Family Ties (1982) s07e13 Episode Script

Everyone? Guess what I have a new passion.
I want you to see the poster I'm going to hang in my room.
Oh, teen idols sure have changed.
Isn't it amazing? It's the human body.
Thank God for skin.
What is this for, honey? Oh, I'm taking an evening course in Shiatsu massage at school.
Yeah, it's a special this week at Grant.
If you take Shiatsu, you can drop history, English and math.
What's Shiatsu? Shiatsu is a process of pressing certain nerve points and releasing tension, thus allowing bodily energies to flow freely.
Just don't get them all over the floor.
You see, the human body is divided up into meridians, which correspond with each organ and muscle group.
For instance, the foot alone contains the pressure points that affect every one of the major organs.
Hmm.
Let me see that.
Oh, darn.
Think I just stubbed my kidney.
It's amazing how it works.
- Here, let me show you, Alex.
- Oh, I can see it now.
"Alex Keaton killed by Vulcan nerve pinch.
" Oh, no, this can't be.
What is it, Mom? Well, it says here that on the corner of Oak and Clinton, they're considering building another mini-mall.
What? When? God, look at that she's got escalators in her eyes.
Oak and Clinton? Isn't that where your Cavanaugh Building is? Yes, it is.
Now it says they're gonna tear it down and put up another one of those obnoxious mini-malls.
Mother.
Oh, please, Mallory.
The last thing that neighborhood needs is another bunch of silly stores.
There are no silly stores.
There are only silly shoppers.
Look, Mallory, I have nothing against malls per se.
It's just the Cavanaugh Building is very special to me.
It's the first building I ever designed.
And, boy, well, you never forget your first building.
Are they gonna tear it down? Well, it sure seems like it.
Well, look at the bright side, Mom.
At least it didn't fall down on its own.
Look, Alex, I don't expect you to understand my feelings about this.
But this is not just a building.
This is part of our family history.
Gosh, you-you were only two years old.
Mallory was just born.
It was a very special time.
Elyse to everything turn, turn, turn there is a season.
Turn, turn, turn.
- And a time to every - Oh, shut up.
The whole point of Shiatsu is to help you relax so you can realize your fullest potential.
Okay, now we're gonna work on your spinal meridian, and align your cervical vertebrae.
The square root of 1,595 equals 39.
93745.
I can't believe that came out of him.
I can't believe he had it in him in the first place.
Doesn't that feel great, Nick? You see, I cleared a path for energy to flow right to your brain.
That must've been quite some blockage there, too.
Alex, look at you you're a ball of tension.
- Hey - Here, let me work on you.
Get away from me, okay? I know the square root of 1,595.
Look at your posture.
Alex, don't hunch.
- Lower your shoulders.
- Ah No, lower.
Alex, lower.
Ma Mal, if they were any lower, I could use them as hips.
Alex, you need an adjustment.
So do you, Mal.
Only yours would require a few thousand volts of electricity.
Alex, come on, I'm getting better at this.
- Just let me do it.
- All right.
Okay, okay, okay just to humor you.
Go ahead, Subaru me.
Shiatsu.
God bless you.
All right, okay.
Okay What the hell was that? See? Don't you feel more relaxed? Mal, I I I can't straighten up, Mal.
- Oops.
- Oops? Hey, hey, hey, hey, come here, Alex.
I'll fix you up, huh? No, no, no, no.
No, I'll straighten myself up, okay? There, I feel fabulous.
I'm fine.
Who's next? No, thank you, Mal.
I had Shiatsu for lunch.
- Hi, guys.
- Hey, Dad, how about you? How about a little Shiatsu? Um Well, Mal, I, um Oh, come on, Dad, look what it did for Nick.
Thank you, I'll pass.
Oh, good, you're all here.
Take a look at this I want to show you something adorable.
- Oh, no, baby pictures.
- Oh, Mom, come on.
- Nick's here.
- Mom, I know how precious I was Kids, kids.
If your mom wants to pour over pictures of her children, let her.
It's part of being the loving, nurturing and devoted mom that she is.
Elyse, these are pictures of buildings.
Aren't they cute? Look, this is the Cavanaugh Building when it was only one week old.
That's the Cavanaugh Building during its first summer.
Isn't it having fun? Here it is at the circus, eating cotton candy.
Mom, how far along is this plan to build the mall? Well, it seems to be in the formative stages.
They still have to get the permit and the approval of the zoning board.
Wait a minute, if they haven't got the permits yet, it means there's still a chance to fight this thing.
You know, back in the '60s - Oh, back in the '60s - Oh, Dad, come on.
Back in the '60s, by now, we'd be all organized to stage a protest.
We'd make the zoning board listen to the people of this community instead of the money-grubbing, blood-sucking real estate profiteers who want to ravage our city streets just to turn a fast buck.
Hey, do I talk like that about your friends? Elyse, we can't let them push us around.
After all, who needs another mini-mall? Dad, do I talk that way about your friends? Okay, everybody, are you in? - Yeah.
- Hey, for you, Mom.
It's my baby.
My beautiful baby.
Elyse, please.
Your hurting the children's feelings.
Oh, well, you guys, too.
Oh, here.
Come here, look, all of you, look, look, right here.
Look at this brick, huh, huh? It's a honey, Mom, real brickish.
No, you have to look closer.
There's something scratched on it.
Oh, "To Steven, Alex and Mallory with love, Elyse, 1970.
" What about me and Jen, Mom? Well, you two hadn't been born yet.
You have a chisel on you, Mom? Hey, wait a minute, there's more.
Uh, "I dedicate this building "to you, my loving family.
May its structure be as strong and as sound" Hi.
Brick inspector.
How are you? These are fine.
These are good.
Solid, nice tone.
Back to work.
Thanks.
How can they put a mini-mall in here? It'd just be so wrong to tear this building down.
There's still people working in there, you know.
Well, I'm assuming they'll be asked to leave before the ball goes crashing through the wall.
It's not going to come crashing through the wall.
We're going to save this building, right, guys? Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.
Hey.
I'm sorry I'm late, you guys, but I was picketing in front of the wrong building.
But you'll be happy to know they are not going to knock down Sisters of Mercy Hospital.
Hey, Nick.
- Hey, buddy, how you doing? - Come on.
Let's get picketing.
Let's get a chant going.
Dad, why don't you kick it off, and if it's not too embarrassing, we'll all join in.
Okay, all right.
How about, uh, "Cavanaugh yes, mall no"? No, I can't say that, Dad.
Well, do what you can, honey.
Hey, uh, did you want to help save the Cavanaugh Building? Actually, I'm here to knock down the Cavanaugh Building.
Dave McPhee, McPhee Brothers Demolition.
Who are you? I'm the architect of this building.
Oh, hey, the architect.
Uh, listen, what do you think's the best way to level this baby in a hurry? Hey, look, you're not gonna level anything.
The demolition permits haven't been issued yet.
Here you are.
I just want you to know my family and I are gonna fight you every inch of the way on this.
Hey, don't tell me.
Dad, Dad, take it easy.
You know, this guy could blow us to bits.
If you got a problem, I'd hurry up - and take care of it.
- Well, you bet we will.
I'll tell you, we're gonna be out here every day - until we win this thing.
- I understand.
Oh, if you picket on Friday, I'd leave a little more space between you for the, uh, wrecking ball to swing through.
Come on, guys, let's do it.
Cavanaugh yes, mall no.
Cavanaugh yes, mall no.
Cavanaugh yes, mall no.
Alex, go ahead and laugh if you want.
We are on a higher psychic plain than you are.
Our yin is in perfect alignment with our yang.
Can you say that? Our yin is in perfect alignment with our yang.
Now, look out or I'll step on your liver meridians.
Alex, come on, give me one more chance to fix you.
Fix me? You know I was just offered the lead in the new production of The Hunchback of Notre Dame? Come on, Alex, I probably just overstimulated your pancreas.
Let me have a look.
Get away from my pancreas.
It's the only thing I got left that works.
Alex, you're being Look, your legs are working.
- You're being ridiculous.
- Keep your hands in your pockets, Mallory! What are we doing? We're basking in the afterglow.
Of what? Of Shiatsu.
I didn't have any.
Well, you can just enjoy being here with me.
I think I'll get up now.
Hey, you guys, help me hold him down so I can realign his vertebrae! You will not be happy until I'm one large knot! No, Alex, you're being ridiculous.
Now, just lay down, and everything will be fine! - Hi, honey.
- Hi.
Do you know that every day, when I go to work, I drive two and a half miles out of my way just to go by the Cavanaugh Building? I cannot believe that one day it will not be there anymore.
Try to look on the bright side, Elyse.
No matter what, it will live on in our memories.
Oh, Steven, it's not the same.
How would you feel if someone wanted to destroy your first documentary? Well, it's not like it hasn't been suggested.
What's the use of worrying about it? It's done, hmm? Might as well just put it out of my mind.
Next time I go to work, I'll just drive by the mini-mall, wave hi to Mallory and go on my way.
Come on.
Don't be so negative, Elyse.
There must be something we can do.
Alex, I'm trying to convince your mother that the Cavanaugh Building can be saved.
She thinks it's hopeless.
Help me out here.
It's hopeless, Dad.
Look, there are certain fiscal realities here, okay? I mean, a guy owns a building, he can do whatever he wants with it regardless of other people's feelings.
I mean, that's the beauty of capitalism.
That's what makes this country such a delight for the wealthy.
Thanks for dropping by, son.
Wait a minute.
Alex, Alex, thank you.
You just made me realize that there is hope.
Well, you must have completely misunderstood everything I said.
No, no, no.
You said that the owner can do anything he wants.
All I have to do is confront that owner on a professional basis.
You know, I will appeal to his his aesthetic sense, his his spirit of civic pride, his desire to be a responsible member of the Columbus business community.
And then and then I will convince him that there's more to life than making money.
Let's get the old wrecking ball warmed up.
Yes, Miss Clark.
Mr.
Willis, there's an Elyse Keaton out here.
She says she was the architect on the Cavanaugh Building and she wants to see you.
Right.
Tell her I'm not here.
Mr.
Willis, I realize you're not in, but I would like to see you.
Get rid of her.
Ms.
Keaton! Oh, Ms.
Keaton! Pleasure to see you.
Look, Mr.
Willis, we both know why I'm here, so let's dispense with the niceties, okay? I'll put my cards on the table.
I do not want my building destroyed, but I'm willing to compromise.
- You're willing to compromise? - Mmm.
What a break for me.
That's why I have designed the Cavanaugh Consumer Complex.
Now, in the grandest tradition of urban rehabilitation, we preserve the external structure while inside inside, Mr.
Willis, is the mini-mall of your dreams.
Thus we maintain the stylistic integrity and the historical essence of the neighborhood while profitable enterprise takes place within.
Now, I hope you like my idea, Mr.
Willis.
It's my final offer.
Oh, good, that means I won't have to hear another one.
Okay, how about this? The world's first helium-filled mini-mall.
It it hovers directly over the Cavanaugh Building, it's collapsible on the holidays, and it's the first mall that could be entered in the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade, huh? What do you think? I think you're a lunatic.
Ms.
Keaton, it's a simple matter of dollars and cents.
I own the building.
If I tear it down and build a mini-mall, I'll make a lot of money.
But tearing down a beautiful building to put up just another mini-mall Just another mini-mall? The Dayton Stop and Grab, my first mini-mall.
My baby.
It's a landmark in the mini-mall world.
So, how would you feel if someone tore it down? Already did.
To put up the Dayton Park and Pick.
Well, the Dayton Park and Pick looks just like the Stop and Snatch.
That's the Stop and Grab.
That's the Stop and Snatch in Steubenville.
How can you tell? They all look just alike.
I know.
I find that very comforting.
Personally, I don't know how you can put these things up all the way across the country without some sense of self-loathing.
Come again? Architecturally, they they are a real blight on the landscape.
I mean, you are turning America from Maine to California into one huge mini-mall.
Doesn't that bother you? Only if I don't build them.
I love the certainty and security mini-malls provide.
I love knowing any time, day or night, that I can get film developed, rent a video or get a Slurpee.
Can you do that at the Cavanaugh Building? Oh, Mr.
Willis, the Cavanaugh isn't just a building.
It's-it's it's like a family.
Look, how would you feel if someone came in here and destroyed this beautiful picture of your family, huh? That's not my family.
What, they came with the frame? No, I didn't like the family that came with the frame.
I had to buy another frame to get these people.
Look, uh, I cannot begin to tell you what to do with your building.
Uh, I just thought you should understand that someone sweated and-and anguished and lost sleep trying to create this building.
Uh, please save this building.
This is the embodiment of my dreams.
Help me, Mr.
Willis.
Save the Cavanaugh Building.
Believe me, deep down, I just know you understand what I'm talking about.
Did you ever get an itch in the back of your head that you just couldn't quite reach? You okay? Yeah.
Just thinking about other things we could have done, but it's too late now.
We did all we could.
We did everything but chain ourselves to the building.
Oh, yeah, now you think of it.
Elyse, look at it this way.
You have all these other buildings.
You know, I remember when I designed the Cavanaugh Building.
I was so naive.
You know, I think I only gave them one proposal.
I couldn't believe that they'd want to see anything else.
They didn't.
When they gave me the go-ahead, I I was so excited, I just screamed, and I hugged Mr.
Cavanaugh so hard, his monocle popped off.
I remember that day.
I was home with Alex and Mallory in that little apartment - we had on Rosewood Avenue.
- Mm-hmm.
You came through the door with such a gleam in your eye.
The only other time I had seen that look was when you thought you'd spotted Bob Dylan at the International House of Pancakes.
Was that 20 years ago? Seems like yesterday.
Also seems just like a thousand years ago.
When did it all go so fast? I know what you mean.
Who would have ever thought we'd be sitting here in 1989, house of our own, five children? Four.
Right, four children.
Nice jobs, money in the bank, two good cars.
Yeah.
God, we're square.
Well, you are.
You know, the worst part is that I feel I worked so hard, you know? I I-I've tried to make my mark in the world to create something that said "Elyse Keaton was here.
" Then they're gonna tear it down.
Seems like pretty soon, there's not gonna be any record of who I used to be.
I'll remember.
I look at you, and I still see that same wild-eyed young woman who ran into that apartment with the news of her first building.
And then then I see the 19-year-old girl I fell in love with.
Then the young woman who gave birth to our beautiful children.
And then more mature, older, wiser.
Older.
Uh, watch it, buster.
Anyway, you are all these people to your family, and we don't need any buildings to remind us of that.
You have made your mark here.
Come in.
Mom, I have a present for you.
- What? - What is it? - I'll give you a hint.
It's from your building.
A a brick! - How'd you know? - Oh! 'Cause I wanted one so badly.
Thank you.
I love it.
All those birthdays, I've been running out and wasting money on perfume.
Mom, we found the brick with the writing on it.
"I dedicate this to you, my loving family.
" Thank you so much.
Oh, Cavanaugh Building's demolished, huh? I'm sorry, Mom.
I will never shop at that mall.
Ever, ever, ever! Honey, I-I think that's really too great a sacrifice to ask you to make.
I'm not setting foot there.
Hey, hey, take it easy, Mal.
You're going to become a a mall martyr.
I want to thank you so much for trying to help me.
Thank you, sweetheart.
You guys were great.
I I never dreamed we'd all be picketing together.
On on the same side, that that is.
Mom, you've been through a lot.
I'm sure you're tremendously tense.
Let me Shiatsu you.
No, no! Mom, don't! Sit, Ubu, sit.
Good dog.