Robot Chicken s07e17 Episode Script
Batman Forever 21
It's alive! 7x17 - Batman Forever 21 Off to Neverland! Come on, nana! Yay! Now, fantastic fools, you shall feel the wrath of Doom! Sheesh, Doom, why the heck are you so grouchy all the time? Yes! The finishing touch.
Now the world will tremble when - they look upon Dr.
Doom! - Dr.
Doom, wait.
The mask is not Sweet lord in heaven! Oh, wait.
The mask is upside down.
Hold still, Doctor.
- Okay, once more with feeling.
- You sons of - Let us not delay.
- Yes, the codpiece remains.
What did you did you say "codpiece"? - Clock out, guys! - Oh, the codpiece is upside down.
What did you Sorry about your dick, dude.
You're going to prison, Sinestro.
No! - We love him! - Sorry, green fool.
Your ring won't affect anything yellow, so I adopted - a bunch of Asian kids.
- "A," that's incredibly racist, and, "B," that's not how my ring works.
I know, I know, but the more I thought about it, the more I fell in love with the idea.
I adore these little scamps.
We love you, Mr.
Sinestro! Ohh, look at 'em! Hi.
I'm a centaur half man, half horse.
Please, do your part to help keep my people alive.
- [bleep.]
a horse.
- # Sexy # sexy horses are sexy you should [bleep.]
a horse horses are sexy you should [bleep.]
a horse right now horses are sexy you should [bleep.]
a horse horses are sexy you should [bleep.]
a horse right now sexy Bear Grylls here.
Today, I'm gonna show you how to survive in a truly exotic environment.
Behind me are Matt Dillon, Neve Campbell, and Denise Richards from the movie "Wild things.
" What you want to do is distract Matt Dillon by talking about how good he was in "Drugstore cowboy.
" Then you finger bang the girls under the water while the jets - hide it all.
- Who are you? You know, you were just incredible - in "Drugstore cowboy.
" - Oh.
Oh, my gosh, this is the best hot tub ever.
Ooh, I'm really branching out from TV! And remember, a bird in the hand is worth a hand in two bushes.
Dr.
Stone to Houston in the blind.
Is anyone there? Please? Please, you're my only hope.
Hey, it's time for dick wax and the fridge in the morning - Hello? Can you hear me? - Hey, hot tits.
- You're on with dick wax and the fridge.
- Listen, I'm an astronaut stranded in space.
A-actually, I'm more of a medical doctor than an astronaut who, some would say, had no business up here in the first place.
Uh-oh, sounds like someone's a little cuckoo for cocoa puffs! I'd let her suck on my cocoa puffs.
Oh, the fridge, you son of a bitch! Listen! My name is Dr.
Ryan Stone.
- I need to reach NASA.
- Well, my name is Margaret Thatcher, and I need some balls in my mouth.
Shut the [bleep.]
up, you morons! Easy there, Dr.
Bone.
We'll connect you with NASA if you can name the famous singer - who had a nip slip yesterday.
- I don't know.
I've been in space this whole week.
Unh, unh, unh! No nip slip, no NASA.
Fine.
Was it Beyoncé? It was Beyoncé! You know your nip slips! We'll connect you with NASA now.
- NASA headquarters.
Houston.
- Oh, thank god.
- This is Dr.
Rya - Boom! You just got fridged! Oh [bleep.]
it.
You are dead, asshole! - Oh, yeah? - Aah, like a good neighbor, - state farm is there! - With state farm's peace! Wh-What? You messed with the wrong guy! We'll be holding an election to determine Papa Smurf's second in command, and since I'm the smartest, I know you'll be choosing me.
This is nothing short of betrayal.
These blue buffoons have no idea with whom they're trifling.
Hell, they don't even realize I've landed on my head so many times, I've lost my moral compass and now speak with a Southern accent.
Now to smurf the pawns on the smurfing board.
- Brainy Smurf? - I simply had to express my admiration to you, Gargamel.
Even though your villainous plots threaten my people, I've always appreciated their cunning.
Wow.
I-I didn't realize how much I - needed to hear that.
- I only wish there was someone that could help you succeed by giving you the location of Smurf village.
And now in three, two, one.
- Wait! You could tell me.
- Smurfmate.
My dear, it appears I've seduced you.
- And now I want a favor.
- Gee, I don't know if I should Help you, Brainy.
Ohh! Oh, my.
Oh, smurf it.
Smurf it right.
there.
- Oh, it's so good.
- Well, what did you expect? This is not Netflix.
Looks like someone had a secret past life, - Handy Smurf.
- I it's not my fault! My name is literally slang for "hand job.
" It took me years before I figured out the whole - handyman angle.
- As long as you build the invention we discussed, no one will be the wiser.
Oh, god.
The votes are in, and Papa Smurf's new second in command is Hefty Smurf! Oh, he's just so hot.
At last! I killed a geriatric, four-inch gnome! "Least likely to succeed," my ass, class of '53, huh? Are you double-crossing Uh, B-b-brainy did it! He saved us.
I demand we redo the vote.
And so, after a runoff vote, I am honored to announce that Papa Smurf's second in command is Hefty?! You just can't argue with how hot he is.
Impossible! I played the game perfectly.
I actually, you know what? He is pretty hot.
As a Neanderthal, my brain is way bigger than all you homo erectus.
Okay, Oog.
Don't have to keep bragging - how great you are.
- I think I do.
Yo, Ug, Durg, play them rocks.
unh ah my name is Oog spell it out O-o-g, that's original original gangsta, see? I'm next on the evolutionary tree your brain's the size of a chimpanzee my hunting skills are so fabulous I make homo erectus look like homo habilis Ohh! I spit the hot fire 'cause I invented fire then I ate the fire, and it burned my mouth so I screamed real loud and spat out the fire my advice yo, don't eat the fire check out my cave art, horses and bison here's me and your mama that detail is fly, son you don't understand modern art at all you wipe your ass with your hand and press it on the wa-wall so many girls want to rub my stub they come up to me and hit themselves with a club I got so many cave bitches I make rudimentary tools Homo sapiens, mother[bleep.]
Today was so fun, Baloo.
I loved that song you sang about - the bare necessities.
- And you get that "bare" not only means "basic," but also that I'm a bear, right? - Yes, we get the wordplay.
- Good night, Baloo.
Good night, little britches.
- Watch out, Baloo.
- Whoa! My tacos! - Hi, Rebecca.
- Hi, Baloo.
Ooh! What's wrong, Baloo? Oh, I'm having those dreams again about a life where I flew a plane and ate tacos and sometimes dressed in drag, nominally to solve crimes but mostly because I just enjoyed it.
That's ridiculous.
You've always been a bear in the jungle.
Who wants to be my dinner to - How did you do that, Baloo? - I don't know.
- He's catching on.
- Agent 754 is in danger of remembering his former life as a bush pilot and C.
I.
A.
asset.
Looks like our plan has fallen into a real "talespin.
" Tailspin, referring to both a plane flying out of control - and a crazy story.
- Yeah, we get the wordplay.
Louie.
You're the missing piece, Louie.
And now you're gonna tell me about my former life, you dirty [bleep.]
ape! - You mean project Blackwater? - Huh? They put black dye in the water and fed it to the bears in the hopes that it would allow them to pilot planes.
474 bears crash-landed.
It was terribly expensive.
You were the only bear that knew how to read an altometer.
- Altimeter.
- See?! And now that your memory's returned, you're a danger to them.
The things you know Show yourself! - Rebecca? - That's right.
It's me, Baloo.
I can explain everything, as - long as a bullet doesn't Aah! - No! It's payback time.
Drink, sir? - No, thanks.
- Are you sure? It'sBlackwater.
This is gonna be a real drag, by which I mean it'll be tedious and unpleasant, but, also, I am - a male wearing female garments.
- Yeah, we get the wordplay.
Now the world will tremble when - they look upon Dr.
Doom! - Dr.
Doom, wait.
The mask is not Sweet lord in heaven! Oh, wait.
The mask is upside down.
Hold still, Doctor.
- Okay, once more with feeling.
- You sons of - Let us not delay.
- Yes, the codpiece remains.
What did you did you say "codpiece"? - Clock out, guys! - Oh, the codpiece is upside down.
What did you Sorry about your dick, dude.
You're going to prison, Sinestro.
No! - We love him! - Sorry, green fool.
Your ring won't affect anything yellow, so I adopted - a bunch of Asian kids.
- "A," that's incredibly racist, and, "B," that's not how my ring works.
I know, I know, but the more I thought about it, the more I fell in love with the idea.
I adore these little scamps.
We love you, Mr.
Sinestro! Ohh, look at 'em! Hi.
I'm a centaur half man, half horse.
Please, do your part to help keep my people alive.
- [bleep.]
a horse.
- # Sexy # sexy horses are sexy you should [bleep.]
a horse horses are sexy you should [bleep.]
a horse right now horses are sexy you should [bleep.]
a horse horses are sexy you should [bleep.]
a horse right now sexy Bear Grylls here.
Today, I'm gonna show you how to survive in a truly exotic environment.
Behind me are Matt Dillon, Neve Campbell, and Denise Richards from the movie "Wild things.
" What you want to do is distract Matt Dillon by talking about how good he was in "Drugstore cowboy.
" Then you finger bang the girls under the water while the jets - hide it all.
- Who are you? You know, you were just incredible - in "Drugstore cowboy.
" - Oh.
Oh, my gosh, this is the best hot tub ever.
Ooh, I'm really branching out from TV! And remember, a bird in the hand is worth a hand in two bushes.
Dr.
Stone to Houston in the blind.
Is anyone there? Please? Please, you're my only hope.
Hey, it's time for dick wax and the fridge in the morning - Hello? Can you hear me? - Hey, hot tits.
- You're on with dick wax and the fridge.
- Listen, I'm an astronaut stranded in space.
A-actually, I'm more of a medical doctor than an astronaut who, some would say, had no business up here in the first place.
Uh-oh, sounds like someone's a little cuckoo for cocoa puffs! I'd let her suck on my cocoa puffs.
Oh, the fridge, you son of a bitch! Listen! My name is Dr.
Ryan Stone.
- I need to reach NASA.
- Well, my name is Margaret Thatcher, and I need some balls in my mouth.
Shut the [bleep.]
up, you morons! Easy there, Dr.
Bone.
We'll connect you with NASA if you can name the famous singer - who had a nip slip yesterday.
- I don't know.
I've been in space this whole week.
Unh, unh, unh! No nip slip, no NASA.
Fine.
Was it Beyoncé? It was Beyoncé! You know your nip slips! We'll connect you with NASA now.
- NASA headquarters.
Houston.
- Oh, thank god.
- This is Dr.
Rya - Boom! You just got fridged! Oh [bleep.]
it.
You are dead, asshole! - Oh, yeah? - Aah, like a good neighbor, - state farm is there! - With state farm's peace! Wh-What? You messed with the wrong guy! We'll be holding an election to determine Papa Smurf's second in command, and since I'm the smartest, I know you'll be choosing me.
This is nothing short of betrayal.
These blue buffoons have no idea with whom they're trifling.
Hell, they don't even realize I've landed on my head so many times, I've lost my moral compass and now speak with a Southern accent.
Now to smurf the pawns on the smurfing board.
- Brainy Smurf? - I simply had to express my admiration to you, Gargamel.
Even though your villainous plots threaten my people, I've always appreciated their cunning.
Wow.
I-I didn't realize how much I - needed to hear that.
- I only wish there was someone that could help you succeed by giving you the location of Smurf village.
And now in three, two, one.
- Wait! You could tell me.
- Smurfmate.
My dear, it appears I've seduced you.
- And now I want a favor.
- Gee, I don't know if I should Help you, Brainy.
Ohh! Oh, my.
Oh, smurf it.
Smurf it right.
there.
- Oh, it's so good.
- Well, what did you expect? This is not Netflix.
Looks like someone had a secret past life, - Handy Smurf.
- I it's not my fault! My name is literally slang for "hand job.
" It took me years before I figured out the whole - handyman angle.
- As long as you build the invention we discussed, no one will be the wiser.
Oh, god.
The votes are in, and Papa Smurf's new second in command is Hefty Smurf! Oh, he's just so hot.
At last! I killed a geriatric, four-inch gnome! "Least likely to succeed," my ass, class of '53, huh? Are you double-crossing Uh, B-b-brainy did it! He saved us.
I demand we redo the vote.
And so, after a runoff vote, I am honored to announce that Papa Smurf's second in command is Hefty?! You just can't argue with how hot he is.
Impossible! I played the game perfectly.
I actually, you know what? He is pretty hot.
As a Neanderthal, my brain is way bigger than all you homo erectus.
Okay, Oog.
Don't have to keep bragging - how great you are.
- I think I do.
Yo, Ug, Durg, play them rocks.
unh ah my name is Oog spell it out O-o-g, that's original original gangsta, see? I'm next on the evolutionary tree your brain's the size of a chimpanzee my hunting skills are so fabulous I make homo erectus look like homo habilis Ohh! I spit the hot fire 'cause I invented fire then I ate the fire, and it burned my mouth so I screamed real loud and spat out the fire my advice yo, don't eat the fire check out my cave art, horses and bison here's me and your mama that detail is fly, son you don't understand modern art at all you wipe your ass with your hand and press it on the wa-wall so many girls want to rub my stub they come up to me and hit themselves with a club I got so many cave bitches I make rudimentary tools Homo sapiens, mother[bleep.]
Today was so fun, Baloo.
I loved that song you sang about - the bare necessities.
- And you get that "bare" not only means "basic," but also that I'm a bear, right? - Yes, we get the wordplay.
- Good night, Baloo.
Good night, little britches.
- Watch out, Baloo.
- Whoa! My tacos! - Hi, Rebecca.
- Hi, Baloo.
Ooh! What's wrong, Baloo? Oh, I'm having those dreams again about a life where I flew a plane and ate tacos and sometimes dressed in drag, nominally to solve crimes but mostly because I just enjoyed it.
That's ridiculous.
You've always been a bear in the jungle.
Who wants to be my dinner to - How did you do that, Baloo? - I don't know.
- He's catching on.
- Agent 754 is in danger of remembering his former life as a bush pilot and C.
I.
A.
asset.
Looks like our plan has fallen into a real "talespin.
" Tailspin, referring to both a plane flying out of control - and a crazy story.
- Yeah, we get the wordplay.
Louie.
You're the missing piece, Louie.
And now you're gonna tell me about my former life, you dirty [bleep.]
ape! - You mean project Blackwater? - Huh? They put black dye in the water and fed it to the bears in the hopes that it would allow them to pilot planes.
474 bears crash-landed.
It was terribly expensive.
You were the only bear that knew how to read an altometer.
- Altimeter.
- See?! And now that your memory's returned, you're a danger to them.
The things you know Show yourself! - Rebecca? - That's right.
It's me, Baloo.
I can explain everything, as - long as a bullet doesn't Aah! - No! It's payback time.
Drink, sir? - No, thanks.
- Are you sure? It'sBlackwater.
This is gonna be a real drag, by which I mean it'll be tedious and unpleasant, but, also, I am - a male wearing female garments.
- Yeah, we get the wordplay.