Monk s07e11 Episode Script

What happened, are you okay? What's wrong? I stepped on something.
It crackled when I stepped on it.
Then it sort of smooshed.
Then there was this tiny pop.
What is it? What is it? - You mean what was it? Do something.
Do something! - All right.
I'm taking off your shoe, I'll wipe it off.
No, just throw it away.
- I'm not going to throw it away.
Throw it.
Did you see that? - See what? God, are you okay? - What are you doing, Natalie? Well, he might need help.
- No, he's fine.
I can see it from here.
None of our business.
Okay, come back here.
I command you.
Are you okay? - What about me? I must've hit a pothole.
- What about me? Are those yours? Are those yours? That's my bolt cutters.
I just came from work.
They're nice.
- Here.
Hate this chain.
They always fall off.
Here, you just snap it back on.
Thanks a lot.
- There you go.
Glad I could help.
- I'm lucky you came along.
Be careful of the potholes.
Hey, somebody stop that guy! Don't let him go! Lady, don't let him go! What did you do? - I Hey, somebody stop that guy! He stole my bike! = 711 = - " Mr.
Monk on Wheels " VO : ¤AkaZab¤ Subs-Addicts" [Sub-way.
fr.]
I feel terrible about what happened.
I didn't know he was stealing the bike.
Nobody got hurt, that's the main thing.
What is all this? - It's a research lab.
Agricultural engineering.
Dean, Dean Berry founded betavegatech five years ago.
So what exactly do you do? - We're saving the world.
Good for you.
I was getting a little worried about the world.
Is that a square tomato?! Yes, it is.
It's a pet project of Dean's.
The square shape means that farmers can pack 35% more tomatoes per carton.
It's cheaper.
More efficient.
- So that means every slice is exactly the same size? How does it taste? - Who cares? It's a square tomato! You're doing the lord's work.
- Literally.
Dean? Mr.
Berry, I just wanted to say I'm sorry about the bike.
We're testing new corn seed.
Their genetically engineered to sprout in 20 min.
- More or less.
What you're seeing is going to revolutionize the agriculture industry as you know - Congratulations on the square tomato.
Do you want one? You could take one home.
What's our time? - 17:30.
Germination complete.
That is our best time yet.
And that, boys and girls, is how you feed 4 billion people.
We're in business.
Call our investors.
Tell them to bring their checkbooks.
I'll set it up for friday.
Dean, this is Adrian Monk.
And, you remember Natalie Teeger? Yes, of course.
The woman who stole my bike.
No, I didn't steal your bike.
- No, you're right.
Aided and abetted.
I believe that that is the term.
I'm sorry, I have to lock these up.
Do you mind turning around? It's just that if somebody else sees this combination, I have to memorize a new one.
And I don't want to waste the gray cells.
Mr.
Berry, look, I want to buy you a new bike.
So if you just tell me the make and the model number, i'm happy to do that.
That's very kind of you, ms.
Teeger.
But that's not a bike that can be replaced.
It was a gift from a non-profit environmental group, in recognition of my work here.
Had my name engraved on it, custom seat, cool lock, eco-friendly hemp basket Okay.
Then we'll track it down for you.
I promise you.
I give you my word that I will find that bike.
Mr.
Monk here is probably the best detective on the planet.
He is? - Yes, sir.
And I know lots of other detectives too.
San Francisco Police Department.
What's going on? You all right? Yeah, we're fine.
You said it was an emergency.
- Somebody stole his bike.
And? - Rode away.
And? - Didn't come back.
And? Okay, we're all cued up.
- Hey, when you have a second I have an idea for a new vegetable.
We don't really solicit ideas.
It's a hollowed out cumber, with french dressing already inside.
You want to know what I call it? - No, I don't.
Okay, there he is.
And that's me.
And this is where she didn't listen to me.
What are you saying right there? - I said, "nice bolt cutters.
" "Nice bolt cutters.
" - So what do you think? Well, I think it's clearly a job for the bike squad.
I'll radio that in.
It's a 487.
- I didn't know there was a bike squad.
Yeah, we got helicopters.
About 800 guys will fan out all around the city.
Fine.
I'll just do it myself.
I can't find it myself, mr.
Monk.
I don't even know where to begin.
Natalie, look at this thing.
We've got nature on the run.
Finally.
Look at that.
Look! It's the perfect sandwich! Perfect! There's no overlap.
There's no waste.
Four 90 degree angles.
This will virtually eliminate indigestion.
Are you going to help me, or not? You can taste the symmetry! - Please! I can't run around looking for a stolen bicycle.
I still have some pride left.
Not much.
But my dignity tank isn't completely empty.
Please, Mr.
Monk.
You are so brilliant.
It wouldn't take you more than a couple of hours.
Look, I promised him.
It can count as my birthday gift.
I didn't plan on buying you a birthday gift.
All right.
I'm cashing in my chips.
What chips? - My karma chips.
I've been collecting karma chips every week, every day, every time I do something stupid for you.
It's your job.
You're paid.
Semi-regularly.
Yeah, I'm not talking about my job.
I'm talking about all the other stuff.
I've been babysitting you for five years.
I've collected, like, a thousand chips.
And I'm cashing them all in.
I'm all in.
You have to help me find the bike.
You'll love this.
You'll love it.
Yeah, what about him? - No.
See he's too tall.
You're guy was only 5'71/2" How do you know? - You're 5'5".
You were wearing 11/2" heels.
And he was one inch taller than you.
See.
See, you're brilliant.
What are you doing here? Triple homicide on a pier? Not exactly.
- We're looking for a stolen bicycle.
Kidding, right? - Natalie had chips.
What about him? You're right.
John kuramoto.
Two convictions.
Auto theft? Why is he stealing bikes? Please tell me this isn't it.
Yeah, 322.
This is it.
Am I going to need a tetanus shot after this? Probably not.
Mr.
Monk, look, the bolt cutters.
Yeah, you're right.
Those are nice.
Maybe he's riding his bike.
I don't see it.
He's right in there.
I can see him.
Playing video games, eating junk food.
What are we doing here? - The right thing.
Open up It's encyclopedia brown.
Sally and I want our blue bike back, and the name of your decorator.
You're not in trouble.
Nobody's going to press charges.
We just want the bike.
All right, just do it again.
Oh, my god, mr.
Monk! Oh, my god, mr.
Monk! Help! Help! Mr.
Monk, it's me.
It's Natalie.
How are you feeling? My leg! My legs! They don't match! - I know.
I know they don't, mr.
Monk.
I am so sorry.
I am so sorry.
I feel just terrible.
Good.
- I talked to the surgeon.
And guess what? You have 100 stitches.
An even 100.
I thought that was nice of him.
And, I brought you some new clothes, so you don't have to worry about that.
Daisies.
Thank you.
I can watch them die.
And they can do the same for me.
Mr.
Monk, don't talk like that.
You're going to be just fine.
Somebody's up.
Hello, good evening.
I'm doctor Levinson.
And you are a very lucky man.
Yeah.
Is she talking to me? A few inches over, the bullet would have severed your femoral artery.
I'd say that's lucky.
- You know who I think is lucky? Everybody else in this room.
The unshot people.
The great unshot.
The lead-free.
Bulletless.
- When can I take him home? Maybe tomorrow if he's up to it.
Are you a fighter, mr.
Monk? The kid.
Kuramoto did they get him? No, he got away.
He went out the back door.
Looks like he took the bike.
It wasn't in the house.
The bike.
Oh, my god! That stupid bike.
What bike? That's why we were there.
We were looking for a stolen bike.
Shooting someone over a bicycle? What's the world coming to? Mr.
Monk, they're going to get him.
The captain, and Randy, and every cop in the city are looking for this guy.
And the captain, I've never seen him so mad.
And that's saying a lot.
I'm sorry.
You don't know where he is? You were staying at his house, Vince.
I'm just crashing at his place for a couple days.
He's just my cousin.
You know where all your cousins are? Where do you think he is, Vince? I don't know.
Tough guy.
Look at this.
See that? That's a bullet.
That's a bullet that got dug out of our very dear friend's leg tonight.
That makes your cousin a former cop shooter.
Former what? - Former cop shooter.
You mean he used to shoot cops? No, he shot someone who used to be a cop.
Why didn't you say that? - D I did.
It's the same thing.
It's not the same thing.
For god's sake, what are you two married, or what? I mean look, it's not complicated, Vince.
If you know where your cousin is, and you're not telling us, that makes you an accessory after the fact.
Aiding and abetting.
- For attempted murder.
Which is a very, very long good-bye.
Let me put it this way, your parole officer he hasn't been born yet.
Look You don't know John.
You know, he's not a bad guy.
Somebody offered him, you know, money to steal a bicycle.
Who? I don't know.
He met someone at a bar.
That's all I know.
Someone paid him to steal that bike? - Yeah, $3,000.
For a bicycle? Wipe.
Wipe.
Wipe.
Wipe! - Why don't I push? Where do you want to go? Over by that wall.
Just planning on staring at it for a couple of weeks.
You know what? How about right here? Right in front of this bright, sunny window.
Told you to forget about that stupid bike.
You never listen to me.
Mr.
Monk, you're right.
I'm so sorry.
This is one of the worst weeks of my life.
Not exactly a banner week for me either.
Let's look on the bright side.
- Okay.
You go first.
The doctor said it was only going to be three weeks.
That's not bad.
And Your shoes won't get dirty or wet.
That's your bright side? My shoes won't get wet? That's not exactly blindingly bright, is it? It's more like a little I bet you're hungry.
How about some lunch? How about a BLT? And not just any ol'BLT.
I'm going to make you a bl-square-t.
No, thank you.
You know what I am in the mood for? What? Just tell me.
Anything.
Some chips.
- Chips.
Karma chips.
I love them.
Just a big bowl of karma chips.
And guacamole.
Mr.
Monk, believe me.
You have all the chips.
You have the whole bank, okay? I talked to Julie.
I told her i'm going to be staying here with you tonight, maybe all weekend.
And you can forget about paying me overtime.
I'll just take the regular salary.
- That's right.
It's payday, isn't it? I wasn't bringing it up because it's payday.
I'm saying you don't have to pay - I'm sorry.
My checkbook is up there.
On the top shelf.
I can't seem to reach it.
Hey, How's our patient? You look great.
Nice wheels.
Does that thing have a motor? I'm the motor.
I just feel terrible.
This is all my fault.
Hey, don't beat yourself up.
Let her finish.
What were you saying? How sorry I was.
That it? - How bad I feel.
We got the forensics back on that bullet.
It was a 22 caliber.
And get this.
We picked up Kuramoto's cousin.
He says it wasn't random.
Kuramoto was after that particular bike.
You're kidding.
Somebody paid him three grand to boost it.
$3,000? Natalie, you got a good look at it.
Was there anything unusual about that bike? Like what? - Solid gold basket? No, I don't think it had a solid gold basket.
Maybe the frame was hollow and had something inside it.
Drugs or cash.
That's what I was thinking.
I think we need to go talk to Dr.
Berry again.
We're on our way to his house right now.
You want to come? I don't think so.
You're going to hang out here feeling sorry for yourself? And complain to Natalie? - That's the plan.
Hey, What are you doing?! - Change of plans.
Change of plans? What happened to my plan? New plan.
Are your hands clean? - Yes, my hands are clean.
Come on.
Upsy-daisy.
- All right, easy now.
That's too fast.
You're going too fast.
This is too fast? - Easy.
Okay just step away.
I can do it myself.
Step away.
I can do it.
- All right.
All right.
- I'll do it.
I can't do it myself.
I can't.
Come on.
Up you come.
- All right, easy now.
Okay, one Ready.
- Okay! What, what? I can do it! I'll do it.
Let me do it.
I'll do it.
I can't do it.
I can't do it myself.
Help m Come here.
There you go.
I can't find the release on this thing.
It's the red latch on the handle.
- This one? On the handle.
The other one.
- The red handle.
Okay, see? Pull it, pull it.
- Just step on the thing.
You got to unlock it.
Grab that side.
Pull.
Pull.
Just push it down.
There you go.
- All right.
I got you.
I got you.
Here we go.
- Here we go.
Easy.
- The solar panel.
Must be "off the grid.
" - Go slow.
Slow.
Easy, easy.
Slow.
Okay, and up.
- Easy.
I'll get it.
Here we go.
On three.
Easy.
- One, two, three.
Hang on.
God! God, that All right.
- Nobody's home.
Sorry.
I do have one suggestion.
Just a thought.
Next time we go somewhere Call ahead first.
Easy, easy.
Go easy.
- Easy! I thought you guys were joking about the bike squad.
I like that car.
- Look at that.
Who is it? - Look at that thing.
What kind of gas mileage do you get with this? Mileage? I haven't worried about mileage in years.
This is aerodynamically perfect.
Built-in solar panels.
This is the future on wheels.
What happened to you? Had chips.
We were looking for your stolen bike, and Mr.
Monk got shot.
Man.
What is happening to us? The family of man, we're hurting each other, we're stealing from each other.
Family of man's starting to sound like a real family.
You know what I'm going to do for you? I am going to adopt ten acres of Brazilian rain forest in your name.
- Thank you.
I don't have to visit it, do i? Or or water it? Or think about it? Professor Berry Somebody paid that young man to steal your bicycle.
Apparently they paid him a lot of money.
You're kidding.
- We were hoping you could tell us why.
Was there anything unusual about your bike? Like what? - A gold basket.
Or Or what? - Or anything else.
Could some could somethin have been hidden inside the frame? I can't imagine it.
The frame was filled with polycarbonate honeycomb for better stability.
I understand the bike was a gift? It was.
From the visionary project.
- I've never heard of them.
Neither had I until the bike arrived.
Sarah Longson, my assistant, wheeled it in with a big bow, and a very, very complimentary letter.
Do you still have the letter? - I shredded it.
Repulped it.
Recycled it.
- Of course you did.
That's okay, we can figure out who they are if they do exist.
I don't understand.
It doesn't make any sense.
Well, one thing's for sure, it makes a lot of sense to somebody.
Over here.
- You scared me.
Were you followed? It's cool, it's cool.
I did what you said.
I took two buses.
Sorry about that cop.
Okay, I I didn't have a choice.
I got two strikes against me already.
I couldn't take another hit.
Of course, it couldn't be helped.
It was him or you, right? It's payday.
There's a little extra in there.
Travel expenses.
You shot a cop.
You're going to have to disappear for a while.
I don't see a problem with that.
If you're ever in Mexico, look me up.
You have something for me? Right here.
And the gun you shot Adrian Monk with? You better give it to me.
It's the only evidence they have against us.
I'll get rid of it.
Thanks.
- So I guess this is good-bye.
Couldn't have said it better myself.
Sorry, sorry.
- Wait, wait, wait.
Careful! - Sorry.
Well, what are you It's over there.
What are you doing? Just easy, would you? Please slow down.
I'm sorry.
Sorry Mrs.
Corren.
What are you apologizing to her for? Did you get her shot too? Oh, god.
I'm sorry, I'm just you know what? Hold I'm just tired, mr.
Monk.
I was up all night building that ramp for your back door.
Well the ramp was your idea.
- I know, and I'm happy to do it.
It's just that I haven't been home in three days.
And I haven't seen my daughter.
I understand.
Why don't you take the rest of the day off? Really? - Sure.
I can make my own dinner.
I'll just eat whatever's on the bottom shelf.
You know, whatever I can reach.
Whatever's in the crisper.
Then I'll just hop around for a while, and drag myself into bed.
You go have fun.
- I'll stay.
It's up to you.
- How are you? Are you okay? I've been better.
- Not you.
How are you? I'm fine.
We're fine.
Just getting a workout with my arms.
Is it the guy? - Yes, sir.
John Kuramoto, the mystery bike thief.
Couple cemetery workers found him about an hour ago.
Pretty convenient place to catch it.
We found the shell.
32 caliber.
Probably from the same gun they used on you.
I can't believe he's dead.
What is it about that bike? We talked to the visionary project too.
They never heard of dean berry.
And they never sent anyone a bike.
To the left.
A little more slowly.
Slowly.
A little more.
That's too far.
Back to the right.
Slowly, slowly, slowly that's too much! Too much! Why don't you just turn your neck? - Because this the way I want to do it.
Keep going to the right.
Wait, wait.
Okay, wait, Right there.
It's a tire track.
- Is that from the bike? No, it's not a bike.
It was wider.
- Was it a car? I can't tell.
There's more over there.
And some over there.
It keeps changing direction.
You know? I don't know if I can maybe.
I don't is that Is that one right there? Oh, my god, Mr.
Monk are you okay? - What did you do? I didn't do anything.
- Help me up! Wait, wait.
No, wait.
I have a better idea.
As long I'm down here, would just shovel some dirt over me.
Get it over with.
Natalie, take a break.
- Are you sure? I got him.
We'll meet you back at the car.
Come here.
Come on.
There we go.
All right.
Yeah, we'll take a photograph.
Do you got a minute? Do I have a min? I'm in a wheelchair.
- Look I know that this is tough, but this is tough on Natalie too.
You see this guy here? That's the guy that shot you.
The guy in the body bag.
And you're madder at her than you are at him.
She hasn't said anything.
- Of course she hasn't said anything.
She blames herself for what happened.
She Look, I know you caught a bad break.
I'm sorry you're in pain.
Sorry you're miserable.
Sorry, sorry.
But you can't keep taking everything out on her.
Listen, detective Monk Be very careful, because you're that close from losing that girl.
Ask me how I know.
How do you know? - Because you're acting like me.
Oh, god.
Natalie, do you resent me? Don't be silly.
You were shot in the leg.
You're seriously injured.
That's what I thought.
The captain is concerned about you.
He doesn't understand our relationship.
Pothole! Pothole.
- Sorry.
Sorry.
Where to next? - Let me see.
Okay, we have to go up to the mountain view deli.
And back down to the valley pharmacy.
And then back up to the hilltop dry cleaner.
Do you think we could combine the mountain view deli and the hilltop cleaners? Just before we do the valley thing, so we're not going up, and down, and - I know.
I'm sorry.
I'm so sorry.
I can't go on.
I can't go on like this.
I can't keep on apologizing.
I'm sorry, I haven't slept in three days.
I'm going broke.
Your insurance wouldn't cover the wheelchair.
I had to rent it myself.
Just let me finish, okay? I didn't shoot you, Mr.
Monk.
You have to forgive people.
Say you forgive me.
Three little words, that's all I need.
Just three little words and it'll just release me.
- Natalie, we're braked.
You're right, I just got to pick it up.
I don't need a break.
I don't need a break.
Is that it? - Yes, sir.
"For professor Dean Berry in deepest appreciation.
" That's the bike.
And it was in the dumpster? Yes, sir.
We downloaded this unit at approximately 14:30 this afternoon.
I read about the stolen bike in the paper, and the officer that was shot over it.
I like to read the police blotter.
Is that a fact? - I think it's my civic duty.
You see, I like to think of the sanitation department as being the eyes and the ears of the city.
Captain, this is Ronnie O'dell.
He's been very helpful.
- Sounds like it.
So the bike was just sitting there on top? No sir.
It was buried.
It was on or beneath, what we like to call the "nadir," see, which is very important to us.
Because we know when this unit was last emptied.
Which means that we can pinpoint the day, and even approximate the time when the bike was discarded.
Which was? - 3:30.
Monday afternoon.
About 20 minutes after it was stolen.
The bike rack is about a 1/2 mile away.
So what, the guy steals the bike, he rides a couple of blocks, and then throws it away? Yes, sir.
- Apparently.
He didn't want the bike.
After all of this.
What the hell's going on? - We don't know, sir.
Frankly, the lieutenant and I We're stymied.
We found the basket.
Randy, get it over with.
Tell me now.
Is the basket made of gold? No, it's a basic basket.
The he've been through this whole truck, only thing we can't find Is the bell, the cable, and the lock.
Wait a second.
What do you got? Good, you found the bell.
Thank you.
You can stop ringing the bell now.
- I don't understand.
I do not understand.
It's not working.
I don't understand.
Oh, god.
Does this look green? - Sorry.
What happened? What went wrong? What is missing? These compounds are identical.
I checked them twice.
I wish I could stay and help, but I'm leaving in ten minutes.
My china trip, rember? I forgot.
The yangtze river awaits.
I'm being so selfish.
Of course.
I want you to go.
And I want you to have fun.
Don't worry about me.
Oh, my god.
You found it! Mr.
Berry, I've been waiting all week all week to say this.
Where was it? It was in some dumpster up the street.
I tried to clean it as best as I could.
You didn't need to do that.
I owe you an apology.
In fact, I owe an apology to the entire family of man.
This is just what the doctor ordered.
Good.
- Especially after today.
We had some investors here, and, the seeds didn't work.
I'm so sorry.
It's still a little dirty right there.
- That's okay.
But i, you know - God, it's in good shape.
It looks like i'm not the only one with a new set of wheels! We had a little accident.
With the other wheelchair.
She tried to kill me.
- So we upgraded.
This dang thing is stuck now.
Here.
- All right.
I can do it.
Let me do it.
I am not a Let me do it.
- All right.
Natalie, now Look what you made me do.
Mr.
Monk.
Is there a kill switch on that? Stop it! Help, help.
Stop it! God.
Oh, god.
Here you go.
- You're okay.
You're okay.
God.
Watch it, watch it.
You're hurting me.
Do something, no She's fainted down.
This goes on.
Look what you've done.
This death trap is worse than the other death trap.
Sorry, Mr.
Monk.
Are you all right? Is Mr.
Monk okay? This girl is dehydrated.
Has she not had a steady intake of fluids? I don't know.
- Has she been sleeping? I don't know.
- Does she eat? Well, I think I don't know.
Stay right here.
I'm going to get you some juice and some vitamins.
Okay, thanks.
- You're going to be fine.
Dear god.
What have I done? Wipe? I've been a fool.
I've been a Jerk.
I'm so sorry.
Here, go like this.
Go like this.
What are you doing? Those are chips.
I'm giving them all back to you.
I'm sorry.
Leland was right.
I have been taking everything out on you.
I'm sorry.
- Thank you, Mr.
Monk.
See, was that so hard? - It was pretty hard.
Here, drink this.
I want you to take three of these, twice a day.
It's my personal formula.
You're going to be fine.
- Thank you.
Mr.
Monk, we should go.
They've had a bad day.
Their super seed didn't sprout.
We'll be fine.
It's back to the drawing board.
Back To the gene splicer.
Thank you again, for the bike.
Just don't leave it unlocked.
- It was locked.
They never found the lock.
- Pardon me? The lock that came with your bike They found the basket, and the bell, but they never found the lock.
What did it look like? - The lock? It was kind of a high-tech thing, with a a keypad.
Like that one? - Yeah, as a matter of fact.
And you could set your own combination? That's right.
Eight digits.
Are you going somewhere? As a matter of fact, I am.
China.
For three weeks.
Professor berry, I can tell you why your experiment failed today, it was sabotaged.
And she did it.
You must be joking! You hired John Kuramoto to steal that bike.
But it was never really about the bike, was it? You wanted the lock.
Here's what happened Those genetically altered seeds were worth a fortune.
You could sell them to anyone.
Your friends in China, for instance.
All you need was the combination.
Your plan was simple.
You showed up with a new bike, you said it was a gift.
It was an ordinary bike, but the lock was something special.
You had designed it yourself.
It had an eight digit combination.
You knew your boss.
You knew he'd never memorize a whole new set of numbers.
If somebody else sees this combination, I have to memorize a new one, and I don't want to waste the grey cells.
She was right.
I used the same combination.
- Most people do.
It's human nature.
I use the same password for everything.
Kuramoto stole the bike, and more importantly, the lock.
That night, you went to work.
All you had to do was retrieve the new combination.
As you predicted, he had use the same numbers for both.
You replaced the genetically altered seeds with a few ordinary ones.
You knew you'd be long gone by the time anybody suspected anything.
Dean, who is this guy? I don't have to listen to this.
You can't prove any of it.
- It's true.
We'll never find those seeds now.
You had five days to hide them.
But we can prove that you killed Mr.
Kuramoto.
Are those your sandals? They're quite unusual.
They're made from recycled tires.
They're eco-friendly.
They may be eco, but they're not friendly.
I've seen those tread marks before.
In the cemetery, near Kuramoto's body.
I thought they were tire tracks.
Sarah, tell me the truth.
Did you do this? My eyes! I'm fine.
Get her! Get her, don't let her get away.
I'm fine.
Hold on! Don't move.
Just stop! Put it down.
Put it down.
Don't move, I swear to god.
I swear to god i'll shoot.
Hang on! - It's okay, Mr.
Monk.
It's all over.
I did it! For the love of god.
Wipe.
You're awake.
Yes, Mr.
Monk.
I'm right here.
Chips.
- I know, Mr.
Monk.
Chips.
- Mr.
Monk, you have all the chips.
Chips.
- Yes.
Mr Monk, I understand every chip there is.
Look, on the bright side, these two legs match.