Mad Men s07e12 Episode Script

Good morning, Mr.
Draper.
Morning.
It's Beverly, isn't it? He's on 19.
Thank you.
Good morning.
You don't have to do this every day.
I won't have you lost again.
I wasn't lost.
I was late.
I was fibbing.
Well, you can't do that.
It throws off a very busy schedule.
Not to mention everything, et cetera.
Can you call housekeeping and ask them not to make up my bed while I'm still in it? Well, you won't have to endure the hardships of The Plaza much longer.
The floors of your apartment will be done Monday.
If you pick paint, you could move in next week.
That's great.
Honey, you can just have this waiting on my desk.
Does it smell any better in here? If you like Airwick.
Fruit.
When I was packing, well, I think these were best kept from the movers.
Have you thought about new furniture? I think it looks great in here.
No, for your apartment.
You only have a bed.
I made dinner reservations in Farmington tomorrow.
You're taking Sally back to school.
Oh, thank you.
Jim Hobart's back from vacation.
No napping.
You and the computer gonna share an office over there? No, the old girl served her purpose.
McCann is Mission Control.
Statisticians, programmers, five men and 10 women just handling data.
Maybe they can keep track of your hat size.
Seems to be growing.
Why are you still here? Somebody's got to hand over the keys.
Well, I'm on 24 and you're on 26, but I'll be up there all the time.
There's an executive dining room.
You know, I once rode on a bus to camp sitting next to a guy like you.
We're not going to be bunkmates, Crane.
I'll make them build another floor if I have to.
I'm not going to let you spoil the moment.
My moment.
See you in the funny papers.
I don't know what's keeping the building representatives, but I feel perfectly comfortable-- Forging my signature? No, that's okay.
You can go.
Well, this is my last day and I wanted to thank you.
Bullshit.
They can't fire you.
Actually, I took another job.
Travelers Insurance.
My cousin works there.
- Look, I hate Caroline, too.
- No, it's-- - Did I do something? - No.
It's just I kept thinking about walking into a new office.
I'm doing it, too.
And now there's going to be one less person I know.
Mr.
Sterling, it's not you.
Advertising is not a very comfortable place for everyone.
Oh.
That in mind, I have to say thank you.
You're very amusing.
Fat lot of good it did me.
Hello, neighbor.
We're the welcome wagon.
We heard you had a window.
Aren't you sweet to come by? This is Beverly.
And who are you? - I'm Libby Blum.
- Karen Schmidt.
Can we have a minute? - We're copywriters.
- I recognized the names.
I was just going over Tampax.
We also did the pill for Ortho, and-- If it's in it, near it, or makes you think about it, we're on it.
So Topaz Pantyhose and Butler Shoes set off an alarm.
But we really love Avon.
This is incredible.
So you just came in here to get on my business.
And to say hello.
Well, I'm flattered by both.
If you want us, just ask Frank in the studio.
He'll ask Bobby in traffic, and he'll tell Carl the associate creative director.
You can put a request in however you want.
We'll let the Soviets deal with it.
You're aware that Peggy Olson handles all of those accounts? See, I told you.
Well, we'd love to share the crumbs with her.
Thank you so much for the plant.
Oh, we're going to the Oyster Bar tonight.
We have an informal ladies' club.
It's not women's lib, just a bitch session.
We are strictly consciousness lowering.
When I get settled in.
Incredible.
Did you come to get your furniture? There was a mix-up.
My office isn't ready.
Why are you still here? Well, I'm not going to McCann.
And so far I'm not going anywhere.
And I'm being paid through the end of the week, so I thought I'd make some long-distance phone calls.
Oh.
- We lost Dow.
- We still owe them work.
Could you get Mr.
Kreutzer at Sugarberry Ham for me? Why would I do that? Because Marsha's sorting things out over there and I'm not calling myself.
I'm giving you a standing ovation.
How was the Bahamas? Oh, it's everything we say it is in print.
I hope you're finding everything satisfactory.
Ferg's been an excellent tour guide.
He's just following you around because he's our resident impressionist.
Do you do an imitation of Don yet? "I'm, um, working very diligently on the, um, matter at hand.
" Well, you better not make a joke of this man.
We've lined up coffee and baloney with Nabisco, National Cash Register, and your old friend Conrad Hilton.
He bought you a gift.
That's never good.
And we just bought an entire agency in Milwaukee to get Miller Beer.
For me? When I want something, I get it.
And I've been trying to get you for 10 years.
You're my "white whale," Don.
Well, maybe you should send me to the Bahamas.
In due time.
The important thing is we're expecting you to bring things up a notch around here.
Jim, I don't know what to tell you.
I'll do my best.
And, Don, this is a shirtsleeves operation.
We want you relaxed.
And should you ever need anything in this city, dinner reservations, parking tickets Just drop our name into yours.
I will.
Oh, Miller Beer is coming in tomorrow for handshakes on their new idea-- diet beer.
For ladies? For men watching their waistlines.
Why don't we call it "Tub"? - Have you said it yet? - What? Have you introduced yourself? I'm Don Draper from McCann-Erickson.
I appreciate the call.
Mostly because it's hard for me to walk around here acting like nothing's changed.
Only some things have changed.
Avon will be serviced by the exact same personnel.
Creative handled by Ted Chaough and Peggy Olson.
Forget about personnel.
Every dollar you spend will now get you five times the audience.
And once we get you on TV Well, we already are on TV.
We know that.
What Dennis is saying is-- You know, I'm in Atlanta all the time.
How about a trip to Augusta, play a few holes? You any good? No.
No, I'm not.
Listen, my girl is telling me that it's time for our staff meeting.
Thanks again for the call.
Of course.
Such a pleasure, Barry.
Bye.
- Who's next? - I don't know what to say, except Barry is in a wheelchair.
- What? - I told you that.
And I wrote it down.
Oh, I thought that was Charlie Butler from the shoes.
No, it's not.
And it's Charles Butler.
And it's footwear.
I can't believe you.
It's an honest mistake.
You heard him say he was "walking around the office.
" It's an expression.
Which he shouldn't be able to use.
I stayed up all night preparing those briefs.
Mr.
Donnelly said you'd be on the call to help with the transition.
But you seem like you don't even care about keeping these accounts.
I'm sorry.
Who told you you got to get pissed off? All I ask is that you please read the brief before our next call.
You know what? Do it yourself.
I thought you were going to be fun.
I'm sorry to drop by.
Oh, Marsha.
That's so sweet of you.
You didn't have to come up here.
It's not your fault.
Those are actually from McCann.
An apology.
That's classy.
How do I explain this? All the SC&P girls got flowers.
It's still classy.
Well, all the new secretaries.
They thought I was a secretary? Did you tell Don what happened? - Do you want me to? - No.
Maybe I should call Joan.
That's not her job there.
- I know that, Marsha.
- I am taking care of it.
As well as your mail and memos regarding Peter Pan Peanut Butter and Tampax.
What happened to all my things? They're putting your boxes in storage.
You will have an office any minute.
In the meantime, you can work in the pool.
I am a copy supervisor.
I am not setting foot in there until I have an office.
If they want me, they can reach me here.
At home? No.
No.
I'll be at SC&P.
Hell, that's where my furniture is.
I will let them know.
Could you hold that? Good morning.
How are you, stranger? Homesick.
Well, takes some time to settle in.
I know.
You should come by for a drink.
When am I going to do that? Put me on your calendar.
We don't share any accounts.
You're too important.
Not for you.
Believe me, I'd involve you if I could.
It's been a little bumpy.
I can still interfere.
No, I'll figure it out.
Of that I am certain.
Let's make a date for lunch.
Soon.
Tell me if you like the general idea so I can take a few risks.
Where did you learn to do this? I'm an army brat, remember? New base every year.
I want to live here.
You're my decorator.
I'll pay you in cash.
Nonsense.
I love it.
Lunch in the executive boardroom with Miller Beer.
They asked if roast beef was okay.
Perfect.
Joan, it's nice to see you up here.
Are you coming to the Sears briefing? That's a good idea.
No, I was actually looking for Mr.
Donnelly.
- But if now is a bad time-- - Ferg.
Pete, it's your meeting.
You can start without me.
I'm gonna put in a request to get you involved with this.
Thank you.
That's thoughtful.
So what can I do for you? It's just-- regarding the Avon transition, I thought maybe Pete could be an asset.
Pete's a vice president.
What's wrong with Dennis? I like Dennis personally.
I'm not sure the client responded to him.
Say no more.
I'll take care of it.
Hello? Are those my boxes? I gotta go.
I gotta go.
Yeah, I signed for them, but I was wondering what happened.
Ugh, you've got to be kidding me.
You know we're the only ones here.
Have you been on the phone all morning? Stan called.
He doesn't have a phone yet.
He's on the 14th floor.
Come by and say hi.
And I prepared this for your approval.
_ - What is this? - Do you think "quagmire" should be plural? We can't do this.
They're never going to look at it.
Ed, you could easily end up working for Dow again, or Ken Cosgrove.
You could even end up working for me.
That's not very subtle.
I asked you to do one damn thing and you didn't even do it.
Fine.
I quit.
Well, thanks for everything.
When you get settled in over there, which will happen, give me a call? I promise.
I'm sorry.
It's Bob, right? Yes.
Don, good to see you.
We've got the best box lunch around.
It should have your name on it.
Is this the Miller Beer meeting? It certainly is.
Bill Phillips, Conley Research.
Don Draper and Ted Chaough.
- A pleasure.
- Shall we? Is this every creative director in the agency? It's only half of us.
So are you here to "bring us up a notch," too? So they tell me.
Good morning, gentlemen.
As you know this is Bill Phillips, Senior Director at Conley Research.
Bill, why don't you tell us a little bit about this exciting new beverage? Despite that pile of facts and figures in front of you, I don't look at this as a presentation of research.
To me, this is an opportunity to stimulate some of our industry's finest imaginations.
I'm going to describe a man to you of very specific qualities.
He lives in Wisconsin, Michigan, Ohio.
Some call it "the Heartland.
" Some call it "the Beer Belt.
" He has some college.
Makes a good living, but it doesn't feel like it because he works long hours.
He has a lawn mower.
Wants a hammock.
Bunch of power tools in the garage that he never uses.
He loves sports because he used to play 'em.
And he loves dogs because they don't talk.
We all know this man.
Because there are millions of him.
And he drinks beer.
Not just any beer.
No, it has to be his brand.
And what is his brand? The one he drank in college? The one his dad drank? The one that comes in the best bottle, can, tap? It doesn't matter because that's it and it's not open for discussion.
Now you all know that that's not true.
But how do you get him to open his mind? Better have something more.
Or in this case, less.
And that's tricky.
When we talk about a low-calorie beer, we immediately become feminine.
It's the word "calorie.
" It makes you think of a reducing plan.
A note on the fridge to remind her about her diet.
Your girl still at lunch? Beverly always takes the whole hour.
I insist.
I have a little news for you.
Oh, I hope I didn't 'cause any trouble.
Too early for you? No, of course not.
So, I spoke with Dennis.
I hope I didn't ruffle any feathers.
Well, here's how it looks.
Like some junior account man came in and started swinging her elbows.
He didn't read the brief.
And I'm not Dennis's junior.
Joan, see it from his side.
He has a wife and three children.
He's not going to work for a girl.
What's he gonna say to a client? "She's my boss"? It happens all the time now.
Peggy Olson was our copy chief.
It's different with a bunch of writers fresh out of Columbia.
And honestly, I doubt that's gonna continue here anyway.
I see.
Joan, I didn't come down here to upset you.
I agree that the best way to keep the business is to keep your status on your accounts.
Oh.
And you'll certainly get the respect you desire, now it's just you and me.
You don't have to do that, but I accept.
Mm, good.
Now, first thing we have to do is pay this guy a visit.
- Who? - Barry from Avon.
We owe him an apology.
And let's face it, it would be good to get out of town, even if it's to Atlanta.
I appreciate that, but I don't want to put you out.
Look, I know a good job when I see one.
No, it's just that might be too much.
He'll be in New York soon and Avon corporate is blocks away.
Hey, I'm easy.
I'm not expecting anything more than a good time.
Excuse me? I mean, I want to get to know you, of course.
Of course.
Good.
For my first act of benevolence, you can call Charles Butler on your own.
We'll take him to lunch next week.
Thank you.
From now on, no one comes between me and your business.
I appreciate that.
We can't lose those accounts.
What would you do around here? Loretta.
Here she is.
- Sally left? - Yes.
She got a ride with her friend.
And no one thought to call me, I guess.
Do you want something to drink? - No.
- They left after lunch.
I told her to call your office.
Your secretary is a moron.
I was out of the office.
I wanted to get the car washed.
She comes and goes as she pleases.
We can't get mad at her for being independent.
It's normal.
That what Freud says? So far I haven't come across anyone normal.
You okay? I carried $100 worth of textbooks yesterday during registration.
Maybe you're getting old.
- I'm younger than you.
- Mm-hmm.
Always have been, always will be.
Maybe you could find some nice freshman to carry your books.
That's fine.
When do the boys get home? Gene's at Cub Scouts and Bobby's got baseball.
They won't be back until 6:30.
I'll let you get back to your studies.
I've always wanted to do this.
Knock 'em dead, Birdie.
Bye.
Shit.
Your stomach is grumbling.
You never let me eat.
I can make fried chicken.
I don't mind playing house, but as long as your mother and Kevin are away, why don't you call in sick? Let me take you to Bermuda.
No.
Cape Cod? I don't want to go anywhere I don't want to go.
Don't make plans for me.
All right.
All right.
I have a lot of work.
Look, I know I told you not to complain, but that doesn't mean I don't want to hear about it.
But you really don't.
What happened? It's a big place and I asked the wrong person for help.
And I don't think I can get out of it.
Well, if you don't like that job, you don't have to do it.
You got enough and you got me.
They still owe me over half a million dollars.
I'm not walking away from that.
So this is a business problem.
Now I can help.
You're already helping.
There's two ways I deal with disagreeable people.
One, you can call a lawyer, throw a bunch of paper at them, tie them up in court, cost them some money.
Nobody wins, but it loosens the earth.
What's the second? You can call a guy.
"A guy"? I'm a developer.
Men get stubborn.
What does "a guy" do? You get the right guy, all they have to do is show up.
You've really done that? You seem to like it, so I'm gonna say yes.
You're disturbed.
Doesn't seem like such a big problem now, does it? I don't want to say goodbye for the summer Beautiful night out there tonight.
In downtown Cleveland we have a high of 75, low of 62.
Not too sticky and it should stay that way through the weekend.
I don't know about you, but I am not ready to say goodbye to the summer.
But not true of the folks at Higbee's Department Store where they're ready to provide all the back-to-school fashions.
I'm really tired, aren't I? You've been driving for seven hours in the wrong direction, you know.
Where are you going? Racine, Wisconsin.
Ever been there? No.
What's in Racine? Maybe some waitress who doesn't care about you? You shouldn't do that.
That's not gonna stop me.
You like to play "the stranger.
" Remember "On the Road"? I've never read that book, you know that.
I'm riding the rails.
"Whither goest thou, America, in thy shiny car in the night?" Yes, it's gonna be a cold lonely summer but I'll fill the emptiness - Hello? - Peggy? - Yes.
Who is this? - It's Marsha.
I thought I would try this before I ran over.
- Your phone's dead.
- What do you want? Well, on behalf of McCann-Erickson, I want to welcome you to your new office.
When can you come over? Well, I guess right now.
Wonderful.
Can you work at a drafting table until they bring your things over tomorrow? Yes.
Thank you.
Hello? Is someone there? - Roger.
- Oh, Christ! I have a heart condition, you know.
Believe it or not, I'm not scary.
Organ music is scary.
What are you doing here? I told Caroline I wanted to pack my personal things, which I will eventually do as soon as I figure out why she thought my bar wasn't personal.
Did you try Don's office? All I found was lighter fluid.
I'm not there yet.
Mine's gone.
I don't want to go to a bar.
I did that yesterday.
Listen, sweetheart, if you don't mind I'm not running an errand.
I have to go to McCann.
Three days ago.
They screwed up my office-- It doesn't matter.
They're finally ready.
I'd do it for you.
Would you drink vermouth? Yes, I'm afraid I would.
_ I'll be along in a minute.
Oh, Mr.
Hobart.
Can I help you? You're sitting in his chair.
You're obviously not expecting him.
I told Daphne I don't know when he'll be in.
Can I take a message? Sure.
Tell him he missed Nabisco and National Cash Register just left, so he might as well take the rest of the day off.
Thank you.
I'll let him know.
Is he on a bender, sweetheart? I haven't heard from him, but he went to take his daughter to school.
I'm not concerned.
Look at this.
"Christmas Day, 1951.
" - Who's Roberta? - I don't know.
Oh.
Roberta.
Hmm.
We had our drink.
You clearly don't need help.
You need an audience.
McCann made you wait.
You can make them wait.
I'm not enjoying this.
Oh, my God.
What is this? It's an octopus pleasuring a lady.
It was Cooper's.
It was in his office forever.
You can have it.
You can put it in your office.
No.
They won't take me seriously.
That's pretty serious.
It's 150 years old.
You know I need to make men feel at ease.
Who told you that? So now I gave you something, you can sit tight and keep me company.
You think you're gonna have fun like this over there? This is more attention than I've ever gotten from you.
You should see the floor I'm on.
It's a nursing home.
What the hell happened? You're acting like you had nothing to do with this.
I'll have you know, I held this place together.
I know you think that, but you actually sold it.
You were supposed to watch out for us.
This business doesn't have feelings.
You get bought, you get sold, you get fired.
If the account moves, you move.
Even if your name's on the damn door, you should know better than to get attached to some walls.
Well, hopefully I'll have that problem someday.
Okay, hot stuff.
It's exciting.
I mean, I know it's going to be challenging, but I needed that.
So do you.
In the summer of '44, it was over 100 degrees every day in the Pacific.
So we dropped anchor in the Ulithi Lagoon to go for a swim.
And you can imagine the men-- it was bedlam.
But I couldn't do it.
Can't you swim? Did I mention I was in the navy? No, the real problem was it was a two-story drop off our cruiser.
We all have regrets.
No, I did it.
I just needed a push.
This was a hell of a boat, you know? Come on.
It just looks good now, but it was miserable when you were in it.
Trust me.
Is that really how you're gonna remember this place? No.
Good.
This is the one for the road, okay? You gonna show up drunk at 4:00 on your first day? You know any Freemasons? Yes? Can I help you? I'm looking for Mrs.
Baur.
I'm Mrs.
Baur.
Good evening.
I hope I'm not disturbing your dinner.
Not yet.
My husband will be home any minute.
Well, I really just need to talk to you.
I'm Bill Phillips from Conley Research.
We represent an array of American companies including Miller Beer.
And out of over 900 entries, you, Diana Baur, were chosen to win a brand-new Westinghouse refrigerator full of Miller Beer.
Oh.
Now, you have your choice, white or harvest gold.
That's the fridge, not the beer, of course.
Well, that sounds wonderful, but I'm not Diana, I'm Laura.
Can I still accept it? I don't know.
I'm supposed to speak to Diana.
Is your mother home? You really should speak to my husband.
She's his ex-wife.
I guess if he knows where she is, I could come back.
Or wait in the car.
My neighbors have seen you on the porch long enough.
Come on inside.
Have a seat.
Would you like some iced tea? - I don't want to be a bother.
- It's no bother.
I have to check on the chicken.
Are you looking for my mother? Diana is your mother? If she won something, I should get it.
Yes, that makes sense.
Sorry to keep you waiting.
It was no problem at all.
I hope you're finding everything satisfactory.
Well, I'm here because I need your help.
I'm at your disposal.
I don't know how to put this, but I don't feel that my accounts are getting the right kind of attention.
Our accounts.
Well, that's just it.
I fully expect to service clients with the help of your personnel.
But as a partner at SC&P, I had a certain amount of status.
You know, more independence.
What's the problem? You can speak freely.
Well, I don't think that Ferg Donnelly is a good match.
Ferg's very important around here.
Frankly, you're lucky he's taken an interest in your business.
I understand that, but it's not necessary.
I don't mean to brag, but I've been handling this account on my own since I brought it in.
I'm sure that's true.
But you're gonna have to get used to doing things the way we do them.
Well, I don't know how to say this, but I can't work with him.
Joan, it may not have sunk in, but your status has changed.
Avon, Butler Footwear, Topaz Pantyhose-- I guess you don't need those accounts.
I've tried to be patient, but I don't care about your SC&P partnership.
I don't know if somebody left it to you in their will, but your little stake doesn't mean anything here.
Is that what you want? Because I'm perfectly happy to take my half a million dollars and be on my way.
I'll bet people always say you're the kind of gal who doesn't take no for an answer.
But no, you're not telling me how to run my business.
Now find a way to get along or you can expect a letter from our lawyer.
I wonder how many women around here would like to speak to a lawyer.
I think the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission has one.
Women love it here.
You want to threaten us? You'll be all alone.
No.
I think the second I file a complaint, I'll have the ACLU in my office and Betty Friedan in the lobby with half the women who marched down Fifth Avenue.
I guess you didn't see the headlines about what happened at "Ladies' Home Journal.
" Or "Newsweek.
" Do you have any idea how much space McCann buys in "The New York Times" every year? We could get them to print "Mein Kampf" on the front page.
Yes, I'm sure I'll find it difficult to find a reporter who wants to embarrass you this deeply.
Look, you're unhappy.
And now I'm unhappy.
So how about this-- I'm willing to give you to never see your face again.
I guess I wasn't clear.
I'm not negotiating.
Then you should get out of my office immediately.
Go ahead.
I'd rather give it to a lawyer.
So you get to drive all over America giving people prizes? That sounds like fun.
Well, I also give a lot of boring presentations.
- Hello.
- Hello, honey.
This is Bill Phillips.
He says Diana won some kind of prize.
A refrigerator full of Miller Beer.
Really? Well, there's been some confusion because a Mrs.
Diana Baur entered our contest and, well, she's nowhere to be found.
Diana never entered any contest.
Well, I guess it's a mistake.
Yeah, letting you in our house.
And my wife, she doesn't know any better, - but I guess you knew that.
- Cliff, please.
Let him answer.
Who the heck are you? Or do I have to call the police? You're right.
I'm deeply sorry for the ruse, ma'am.
But I work for a collection agency.
Clearly you're not responsible for Mrs.
Baur anymore, but I need to know her whereabouts.
Last I heard, she was in New York.
- Do you have an address? - No.
That's all I got.
I apologize for the intrusion.
Guess we're not as dumb as you think we are.
- I'm leaving.
- The clothes, the shoes, the Caddy? - You're no collection agent.
- I am.
You think you're the first one that came looking for her? She's a tornado just leaving a trail of broken bodies behind her.
I didn't mean to disturb you.
Yeah, but you did.
I am just starting to get back on my feet.
Just starting to get back to even part of the way to where I was.
Look, I'm sorry.
I was worried about her.
She seemed so lost.
Well, I lost my daughter to God and my wife to the devil.
I lost everything.
That what you wanted to know? No.
You can't save her.
Only Jesus can.
He'll help you, too.
Ask Him.
- Look, I-- - And don't come back.
Come on, once more from the top.
Where the hell have you been? I had a lot of stuff to move.
Are any of you planning to work here, or is this the con of the century? Look, calm down.
We're all just settling in.
Calm down? Where the hell is Don? He walked out of a meeting Wednesday and hasn't come back.
He does that.
Well, you may have sold me a rotten apple, but it's not too late to let the ax fly.
Starting with that redhead.
Joan? I don't want to hear her name again.
Good morning.
You made it.
You just come to work like nothing happened? I'm here and I'm doing my job.
Get the door.
Jim Hobart's not afraid of you.
Then why'd he send you? To tell you I can't help you.
Well, thank you very much.
Listen to me.
You're not going to do better than 50 cents on the dollar.
It's not about the money.
It's only about the money.
Don't hide behind politics.
Take the money and be done with them.
Take half my money? I know it's all my fault and I'm trying to take care of it.
You've started something that could leave you with nothing.
It's plenty.
I made sure he's good for it.
Tell him he has a deal.
- Where you headed? - St.
Paul.
I can go that way.
Great.
I don't want to take you out of your way, man.
It's not a problem.
This is Ground Control to Major Tom You've really made the grade And the papers want to know whose shirts you wear Now it's time to leave the capsule if you dare This is Major Tom to Ground Control I'm stepping through the door and I'm floating in a most peculiar way And the stars look very different today For here am I sitting in a tin can far