Robot Chicken s07e19 Episode Script
Chipotle Miserables
It's alive! 7x19 - "Chipotle Misérables" - Whoo-hoooo! - Yaaaaay! That tree just came out of Ohhh, man! Shit! She's not br all right, now.
Let's [bleep.]
it.
You were driving! Time to make the donuts.
And soon it'll be time to glaze them.
Bop it! Twist it! Pull it! Bend it! Flip it! Extend it! - Load it! - What? Load it! Cock it! - Read it! - "Your target is Senator Carlton McDougall.
The 15th floor of the Gilmore building will provide - an unobstructed vantage point"? - Memorize it! Burn it! Aim it! Kill it! Kill it! Kill it! - Squeeze it! - I can't.
I can't do it.
Squeeze it! Squeeze it! - God, help me.
- Beat it! Hoof it! Book it! Who are you?! What are you doing?! - Fake it! - I-I was playing with my toy.
- I-I-I want my mommy.
- Why is your toy smoking? - End it! - Kid! - Gimme that bop it!, kid! - Let me go! Is the mastermind behind the assassination - in the courtroom today? - Zip it! - Suck it.
- Damn it! From the makers of "Les Misérables" comes another story of a prisoner in need of redemption.
Have mercy, my lord I'm not a man of violence I stole Big Macs to feed my family Silence! # From this day on, to bring you shame # your crime, Hamburglar, shall be your name Noooooooo! yes, that's your name there's no way to escape this and you're French fry killer - # and you're the nugget rapist # - A poultry in need of hope.
by the time this day ends, this one will do nicely 'cause a bird on the grill is worth two in the hand You're supposed to be a friend to all in McDonaldland you're a food that I serve fried to billions worldwide so you kinda shoulda seen this coming - # by the time the day ends # - Nooooo! Every performance riveting.
I had a dream that I would be more than a nugget made for dipping I promise I will save your child and keep her here among the living there's so much hope in my heart Oh, god! Every line of dialogue sung.
- Now, who will rise? - What? I mean # who will rise # No! Please, stop sucking! No, no, nooooooo! - Robble, Robble! - "Les Misérobble Robble.
" The velociraptor cages are open! They're the most dangerous dinosaurs of all.
- They attack in coordinated formations.
- My god! - Where did they learn that? - And a 5, 6, 7, 8! First velociraptor good! Second velociraptor yes! Third velociraptor! Third velociraptor? - Third velociraptor!! - Oh.
Is that me? Yes, Krystal.
You were late again.
Can someone get me a petrified mosquito with the DNA of a dinosaur with some goddamn rhythm?! - I'll learn it! - Yeah? You better.
Oh! And, Bartholomew, save some park engineer for the rest of us.
Do you want to be fed to a T.
Rex? 'Cause you look like a cow! - Why are you so mean?! - Ohhhh! I'm mean? Good one, Krystal.
Clever girl.
From the top, velocitards! And now back to "You can't do that on Flashdance.
" - Did you hear that? - Easy, babe.
It's not ghosts.
We probably just left the stereo on.
Fine.
I'll check it out.
Whoa! Look at this! They just float in midair.
They're so light and tasty.
Don't you eat those demon pellets! The ghost are trying to draw you in! Babe, relax.
I'm in total control.
Pac! Pac, open up! Pac, baby! I can't get in! Pac! Aaaaaaah! There is no more Pac.
Stay away! Never fear, for it is I, Super Grover! Ow! Ow! Ow! My god! Who are you? Dear god! Please stop hitting me! Ow! My vagina's about to splat out an entire human being! Ewwww! Joseph! Hello, dad! Looks like you really screwed the pooch, huh? Well, at least you're still in a good mood about things.
Oh, should I set you free? Hmmm.
Nahhh! You know, I always wondered about that optical scanner.
I bet it unlocks some really neat stuff.
Only one way to find out.
You were really onto something with that cybernetic chicken, but you always lacked a certain vision.
Spectators have already lined the runway in anticipation of billionaire Thomas Tull's return from deep space.
Breaking news President Obama has been taken hostage.
Details are still unclear, but w Hello, America! Very pleased to meet you! Oh! What's my name? My name is guy you're going to pay $100 billion! The United States doesn't pay ransoms, not even - for a President.
- Oh, they might not pay for a President no, no but how about all the presidents? - What are you gonna do kill us? - Worse.
Ewww! - My god! - Don't do this! Pay the man! Pay him whatever he - Oh! What's my name? - Bawk-kaw! Bawk-kaw! Bawk! Bawk-bawk-bawk-ba? Beh.
Bawk-bawk-bawk-beh! There's no plot.
It's just pop-culture references I don't understand.
Make it stop! Well, it's either this, or I force you guys to do kind - of a human-centipede dealie.
- I don't understand what you mean.
No, no, I'm picking up what he's laying down.
Ba-gawk! Well, well.
I wondered when you'd join the party.
Dark meat, I need you! What the [bleep.]
did you just say to me? Bawk, bawk.
Oh.
That evil chicken's name is "Dark meat.
" Winner, winner! Chicken dinner! Bawk, bawk, ba-gawk.
Bawk.
Bawk.
Bawk.
Bawk, bawk, ba-gawk.
- Bawk, bawk, b - Time for plan "B.
" I am morally opposed to plan "B.
" I am sexually aroused by all this talk about plan "B.
" You know, I figured why stop with chickens? Meet cyborg raccoon! Robot white-tailed deer! Robot homeless person! # Robohobo! # - I've lived too long.
- I have no free will! Ba-gawk! I don't wanna do this! I have you now! Bawk, bawk.
- Bawk.
Bawk.
- Ooh! - Baaawk! - Bawk.
Ow! Ow! So, uh, we still doing this centipede thing, or what? Well, looks like it's time to farm the nuts.
No! Nooooo! - Joseph! - No! No! Noooo!
Let's [bleep.]
it.
You were driving! Time to make the donuts.
And soon it'll be time to glaze them.
Bop it! Twist it! Pull it! Bend it! Flip it! Extend it! - Load it! - What? Load it! Cock it! - Read it! - "Your target is Senator Carlton McDougall.
The 15th floor of the Gilmore building will provide - an unobstructed vantage point"? - Memorize it! Burn it! Aim it! Kill it! Kill it! Kill it! - Squeeze it! - I can't.
I can't do it.
Squeeze it! Squeeze it! - God, help me.
- Beat it! Hoof it! Book it! Who are you?! What are you doing?! - Fake it! - I-I was playing with my toy.
- I-I-I want my mommy.
- Why is your toy smoking? - End it! - Kid! - Gimme that bop it!, kid! - Let me go! Is the mastermind behind the assassination - in the courtroom today? - Zip it! - Suck it.
- Damn it! From the makers of "Les Misérables" comes another story of a prisoner in need of redemption.
Have mercy, my lord I'm not a man of violence I stole Big Macs to feed my family Silence! # From this day on, to bring you shame # your crime, Hamburglar, shall be your name Noooooooo! yes, that's your name there's no way to escape this and you're French fry killer - # and you're the nugget rapist # - A poultry in need of hope.
by the time this day ends, this one will do nicely 'cause a bird on the grill is worth two in the hand You're supposed to be a friend to all in McDonaldland you're a food that I serve fried to billions worldwide so you kinda shoulda seen this coming - # by the time the day ends # - Nooooo! Every performance riveting.
I had a dream that I would be more than a nugget made for dipping I promise I will save your child and keep her here among the living there's so much hope in my heart Oh, god! Every line of dialogue sung.
- Now, who will rise? - What? I mean # who will rise # No! Please, stop sucking! No, no, nooooooo! - Robble, Robble! - "Les Misérobble Robble.
" The velociraptor cages are open! They're the most dangerous dinosaurs of all.
- They attack in coordinated formations.
- My god! - Where did they learn that? - And a 5, 6, 7, 8! First velociraptor good! Second velociraptor yes! Third velociraptor! Third velociraptor? - Third velociraptor!! - Oh.
Is that me? Yes, Krystal.
You were late again.
Can someone get me a petrified mosquito with the DNA of a dinosaur with some goddamn rhythm?! - I'll learn it! - Yeah? You better.
Oh! And, Bartholomew, save some park engineer for the rest of us.
Do you want to be fed to a T.
Rex? 'Cause you look like a cow! - Why are you so mean?! - Ohhhh! I'm mean? Good one, Krystal.
Clever girl.
From the top, velocitards! And now back to "You can't do that on Flashdance.
" - Did you hear that? - Easy, babe.
It's not ghosts.
We probably just left the stereo on.
Fine.
I'll check it out.
Whoa! Look at this! They just float in midair.
They're so light and tasty.
Don't you eat those demon pellets! The ghost are trying to draw you in! Babe, relax.
I'm in total control.
Pac! Pac, open up! Pac, baby! I can't get in! Pac! Aaaaaaah! There is no more Pac.
Stay away! Never fear, for it is I, Super Grover! Ow! Ow! Ow! My god! Who are you? Dear god! Please stop hitting me! Ow! My vagina's about to splat out an entire human being! Ewwww! Joseph! Hello, dad! Looks like you really screwed the pooch, huh? Well, at least you're still in a good mood about things.
Oh, should I set you free? Hmmm.
Nahhh! You know, I always wondered about that optical scanner.
I bet it unlocks some really neat stuff.
Only one way to find out.
You were really onto something with that cybernetic chicken, but you always lacked a certain vision.
Spectators have already lined the runway in anticipation of billionaire Thomas Tull's return from deep space.
Breaking news President Obama has been taken hostage.
Details are still unclear, but w Hello, America! Very pleased to meet you! Oh! What's my name? My name is guy you're going to pay $100 billion! The United States doesn't pay ransoms, not even - for a President.
- Oh, they might not pay for a President no, no but how about all the presidents? - What are you gonna do kill us? - Worse.
Ewww! - My god! - Don't do this! Pay the man! Pay him whatever he - Oh! What's my name? - Bawk-kaw! Bawk-kaw! Bawk! Bawk-bawk-bawk-ba? Beh.
Bawk-bawk-bawk-beh! There's no plot.
It's just pop-culture references I don't understand.
Make it stop! Well, it's either this, or I force you guys to do kind - of a human-centipede dealie.
- I don't understand what you mean.
No, no, I'm picking up what he's laying down.
Ba-gawk! Well, well.
I wondered when you'd join the party.
Dark meat, I need you! What the [bleep.]
did you just say to me? Bawk, bawk.
Oh.
That evil chicken's name is "Dark meat.
" Winner, winner! Chicken dinner! Bawk, bawk, ba-gawk.
Bawk.
Bawk.
Bawk.
Bawk, bawk, ba-gawk.
- Bawk, bawk, b - Time for plan "B.
" I am morally opposed to plan "B.
" I am sexually aroused by all this talk about plan "B.
" You know, I figured why stop with chickens? Meet cyborg raccoon! Robot white-tailed deer! Robot homeless person! # Robohobo! # - I've lived too long.
- I have no free will! Ba-gawk! I don't wanna do this! I have you now! Bawk, bawk.
- Bawk.
Bawk.
- Ooh! - Baaawk! - Bawk.
Ow! Ow! So, uh, we still doing this centipede thing, or what? Well, looks like it's time to farm the nuts.
No! Nooooo! - Joseph! - No! No! Noooo!