wish I had millions of dollars And nothing to do But just buy Pretty presents for you Money Burns a hole in my pocket