Mom s07e12 Episode Script

What maniac brought vegetables without ranch? I don't want to know what celery actually tastes like.
It was me.
I swear, I hadn't eaten something green in a month.
Ever since I started dating Andy, all I eat is meat, meat, meat and banana pudding.
But your man cooks for you.
That's my dream.
That and a pickup truck with a tailgate that turns into a ladder.
It is nice, but he brought over a ton of cookbooks and rubs and sauces.
He's got my kitchen looking like a kitchen.
Hey, you're a builder person.
Can you build me a shelf to make that stuff go away? In my sleep.
Well, how much do you charge? Stop.
I'll do it for free.
No, no.
You got to know your value.
How else are you gonna get that pickup if you work for free? Well, I do want that truck.
Let's see, one shelf: $42,000.
- Fine.
75 bucks.
- Deal.
Hello, everyone.
What's new? (laughs) You went to my bra lady.
Oh, she is not a bra lady, she's a boob architect.
I mean, I got lifted, separated and groped, but in a good way.
I had no idea I was wearing the wrong size this whole time.
Oh, I did.
Merry Christmas.
I keep catching them in my peripheral vision.
I'm just sitting there and it's like "Ooh! Hello, ladies.
" (phone chimes) - Oh, my God.
- WENDY: What? I just got a text from my son.
Are you serious? He hasn't spoken to me in years.
Well, what'd it say? Just to call him when I get a chance.
Well, you got a chance.
Do it.
No.
No, I'm not ready.
I need a meeting first.
Wendy, let's get started.
Welcome to the Thursday women's meeting.
My name is Wendy and I'm an alcoholic.
Eh, screw it, I can't wait.
Hi, Wendy.
Marjorie's still on the phone? I can barely see.
Looks like somebody cleaned this window with ham.
I think her lips are moving.
Oh, that doesn't mean anything.
She talks to herself all the time at home.
What are you guys looking at? Oh.
I don't know.
So who have we been spying on? Oh, my God, it's Dwayne the custodian.
(laughs) Well, that's on him.
He shouldn't wear his hair like that.
So, what happened? Call me Grandma.
(cheering) Congratulations.
Oh That's great.
It was so wonderful to hear his voice.
Aw.
He told me I have a granddaughter named Sophia and he wants me to meet her.
That's great, Marjorie.
I am so happy Whoa! Oh.
Sorry, my boobs scared me again.
Whew.
How much further? 1.
7 miles.
Uh, make that 1.
6 miles.
Ooh, T.
J.
Maxx coming up on the left.
1.
5.
Okay, Siri, settle down.
Thanks again for driving.
I felt fine this morning, but then I fed the cats granola and poured myself a bowl of Meow Mix and I thought, "Maybe don't drive.
" You'll be great.
1.
2.
I can't believe this is happening.
1.
1.
You know the best part? Jerry wanted nothing to do with you, but you sent birthday cards every year.
You didn't get anything back, but you didn't give up.
And now look.
I thought you were crazy.
I might have said so when you weren't around.
You said it to my face.
Did I? (chuckles) That's what I like about me.
And what the rest of us hope you work on.
What am I supposed to say to him after all this time? When he was little, my goal was just to stay sober until he got on the school bus, and most days, I couldn't make it.
Well, I blame vodka for being so damn delicious with orange juice.
Or with any juice.
Or with nothing.
0.
3.
Finally, my husband told me I had to stop drinking or move out.
So - You moved out.
- That day.
I chose booze over my own son.
But you're an incredible woman now and he's gonna see it.
AUTOMATED VOICE: You have arrived at your destination.
Oh, sure, I do all the work and you bring us home.
Text us if you need us.
We're gonna go get our nails done.
And maybe hit that T.
J.
Maxx.
(exhales) I am so nervous.
Relax.
There's a baby there.
They're great icebreakers.
Yeah.
Any time you're at a loss for words, you just say, "Look at the baby.
" Maybe don't do a voice that sounds like you're gonna eat the baby.
Would you look at all these stupid cookbooks? Grill Master, Grill Monster, All Up in My Grill.
I guess I should be happy he's reading.
Although this one's mostly pictures.
How high do you want this? Where I can't see it and Andy can.
Well, how tall is he? Mm Little bit taller than you.
Oh, Belinda, did you vacuum the carpet in the master bedroom today? I did it first thing.
Did you, though? 'Cause it's not as fluffed up as it should be.
I'll give it another go.
And this time, I'll really put my back into it.
Thank you, thank you.
All righty, I'm gonna go get a massage, take a steam and then relax for a little while.
That's a pretty busy day.
Leave time for a nap.
I always do.
- What would you like for lunch? - Oh, I'll be done way before then.
Have you worked for Miss Jill before? - No.
- I'll make you tuna.
Got to say, I'm surprised you said yes to the paraffin.
I didn't know what it was.
I thought she was offering me a snack.
Well, whatever's happening inside this mitt feels soft and warm.
And kind of sexy.
Man, I need a boyfriend.
That is the word on the street.
Maybe this bra is gonna change my whole dating life.
You've been wearing it for a couple of days.
Gotten any feelers? Just me for right now.
But you know what? It ain't bad.
(phone chimes) (grunts) - It's Marjorie.
- So soon? Hang on.
She says, "Come get me ASAP.
" - That's not good.
- I know, we got to go right after we're done here.
No T.
J.
Maxx.
Mom, we got to go now.
What? She said, "as soon as possible.
" The only thing that's possible right now is me taking a chicken out of the oven.
11:22.
Told you I'd be out of here by lunch.
Well done.
(sighs) Well, I took my steam, but there was no eucalyptus spray, and I'm not gonna point any fingers, but Natalie? - I'll take care of it.
- Thank you, thank you.
I finished your shelf.
What do you think? Oh.
Okay.
- Don't you like it? - No, I like it.
- But? - It's just not what I pictured.
- Well, what did you picture? - I don't know.
I mean, I-I guess I sort of saw the shelf with sides and a top and maybe some doors.
So a cabinet.
A cabinet, yes.
That's the kind of shelf I want.
All right.
Well, I need to get more supplies, but okay.
(chuckles) - Oh.
You're the best.
- Ah Thank you, thank you.
Would you like your tuna sandwich toasted or not toasted? Toasted.
Oh, God, she's sitting on the curb.
Looks like a depressed garden gnome.
- Are you okay? - No.
What happened? I thought it was going well.
And then I said the baby looked cold and maybe she needed a blanket.
Then all of a sudden my son starts screaming at me that I have no right to tell him how to parent.
That's crazy.
You didn't mean anything by it.
You know what? I'm gonna go in and say something.
No.
Stay out of it.
But it's not fair.
Please just take me home.
So? What do you think? Hmm.
So I build her a cabinet, which everyone knows is different than a shelf, and she says it's "too closed-off.
" So we try glass doors that she picked out, and then guess what? She says it's "too see-through.
" Why are you smiling? No one ever vents to me.
Oh, good.
She came.
Mm.
Hope she's doing better today.
You know, Bonnie, they paint lines in the parking lot for a reason.
Nope.
I'm sorry, I'll park better in the future.
Damn, this is terrible.
It's always terrible.
Do you want to vent to me? It's a thing now.
We have time for one more share.
(imitates Marjorie): I'll go.
Marjorie? (sighs) Fine.
- Marjorie, alcoholic.
- ALL: Hi, Marjorie.
I know that I've been sober for a long time and I sponsor women and I try to do all the right things, but in my son's eyes, I'll-I'll always be the mom he saw passed out on the sidewalk on his way to school.
And I had accepted that he and I might never have a relationship.
But then I saw him.
And I met my beautiful new granddaughter.
And now I wish he'd never reached out to me at all.
If her son knew her the way we do, he'd be excited to have her in his life.
He'd be lucky to have her in his life.
He needs to know how incredible she is.
Someone needs to tell him.
(tires screeching) - Ooh, are we telling him? - Hell yeah, we are.
I was literally about to say we should go there and meddle.
We're so in sync.
Were you also thinking we should stop - at the drive-through and get - Crunchwrap gorditas? I was gonna say salads.
Okay, but same page about the son.
What the hell was that? - A high five.
- How about an "up top" first? I followed your suggestions, made it "more streamlined," got rid of the "silly frills.
" I hope you like it.
(gasps) Oh, Tammy! It's perfect! Ah Belinda, Natalie, did you see it? - Beautiful.
- Yes.
Oh, I'm so happy.
Job well done.
And here you go.
$75, just like we agreed.
Yeah, just like we agreed.
(clears throat) Belinda, put all of Andy's grill stuff up on my new shelf when you're done vacuuming my bedroom.
I already vacuumed it twice.
Perhaps the third time will be the charm.
Thank you, thank you.
That's the same shelf you started with, isn't it? Yep, but now it's her idea.
You caught on fast.
You know, it's funny, I've never seen this side of Jill.
Is there another side? How could she not get that with all the extra time and materials, she should pay me more money? It's Jill math.
She pays us to work till 5:00, but keeps us till 6:30.
And she hasn't given us a raise in three years.
But she does give us lots of "thank you, thank yous.
" I tried to buy groceries with them, but it didn't work.
- That's not right.
- Uh-huh.
No, I'm serious.
It's not right.
- We agree.
- I mean, it's wrong! (chuckles) Remember when we were like that? I'd stay and reminisce, but I have to go and vacuum a clean carpet.
Thanks for seeing us.
We know this is a little weird.
That's fine.
I just want everyone to get along.
JERRY: Babe, who's at the door? Uh, this is, uh, Bonnie and Christy.
Friends of your mother's.
- Oh.
- Hi.
You and I actually met.
It was a few years ago, when your mom had cancer.
Right.
You stuck your nose in then.
I'm assuming you're here to stick it in again now? Look at the baby! I have nothing to say about that woman.
It was a mistake to reach out.
It wasn't even my idea.
It was mine.
I thought it would be nice for Sophia to have a grandmother who might like to babysit every once in a while.
I'm so frickin' tired.
Marjorie would love to babysit.
Well, that's too bad.
She's made her choices and I've made mine.
I know this is difficult to believe, but the person you're angry at doesn't exist anymore.
And if you gave her another chance, you'd see that.
Yeah, she is a remarkable woman.
She has done so much good for so many people.
Great.
She can help total strangers but not her own son.
Okay, buddy, you're not ten years old anymore.
Your mother screwed up a long time ago.
You need to let her off the hook already.
I mean, this one put me through the wringer forever, but she came around, and now we're good.
I wasn't putting her through the wringer, I was taking care of myself.
Exactly.
And-and that's what I'm doing.
But the point is, my daughter forgave me.
But that took time.
And you need to do what's best for you.
What are you doing? Well, I just, I have been in his position, so I can empathize.
When you've had a traumatizing childhood, it's hard to just let that go.
- It's really hard.
- But it's possible.
That's what we're here to tell him, that it's possible.
(chuckles) Of course it is.
We're good now.
And that's because I took the space I needed.
He's had 28 years of space.
And for the record, I don't think much healing went on when you shut me out of your life.
- But we are good now.
- So good.
And I think the reason we're so good now is that we deal with each other instead of letting our resentments fester and bubble up at inappropriate times.
You can't schedule feelings, Mom.
They just get here when they get here! But you can choose to keep them to yourself! Sorry, she's just so activating.
I'm heading out.
Okay.
Thank you, thank you.
Look, I need to tell you something, because if I don't, it'll build up and pretty soon when I do my birthday thing at Benihana, you won't be invited and you'll be devastated 'cause you won't know why.
That was a lot to follow.
Are you mad at me? You and I agreed on $75 for one shelf.
- And I love it.
- Yeah, but in order to get to that shelf, you made me build two other shelves.
And a series of cabinets.
- So ? - So I want more money.
Oh.
I spent more than that on materials alone, not to mention my time.
So I think $250 sounds fair.
Let me get my checkbook.
- Thanks.
- (chuckles) You're welcome.
- You get why I'd asked, right? - Mm-hmm.
Because it seems like you're writing me the check to shut me up.
(chuckles) Isn't that what checks are for? No, they're for paying people who work very hard for you.
I heard you, I heard you.
Calm down.
No, because it's not just about me.
You-you know, you haven't given your housekeepers a raise in three years? - Of course I have.
- Nope.
Not in three years.
Well, how would you even know that? Because for the last few days, I've been in the kitchen of Downton Abbey.
I love that show.
Now that's a staff.
Belinda and Natalie are fantastic.
And I say thank you all the time.
Well, maybe you should start doing it with money.
I mean, aren't you the one that says you need to pay people their value? - Yes.
- So why aren't you? I don't know.
It just never occurred to me.
(laughs softly) Oh, my God, I am an awful person.
No, no, you're a terrific person, it's just a little bit of a blind spot for you.
And when I say "little bit," I mean huge.
And when I say "blind spot," I mean gigantic character flaw.
I mean, this is so humiliating.
I don't think I can even face them now.
I mean, should I just get rid of them and get new ones? No.
No.
Look at me.
No.
Oh.
I was gonna watch a movie.
Fine, I'll study in my room.
Oh, I don't want to inconvenience you.
You're not.
Thank you.
(sighs) What does that mean? It's called breathing.
Is that okay or is it too "activating" for you? (knocking on door) Keep breathing, I'll get it.
I just got off the phone with my son.
It was Christy's idea.
You're the one who turned the car around.
I came to say thank you.
It was my idea.
Jerry decided that he wants his daughter to - have a relationship with her grandma.
- Oh That's amazing.
What about, what about you and Jerry? H-He said we're a work in progress.
I don't know what you said to him, but I'm so grateful.
To be honest, it was really more Christy than me.
(scoffs) That's not true.
You're the one who turned the car around.
Yeah, but you did that whole thing where you empathized with him.
I think that made the difference.
I don't know.
That tough love stuff you were dishing out was pretty compelling.
And that festering resentment part? (scoffs) It was a home run.
Was it? I was afraid it was too much.
In the moment, I was concerned Yeah.
But it turns out, you're a genius.
Wow.
You two are so good now.
BOTH: We know.
- Hey, we did it.
- Ah! What? Here you go.
Oh, you didn't have to make me lunch.
Oh, no, no, no.
I have to learn how to do things for myself.
Settle down.
You just sent your housekeepers on vacation.
You're not Helen Keller.
That's right.
Because I'm a good person who also makes a good tuna sandwich.
How about you're a great person who makes a sandwich? Would you mind getting me a refill of my iced tea? Oh, sure.
Thank you, thank you.