Buffy the Vampire Slayer s07e15 Episode Script

Previously on "Buffy the Vampire Slayer": Evil.
They want an apocalypse? We'll give 'em one.
Cos we just became an army.
It's not a happy scenario, but we're dealing with the Big Bad that can be any dead person it wants.
What do you want from me, Jonathan slash the First? - I have an assignment for you.
- You want me to hurt the girls? - The girls must die.
- Nice place.
Bit of a mess.
- (Dawn) They're all slayers? - Potential slayers.
Waiting for one to be called.
There were many more like them all over the world.
Now there's just a handful, all on their way to Sunnydale.
Glad we talked.
- In the spirit of air-clearing - Yeah? I feel like I need to be honest about something.
(Buffy) Spike has a soul now.
That's what's gonna stop him from hurting people.
- Buffy - He can be a good man, Giles.
I feel it.
- I guess we should talk.
- How do you know about slayers? My mother was one.
She was killed when I was four.
- Something got her.
A demon? - A vampire.
- So, how do you two know each other? - He works with me.
You know, in the struggle against evil.
- He's a vampire.
- I should move out.
- No.
You have to stay.
- You've got another demon fighter now.
- That's not why I need you here.
- Why's that then? Cos I'm not ready for you to not be here.
- You're not my mother.
- Like to know who killed me? You met him.
You know him.
- You fought at his side.
- Spike.
(sobbing) Chloö? It is Chloö, right? It's not enough.
I'm a bright girl.
Good education, quick on the uptake.
So, why in the name of almighty Grothnar would I let myself become human again? You're talking to the wrong fella.
Sure, the vengeance demon gig has some downsides - All jobs do.
- But being human? Urgh! You're always icky on the inside and disgusting on the outside.
Your outside's not so bad.
The only thing worse than being human is being trapped inside a house full of humans.
- Preaching to the choir, love.
- It's like Slayer Central.
I swear, if Buffy rooms or boards one more of the potential girls, I'm gonna call a - I'm gonna call a health inspector.
- I like my plan better.
Get up, get out, get drunk.
Repeat as needed.
It's just more elegant.
- Thanks for having me along.
- Don't mention it.
At first I thought "It's weird - is Spike asking me out on a date?" Cos that would just be - nuts.
- Right.
I'm just out for the alcohol.
Right there with you, scooter.
- Tonight I plan to drink you under the table.
- You're on, then.
Good.
Of course, once you're down there, I could join you.
Kidding.
I like my sex on top of the table.
Would you let it go? You're like a dog with a bone! - So what? - It's my bone.
Just drop it.
OK.
OK.
I wasn't proposing.
Time goes by, a girl gets hungry.
- Oh, thank God.
- What? - Demon.
- Huh? - D'Hoffryn says you die.
- Of course he does.
Oh, hey! - This may mean more than you think.
- Is that so? I think we have a couple of chuckle-heads who thought that a cafeteria fistfight would impress.
I'm not impressed.
Buffy, are you impressed? Still, I'm gonna cut you guys some slack this time.
Third fight this week, and it's just getting worse.
Plus, a rise in vandalism, three students missing.
Tell me something, Buffy, in your professional opinion.
(screaming) It's started, hasn't it? The Hellmouth has begun its semi-annual percolation.
Usually it blows around May.
Was it like this before? ltjust seems as if things are getting bad faster than we thought.
- We're a little ahead of schedule.
- I can't say I'm too surprised.
I knew I signed on for something, but, Buffy, I'm just a guy.
Granted, a cool and sexy vampire-fighting guy, but still.
- Don't forget "snappy dresser".
- Mm.
Thank you.
- But this is gonna get bigger than me.
- Yeah, it is.
That's why I've decided to give you this.
- What is it? - An emergency kit.
This bag belonged to my mother.
- A slayer keepsake.
I couldn't.
- Well, you have to.
Technically, it should have been passed down to you through the years.
After my mother died, I guess I just couldn't part with it.
Wow.
I don't know what's inside, but it has something to do with her power.
- Well, your power now.
- I don't know what to say.
Try "Thank you, Principal Wood.
" - Thank you, Principal Wood.
- Ah, call me Robin.
And now I'd like to see where you work.
Here, actually.
This is my desk, and - these are my pencils.
- No.
Where you do your other work.
So, all the potential slayers - who keep popping up from every corner of the earth - were getting killed.
- By the First.
- Agents of.
We thought the Council could protect them, but no one protected the Council.
All their watchers were killed.
They've all been coming here since.
Nothing like the end of the world to bring us together.
It's heart-warming.
Anyway, this is it.
Command Central.
Where the hell have you been? This funnel cake is kicking my ass.
Yeah, I hear they're tricky.
Robin Wood, this is Andrew.
It's a pleasure.
Andrew is our Actually, he's our hostage.
I like to think of myself more as a "guestage.
" So, you hold him here against his will? Well, he was evil, and people got killed, and now he bakes.
- It's a thing.
- Oh.
Could we try to just keep our secret headquarters a little bit secret? Keep bringing people in, they'll see everything.
They'll see the big board.
Andrew, we don't have a big board.
- I made it myself.
- I wouldn't have guessed.
This is us.
And this represents the First in various incarnations.
And there's no pattern to the naked eye yet, but the instant one emerges, I'm on it.
Where do we put our receipts? You'll have to forgive Andrew.
Or not.
Your call.
We do have a lot more working for us than just the "big board".
So I see.
Huh! Punch block combo! - Huh! - Cross block kick! - Huh! - Chamber your energy.
Punch block combo! - Huh! - Hold it! What do you call that, potential? In the field, you are dead.
- Drop and give me 20.
- 20 what? Push-ups, maggot! I love this job! Did you see that? I called that girl a maggot.
- Hi.
Who the hell are you? - An ally.
So, what do you think? My girls ready to kick some ass, or what? - Looking strong.
- But? I'm just not sure the First has an ass you can actually, you know, kick.
- Guess we'll see.
- Principal Wood, hi! It's so weird seeing you outside of school.
What are you waving at, potential? - Attention! - Huh! - You're right.
- Rising sun! - It's not enough.
- That's not what I said, Buffy.
- It's an impressive group of recruits.
- They're not recruits.
Recruits are recruited.
These girls were chosen.
You're doing the best you can with what you've got.
They're not all gonna make it.
Some will die, and nothing I can do will stop that.
Oh, hi.
Hey.
Well, Buffy, I see that our preparation for the school pep dance cheer drill contest are coming along.
- Bring it on! - It's OK, I filled him in on everything.
Oh, thank God! If I had to explain all these weapons, I had nothing.
Buffy tells me you've been - Oh, how shall I put it? - experimenting.
- With the magics? - Oh! Yeah.
Nothing too heavy, though.
Just the lighter, safer stuff.
If Kennedy asks, her pointy stuff's right there.
See you inside.
So much cooler than Snyder.
- Did she really almost destroy the world? - Yep.
- Remind me not to make her crabby.
- Might be better if you did.
How's that work? Oh, I don't know.
It's just The First is coming, and then look at us: the army.
We've got a bunch of fighters with nothing to hit, a wicca who won't-a, and the brains of our operation wears oven mitts.
Well, you're redefining the job, Buffy, and that takes guts.
This isn't your full arsenal anyway.
Show me the vampire.
- But you just let him go.
- After saving your life.
For now.
That was one of D'Hoffryn's killers.
He won't stop coming till he kills me.
Yet here you are, walking, talking, annoying.
You fought like a wimpire, with the lifting and running.
Why not kill him? Anya, think.
I fight, demon boy gets lucky, I get knocked out, you get killed.
True? We both know the best way of saving your life was to keep you with me, away from danger.
No need to thank me.
I'm just the one who beat him off.
"Repelled him" would perhaps be the better phrase.
- Demon.
- Figured.
- I hope we're not intruding.
- Not a bit.
What brings our good principal to this neck of the gloom? I'm showing him our operation.
Us.
Fine by me.
Big fight against evil coming up.
The more good guys, the longer we all live.
Is that what you are? A good guy? I haven't heard any complaints.
Well, I've heard a few, but then I killed whoever spoke up, and that was that.
- He's joking.
- No, he's not.
No, I'm not.
But that's the old me I'm talking about.
- Why don't you tell me about that? - Not much to tell.
I've changed.
Oh, now that you have a soul.
Yeah.
That was a big deal.
Very private.
What, are you just telling everyone now? Oh, come on, Spike.
Don't blame Buffy.
I asked.
Right, the educator.
Yeah, I went to great lengths.
Lots of trouble, and now I'm unique.
Well, more or less.
Got myself a soul, whatever that means.
- And how's that working out for you? - In progress.
Well, you've had some time.
- You've been in Sunnydale, what? - Years.
- How many? - A few.
- Before that? - Around.
- I think we'd better get back upstairs.
- Right.
Give him the full tour.
You don't want to miss a look at her weapons' chest.
I looked inside that emergency bag of Principal Wood's.
- And? - Smelled weird.
Kinda like Grandma's closet, but worse.
I didn't know that was possible.
Anything we could use? Trinkets, weapons, one very large textbook.
Translation's gonna be a bitch, but Do you know ancient Sumerians did not speak English? They're worse than the French.
Anything else? Yeah.
A box.
A big, fat, unopenable box.
I bet the big deal about this emergency bag is in the box.
Good.
Keep on it.
Don't you have any real homework? - You mean schoolwork? - Yes.
I've got a system.
It's called flunking out.
Just kidding.
I'm paying someone to do it.
I'm kidding.
I love to see your eyeballs change colour when you think What happened? We heard Dawn, get a knife.
I'm cutting her down.
Good thinking.
But, on the other hand, why rush? Up or down, I'll still be dead.
- You're not Chloö.
- Neither is she any more.
Now she's just Chloö's body.
- What did you do to her? - Nothing! We just talked all night.
Well, I did most of the talking, but Chloö is I'm sorry, was a good listener.
Till she hanged herself.
Like when you called her a maggot.
- She really heard that.
- Don't listen to it, any of you.
- It's the First.
- Oh, let 'em.
Chloö offed herself because she knew what you're not getting.
I'm coming.
You're going.
All this? It's almost over.
- We'll be here.
- All of you? But wait.
I thought (Buffy's voice) "They're not all gonna make it.
" "Some will die, and there's nothing I can do that will stop it.
" (Chloë's voice) Hey, I didn't say it.
But I'll be seeing all of you.
One by one.
TTFN.
- What's "TTFN"? - It's "ta-ta for now.
" - It's what Tigger says when he leaves.
- Chloö loved Winnie the Pooh.
Dawn, where's that knife? Is everyone here? All accounted for.
Anyone want to say a few words about Chloö? Let me.
Chloö was an idiot.
Chloö was stupid.
She was weak.
And anyone in a rush to be the next dead body I bury, it's easy.
Just think of Chloö, and do what she did.
And I'll find room for you next to her and Annabelle.
I'm the Slayer.
The one with the power.
And the First has me using that power to dig our graves.
I've been carrying you - all of you - too far, too long.
- Ride's over.
- You're out of line! - No, she's not.
- You're gonna let her talk to you like that? Willow, she's not even the most powerful one in this room.
With you here, she's not close.
You're new here, and you're wrong.
Because I use the power that I have.
The rest of you are just waiting for me.
Well, yeah, but only because you kinda told us to.
You're our leader, as in "follow the".
From now on I'm your leader, as in "do what I say".
Jawohl! But let's not try to forget, we're also your friends.
- I'm not.
- Then why are you here? Aside from getting rescued, what is it that you do? I provide much-needed sarcasm.
That would kinda be my job, actually.
- You're here because you're scared.
- Same goes for everyone in this room.
Fine.
Anya, all of you, be as scared as you'd like, just be useful while you're at it.
Come on, Buffy.
You know everyone here's doing everything they can.
And the First isn't impressed.
It already knows us.
It knows what we can do, and it's laughing.
You wanna surprise the enemy? Surprise yourselves.
Force yourself to do what can't be done, or else we are not an army.
We're just a bunch of girls waiting to be picked off and buried.
- Where are you going? - Out.
Since I'm neither a girl, nor waiting.
All this speechifying doesn't really apply to me, does it? Fine.
Take a cellphone.
That way, if I need someone to get weepy or wailed on, I can call you.
- If you've got something to say - Just said it.
You keep holding back, you might as well walk.
Holding back? You're blind.
I've been here, right in it.
Fighting, scrapping.
Since you got your soul back? As a matter of fact, I haven't been quite relishing the kill the way I used to.
- You were a better fighter then.
- I did this for you! The soul, the changes.
It's what you wanted.
What I want is the Spike that's dangerous.
The Spike that tried to kill me when we met.
Oh, you don't know how close you are to bringing him out.
I'm nowhere near him.
Dawn, get the potentials upstairs and break out that emergency kit.
- What are you gonna do? - I'm declaring an emergency.
- We thought you'd want to be here.
- You thought right.
The emergency bag has some neat stuff in it.
Weapons, charms, advanced reading assignments.
Yeah, cool stuff, but we've seen it all before.
Not this.
What's inside it? I don't know.
It hasn't been opened since Well, since now.
Puppets.
That's it.
The First hates puppets.
Now if we can just airlift Kermit and Miss Piggy into town, the First'll be a-running.
- Those are Muppets.
- And these things are shadow-casters.
You put them in motion, and they tell you a story.
It says you can'tjust watch, you have to see.
- What the hell does that mean? - It's cryptic.
I don't like it.
Every time instructions get cryptic, someone gets hurt - usually me.
"You can'tjust watch, you have to see?" See what? That's where all my fancy translating skills break down, but I think it's an origin myth.
- The story of the very first slayer.
- I saw her.
You saw the First Slayer? The other night, in my dream.
It's gotta mean something, right? OK.
According to this, I think, you put on those puppet guys one by one.
They cast shadows and the shadows tell the story.
"First, there is the earth.
" - (# tribal drumbeat) - What's that sound? - OK.
So far, so creepy.
- Hm.
OK.
"Then there came the demons.
" - "After demons, there came men.
" - (growling) - "Men found a girl.
" - (screaming) "The men took the girl to fight the demon - all demons.
" "They chained her to the earth.
" "And then" I can't read this.
- Something about darkness.
- What about darkness? It says you cannot be shown.
"You cannotjust watch, but you must see.
" "See for yourself, but only if you'll make the exchange.
" When did you get so good at Sumerian? It's not in Sumerian any more.
(noises intensify) But what does it mean? - It means I have to go in there.
- No, it doesn't! Where does it say that? It doesn't! You don't know what you're exchanging.
- You don't even know if you're ready yet.
- That's the point.
We don't know where you're going or how we'll get you back.
- Buffy, you can't! - How will we get you back? Find a way.
- She's gone.
- Huh! What was that about an exchange? This must be the exchange student.
Willow! Use your magic.
Send him back! Um trying.
Redi! Weapon! Get out of here, all of you.
Unless you wanna end up dead and useless.
What are you gonna do? What I do best.
- Are you injured? - Just hurt.
Don't make a case out of it.
- How about you? - I think we'll live.
Except maybe Spike.
Is getting thrown through the ceiling what he does best? - I'll go check on him.
- We've got bigger problems than that.
- Yeah.
Demon loose, no slayer.
- We need Buffy.
You gotta get her back.
Looks like it's spell o'clock.
Which spell? I mean, didn't you see that thing? You expect to reopen the portal without sending Willow off the deep end? - Thanks for your support.
- It's true.
- We're going to have to find another way.
- There isn't, and Buffy knew it.
- I've gotta get her back.
- We don't even know where she went.
Well, guess that worked.
(Xander) What's the book say? Not much.
Once Buffy left, it got a little tougher to read.
- Oh.
- It's OK.
We'll start with what we know.
Great, so far we know Jack about squat.
- You've got the magic, use it.
- I don't even know what magic to use.
Why notjust try all 32 flavours? Worst thing that happens is you go brunette.
That's not the worst thing that can happen.
She's right.
And you know we have a choice.
We can risk Willow's life and the rest of ours to get Buffy back, or we leave her out there.
If we play it safe back here, Buffy could stay lost.
You missed her "everyone sucks but me" speech.
Let her find her own way back.
The First is already up and running.
Every second Buffy's not here is a chance for it to show up and rip us to pieces.
- Willow, how would you get Buffy back? - I don't even know.
But if another witch was to do it, where would she start? - Physics, principles, basic laws.
- Such as? Conservation of energies.
You can't really create or destroy anything, just transfer.
- I'm sorry, are you helping? - No.
But I'm not going in the wrong direction.
- Magic works off physics.
- Not without a catalyst.
To transfer energies, you need a conduit.
- Like a kraken's tooth.
- Yeah, skin of Draconis, - ground up Baltic stones, something.
- OK.
Good.
Plus an exchange, like you said.
I'm thinking a slayer for a demon.
Right.
If we want Buffy back, we have to find that demon and send it through.
- It matter if it's dead or alive? - (Spike) I vote dead.
The Slayer's counting on you, Willow.
Get cracking on that portal.
And don't be stingy with the mojo.
The demon's mine.
Hate to say it, "Big Bad", but you look like you can barely stand.
We're trained.
And the only thing we know for sure about this demon is it kicked your ass.
It did, at that.
Where are you going? Something I need.
Hello? I'm Buffy, I'm the Slayer.
Good.
That's good then.
Um We have bigger issues to deal with, but how'd I understand anything you guys just said? I know.
Ancient magics.
I just thought it was neat.
The neat of itjust left.
End of what? Latest.
You mean latest guardian.
OK, I have a First to fight, OK? So just tell me what I need to know.
I came to learn.
You know what I think? I'm not really here.
None of this is actually happening.
This is like a play.
Like some shadow play.
Some non-reality re-enactment hologramy This is gonna help us how? The sand forms a circle, the circle acts as a barrier, and the barrier contains the portal.
Now what? We hold hands and chant "Kumbaya" or something? Maybe.
Till we get the magics up and running, I'm working on my best guess here.
- Maybe we should wait.
- For what? Spike.
See if he can get that demon.
No, I don't think we should wait right now.
Opening a portal this size could take days.
Better get started.
I think I might pee my pants.
You can do it.
The magics, not the pants thing.
OK.
Via temporis, iam clamo ad te, via spatii te jubeo aperire.
Aperi! Put on some coffee.
This could take awhile.
(screams) What is this? I thought I brought me here.
Listen, you guys.
I'm already the Slayer, bursting with power.
Really don't need more.
(drumming) This is how you? No! By making me less human? (screams) Make this stop! No, this isn't the way.
- Where you going? - Got a job.
- Nice coat.
Where'd you get it? - New York.
Via, concursus, tempus, spatium, audi me ut imperio.
Screw it! Mighty forces, I suck at Latin, OK? But that's not the issue.
I'm the one in charge, and I'm telling you open up, portal, now! - It's not happening.
- She's getting it.
Or something's getting her.
Back up a little.
No! Oh, come on now, nancy.
Call yourself a demon? I thought you were up for a proper fight.
Now we're talking.
Yeah! You think I came all this way to get knocked up by some demon dust? I can't fight this.
I know that now.
But you guys? You're just men.
Just the men who did this to her.
Whoever she was before the First Slayer.
No, you don't understand! You violated that girl.
Made her kill for you because you're weak, pathetic, and you obviously have nothing to show me.
I don't know your feelings, big guy, but to me, a tussle like that is good for the soul.
I knew it.
It's always the staff.
Tell me something I don't know.
Hey.
You OK? - You've been kinda quiet since - You sucked the life out of me? Yeah, since then.
Look, it's important that you know what I am, what I'm like when I'm like that.
I thought it would be, I don't know, cool somehow.
Itjust hurt.
Yeah, I'm really sorry.
It's just you were the most powerful person nearby, and well, that's how it works.
That's how I work.
I got that.
You told me.
I'll see you in the morning.
How you doing? Thanks for bringing me back.
Again.
That's what I do.
I was hard on you guys today.
Oh, it's all right.
You needed to be.
Although Twinkies and Kisses? Also peachy motivational tools.
You OK? I think I made a mistake.
What? Those men that I met.
You know, the shadow men? They offered me more power, but I didn't like the loophole.
So you turned it down? It's OK, Buffy.
We'll get by.
We always do.
I don't know.
- They showed me - Showed you what? That the First Slayer was right.
It isn't enough.
Why, Buffy? What did you see? What did they show you? Urgh! Argh!