Black-ish (2014) s07e21 Episode Script

1 It may sound shocking because of how young I look, but I've been at Stevens & Lido for almost two decades.
When I started here, there was no such thing as Facebook.
Tom Brady had never won a Super Bowl.
Eddie Griffin was a movie star.
Yep.
This place has been my home for my entire advertising career.
I was comfortable.
But sometimes, it's hard to avoid the feeling you're stuck in a rut.
What? I don't think you're pushing hard enough.
What? Maybe you've already gone as high as you can go here.
What do you mean? You heard me.
You can't go any higher here.
I gotta get the hell up out of here.
I can't do this anymore! I quit! What's happening? Oh.
I just had the craziest dream that I quit my job.
Oh, it's okay.
It's okay, sweetheart.
It's a nightmare.
- It was.
- Oh, my God.
But also I quit my job.
What? So, how did I end up an unemployed Black man with five kids and an angry baby mama? Check this out.
I've been bingeing Black Twitter.
I-I'm not caught up, but something called AKA very excited about Kamala Harris.
Oh, "B Twit" is where I get all my news, from dragging racist fashion magazines - to bringing down racist food magazines.
- Mm-hmm.
And did you know Dionne Warwick had jokes? - What? - Oh, yeah.
I love me some Black Twitter.
The language is so colorful.
Hey, guys, new client SoFi.
I'm finna hear some pitches.
Hey-o.
- What do you got, Charlie? - So, what about this? "SoFi the only app with a stadium in Inglewood.
" Okay, SoFi is way more than just an app.
Dre, come on.
What do you got, hmm? - You got something? - Well SoFi members can save, spend, earn, borrow, and invest in an easy-to-use financial app.
So, what we're really selling here is the ability to do everything with your money - in one place.
- Mm.
Mm.
So, here's my pitch.
A man is walking in the world, his money buzzing around him.
He's not in control.
But luckily for him, he has the SoFi app.
He opens it, and then his money flies into his phone neatly, right? - Giving him instant access to all of it.
- Mm.
Mm.
He know continues to walk through the world, confident that he is in control now.
And then, all of a sudden, you hear the reassuring voice of Harrison Ford say, "SoFi.
Get Your Money Right.
" - Mm.
- Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm.
Swap out J.
B.
Smoove for Harrison Ford, and I'm all in.
- What? - Agreed.
Yeah, Dre.
He doesn't really say "Urban.
" He's Indiana Jones, man.
He's Han Solo.
It doesn't get any bigger.
Come on, guys.
Think outside of the box.
Or we could think inside of the box, - because we know that works.
- Yeah.
We get a handsome chocolate brother - to jump out of a Cadillac - Mm-hmm.
and then the chorus to "Motownphilly" drops in, and we sell a gang of toilet paper.
- Oh, love it.
- But aren't you tired of doing the same old thing? I said chocolate.
We should be expanding what Urban is.
We should try to get into business with Radiohead or the Foo Fighters or any one of those other White groups that come on the radio whenever I let Junior drive my car.
It doesn't always have to be Boyz II Men.
Hello? Hey.
Uh, I'm sorry, boys or men however you identify.
Uh, you shouldn't have heard that, but, uh, you are a half-hour early for your pitch.
And why is Nate on a screen? Somebody didn't want to cut their vacation short.
The flight had stupid change fees.
I told you, our credit card comes with travel insurance, bro.
Guys, um, we got a bunch more work to do here, and and frankly, I should hear the rest of Dre's very valid critique, but do you mind giving us some of those - "Cooleyhighharmonies" instead, huh? - What? I do not.
What? I'm gonna do this whole falsetto thing, so you guys just try to keep up, all right? While Stevens and the rest of the team were content with the way things were, I had a growing feeling that I needed more.
- Rainbow? - Uh-huh? Uh I found a random pill on the floor, and I may have taken it.
- Why would you do that? - I don't know.
- I'm retired.
- Earl.
You try filling a whole day.
Well, what color was it? Uh, red, blue, uh I can't remember.
Well, um, in the next 30 minutes, you will either have an erection or a heart attack.
Well, either way, I'll be there for you, baby.
Thank you, baby.
Ah.
Well, I think my job is going to kill me.
Did Stevens claim to be the Blackest person in the office because he went to jail? No.
I gotta get out of that place.
You know what, baby? It's time for a good slip and fall.
- Thank you, Mama.
- Mm-hmm.
But I think I'm just gonna get a different job.
You know, I have an interview with Summit Wave Creative to be their new Senior Vice President in their General Market division.
- Ooh.
- General Market? I thought you make the Black people ads? You know, like the Louis Gossett Jr.
burger commercial - after "Queen Sugar"? - I do.
- But I'm not just a Black adman, Pops.
- Mm.
- I'm an adman.
- Oh.
Mm.
You know, I get pigeonholed - all the time at the hospital.
- Mm.
They see me either as a Black doctor or a female doctor or a gorgeous doctor, but the truth is, I'm all three.
Well, I'm proud of you for trying, son, but you're never going to make as much money as she does, and so, I'm gonna always be a little disappointed.
I know I shouldn't be, but I'm a man of my time.
And you just have to unders Uh say.
Mm.
- The pill is working.
- Oh.
- We have movement.
- Movement! Come on, baby! - Come on.
You want to go upstairs? - Come on.
- Yeah! - Mm! While Pops and Mama were about to get their freak on, Junior and Olivia were enjoying a quiet night in.
I don't know what Grandma's talking about.
This doesn't look sinful.
What are you guys doing here? Oh, we thought we'd swing by and see how our big brother was living without us.
Well, I told her to text first, but, you know, Diane prefers situations where she can catch people off guard.
Okay.
Um Guys, Junior and I were just about to sit down for dinner Oh, we already ate before we got here.
Yeah.
We didn't want to be rude.
- Mm-hmm.
- Mm.
Okay.
Cool.
Hey, guys, uh, just give us a sec.
Ah.
Okay.
Hey, I'm sorry about all this.
The other day, I told them to feel free to pop in whenever.
Well, they're here, and I guess there's nothing we can do about it now.
See? - We're having fun already.
- Mm.
All right.
You two can stay.
Ah, that's what I'm talking about.
Oh, oh, we're actually a shoes-off kind of household.
- Oh.
- Okay.
I mean, it is day three in these socks, but your rules.
All right.
With 20 years in the game, I'd hustled from the bottom to the top.
Now I was ready for the top top.
It was an open and shut case.
The verdict? The job was mine.
And with your client roster and my expertise, the ad industry won't know what hit them.
Yeah.
Dre, you've got an incredibly impressive résumé.
Thank you.
In Urban Marketing.
But you may need a little more experience for our General team.
I don't think you're the right fit.
Not enough experience? I've been making ads since "I'm Lovin' It" was just a twinkle in Justin Timberlake's eye.
Hey, Dre.
Boyz II Men are gonna teach us how to sing harmony.
- Yeah.
- We just asked where the bathroom is.
Now you're showing off! Okay, we get it y'all can sing.
You know how hard it is to sing harmony on a video chat? K-Ci & JoJo can't do that.
So, this is my life for the rest of time.
Putting R&B singers in ads.
Reaching for nothing bigger than that.
It's hard for us to reach - with so many Grammys in our arms.
- Right.
Hey-o.
- Dre.
- Mm-hmm.
Hm? You are embarrassing us in front of Boyz II Men.
Yeah, what's, uh what's gotten into you, Dre? What's gotten into me is that - I'm much bigger than all of this.
- Ah.
This place doesn't allow me to show what I'm capable of.
Man, I-I could win awards.
I could change the game.
All right? I could be the GOAT.
But I will never be any of those things if I stay here in Urban.
I get it, Dre.
I hear what you're saying.
You're cranky 'cause you're hungry.
Can someone get him a granola bar, please? I'm not hungry! All right? I'm just done.
I'm done.
I can't do this anymore.
I deserve better.
I quit.
Mm.
- Well - Hm? I call dibs on Dre's office.
You do not.
I get that office! That was offered to me! Hey.
Hey.
Haven't heard from you all day.
How'd it go? How was I going to tell Bow that I didn't just fail the interview, but I also quit my job and blew up my career? The answer was I wasn't.
- Great.
- Oh, good.
Mm-hmm.
When you're lying about something important to someone you love, you have to make absolutely sure you're not going to get caught.
All right, babe.
I'm heading to work.
I'll see you later.
Okay, yeah.
Work! Yeah, that's exactly where I'm going as soon as you leave, babe.
Hey, you look beautiful! Thank you! Oh, my God.
You lost your job.
What? - Why would you say that? - Come on, Dre.
I pretended to be employed throughout the '70s.
I know what it looks like when you ain't got nowhere to be.
Did they fire you, or did you quit? Or did they fire you, and you gonna tell everybody you quit? I quit.
Yeah, but Bow can't find out, Pops.
- Okay.
- All right? Yeah, I know it sounds crazy, but I had to do this.
You know who Josh Gibson is? The Negro League ballplayer or my buddy up in Oakland with the missing thumb? The ballplayer.
He was the only man to hit a home run out of Yankee Stadium.
And still, they called him the "Black Babe Ruth" Mnh-mnh-mnh.
because he never got a chance to play in the majors to show the people that Babe Ruth was actually the "White Josh Gibson.
" Summit Wave didn't think I had the experience to get the big jobs, Pops, and staying at Stevens & Lido I'll never get that experience.
So I had to step out on my own.
When you put it like that, it almost makes your lying sound noble, son.
Oh, Pops, it's not lying.
It's just delaying telling Bow the exciting next chapter in my life, the chapter where I start my own ad agency, and I get the SoFi account so she knows that I can do this.
That is classic Day One pretending-to-have-a-job - confidence talking, son.
- What? You come find me when you run out of cash and you're hiding in the crawlspace with the newspaper.
I knew that wasn't going to happen.
I was starting my own agency, and it was going to work.
Hey, Olivia.
I'm home.
This is hanky to panky.
Come in, panky.
Over.
Your cutesy talk is nauseating.
Over.
Oh.
You guys are here, huh? Oh.
Hey, you're home.
Yes, I am.
And sorry about them.
- Oh.
- I can tell they're bothering you.
I can ask them to leave.
Oh, no, no, no, no, no.
We're We're good.
We're good.
I pretended to cry so that Jack would let me be Yoshi.
And I've been dominating him ever since.
He's so gullible.
All right.
O-Olivia, are you are you sure? - I-I bought us some steaks.
- Oh.
Yeah, I figured I'd do something nice since you've been so cool about my family being over here all the time.
Aww, that's so sweet.
Guys, Junior bought steaks.
- Ooh, I like mine medium.
- And I like mine so rare it's inside a cow that's still alive.
Still vegan.
Hey, hey, babe, are are you sure? I mean, they've kind of overstayed their welcome.
I mean I guess they have been over here a lot, but one more night won't kill us.
Come on.
Loosen up.
All right? Okay, um I guess I'll start on dinner, then.
Is that a spider? Unh-unh.
I don't blame them games, girl.
With 20 years of advertising experience, I knew I just put the final touches on a killer pitch for SoFi.
Land that account, and I'll be set.
Bow will be none the wiser.
Oh, my gosh.
I just had the craziest dream that I quit my job.
That's 'cause you didn't tell your wife you quit your job.
What the Is everything okay? I just had the craziest dream.
- What? - That I quit my job.
Oh.
That's okay, sweetheart.
It's just It's just a nightmare.
Oh, my God.
- Oh, it was.
- It was just a nightmare.
Oh.
- But also - What? I quit my job.
What the [bleep.]
?! Dre, you ruined "Set It Off" for me five minutes in, and somehow, you hid the fact that you quit your job? I'm sorry.
I messed up.
I We don't make decisions like that - without talking to each other.
- Look, I know.
I don't know why I didn't tell you I quit.
Or why I didn't tell you I haven't gone into Stevens & Lido all week because I've started my own agency.
Wh You started your own agency? Yeah.
Okay.
What did you call it? The Dregency.
- Oh, Dre.
- I know.
I thought I had it figured out, but I didn't.
Mm.
And I'm scared.
I have the biggest pitch of my life tomorrow, and if I don't nail it I've ruined both of our lives.
Listen to me, Dre.
Tomorrow, you are gonna walk into that pitch, and they are gonna buy whatever you're selling.
Mm.
Because you are the best adman in the business, and those clients are going to be begging - begging to work with you - Mm-hmm.
by the time you walk out that door.
Well - it's a video conference, but - Oh.
I like what you're saying.
- Before you push "end.
" - Yeah.
They're back in.
Okay, babe.
You know what? And I'm sorry for not letting you know about it.
- It's okay.
- All right.
Okay.
You know, now when, uh when I quit my job, I won't have to tell you first.
What? All right, don't play, Bow, because the house is in your name.
- Oh, we know.
- Okay.
That means it's your debt.
Yeah, 'cause it's all my money! What does it say about me that all my Instagram ads are in Russian? Well, well, well.
Looks like the gang is all here again.
You seem tense.
What's up, buddy? What's up? My brother and sister are constantly invading my space.
But you know what? If you want to hang out here, I am gonna set some ground rules.
Rule number one text before you come over.
Number two Wi-Fi is now $5 a week, each.
You can keep your Wi-Fi.
I got 5G, playboy.
Number three whatever you deplenish, you must also replenish, and I'm not just talking fridge items.
Salt.
Pepper.
My peach hand soap that costs $20 a bottle.
You paid for that? Man, I assumed Grandma gave that to you.
Okay.
Let's just go easy on them.
Unh-unh-unh.
There are rules for you, too.
- You are a part of the problem.
- Oh.
Number one do not feed them, clothe them, or provide them alibis.
Okay.
Okay, okay.
I know that they have been over here a lot.
But the thing is, I really like having a full house, okay? I grew up an only child, and I never even considered myself as someone who would want kids.
But I think by spending time with the Johnsons, I'm starting to see myself as someone who would want a family.
Really? Yeah.
Maybe because your family feels like my family now.
You feel a part of our family, too.
Oh.
For the record, I'm not there yet.
- Okay.
- Yeah.
Well, um I guess you guys are welcome here anytime because I want Olivia to feel like a part of our family.
Mm.
Also, I'd love if you called my mom "Mom".
For the record, I'm not there yet.
Okay.
That's understandable.
- Mm-hmm.
- It's just Bow was just the hype-man I needed.
I was Jordan during the flu game.
I was Prince at the Super Bowl.
I was Black Panther uh in the movie "Black Panther.
" And that's when you hear the iconic voice of Harrison Ford say, "SoFi.
Get your money right.
" - Impressive.
- Thank you.
Well done.
How'd it go? - Honestly? - Yeah.
I killed it.
Ooh! So exciting! - Oh, I knew you would.
- Mm-hmm.
All right.
So what's next? Well, they tell me I should just wait for a phone call.
All right.
Oh, my God.
Is that them? Is that them? No.
Why is he calling? Thank you.
So Word on the street is that the, uh, folks up at SoFi were incredibly impressed with your pitch.
Mm-hmm.
It's just kind of a shame almost that, uh they liked the pitch from our General Market better.
Well, I was outmanned and outnumbered but I nearly beat out every other big firm in the city for SoFi.
- This is just the beginning.
- Mm-hmm.
Look, Dre, here's the thing.
I think you could make life miserable for Stevens & Lido, so I have an idea.
What if I bought your company outright, and you joined us? What? I never liked the idea of losing you in the first place.
This way we get you back.
I'm out of the Urban game.
Oh, I know that, Dre.
You'd be upstairs, in General Market.
What if I made a handsome offer for Dregency? I'd have to really think about it, but Mm.
it'll cost you.
Well, still be cheaper than my last divorce.
So let's get to negotiating, Dre.
I'd spent my entire advertising career at Stevens & Lido, and at least for a little while, it was going to stay that way.
- Good luck, son.
- Oh.
If you start thinking you're better than the rest of us, we will bring you back down to Earth again.
This I know.
- Go get it.
Go get it, son.
- All right.
Wish me luck! - Good luck.
All right, baby! - Oh, good luck, my darling! - Yeah! - Dre! What's that about? I do not know.
Maybe Dad's gonna try to eat that giant pizza again.
Ah.
I'm glad a man his age still has dreams.
So, I'll carry my family with me on this new journey.
Gotta say, I was excited.
The end of an era.
Ah, the truth is, I've been lucky to be able to go on this ride as long as I have with you two.
You know, when I'm gone, I'm gonna miss every crazy Charlie story and every one of Josh's "Chappelle's Show" references.
Is Wayne Brady gonna have to choke a bitch? How do I say goodbye To what we had? But forever's gone away It's so hard to say goodbye To yesterday And I'll take with me the memories I'll be upstairs.
To be my sunshine after the rain It's so hard to say goodbye - To yesterday, day - Day And I'll take with me the memories When I started at Stevens & Lido, Beyoncé had just gone solo, Pluto was a planet, and there weren't a lot of opportunities for a guy who looked like me to be seen as anything other than Urban.
- It's so hard to say goodbye - But things change.
You can make them change.
to yesterday Oh, my goodness, man.
- Are you kidding me, man? - Listen, fellas.
It's obvious this whole Nate thing - isn't working out, all right? - No.
How about we add some man to these boys? Uh, no.
W-What does Nate have that I don't have, huh? I mean, y'all can sing, but y'all ain't got no sex appeal.
Y'all need sex appeal in the group.
Wow.
Just when you think you know a person.
Unbelievable.
- Hey, Nate.
- Really.
We'll start our own band.
You know, I sang a cappella at Harvard.
Come on.
Let's go.
Nah, I'm good.
I Don't push me.
Wait.
Wait.
Hold on.
I'm not trying to leave.
You Don't Hold it.
Help me! Save me!