Robot Chicken s07e16 Episode Script

Even on cloudy days, Pastryville always had a ray of sunshine, and her name was Granny Gramcrackers.
Remember when she knit your favorite scarf, Black Cherry Pie? I wear it every day, Raspberry Parfait.
And, Fudge Turnover, remember when she fixed your leaky roof? She got heatstroke and fell into the hedges.
While you watched "Tango & Cash" on Netflix! Yes.
While I watched "Tango & Cash" on Netflix.
And, Buttermilk Biscuits, I remember when Granny drove you all the way to the big city to get No.
Nope.
Mnh-mnh.
your tonsils out? Yeah, you're unborn tonsils.
Now then if there are no more speakers Great! Then, in conclusion W-we were just wrapping up here, Bitch Pudding.
I remember Granny.
I remember her smile.
I remember how much she loved baking sugar cookies.
Ahh! But most of all, I remember her rank-ass old-lady farts.
Oh, god.
This bitch had no sense of smell, no sense of hearing, so all day long, she was like "Pbht!" "Pbht!" "Pbht!" "Pbht!" "Pbht!" "Pbhhhhhht" Okay.
That's enough And when you're a hundred years old, I guess panties are just an afterthought.
I mean, raise your hand if you never saw Granny airing out the ark of the covenant.
I hope Granny is in heaven, but she had a gambling addiction, so Satan might be doing her up the butt.
Knock twice if Satan's doing you up the butt, Granny.
I love it up the butt from Satan, everybody! You rule, Granny! Ha ha! Now hit my fucking theme song! Now, then Bitch Puddin'.
Blam! Yeah, suck it.
You have saved my village! Aah! You mean my village.
Aw! Unh! Augh.
Where? Oh, sounds like my cargo just woke up! Hey! You're that damn bird that delivers our mail.
You bet your feathers.
But tonight, I'm gettin' paid to make a special delivery.
Neither rain nor sleet nor snow will keep your ass out of that volcano.
Adios, Bitch Pudding.
Glurk! Ooh! Aah! You flying turd! Who hired you? You kill me, we both die.
Good point, jizz cloth.
But, on the other hand Ow! Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhh! Ohhhhhhhh! Fucky! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fucky! Fuck! Fuck! Ow! Ow! Fuck! Fuckity fuck! Ow! Oh! Ow! Oh! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuuuuuuuuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuckity! Fuck! Fuck! Oh fuck! Fuck! Motherfucking motherfucker! Ow! Ow! Fuck me! Oh, god! Fucking fucking Shit! Ow! Fuck! Ohhh! Fuuuuuuuck! Who is she? Grandpappy will know.
Please, stop talking.
Your voice is irritating as shit! How rude! Well, she's not wrong.
Who is that? Welcome to Schlorptown, stranger! We are the Schlorps.
And my name is Grandpappy Schlorp.
Are you in charge of this shithole? You see anyone else with a beard around here? We should Schlorp the "Get to know you" song! No.
Swish! So sorry! Oh, god! I'm not gonna make it.
I'm not gonna make it.
I'm not gonna make it.
Aw.
I didn't make it.
Ow, you old bastard! There you go.
Good as new.
Ah, Schlorpette.
Is that the Schlorp nut soup for our guest? Yes, but this is the last of our Schlorp nuts.
They're all gone.
- Aww.
The last of the Schlorp nuts.
And with winter on its way This tastes like moose dick! I got to go home! Some asshole tried to kill me, so that asshole's gonna get my boot up his asshole.
With the Schlorp nuts gone, our village faces starvation.
You see, the nuts were stolen by the evil squirrel wizard on one tree hill.
It was called that before the show.
This squirrel sounds like a pussy.
Then perhaps we can make a deal.
Bring our nuts home and we help get your butt home.
Who dares disturb the sa Blam! Haungh, haungh, hungh! Lick my taco, Squirrel Wizard.
Give those dicks their nuts back! Bitch Pudding! That's not the Squirrel Wizard! Huh? Who the hell is it? Trevor? Trevor?! Oh, my god! Trevor! His life partner.
Yuh-oh.
Rrrrrrrrrrah! Aaaaaah! Squirrel alert! Squirrel alert! Rrrrrrrrrgh! Ohh! Suck on this! Suck on this! Suck on this! Ow! Ooh! Ow! Can't stay.
Gotta go.
Blam.
Stay and fight, coward! Ai! Ai! Ai! Ai! Ai! Whew.
Safe.
Oh, shit! They're getting massacred.
Who cares about those purple peckers? They never should have trusted me.
Or or helped me? And at that moment, Bitch Pudding's heart grew three sizes bigger.
Uh, metaphorically.
You know, you'll just have to take my word for it.
Die, you miserable Schlorps! And when you meet God, slap that motherfucker in the face, because existence is nothing but his cruel joke on all of us! Sorry, spunk sponge! The Schlorps are under my protection! Uh starting now! Ooh! Blick! - Oh! - Suck it! Oh! Blam! Blam! Blam! Blam! Blaaaam! Aaah! Aah, Trevor! Punch! Punch! Ba-ba-ba-blam! Unh! Trevor! My fuzzy little angel! Just do it! End me! Use any death spell you choose! Just say the magic words and end my pain! Abracadabra.
Agh! Eat shit.
My Schlorps Gone.
All gone.
As your champion, a eulogy is probably in order.
What can be said Ow! Huh? Where? What? On behalf of "Fuck You Airlines," go fuck yourself.
Aaaaaaaaagh! Oooooh! Unh! Unh! Unh! I-I I'm home.
What the fuck! Toss Bitch Pudding in the volcano and win a prize! Volcano-fried Bitch Pudding on a stick.
I hate you, Bitch Puddin'! They were all in on it! The whole town tried to kill me?! The first annual "Bitch Pudding Is Dead" Festival has been a rousing success! For generations to come, we will Hey, guys, do you smell smoke? Oh, shit! The door won't open! Aaaaaaah! All together, now.
One! Two! Three! Oh! Oh! Blam.
Remember when I said I'd shoot you last? I have absolutely no memory of that.
Must have been a fantasy I had when I was masturbating.
Fuck you, Bitch Pudding.
So that's my story.
I probably should have done a voiceover through the whole thing, but I didn't feel like it.
Now, the only question is what does the future hold? Bitch Pudding.
You have become a part of a larger Universe.
Blam! What a bitch.
Stupid monkey!