Nurse Jackie s07e11 Episode Script

Vigilante Jones

Previously on "Nurse Jackie" Would you like to go to the ballet with me tonight? Dr.
Prince, are you okay? Oh, head rush.
There seems to be a sizeable difference between the number of physician signatures you've acquired and the number of samples you've requested.
That's impossible.
I just want to get my nursing license back.
Yeah, well, then you've got to be prepared to do anything to get it.
We're here to rule on the reinstatement of Jacqueline Peyton's nursing license.
I have serious questions about Jackie's future sobriety.
Mrs.
Akalitus's son Michael is an addict.
A young man with a string of arrests across the country.
A son who I don't know if you know this is currently wanted on suspicion of grand larceny.
I think what my lawyer's trying to say is that my supervisor cannot separate her personal life from my diversion program.
I have been nothing but fair with you.
It is time for me to get back on the fucking floor.
Our decision is final.
We are adjourned.
So, back in blues.
How does it feel? It feels great.
I feel like myself again.
I'm thinking now that you're back in the mix, I swing by the hospital later, get a few doctors' signatures for some samples, pad my numbers, and take you out to lunch.
Eddie, honey, it's my first day back.
After everything that's gone on, can we not bring the mess back into All Saints? At least not today? Sure, no problem.
I'll take my mess someplace else.
Thank you.
You want a coffee? - Yeah.
- Me, too.
- What time is it? - Showtime! - What time is it? - Showtime! - What time is it? - Showtime! 1990, Chubb Rock jumps upon the scene Whoa! Holy shit.
But "RoboCop" last year was a shock The tone of the Popeye cut shook your butt Kids are screaming, the media says "What kind of music is this for you to dance to?" The man with the plan and the man demands you No time for sleep, jump in your Jeep And pump up the funky beat a whole week Beeper goes off, yo, smash it then trash it You're too young to be plumped in a casket There ya go.
and bring the noise in, just swing it And party people, sing it Treat me right, I'll treat you good Treat me right, I'll treat you good Treat me right.
I'm sitting in your chair.
I can move.
Oh, no, that's not my chair.
I am fine over here.
How's it feel being back? Good.
Better than I remember.
Oh, hi.
Hi, Zoey.
I'm very, very sick with the flu and I will not be coming in for the rest of the week.
Okay, feel better.
Who was that? Akalitus.
She just called in sick for the rest of the week.
The whole week? What's wrong with her? She has the flu.
I mean, she sounded really healthy.
You are the flu.
I had no idea my lawyer would take it that far.
I know, but he did.
All right, I'm yeah, I'm gonna call her.
I will.
I'm just so happy to be back at work.
I love working with you.
I mean, it's complicated and I feel terrible about so many things, I'm not sure I liked anything that happened yesterday, but I love working with you.
Now, see, both of you on the job in the blues.
Oh, that's my kind of day.
Sometimes he's a little too upbeat, even for me.
Ah, is he really that happy? What's he selling? Take it easy on him, Zoey.
The guy loves life.
Nothing wrong with that.
Hey, I need 650 milligrams of Tylenol for bay three.
You got it.
Coming up.
- You okay? - Yeah, fine.
Just trying to think of the name of that headache medication.
You know, starts with an "F.
" Fuck.
That's not it.
Fioricet? Ah, yes, bingo.
Yes, Okay.
Are you in pain? It's for a patient, Jackie.
Of course.
Let me know if you need me.
If you need to get out of here, if you want to get some more rest Yeah, as long as I can do my job, I'd rather be here than getting rest.
So how does it feel to be back in the trenches? It feels so good to touch everything again.
Yeah, now you know what a four-year-old goes through at a museum.
The most exquisite torture.
Hello, my name is Jackie.
I'll be your nurse.
Can you tell me what brings you here today? Okay.
Okay, you know, we will figure this out.
Here you go.
Mm-hmm.
Welcome to Translation Assistance Services.
Uh, yes, I have a patient of Indian or Middle Eastern descent.
Can I have a translator, please? Hold on one moment.
Okay, go ahead.
Uh, hello, my name is Jackie.
I'll be your nurse.
What brings you to the hospital today? - What'd she say? - Honestly, I have no fucking idea.
You you're kidding.
It must be Indo-Iranian, some kind of dialect.
- Ah, God damn it.
- She stumped the translator phone? Okay, okay.
Um, go to the Indian restaurant up the street, the guys who helped us out last time? Yeah, and last time I bought - Do you have any cash? - Yes, in my purse.
Okay, okay.
Um, are you in any pain? Can you show me where? Uh, okay.
Thor, have you seen a suitcase out here anywhere? I have a patient in the back who This is not a suitcase.
This belongs in the Smithsonian.
Oh, yes.
Oh, sure, I always travel with piles of paper.
These are medical records.
It's incredible.
of medical records.
Chronic liver disease.
She flew in from Delhi today.
She must've come here straight from JFK.
Jesus, from the airport to the ER? You're welcome.
Yeah, it happens a lot.
People get sick, they can't get the treatment they need in their countries, so they save up.
Well, it's ascites, excess fluid in the abdomen.
That's what's causing shortness of breath.
Call OR.
They'll need to drain her stomach and analyze the fluid for infection cancer.
Well, there is a 12-hour wait for the OR today.
Motherfuckers.
All right, let's, um let's just keep her in here so she doesn't get overwhelmed.
Okay.
Uh, you need to watch where you are going.
Oh, yes, these peonies are very delicate.
No, I was talking about not running into other human people.
But I can see how keeping flowers safe is a priority for you.
Your friend will like these, no? Who? Carrie.
We are having how do you say? A a fling.
That is not how we say.
A sexual affair.
She is not having any affair, sexual, with you.
I'm sorry, I thought that you knew.
Uh, "Sex in the City.
" You girls talk with one another about the sex.
You have brunch, no? You've reached the voicemail of Gloria Akalitus.
This better be important.
Hi, Gloria, Um it's Jackie.
I heard that you were sick.
I'm calling to check on you, see See if there's anything I can say to make you make your flu go away.
I would love to talk to you in person or on the phone, if that's this is a terrible message.
I'm sorry.
Uh, okay, I got to go.
That guy just tried to climb up our building.
Oh, Jesus.
Okay.
Sir? Sir? Uh, sir? Excuse me? Well, low blood pressure, which is unusual for a superhero.
- What's your name? - Vigilante Jones.
Okay, and for your chart? No, that's my real name.
I legally changed it about five years ago from Alan Newton.
You know, one identity's a lot easier, you know, for tax purposes.
That sort of thing.
Sure.
Are those giving you trouble? No, I got these from my great aunt after she passed away.
They're amazing.
I can hear everything.
- Give 'em a try.
- No, no.
No, no, no.
Okay, Vigilante, your lower legs and knees are in danger, so if you continue to climb up tall buildings or whatever it is you do, you're gonna blow out your kneecaps.
You know, that's why I created this intricate padding system.
- Okay.
- See? Hmm.
Do you want to take off the fanny pack? It's not a fanny pack.
No, it's a utility belt.
No, I won't be taking it off.
Let's give him a cortisone shot.
One cc, it'll help with the pain in his legs until we transfer his crazy to Ortho downtown.
Uh, okay, I don't feel pain.
I do understand you have a job to do, but so do I.
There's a lot of people out there in the city that need protecting.
Yes.
We need you.
We all need you.
Okay, you will need to rest because you can't help anybody if you can't walk.
If I need to jump out of a speeding car to help somebody, I will.
I got a bunch of samosas and a guy who speaks three different Hindi dialects.
Great, hi.
Can you take over here? With pleasure.
I'm Zoey.
Vigilante.
You're a good guy? Come on, look at me.
I've saved four bikes from being stolen yesterday and I thwarted a mugging.
Uh, this might hurt a little.
See, I like a good guy.
That's where Dr.
Roman and I are different.
What are you talking about? Karlsen.
I mean, Coop, I understood.
He's got issues, but he's a good guy.
There are still good guys in New York and you have sex with the asshole who closed our hospital.
- Who told you that? - Uh, he did because he's evil.
Why are you with him? Do you need help? Because you know where evil lurks, - danger follows.
- Oh, no.
No, I got this.
- Thank you for helping us out, by the way.
- Sure.
Okay, uh, you've got to go outside.
What are you doing? You can't start a procedure like this by yourself.
I gave her a local.
I've done this a million times, Jackie, it's fine.
Listen, I know it's frustrating to wait for the OR, but you can't This woman has been in pain for years.
Why would I wait 12 hours when I could help her right now? Fuck the OR.
God damn it.
Oh, God damn it, God damn it.
- Bernie? Bernie? - Doctor? Damn it, my vision is all fucked up.
- My head is - Yes, can you get a surgeon down here now? - Paracentesis in exam room.
- God damn it! God damn it, my head is just exploding.
My head is exploding.
It's okay, it's okay.
Dr.
Prince, you need to step away from my patient.
I-I-I-I can't.
I know.
Step away from my patient now, please.
Doctor? It's okay.
You're okay.
I've never done this fucking procedure before.
Can you talk me through this, please? I just insert the needle, angle it up.
When you feel a little pop, you've entered the peritoneum.
Okay, why did why did she just jump? - Why did she just jump? - That's normal.
That's normal.
Slide the catheter over the needle.
Okay, now what? Now what? Now what? Remove the needle.
Connect the bag.
If the bag starts to fill up with blood, you've made a big mistake.
Oh, thank fucking God.
What the hell happened? We had this scheduled for tonight.
Dr.
Prince started to get a migraine.
He had to step away as soon as he finished the procedure.
This isn't a fucking sterile environment, Bernie.
- You don't do a drain down here.
- Yeah.
Her blood pressure was plummeting.
He did what he had to do.
All right, nice job.
Carrie.
No.
No flowers.
Ah, very liberated.
Did you tell Zoey about our thing? Uh, secret affair? Secret aff let me explain something to you.
Uh, it's not a secret if you just go around telling people, okay? You have a wife and I work here.
Carrie, I don't worry about people.
I saw something, I wanted something, and I got it, and now it is over.
That is why I got you these flowers.
A beautiful reminder.
Oh, yeah? Is that how it's done in Norway? This is how it's done in New York City.
Tit for tat, dicksmack.
Dr.
Prince? Yes, great work in there today, Jackie.
Yeah, can you stop for a second? I just want to Um, I think you are a wonderful doctor.
Ah.
Probably the best chief of the ER we've ever had.
But, um, I think the smart thing to do right now is to remove yourself from the floor.
I think it's time, Bernie.
You're a nurse.
You don't have the fucking authority to say this to me.
Okay, can can you keep your voice down? I would be careful about how you are addressing this.
This is only your first day back on the floor.
That patient could've died.
She didn't die, Jackie.
She didn't die.
Oh, ahem, excuse me, ma'am.
- Is this guy bugging you? - No, no, he's not.
I'm fine, thank you.
You need to get off your feet, please.
All right.
Bernie, please let me help you.
- I am in charge here, not you.
- Yes.
Hey, can I get you to sign off on a few of your Can't somebody else do that? No, they are your patients and they would like to go home.
Who wants to go home? I cannot drive anyone anywhere today.
Yeah? Dr.
Prince, I want you to sign this and discharge patients.
- Are you questioning my authority? - I don't Are you questioning my ability to do my j what?! I don't understand why you're yelling at me.
Understand this.
You're fired.
Uh, I'm pretty sure you can't fire me! What the hell was that? Who the fuck was that? Oh, Zoey, he's he's sick.
What do you mean he's sick? I mean, we have to remove him from the floor as soon as possible.
Well, that'd be great, but I don't have that kind of authority.
The only person who can do that is Akalitus and she's not here.
I know, do you have her address? Birthdays, addresses.
You know I have it all.
Okay, give me an hour, keep Prince on paperwork, throw Carrie on anything serious, okay? Also, you should bring her something.
I Eddie, what the fuck are you doing here? I'm having a fucked-up one.
I need you.
Oh, sweetie, not right now.
I've got a situation.
Dr.
Prince has lost his mind.
- I've got to go deal with this, okay? - Yeah.
Sweetie, I'm at work, baby.
I know, I know, you know what? I'm just having some shit myself.
Okay, we can talk about it tonight.
We'll talk about it later, okay? Jackie wants me to divert all of Dr.
Prince's patients to you and anything emergent that's incoming.
You know, she must really believe in me as a person and as a doctor.
I think she had no other choice.
Can you hold on just one sec? I'm on a very important call.
Okay, go ahead.
I'm sorry to tell you this, but your husband is sleeping with a beautiful American doctor.
- Thank you.
- What are you doing? Zoey, I don't just want you to kind of like me, I am a good person and I really care about this hospital and I really care about what you think of me.
So you're calling his wife? I'm calling his wife! He told you, I tell his wife.
Tit for tat.
Not really tit for tat, but Hallo? Hi, Mrs.
Karlsen.
What? I have a really good ear for languages.
I brought you soup.
I'm not sick.
Well, it's not soup.
It's actually a bunch of Diet Cokes, but I didn't want to come empty-handed.
Okay, uh, Gloria, I know you don't want to see me, but I am here to talk about Bernie.
He's got stage four glioblastoma and up until now he's been asymptomatic, but today he was showing acute signs of fatigue, headache, mood swings, disorientation.
Jesus, stage four? - That poor man.
- Yeah.
I should have told you as soon as I found out, but Anyway, I don't want him to hurt anyone, so would you, uh, take him off the floor, please? All right, I'll call HR and security will come down and escort him out and I'll make sure that they handle things very gently with him.
Great.
Okay, we're no, hold on one second, Gloria, wait.
You're seriously gonna stay home all week? I'm taking some time off.
It doesn't have anything to do with you.
Oh, come on, Gloria.
Look, I don't know how to begin to apologize for what I did.
Then don't.
I never meant for it to get ugly and personal.
That's I didn't want to hurt you.
I did and I'm sorry, but that's not what I wanted to do.
Oh, my God, is that your son? - Is that Michael? - Yes, it is.
If you hadn't gotten ugly and personal, I would've never found out his last known address.
Now he's here.
So, thank you.
And fuck you.
- You called my wife? - Oh, shh, why would I call your wife? Because you are angry that I dumped you on the ground.
Oh, you didn't dump me.
If I fly back tomorrow and find Annete waiting with the papers, you'll be sorry.
- Are you threatening me? - I am, I am threatening you.
Okay, I do want to say this in the nicest way, but get the fuck out of my face.
You heard the lady! Come on, kids, cloth bands are not gonna be able to hold me.
Sorry.
Okay, wow, those are really strong cloth bands.
I'm sorry, Thor has to restrain you.
Thor? Thor! Hey, hi, it's great to meet you at long last.
Different Thor.
Thank you for helping me.
Yeah, it's why I got into this line of work.
Your transfer should be here soon.
After the pepper spray, they're probably gonna put a psychiatric hold on you.
Yeah, it's not my first.
Let's let Vigilante rest now.
Take it easy, Vigilante.
HR is on its way.
Okay, and Dr.
Prince has been in his office the whole time.
God, he's probably really scared.
Is he dying? Oh, fuck, really? I don't know how this is gonna go.
If he gets agitated, they may need to escort him out.
Use the back entrance, not through the ER.
No one will see it happen.
Okay.
Oh, thank you.
- What are you doing here? - Hey.
I'm just talking to Bernie about Illyria.
He's gonna sign for some samples.
Aren't you, my friend? Dr.
Prince, can you look at me? Are you okay? I'm I'm not okay.
I'm I'm about as not okay as I've ever been.
Can you could you leave my office now, please? - Yes.
- Please.
Um, sure.
- Please? - Yeah, all right.
We just need a place to talk.
What the fuck was that? He's a doctor.
I need doctors' signatures.
You are taking advantage of a sick man.
First of all, I didn't know he was that sick.
Second of all, I'm sure you've done worse.
You've got to get out of my hospital.
- Your hospital? - Yes.
I'm fighting for our future here, Jackie, all right? I'm trying to fix this shit so we can move forward.
Don't you understand you are fucking everything up? It is my first day back! You know what it took to get back here! Right, and you did that all on your own? That was all you? No, Eddie, that's not what I'm saying.
- It is! It is! - It was not all me.
See, but you got what you need.
I'm gonna be deposed in a week, but you do what you have to do because you're fucking selfish - Oh! - and you're willing to run over everyone you love - to get what you want.
- Really? If I'm so fucking awful, then what the hell are you doing with me? - Right, time to cut me loose.
- Right.
I love your timing.
Right at the end of the fucking rainbow.
What are you talking about? I'm not doing anything.
You know something, honey? This is not gonna end well for me or for you.
What the fuck does that mean? Eddie? What does that mean, Eddie? - I got it! - I got it! Pull the pin at the top and then aim it at the base of the fire.
I did it.
Guys, where is Vigilante? Fuck.
Vigilante, what are you doing? You should be off your feet.
I'm not crazy.
I I can't be tied down.
I'm not going back to another hospital.
I've got things to do.
I've got a job.
Okay, but first you got to rest.
No, there are people out there that need me.
I no, hold on I understand that.
Wait, I need you.
I need you, okay? You don't need me.
You're gonna be fine.
Holy shit, wait! He flew! He just fucking flew.

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