The Neighborhood (2018) s07e16 Episode Script

1
Uh, excuse me?
Are you the owner of this place?
Well, that depends.
Do you have a complaint or a compliment?
(CHUCKLES) No.
N Nothing but compliments.
Then, yes, I am the
owner, Calvin Butler.
Ah, Grant Yelvington.
And I'm on the mayor's Green
Business Initiative Council,
and I got to say,
this place is incredible.
How would you feel if we recognized you
in our new press release?
(LAUGHS) You can
recognize me all day long.
Well, the service here is amazing.
Did you know they give you free lattes?
Oh, in fact, I do.
I'm "they."
Marty Butler, co-owner.
(STAMMERS) Father and son!
I I should've known. (CHUCKLES)
Hey, you got your daddy's good looks.
Hey, watch out now.
You should see my other son.
Uh, so each bay has its
own charging thing, huh?
Uh, what what do you call those?
Oh It's uh, they're called the, uh,
nemo-tratonics 14, uh
It's the NEMA 14-50s.
And you have it set
up so you can upgrade
every car's software from one computer?
- Yes.
- No.
Well
To an extent.
Not even a little bit, no, no.
I love the way you two mix it up.
(LAUGHTER)
Oh, well, what in the
world is that thing?
What does that do?
Oh, uh, this detects dangerous
temperature variations
in electrical components.
Oh, well, I guess I've met
the real brains of the outfit.
Oh! (LAUGHS)
Grant Yelvington.
Courtney Pridgeon,
lead diagnostics engineer.
(CHUCKLES) Well, Courtney,
can you tell me what other
gizmos you're responsible for?
- Oh, Courtney just ordered
- You know what, you know,
we all, uh,
have the same knowledge, all of us.
Okay, Calvin, uh, what else you got?
Well, there is the, um
We have, um
uh
(STAMMERS) You know what?
I'm gonna let her say it.
That's called delegating.
Welcome to the block,
welcome to The Neighborhood ♪
Welcome to the hood. ♪
So should we do individual orders?
Oh, just order stuff.
- You know what I like.
- Oh, great.
- Oh, but nothing fried.
- Ooh, get the skewers, though.
- And I want dumplings.
- With peanut sauce.
- But I want them steamed
- And get me some hot noodles.
- Not the cold noodles.
- And can you get fried
and regular rice?
We're gonna do individual orders.
- Just order stuff.
- No, yeah, just order it.
Hey, Mama, I need to
borrow Pop's lucky cuff links.
Okay, well, what is the occasion?
Well, the creative writing
program at USC is hosting
a meet-and-greet so we
can connect with book agents.
Oh, well, what do they do?
Well, if you don't have an agent,
no publisher will even read your work.
And I am very excited
about my new story.
Okay. (CHUCKLES)
- You got a new story?
- Yeah.
You got to let me read it.
Oh, sure, Dave. I'll email you a copy.
Great. You know, I will read it ASAP.
It's always good to have
fresh eyes on your work.
Okay, cool, but just so you know,
it's already been submitted.
Before you got my feedback?
I don't know why he asked me to read it.
Dave, he didn't ask you to read it.
Marty, I mean, you
Dad, you literally
hogged the camera space.
Hey, guys, we're ordering Chinese.
Let me know what you want.
Can't you just order a bunch
of stuff and we all just share it?
Oh, share? You mean, like, credit?
Oh, wait, you don't
know how to share that.
We are doing individual orders.
Oh, well, I want shrimp spring rolls,
but I don't want just that.
You know what, I will
take some potstickers.
You know what, I'm gonna
go with the fried wontons.
I have yet to hear an entree, people.
(OVERLAPPING CHATTER)
Enough!
I'm gonna order food,
and you all will eat it.
(PHONE CHIMES)
Huh.
That's weird.
What's weird?
That Grant guy from the Fusebox today.
He just messaged me on LinkedIn.
He wants to discuss a
"business opportunity."
Let me see.
Huh.
Okay, generic profile, no picture.
It doesn't say anything
about the mayor's office.
Huh.
Do you think that guy was spying on us?
Well, now that you said something, I do.
I mean, think about it.
He's smiling,
and asking to take
pictures of our equipment.
Yeah, our thermal imaging system.
Yeah, I mean, what
guy comes into your shop
and starts asking you all
about your thermalities?
That's not even a word.
Look, that's super shady.
So, obviously, I won't take the meeting.
No, no, no. You're
gonna take that meeting.
Yeah, we got to figure
out what this guy's up to.
Mm-hmm, and then
we gonna get all up in his thermalities.
I mean, the nerve of that dude.
(STAMMERS) And asked
me in front of my ther
I got all my employees in there,
and he going, "What's your thermality?"
What's your therm? "I said," Boy,
you don't know me like that!"
Ah, Malcolm Butler.
Lisa Chatsworth, Vision Literary.
Oh, nice to meet you.
I'm so grateful you
guys are taking this
What's your deal?
Nutshell.
- Uh, nutshell?
- Mm.
Well, I I hope to
be a novelist one day.
Oh, no, I'm so sorry. I
mean what's your thing?
Your hook.
My, uh, my hook?
Yeah, you are the oldest
student here by a decade.
Oh, veteran.
Thank you for your service.
I am not a veteran. Don't salute me.
Okay, I've got it.
You are a recovering addict.
Reborn, finding redemption
through education.
I love it.
No to all of that.
Look, until recently, I
was a baseball coach.
- Oh!
- Yeah.
That's that's nothing.
Frankly.
Sports and books,
it's like oil and water.
Sports people don't read.
I'm a sports person and I read.
Oh, I've offended you.
I forget how sensitive artists are.
Okay, Malcolm.
Your story is "The Devil's Testimony."
Great title.
- Thank you.
- Exorcist stuff?
- Nope.
- Post-apocalyptic?
How about you read it?
Oh, okay.
Making me work for it.
I love it.
Oh, is that Malcolm's story?
It's great, right?
I'm so happy for him.
Gemma, this is not good.
Dave, come on.
It's natural to feel envy
when your friend becomes a writer,
but can't you try to be happy for him?
Envy?
What are you talk?
Gemma, I'm a writer, too.
Of course you are.
If I'm not a writer, why
do we have 75 copies
of my self-published book in our house?
I have no idea.
I just think we should
be supportive of Malcolm.
I, for one, loved his story.
Yes, I did, too.
The first time I read
it when it was called
Gone Girl.
What are you saying?
I'm saying it's the exact same story.
Now I know Malcolm would never
plagiarize something on purpose, but
don't you remember Gone Girl?
It's about the missing woman who
Who frames her husband
for her own murder.
Oh, damn.
Well, we have to tell him
before he shows it to agents.
I knew Malcolm should
have waited for my feedback!
Okay, he's still not here.
Can you hear me?
Testing. Testing.
Yeah, Silver Spoon. We've got you
loud and clear here at HQ.
You've got the Big Battery
and the Small Battery right here.
We're listening in.
Over and out. Big 10-4.
Dad, she is not a truck driver.
Courtney. (CHUCKLES)
I can't tell you how glad
I am that you took me up
on my little invitation.
Uh, Courtney Pridgeon,
this is my associate,
Jim O'Doherty.
- We call him Big Dog.
- (LAUGHS)
It's it's a long story. (LAUGHS)
I have a big dog.
Oh, is that why?
Oh. All right, all right. (CHUCKLES)
Courtney.
My name is not Grant Yelvington.
It's Grant Grinderlin, and
I don't work for the mayor.
What?
No way. (CHUCKLES) Are
you being serious right now?
- She's laying it on too thick.
- Okay, yeah, yeah.
We've got to pull her out of there.
(STAMMERS) We can't do it now.
GRANT: Big Dog and I work
in new ventures for a little
company you might've heard of.
Motor Boys.
(GROANS) Motor Boys.
I hate them. You know,
they were my biggest
competition when I ran the Pit Stop,
and now, they're coming after me again.
Dad, you are spitting all over me!
Courtney, we see untapped
potential in the EV market,
and when I see untapped potential,
I can't help tapping.
Tap. Tap. Tap. Somebody stop me.
It can't be done. Can't stop tapping.
Now, don't misunderstand
me. Uh, your Fusebox, it's cute,
but it's bush league. Small potatoes.
A mom-and-pop shop. (LAUGHS)
Mom-and-pop? A
mom-and-pop? You know what?
I'll pop you and your big dog.
Dad, Dad, Dad. Listen,
I think he's laying out
their business plan.
GRANT: We're getting into the
EV repair business in a big way.
Motor Boys style.
You know that old Bed Bath &
Beyond you passed on Lincoln?
We're about to lease that space.
It's gonna be the first
Motor Boys Volt Zone,
and we want you in on the ground floor.
Wow. But why me?
You have a master's degree
in electrical engineering.
You worked at JPL.
Help settle a bet for me.
That battery health check system,
that had to be yours.
(CHUCKLES) Well, yes, it was.
Ah! You owe me a Coke, Big Dog.
Reckon I do.
Now, did you get any
credit for that, Courtney?
Not really, but it's
not about the credit.
Oh, really?
Well, I guess it's not
about the titles either.
They got you at lead
diagnostics engineer?
That's a dadgum crime.
Courtney, someone
with your qualifications
should be in charge
of your own division.
But at the end of the day, we all know
what it's really about.
Tell her, Big Dog.
Dadgum respect.
It is.
It is about respect, Big Dog.
Sometimes I feel taken for granted.
Do you guys know I don't even
have a dadgum parking space?
(GASPS) Oh, good Lord.
- Criminal.
- GRANT: Look, um,
I don't want to overstep, but, um,
we'd like to offer you a package.
He's offering her a package.
Dad, wait, wait, wait.
She's probably not even
gonna look at the package.
It wouldn't hurt to look at the package.
She's looking at the package.
She's looking at the package.
Wow.
Wow? She just wowed the package.
Well, it it it could be a bad wow.
Son, you don't wow a bad package.
- Hey.
- Hey. What are you two doing out here?
- We're looking for Malcolm.
- Oh.
By chance, did you read his story?
I did. Isn't it amazing?
It is, but have you ever
seen the movie Gone Girl?
Is that the one with Reese Witherspoon?
No, actually.
Oh. What's the one that
Reese Witherspoon is in?
That's kind of a hard question.
She's been in quite a few things.
I know, she's the one who
adopts that huge football player.
No, that's Sandra Bullock.
Oh. Well, she's the one
who worked for that mean lady
at the fashion magazine?
That's Anne Hathaway or Emily Blunt.
Uh No, I'm pretty sure
it's Reese Witherspoon.
Tina, how do you not
know any of these movies?
- Well, do you know Harlem Nights?
- BOTH: No.
- Drumline?
- No.
- Any of the Barbershops?
- No.
At least one Tyler Perry movie?
Uh, maybe once on cable.
But Tyler Perry is in Gone Girl.
He was?
Right, with pants on. Yes.
I did see that one. Oh, my God.
Malcolm totally ripped
off Tyler Perry's Gone Girl!
We can't let this happen.
We can't just lay down
and let Motor Boys take
our concept and blow it up.
I can't believe she would
actually entertain their offer.
She's not just an employee here.
We have a personal relationship.
She and I have had
sex nine and a half times.
Does that mean nothing?
Why are you counting?
I was bragging.
Well, we have to make
things right with her
because we're gonna need
her if we're gonna expand.
Expand? We're expanding?
Son, we have to.
You know, years ago,
when Motor Boys first moved in,
I sat on my hands.
I should've expanded the Pit Stop,
but I was too afraid
to take the big swing.
Yeah, but, Dad, now I'm
afraid to take a big swing.
Look, you don't have to be
afraid, son. (STAMMERS)
I don't say this often, but
you are damn good at your job.
Thank you. I really appreciate
you saying that, Dad, 'cause
(STAMMERS) Quiet, quiet, son.
Look, here's the thing,
there are more EVs on the West
Side of L.A. than anywhere else.
And we got to stake
our claim before they do.
Okay, so how are we gonna do that?
I'll show you how we gonna do that.
Yeah, we gonna
Yeah.
What the hell is that?
"Bed Bath Beyond."
We're gonna take their lease
and steal it right from under them.
Wait, won't that cost a fortune?
(SIGHS) Look, uh
I'll take some equity out of this place,
but you let me worry about that.
You just make sure that
we don't lose Courtney.
And, uh, son?
Stop counting how often
y'all have sex. It's weird.
Okay, we're almost to
double digits, but whatever.
ALL: Hi.
(WEAK CHUCKLE)
Uh, hi, everybody. What's happening?
Hey, Malcolm, so, uh,
you know the story you asked me to read?
I did not, but go ahead.
Okay, well, you know, sometimes
writers can absorb things
without realizing it, right?
Exactly.
And even if you did it knowingly,
well, the writing world
is a real pressure cooker.
Believe me, I get that.
What the hell is he talking about?
Your story, Malcolm.
It's got the same plot as Gone Girl.
As what?
Eh, you know, the movie
with Reese Witherspoon.
For God sakes, Tina,
not every white actress
is Reese Witherspoon.
Prove it!
What? How am I even
supposed to respond to that?
Okay. Okay.
The point is, Gone Girl is about a woman
who fakes her own murder
to frame her husband.
What?
How? I
I've never even heard of that movie.
We're sorry, Malcolm.
We just wanted you to know
before you let an agent see it.
Ah, it's too late, Dave.
I have a meeting in an hour
with an agent who's reading it.
Man, this is gonna be humiliating.
Well, you know, I mean, none
of this would've been an issue
if you'd just waited for
me to give you feedback.
In!
I'm sorry, what?
In! I'm in!
Yeah what are you in?
The Malcolm Butler business.
I read your story. Brilliant. Chills.
Let's do this!
Okay, look. Let's, uh,
slow down for a beat, all right?
- Have a seat.
- Okay.
Look, Lisa, there is something
that you should know.
It turns out that my story
completely by accident, I had no idea
but it has some similarities to
to something called Gone Girl.
(MANIACAL LAUGHTER)
Some similarities?
Malcolm, it's Black Gone Girl!
That's why I love it.
It shows me you know
how to read the marketplace,
but you also know how to
change things up just enough
to avoid getting sued.
But that is not how it happened.
I never read the book or saw the movie.
Man, this is hard. I really
want to say yes to you
because I have got a lot on the line.
I just blew up my baseball career.
But if the only reason
you want to sign me is
'cause you think I'm good at
copying other people's work,
well, then I'm probably
still gonna say yes.
But I really don't want that to be true.
Wow. Okay.
Look, Malcolm, I admit, I
was impressed when I thought
you were just a skilled borrower.
But if this story, this great story,
came out of you?
Well, that's a million
times more impressive.
A million is a lot. (CHUCKLES)
Okay, settle down. A thousand.
So I'm in. Are you in?
What the hell? I'm in.
Yes! We need to celebrate. (LAUGHS)
- Okay.
- We need champagne.
You. Champagne.
This is a coffee house.
I'll order delivery.
I have the high ground!
Oh! (NERVOUS CHUCKLE)
Hey Courtney.
Hey Marty.
You were great today.
You were so great, so
great, my dad actually thought
you were seriously
considering taking that job.
Why wouldn't I consider it?
Those guys saw how valuable
I am here, and they respect it.
And they made me a real solid offer.
How solid?
You know what? It doesn't matter.
I'll match it.
Per year?!
That that is quite solid.
They know what I'm worth.
So do I.
I'll still match it.
You will?
Yes. My dad and I
are taking a big swing.
We're opening up a whole new Fusebox.
And the thought of us doing
that without your brilliance
and expertise
I need you. W like
We we need you.
The company needs you.
The, like, the the
Fusebox family needs
You know what I'm trying to say?
- Yeah, I know.
- Okay.
I know. (CHUCKLES, SIGHS)
And thank God.
That Big Dog guy?
He invited me to Texas
to go boar hunting.
Boar hunting? (LAUGHS)
Okay, all right.
I see teeth, so this
must be a good sign.
Well, Dad, you were
right, I am good at my job.
Turns out I am quite
charming and persuasive.
Yes. And how could I say no
when you guys are gonna
match the Motor Boys offer?
(LAUGHS)
The "wow"?
The "wow."
Oh, uh, how how much
"wow" are we talking?
Right there.
- Per year?!
- Yeah.
Wow. Wow!
Wow
(CRYING): Wow