Buffy the Vampire Slayer s07e21 Episode Script

Previously on "Buffy the Vampire Slayer": - Hey.
- Hello, Faith.
trying to turn girls into an army.
They're potential slayers, just like we were.
Call me Caleb.
- Argh! - (Buffy) Xander! I'm not saying it's a happy scenario, but we're dealing with the Big Bad that can be any dead person it wants.
The bad guys always go where the power is.
They're protecting something at the vineyard.
You realise what will happen if the Slayer and her girls get it? They won't.
We have to be together on this.
So I need you to leave.
Now, I'm your boss.
There's only one thing I've ever been sure of: you.
You're the one, Buffy.
Heard you got something of mine.
Those of you who are coming with me to the arsenal, you know who you are.
Let's do this thing.
Get down! - (door smashes open) - (Caleb) So you found it.
Not impressed.
Cos the question now, is can you pry it from solid rock before I come over there Darn.
Before you go hurting yourself with that thing, why don't you do yourself a courtesy and hand it over now? Yeah? You want it? You don't even know what you got there.
I know you're backing away.
You think wielding some two-sided doodad's gonna make a difference? Let her go, Caleb.
I said let her go.
I let her go, she slices me open with that thing.
No, she doesn't.
She hasn't got time.
She has friends.
And her friends are in trouble.
Faith go boom.
- I'm not lettin' her out with that thing.
- Sure you are.
Then you'll come back for it later.
When she's got her back turned.
Hey! Hey, Faith? Anybody? - Is anybody here? - (coughing) (potential) Me! - Is anybody else alive? - (rattling) - Hello? Anyone? - Yeah! I'm I'm here! - Who else we got? - Don't know.
- You OK? - I think my arm is broken.
I guess I'm lucky.
- Where's Faith? - Don't know.
- We should get out of here.
They could - Find her! Oh, God, is she alive? We gotta get her outta here.
- Which way is out? - We don't know how many of us are still - (distant growl) alive.
- What was that? - Could've been grinding metal - No, it was one of them.
- That's not possible.
- How'd it get in here? - Plans? (Kennedy) Run.
- It's blocked! - Oh, my God! - I told you this wasn't the way! - Up and over.
Wounded first! (girls scream) Group together.
Form a circle.
Nobody panic.
It's all of us, one of him.
We can take one of these things.
It was pretty amazing.
A whole grocery store just abandoned.
Food lying around.
The produce was on its way to funky town, but Oh.
Jaffa Cakes! The apples still look pretty good, so check those out.
(door opens) - Did you find Buffy? - No.
But, you did that spell with the little lights? The locator? - It crapped out on us though.
- No, it didn't, exactly.
Itjust took us to an empty house.
She must have moved on already.
I'm afraid we have slightly worse news here.
Faith hasn't returned with the other girls.
Something's wrong.
I've been here, keeping morale up.
Because that's important.
- We have to go to her.
- Guess so.
Yes.
I'll stay here, and keep working on that morale thing.
- (growling) - Remember the training.
Everybody, get ready! Aargh! - There's another one! - Move! Move! Move! Up and over! Not that one! That one! (girls scream) Weapons! Over there! (ripping sounds) (crash) Get the wounded.
We're leaving.
- Are there more? - There's always more.
Let's move.
(moaning) Will, come here.
She's losing a lot of blood.
Got it.
- The room upstairs is ready.
- I hope we're in time.
- Is she OK? Is she gonna be OK? - I'm sure she'll be fine.
Right? - Careful! - Just mind her head.
- I'll be up in a second.
- You guys heal fast, right? You slayers? - Yeah.
- So she'll be OK? - I don't know.
- What's with the axe thing? - I took it from Caleb.
It might be important.
- Let's hope.
I think we got punished.
- What? - We - We followed her.
And it was - It didn't work out.
It was a trap.
It's not her fault.
That could've just as easily happened to me.
So are you are you, like, back? I don't know.
I guess I'm not leaving.
- So we got a plan now, or anything? - Yeah, there's a plan.
Get ready.
Time's up.
I still think we got punished.
- Is she breathing OK? - Still unconscious, though.
We've still got work to do.
It's maybe some kind of scythe.
The only sure thing is it made Caleb back off in a hurry.
So it's true.
Scythe matters.
And, ignoring that, I'd just like to point out this is really quite ingenious.
Kills strong bodies three ways.
And you say you sense something when you hold it? Not much, but it's strong.
And I knew it belonged to me.
I just knew it.
In addition to being ancient, it's clearly mystical.
Yeah, I figured that out when I King Arthured it out of the stone.
So maybe it's like some kinda traditional Slayer weapon.
I can't imagine how something like this could exist without my having heard of it.
The good guys are not traditionally known for their communication skills.
Right.
Any chance that it might be something other than a tool for killing things? The First's guys clearly wanted it out of that stone.
It's notjust a tool.
It's important.
We need to find out whatever we can.
Who made it, when, why? Does it have a name? I don't know, a credit report? - Just find out fast.
- We'll start immediately.
Don't worry.
We'll find out everything there is to know.
Good, because right now, that thing's all we got goin' for us.
I liked the real bandages better.
These bed sheets are awfully festive.
Yeah.
They're gonna look like mortally wounded Easter baskets.
- What? - Oh Hey! We're supposed to use that to sterilise wounds.
Mr Giles said.
- Come on, what does it really matter? - Hmm.
Good point.
Giles knows his single-malt antiseptics.
- Everything's horrible.
- Yep.
Many of these girls will die.
Slaughterhouse is what it is.
What? Trying to talk will just kill you sooner.
We need supplies, and notjust bandages and junk.
These girls need stitches and painkillers.
Yeah, well, I could use a cookie, but I'm not making reckless wishes.
No, no.
We can do it.
The hospital.
It's gotta be all abandoned like the grocery store.
Supplies just lying around for the taking.
I'm going in.
- You are? - And you're coming with me.
- I am? - I think you should drive cos that Scotch made me a little dizzy.
OK.
I'll get Kennedy to watch the girls.
She's tough.
- Imminent death won't bother her.
- What? - (Buffy) You got it? - Wait.
I'm not to the "got it" place yet.
- I'm still in the "you're kidding" area.
- You know it's for the good.
I don't.
Buffy, do you get that? If I do this, that's it for me for this fight.
- I feel like you're putting me out to pasture.
- Of course I'm not putting you out to pasture.
- What does that even mean? - Well, you know, it's like when a cow gets old and loses an eye, or its ability to be milked, the farmer takes it and puts it in a different pasture so it won't have to fight with the priest.
I don't need you to protect me.
I'm not.
I got hurt, but I'm not done.
I can still fight.
I know.
That's why I need you to do this.
Xander, I need someone that I can count on no matter what happens.
I just always thought that I would that I would be there with you.
- You know, for the end.
- Hey! - Well, not that this is the end.
- Thanks a lot.
No, no, no, no.
By the end, I meant heroic in an uplifting way.
See, I'm still optimistic.
You're just thrown off a little by this gritty-looking eye patch.
I know what you meant.
I should be at your side.
That's all I'm saying.
You will be.
You're my strength, Xander.
You're the reason I made it this far.
I trust you with my life.
So I need you to do this for me.
OK.
Also you can't shoot a bow and arrow, and when you pick up a sword, - I worry you'll break one of our lamps.
- Hey! Don't look at me.
You said I'm gonna die.
I never said you were gonna die.
I implied that you were.
It's totally different.
Yeah, OK.
Sure.
Besides, I'll just bring you back to life.
That's what I do.
Before the vineyard was a vineyard, it was a monastery.
Could've been put there then.
Monks messing with powers they don't understand.
No, it's older than that.
It's pre-Christian.
OK.
I found reference to stories the monks used to tell about something older.
- Like, some kind of pagan temple? - Native American? No.
I don't know.
Urgh! OK, maybe we're just going about this the wrong way.
Maybe we should research the weapon itself.
Like Look: maybe it's the Axe of Dekeron, said to have been forged in hell itself, lost since the Children's Crusade, where it was said to have killed Oh.
Children.
Hope that's not it.
I have reference to the Sword of Moskva, the Reaper of the Tigris How are we supposed to narrow this down? The illustrations are never clear enough.
Oh, damn.
We're running out of time.
We really haven't got anything useful.
Do you sense the power that Buffy spoke about? Gotta say no.
Must be a slayer thing.
Tapping into magics might help with that.
Maybe.
But, I mean, if Caleb is scared of this thing, it must be pretty dangerous.
And tapping into that? Willow, you could do it without endangering yourself.
If I tried something big, I'd change.
And then it's all black hair and veins and lightning bolts.
I can hardly do a locator spell without getting dark roots.
And if it was necessary? Honestly? I don't know.
All right.
Do what you can.
That's all any of us can do.
I guess so.
Man, none of these sound right.
Here's one that's just "M" question mark.
What the heck is that? Let me see.
It's not a question mark.
It's the International Phonetics Alphabet symbol for glottal stop.
- A whoey? - A sort of gulpy noise.
I'm remembering something here.
Hieroglyphs.
Hieroglyphs stand for sets of consonants, as you know.
Yes, absolutely.
"M" plus glottal stop is represented by a picture that's commonly thought to symbolise a sickle or a scythe.
It's in thousands of carvings, from Egypt throughout the ancient world.
Carvings like you'd have on a pagan temple? Go back.
See what else we can find out about this temple.
The scythe is a symbol of death.
Let's see where these pagans buried their dead.
Xander, my crossbow is not out here.
I told you, I don't leave crossbows around all willy-nilly.
Not since that time with Miss Kitty Fantastico.
Did you know I have to take a driving test every year now? - Because you're old? - No, because of my eye.
It's a whole state law.
They don't trust my depth perception any more.
That sucks.
You know what's even worse? All those stupid "it's all fun and games until someone loses an eye" jokes.
"Hey, Xander, so no more fun and games, huh?" - Giles was just having fun with you.
- That's not the point.
It's an obvious joke.
- It'd be like someone calling me a Cyclops.
- Oh! Ha, ha, ha, ha! (clears throat) OK, so not that funny.
I mean, give me some "eye of the beholder" jokes, you know? Or some "eye for an eye" jokes.
Or maybe even a postmodern I, Claudiusjoke, you know? - It's about standards, Dawnie.
- I know.
Hey, just be creative.
Everyone's still kind of on guard around you.
But before you know it (muffled screams) (groan) Not that I care personally, but you are wasting a lot of robust, full-bodied Merlot.
Why did you let her go? You know I can take her in a fight.
- We'll get her.
Calm down.
- I'm calm.
You should see me when I get angry.
She's powerful right now.
And you're weak.
You know, all of a sudden, I'm getting less calm.
Face it.
Your strength is waning.
It has been quite some time since we've merged.
Maybe you're right.
OK, let's do it.
Boy, you sure know how to romance a girl.
No flowers, no dinner, no tour of the rectory.
Just, "OK, I'm ready.
Let's do it!" - Help me.
My knees are weak.
- Watch what you say now.
You sound like her.
This is a sacred experience for me.
And for me as well.
When this is all over, and our armies spring forth, and our will sweeps the world, I will be able to enter every man, woman and child on this earth, - just as I enter you.
- Are you trying to make me jealous? I'm trying to make you a god.
I am thy humble servant.
(demonic voice) And I am ready to serve thee.
- (Buffy) You feel it too, don't you? - Damn.
And damn, that's something.
- I know.
- It's old.
It's strong, and it feels like like it's mine.
I guess that means it's yours.
It belongs to the Slayer.
Slayer-in-charge, which, I'm guessing, is you.
I honestly don't know.
- Does it matter? - It never mattered to me.
Somebody has to lead.
Let's vote for Chao-Ahn.
Hard to lead people into a deathtrap if you don't speak English.
It wasn't your fault.
- Really not looking for forgiveness.
- You're not? What do you want me to say? I blew it.
You didn't.
People die.
You lead them into battle, they're gonna die.
It doesn't matter how ready you are or how smart you are.
War is about death.
Needless, stupid death.
So, here's the laugh riot.
My whole life I've been a loner.
- That's funny? Did I miss something? - I'm trying Sorry.
Sorry.
Go.
No ties, no buddies, no relationships that lasted longer than Well, Robin lasted pretty long.
Boy's got stamina.
Principal Wood? And you? And in my - Don't tell me you two got wriggly.
- No.
No.
No, no.
We're just good friends.
Or mortal enemies, depending on which day of the - Was that the funny part? - OK, the point.
Me, by myself all the time.
And looking at you, everything you have, and I don't know, jealous.
Then there I am.
Everybody's looking to me, trusting me to lead them, and I've never felt so alone in my entire life.
Yeah.
And that's you every day, isn't it? I love my friends.
I'm very grateful for them.
But that's the price.
Being a slayer.
There's only supposed to be one.
Maybe that's why you and I can never get along.
- We're not supposed to exist together.
- Also you went evil and killed people.
Good point.
Also a factor.
But you're right.
I mean, I I guess everyone's alone.
But being a slayer? There's a burden we can't share.
And no one else can feel it.
Thank God we're hot chicks with superpowers.
- Takes the edge off.
- Comforting.
Mm-hm.
Honey, you're home.
Yeah.
And you did it.
Fulfilled your mission.
Found the Holy Grail, or the Holy Hand Grenade, or whatever the hell that is.
Right now we're going with scythe.
You like? Pointy and wooden is not exactly the look I wanna know better, but it does have flair.
I can see why a girl would ditch a fella for one of these.
I'm sorry about that.
It doesn't matter.
You're back in the bosom.
All's forgiven.
And last night was just a glitch.
A bit of cold comfort from the cellar dweller.
Just don't make a thing out of it.
- Great.
I have work to do.
- Oh, yeah.
Another solo mission, of course.
- Yeah, it is.
- That's fine.
You don't have to get shirty.
I'm not shirty.
And what is shirty? That's not even a word.
All right.
All right.
Big secret mission.
It's fine.
It's not a secret.
Well, I mean, it is, but that's the point of the mission.
Find out the secret.
This thing was forged by I don't even know.
I mean, something about a tomb on unconsecrated ground.
That's what I have to do.
I need to find out what this is and why I have it.
And that's the thing the preacher man was so anxious to keep out of your mitts? That it is.
Well, maybe I'll swing by the vineyard when you go, make sure he's sitting tight.
- Great.
- OK.
- You're a dope.
- I'm a what? You're a dope.
And a bonehead.
And you're shirty.
- Have you gone completely carrot-top? - Do you see this? This may actually help me fight my war.
This might be the key to everything.
And I'm holding it because of you.
Because of the strength that you gave me last night.
I am tired of defensiveness and weird, mixed signals.
I have Faith for that.
Let's get to the truth, OK? I don't know how you felt about last night, but Terrified.
Of what? Last night was God, I'm such a jerk.
I can't do this.
Spike? It was the best night of my life.
If you poke fun at me, you bloody well better use that, cos I couldn't bear it.
- It may not mean that much to you, but - I just told you it did.
Yeah.
I hear you say it, but I've lived for sodding ever, Buffy.
I've done everything.
I've done things with you I can't spell, but I've never been close to anyone.
Least of all you.
Till last night.
All I did was hold you, watch you sleep.
And it was the best night of my life.
So, yeah.
I'm terrified.
You don't have to be.
- Were you there with me? - I was.
What does that mean? I don't know.
Does it have to mean something? No.
Not right now.
- Maybe when - No, let's just leave it.
- OK.
- We'll go be heroes.
Ooh, this one has oxygen tanks.
Useful if the attacker was big, then we could shove one down their throat and blow 'em up like Roy Scheider did with that shark in Jaws.
- What? - You are the perfect woman.
I've often thought so.
Wanna rob? Let's rob.
Cool.
Gauze and alcohol tape and, oh, sutures, if we wanna get stitchy with it.
Oh, and there's a box of ointment here.
I used one of these on a rash once.
Oh.
Show me.
It's healed up, but it was red and crusty with these little itchy places.
Show me the box of ointments, you freak, and get cotton packing for the big wounds.
It's gonna be bad, isn't it? Yeah.
So how come you're here? I mean, you could just go, right? - Yeah.
I did once before.
- Before what? Well, there was this other apocalypse, this one time, and I took off.
But this time, I don't know.
Well, what's different? I guess I was kinda new to being around humans before.
But now I've seen a lot more, gotten to know people.
Seen what they're capable of, and I guess I just realised how amazingly screwed-up they all are.
I mean really, really screwed-up in a monumental fashion.
Oh.
And they have no purpose that unites them, so they blunder through life until they die.
Which they know is coming, yet every single one of them is surprised when it happens.
They're incapable of thinking beyond the moment.
They kill each other, which is clearly insane.
And yet, here's the thing.
When it's something that really matters, they fight.
I mean, they're lame morons for fighting, but they do.
They never They never quit.
So I guess I will keep fighting, too.
That was kind of beautiful.
- You you love humans.
- I do not! Yes, you do.
You love them.
Stop it! I don't love them! And I'll kill you, if you tell anybody.
I won't tell anybody.
- I won't get a chance to, anyway.
- I don't know, you might survive.
No, you might survive.
You can handle a weapon, and you've been in this world for 1,000 years.
I'm not so I don't think I'll be OK.
I'm cool with it.
I think I'd like to finish out as one of those lame humans trying to do what's right.
Yeah.
So wheelchair fight? (Indian cries) Ow! Ow! (door smashes open) (woman) I'd forgotten.
I'd forgotten how young you would be.
Comes from the waiting.
Mind plays tricks.
I see you've found our weapon.
- Who are you? - One of many.
Well time was - Now I'm alone in the world.
- So what are you? Some kind of ghost? Nope.
I'm as real as you are.
Just well, let me put it this way.
I look good for my age.
I've been waiting.
You pulled it out of the rock.
I was one of those who put it in there.
- What is it? - A weapon.
A scythe.
Forged in secrecy for one like you who I'm sorry, what's your name? - Buffy.
- No, really.
We forged it in secrecy and kept it hidden from the Shadow Men, who Yeah, met those guys.
Didn't really care for 'em.
Ah, yes.
Then you know.
And they became the watchers.
And the watchers watched the slayers.
But we were watching them.
Oh! So you're like - What are you? - Guardians.
Women who want to help and protect you.
We forged this centuries ago, halfway around the world.
Hence the Luxor casino theme.
Forged there, it was put to use right here.
To kill the last pure demon that walked upon the earth.
The rest were already driven under.
And then there were men here, and then there were monks.
And then there was a town, and now there was you.
And the scythe remained hidden.
I don't understand.
How is it possible that we didn't know any of this? We hid, too.
We had to until now.
- We're the last surprise.
- Does this mean I can win? That is really up to you.
This is a powerful weapon.
- Yeah.
- But you already have weapons.
Oh? Use it wisely and perhaps you can beat back the rising dark.
One way or another, it can only mean an end is truly near.
I'm sorry, I didn't catch that last part.
Did she say the end is near or here? Hey, Dawn.
Dawn, you awake? What happened? - I thought you might say that.
- I meant to say what the hell happened? - It was chloroform.
- Colour-forms what? Chloroform.
Are you still loopy? Sorry about that.
Someone knocked me out with chloroform.
Xander, where are we going? - What's going on? Talk to me.
- Away.
- What's this? - Just open it.
(Buffy) "Dearest Dawn, Don't be angry with Xander.
" "He did what I told him to do.
This isn't the place for either of you.
" "Please know I love you and everything I do is for you.
" "I promised once to show you this beautiful world, and I'm gonna do everything I can" (tyres screech) You're not slipping out of this fight, girl.
Can't you see? You can't stop me.
I can just keep going back for more.
It's like being reborn.
Now I gave you ample warning.
Told you not to interfere.
But you chose not to heed.
I was kinda hoping it'd go this way.
(man) Hey! - I was never much for preachers.
- Angel.
- You look good.
- You look timely.
- And also good.
- Heard maybe you needed a hand.
It's one of those things you have to finish yourself.
Really kinda is.
You are so gonna lose.
God, I miss watching this.
(maniacal laughter) - See? Under control.
- Well At least you could tell me you're glad to see me.
That bitch.
Urgh! Argh!