Adventure Time with Finn & Jake s07e22 Episode Script
Scamps
[Mouse squeaks.]
[Penguins chirp.]
[All cheering.]
[Screeches.]
[Duck quacks.]
Adventure Time Come on, grab your friends We'll go to very distant lands With Jake the dog and Finn the human The fun will never end It's Adventure Time [Laughter.]
[Splat!.]
Gary: Hey, Johnny.
Look at this.
It's the notorious poop gang making a big mess all over our five-way intersection.
Your five-way intersection? This is our five-way intersection.
No, no.
It's theirs.
Ours is, like, way over there.
Well, if they want it, they can take it.
You hear that, boys? Fire us up, Hugo.
Uh Yeah, well, whatever, marshmallow kids.
Okay, you guys, let's get this over to the orphanage for their charity jam sale.
Bless you, marshmallow kids.
Always keeping the bad elements at bay.
Hey, Tommy, is it okay if me and the boys set up a small card table outside the tavern? We're thinking about playing some games.
Games? I like games.
[Chuckles.]
Sure, Tommy.
Who doesn't? [Both laugh.]
[Both chuckle.]
[Chuckling continues.]
That one.
You win again! - Yeah! - Yeah, all right! - Hmm? - This guy just won five times in a row! Johnny: Huh.
Quickest Golly.
Okay, same as before.
Let's do it some more.
The way to make money is to point - To the shell with the pea.
- Gee.
Huh! I know! How much can I wager? As much as you've got.
And they laugh at me for carrying my life savings in my pocket That one.
Ooh! There we go.
Banana Guards, move out! Let's roll.
Wee-ooh! Wee-ooh! Wee-ooh! Wee-ooh! Wee-ooh! Wee-ooh! Wee-ooh! Wee-ooh! Wee-ooh! Wee-ooh! Wee-ooh! Wee-ooh! Wee-ooh! Wee Where'd they go? Jake! They're in tunnel four! [Tires screeching.]
Yeah! Banana Guards ain't never gonna get us.
End of the line, marshmallow kids.
- Aw! - Aw! Okay, Jake.
Scare 'em straight.
Jake: That's right.
I used to be like you kids Making 20 bucks a day, feeling like a king.
Uh, we make Wow.
That's a lot.
Okay, Jake.
Why don't you take off? I think I got this.
Wow.
500 bucks.
Wow.
Sorry, guys, but I got to take y'all in for baby booking.
- Aw, man! Not again! - Oh! Come on! Eh, forget it, fellas.
Finn doesn't know what it's like to grow up on the streets.
He lives in a tree.
- Whoa! - No way! We've never even seen a tree.
That can't be true.
There's a tree right over there.
That's a tree? It's beautiful! Us street kids sure are learning a lot from you.
More than we'd ever learn from baby booking, that's for sure.
Hmm.
Hey, Peebs, I think all these scamps need is a nature walk.
Sounds good, Finn.
I trust you.
Gary: Ha ha! All right! You hear that, gang? Finn's taking us out of the city! - Yay! - Yeah, yay! [All cheering.]
Look at all these bugs.
Just like in my Mom's kitchen.
Look at me! I'm a rock climber! I'm flying! If you guys think this biz is cool, check out this other biz.
See this fallen tree? Jake and I laid it over this river last summer, and we call it "shortcut bridge.
" Check it.
- Wow! - Ooh! - So cool! - Wow! Pretty cool, huh? Now you guys! Okay! Yeah! That's it, Gary! Guys, cheer him on! Yay! Together: [Chanting.]
Gary! Gary! Gary! Gary! Gary, be careful! - Gary! - Gary! Thanks for pulling me out of that water street, Finn.
It's called a river, Gary.
A river.
Boy, wait till I tell the fellas.
Hey, fellas.
What are you doing there? Trying to build a [Gasps.]
[Squirrel chatters.]
Aw, what?! I went out on a limb for you guys.
What's a limb? A limb is like a branch on a [Laughs.]
This guy.
How'd we do, boys? We made about 42 nuts.
[Laughing.]
Holy cats.
These forest folks are some grade-a rubes.
Easy pickings, I tell you.
Sucker city! Finn: Hey, you guys tricked me.
[Laughter.]
Hey, wait! [Brring! Brring! Brring! Brring! Brring!.]
Hey, Finn, just wanted to see how the nature walk is going.
Uh You know, those marshmallow kids remind me of you when you were a young lad.
Uh I'm glad you're helping them get on the right path.
- Thanks.
-Okay, got to run.
I'll assume everything's great because if it wasn't, you would have said something.
Bye.
[Sighs.]
[Laughter.]
You lied to her.
You're worse than us.
No, you guys.
He's better than us.
- Huh? - Huh? He just pulled one over on the princess.
But he's a dope! Nah.
Don't you get it? He's just pretending to be a dope, but deep down, he's a grifter like us.
What? See? Look at him right now.
He's all, "who me?" Ha.
We could learn a lot from him.
Teach us everything you know, Finn.
I guess that works.
We have to keep warm in the woods, so we're gonna build a fire.
So, you take a minimum of two sticks, and you rub them together.
- Huh? - Huh? Um, okay.
You need to scam a couple of sticks.
You can usually spot your average dimwitted sticks around these tree dummies.
You trick them into a bundle like so.
You grab two marks and defraud them into rubbing together.
You flimflam your breath onto the sticks.
[Blowing.]
You bamboozle these flaming idiot sticks onto the other marks.
And all of them will catch on fire Like a bunch of suckers.
- Whoa! - Whoa! These sticks are stone-cold dopes.
[Laughter.]
[Thunder rumbles.]
Looks like the clouds are gonna drop a dime on us.
So I'll show youse guys how to build a shelter.
- Build? - Build? Yeah.
You can always scam nature into being a shelter.
You find a couple more branch rubes.
You mislead the longest branch to lay horizontal between two blockhead trees.
Then you double-cross some leafy boughs into leaning against each other.
Bam! You got a roof.
[Laughter.]
You like how I did that? You got to be real conniving.
Stick with me, boys.
I'll teach you all the forest hustles.
When you get hungry, you sneak up to a "boosh," and wham! You hoax the berries.
Heh! Food for nothing! These bushes are some easy marks, fellas.
- Good thing we scammed a fire.
- Yeah.
This open air would have hoodwinked our body temperature.
Toss me some of those sweet bloobies, Gary.
- Hup! - [Sighs.]
I got to get a picture of this.
Wish I had a camera.
I'll just try to remember it good.
And Perfect.
Caramel quicksand! Mallow kids, help! I'm sinking! Say, what kind of scam is this? Aah! It's no scam! I'm really sinking! Oh, wait.
Do you want us to scam the quicksand? Throw me, uh Scam me a rope! You fellas see any fancy ropes around here? Hey, you! Vine! Whoops.
Hey, I barely touched him.
Heck, I know I'd rather be a rope than a boring old vine.
Gary: Yeah, you want to be a dumb plant your whole life? I'm sinking, dagnabit! How are we gonna scam this vine into being thrown over to Finn? Just yank it down! [Bubbling.]
Yank it down? What does that mean? Hey, fellas, you know what always works? - Pea, pea.
Where's the pea? - Gee.
I don't like the looks of this.
We have to go old school.
- No way, man.
- No way, man.
We promised ourselves never to go old school unless things got serious.
Things have gotten serious.
Maybe this vine needs a sandwich packed with a slap! How does my slap sandwich taste? You're a rope from now on, see? [All grunting.]
- You want some more? - How does this feel? You need some more of this? [Plonk!.]
Aw, geez.
We killed him.
[Gasps.]
- Yay! - Yay! Together: [Chanting.]
Finn! Finn! Finn! Thanks, marshmallow kids.
I thought I was going to sink forever.
But we failed your test, Mr.
Finn.
We couldn't scam this guy into being a rope.
We had to resort to low violence.
Together: We ain't worthy to be your students.
You can't use scams to save somebody from quicksand.
You kids weren't scamming sticks or branches or anything.
You've been camping the whole time.
- No scam?! - No scam?! Wow.
You scammed us into thinking we were scamming.
You scammed us good.
You're our hero.
Nothing was a scam.
[Sarcastically.]
Yeah, right.
No scam! No scam! [Sighs.]
I give up.
So, Finn, how are the marshmallow kids doing? Eh? [Gasps.]
Fellas! I'm scamming these numbers into subtracting themselves from each other.
Ha ha.
Suckers.
We're scamming this globe into teaching us about geography.
I had to get kind of rough with this book, but now it's putting thoughts into my head For nothing! You did a wonderful job, Finn.
Now all we need to do is worry about him.
Same as before.
Let's do it some more.
Finn: Jake.
Uh These gentlemen dropped their shells.
Heh.
Gah-ooh
[Penguins chirp.]
[All cheering.]
[Screeches.]
[Duck quacks.]
Adventure Time Come on, grab your friends We'll go to very distant lands With Jake the dog and Finn the human The fun will never end It's Adventure Time [Laughter.]
[Splat!.]
Gary: Hey, Johnny.
Look at this.
It's the notorious poop gang making a big mess all over our five-way intersection.
Your five-way intersection? This is our five-way intersection.
No, no.
It's theirs.
Ours is, like, way over there.
Well, if they want it, they can take it.
You hear that, boys? Fire us up, Hugo.
Uh Yeah, well, whatever, marshmallow kids.
Okay, you guys, let's get this over to the orphanage for their charity jam sale.
Bless you, marshmallow kids.
Always keeping the bad elements at bay.
Hey, Tommy, is it okay if me and the boys set up a small card table outside the tavern? We're thinking about playing some games.
Games? I like games.
[Chuckles.]
Sure, Tommy.
Who doesn't? [Both laugh.]
[Both chuckle.]
[Chuckling continues.]
That one.
You win again! - Yeah! - Yeah, all right! - Hmm? - This guy just won five times in a row! Johnny: Huh.
Quickest Golly.
Okay, same as before.
Let's do it some more.
The way to make money is to point - To the shell with the pea.
- Gee.
Huh! I know! How much can I wager? As much as you've got.
And they laugh at me for carrying my life savings in my pocket That one.
Ooh! There we go.
Banana Guards, move out! Let's roll.
Wee-ooh! Wee-ooh! Wee-ooh! Wee-ooh! Wee-ooh! Wee-ooh! Wee-ooh! Wee-ooh! Wee-ooh! Wee-ooh! Wee-ooh! Wee-ooh! Wee-ooh! Wee Where'd they go? Jake! They're in tunnel four! [Tires screeching.]
Yeah! Banana Guards ain't never gonna get us.
End of the line, marshmallow kids.
- Aw! - Aw! Okay, Jake.
Scare 'em straight.
Jake: That's right.
I used to be like you kids Making 20 bucks a day, feeling like a king.
Uh, we make Wow.
That's a lot.
Okay, Jake.
Why don't you take off? I think I got this.
Wow.
500 bucks.
Wow.
Sorry, guys, but I got to take y'all in for baby booking.
- Aw, man! Not again! - Oh! Come on! Eh, forget it, fellas.
Finn doesn't know what it's like to grow up on the streets.
He lives in a tree.
- Whoa! - No way! We've never even seen a tree.
That can't be true.
There's a tree right over there.
That's a tree? It's beautiful! Us street kids sure are learning a lot from you.
More than we'd ever learn from baby booking, that's for sure.
Hmm.
Hey, Peebs, I think all these scamps need is a nature walk.
Sounds good, Finn.
I trust you.
Gary: Ha ha! All right! You hear that, gang? Finn's taking us out of the city! - Yay! - Yeah, yay! [All cheering.]
Look at all these bugs.
Just like in my Mom's kitchen.
Look at me! I'm a rock climber! I'm flying! If you guys think this biz is cool, check out this other biz.
See this fallen tree? Jake and I laid it over this river last summer, and we call it "shortcut bridge.
" Check it.
- Wow! - Ooh! - So cool! - Wow! Pretty cool, huh? Now you guys! Okay! Yeah! That's it, Gary! Guys, cheer him on! Yay! Together: [Chanting.]
Gary! Gary! Gary! Gary! Gary, be careful! - Gary! - Gary! Thanks for pulling me out of that water street, Finn.
It's called a river, Gary.
A river.
Boy, wait till I tell the fellas.
Hey, fellas.
What are you doing there? Trying to build a [Gasps.]
[Squirrel chatters.]
Aw, what?! I went out on a limb for you guys.
What's a limb? A limb is like a branch on a [Laughs.]
This guy.
How'd we do, boys? We made about 42 nuts.
[Laughing.]
Holy cats.
These forest folks are some grade-a rubes.
Easy pickings, I tell you.
Sucker city! Finn: Hey, you guys tricked me.
[Laughter.]
Hey, wait! [Brring! Brring! Brring! Brring! Brring!.]
Hey, Finn, just wanted to see how the nature walk is going.
Uh You know, those marshmallow kids remind me of you when you were a young lad.
Uh I'm glad you're helping them get on the right path.
- Thanks.
-Okay, got to run.
I'll assume everything's great because if it wasn't, you would have said something.
Bye.
[Sighs.]
[Laughter.]
You lied to her.
You're worse than us.
No, you guys.
He's better than us.
- Huh? - Huh? He just pulled one over on the princess.
But he's a dope! Nah.
Don't you get it? He's just pretending to be a dope, but deep down, he's a grifter like us.
What? See? Look at him right now.
He's all, "who me?" Ha.
We could learn a lot from him.
Teach us everything you know, Finn.
I guess that works.
We have to keep warm in the woods, so we're gonna build a fire.
So, you take a minimum of two sticks, and you rub them together.
- Huh? - Huh? Um, okay.
You need to scam a couple of sticks.
You can usually spot your average dimwitted sticks around these tree dummies.
You trick them into a bundle like so.
You grab two marks and defraud them into rubbing together.
You flimflam your breath onto the sticks.
[Blowing.]
You bamboozle these flaming idiot sticks onto the other marks.
And all of them will catch on fire Like a bunch of suckers.
- Whoa! - Whoa! These sticks are stone-cold dopes.
[Laughter.]
[Thunder rumbles.]
Looks like the clouds are gonna drop a dime on us.
So I'll show youse guys how to build a shelter.
- Build? - Build? Yeah.
You can always scam nature into being a shelter.
You find a couple more branch rubes.
You mislead the longest branch to lay horizontal between two blockhead trees.
Then you double-cross some leafy boughs into leaning against each other.
Bam! You got a roof.
[Laughter.]
You like how I did that? You got to be real conniving.
Stick with me, boys.
I'll teach you all the forest hustles.
When you get hungry, you sneak up to a "boosh," and wham! You hoax the berries.
Heh! Food for nothing! These bushes are some easy marks, fellas.
- Good thing we scammed a fire.
- Yeah.
This open air would have hoodwinked our body temperature.
Toss me some of those sweet bloobies, Gary.
- Hup! - [Sighs.]
I got to get a picture of this.
Wish I had a camera.
I'll just try to remember it good.
And Perfect.
Caramel quicksand! Mallow kids, help! I'm sinking! Say, what kind of scam is this? Aah! It's no scam! I'm really sinking! Oh, wait.
Do you want us to scam the quicksand? Throw me, uh Scam me a rope! You fellas see any fancy ropes around here? Hey, you! Vine! Whoops.
Hey, I barely touched him.
Heck, I know I'd rather be a rope than a boring old vine.
Gary: Yeah, you want to be a dumb plant your whole life? I'm sinking, dagnabit! How are we gonna scam this vine into being thrown over to Finn? Just yank it down! [Bubbling.]
Yank it down? What does that mean? Hey, fellas, you know what always works? - Pea, pea.
Where's the pea? - Gee.
I don't like the looks of this.
We have to go old school.
- No way, man.
- No way, man.
We promised ourselves never to go old school unless things got serious.
Things have gotten serious.
Maybe this vine needs a sandwich packed with a slap! How does my slap sandwich taste? You're a rope from now on, see? [All grunting.]
- You want some more? - How does this feel? You need some more of this? [Plonk!.]
Aw, geez.
We killed him.
[Gasps.]
- Yay! - Yay! Together: [Chanting.]
Finn! Finn! Finn! Thanks, marshmallow kids.
I thought I was going to sink forever.
But we failed your test, Mr.
Finn.
We couldn't scam this guy into being a rope.
We had to resort to low violence.
Together: We ain't worthy to be your students.
You can't use scams to save somebody from quicksand.
You kids weren't scamming sticks or branches or anything.
You've been camping the whole time.
- No scam?! - No scam?! Wow.
You scammed us into thinking we were scamming.
You scammed us good.
You're our hero.
Nothing was a scam.
[Sarcastically.]
Yeah, right.
No scam! No scam! [Sighs.]
I give up.
So, Finn, how are the marshmallow kids doing? Eh? [Gasps.]
Fellas! I'm scamming these numbers into subtracting themselves from each other.
Ha ha.
Suckers.
We're scamming this globe into teaching us about geography.
I had to get kind of rough with this book, but now it's putting thoughts into my head For nothing! You did a wonderful job, Finn.
Now all we need to do is worry about him.
Same as before.
Let's do it some more.
Finn: Jake.
Uh These gentlemen dropped their shells.
Heh.
Gah-ooh