Blue Bloods s07e13 Episode Script
The One That Got Away
1 (Baez sighs) You know we should be back at the squad right now doing fives on the Mendez murder.
Yeah.
But look at that view.
Couple more minutes won't hurt.
It is pretty, isn't it? Mm-hmm.
Especially when you consider all those who suffered for weeks on those coffin ships just to see that face.
It'd be nice if she had a smile, though, I mean, even just a small one.
I mean, think about it, if you stood there all day welcoming people and got no thanks for it, you might not smile that much either.
(radio beeps) DISPATCH: 5-4 detectives respond to St.
Daniels ER to interview male assault complainant.
5-4 detectives, copy that.
You know what else I love about her? Despite all the bad stuff she's seen, just like cops, she's still standing.
(engine starts, revs) Nice 4-4-2.
Thanks.
Three speed or four? Four.
Oh, that's the way to go.
You? Oh, I got a hurt SS 396 sitting in my dad's garage.
JOSH: What are you doing with it? Oh, I've been working on it myself last couple years.
I got a Chevelle guy if you're interested.
He's got a flatbed and everything.
Really? Good guy? Oh, the best.
No rip-off.
We should be we should be going in.
So, hey, nice talking with you.
Hey, you know, uh, Eddie and I, we're taking my sister out to dinner tonight.
She came up from Virginia to go apartment hunting.
Why don't you join us? Uh, well You um, being put on the spot.
He probably has plans, right? Who has plans on a Thursday night? Come on, it'll be great.
Okay.
Yeah? 7:00.
Blue Smoke.
All right.
Bye.
I couldn't think of an excuse fast enough.
If you don't want me to come No, of course, come.
Of course.
It's gonna be great.
(intercom rings) BAKER: Angela's here, sir.
Angela.
Hi, Frank.
(both chuckle) Wow.
Sight for sore eyes.
Mm.
Sit with me.
(sighs) Yeah.
Please.
(chuckles) You look great.
You too.
So how is everybody? Oh, all good.
I can't believe it's been, what, seven years? At least.
Almost nine years since Joe I go by there on his birthday.
Feels good to remember him.
Thank you for that, Angela.
I wanted you to know that I'm getting married.
Well, that's wonderful.
Congratulations.
I would love for you to come to the wedding.
When is it? A week from tomorrow.
Oh.
I know.
(chuckles) It's short notice.
I, um I've been carrying this around, wondering should I send it, should I drop it off? I'm glad you dropped it off in person.
The whole family is invited, if you want to extend the invitation.
I always loved that whole gang.
And we love you and we care about you, so this guy better measure up.
Does he have a name? Steve Quinones.
Detective Steve Quinones, works narcotics.
(chuckles) You're marrying a cop.
Ugh.
I swore I would never date another one after Joe.
You deserve happiness, Angela.
I mean that.
Thank you, Frank.
I should let you get back to work.
And I will share the good news and the invitation with the family.
Oh.
I'm so glad I came to see you.
Oh.
Me too.
(elevator dings, indistinct P.
A.
announcement) Excuse me, Doc.
Detective Reagan and Baez.
We're here to see the assault victim.
Yeah, Malik Nejjari.
He's right down here.
He won't tell us what happened, but he's got a fractured radius, fractured ulna, contusions on his upper body, front and back, and two fractured ribs.
This is him.
DOCTOR: Nine years old.
And he has lots of old injuries.
This has been going on for a while.
You saying he's abused? There's no other explanation.
Who called it in? DOCTOR: Third grade teacher.
Noticed he was in so much pain, he couldn't write his own name.
School called 911.
Yeah.
Hey, Malik.
Detective Reagan.
This is my partner, Detective Baez.
The shield means that, if we ask you questions, you can trust us, okay? You want to tell us what happened? You play sports, Malik? Baseball.
Second base.
Wow.
You Mets or Yankees? Mets.
Even after they choked season? You still not giving up on them, huh? They'll come back.
Oh, okay.
The doctor said you broke some bones, Malik.
Who's the best pitcher on the Mets? Syndergard.
And who's the best hitter on the Mets? Cespedes.
Oh, okay.
And who gave you these breaks and bruises? How about if you tell me who did this to you, I'll tell you who my favorite player is on the Mets.
Deal? My dad hit me.
What'd your dad hit you with? (footsteps approaching) Malik, are you okay? Why is my son here? You're his father? I am.
Great.
Why don't the both of you come outside with us? I'm not leaving my son.
I'll stay with her.
Good.
Come on.
You hit him? What's going Who are you? I'm a detective with the NYPD.
Did you hit your son? My son is none of your business.
Well, he is now.
I don't need to talk to you.
Hey! What are you What are you doing? Placing you under arrest.
You can't arrest me.
First degree assault (handcuffs click) Ah! and endangering the welfare of a child.
I have diplomatic immunity.
Do you understand? Yeah, I understand.
Ah! Blue Bloods 7x13 The One That Got Away Hassan Nejjari is a senior diplomatic attaché from Morocco.
I don't care.
Then don't care, but you do have to recognize that There's no mistaking this for a trip and fall.
That much I recognize.
GORMLEY: Doc said the kid was hit with an object.
And some of the injuries are old ones.
Look, the charges are correct.
Assault and endangering the welfare of a child.
They would be correct if we had the authority to charge him.
I know how this works, Garrett.
That doesn't mean it's the way it should work.
Sir, she's here.
Conference room.
Yeah, right on time.
Tread lightly.
(softly): Thank you.
Hello.
Commissioner.
This is Christine Sanders, Deputy Secretary of State.
Garrett Moore, Deputy Commissioner of Public Information and Sid Gormley, Special Assistant to the Commissioner.
Pleasure.
Please, sit down.
Well, we know why I'm here.
You're here because I asked you here.
Is-Is that how this is gonna go? This isn't parking tickets or a nightclub brawl.
We're talking about the welfare of a child here.
A child who is not a U.
S.
citizen, and a child whose father is a foreign diplomat.
Have you looked at the hospital report? Sadly, yes.
But it doesn't matter what the injuries are, we still have no jurisdiction to charge this man.
GORMLEY: Diplomatic immunity should not be a free pass for brutality.
And I have asked the Moroccan government to waive immunity.
And if they do, and only then, can Mr.
Nejjari be charged.
Morocco doesn't have strict laws against corporal punishment.
No.
And there is no âwhen in Romeâ clause, I'm guessing.
No.
Then what's the morning line on them handing him over? GARRETT: We're already getting flooded with calls from the press on this case.
We will handle all press inquiries.
What are the odds? They're slim, okay? Then I don't like 'em.
And what you like and don't like is not really the issue here.
It is to me and the people of this city.
That counts.
Commissioner, you must release Mr.
Nejjari and void this arrest.
This case is not your business.
When a child is in danger in my city, it is my business.
It's not my fine print.
It's international policy as sanctioned by the United States government.
Now I have reached out to Morocco and I am investigating these charges.
And I will let you know what comes of it.
How about I conduct my own investigation and let you know what comes of that? Really? You're breaking the law right now.
Oh, we're breaking the law? You did serious bodily harm to a child.
Your child! That's breaking the law.
What did you hit him with? I'd like to speak to a lawyer, and I'd like the Moroccan attaché notified immediately.
DANNY: Well.
Well, I'd like to beat the crap out of you, but guess what? Sometimes we don't always get what we want, do we? You're going to cause an international incident, Detective.
And you're gonna cause the death of a child! Write down the names and numbers of who you want called and we'll accommodate you.
Finally, someone who understands how things work.
Make no mistake, I do agree with my partner that you are a piece of crap.
Charming.
(door opens) Mr.
Nejjari, I'm Erin Reagan with the DA's office.
You will be released shortly.
Thank you.
Can I see you outside? What the hell are you doing? What the hell are you doing? You know the guy's a diplomat.
I know that that guy beat the hell out of his own son and broke four bones, and he's getting a free pass.
My boss asked me to come down here and put a lid on it, personally.
Your boss asked you to come down and defend a child abuser.
Come on, Danny, you think I'm happy about it? You think I'm not as mad as you are that we have to let this guy go? D.
A.
's office cannot prosecute a diplomat.
Really? You want I should show you the pictures of what he did to his boy? No, I want you to release him, now! You could just say that you forgot that you have an appointment.
At 7:00 on a Thursday? You just said you don't want to go.
I don't.
Would you just come? Right, because it won't be weird, me tagging along on a date with you and your boyfriend? You and I both decided that we are going to keep our relationship professional.
We did.
Then it shouldn't be weird.
It won't be.
Good.
But I am surprised you're dating someone like him.
âSomeone like himâ? What does that mean? You know, I just thought you'd go for someone more like You? A cop.
Well, in the plus and minuses, the fact that he's not a cop is a plus.
Because Because, you know, he doesn't even know what a âperpâ is.
Right.
But he likes you because Because who wouldn't? You think it's a coincidence they picked an A.
D.
A.
with the last name âReaganâ to handle this? No.
Well, it pisses me off.
Well, that's just a waste of time.
Why? Because it's not very smart to get pissed off about someone being smart about something.
I tell you what, the D.
A.
expects you to reign in Danny and me, we'll just see to it that you fail.
Yep.
So the only way I can win is to fail? Exactly.
Okay, well, guys, legally, Hassan Nejjari cannot be charged.
So, legally, we're just supposed to sit back and allow a young boy to get abused? Not on my watch.
HENRY: I always thought that diplomatic immunity was a crock.
Come on, Grandpa.
What? The whole Vienna Convention? Well, maybe not the whole convention.
Just the loopholes.
Yeah, the loopholes.
I mean, just 'cause we can't touch the father doesn't mean we can't save the boy.
Yeah, but if the D.
A.
's office refuses to prosecute âRefusesâ implies a choice.
Well? Our child-protective services are not bound by international law.
Is that true? I'm not sure.
Has it been tested? I don't know.
I'll find out.
Good.
Well, Ranger home game, anyone? Hold on, wait, we've got one more thing.
Guess who stopped by my office? Angela Ferraro.
She asked us to her wedding next weekend.
Joe's Angela? Yeah.
And you know what? She's marrying a cop.
I'm so happy for her.
Me, too.
Such a nice girl.
Next weekend, huh? What? Well, it's just that this invite, you know, it doesn't look like an invite to a shotgun wedding, does it? Looks very well-planned.
So why the last-second invite for us? Maybe 'cause it's not her idea.
Didn't exactly wanna go there, but she is marrying a cop.
So? So it would be a major coup for a regular old cop to have the P.
C.
come to his wedding.
Well I mean, he could take photos with all the Reagans and the P.
C.
, and post 'em online, looking like we're all buddies.
I'm sure his bosses would sit up and take notice.
You really think so? I kinda hate myself for thinking it No, it crossed my mind.
It actually didn't just cross it, it, uh, pretty well stuck there.
You really think we're being played? BARNES: What did your father hit you with? (monitor beeping) Malik? You know, Malik, I never did tell you who my favorite Met player is, did I? No.
It's David Wright.
Me, too.
Yeah? You know, it's okay for you to answer our questions.
What did your father hit you with? My baseball bat.
BARNES: And why did he hit you? MALIK: I forgot to put the milk away.
Am I in trouble? No.
You're never in trouble for telling the truth, buddy.
(blues music playing) Hello.
Good evening.
Hi.
Right this way.
Nice to see you.
You, too.
Jamie.
This is my sister, Caroline.
Hi.
Caroline, this is Eddie.
It's so nice to finally meet you.
Eddie! Have a seat.
Got appetizers, drinks coming, all that.
Nice.
So, we, uh, we heard you're in town looking for apartments.
Yes.
I cannot believe how expensive it is.
I could rent a whole house in Virginia for what an apartment here costs.
Yeah, well, where are you looking? Park Slope and Tribeca.
Well, no wonder.
Those are two of the priciest neighborhoods.
Okay, so where should I look, then? I live in Brooklyn Heights.
Ooh, that's, like, actually also very expensive.
You should maybe think about, um, Jersey.
Jersey? Jersey? Okay, dump the whole register into the bag, now! (gunshots, screaming) Shut up! ROBBER: Put it in the bag! Do it now! Get over there! Move! (patrons screaming) Fill the bag! Stay down and you won't get hurt! Come on, hurry up! Cell phones on the table! Eddie, you got your gun? I don't leave home without it.
(shrieks) I said cell phones on the table! (chuckling maniacally) Okay, you go left, I'll go right.
Go.
Get down, Eddie.
Stay down.
ROBBER: Put it in the bag! Don't look at me.
ROBBER: We don't have all day! Come on! Hurry it up! Come on! Stop! Oh, my God! Get back! Please don't kill me! I said get back! Police.
Don't move! Drop the gun right now! (gunshot, patrons screaming) (screams) (panicked shouting) Keep your hands where I can see 'em! Behind your back! Don't fight me.
ROBBER 2: Why'd you do that? We just wanted some money.
Jamie! Are you okay? You good? (exhaling): Yeah.
30 innocent civilians in a small area, two perps with loaded weapons, and you two successfully apprehended them with no serious injuries.
You did everything right.
Thank you, sir.
I'm gonna write this up.
Recommend you both for a commendation.
Just doing our jobs, boss.
Good work, officers.
Yeah.
Good, man.
Oh, my God, you guys were amazing.
I mean, really, really amazing.
It was nothing, really.
You took those two robbers down like it was clockwork.
I've never seen anything like that.
Are you guys okay? I mean, my hands are they're still shaking.
I was I was so scared.
I had no idea what was gonna happen.
Hey, trust me, we were scared, too.
You would never know.
Well, I feel like I could use a drink.
Me, too.
I, uh, see, I got to be up early for work tomorrow, so it's getting kind of late.
Sorry, I didn't mean, like, right now.
We actually have to stay for a couple more hours and do some interviews - Another time.
- Absolutely.
All right.
Okay.
So I'll be talking to you.
Oh It was so nice to meet you.
- Take care.
I mean, thank you.
- You, too.
- And great job.
- Have a good night.
You too.
All right.
Huh.
Welcome back to One PP, Deputy Secretary.
What is this? Well, every so often, I get off on the wrong foot, especially with my colleagues from Washington Please.
I'm not your colleague.
So I try to show a little extra courtesy if and when we meet again.
And how much does that actually work for you? Well, it's the thought that counts.
Thank you, Baker.
I tried.
What do you what? This case is not in your jurisdiction, Commissioner.
This city is my jurisdiction.
I know that you were behind the push to get Child Services involved.
To rescue a little boy.
To interfere in diplomatic protocol.
For the sake of that boy.
Cut the crap! It's not crap, Ms.
Sanders.
You remanded Malik into foster care? No, our system did.
And now State has a problem with the Moroccan government.
That's your business, deal with it.
Don't come crying to me.
I am dealing with it.
There is a hearing set up for family court.
They will never uphold keeping the son of a foreign diplomat in foster care, and you are going to stay out of it.
I don't take orders from you.
These laws are in place for a reason.
I do not make the laws, I uphold them.
And that is exactly what you are supposed to do, too.
The NYPD Patrol Guide is 2,200 pages.
So? So it lays out every single scenario that could possibly happen on the job, to set protocol.
This is not police business.
That is exactly what it is.
A minor in the confines of our precincts is being serially abused by an adult who is charged with his care.
Is that as wide as your thinking can go? Your precinct? Well, it is a much bigger world out there, Commissioner Reagan.
I think your work is done here.
You're throwing me out? I'm asking you to leave.
This is one of those ones where we're going to have to agree to disagree.
Well, I'm not agreeing to anything.
Then please, just leave.
(door opens, closes) (phone chiming) Who keeps texting you? Uh, Caroline.
Oh She interested in you? I don't know.
I haven't known her that long yet.
But I think the incident last night really got to her.
Got to her how? Well, we deal with this stuff all the time, but people like that, like, Josh and his sister, you know, they're pretty shocked when they see someone pull out a gun and threaten people.
It's not like they saw anything.
They were too busy cowering under the table.
What did Josh say about it? Gotten radio silence from him since it happened.
Did you reach out to him? Twice.
Oh.
Oh? What does that mean? Uh, maybe he's busy, or maybe he's just processing the whole thing.
Caroline doesn't seem to be having a problem processing.
She just thinks that you're a hero.
I'm sure Josh thinks you're a hero, too.
Then why haven't I heard from him? Because he's a guy.
It's a little intimidating, as a guy, to watch your date pull out a gun and shoot an armed perp right in front of you.
It's not like he was trying to help, or or get involved or anything.
He had no gun and no training, Eddie.
What did you want him to do? Swoon over me, like Caroline seems to be doing with you.
There's a good chance Child Services is gonna release him back to his parents.
Wait.
Hold on.
You came all the way down here just to tell us that? Well, right now, the only person saying Malik is being abused is Malik.
Uh, hello.
And the history of injuries.
A history of injuries can't be attributed to the father without some corroboration.
So, we got to find somebody to confirm Malik's story? Otherwise the parents can say he sustained those injuries in any number of ways, - I get it.
and because Child Services can't enter the apartment I get it! We could talk to the school.
School's always gonna side with Child Protective Services.
The only person left is the mother.
Coming from that culture, you really think she'll contradict her husband? No.
But what other choice do we have? Thanks.
Excuse me.
Detectives Reagan and Baez.
Need to ask you a few questions about the Nejjari family.
You know what makes a good doorman? You hold the door? And hail cabs, and collect packages.
And keep your mouth shut.
Well, you know what makes a good cop? Getting people to talk when they don't want want to.
Look, I've only been here six months, buddy, I don't want to lose my job.
Hey, buddy.
We don't want to lose the nine-year-old kid who was almost beaten to death by his father.
Malik's a nice kid.
A nice kid with bruises, welts and fractures all over his body.
Hey, what do you want from me? What do we want from you? We want you to stop obstructing our investigation.
Now, have you ever seen him abuse that boy? No.
But the wife-- that's another story.
He hits his wife? Look, I've seen her come home all happy, and smiling, and come out of her apartment an hour later with a shiner.
There's always yelling coming from their place.
Anybody ever call the cops? Hell, yeah! Neighbors called.
Police came.
Guess what happened.
Nothing.
'Cause we all know he's got that get out of jail free card.
Hey.
Let me know where I can get one of those.
Buddy, you just got one.
JANKO: Well, I found out what the smell in the back of the car was.
Turns out Maldonado picked up a drunk last night.
Don't even tell me anymore And then (both laugh) I'll see you tomorrow? Yeah.
Okay.
Well.
(exhales) Where've you been? Haven't responded to any of my texts or calls I, uh I didn't know what to say.
About what happened in the restaurant last night? Yeah.
It just it really rocked me, Eddie.
Yeah.
It really rocked me, too.
But it didn't make me want to break off all communication with you.
I didn't mean to break off all communication, I just I had to figure out how I was feeling.
Feeling about what? I was doing my job, Josh.
Right.
Yeah.
You shot someone, and you could've been shot.
It's kind of how it works.
Would you have preferred if I had just done a little duck and cover? You mean like me? Whoa.
That's That is not what I was gonna say.
Yeah.
But that's what you're thinking.
I didn't expect anything.
I haven't been able to sleep.
That's normal.
Nothing about that's normal.
Eddie, come on.
Stop talking about it like it was.
You knew I was a cop when you started dating me.
Yeah, I knew, I guess I just I didn't realize what that meant.
What does that mean? This isn't for me, Eddie.
I don't understand.
I don't, uh I don't want to go out with you anymore.
I'm sorry.
Hey, Sarge.
Walked up on these two slugging it out.
JANKO: This one pulled a knife, but, uh, he didn't use it.
Whoa, hold it.
The dynamic duo are at it again.
We have injuries to both parties.
All right.
We'll do cross complaints on the assaults, and hit this guy with additional menacing and criminal possession of a weapon.
Wow.
Two felony collars in the past two days.
Look at you, Janko.
You're a man-eater.
Just shut your face, Maldonado.
Hey, I'm just kidding around.
Yeah, well, don't.
Take it easy, all right? Hey, you take it easy, Maldonado.
I don't need your help.
Would you back off? (chuckles) Back off! Ms.
Nejjari.
Did something happen to Malik? Malik is fine.
We just came to talk to you.
I don't think I should be talking to you.
Well, how about we talk and you just listen, okay? Where did you get this? You called 911.
That was voided.
Yeah.
But the record's still there, which means we can open the case any time we want.
Why are you doing this? You know my husband can't be charged.
Maybe we could use it to prove that Malik shouldn't be returned to his father.
I can't live without my son.
He's all I have.
Well then, you could seek asylum, and you and your son could both stay here.
You say that like it's so easy.
It can be easy.
Do you know what my husband would do to me if I went against him in this way? All the more reason.
I tried once before, to get away from him.
We could protect you.
Really? Yeah, really.
You can't arrest or charge my husband, but you're going to protect me? (sighs) (clatters) (exhales sharply) Gonna tell me what's going on? There's nothing going on.
Usually when Maldonado mouths off you put him in his place with a wink and a smile.
Is that what women are supposed to do, Jamie? Wink and smile? No.
It's It's an expression.
I just mean, you can usually defuse the situation without getting Without getting emotional? Is that what you were gonna say? I was gonna say bent out of shape.
Eddie, I'm just trying to find a way to help.
What is it, exactly, that you want to help me with, Jamie? With whatever's bothering you.
Well, you can't help me, because apparently the problem is that I don't have a penis.
Is that funny? No.
Because if I had a penis, it would be all right that I took out two armed robbers.
No.
No, no.
It wouldn't be all right.
It would be more than all right.
It would be applauded.
And I would be getting phone calls and texts from Josh, looking to hook up, because he would be so turned on that I was so heroic and brave and awesome.
But I don't have a penis, so when I take out two armed perps, it's an assault on my date's manhood.
If it's any consolation, I think that what you did was brave and heroic and awesome.
Yeah.
Because you're my partner.
You're not my boyfriend.
But if you were my boyfriend, you would feel emasculated, because chicks, we're not supposed to be the heroes, we're supposed to be the damsels in distress, waiting to be rescued by guys like you, not the ones doing the rescuing.
Well, I think some guys would be turned on by what you did.
Look.
Hey.
Let's go out for drinks, we'll throw darts at his picture (laughs) and we'll move on.
What do you say? No thanks.
We can't keep being each other's consolation prize, Jamie.
(inhales) I think I need to be alone.
Mmm, the quiche is delicious, Pop.
Thank you.
Thought real men don't each quiche.
You can call it bacon, egg and cheese pie.
Real men don't say, âReal men don't eat quiche.
â Oh, boy.
Why? What's wrong with it? It's considered sexist.
Hey.
Save the name calling for campus, not at this table.
Thank you.
You're welcome, and, actually, Real Men Don't Eat Quiche is a title of a book that pokes fun at male stereotypes like that one.
So, Dad was just being meta? Exactly.
Being what? Never mind.
JAMIE: Yeah, well, that book might be from the '80s, but stereotypes like that, I think, are alive and well.
How's that? Eddie's new boyfriend just broke up with her because of the takedown at the restaurant.
He couldn't handle the fact that she was a cop.
Didn't he already know she was a cop? JAMIE: He knew, but it's more like she's a woman who carries a gun and knows how to use it, and once he saw it actually in action it made him shrivel up.
Hmm.
Oh, but that wouldn't bother you, you're saying? No.
So, there's no line of work that if the woman you were attracted to were in, that would put you off her? Cesspool cleaner or undertaker.
(chuckles) NICKY: I'm serious.
So am I.
Ah, come on.
What? You know, this actually already happened to your Uncle Jamie only in reverse.
It did? Yeah.
With the Sidney.
Sidney.
Ah.
No.
Yeah.
Your fiancée? I never said that Oh, you did, too, after about five scotches at PJ Clarke's that night.
(laughter) Okay, can we just move on? Okay.
Your call, but it goes to your point.
Okay, yeah.
Sidney had a problem with it when I decided that I was gonna be a cop instead of a lawyer.
That's not about gender.
It's about how you see your reflection in the person you're with.
But gender can be a trigger.
Nicky, have you ever been made to feel different or less important in this family because you're female? Well no.
Good, 'cause this is and always will be an equal-opportunity family, and I will throw quiche and a hissy fit at anyone who says otherwise.
Hear, hear.
(chuckles) Anything? It's still going.
Malik gave a heartbreaking testimony.
Ay, yai, yai.
You know, when I was Malik's age, the only thing I was afraid of was striking out in Little League.
Makes you realize how lucky we were.
Yeah.
So, what are your thoughts about this whole wedding thing? Feels a little weird.
Weird, yeah.
I'll say.
The what ifs.
Joe told me he wanted to get married at Saint Patrick's Cathedral, bagpipes and the whole nine yards.
He told you that? Yeah.
Wow.
He was always so low-key.
Yeah, except for celebrations.
My birthday, he was always the first one to call.
Even before Mom and Dad? Yeah, at 6:00 a.
m.
He always wanted to beat them to it.
He used to always call me at 5:00 a.
m.
on my birthday.
I thought he was just doing it to annoy me.
Well, you guys were always competing against each other.
Yeah.
But I still wake up at 5:00 a.
m.
on every birthday.
And that's why I know the real reason you guys are being all cynical about this wedding invite.
Why? It's not just that you're jaded.
It's that it's a lot more painful if you believe it's actually sincere.
You're overthinking it.
Mm.
Look, how much longer do we got to wait on this thing, anyway? A psychologist is on the stand, testifying that Malik is too traumatized to return to his father.
(door opens) (sobbing) The judge ruled that Malik is to stay in foster care until such time as it is safe to be reunited with his parents.
That's good.
For who? You know I love you more than anything.
Then stay with me, please.
We can't, Malik.
Hey.
We'll be together soon.
In the meantime, I want you to be a very good boy for me.
Okay? Okay.
(sniffles) I hope you're happy.
I'm so sorry to bother you again.
Oh, no.
I-I'm sorry.
I haven't replied.
N no, I can only imagine what you must have thought.
I apologize for the invitation.
Apologize? Yes.
I really overstepped.
(chuckles) I Steve and I were going over the final numbers, and I realized I hadn't heard back from you, and when I told him, he blew up.
About what? That I'd asked you to the wedding.
He said it would look like you were invited to feather his nest, that you were smart, and you'd see right through that.
He said that? I know you don't know Steve, but he would never in a million years try to pull something like that.
And never in a million years would I think that.
Thank you for being kind.
I'm not being kind.
You and your family meant so much to me, and in an odd way, I guess I was just looking for your blessing.
And you have it, always.
Well, you're off the hook.
And I am so sorry to have put you in that position.
(smooches) (door closes) (sighs) The car's just up here.
Hey.
What are you two doing here? Making sure he gets on that plane, that's what we're doing here.
That won't be necessary.
This was our case.
And now we'll take it from here.
Your flight departs at 12:45 from Hassan! DANNY: Gun! Grab her! BAEZ: 5-4 detectives to Central.
Requesting a bus forthwith to ACS.
I've got a man shot.
You're under arrest for You can't arrest me.
What are you talking about? She's right.
She just shot this guy.
He's DOA.
I have diplomatic immunity.
And that bag is my diplomatic pouch.
By law, you must give it back to me.
She's right.
Can't search the bag.
Can't even charge her with anything.
You should've just beat him with a bat.
(knock on door) Yeah? Hey.
Whoa, this is a first.
Notice I knocked.
Noted.
Not as nice as the men's locker room, right? Didn't this used to be the broom closet? That figures.
Eddie, I've been thinking about what you said, and the thing is you've never been a consolation prize.
Certainly not for me.
Yeah, I know.
I was just really pissed and disappointed.
And I think you're reading this whole thing wrong.
Really? You think I'm reading this whole thing wrong? Yeah, Josh and Caroline aren't the crazy ones.
Thing is, we're the crazy ones.
We're the ones that run into danger when everyone else, all normal people, run away.
And you don't need to make apologies for who you are or what you do for a living because who you are is really great, and if Josh doesn't see that, then he doesn't deserve you.
You're right.
He doesn't.
I didn't like his car, anyway.
I don't like his beard.
Hipster written all over it.
Who wants a hot hipster with cool wheels? Not you.
No.
And that's why I got you a real consolation prize.
Whoa.
(clears throat) âI kick assâ? You do, and you should be proud that you do, and anyone who ends up being your boyfriend should, too.
(under breath): Wow.
You're never gonna wear that, are you? No.
Okay.
Do you want to go to the Fireside? Yes.
It's, uh, it's ladies night.
Would the lady like some company? She would.
Hey, thank you.
Ah, don't get all girly on me.
Oh, tough guy.
(bell tolls) We waiting for Pop? He's already here and probably mad we're late.
It's that whole theory about this guy wanting us at his wedding 'cause he's a cop is - You guys were all wrong.
- Yeah.
You're so suspicious of everyone.
It's a cop thing.
It's a Reagan thing.
Here's an idea, how about we just celebrate something good happening to somebody we care about? Come on, let's go.
Yeah.
But look at that view.
Couple more minutes won't hurt.
It is pretty, isn't it? Mm-hmm.
Especially when you consider all those who suffered for weeks on those coffin ships just to see that face.
It'd be nice if she had a smile, though, I mean, even just a small one.
I mean, think about it, if you stood there all day welcoming people and got no thanks for it, you might not smile that much either.
(radio beeps) DISPATCH: 5-4 detectives respond to St.
Daniels ER to interview male assault complainant.
5-4 detectives, copy that.
You know what else I love about her? Despite all the bad stuff she's seen, just like cops, she's still standing.
(engine starts, revs) Nice 4-4-2.
Thanks.
Three speed or four? Four.
Oh, that's the way to go.
You? Oh, I got a hurt SS 396 sitting in my dad's garage.
JOSH: What are you doing with it? Oh, I've been working on it myself last couple years.
I got a Chevelle guy if you're interested.
He's got a flatbed and everything.
Really? Good guy? Oh, the best.
No rip-off.
We should be we should be going in.
So, hey, nice talking with you.
Hey, you know, uh, Eddie and I, we're taking my sister out to dinner tonight.
She came up from Virginia to go apartment hunting.
Why don't you join us? Uh, well You um, being put on the spot.
He probably has plans, right? Who has plans on a Thursday night? Come on, it'll be great.
Okay.
Yeah? 7:00.
Blue Smoke.
All right.
Bye.
I couldn't think of an excuse fast enough.
If you don't want me to come No, of course, come.
Of course.
It's gonna be great.
(intercom rings) BAKER: Angela's here, sir.
Angela.
Hi, Frank.
(both chuckle) Wow.
Sight for sore eyes.
Mm.
Sit with me.
(sighs) Yeah.
Please.
(chuckles) You look great.
You too.
So how is everybody? Oh, all good.
I can't believe it's been, what, seven years? At least.
Almost nine years since Joe I go by there on his birthday.
Feels good to remember him.
Thank you for that, Angela.
I wanted you to know that I'm getting married.
Well, that's wonderful.
Congratulations.
I would love for you to come to the wedding.
When is it? A week from tomorrow.
Oh.
I know.
(chuckles) It's short notice.
I, um I've been carrying this around, wondering should I send it, should I drop it off? I'm glad you dropped it off in person.
The whole family is invited, if you want to extend the invitation.
I always loved that whole gang.
And we love you and we care about you, so this guy better measure up.
Does he have a name? Steve Quinones.
Detective Steve Quinones, works narcotics.
(chuckles) You're marrying a cop.
Ugh.
I swore I would never date another one after Joe.
You deserve happiness, Angela.
I mean that.
Thank you, Frank.
I should let you get back to work.
And I will share the good news and the invitation with the family.
Oh.
I'm so glad I came to see you.
Oh.
Me too.
(elevator dings, indistinct P.
A.
announcement) Excuse me, Doc.
Detective Reagan and Baez.
We're here to see the assault victim.
Yeah, Malik Nejjari.
He's right down here.
He won't tell us what happened, but he's got a fractured radius, fractured ulna, contusions on his upper body, front and back, and two fractured ribs.
This is him.
DOCTOR: Nine years old.
And he has lots of old injuries.
This has been going on for a while.
You saying he's abused? There's no other explanation.
Who called it in? DOCTOR: Third grade teacher.
Noticed he was in so much pain, he couldn't write his own name.
School called 911.
Yeah.
Hey, Malik.
Detective Reagan.
This is my partner, Detective Baez.
The shield means that, if we ask you questions, you can trust us, okay? You want to tell us what happened? You play sports, Malik? Baseball.
Second base.
Wow.
You Mets or Yankees? Mets.
Even after they choked season? You still not giving up on them, huh? They'll come back.
Oh, okay.
The doctor said you broke some bones, Malik.
Who's the best pitcher on the Mets? Syndergard.
And who's the best hitter on the Mets? Cespedes.
Oh, okay.
And who gave you these breaks and bruises? How about if you tell me who did this to you, I'll tell you who my favorite player is on the Mets.
Deal? My dad hit me.
What'd your dad hit you with? (footsteps approaching) Malik, are you okay? Why is my son here? You're his father? I am.
Great.
Why don't the both of you come outside with us? I'm not leaving my son.
I'll stay with her.
Good.
Come on.
You hit him? What's going Who are you? I'm a detective with the NYPD.
Did you hit your son? My son is none of your business.
Well, he is now.
I don't need to talk to you.
Hey! What are you What are you doing? Placing you under arrest.
You can't arrest me.
First degree assault (handcuffs click) Ah! and endangering the welfare of a child.
I have diplomatic immunity.
Do you understand? Yeah, I understand.
Ah! Blue Bloods 7x13 The One That Got Away Hassan Nejjari is a senior diplomatic attaché from Morocco.
I don't care.
Then don't care, but you do have to recognize that There's no mistaking this for a trip and fall.
That much I recognize.
GORMLEY: Doc said the kid was hit with an object.
And some of the injuries are old ones.
Look, the charges are correct.
Assault and endangering the welfare of a child.
They would be correct if we had the authority to charge him.
I know how this works, Garrett.
That doesn't mean it's the way it should work.
Sir, she's here.
Conference room.
Yeah, right on time.
Tread lightly.
(softly): Thank you.
Hello.
Commissioner.
This is Christine Sanders, Deputy Secretary of State.
Garrett Moore, Deputy Commissioner of Public Information and Sid Gormley, Special Assistant to the Commissioner.
Pleasure.
Please, sit down.
Well, we know why I'm here.
You're here because I asked you here.
Is-Is that how this is gonna go? This isn't parking tickets or a nightclub brawl.
We're talking about the welfare of a child here.
A child who is not a U.
S.
citizen, and a child whose father is a foreign diplomat.
Have you looked at the hospital report? Sadly, yes.
But it doesn't matter what the injuries are, we still have no jurisdiction to charge this man.
GORMLEY: Diplomatic immunity should not be a free pass for brutality.
And I have asked the Moroccan government to waive immunity.
And if they do, and only then, can Mr.
Nejjari be charged.
Morocco doesn't have strict laws against corporal punishment.
No.
And there is no âwhen in Romeâ clause, I'm guessing.
No.
Then what's the morning line on them handing him over? GARRETT: We're already getting flooded with calls from the press on this case.
We will handle all press inquiries.
What are the odds? They're slim, okay? Then I don't like 'em.
And what you like and don't like is not really the issue here.
It is to me and the people of this city.
That counts.
Commissioner, you must release Mr.
Nejjari and void this arrest.
This case is not your business.
When a child is in danger in my city, it is my business.
It's not my fine print.
It's international policy as sanctioned by the United States government.
Now I have reached out to Morocco and I am investigating these charges.
And I will let you know what comes of it.
How about I conduct my own investigation and let you know what comes of that? Really? You're breaking the law right now.
Oh, we're breaking the law? You did serious bodily harm to a child.
Your child! That's breaking the law.
What did you hit him with? I'd like to speak to a lawyer, and I'd like the Moroccan attaché notified immediately.
DANNY: Well.
Well, I'd like to beat the crap out of you, but guess what? Sometimes we don't always get what we want, do we? You're going to cause an international incident, Detective.
And you're gonna cause the death of a child! Write down the names and numbers of who you want called and we'll accommodate you.
Finally, someone who understands how things work.
Make no mistake, I do agree with my partner that you are a piece of crap.
Charming.
(door opens) Mr.
Nejjari, I'm Erin Reagan with the DA's office.
You will be released shortly.
Thank you.
Can I see you outside? What the hell are you doing? What the hell are you doing? You know the guy's a diplomat.
I know that that guy beat the hell out of his own son and broke four bones, and he's getting a free pass.
My boss asked me to come down here and put a lid on it, personally.
Your boss asked you to come down and defend a child abuser.
Come on, Danny, you think I'm happy about it? You think I'm not as mad as you are that we have to let this guy go? D.
A.
's office cannot prosecute a diplomat.
Really? You want I should show you the pictures of what he did to his boy? No, I want you to release him, now! You could just say that you forgot that you have an appointment.
At 7:00 on a Thursday? You just said you don't want to go.
I don't.
Would you just come? Right, because it won't be weird, me tagging along on a date with you and your boyfriend? You and I both decided that we are going to keep our relationship professional.
We did.
Then it shouldn't be weird.
It won't be.
Good.
But I am surprised you're dating someone like him.
âSomeone like himâ? What does that mean? You know, I just thought you'd go for someone more like You? A cop.
Well, in the plus and minuses, the fact that he's not a cop is a plus.
Because Because, you know, he doesn't even know what a âperpâ is.
Right.
But he likes you because Because who wouldn't? You think it's a coincidence they picked an A.
D.
A.
with the last name âReaganâ to handle this? No.
Well, it pisses me off.
Well, that's just a waste of time.
Why? Because it's not very smart to get pissed off about someone being smart about something.
I tell you what, the D.
A.
expects you to reign in Danny and me, we'll just see to it that you fail.
Yep.
So the only way I can win is to fail? Exactly.
Okay, well, guys, legally, Hassan Nejjari cannot be charged.
So, legally, we're just supposed to sit back and allow a young boy to get abused? Not on my watch.
HENRY: I always thought that diplomatic immunity was a crock.
Come on, Grandpa.
What? The whole Vienna Convention? Well, maybe not the whole convention.
Just the loopholes.
Yeah, the loopholes.
I mean, just 'cause we can't touch the father doesn't mean we can't save the boy.
Yeah, but if the D.
A.
's office refuses to prosecute âRefusesâ implies a choice.
Well? Our child-protective services are not bound by international law.
Is that true? I'm not sure.
Has it been tested? I don't know.
I'll find out.
Good.
Well, Ranger home game, anyone? Hold on, wait, we've got one more thing.
Guess who stopped by my office? Angela Ferraro.
She asked us to her wedding next weekend.
Joe's Angela? Yeah.
And you know what? She's marrying a cop.
I'm so happy for her.
Me, too.
Such a nice girl.
Next weekend, huh? What? Well, it's just that this invite, you know, it doesn't look like an invite to a shotgun wedding, does it? Looks very well-planned.
So why the last-second invite for us? Maybe 'cause it's not her idea.
Didn't exactly wanna go there, but she is marrying a cop.
So? So it would be a major coup for a regular old cop to have the P.
C.
come to his wedding.
Well I mean, he could take photos with all the Reagans and the P.
C.
, and post 'em online, looking like we're all buddies.
I'm sure his bosses would sit up and take notice.
You really think so? I kinda hate myself for thinking it No, it crossed my mind.
It actually didn't just cross it, it, uh, pretty well stuck there.
You really think we're being played? BARNES: What did your father hit you with? (monitor beeping) Malik? You know, Malik, I never did tell you who my favorite Met player is, did I? No.
It's David Wright.
Me, too.
Yeah? You know, it's okay for you to answer our questions.
What did your father hit you with? My baseball bat.
BARNES: And why did he hit you? MALIK: I forgot to put the milk away.
Am I in trouble? No.
You're never in trouble for telling the truth, buddy.
(blues music playing) Hello.
Good evening.
Hi.
Right this way.
Nice to see you.
You, too.
Jamie.
This is my sister, Caroline.
Hi.
Caroline, this is Eddie.
It's so nice to finally meet you.
Eddie! Have a seat.
Got appetizers, drinks coming, all that.
Nice.
So, we, uh, we heard you're in town looking for apartments.
Yes.
I cannot believe how expensive it is.
I could rent a whole house in Virginia for what an apartment here costs.
Yeah, well, where are you looking? Park Slope and Tribeca.
Well, no wonder.
Those are two of the priciest neighborhoods.
Okay, so where should I look, then? I live in Brooklyn Heights.
Ooh, that's, like, actually also very expensive.
You should maybe think about, um, Jersey.
Jersey? Jersey? Okay, dump the whole register into the bag, now! (gunshots, screaming) Shut up! ROBBER: Put it in the bag! Do it now! Get over there! Move! (patrons screaming) Fill the bag! Stay down and you won't get hurt! Come on, hurry up! Cell phones on the table! Eddie, you got your gun? I don't leave home without it.
(shrieks) I said cell phones on the table! (chuckling maniacally) Okay, you go left, I'll go right.
Go.
Get down, Eddie.
Stay down.
ROBBER: Put it in the bag! Don't look at me.
ROBBER: We don't have all day! Come on! Hurry it up! Come on! Stop! Oh, my God! Get back! Please don't kill me! I said get back! Police.
Don't move! Drop the gun right now! (gunshot, patrons screaming) (screams) (panicked shouting) Keep your hands where I can see 'em! Behind your back! Don't fight me.
ROBBER 2: Why'd you do that? We just wanted some money.
Jamie! Are you okay? You good? (exhaling): Yeah.
30 innocent civilians in a small area, two perps with loaded weapons, and you two successfully apprehended them with no serious injuries.
You did everything right.
Thank you, sir.
I'm gonna write this up.
Recommend you both for a commendation.
Just doing our jobs, boss.
Good work, officers.
Yeah.
Good, man.
Oh, my God, you guys were amazing.
I mean, really, really amazing.
It was nothing, really.
You took those two robbers down like it was clockwork.
I've never seen anything like that.
Are you guys okay? I mean, my hands are they're still shaking.
I was I was so scared.
I had no idea what was gonna happen.
Hey, trust me, we were scared, too.
You would never know.
Well, I feel like I could use a drink.
Me, too.
I, uh, see, I got to be up early for work tomorrow, so it's getting kind of late.
Sorry, I didn't mean, like, right now.
We actually have to stay for a couple more hours and do some interviews - Another time.
- Absolutely.
All right.
Okay.
So I'll be talking to you.
Oh It was so nice to meet you.
- Take care.
I mean, thank you.
- You, too.
- And great job.
- Have a good night.
You too.
All right.
Huh.
Welcome back to One PP, Deputy Secretary.
What is this? Well, every so often, I get off on the wrong foot, especially with my colleagues from Washington Please.
I'm not your colleague.
So I try to show a little extra courtesy if and when we meet again.
And how much does that actually work for you? Well, it's the thought that counts.
Thank you, Baker.
I tried.
What do you what? This case is not in your jurisdiction, Commissioner.
This city is my jurisdiction.
I know that you were behind the push to get Child Services involved.
To rescue a little boy.
To interfere in diplomatic protocol.
For the sake of that boy.
Cut the crap! It's not crap, Ms.
Sanders.
You remanded Malik into foster care? No, our system did.
And now State has a problem with the Moroccan government.
That's your business, deal with it.
Don't come crying to me.
I am dealing with it.
There is a hearing set up for family court.
They will never uphold keeping the son of a foreign diplomat in foster care, and you are going to stay out of it.
I don't take orders from you.
These laws are in place for a reason.
I do not make the laws, I uphold them.
And that is exactly what you are supposed to do, too.
The NYPD Patrol Guide is 2,200 pages.
So? So it lays out every single scenario that could possibly happen on the job, to set protocol.
This is not police business.
That is exactly what it is.
A minor in the confines of our precincts is being serially abused by an adult who is charged with his care.
Is that as wide as your thinking can go? Your precinct? Well, it is a much bigger world out there, Commissioner Reagan.
I think your work is done here.
You're throwing me out? I'm asking you to leave.
This is one of those ones where we're going to have to agree to disagree.
Well, I'm not agreeing to anything.
Then please, just leave.
(door opens, closes) (phone chiming) Who keeps texting you? Uh, Caroline.
Oh She interested in you? I don't know.
I haven't known her that long yet.
But I think the incident last night really got to her.
Got to her how? Well, we deal with this stuff all the time, but people like that, like, Josh and his sister, you know, they're pretty shocked when they see someone pull out a gun and threaten people.
It's not like they saw anything.
They were too busy cowering under the table.
What did Josh say about it? Gotten radio silence from him since it happened.
Did you reach out to him? Twice.
Oh.
Oh? What does that mean? Uh, maybe he's busy, or maybe he's just processing the whole thing.
Caroline doesn't seem to be having a problem processing.
She just thinks that you're a hero.
I'm sure Josh thinks you're a hero, too.
Then why haven't I heard from him? Because he's a guy.
It's a little intimidating, as a guy, to watch your date pull out a gun and shoot an armed perp right in front of you.
It's not like he was trying to help, or or get involved or anything.
He had no gun and no training, Eddie.
What did you want him to do? Swoon over me, like Caroline seems to be doing with you.
There's a good chance Child Services is gonna release him back to his parents.
Wait.
Hold on.
You came all the way down here just to tell us that? Well, right now, the only person saying Malik is being abused is Malik.
Uh, hello.
And the history of injuries.
A history of injuries can't be attributed to the father without some corroboration.
So, we got to find somebody to confirm Malik's story? Otherwise the parents can say he sustained those injuries in any number of ways, - I get it.
and because Child Services can't enter the apartment I get it! We could talk to the school.
School's always gonna side with Child Protective Services.
The only person left is the mother.
Coming from that culture, you really think she'll contradict her husband? No.
But what other choice do we have? Thanks.
Excuse me.
Detectives Reagan and Baez.
Need to ask you a few questions about the Nejjari family.
You know what makes a good doorman? You hold the door? And hail cabs, and collect packages.
And keep your mouth shut.
Well, you know what makes a good cop? Getting people to talk when they don't want want to.
Look, I've only been here six months, buddy, I don't want to lose my job.
Hey, buddy.
We don't want to lose the nine-year-old kid who was almost beaten to death by his father.
Malik's a nice kid.
A nice kid with bruises, welts and fractures all over his body.
Hey, what do you want from me? What do we want from you? We want you to stop obstructing our investigation.
Now, have you ever seen him abuse that boy? No.
But the wife-- that's another story.
He hits his wife? Look, I've seen her come home all happy, and smiling, and come out of her apartment an hour later with a shiner.
There's always yelling coming from their place.
Anybody ever call the cops? Hell, yeah! Neighbors called.
Police came.
Guess what happened.
Nothing.
'Cause we all know he's got that get out of jail free card.
Hey.
Let me know where I can get one of those.
Buddy, you just got one.
JANKO: Well, I found out what the smell in the back of the car was.
Turns out Maldonado picked up a drunk last night.
Don't even tell me anymore And then (both laugh) I'll see you tomorrow? Yeah.
Okay.
Well.
(exhales) Where've you been? Haven't responded to any of my texts or calls I, uh I didn't know what to say.
About what happened in the restaurant last night? Yeah.
It just it really rocked me, Eddie.
Yeah.
It really rocked me, too.
But it didn't make me want to break off all communication with you.
I didn't mean to break off all communication, I just I had to figure out how I was feeling.
Feeling about what? I was doing my job, Josh.
Right.
Yeah.
You shot someone, and you could've been shot.
It's kind of how it works.
Would you have preferred if I had just done a little duck and cover? You mean like me? Whoa.
That's That is not what I was gonna say.
Yeah.
But that's what you're thinking.
I didn't expect anything.
I haven't been able to sleep.
That's normal.
Nothing about that's normal.
Eddie, come on.
Stop talking about it like it was.
You knew I was a cop when you started dating me.
Yeah, I knew, I guess I just I didn't realize what that meant.
What does that mean? This isn't for me, Eddie.
I don't understand.
I don't, uh I don't want to go out with you anymore.
I'm sorry.
Hey, Sarge.
Walked up on these two slugging it out.
JANKO: This one pulled a knife, but, uh, he didn't use it.
Whoa, hold it.
The dynamic duo are at it again.
We have injuries to both parties.
All right.
We'll do cross complaints on the assaults, and hit this guy with additional menacing and criminal possession of a weapon.
Wow.
Two felony collars in the past two days.
Look at you, Janko.
You're a man-eater.
Just shut your face, Maldonado.
Hey, I'm just kidding around.
Yeah, well, don't.
Take it easy, all right? Hey, you take it easy, Maldonado.
I don't need your help.
Would you back off? (chuckles) Back off! Ms.
Nejjari.
Did something happen to Malik? Malik is fine.
We just came to talk to you.
I don't think I should be talking to you.
Well, how about we talk and you just listen, okay? Where did you get this? You called 911.
That was voided.
Yeah.
But the record's still there, which means we can open the case any time we want.
Why are you doing this? You know my husband can't be charged.
Maybe we could use it to prove that Malik shouldn't be returned to his father.
I can't live without my son.
He's all I have.
Well then, you could seek asylum, and you and your son could both stay here.
You say that like it's so easy.
It can be easy.
Do you know what my husband would do to me if I went against him in this way? All the more reason.
I tried once before, to get away from him.
We could protect you.
Really? Yeah, really.
You can't arrest or charge my husband, but you're going to protect me? (sighs) (clatters) (exhales sharply) Gonna tell me what's going on? There's nothing going on.
Usually when Maldonado mouths off you put him in his place with a wink and a smile.
Is that what women are supposed to do, Jamie? Wink and smile? No.
It's It's an expression.
I just mean, you can usually defuse the situation without getting Without getting emotional? Is that what you were gonna say? I was gonna say bent out of shape.
Eddie, I'm just trying to find a way to help.
What is it, exactly, that you want to help me with, Jamie? With whatever's bothering you.
Well, you can't help me, because apparently the problem is that I don't have a penis.
Is that funny? No.
Because if I had a penis, it would be all right that I took out two armed robbers.
No.
No, no.
It wouldn't be all right.
It would be more than all right.
It would be applauded.
And I would be getting phone calls and texts from Josh, looking to hook up, because he would be so turned on that I was so heroic and brave and awesome.
But I don't have a penis, so when I take out two armed perps, it's an assault on my date's manhood.
If it's any consolation, I think that what you did was brave and heroic and awesome.
Yeah.
Because you're my partner.
You're not my boyfriend.
But if you were my boyfriend, you would feel emasculated, because chicks, we're not supposed to be the heroes, we're supposed to be the damsels in distress, waiting to be rescued by guys like you, not the ones doing the rescuing.
Well, I think some guys would be turned on by what you did.
Look.
Hey.
Let's go out for drinks, we'll throw darts at his picture (laughs) and we'll move on.
What do you say? No thanks.
We can't keep being each other's consolation prize, Jamie.
(inhales) I think I need to be alone.
Mmm, the quiche is delicious, Pop.
Thank you.
Thought real men don't each quiche.
You can call it bacon, egg and cheese pie.
Real men don't say, âReal men don't eat quiche.
â Oh, boy.
Why? What's wrong with it? It's considered sexist.
Hey.
Save the name calling for campus, not at this table.
Thank you.
You're welcome, and, actually, Real Men Don't Eat Quiche is a title of a book that pokes fun at male stereotypes like that one.
So, Dad was just being meta? Exactly.
Being what? Never mind.
JAMIE: Yeah, well, that book might be from the '80s, but stereotypes like that, I think, are alive and well.
How's that? Eddie's new boyfriend just broke up with her because of the takedown at the restaurant.
He couldn't handle the fact that she was a cop.
Didn't he already know she was a cop? JAMIE: He knew, but it's more like she's a woman who carries a gun and knows how to use it, and once he saw it actually in action it made him shrivel up.
Hmm.
Oh, but that wouldn't bother you, you're saying? No.
So, there's no line of work that if the woman you were attracted to were in, that would put you off her? Cesspool cleaner or undertaker.
(chuckles) NICKY: I'm serious.
So am I.
Ah, come on.
What? You know, this actually already happened to your Uncle Jamie only in reverse.
It did? Yeah.
With the Sidney.
Sidney.
Ah.
No.
Yeah.
Your fiancée? I never said that Oh, you did, too, after about five scotches at PJ Clarke's that night.
(laughter) Okay, can we just move on? Okay.
Your call, but it goes to your point.
Okay, yeah.
Sidney had a problem with it when I decided that I was gonna be a cop instead of a lawyer.
That's not about gender.
It's about how you see your reflection in the person you're with.
But gender can be a trigger.
Nicky, have you ever been made to feel different or less important in this family because you're female? Well no.
Good, 'cause this is and always will be an equal-opportunity family, and I will throw quiche and a hissy fit at anyone who says otherwise.
Hear, hear.
(chuckles) Anything? It's still going.
Malik gave a heartbreaking testimony.
Ay, yai, yai.
You know, when I was Malik's age, the only thing I was afraid of was striking out in Little League.
Makes you realize how lucky we were.
Yeah.
So, what are your thoughts about this whole wedding thing? Feels a little weird.
Weird, yeah.
I'll say.
The what ifs.
Joe told me he wanted to get married at Saint Patrick's Cathedral, bagpipes and the whole nine yards.
He told you that? Yeah.
Wow.
He was always so low-key.
Yeah, except for celebrations.
My birthday, he was always the first one to call.
Even before Mom and Dad? Yeah, at 6:00 a.
m.
He always wanted to beat them to it.
He used to always call me at 5:00 a.
m.
on my birthday.
I thought he was just doing it to annoy me.
Well, you guys were always competing against each other.
Yeah.
But I still wake up at 5:00 a.
m.
on every birthday.
And that's why I know the real reason you guys are being all cynical about this wedding invite.
Why? It's not just that you're jaded.
It's that it's a lot more painful if you believe it's actually sincere.
You're overthinking it.
Mm.
Look, how much longer do we got to wait on this thing, anyway? A psychologist is on the stand, testifying that Malik is too traumatized to return to his father.
(door opens) (sobbing) The judge ruled that Malik is to stay in foster care until such time as it is safe to be reunited with his parents.
That's good.
For who? You know I love you more than anything.
Then stay with me, please.
We can't, Malik.
Hey.
We'll be together soon.
In the meantime, I want you to be a very good boy for me.
Okay? Okay.
(sniffles) I hope you're happy.
I'm so sorry to bother you again.
Oh, no.
I-I'm sorry.
I haven't replied.
N no, I can only imagine what you must have thought.
I apologize for the invitation.
Apologize? Yes.
I really overstepped.
(chuckles) I Steve and I were going over the final numbers, and I realized I hadn't heard back from you, and when I told him, he blew up.
About what? That I'd asked you to the wedding.
He said it would look like you were invited to feather his nest, that you were smart, and you'd see right through that.
He said that? I know you don't know Steve, but he would never in a million years try to pull something like that.
And never in a million years would I think that.
Thank you for being kind.
I'm not being kind.
You and your family meant so much to me, and in an odd way, I guess I was just looking for your blessing.
And you have it, always.
Well, you're off the hook.
And I am so sorry to have put you in that position.
(smooches) (door closes) (sighs) The car's just up here.
Hey.
What are you two doing here? Making sure he gets on that plane, that's what we're doing here.
That won't be necessary.
This was our case.
And now we'll take it from here.
Your flight departs at 12:45 from Hassan! DANNY: Gun! Grab her! BAEZ: 5-4 detectives to Central.
Requesting a bus forthwith to ACS.
I've got a man shot.
You're under arrest for You can't arrest me.
What are you talking about? She's right.
She just shot this guy.
He's DOA.
I have diplomatic immunity.
And that bag is my diplomatic pouch.
By law, you must give it back to me.
She's right.
Can't search the bag.
Can't even charge her with anything.
You should've just beat him with a bat.
(knock on door) Yeah? Hey.
Whoa, this is a first.
Notice I knocked.
Noted.
Not as nice as the men's locker room, right? Didn't this used to be the broom closet? That figures.
Eddie, I've been thinking about what you said, and the thing is you've never been a consolation prize.
Certainly not for me.
Yeah, I know.
I was just really pissed and disappointed.
And I think you're reading this whole thing wrong.
Really? You think I'm reading this whole thing wrong? Yeah, Josh and Caroline aren't the crazy ones.
Thing is, we're the crazy ones.
We're the ones that run into danger when everyone else, all normal people, run away.
And you don't need to make apologies for who you are or what you do for a living because who you are is really great, and if Josh doesn't see that, then he doesn't deserve you.
You're right.
He doesn't.
I didn't like his car, anyway.
I don't like his beard.
Hipster written all over it.
Who wants a hot hipster with cool wheels? Not you.
No.
And that's why I got you a real consolation prize.
Whoa.
(clears throat) âI kick assâ? You do, and you should be proud that you do, and anyone who ends up being your boyfriend should, too.
(under breath): Wow.
You're never gonna wear that, are you? No.
Okay.
Do you want to go to the Fireside? Yes.
It's, uh, it's ladies night.
Would the lady like some company? She would.
Hey, thank you.
Ah, don't get all girly on me.
Oh, tough guy.
(bell tolls) We waiting for Pop? He's already here and probably mad we're late.
It's that whole theory about this guy wanting us at his wedding 'cause he's a cop is - You guys were all wrong.
- Yeah.
You're so suspicious of everyone.
It's a cop thing.
It's a Reagan thing.
Here's an idea, how about we just celebrate something good happening to somebody we care about? Come on, let's go.