Parks and Recreation s07e12 Episode Script

Which brings us to 2005.
The Circle Park renovation was complete, and a young man named Thomas Haverford was still two years away from getting hired.
Perhaps we could skip ahead, and just hit the highlights? I mean, I planned a comprehensive retrospective, but I guess I can just focus on the really important moments.
Ah! The debate about getting a pod-based coffee machine.
Garry and I wrote a little musical number about that.
And it goes a little something like this.
Why can't we just quickly shake hands, pretend we liked each other, and get out of here? I'm all for that.
No, April, Ron, we need to celebrate everything that we've done together as a group.
This is our last day here.
Who knows when we'll all be together like this again? Excuse me.
Hi.
There's a swing in a park near my house that's been broken for about three months.
Is it possible to get that fixed? "Anything is possible, if you follow your dreams.
" Johnny Karate.
Except getting a swing fixed.
None of us actually work here anymore.
Come back in two hours when the office is open.
- Thank you.
- Wait.
Actually, sir, we can help.
We can, and we will.
Because when we used to work here, helping people was our job.
Forget about these old stories.
Let's make a new one.
Let's fix the swing.
One last ride for the Parks and Rec gang.
Who's in? Yeah! The vote was four to three Donna said to get rid of me But Ron was suspicious Because my coffee was delicious Come on, Garry.
You're the mayor now.
Have some dignity.
Okay.
So, what is our first step on our quest to help this man? Does anyone remember? A Parks and Recreation equipment requisition form.
Correct! Five points for Hufflepuff.
Well, everything is paperless now.
And none of us has a login.
So we can't access the computers.
Hang on.
I have one right here.
Thanks to Leslie's scrapbook, "Thanks Form the Memories".
I knew those scrapbooks were going to come in handy.
You came through like you always do.
God, I'm going to miss you.
Your confidence, your joie de vivre.
That crazy story about you getting kicked out of En Vogue.
Technically, I kicked them out.
When do you leave for Seattle? Soon as I get my local real estate license.
I'm married to a teacher, and I love the man, but I also love diamond watches.
Well, whatever happens, I know that you are going to live an exciting and full life.
Thirty-four hundred square feet, a beautiful view of Puget Sound, and if you look out this window, you can watch them build the new Space Haystack around the Space Needle.
Wow.
I can hardly see the needle anymore.
I know, that's kind of the point.
So, what are we thinking? Wow.
It sold in two hours? You cannot beat the Seattle real estate market.
I think it's all that coffee and legal marijuana, has people wanting to buy houses quickly and irrationally.
Mmm.
But the giant commission check has me thinking about Mmm-hmm? Donna-Joe Adventure Quest.
Ooh! Where are we going? Well, it can't beat last year.
I mean, Middle Korea is so beautiful.
Here's my idea.
The Amazon.
Oh! Three weeks of the best and most expensive places South America has to offer.
I love it.
Honestly, with the way work is going, I just need this right now.
The school cut the math club.
And math.
They just don't teach math anymore.
Oh.
My poor little do-gooder teacher baby.
Why don't we cuddle up on the couch, watch a movie, and then maybe later, I'll wear that little red thing? Yes, the red thing.
Here, let me get this.
Call Satan's Niece.
Hey, what do you want? And this is me DJing a boat party in Venezuela.
Kind of reminded me of the two weeks you and I spent there.
Oh, yeah.
That happened.
Yeah, it did.
April! What are you doing here? Babe, have a seat.
What's going on? Recently, I was thinking, for the millionth time, how lucky I am to have found you.
So, I've decided to treat yo' self.
You're going to buy me a bunch of leather handbags? Donna is going to take some of the money you usually use on your trips and establish an education program through the foundation I work for.
It's called Teach Yo' Self.
And you and the other teachers will get money for after-school programs.
For music, art, math, whatever you want.
Baby, this is really generous.
But I love our trips.
And honestly, it's your money.
You should spend it how you want.
This is what I want.
I've had a lot of adventures.
I single-handedly started that doorknockers earring trend.
I came in ninth in Italy's Got Talent.
Yeah.
I served on a NASCAR pit crew.
I want a new kind of adventure, and I want to take it with you.
Okay, I feel like it's time for me to get out of here.
What is this mess? Why are you all in my office? We are on one last mission to help the people of Pawnee.
Craig, can you sign the requisition form? It will speed things up.
You know, Craig, when I first met you, I thought, "There is a man who loves his job.
" And then I thought, "Oh, wow, he's intense.
" And then I thought, "Oh, no, he's insane.
"That person is psychotic, and I need to call the police.
" Yeah, that's usually the way it goes.
But I just think you've come so far.
And I'm so glad that we are leaving the Parks Department in your hands.
Funny though it's true Those silly things you do They only bring me Closer to you Nice crooning, buddy.
The gentleman over by the bar there sent you over this glass of wine, and his business card.
Okay.
So, as you all know Okay, fine.
We are gathered here today to join Craig Middlebrooks and Typhoon Montalban in holy matrimony.
I don't know about this.
I'm very scared.
Oh, just relax, you nervous nelly.
You're right.
We love each other, and the tax break is substantial.
Will the best man please present the rings? Good luck, you two.
Typhoon, my love, happy anniversary.
Do you have any regrets? Not one.
Not a single one.
Do you have any regrets? Are you kidding? Thousands! Most recently, this trout! Okay! April and Andy, I need to file this.
Would anyone like to accompany me to the fourth floor? One last journey to the weirdest place on earth? Yes.
Shotgun! We're just taking the elevator.
I get to push buttons.
I called it.
Okay.
He called it.
Yeah, I know.
I heard.
Ethel Beavers.
We need this filed, please.
We've gone digital.
Get with the times, you Luddite.
Man.
Of all the places in Pawnee, I'm going to miss the fourth floor the most.
The disturbing murals, the ominous lighting, the creepy people.
Hi, April.
I'm going to miss the food in Pawnee.
Taco Bell, KFC, Pizza Hut.
But most of all, I'm going to miss you, Leslie.
Oh, Andy, all of those things, including me, will still be with you in Washington.
That is a beautiful sentiment.
I just want to say that we are about to embark on an amazing adventure.
And whatever happens, just know that Ben and I are always there for you.
Mmm.
Agent Macklin, I need you.
Some thieves are trying to steal the legendary Snakehole Sapphire.
What the No! That sapphire has the power to activate the Cuban Missile Crisis.
Damn it, Macklin, I love it when you take charge.
Make love to me, you fool! You animal! Okay.
Raincheck that, all right? They're here.
Trick or treat! Oh, look at them! Here you go, you little monsters! I love this.
You guys are the best.
My love, we have to go.
Just put all the candy in a bowl or something.
What's wrong? Did you eat all the candy? No! Did you? Yes, but that's not what's wrong.
It's just Seeing all those kids out there Babe.
I want to put a babe in you, babe.
Andy, you know where I stand on this.
Yes, I would love all the awesome stuff my body would go through.
I mean, if all it meant was puking and getting weird stretch marks and veins everywhere, then sign me up.
But at the end, we've brought a child into the world? That's disgusting.
No.
They wipe all of the disgusting stuff off of it immediately.
We're going to be late for dinner.
Okay.
Let's go.
- Hey! - Come on in.
Hey! Always nice to see Janet Snakehole and Burt Macklin in the mix.
What are you guys dressed as? Oh, I'm Sandra Dee O'Connor.
Get it? Sandra Dee plus Sandra Day O'Connor? Who's Sandra Dee? Who's Sandra Day O'Connor? Forget it.
And I am the Lamplighter, a character from my new board game sequel, Cones of Dunshire, Winds of Tremorrah.
Gameplay Magazine called it "punishingly intricate.
" Hey, where are the kids at? I want to say hi and wrestle all three of them at once.
Oh, they're trick-or-treating in Georgetown with some friends.
It's just us grown-ups tonight.
No kids at all.
Hey, Andy, why don't you give me a hand in the kitchen? So? What do you need a hand with? Oh, no, I just thought you might want to talk.
Whoa! Dude, that's really slick.
Man, that's some secret agent stuff right there.
So, April's still on the fence about kids, huh? Yeah, and I'm freaking out, man.
I want kids so bad.
You know, yesterday, I was at the park, and I saw this group of eight-year-olds laughing and playing and having a good time.
I almost started crying.
Granted, I had just face-planted on my rollerblades.
That's what they were laughing at.
Sure.
All right, go ahead.
What? You're going to lecture me about how Andy and I should have kids.
You're going to be like, "They're so great.
They change your life.
"And yes, they drive you nuts, but it's all worth it "for the beauty and the majesty and the glory "of their little faces in the morning.
" Blah, blah, blah and barf.
You know why it's so unfair? Because you guys got so lucky.
You had sex one time and you had three kids and they're all, like, smart and great and healthy.
And now, your lives are perfect.
But our life is pretty perfect already.
And you know what? Kids act the opposite of their parents.
That's why your kids are so cool.
But Andy and I are cool already, so our kids will be, like, really lame and weird.
I'm sorry.
I just don't know what to do.
Please tell me what to do.
What do I do? It's not about trying to make your life perfect.
Nobody's lives are perfect.
You have kids because you and Andy are a team, and you want to bring in some new team members.
So, you think we should? I don't know if you should have kids.
I really don't.
But I do like your team.
All right, Ms.
Ludgate.
We're getting close.
Babe, you look more beautiful right now than I have ever seen you.
Wow.
Just your luck that you're going into labor on Halloween.
Can I get a warm towel to get that makeup off? No! I want it on.
That's the whole point.
I put the makeup on after I went into labor.
Whatever blows your skirt up.
Okay.
You ready to push? Wait, no, babe, my birth mix.
Oh.
He did the mash Here comes a contraction.
Are you ready? Okay, I'm ready.
Let's do this.
It was a graveyard smash He did the mash It caught on in a flash He did the mash He did the monster mash From the laboratory in the castle east Burt Macklin Junior? Mmm, we need a Halloween angle.
How about Demon Spawn Baby Satan Dwyer? Oh, I like that.
Yeah.
Or maybe, Burt Snakehole Ludgate Karate Dracula Macklin Demon Jack-o'-Lantern Dwyer.
We call him Jack for short.
Hey.
Hi.
Oh, I want to scream, but I don't want to wake up my godchild.
I'm assuming it's my godchild, right? We can talk about it later.
Congrats, guys.
I know it came unexpectedly early, but pretty cool he was born in Pawnee.
Where do I put these? I have so many presents, it's weird.
Yes! Oh, for the baby? Just put them over there.
What's his name? Jack.
That's good.
Welcome to the team, little guy.
Take this down to maintenance.
I know just where to take it, Ethel.
And I know just the person who should accompany me.
I'm a little busy right now.
Not you, Kyle.
How many times did you and I deliver a form to maintenance, just like this? Oh, so many great conversations, bonding and mentoring moments.
It seems only right that we make this journey one final time.
What was that, boo-boo? Nothing.
Ohhh! Tommy T and Sexy Lexy Knope.
What are you two bad Larrys up to? Well, this is our last day in Pawnee and we have one last problem to fix.
Hold up.
You're leaving? For truth? I am going to miss you so much.
What's going on? You're not injured? Uh, yeah, I'm injured.
I got a terminal case of "get me to the front of the line at Six Flags!" Sha-boosh! It's a winter wonderland! I'm going to be so sad to see you go.
Will you do me one final kindness? Will you pretend to be my wife for an insurance scam, but then we fall in love for real? Also, can I have a pair of your gym socks? And don't worry.
It's not for anything weird.
It's just a fetish I have.
Jean-Ralphio.
Yeah.
Although I truly hope that I never see you again, I do wish you a long and happy life.
Today we say goodbye to Jean-Ralphio Saperstein.
As per his last will and testament, we will now listen to his favorite song, Bend Over, by Lil Jon featuring Tyga.
Bend over make your knees touch your elbows Bend over make your knees touch your elbows Whoo! Okay, okay, they bought it.
They bought it.
Do you have the insurance money? No doubt, no doubt.
Let's hit it, bro.
Time to start a casino in Uh, Tajikistan Down in the ground Talking about Tajikistan! Shh, shh, shh.
Jean-Ralphio? Go! Go, go, go, go! Tajikistan or die! Tajikistan or die! Tajikistan or die! Tajikistan or die! So Tom and I have a swing to fix.
Let's go.
Leslie? I've always loved you.
I know.
Oh, man, I forgot that maintenance was closed on Fridays.
What would our last ride be without one more bureaucratic snafu? Don't worry, boo-boo.
Tommy will solve this problem, no sweat.
Can I just say, Tom, you have accomplished so much, you have come so far, now you're so successful Don't forget well-dressed.
Yes, and well-dressed.
I am so very proud of you.
Thanks, Leslie.
I'm proud of me, too.
Nice crooning, buddy.
Uh, the gentleman by the bar there sent you over this glass of wine, and his business card.
Okay.
So, as you all know, Tom's Bistro has been presented with a huge expansion opportunity, and I don't want to make a decision until I hear from my senior advisory board.
So, is this a good idea? Accounting Nerd.
I'm a congressman, Tom.
Can you at least call me Ben? No can do, Accounting Nerd.
We all knew you before you were a big shot.
Let's keep the whining to a minimum.
Well, there are always going to be risks when you open new restaurants.
But you've done your homework.
All the numbers line up.
Side-note, I would again strongly recommend adding calzones to the menu.
Ugh.
The worst.
Ron? It's a bold capitalistic gambit, son.
But nothing ventured, nothing gained.
Regal Meagle? Real estate is pretty cheap right now.
If you're going to do it, this is a good time.
Okay.
I'm doing it.
Over the next five years, there's going to be 20 Tom's Bistros across America.
Look out, world.
Tommy's about to blow up.
And blow up he did, but not in a good way.
He lost everything.
Today, Tom Haverford is broke, destitute.
And worst of all, swaggerless.
Tommy, you've got to stop watching this.
I can't tear myself away.
It's a whole documentary about my failures.
That you made! I had to.
I have to remember every tiny awful aspect of this.
I lost everything, Lucy.
The franchises, most of my money I had to sell my pocket square collection! What are people's eyes going to be drawn to? Look, you had a tough break.
The stock market tanked, credit dried up.
Who could have predicted that the country would run out of beef? You've just got to move on.
That's the problem, though.
I've gone bust in the past, but it was because I did something reckless.
This time, I was smart and careful, and I still went broke.
What do I do now? Well, you and I are going to be fine.
And you'll come up with a new idea.
You always do.
I once started It failed in four months.
I opened a clothing rental store.
I built a restaurant empire.
They all failed.
But the story of America isn't about second or third chances.
It's about fourth, fifth, sixth, twentieth, fiftieth chances.
That's how long it took me to get where I am today.
An American Success Story.
As you know if you've read the book, I've outlined seven different types of successful people.
You can be an Andy.
An April.
A Ben.
A Leslie.
A Ron.
A Donna.
Or my personal favorite.
A Tom.
But what do we definitely not want to be? A Garry! That's right.
Do not be a Garry.
He's talking about me.
Hey.
Hey! Thanks so much for coming, guys.
Are you kidding? Tom, this is incredible.
A bestselling book, a 40-city tour.
Well, I couldn't have done it without you.
Well, the book is called Failure.
I don't know how to take that.
I'm serious.
You guys have always supported me.
Here, I inscribed you a copy.
"When I think of success, I think of you.
"You are a true inspiration to me.
"I love you.
Tom Haverford.
" Oh, sorry, that's actually for Kendrick Lamar.
Here's yours.
"Best wishes.
" And I mean every word of it.
So, how are we going to fix this swing? Hold a public forum? Have a rally? Smash that door and do some looting? Actually, I think there's a simpler solution.
We just need the help of the most powerful man in Pawnee.
Jim, how the heck are you? Yeah, look, I hate to bother you, but I'm here with my two best friends, Leslie Knope and Tom Haverford.
Shh.
And we need the first-floor maintenance room open.
Mmm.
Okay, great.
And best to Louise and the girls.
Okay, bye-bye.
You guys are all set.
Thank you, Mayor Gergich.
You really saved our butts.
I am so happy that you get to be mayor.
Are you enjoying yourself? Oh, are you kidding me? Leslie, I know that this is purely ceremonial and it will be over in just a couple of weeks, but I just don't know how my life could get any better than this.
In a turn of events both shocking and unexpected, interim mayor Garry Gergich was officially elected today, thanks to a massive write-in campaign.
Mayor Gergich, what are your plans for your first actual term? Oh, geez.
Uh, you know what, I have no idea, Perd.
I mean, this is so crazy.
I just hope I do a good job, and I promise I'm going to try my best.
And faithfully serve the people of Pawnee, Indiana.
As President of City Council, I, Councilwoman Brandi Maxxxx, star of more than 11,000 adult films in the last two years, officially declare Garry Gergich Mayor of Pawnee, Indiana, for the fourth time.
Thank you, Pawnee! Okay, great.
Garry Gergich, you are now mayor, again, for the tenth time, proving conclusively that in these corporate states of America, it's the entrenched powers who hold all the cards.
Thank you, Councilman Morris.
Thank you, Pawnee! Happy birthday, my sweet, sweet husband.
We all love you so much.
I have had the perfect life.
I have had the perfect marriage.
Oh.
The perfect children and the perfect grandchildren and great-grandchildren.
And I just want you to know how much I love you.
Okay.
Come on, everybody.
Say "Gergich.
" Gergich! Mayor Garry Gergich died peacefully, in his sleep, on his 100th birthday, holding the hand of his beloved wife, Gayle.
Mmm.
Gayle looks amazing.
Yeah, yeah, I know.
He will now be given the Indiana Notary Society's highest honor, the 21-Stamp Salute.
Rest in peace, friend.
They spelled his name wrong on the tombstone.
Close enough.
Hmm.
It's time to go.
Okay.
How's this for a headline? Parks Gang Reunites for One Last Bang.
" That's a little dirty.
Well, it's a headline, Shauna.
Sex sells.
Knope.
Make yourself useful and hand me that crescent wrench.
Well Not bad craftsmanship, Ron.
It is perfect craftsmanship.
I calculate the cost of my labor at $38.
I can send the bill to you? So, you think you're going to stick around Pawnee? Oh, I imagine so.
Not sure where I would go, really.
Well, we're going to come back here a lot.
You know what they say.
Don't be a stranger.
Despite the recent financial crisis, Very Good Building Company will finish fiscal year 2022 in excellent financial shape, thanks in large part to the stewardship of your chairman, Ron Swanson.
Mr.
Chairman, would you like to say a few words? I resign as chairman.
Effective immediately.
Uh, would you like to explain why? No.
Should we discuss your retirement package? Just give me whatever the Board thinks is fair.
Agreed.
Best of luck.
Don't get emotional, Vaughn.
You're embarrassing yourself.
What just happened? Ron, your family is beautiful.
They are a handsome bunch.
Diane and I are especially proud, because Ivy was just accepted at Stanford University.
Wow.
Yeah? It's going to cost an arm and a leg.
Did you take my advice? I did.
Thank you again.
I sold some of my gold, and officially diversified my portfolio.
Congratulations.
You now own 51% of the Lagavulin Distillery.
Pleasure doing business with you.
And with you.
- Sláinte.
- Sláinte.
So, Ron, what brings you here? I am at something of a personal crossroads.
Yes! I love personal crossroads.
I once made the mistake of not talking to you at such a moment, and I do not intend to repeat that error.
Well, let's take a walk.
There's a cute little park nearby.
I suppose I had simply accomplished everything I wanted to, and there seemed to be little point in continuing.
So, what do you want to do now? Well, that's the problem.
I am not sure.
My kids are growing up.
My days in an office feel like a waste.
I would like to turn my attention to something that would make me feel useful.
But for the life of me, I cannot figure out what.
And there are not many people I mean, we were workplace proximity acquaintances for many years.
And so, I thought I thought, maybe Say no more, you big softie.
I'm going to spend every waking moment trying to figure this out for you.
You want to stay for dinner? We're having steak.
Mmm.
But we're also hosting several members of the House Subcommittee on Foreign Affairs.
I'll take that steak to go, please and thank you.
Hey, there you are.
Thanks for meeting me here.
Well, if you'd held them here instead of that conference room, I would have come to more meetings.
I've got to tell you, Leslie.
Establishing this national park right next to Pawnee is quite an accomplishment.
This is a fine piece of land you saved.
Thank you, Ron.
You want to run it? The superintendent of Bryce Canyon retired, and I convinced the superintendent of this park to transfer, shuffled a few things around The point is, someone needs to take care of this place now.
Thought it should be you.
I Well, first of all, I would be working for the federal government Your job would be to walk around the land alone.
You'd live in the same town you've always lived in.
You'd work outside, you'd talk to bears.
Next argument.
Well, there must be dozens of people gunning for this job.
I wouldn't want you to ruffle any feathers.
Am I even qualified? Well, a few people might be annoyed.
But they'll get over it.
And as far as your qualifications, you're Ron Swanson.
Stop being a dummy and accept.
When do I start? Oh, today.
I already accepted for you.
I still remember how to forge your signature.
Let's go meet your staff.
Pawnee National Park Rangers, this is Ron Swanson, your new superintendent and boss.
Rangers.
My name is Ronald Ulysses Swanson.
Your job, and mine, is to walk this land and make sure no one harms it.
If you show up on time, speak honestly, and treat everyone with fairness, we will get along just fine.
Though hopefully not too fine, as I am not looking for any new friends.
End of speech.
Well said.
Thank you, Leslie.
You're welcome, Ron.
Okay.
Time to go to work.
Laugh with me, buddy Jest with me, buddy Don't let her get the best of me, buddy Don't ever let me start feeling lonely Well, I have to make a couple more adjustments.
Babe, I don't want to seem dramatic, but I have just reconsidered every decision that we have made over the last year and I think we need to stay in Pawnee forever.
I know.
But we have to pick up the kids and we have a flight to catch.
But when is this group of people ever going to be all together again? That's all I want.
All of these people in the same place at the same time.
It will happen.
Someday.
What's going to happen between now and then? A lot.
And it's all going to be great.
You promise? I promise.
This is a nice house.
You say that every time we're here.
I'm just trying to distract you, so you don't have a nervous breakdown.
I think I am past that point.
You don't have to worry about me anymore.
Hey, folks.
Welcome back.
Great to have so many good friends and colleagues.
We're looking forward to a great conversation and a good dinner.
As usual, there is only one rule.
No shop talk.
So, if you want to discuss politics, you're going to have to wait until after dinner.
I'm looking at you, Leslie.
Okay.
Well, as long as we get to play charades later.
Okay.
Last time we played charades, she spent three and a half hours here.
You're just mad because you lost.
Oh, come on.
Damn, that food was good.
I've said it before and I'll say it again.
Joe Biden knows his way around a seafood risotto.
You've said that before? Anyway, the point is, yes, I do like working at Interior.
I love it.
But I'm always looking for new challenges.
Why do you ask? There's a rumor the Governor of Indiana isn't going to run again.
And my friends at the DNC are very interested in you as a candidate.
For governor of Indiana? Mmm-hmm.
Someone's been reading my kindergarten dream journal.
So, what do you think? I'll call you next week and we can talk about it? Oh.
Okay.
Great.
Well, this is exciting.
I'm going to take this energy and I'm going to go crush Joe Biden in charades.
Dr.
Jill? Let's pick teams.
Oh.
Move.
Need the congressman.
This is time-sensitive.
Hey, Jen, I didn't know you were here.
I'm everywhere.
You want to be governor of Indiana? What? Colquitt is not going to run again.
It's a rumor for now, but my gut says it's for real.
You're the perfect candidate.
Local hero, state government experience.
Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
I mean, the only potential problem is that devastatingly nerdy Cones of Dunshire thing.
Uh, that's a problem? Mmm.
I'm sorry, but it's the ninth-highest selling multi-player figurine-based strategy fantasy sequel game in history.
Please don't bail on me because of what just happened.
So I had a pretty interesting conversation with Janet from the DNC tonight.
Oh, yeah? Yeah.
She said that Governor Colquitt might be stepping down, and the DNC thinks that I should run for governor.
Oh, God.
That kind of sucks.
Really? Why? No, I mean, that's amazing.
It's just, Jen Barkley kind of approached me about running.
Oh! Oh.
Well, I mean, obviously Right.
Yeah.
No, no.
I mean, obviously.
Yeah.
I mean, obviously, we Okay.
Pros of you running for governor.
You would be a great governor.
We could make Pawnee our home base.
The kids could go to school in Pawnee.
And it would be a huge career move for you.
The pros of me running for governor are the same thing.
It's the same list.
Right.
The only con of you running would be that I don't get to run.
And vice versa.
Good.
So, we've solved it.
Look.
We're going back to Pawnee in a week.
Why don't we just talk about it after that? Good idea.
Hey, maybe we can drop by the old stomping grounds.
See how the Parks Department has changed.
I love it.
Okay.
Are you ready? No, but we don't have a choice, do we? Kids! Dinner! Hey, I'm going to eat in my room because I have to study.
Can we go to Bobby's house to watch the game? Have you finished your homework? Okay, don't forget - Bye, Dad.
Bye, Mom.
- Bye.
Don't forget your ice skates.
You have a lesson tomorrow.
Bye, Mom.
Bye, Dad.
Bye.
Want some broccoli? Ugh! No.
You know, now that I'm here, it's giving me an idea about this governor thing.
Maybe we need fresh eyes.
You know, other people to weigh in.
We should talk to Ron.
Or Tom.
Or April.
Or Donna.
Or Andy, even.
Sometimes, he can be wise.
Yeah, good idea.
Let's call them.
Or you know what else we could do? Just talk to them in person.
Surprise! Oh, wow.
It's what you wanted, right? Everyone in the same room, at the same time.
I can't believe you.
We're all here together in the same room.
In this room.
I don't think I could be happier right now.
Want to bet? Hi.
Oh, Ann's here.
Ann.
Ann's here.
Hey.
Hey, buddy.
How are you doing? Good.
You guys, Ann's here.
Should we move away from here? Yeah.
Yeah, this could go on for some time.
Aw.
Your hair looks amazing, by the way.
You look like a cartoon princess.
Oh, thank you.
It's from the pills I was telling you about.
I took some of those, but I don't know, they didn't do anything and they kind of upset my stomach.
No, you're supposed to crack them and leave them on your hair overnight.
Not eat them.
Oh, no.
Well, it's confusing, because they're delicious.
Because my first book was such a smash, I had to come up with a new angle for the follow-up.
Then, it hit me, Failure Failing to Fail.
Love it.
How's everything? You properly treating yo' self out there in Seattle? In a manner of speaking.
Joe and I spend most of our time on the foundation.
I can't believe you went non-profit.
I mean, I love you, you're one of my best friends, but you have betrayed me and everything we stand for.
You've changed.
Maybe you're right.
By the way, what time is it? Oh, it looks like it's half past spla-dow! What? I take it all back.
That's a lot of diamonds.
Gimme, gimme, gimme.
Hey, Oliver.
Hey, Leslie.
Hello, Ann.
Hi, April.
Your kids are, like, surprisingly awesome.
Thank you.
Did you use an egg donor, or give Chris a hall pass for a night? Once again, they are my biological children.
Once again, I don't believe you.
Ann, you rainbow-infused space unicorn.
Ann, you beautiful, sassy mannequin come to life.
Ann, you opalescent tree shark.
Leslie, you are the master of the metaphor.
Oh.
I recently compared her to a nutrient-rich chia seed.
What's that thing on your wrist? Oh! You are extremely healthy.
I do that literally Aren't you afraid that thing might give you cancer? Well, I am now.
Well, there he is.
Chip Traeger.
You old son of a gun.
Andy, it's Chris.
Is it? Huh.
Hello, Jack.
Ron Swanson.
Strong handshake.
Well done, you two.
Thank you.
So, are you going to have another one? Um Shh.
Shh.
'Cause 'Cause he's sleeping? How can you tell? Oh, it's a common misconception that the Oculus holds all of the power.
It's actually the Lamplighter.
Ann.
Oh, my God.
It's happening! It's totally happening.
Our kids are falling in love.
This is good.
Okay, remember.
If this is ever going to work, we have to pretend to disapprove.
Yeah.
Right.
Good call.
Hey! Leslie, no.
Oh.
Who cares? Ann Arbor, Michigan, is literally the greatest city that I have ever lived in.
But Pawnee is better.
So, we're moving back.
That's great.
Yeah.
I'm going to run admissions at Indiana.
I'm trading Wolverines for Hoosiers.
Well, you're getting the better end of that deal.
Tom.
I took the quiz in your book about what kind of person I am.
I'm a Ron.
Ha! I'm usually a Tom, but sometimes, I'm a Donna.
Last time I took it, I was a Tom.
What? No.
No, no, no! Take it again.
I've got to go recalibrate the quiz.
So, did anyone have any insights on our "running for governor" situation? I've been so busy catching up with everyone, I haven't had a chance to ask them.
Yeah, me neither.
Okay, here's what I think.
I hate when we're on opposite sides.
It stinks.
Plus, if one of us runs, it doesn't mean we're going to win.
Right.
And it's not like this is the only career option for either of us.
So, all that matters is that we are good.
Right.
Which is why I have an idea.
I think we should flip a coin.
I mean it.
Let's literally flip a coin.
Because whoever runs is going to do a great job.
And whoever doesn't run is going to be right alongside the other one, offering advice and support and whatever they need.
So, it doesn't matter.
So let's flip a coin.
Okay.
You, Leslie Knope, the queen of planning and binders and pro and con lists.
You want to leave this to chance? Yes.
Because whatever's next, you and I are in it together.
So, let's go tell everybody.
And they can participate and they can sign the coin and then, you know, the coin will eventually make its way into the Smithsonian.
Okay, everybody, gather around! First of all, I just have to say that all of you in the same room at the same time with your children here, it's like It's the greatest thing that's ever happened in the history of America.
And secondly, Ben and I have an announcement.
Leslie is running for governor of Indiana.
What? Bully for you, Knope.
That's amazing.
Yeah, she got approached by the DNC and they think she has a great shot to win.
Indiana native, supremely qualified, and she wrote that she wanted to be governor in her kindergarten dream journal.
This makes sense.
So, I'm running for governor.
Ben is going to be running my campaign, because he's a super genius and he's got a tight, compact little body like an Italian sports car.
But right now, I'd like to make a toast.
When we worked here, together, we fought, scratched, and clawed to make people's lives a tiny bit better.
That's what public service is all about.
Small, incremental change, every day.
Teddy Roosevelt once said, "Far and away, "the best prize that life has to offer "is a chance to work hard at work worth doing.
" And I would add that what makes work worth doing is getting to do it with people that you love.
I started my career more than 30 years ago, in the Parks and Recreation Department right here in Pawnee, Indiana.
I've had a lot of different jobs, including two terms as your governor.
And soon, a new, unknown challenge awaits me.
Which, to me, even now, is thrilling, because I love the work.
Not to say that public service isn't sexy.
Because it definitely is.
But that's not why we do it.
We do it because we get the chance to work hard at work worth doing, alongside a team of people who we love.
So, I thank those people who have walked with me, and I thank you for this honor.
Now, go find your team, and get to work.
In addition to Governor Knope's honorary doctorate from the School of Public Policy, in recognition of all she has done for the people of Indiana, the campus library will henceforth bear her name.
A library? Yeah, that should do it.
The swing is fixed! Well, there you have it, sir.
Another problem solved by the hard work of dedicated public servants.
Okay, great.
Bye.
Yeah, that's about right.
Okay.
Well.
Hang on.
Gayle made me promise to get a quick picture, just for old times' sake.
Good idea! Garry had a good idea.
Ugh.
The lighting is all wrong.
I'm going to send you a glamor shot.
Just photoshop me in later.
I'm not going to show up in that picture anyway, because I'm a vampire.
Hey, babe, for this picture, should I be Burt Macklin, Johnny Karate, or my new character, Sergeant Thunderfist, M.
D? Where did you get that? Found it in the sandbox.
Ew.
Go Macklin.
Macklin's the hottest.
Get on with it.
I can't hold this smile forever.
I look ridiculous.
Okay, hang on.
Okay.
You ready, babe? Yes.
I'm ready.
That is a series wrap on Parks and Recreation.