Magnum, P.I. (1980) s07e13 Episode Script
Autumn Warrior
These survivalist trips can get pretty tough, Higgins.
Just because they're at the prison farm doesn't make them hardened criminals, Magnum.
Higgins, please answer.
You're in big trouble.
Higgins! Doug, shoot! Look, we can't leave Higgins here alive.
Higgins! Thomas! Shoot him! Shoot him, Clint! Shoot! I had become separated from my unit during a skirmish, and I had spent nine days alone in the jungle, sustaining myself on the small creatures that I was able to entrap ever mindful of the fact that I was the hunted, as well as the hunter.
On this particular morning, my predators had moved to within a few yards of my camp.
And I knew that an unfortunate member of the enemy patrol had tripped one of my many spring-trap devices.
As they moved ever closer to me, I plotted my last attempt at survival, knowing that cunning rarely prevails over firepower.
Fortunately, I was not wounded seriously, and And you overpowered the patrol leader, held the three men captive until Allied forces took the area.
I'm sorry, Higgins.
I really have to run, and I really didn't want to miss that story.
You guys enjoy your trip.
When did you say you were due back, Del? It's usually late Monday morning.
Usually? That means you've had to come back earlier sometimes? Of course not.
Why wouldn't he? Well, these survivalist trips can get pretty tough, Higgins, even for kids.
No problem there.
These guys are pretty tough themselves.
Well, I kind of presumed they were, considering their present address.
Just because they're at the prison farm doesn't make them hardened criminals, Magnum.
Mr.
Haynes has certainly counseled the boys long enough to know the best ones.
Higgins, I think it's a good program.
I think it's great that you're volunteering to go along, and don't worry about anything here.
I mean, I couldn't even get in touch with you if there was an emergency here.
So I guess you'll just have to trust me to handle things.
Well, if it were a real emergency, you could reach us.
I always take a shortwave along.
You do? That means that you could get off the island earlier if Magnum, what is going on? Going on? This obsession with my itinerary.
Is something happening this weekend of which I'm unaware? Well, I'm not sure.
Look, Higgins, when was the last time you were in a survival situation? I see.
You're suggesting that I may no longer be capable of such strenuous activity? I'm suggesting that anybody can forget how tough it is and maybe even forget a few of the techniques.
I haven't forgotten anything! Where in God's name is my knife? Your knife? This knife? Is this what you're looking for, Higgins? You know, you had this with you the other day when you came to tell me about the trip, but you left it on the mantle.
I guess you forgot it! The shortwave call letters? N-6 Del, please! Mr.
Higgins, it's getting late, and we still have to go get the boys.
N-6-D-V-Z.
Call only in the event of a global war.
Oh, I'll wait for you to call in the event that you're hurt or sick or just overly tired.
It's on.
Yeah, I'm sure.
Nothing is gonna get Higgins back here before Monday.
Nothing.
You learn very quickly, Moki.
I've done this before.
My dad showed me how.
He's an avid survivalist? Well, yeah, sort of.
You need help with the thatching, Clint? All I need is something to eat! I still don't see why we didn't bring some food along.
Because the purpose of the trip is to take what we need from the environment.
Self-reliance breeds self-esteem.
Well said, Mr.
Higgins.
Right.
You guys can learn a lot from Mr.
Higgins.
You know, he once survived alone in the jungle for nine days and then captured an enemy patrol? No kidding! VCs? What? Oh, no, they were Japanese soldiers.
The Second World War.
I'll go get some firewood, Mr.
Haynes.
You're to be commended for your initiative, Doug.
Oh, he's got the jump on us.
He's made one of these trips before.
Firearms on the trip, Mr.
Haynes? I thought these boys had your complete trust.
Oh, they do.
I just bring this along in case we can't trap any food.
It's just a rabbit rifle.
You don't, by any chance I mean I seem to have lost Irene McDonald's phone number.
You don't happen to have it, do you? Well, I know she told you not to give it to me, but that was years ago.
I mean, she was a little angry at the moment, but I'm sure that's water under the bridge.
Oh, now wait! Russell, wait.
You know, I promised you never to tell what happened at the Founder's Day picnic in '82, didn't I? No, I never said that I changed my mind, but if I had that phone number Yeah.
I got it.
Thanks.
Hi, this is This is Irene's machine.
Hi.
It's me.
How would you like to let bygones be bygones? Well, I was giving a little party for some old friends, and Do you think maybe you'd like to be in that category again? Give me a call back, okay? MOKl: Where'd you learn about this monkey vine thing, Mr.
Higgins? In the Fiji Islands.
Some years ago I happened to see an old man trolling the sea with one long strand of monkey vine.
To my amazement, a fish followed the vine to the water's edge, where the old man speared it.
He explained to me that certain marine species are irresistibly attracted to the monkey vine.
Later I decided that a net made of the vine would prove more practical, and my theory was indeed correct.
Oh, well, I learned it from my dad.
He saw it in an old movie.
Really? Well, if you'll catch on to the safety line, Moki, I'll cast out.
Odd, I don't remember my other nets being this heavy.
Maybe we put too many rocks on it.
No, no, no, I'm I'm sure the net is weighted properly.
I can manage.
Mr.
Higgins! Mr.
Higgins! Are you okay? I'm telling you, he's gonna wake up and realize what's happening, and he's gonna come back here and kill us.
Besides, we don't even have a reason for having a party.
No reason? When's the last time Higgins went away for the weekend? What's going on, Rick? I thought you were all for this? Yeah, well, I was, until I talked to Marge.
Marge? Yeah, Marge.
She hates big parties, Thomas.
You know what Marge means to me.
No.
No, I don't.
You only met her two weeks ago.
Yo! Anybody around? What is all of this? Hey, we're using the main house! We're gonna need the space.
Yeah, that's what I came to talk to you about.
You know, I think we ought to reconsider this party idea.
Reconsider? It's tomorrow! I don't understand.
I thought you guys really wanted to have it.
When's the last time we had a big, all-day party with the old gang? I don't remember.
That's the point.
I mean, maybe there is no old gang.
I mean, maybe everybody's busy these days doing more important things than partying.
We're all too busy.
I mean, that's the point.
We've forgotten how to relax, even for just a day.
T.
C.
, don't back out on me.
I got tons of people coming.
Tons? How many is that? Tons! Twelve.
But I got nine maybes.
Yeah, and how many turn-downs? Seventeen, twenty.
What difference does that make? There's a lot of people I haven't reached yet.
We could have 50 by tomorrow morning.
Sure.
I'm for canceling.
I can still save a job.
Save a job? Save a job? That's all that really matters anymore, isn't it? I mean, we're so mature and responsible, we can't do anything that doesn't involve business.
I don't believe this.
I mean, you guys are always complaining about having to work all of the time, about never having a day to just check out.
So I come up with a whole day where we don't have to do anything but enjoy ourselves, and you guys back out on me.
Okay, drinks and ice at 10:00.
I'll take care of Marge and the food, but you gotta take care of Higgins when he sees this joint.
Will you stop? He's not coming back.
Yeah, Orville.
After what Thomas told him, Higgins would have to have pneumonia and two broken legs before he'd even think about coming back early.
Calling N-6-D-B-Z.
Higgins? Higgins, come on, I know you're there.
Look, I don't want to push this, but I've set up Robin's shortwave and I'm leaving it on all the time, just in case of global war.
Seriously, Higgins.
Sorry, lads.
Where was I? Ah, yes, Abdul Ben Bashi.
Well, being of the desert, he had never tasted fish and presumed that we had cooked his pet iguanas.
He ordered that we be stripped and baked in the sun until dead.
What happened? Well, in deference to the modesty of his wives, we asked not to be stripped.
Yes, well, I'm sure you've heard equally interesting anecdotes about the war from your fathers.
Well, actually, Mr.
Higgins, my father was born after that war, but I heard some great stories about it from my grandfather.
How's your head, Mr.
Higgins? What? Something wrong with your head? Well, he was casting out a net and And slipped.
I'm fine now.
It doesn't bear discussing.
Moki, didn't you tell me that your father saw action in the war? Huh? Oh, yeah, in lots of them! He was an Airborne Ranger in Nam.
Sure, Moki.
He was! And when I get out, he's gonna take me to all the places he fought.
Yeah, if they ever let him out.
Hey, that's enough! That's enough! Now knock it off! Clint, go get some firewood.
Perhaps we should go collect some as well, Moki.
But it's true.
My dad is a hero.
He got a medal and Moki, I believe you, but I think it best that we forget the incident.
And, if you don't mind, we might keep the fishing incident just between us as well.
Doug! What? I had to do it! Let's get out of here! Mr.
Haynes What I know what you're thinking.
But this time you're wrong.
Okay, maybe I had gone a little too far with Higgins, pressing him to the point where I knew he wouldn't come home unexpectedly, and ruin what promised to be a very enjoyable weekend bash.
But sometimes with Higgins you have to go too far just to make sure it takes.
On the other hand, I was beginning to detect just the slightest twinge of something that could be interpreted as a touch of guilt, which was beginning to get in the way of all the fun I was supposed to be having.
Sam.
Thomas Magnum.
Yeah, it has been a while.
Listen, did you get my message? Done! This is the last load.
Really? Congratulations.
Thanks.
Now, you mind giving me a hand? We're running out of time.
Of course I'm sorry you can't make it, but Yeah, give me a call, Sam.
Bye.
Sam Makini is finishing his thesis this weekend.
Did you know he's getting a master's in physics? Ah, that's terrific.
I know we got less than an hour.
Did you set up the table in the living room? Yeah.
I just hope everybody's careful.
Higgins will kill me if there are food stains on the rug.
I worked things out with Marge.
She's stopping by later.
Good.
We've got too many guys.
Have you seen Rita Clark lately? I can't seem to reach her.
Forget it! Rita's got her real estate license.
Saturday's her big day.
What about Dana Prescott? I reached her ex-landlady.
Dana moved back to Portland to pick up her teaching career.
Okay.
I've got a vanload full of liquids that I need some help with.
I guess after that we're ready.
You gotta be kidding.
We've got a lot of work to do here before the doors open.
Before the doors open? Rick, we're not having a luncheon at the Club.
We're having a party for old friends.
Thomas, it just so happens that some of those old friends are charter members of the Club, and I can't afford to give them a sloppy food setup.
MOKl: Where the hell did that come from? You lead! Al.
Thomas.
Thomas Magnum.
Well, no, I didn't leave my last name on the message.
I thought you'd know who it was.
You can? That's great.
Okay, I'll see you then.
Al Cleary is on his way over.
Al Cleary? Thomas, don't you remember what Al Cleary's like at parties? Yeah, he hits on every girl there while balancing bottles on his nose.
Well, we haven't seen him in a long time.
Maybe he's changed.
Everybody else has.
Besides, he puts us over 20 guests.
Oh, if it's just numbers that we're after, then there are some clients I'd like to invite.
Clients? Yeah, cargo shippers, travel agents T.
C.
, we agreed to take the whole weekend off.
No business! Yeah, but I didn't agree not to think about business.
You know, T.
C.
, you got a point there.
I could invite all my produce suppliers.
Guys, we're getting away from the whole purpose of this.
Why? We can't relax and save money at the same time? I mean, a couple of clients and all this food and drink can become one big tax write-off.
No! We are having Twenty-one! Hello? Robin? No, Higgins isn't here.
Why? Hello, Robin's Nest.
Hey, Donna, yeah, it's Rick! How you doing? Robin, Higgins said that that was next Saturday.
No, no, it's today! Right now! Didn't Thomas explain that in his message? Well, I guess I misunderstood.
I'm sure Higgins has everything ready.
We're about to start right now! Are you coming? That's terrific! Okay, bye, Donna! Right.
Robin.
Bye.
Hey, Donna Lee and her roommate are coming.
That makes 22! Great! What did Robin want? His house.
Our whole party's off.
It's what? Calling N-6-D-B-Z.
Come in.
N-6-D-B-Z, come in.
Higgins, please answer.
You're in big trouble.
Higgins! Higgins? Come on.
We don't want to kill you! We just want to talk this thing out! I'm sure he's gonna believe you, Doug.
You think he doesn't know we've been gunning for him all night? Yeah, he's outsmarted us good.
All the traps and these paths that lead to nowhere.
Shut up! Just drop it! No! We ought to stop looking for him and find that damn raft! Forget the raft! It's gone.
Now, somebody took it.
Are you sure you remember where you hid it? I mean, it's been a month since you've been here before.
Yes, I'm sure.
It's gone.
Look, we'll make another raft, after we get Higgins.
Okay? Sure.
Anybody here know how to build one? Never mind.
Probably gonna starve before we find him, anyway.
MOKl: We gotta get back to camp! There's lots of roots and stuff back there.
Doug, shoot! Quick! Great shooting! Give me that thing! I can't do any worse! Let's go back to camp.
Higgins got it! The net's gone! He's got the fishing net! Well, keep searching! He couldn't have dragged everything off! Then who did? We can't make it out here without food.
We gotta start making a raft! No! Look, we can't leave Higgins here alive.
Me and Moki can.
We didn't have nothing to do with killing Haynes.
You guys are in it as much as me.
You were both in on the escape! Maybe that's not how the cops'll look at it.
You ready to find out? Well, then come up with a plan! Higgins could run us around this island for days.
Or he could make a mistake.
Damn, that smells good! Keep your mind on business.
It's gotta be a trap.
If it is, it's a good one.
Shoot him, Clint! Shoot him! Shoot him! Higgins? Higgins, come in.
Higgins, come on.
I know you're there.
He's not gonna answer.
We're gonna have to go over there.
He's just being stubborn.
Robin's Nest.
Calling N-6-D-B-Z.
Come in, please.
He's busy right now.
Higgins, this is no joke.
Answer the radio.
It's for your own good.
Oh, no.
He called that off.
Is anybody there? I need to speak to Jonathan Quayle Higgins.
Oh, I'm sorry, but I really can't interrupt him.
N-6-D-B-Z.
Anybody? Come in, please.
Okay, I'll tell him.
N-6-D-B-Z! L- R-E-N-E.
Come in.
I got it.
Thanks.
McDonald? Wait! Irene.
She's not home.
I'm gonna leave a message.
She's on her way to Nairobi on a scientific expedition.
But she said that she might call you when she gets back in two years.
Let's go.
We'll take the chopper.
All right, Higgins, this is your last chance.
Where are you? I repeat, where are you? No, Moki, please.
It's all right.
I thought I was in a tomb.
A cave on the far side of the island.
You've been asleep for several hours.
I really hurt.
Am I gonna be okay? Yes, but you must remain perfectly still.
Forever? No, of course not.
It's just that you mustn't exert yourself until we can get you to a hospital.
Here.
It seems that I owe you a debt of gratitude.
Why did you try to stop Doug? There wasn't supposed to be any killing.
Mr.
Haynes, you, anybody.
You planned an escape? Doug and Clint, they wanted to go to Canada.
I just wanted to get to San Diego to spring my dad.
Moki, if your father's in prison No! He's in a VA ward.
I got nine months for springing him out of Pearl.
He just wants to live out in the jungle on his own.
There's nothing wrong with that.
Is there? Your father will be fine, Moki.
Now you must get some rest.
You'll be safe here until I return.
Where are you going? I presume Doug still has a good supply of ammunition? Four, five boxes.
I'm not sure.
That's at least 250 rounds.
I have to go and find him again before he finds us.
You choked, man.
You had the perfect shot.
Come on, Doug.
I've never shot at anybody before.
Yeah, well, you still haven't.
So how come I'm facing a murder rap? Maybe two with Moki.
And we're still after Higgins? How many people are we gonna kill? You think I'm enjoying this? I didn't have any choice.
I had to kill Haynes.
Why did you have to? I mean, what happened, exactly? I wasn't there, remember? Come on.
We don't know that it's Higgins' fault.
Robin can be the one who's wrong about the date.
I don't care who's at fault.
What I do care about is the money that I laid out for this stupid party and the tab for this flight.
Look, I'm sure Higgins will be glad to pay you.
It's better than being in trouble with Robin.
Higgins! Did you say that Robin was bringing 12 guests? T.
C.
, you made your point.
Twelve.
Now I wonder why that number sticks in my mind.
Ah, yes.
I was once going to cancel a party for 12 people.
Higgins! But somebody said, "No!" That 12 is going to turn into 50.
Fifty old friends coming to a time warp party.
That's not what I had in mind.
Magnum, this radio is I'm calling the Coast Guard.
Higgins! Thomas! Somebody stripped the radio.
How far will you have to fly to get help? Not far, if I could fly.
The engine igniter's gone.
Man, we are stuck here until we find it.
Look, Al, you've all got to leave.
We gotta get this place cleaned up.
I got Robin Masters and 12 guests coming.
Great.
You got another cooler of beer anywhere? Maybe in the fridge? Maybe, you never know.
Why hasn't Thomas and T.
C.
Called? It's been five hours.
Rick? Marge! Marge, honey.
I'm sorry that I made you wait so long.
Oh, that's okay.
Al Cleary has been keeping me and everyone else entertained.
Yeah.
Did you know that he could balance a bottle on his nose? Only when I'm happy, which I'm not.
We've got big problems.
Plenty of beer, there's no ice.
Ice! That is the biggest worry of your life? Ice? Yeah, it's Saturday.
What's happened to you, Rick? I don't know.
I'm sorry, I I really haven't been feeling really good today, Al.
I had this headache and this sore throat.
I'm getting these funny little lumps underneath Lumps? Mump lumps? They can do terrible things to a mature, adult male.
Well, then you won't have to worry.
I really enjoyed it, Rick.
Gotta go! Goodbye.
Bye-bye.
Feeling better? I will, just as soon as I reach Burbank, California Airport.
An elephant could have done less damage.
Somebody definitely doesn't want these trails missed.
Higgins? Yeah, maybe, or maybe the kids made these paths.
They could be running from somebody.
And so could he.
Let's just hope he's still able to run.
Yeah, well, pick a path.
I'll take the other.
Oh, my God.
You all right? You okay, T.
C? I distinctly recall marking it on my calendar.
Mr.
Masters was to arrive here next Saturday afternoon at 3:00.
Is it possible I forgot some change in the arrangements? Higgins, is that really important right now? We've got to find Thomas and let him know what's going on.
Yes, I'll go search for him.
No, we'll both go, but in different directions.
No, you're to stay here and continue to apply comfrey to your wound.
Higgins, I'm okay.
No, you are not okay at all.
You have a highly inflamed gastrocnemius with a sympathetic rectus femoris.
Not to mention that someone must stay here with Moki.
What are his chances? That depends on how quickly we get him to a hospital.
Yeah, okay.
The fork in that path that I told you about is your best shot for finding Magnum.
T.
C.
, I've been exploring this island for nearly 24 hours.
If you don't mind, I'll plot my own course.
A net? What are you gonna do with that? Better than I did yesterday.
You've been out a long time.
I didn't mean to hit you so hard.
Why didn't you give Haynes the same consideration? Can you fly that chopper? Nobody can fly it right now, or I guess you know that.
One of you must have done time for car-stripping.
Where's Higgins? Can you fly the chopper or not? I don't think it'd be very smart of me to answer you.
You'll shoot me now if I can't fly it, or later if I can.
No, you're wrong and we can pay you! Doug's got 30 Clint! Thirty what? $30,000? Oh, come on.
What are you hiding? I didn't figure you earned it parking cars.
No, I got four counts of robbery.
They're transferring me to Federal when I turn 18 this year.
Would you wanna sit in a cell till you turned 27? No, I guess not, not with $30,000 waiting.
That's a lot of money for one person.
Doug, we got no choice! No! You shouldn't have told him about my money! Moki? $10,000 cash, when you drop us in Maui.
If you don't mind my asking, were you really dumb enough not to have an escape plan until we showed up? No, we had a plan.
Doug hid a life raft when he made one of these trips before, but we couldn't find it.
You brought a life raft, and Haynes didn't ask you anything about it? Well, he didn't know.
It was folded up and hidden in a bag.
They'd have found it at the dock! They search all the prisoners before they let us on the boat.
But they never search the counselor's stuff.
What happened, Doug? Haynes didn't leave the raft where he promised, or maybe he didn't bring it at all? Double cross works both ways.
How much was he supposed to get? Oh, the amount doesn't matter, Clint.
Not when you don't plan to pay off.
That is why you shot him, isn't it, Doug? Can you fly a chopper? Doug, stop it! No, I'm gonna beat him! You! Got it out of the chopper when I stripped the radio.
Thought I might need it for skinning rabbits.
Thanks.
Stay here, huh? You'll be all right.
Doug! Nice going, Higgins.
Thank you.
It would have been a great pity to have gone up there for nothing.
Quarantine? I'm really sorry, Higgins, but I did reach Robin in time.
You did? Yeah, when they When they stopped to refuel in Burbank.
Then he took off and went back to New York with his friends.
Very quick thinking, Orville.
Right.
So the kids are back in jail? Yes, and Moki will be fine, thanks to T.
C.
's quick thinking.
Quick thinking is a trait that I've often admired in all of you.
This is the big one! You owe me! We cleaned everything up here! We didn't miss a thing.
Marge! You're not supposed to be down here! No, I guess you shouldn't.
Hi, Marge.
Hi.
Guys, it doesn't look like what it seems.
We were just too bushed to drive home last night.
Oh.
We'll cover.
Cover? Get up there and get something on before Higgins sees you, please! I was correct.
Mr.
Masters was not due here until next Saturday.
Good.
Feel better now that you know you weren't wrong, Higgins? I'll feel better when you explain the blonde nymph who just went upstairs wearing my safari jacket.
Perhaps she was still here from yesterday? Yesterday? You did want to make sure that I was gone for the weekend, didn't you? So you could have a gathering of indolent jesting stock! Oh, Higgins, you always think the worst.
Yeah.
Who'd wanna spend a pointless, all-day party anyway? Yes.
People change, Higgins.
They get more mature.
Make adjustments.
Yes.
I suppose I don't accept the adjustments of age terribly well.
Oh, really? You made some great ones out on that island.
Thank you.
And I'm pleased to learn of your adjustments as well.
You have truly decided to abandon some of the more frivolous aspects of your lifestyles.
Are you giving up tree-climbing? It's a strenuous feat best left to the young.
However, I would try it again if I deemed it absolutely necessary.
The same goes for "frivolous aspects.
" Very commendable.
For that reason, I shall believe that the young woman upstairs has a perfectly innocent reason for being here.
I think it best.
It is your jacket she's wearing.
Yes.
And if I have dismissed you all at times for being childish, let me take this opportunity to say I'm sorry and Oh, my God! Higgins Higgins, I can explain it.
Just because they're at the prison farm doesn't make them hardened criminals, Magnum.
Higgins, please answer.
You're in big trouble.
Higgins! Doug, shoot! Look, we can't leave Higgins here alive.
Higgins! Thomas! Shoot him! Shoot him, Clint! Shoot! I had become separated from my unit during a skirmish, and I had spent nine days alone in the jungle, sustaining myself on the small creatures that I was able to entrap ever mindful of the fact that I was the hunted, as well as the hunter.
On this particular morning, my predators had moved to within a few yards of my camp.
And I knew that an unfortunate member of the enemy patrol had tripped one of my many spring-trap devices.
As they moved ever closer to me, I plotted my last attempt at survival, knowing that cunning rarely prevails over firepower.
Fortunately, I was not wounded seriously, and And you overpowered the patrol leader, held the three men captive until Allied forces took the area.
I'm sorry, Higgins.
I really have to run, and I really didn't want to miss that story.
You guys enjoy your trip.
When did you say you were due back, Del? It's usually late Monday morning.
Usually? That means you've had to come back earlier sometimes? Of course not.
Why wouldn't he? Well, these survivalist trips can get pretty tough, Higgins, even for kids.
No problem there.
These guys are pretty tough themselves.
Well, I kind of presumed they were, considering their present address.
Just because they're at the prison farm doesn't make them hardened criminals, Magnum.
Mr.
Haynes has certainly counseled the boys long enough to know the best ones.
Higgins, I think it's a good program.
I think it's great that you're volunteering to go along, and don't worry about anything here.
I mean, I couldn't even get in touch with you if there was an emergency here.
So I guess you'll just have to trust me to handle things.
Well, if it were a real emergency, you could reach us.
I always take a shortwave along.
You do? That means that you could get off the island earlier if Magnum, what is going on? Going on? This obsession with my itinerary.
Is something happening this weekend of which I'm unaware? Well, I'm not sure.
Look, Higgins, when was the last time you were in a survival situation? I see.
You're suggesting that I may no longer be capable of such strenuous activity? I'm suggesting that anybody can forget how tough it is and maybe even forget a few of the techniques.
I haven't forgotten anything! Where in God's name is my knife? Your knife? This knife? Is this what you're looking for, Higgins? You know, you had this with you the other day when you came to tell me about the trip, but you left it on the mantle.
I guess you forgot it! The shortwave call letters? N-6 Del, please! Mr.
Higgins, it's getting late, and we still have to go get the boys.
N-6-D-V-Z.
Call only in the event of a global war.
Oh, I'll wait for you to call in the event that you're hurt or sick or just overly tired.
It's on.
Yeah, I'm sure.
Nothing is gonna get Higgins back here before Monday.
Nothing.
You learn very quickly, Moki.
I've done this before.
My dad showed me how.
He's an avid survivalist? Well, yeah, sort of.
You need help with the thatching, Clint? All I need is something to eat! I still don't see why we didn't bring some food along.
Because the purpose of the trip is to take what we need from the environment.
Self-reliance breeds self-esteem.
Well said, Mr.
Higgins.
Right.
You guys can learn a lot from Mr.
Higgins.
You know, he once survived alone in the jungle for nine days and then captured an enemy patrol? No kidding! VCs? What? Oh, no, they were Japanese soldiers.
The Second World War.
I'll go get some firewood, Mr.
Haynes.
You're to be commended for your initiative, Doug.
Oh, he's got the jump on us.
He's made one of these trips before.
Firearms on the trip, Mr.
Haynes? I thought these boys had your complete trust.
Oh, they do.
I just bring this along in case we can't trap any food.
It's just a rabbit rifle.
You don't, by any chance I mean I seem to have lost Irene McDonald's phone number.
You don't happen to have it, do you? Well, I know she told you not to give it to me, but that was years ago.
I mean, she was a little angry at the moment, but I'm sure that's water under the bridge.
Oh, now wait! Russell, wait.
You know, I promised you never to tell what happened at the Founder's Day picnic in '82, didn't I? No, I never said that I changed my mind, but if I had that phone number Yeah.
I got it.
Thanks.
Hi, this is This is Irene's machine.
Hi.
It's me.
How would you like to let bygones be bygones? Well, I was giving a little party for some old friends, and Do you think maybe you'd like to be in that category again? Give me a call back, okay? MOKl: Where'd you learn about this monkey vine thing, Mr.
Higgins? In the Fiji Islands.
Some years ago I happened to see an old man trolling the sea with one long strand of monkey vine.
To my amazement, a fish followed the vine to the water's edge, where the old man speared it.
He explained to me that certain marine species are irresistibly attracted to the monkey vine.
Later I decided that a net made of the vine would prove more practical, and my theory was indeed correct.
Oh, well, I learned it from my dad.
He saw it in an old movie.
Really? Well, if you'll catch on to the safety line, Moki, I'll cast out.
Odd, I don't remember my other nets being this heavy.
Maybe we put too many rocks on it.
No, no, no, I'm I'm sure the net is weighted properly.
I can manage.
Mr.
Higgins! Mr.
Higgins! Are you okay? I'm telling you, he's gonna wake up and realize what's happening, and he's gonna come back here and kill us.
Besides, we don't even have a reason for having a party.
No reason? When's the last time Higgins went away for the weekend? What's going on, Rick? I thought you were all for this? Yeah, well, I was, until I talked to Marge.
Marge? Yeah, Marge.
She hates big parties, Thomas.
You know what Marge means to me.
No.
No, I don't.
You only met her two weeks ago.
Yo! Anybody around? What is all of this? Hey, we're using the main house! We're gonna need the space.
Yeah, that's what I came to talk to you about.
You know, I think we ought to reconsider this party idea.
Reconsider? It's tomorrow! I don't understand.
I thought you guys really wanted to have it.
When's the last time we had a big, all-day party with the old gang? I don't remember.
That's the point.
I mean, maybe there is no old gang.
I mean, maybe everybody's busy these days doing more important things than partying.
We're all too busy.
I mean, that's the point.
We've forgotten how to relax, even for just a day.
T.
C.
, don't back out on me.
I got tons of people coming.
Tons? How many is that? Tons! Twelve.
But I got nine maybes.
Yeah, and how many turn-downs? Seventeen, twenty.
What difference does that make? There's a lot of people I haven't reached yet.
We could have 50 by tomorrow morning.
Sure.
I'm for canceling.
I can still save a job.
Save a job? Save a job? That's all that really matters anymore, isn't it? I mean, we're so mature and responsible, we can't do anything that doesn't involve business.
I don't believe this.
I mean, you guys are always complaining about having to work all of the time, about never having a day to just check out.
So I come up with a whole day where we don't have to do anything but enjoy ourselves, and you guys back out on me.
Okay, drinks and ice at 10:00.
I'll take care of Marge and the food, but you gotta take care of Higgins when he sees this joint.
Will you stop? He's not coming back.
Yeah, Orville.
After what Thomas told him, Higgins would have to have pneumonia and two broken legs before he'd even think about coming back early.
Calling N-6-D-B-Z.
Higgins? Higgins, come on, I know you're there.
Look, I don't want to push this, but I've set up Robin's shortwave and I'm leaving it on all the time, just in case of global war.
Seriously, Higgins.
Sorry, lads.
Where was I? Ah, yes, Abdul Ben Bashi.
Well, being of the desert, he had never tasted fish and presumed that we had cooked his pet iguanas.
He ordered that we be stripped and baked in the sun until dead.
What happened? Well, in deference to the modesty of his wives, we asked not to be stripped.
Yes, well, I'm sure you've heard equally interesting anecdotes about the war from your fathers.
Well, actually, Mr.
Higgins, my father was born after that war, but I heard some great stories about it from my grandfather.
How's your head, Mr.
Higgins? What? Something wrong with your head? Well, he was casting out a net and And slipped.
I'm fine now.
It doesn't bear discussing.
Moki, didn't you tell me that your father saw action in the war? Huh? Oh, yeah, in lots of them! He was an Airborne Ranger in Nam.
Sure, Moki.
He was! And when I get out, he's gonna take me to all the places he fought.
Yeah, if they ever let him out.
Hey, that's enough! That's enough! Now knock it off! Clint, go get some firewood.
Perhaps we should go collect some as well, Moki.
But it's true.
My dad is a hero.
He got a medal and Moki, I believe you, but I think it best that we forget the incident.
And, if you don't mind, we might keep the fishing incident just between us as well.
Doug! What? I had to do it! Let's get out of here! Mr.
Haynes What I know what you're thinking.
But this time you're wrong.
Okay, maybe I had gone a little too far with Higgins, pressing him to the point where I knew he wouldn't come home unexpectedly, and ruin what promised to be a very enjoyable weekend bash.
But sometimes with Higgins you have to go too far just to make sure it takes.
On the other hand, I was beginning to detect just the slightest twinge of something that could be interpreted as a touch of guilt, which was beginning to get in the way of all the fun I was supposed to be having.
Sam.
Thomas Magnum.
Yeah, it has been a while.
Listen, did you get my message? Done! This is the last load.
Really? Congratulations.
Thanks.
Now, you mind giving me a hand? We're running out of time.
Of course I'm sorry you can't make it, but Yeah, give me a call, Sam.
Bye.
Sam Makini is finishing his thesis this weekend.
Did you know he's getting a master's in physics? Ah, that's terrific.
I know we got less than an hour.
Did you set up the table in the living room? Yeah.
I just hope everybody's careful.
Higgins will kill me if there are food stains on the rug.
I worked things out with Marge.
She's stopping by later.
Good.
We've got too many guys.
Have you seen Rita Clark lately? I can't seem to reach her.
Forget it! Rita's got her real estate license.
Saturday's her big day.
What about Dana Prescott? I reached her ex-landlady.
Dana moved back to Portland to pick up her teaching career.
Okay.
I've got a vanload full of liquids that I need some help with.
I guess after that we're ready.
You gotta be kidding.
We've got a lot of work to do here before the doors open.
Before the doors open? Rick, we're not having a luncheon at the Club.
We're having a party for old friends.
Thomas, it just so happens that some of those old friends are charter members of the Club, and I can't afford to give them a sloppy food setup.
MOKl: Where the hell did that come from? You lead! Al.
Thomas.
Thomas Magnum.
Well, no, I didn't leave my last name on the message.
I thought you'd know who it was.
You can? That's great.
Okay, I'll see you then.
Al Cleary is on his way over.
Al Cleary? Thomas, don't you remember what Al Cleary's like at parties? Yeah, he hits on every girl there while balancing bottles on his nose.
Well, we haven't seen him in a long time.
Maybe he's changed.
Everybody else has.
Besides, he puts us over 20 guests.
Oh, if it's just numbers that we're after, then there are some clients I'd like to invite.
Clients? Yeah, cargo shippers, travel agents T.
C.
, we agreed to take the whole weekend off.
No business! Yeah, but I didn't agree not to think about business.
You know, T.
C.
, you got a point there.
I could invite all my produce suppliers.
Guys, we're getting away from the whole purpose of this.
Why? We can't relax and save money at the same time? I mean, a couple of clients and all this food and drink can become one big tax write-off.
No! We are having Twenty-one! Hello? Robin? No, Higgins isn't here.
Why? Hello, Robin's Nest.
Hey, Donna, yeah, it's Rick! How you doing? Robin, Higgins said that that was next Saturday.
No, no, it's today! Right now! Didn't Thomas explain that in his message? Well, I guess I misunderstood.
I'm sure Higgins has everything ready.
We're about to start right now! Are you coming? That's terrific! Okay, bye, Donna! Right.
Robin.
Bye.
Hey, Donna Lee and her roommate are coming.
That makes 22! Great! What did Robin want? His house.
Our whole party's off.
It's what? Calling N-6-D-B-Z.
Come in.
N-6-D-B-Z, come in.
Higgins, please answer.
You're in big trouble.
Higgins! Higgins? Come on.
We don't want to kill you! We just want to talk this thing out! I'm sure he's gonna believe you, Doug.
You think he doesn't know we've been gunning for him all night? Yeah, he's outsmarted us good.
All the traps and these paths that lead to nowhere.
Shut up! Just drop it! No! We ought to stop looking for him and find that damn raft! Forget the raft! It's gone.
Now, somebody took it.
Are you sure you remember where you hid it? I mean, it's been a month since you've been here before.
Yes, I'm sure.
It's gone.
Look, we'll make another raft, after we get Higgins.
Okay? Sure.
Anybody here know how to build one? Never mind.
Probably gonna starve before we find him, anyway.
MOKl: We gotta get back to camp! There's lots of roots and stuff back there.
Doug, shoot! Quick! Great shooting! Give me that thing! I can't do any worse! Let's go back to camp.
Higgins got it! The net's gone! He's got the fishing net! Well, keep searching! He couldn't have dragged everything off! Then who did? We can't make it out here without food.
We gotta start making a raft! No! Look, we can't leave Higgins here alive.
Me and Moki can.
We didn't have nothing to do with killing Haynes.
You guys are in it as much as me.
You were both in on the escape! Maybe that's not how the cops'll look at it.
You ready to find out? Well, then come up with a plan! Higgins could run us around this island for days.
Or he could make a mistake.
Damn, that smells good! Keep your mind on business.
It's gotta be a trap.
If it is, it's a good one.
Shoot him, Clint! Shoot him! Shoot him! Higgins? Higgins, come in.
Higgins, come on.
I know you're there.
He's not gonna answer.
We're gonna have to go over there.
He's just being stubborn.
Robin's Nest.
Calling N-6-D-B-Z.
Come in, please.
He's busy right now.
Higgins, this is no joke.
Answer the radio.
It's for your own good.
Oh, no.
He called that off.
Is anybody there? I need to speak to Jonathan Quayle Higgins.
Oh, I'm sorry, but I really can't interrupt him.
N-6-D-B-Z.
Anybody? Come in, please.
Okay, I'll tell him.
N-6-D-B-Z! L- R-E-N-E.
Come in.
I got it.
Thanks.
McDonald? Wait! Irene.
She's not home.
I'm gonna leave a message.
She's on her way to Nairobi on a scientific expedition.
But she said that she might call you when she gets back in two years.
Let's go.
We'll take the chopper.
All right, Higgins, this is your last chance.
Where are you? I repeat, where are you? No, Moki, please.
It's all right.
I thought I was in a tomb.
A cave on the far side of the island.
You've been asleep for several hours.
I really hurt.
Am I gonna be okay? Yes, but you must remain perfectly still.
Forever? No, of course not.
It's just that you mustn't exert yourself until we can get you to a hospital.
Here.
It seems that I owe you a debt of gratitude.
Why did you try to stop Doug? There wasn't supposed to be any killing.
Mr.
Haynes, you, anybody.
You planned an escape? Doug and Clint, they wanted to go to Canada.
I just wanted to get to San Diego to spring my dad.
Moki, if your father's in prison No! He's in a VA ward.
I got nine months for springing him out of Pearl.
He just wants to live out in the jungle on his own.
There's nothing wrong with that.
Is there? Your father will be fine, Moki.
Now you must get some rest.
You'll be safe here until I return.
Where are you going? I presume Doug still has a good supply of ammunition? Four, five boxes.
I'm not sure.
That's at least 250 rounds.
I have to go and find him again before he finds us.
You choked, man.
You had the perfect shot.
Come on, Doug.
I've never shot at anybody before.
Yeah, well, you still haven't.
So how come I'm facing a murder rap? Maybe two with Moki.
And we're still after Higgins? How many people are we gonna kill? You think I'm enjoying this? I didn't have any choice.
I had to kill Haynes.
Why did you have to? I mean, what happened, exactly? I wasn't there, remember? Come on.
We don't know that it's Higgins' fault.
Robin can be the one who's wrong about the date.
I don't care who's at fault.
What I do care about is the money that I laid out for this stupid party and the tab for this flight.
Look, I'm sure Higgins will be glad to pay you.
It's better than being in trouble with Robin.
Higgins! Did you say that Robin was bringing 12 guests? T.
C.
, you made your point.
Twelve.
Now I wonder why that number sticks in my mind.
Ah, yes.
I was once going to cancel a party for 12 people.
Higgins! But somebody said, "No!" That 12 is going to turn into 50.
Fifty old friends coming to a time warp party.
That's not what I had in mind.
Magnum, this radio is I'm calling the Coast Guard.
Higgins! Thomas! Somebody stripped the radio.
How far will you have to fly to get help? Not far, if I could fly.
The engine igniter's gone.
Man, we are stuck here until we find it.
Look, Al, you've all got to leave.
We gotta get this place cleaned up.
I got Robin Masters and 12 guests coming.
Great.
You got another cooler of beer anywhere? Maybe in the fridge? Maybe, you never know.
Why hasn't Thomas and T.
C.
Called? It's been five hours.
Rick? Marge! Marge, honey.
I'm sorry that I made you wait so long.
Oh, that's okay.
Al Cleary has been keeping me and everyone else entertained.
Yeah.
Did you know that he could balance a bottle on his nose? Only when I'm happy, which I'm not.
We've got big problems.
Plenty of beer, there's no ice.
Ice! That is the biggest worry of your life? Ice? Yeah, it's Saturday.
What's happened to you, Rick? I don't know.
I'm sorry, I I really haven't been feeling really good today, Al.
I had this headache and this sore throat.
I'm getting these funny little lumps underneath Lumps? Mump lumps? They can do terrible things to a mature, adult male.
Well, then you won't have to worry.
I really enjoyed it, Rick.
Gotta go! Goodbye.
Bye-bye.
Feeling better? I will, just as soon as I reach Burbank, California Airport.
An elephant could have done less damage.
Somebody definitely doesn't want these trails missed.
Higgins? Yeah, maybe, or maybe the kids made these paths.
They could be running from somebody.
And so could he.
Let's just hope he's still able to run.
Yeah, well, pick a path.
I'll take the other.
Oh, my God.
You all right? You okay, T.
C? I distinctly recall marking it on my calendar.
Mr.
Masters was to arrive here next Saturday afternoon at 3:00.
Is it possible I forgot some change in the arrangements? Higgins, is that really important right now? We've got to find Thomas and let him know what's going on.
Yes, I'll go search for him.
No, we'll both go, but in different directions.
No, you're to stay here and continue to apply comfrey to your wound.
Higgins, I'm okay.
No, you are not okay at all.
You have a highly inflamed gastrocnemius with a sympathetic rectus femoris.
Not to mention that someone must stay here with Moki.
What are his chances? That depends on how quickly we get him to a hospital.
Yeah, okay.
The fork in that path that I told you about is your best shot for finding Magnum.
T.
C.
, I've been exploring this island for nearly 24 hours.
If you don't mind, I'll plot my own course.
A net? What are you gonna do with that? Better than I did yesterday.
You've been out a long time.
I didn't mean to hit you so hard.
Why didn't you give Haynes the same consideration? Can you fly that chopper? Nobody can fly it right now, or I guess you know that.
One of you must have done time for car-stripping.
Where's Higgins? Can you fly the chopper or not? I don't think it'd be very smart of me to answer you.
You'll shoot me now if I can't fly it, or later if I can.
No, you're wrong and we can pay you! Doug's got 30 Clint! Thirty what? $30,000? Oh, come on.
What are you hiding? I didn't figure you earned it parking cars.
No, I got four counts of robbery.
They're transferring me to Federal when I turn 18 this year.
Would you wanna sit in a cell till you turned 27? No, I guess not, not with $30,000 waiting.
That's a lot of money for one person.
Doug, we got no choice! No! You shouldn't have told him about my money! Moki? $10,000 cash, when you drop us in Maui.
If you don't mind my asking, were you really dumb enough not to have an escape plan until we showed up? No, we had a plan.
Doug hid a life raft when he made one of these trips before, but we couldn't find it.
You brought a life raft, and Haynes didn't ask you anything about it? Well, he didn't know.
It was folded up and hidden in a bag.
They'd have found it at the dock! They search all the prisoners before they let us on the boat.
But they never search the counselor's stuff.
What happened, Doug? Haynes didn't leave the raft where he promised, or maybe he didn't bring it at all? Double cross works both ways.
How much was he supposed to get? Oh, the amount doesn't matter, Clint.
Not when you don't plan to pay off.
That is why you shot him, isn't it, Doug? Can you fly a chopper? Doug, stop it! No, I'm gonna beat him! You! Got it out of the chopper when I stripped the radio.
Thought I might need it for skinning rabbits.
Thanks.
Stay here, huh? You'll be all right.
Doug! Nice going, Higgins.
Thank you.
It would have been a great pity to have gone up there for nothing.
Quarantine? I'm really sorry, Higgins, but I did reach Robin in time.
You did? Yeah, when they When they stopped to refuel in Burbank.
Then he took off and went back to New York with his friends.
Very quick thinking, Orville.
Right.
So the kids are back in jail? Yes, and Moki will be fine, thanks to T.
C.
's quick thinking.
Quick thinking is a trait that I've often admired in all of you.
This is the big one! You owe me! We cleaned everything up here! We didn't miss a thing.
Marge! You're not supposed to be down here! No, I guess you shouldn't.
Hi, Marge.
Hi.
Guys, it doesn't look like what it seems.
We were just too bushed to drive home last night.
Oh.
We'll cover.
Cover? Get up there and get something on before Higgins sees you, please! I was correct.
Mr.
Masters was not due here until next Saturday.
Good.
Feel better now that you know you weren't wrong, Higgins? I'll feel better when you explain the blonde nymph who just went upstairs wearing my safari jacket.
Perhaps she was still here from yesterday? Yesterday? You did want to make sure that I was gone for the weekend, didn't you? So you could have a gathering of indolent jesting stock! Oh, Higgins, you always think the worst.
Yeah.
Who'd wanna spend a pointless, all-day party anyway? Yes.
People change, Higgins.
They get more mature.
Make adjustments.
Yes.
I suppose I don't accept the adjustments of age terribly well.
Oh, really? You made some great ones out on that island.
Thank you.
And I'm pleased to learn of your adjustments as well.
You have truly decided to abandon some of the more frivolous aspects of your lifestyles.
Are you giving up tree-climbing? It's a strenuous feat best left to the young.
However, I would try it again if I deemed it absolutely necessary.
The same goes for "frivolous aspects.
" Very commendable.
For that reason, I shall believe that the young woman upstairs has a perfectly innocent reason for being here.
I think it best.
It is your jacket she's wearing.
Yes.
And if I have dismissed you all at times for being childish, let me take this opportunity to say I'm sorry and Oh, my God! Higgins Higgins, I can explain it.