Bewitched (1964) s07e13 Episode Script

Hi.
This is Elizabeth Montgomery.
Welcome to Bewitched, next on ABC.
Tonight's show was created in the true spirit of Christmas.
The story was written by the 10th grade English class at Thomas Jefferson High School in Los Angeles.
My friends at Oscar Mayer and Company and I feel it is a very special Bewitched, conceived in the image of innocence, and filled with truth.
Mommy, look.
I wrapped Lisa's present.
Oh, sweetheart, that's terrific.
Now, uh, Tabitha, this is the first time that you ever have anyone spend the night, and I want to make sure that you remember everything I told you.
I'm supposed to share my toys and don't fly.
No flying and no witchcraft of any kind.
It'll be like having a temporary sister for a couple of days.
I wish I had a real sister, 'cause they don't break things all the time.
Oh.
Adam didn't mean to break your jack-in-the-box.
Did you, sweetheart? Adam.
What's going on? Oh, just a little sibling quibbling.
It'll pass.
That's them.
Have you had that talk with Tabitha? Yeah, I did.
Everything's fine.
Hi there.
Come on in.
Hi, Darrin.
How are you, Dorothy? Pete, good to see you.
Hi, Lar.
LARRY: Hi, Sam.
Hi.
And you're Lisa.
Hello, Mr.
Stephens.
It's nice meeting you.
Oh, it's nice meeting you too, Lisa.
We're very happy you're going to stay with us.
Especially me.
Uh, that's "temporary.
" As in sisters.
Right.
Come on, Lisa, I'll show you the tree.
Uh, and don't forget to introduce Lisa to Adam.
Do I have to? Yes.
Uh, come on in, everybody.
Oh, we haven't got time, Sam.
We gotta get to the airport.
I'll just say a last goodbye to Lisa.
You've been saying goodbye all the way over here.
Ha-ha.
Have fun, sweetheart.
We'll be back before Santa Claus comes.
Oh, Brockway called.
He wants to meet us at the office this afternoon to go over the layout revisions.
I'll be there.
Good.
Now, if you land Brockway, and Keith comes home with the Fenmore account, we'll really have a white Christmas.
Uh.
Watch that.
Come on.
Bye, Sam.
Bye-bye.
Have a good trip.
Have a good time.
Well, shall we finish trimming the tree? Uh, I've got a little work to do.
And final touches on the, uh, Brockway layouts.
Oh, okay.
Then we'll go to the park.
How does that sound? TABITHA: Goody.
I'll get my coat.
Hello? Oh, Mr.
Brockway.
How are you? Fine, fine.
Good.
Yes, I have just put the final touches on the layouts, and, uh, forgive the immodesty, but, uh, they're great.
Mother always said: "Don't trust a man who is modest.
He knows something.
" Uh, the reason I called you is I'd like to postpone our appointment from 2 until 4:00 this afternoon.
Is that okay? Sure.
Four o'clock is fine.
Good.
See you at the office, Stephens.
Get his address.
We have the office address.
His home address.
Mother also said: "Never sign a contract "without checking a man's home life.
"Make sure there are no skeletons rattling around the family closet.
" I'm ready for my warm milk and cookies now, Miss Hathaway.
Hey, you colored her arm green.
I can't stay inside the lines too good.
"Too well.
" Too well.
You color your girl green too.
Then they can be sisters.
'Cause they can't be sisters if they're different colors.
Okay.
Where did you get that idea? The girl in the park.
She said that Lisa and me weren't the same color, so we couldn't be sisters.
She's a big dope.
That's not nice, Tabitha.
She got me mad.
I almost did some magic to her.
Tabitha.
I wasn't going to tell, Mommy.
Tell what? Oh, uh, I-I think Adam is up from his nap.
Uh, why don't you come upstairs for a minute and help me? Now? Now.
Anyway, don't forget we're sisters, no matter what anybody says.
Okay.
Hello.
Well, hello there.
Oh, my.
Aren't you a fine, great big girl? I'll bet your mommy's the housekeeper, right? What housekeeper? Uh, your mommy works here.
Or is it your papa? My daddy works for McMann & Tate, a big advertising company.
Oh, he does? Mm-hm.
And Tabitha's my sister.
We're not the same color, but we're sisters just the same.
Oh.
Uh, well, then you must look like your mommy.
Uh, right? "Splitting image," Daddy says.
You wanna see somebody? Uhno.
I think I've seen enough.
Heh.
Bye.
Goodbye.
Oh, no.
Now look what I did.
If you close your eyes, I'll clean you up.
Why do I have to close my eyes? It's a family secret.
Okay.
Oh, boy.
I didn't mean to do it, but it's great.
Didn't mean to do what? How'd you do that? Well, now that we're the same color, we're really sisters.
So I guess I can tell you, 'cause it's a family secret.
I'm a witch.
But witches are only in stories.
You can't be a witch.
Okay, then.
Explain how you changed color.
You're a witch.
Do you ride a broom? Witches don't ride brooms, and they don't wear pointy hats and have warts on their nose.
What do you do? I do this.
Wow.
You really are a witch.
What else could you do? Can you change you like me? Hey, now we're sisters the other way.
Wow.
Even your own mother wouldn't recognize you.
I didn't think of that.
Gee.
Now we're not the same anymore.
Yeah, I wish we were.
Me too.
But if I turned you white, your mother wouldn't recognize you.
Yeah.
I wish there was some way.
I know a way.
Apparently, Mr.
Brockway stopped by here earlier, and someone from your illustrious family made such an impression on him that he's decided he wants someone else on the account.
He thinks I'm not stable.
Darrin, Mr.
Brockway did not come by here today.
Besides, all my relatives are out of town for the holidays.
Where out of town? The 14th century.
Far enough? He's right.
I'm not stable.
Darrin, everything around here today has been as mortal as blueberry pie.
TABITHA: Mommy? Yes, sweetheart? Mommy, don't be mad.
I was just wishing and wishing that Lisa and me could be really, really sisters, and look what happened.
Relax, sweetheart.
It isn't witchcraft.
Then what is it? "Wishcraft.
" And when I tried to change us back, I couldn't.
Sam.
Hi.
Is everything all right with Tabitha and Lisa this morning? Everything's fine.
They slept well and ate all their breakfast.
Now, come on, Sam.
Uh, you know what I mean.
Come on, Lisa.
D-Darrin, don't panic.
Good morning, Daddy.
Good morning, dear.
Good morning, Mr.
Stephens.
Good morning, Lisa.
Can we go upstairs and play now? Sure.
Come on, Lisa.
Uh, you said the polka dots would disappear by this morning.
Well, I-I have a call in to Dr.
Bombay.
I told him what the problem is.
And the problem is? Tabitha doesn't want to change back.
Well, you're a bigger witch than she is.
Do something.
Well, there's nothing I can do.
Her conscious mind wants to obey me, but Tabitha and Lisa want to be sisters so badly that her subconscious mind won't cooperate.
How about getting through to her little-old subconscious with a little, old-fashioned mortal spanking? Darrin.
I'll get it.
Merry Christmas.
I guess you're still a little angry about yesterday.
You're not gonna believe this, but I'd forgotten about it.
Oh.
Larry.
Oh, hi, Sam.
Merry Christmas.
Oh, thank you.
Put it under the tree.
Good.
I decided not to let Brockway get away with this.
I want my number one man on that account.
Since when am I back to number one? Ever since Ferguson bombed out.
Darrin, we can't let the Brockway account out of our office.
And you're the only man who can follow through on your layouts.
Did Brockway ever tell you where he got the idea that I wasn't stable? No.
And that's my plan.
We're gonna show him just how stable you are.
We're gonna have the Christmas office party here tonight.
Uh, L-Larry, we couldn't do that.
I-I-I mean, n-not on such short notice.
I thought of that, Sam.
The caterers will take care of everything.
Oh, terrific.
What makes you think Brockway will come? Well, that's just it.
When I told him that the party was here tonight, he said "yes" right away.
Seemed very interested.
Almost curious.
So we're gonna give him the works: eggnog, Christmas carols, the good-old Stephens' warmth and hospitality.
And at just the right moment, we'll tippy-toe into the nursery to look at those sleeping angels, and Brockway will sign right on the dotted line.
Uh, now, Tabitha.
I want you to close your eyes and wish real, real hard that you and Lisa would change back to normal.
I am going to try this spell from this book of incantations to counteract wishcraft.
Now, close 'em.
You too.
Tight.
Okay.
Warlock, wizard Behold these tots And hear my plea Out, out, darn spots Okay.
You can open your eyes.
Tabitha, are you really trying? I think so.
There is nothing funny about this.
We know.
Can we finish our game now, Mommy? What's wrong with the game we're playing? I am outnumbered.
So I guess I'll just have to wait till the other part of my team gets here: Dr.
Bombay.
Sam, what are we gonna say to the Wilsons? I-I've got an idea.
Uh, we'll-- We'll take Tabitha and Adam and Lisa, and we'll get out of the country.
Darrin, that's kidnapping.
Oh.
Well, if worse comes to worse, uh, we can always tell them the truth.
The truth? Sure.
They understand about minority groups.
I-I'll just tell 'em that I'm a witch and so is Tabitha, and Tabitha made a little mistake, and now Lisa's polka-dotted.
You're right.
Kidnapping is the only way.
Oh, sweetheart, that's Larry.
A-and don't worry.
Dr.
Bombay has never let us down.
Perfect.
Perfect.
This will do it.
With any luck, we'll have Brockway signed and gift-wrapped for Christmas, hm? What's keeping Sam? Oh, uh-- Uh, she'll be down in a minute.
Mm.
Could be him.
I'll mingle.
Howdy.
All right, Darrin.
Welcome back.
What are all the cars doing out--? Hey.
A party.
Hey.
How about that? Oh, you shouldn't have.
But I deserve it.
I-it got transferred here.
Oh.
Here, let me take that.
Where's Lisa? Uh, she's upstairs, asleep.
Oh, I'll take a look.
No, no.
I mean, uh-- Uh, Larry.
The Wilsons are here.
Excuse me.
Larry! Welcome back, you two.
How you doing? What's the good news? The good news, she's-a good.
I knew you would do it.
Come on, come on.
I wanna hear every exquisite economic detail.
Excuse us.
I'll only go up a minute.
Yeah, no.
Uh-- Uh-- I mean I-- I have to tell you something first.
Is something wrong? No, no.
[DOORBELL RINGS.]
Uh, the doorbell.
Ah-heh.
I'll, uh, answer the doorbell first, and, uh, then I'll take you upstairs.
Okay.
Yeah.
Well, M-Mr.
Brockway, good evening.
Good evening, Stephens.
I, uh-- I trust there's no hard feelings.
No.
No.
Oh, say, I'd like you to meet-- And this must be Mrs.
Stephens.
I met your little girl yesterday.
By George, Stephens, you're right.
She is the spitting image of her mommy.
Uh-- I want you to give this to her uh, from me.
And, uh, I brought this one for the other little girl.
Uh, Tabitha, isn't it? And I-- I brought this for the little boy.
I wasn't quite sure whose side of the family he takes after, so I thought I'd just play it safe.
Uh, by the way, I want you two to know that I am for you.
Someday what you're doing will be accepted, I guess.
But by George, it sure takes a lot of guts.
Say, I think I'll get me some of that eggnog, all right? Heh-heh.
Yes, sir.
Guts.
What was that all about? He thinks you and I are married.
Where'd he get that idea? Lisa must have answered the door when he came by yesterday.
So? So she probably said that she and Tabitha were sisters.
Are they still going through that? Which is why we're in this mess.
I could tell something was wrong.
Darrin, I want to see Lisa right now.
Uh, here you are.
Come on.
I want you to meet someone.
Not till I see Lisa.
Oh, worrier.
Come on.
It'll only take a minute.
Okay, Tabitha.
I have the cure from Dr.
Bombay, and you don't even have to try to try.
Cat's paw Dragon's claw Combine in Delicate maneuver-- Wow.
This is better than television.
Lisa, we mustn't speak in the middle of an incantation.
Sorry.
Sam.
Cat-- Keith and Dorothy just arrived.
And Dorothy's on her way up here.
Mommy and Daddy are here? Yeah-- S-so we'd better hurry.
But if you take away the dots, we won't be sisters anymore.
Tabitha, you can be sisters without looking alike.
But that girl in the park said that Lisa and me can't be sisters 'cause I'm white and she's black.
That's right, Mrs.
Stephens.
That's what she said.
Well, she was wrong.
Now, sisters are girls who share something.
Usually, the same parents.
But if you share other things-- good feelings, friendship, love --the way you two do, well, that makes you sisters in another way.
Actually, all men are brothers, even if they're girls.
Well, I guess Mama would be kind of upset to see the polka dot.
Kind of.
I think they're ready now.
Okay, Tabitha.
Okay, Mommy.
[MAGIC CHIMING.]
But remember, we'll still be sisters, and you'll come visit.
All the time.
This is better than Disneyland.
Boy, that was fun.
Yeah.
Mm-hm.
There she is.
Hi, Lisa.
Hi.
Hi.
Tabitha.
How are you? Fine.
Do you mind, uh, equal time? Hi, Daddy.
Hi, baby.
How are you? Fine.
I had the best time.
And guess what? KEITH: What? Mrs.
Stephens is a witch, and so is Tabitha.
But they're good witches.
That's right, honey.
And you're our good little fairy.
Then, you mean it is not a mixed marriage? That's what you thought? Yes.
But now that you know the truth, you want Darrin back on the account.
Of course.
Excuse me.
I just want to make sure it's me talking.
It's me, all right.
Mr.
Brockway, find yourself another agency.
We're not interested.
You're not interested--? Huh.
Y-you mean, you're turning down a million-dollar account? Believe me, I'm more surprised than you are.
You've got to be kidding me, Tate.
Nobody turns down a million-dollar contract.
Anyhow, you've got me all wrong.
Regarding the house rule against witchcraft I'm full of holiday cheer, so if you get the right cue Why, uh, some of my best friends are Negroes.
Why, I'd be the-- You all right? Huh? What's going on here? What's the matter? Is this some kind of a joke? What--? WhyI-I think I'd better be-- Be going now.
I'mfeeling a little strange.
Eh-- What was that all about? I don't know.
But I think Mr.
Brockway is dreaming of a black Christmas.
Here's the last one.
And it's for Lisa.
Thank you.
Ha-huh.
Excuse me.
Here you are.
Oh.
Mr.
Brockway, this is a surprise.
Merry Christmas.
M-Merry Christmas.
Uh-- I should have called before I came over, but I was afraid you'd say no.
I had a very sleepless night last night, and well, I-I just had to come over.
Come in.
Thank you.
Oh, uh I don't want to intrude.
Come in.
Well, uh, everybody, look who's here.
Uh, merry Christmas.
Oh.
Mr.
Brockway.
Merry Christmas.
Tabitha, uh, why don't you and Lisa take Adam upstairs? Y-you can play up there for a while, okay? Come on, sweetheart.
You can take your blocks.
Go on.
Go on.
I told Mrs.
Stephens I didn't want to intrude uh, but I've got something I'd like to say to all of you.
A peculiar thing happened to me here last night.
The equivalent of 20 years on the psychiatrist's couch.
I discovered something about myself.
I found out I'm a racist.
A racist? Oh, not the obvious, out-in-the-open type of racist.
Not me.
No, I was a sneaky racist.
I was so sneaky, I didn't even know it myself.
A very smart man said: "To adequately define the problem is the first step toward solving it.
" Well I've defined it.
And I'd like to apologize for that other thing.
That [CHUCKLING.]
That misunderstanding.
There's really no apology necessary.
Thank you.
Well, I guess I'll be going.
Before dinner? What? Mr.
Brockway you are invited to stay for Christmas dinner.
Thank you, Mrs.
Stephens.
I'd like that very much.
StephensI wish I could talk you into coming back on my account.
This is Christmas, Mr.
Brockway.
Business can wait.
I'll tell you, Mr.
Brockway, a lot depends on how you do at dinner.
Hm? We're having integrated turkey: white meat and dark.
Okay, come on.
Eggnog for everybody.
Let-- Let me have your coat.
Oh, thank you.
And your hat.
Thank you very much.
Here we go.
Excuse me.
Merry Christmas.
Hi.
We hope you enjoyed tonight's story as much as we enjoyed bringing it to you.
Oscar Mayer and Company, together with all of us on Bewitched, wish all of you a very merry Christmas, and a happy and peaceful New Year.
TRANSCRIPT: adrianp55