Buffy the Vampire Slayer s07e22 Episode Script

Previously on "Buffy the Vampire Slayer": There's only one thing I've ever been sure of: you.
You're the one, Buffy.
- Trying to turn a bunch of girls into an army.
- (Buffy) They're potential slayers.
(Anya) We're dealing with the Big Bad that can be any dead person.
Where are we going? (Buffy) "Dearest Dawn, Don't be angry with Xander.
This isn't the place for either of you.
" A scythe.
Forged in secrecy for one like you.
Does this mean I can win? - (Caleb) I was kinda hoping it'd go this way.
- (man) Hey! At least you could tell me you're glad to see me.
That bitch.
Well, I guess that qualifies as happy to see me.
Angel, what are you doing here? Don't even.
I just wanna bask.
OK, I'm basked.
What are you doing here? Not savin' a damsel in distress, that's for sure.
Oh, you know me.
Not much with the damselling.
- Got your share of distress, though.
- You heard? I got coverage on the whole thing.
It's very gripping.
- It needs a third act.
- You have to leave LA.
It's the First, right? The First Evil.
The power that tried to convince me to kill myself.
Yeah.
It's gotten more ambitious since then.
It's raising an army.
Yeah, well, it failed once, and I'm here to tell you Are you ready to finish this, bitch? OK.
How many times do I have to kill you? Ballpark figure.
You understand nothing.
Aah! You think you have power over me? Stupid girl.
You'll never stop me.
You don't have the (crunch) (gasps) Who does nowadays? - (halves of body fall) - OK.
Now I'm pissed.
Where is he? He had to split.
Yeah, she needs you real bad.
I'll have the guys go through that.
See if there's anything new.
Reliable source? - Not remotely.
- Well, any port in an apocalypse.
I, uh, brought somethin' else as well.
I can already tell you, I have nothing that goes with that.
- It's not for you.
- Splainy? I don't know everything.
It's very powerful and probably very dangerous.
It has a purifying power, a cleansing power possibly scrubbing bubbles.
The translation is, uh It bestows strength to the right person who wears it.
- And the right person is? - Someone ensouled, but stronger than human.
A champion.
As in me.
- Or me.
- No.
I don't know enough about this to risk you wearing it.
Besides, you got that real cool axe thing going for you.
So you're gonna be with me in this? Shoulder to shoulder.
I'm yours.
No.
- No, what? - No.
You're not gonna be in this fight.
- Why the hell not? - Because I can't risk you.
- You need me in this.
- No, I need you gone.
Why? If I lose, if this thing gets past Sunnydale, then it's days - maybe hours - before the rest of the world goes.
- I need a second front, and you to run it.
- OK.
That's one reason.
What's the other? There is no other.
Is it Spike? You're not tellin' me something.
His scent - I remember it pretty well.
Vampires.
Anybody ever tell you the smelling-people thing's a little gross? - Is he your boyfriend? - Is that your business? Are you in love with him? OK.
Maybe I'm out of line, but this is a curve ball for me.
I mean, we are talking about Spike here.
It's different.
He's different.
- He has a soul now.
- Oh.
- Well.
- What? - That's great.
Everyone's got a soul now.
- He'll make a difference.
I started it.
The whole having a soul.
- Before it was all the cool new thing.
- Oh, my God.
- Are you 12? - I get the brushoff for Captain Peroxide.
- It doesn't bring out the champion in me.
- You're not getting the brushoff.
Are you gonna go all Dawson on me every time I have a boyfriend? Aha! Boyfriend.
He's not.
But he is in my heart.
That'll end well.
What was the highlight of our relationship? When you broke up with me or when I killed you? I'm well aware of my stellar history with guys.
(sighs) And, no, I don't see fat grandchildren in the offing with Spike.
But I don't think that really matters right now.
In the midst of all this insanity, a couple of things are actually starting to make sense.
And the guy thing (sighs) I always feared there was something wrong with me, because I couldn't make it work.
- But maybe I'm not supposed to.
- Because you're the Slayer? Because OK.
I'm cookie dough.
I'm not done baking.
I'm not finished becoming whoever the hell it is I'm gonna turn out to be.
I make it through this, and the next thing, and the next thing, and maybe one day, I turn around and realise I'm ready.
I'm cookies.
And then, you know, if I want someone to eat m or enjoy warm delicious cookie me, then that's fine.
That'll be then.
When I'm done.
Any thoughts on who might enjoy Do I have to go with the cookie analogy? I'm not really thinking that far ahead.
That's kind of the point.
I'll go start workin' on the second front.
Make sure I don't have to use it.
Angel.
I do sometimes think that far ahead.
Sometimes is something.
Be a long time coming.
Years, if ever.
I ain't gettin' any older.
Ow.
Dumbass.
Don't look at me.
This is a Summers thing.
It's all very violent.
If you get killed, I'm telling.
Did you find out anything about the scythe? It slices, dices, and makes julienne preacher.
Caleb? - I cut him in half.
- All right! - (Anya) He had that coming.
- Party in my eye socket.
Everyone's invited! Sometimes I shouldn't say words.
So, where's Tall, Dark and Forehead? Let me guess.
You can smell him? Yeah, that and I also used my enhanced vampire eyeballs to watch you kissing him.
It was a hello.
Most people don't use their tongues to say hello.
- Or I guess they do, but - There were no tongues.
- Besides, he's gone.
- Oh, just popped by for a quickie, then? Good.
I haven't had enough jealous-vampire crap for one night.
He wears lifts, you know.
One of these days I'm gonna put you two in a room and let you wrestle it out.
- No problem at this end.
- Hm.
- There could be oil of some kind involved.
- Where's the trinket? - The who-ket? - The necklace your sweetie gave you.
The one with all the power.
I believe it's mine now.
- How do you figure? - Someone with a soul but more than human? Angel meant to wear it.
That means I'm the qualified party.
- It's volatile.
We don't know - You need someone strong to bear it then.
You were planning on givin' it to Andrew? Angel said the amulet was meant to be worn by a champion.
Been called a lot of things in my time.
Faith still has my room.
Well, you're not stayin' here.
You can't buy me off with shiny beads and sweet talk.
You got Angel breath.
I'm not gonna let you whack me back and forth like a rubber ball.
I've got my pride, you know.
I understand.
Clearly you don't, cos the whole "having my pride" thing was just a smoke screen.
Oh, thank God.
I don't know what I would have done if you'd have gone up those stairs.
Pretty, ain't it? - You're not him.
- No, you killed him right and proper.
Terrible loss.
This man was my good right arm.
Course, it don't pain me too much.
Don't need an arm.
Got an army.
- An army of vampires.
However will I fight? - Every day our numbers swell.
But then you do have an army of your own.
don't know the pointy end of a stake.
- Maybe I should call this off.
- Ever considered a cool name? Since you're incorporeal and basically powerless.
How about "The Taunter"? - Strikes fear in the heart - I will overrun this earth.
When my army outnumbers the humans on this earth, the scales will tip and I will be made flesh.
Talk on.
I'm not afraid of you.
Then why aren't you asleep in your dead lover's arms? Cos he can't help you.
Nor Faith, nor your friends, certainly not your wannaslay brigade.
None of those girlies will ever know real power unless you're dead.
You know the drill.
"Into every generation, a slayer is born.
" "One girl in all the world.
She alone will have the strength and skill to" There's that word again.
What you are.
How you'll die.
Alone.
Where's your snappy comeback? - You're right.
- Hm.
Not your best.
I'm drowning in footwear! Weird dream.
Buffy? - Is there something wrong? - No.
Yeah.
I just realised something.
Something that really never occurred to me before.
We're gonna win.
What do you think? That depends.
Are you in any way kidding? - You don't think it's a good idea? - It's pretty radical, B.
It's a lot more than that.
Buffy, what you said, it flies in the face of everything we've ever every generation has ever done in the fight against evil.
I think it's bloody brilliant.
- You mean that? - If you want my opinion.
- I really do.
- Whoa, hey.
Not to poop on the party, but I'm the guy that's gonna have to pull this thing off.
- It is beaucoup de mojo.
- This goes beyond anything I've ever done.
It's a total loss of control, and not in a nice, wholesome, "my girlfriend has a pierced tongue" kind of way.
I wouldn't ask if I didn't think you could do it.
- I'm not sure that I'm stable enough.
- You can do this, Willow.
We'll get the coven on the line, and we'll find out how they can help.
- I'll - Oh! - Pierced tongue.
- Dawn needs to do research.
- Yes, you do.
- It's cool.
Watcherjunior to the library.
I'll go dig up my sources.
Quite literally.
- Some of them are dead.
- Let's assemble the cannon fodder.
- That's not what we're calling 'em, sweetie.
- Not to their faces.
What am I, insensitive? (Buffy) I hate this.
I hate being here.
I hate that you have to be here.
I hate that there's evil, and that I was chosen to fight it.
I wish, a whole lot of the time, that I hadn't been.
I know a lot of you wish I hadn't been either.
But this isn't about wishes.
This is about choices.
I believe we can beat this evil.
Not when it comes, not when its army is ready.
Now.
Tomorrow morning I'm opening the seal.
I'm going down into the Hellmouth, and I'm finishing this once and for all.
Right now you're asking yourself "What makes this different?" "What makes us anything more than a bunch of girls being picked off one by one?" It's true none of you have the power that Faith and I do.
So here's the part where you make a choice.
- It's one hell of a risky idea.
- Buffy's wacky that way.
Yeah.
There's one more vent by the stairs.
We block that, they got no sewer access.
- Should drive them up into the school.
- Assuming they get past us.
- Which, no offence, I am.
- Come on, you gotta have a little faith.
- I think I've had my share, thanks.
- I trundled right into that one, didn't I? Look, I'm sorry if it seemed like I was blowing you off the other day.
I was just trying to, you know, blow you off.
- Yeah, I figured that one out all by myself.
- It's nothing personal.
It's just after I get bouncy with a guy, there's not much more I need to know about him.
- That's bleak.
- Way of the world.
That's good to know cos I thought it was a more defensive, isolationist slayer crap.
And he comes out swingin'.
Faith, there's a whole world out there that you don't even know about, and a lot of the men in it are pretty decent guys.
They'd surprise you.
A guy looks at me, let's just say his priorities shift.
- Why, because you're so hot? - It is what it is, yo.
Oh, please.
I am so much prettier than you are.
Oh, and, uh for the record, our little encounter didn't exactly change my world.
You're trippin'.
That was rock 'em, sock 'em.
No, no, no, no.
It was nice enough, you know, and you're you're very, um enthused, and I think with a little more experience Dude, I got mad skills.
- Yeah, of course.
Let's finish up.
- No, hell with that.
We're goin' again, baby.
- You're gonna learn a little respect here, pal.
- Faith make me a deal, all right? We live through this, you give me the chance to surprise you.
What would be the surprise? You do know the meaning of the word, right? - Fine.
Deal.
- Good enough.
- No way you're prettier than me.
- A little bit, yeah.
I really wish she hadn't said that about me.
What, the thing Buffy said? - I think it's true.
- (whimpers) I'll be with you.
To keep you grounded.
Yeah, well, you might have to keep me stab-ded, if I go to the bad place.
- You're saying I might have to kill you.
- I am.
- Bite me.
- I will.
I mean, I do mean it.
The darkest place I've ever been - this is what lies beyond that.
- This is too important for me to - Buffy believes in you.
You know, Buffy - sweet girl, not that bright.
Hey, I'm the first one to call her out when she's not making sense.
In fact, this may have escaped your keen notice, but I'm kind of a brat.
I've always sort of gotten my way.
So you're gonna make it through this, no matter how dark it gets.
Because now you're my way.
I'd better go over this again.
I'm all turned around.
You're here, yeah? - By the pillar.
I'm protecting this area.
- That puts me over by the door.
Demons around the perimeter.
Right.
I open the door.
You go through the door and are confronted by Trogdor the Burninator.
Bugger it.
Fight.
Adios to five hit points.
Trogdor has badly wounded you.
Wait a minute.
What about my, uh bag of illusions? Illusions against a Burninator? Silly, silly British man.
- I invoke a time flux on Trogdor.
- Step down, girlfriend, you can'tjust Ninth-level sorcerer, and I carry the emerald chalice.
Trogdor is frozen in time.
Deal with it.
Smackdown on Red Riding Hood.
This could get ugly.
Could it get uglier? I was a highly respected watcher, and now I'm a wounded dwarf with the mystical strength of a doily.
I just wish I could sleep.
What kind of person could sleep on a night like this? - Only the crazy ones.
- (snores) (footsteps) Welcome to Sunnydale High.
There's no running in the halls, no yelling, no gum chewing.
Apart from that, there's only one rule.
- If they move, kill them.
- Potentials, in the basement.
- Follow Faith and Spike.
- If you need the bathroom, it's left.
If you don't, picture what you're about to face.
Better to go now.
- My office is through there.
- (Buffy) It's over the seal.
- I'll start getting you set up.
- Thanks.
OK, civilians.
If vampires get upstairs, we've three areas they could get through to another building, then down into the sewers.
Down the hall in the atrium, the north hall here, and through the lounge to the science building.
Now, odds are, most of them will head there.
Teams of two, then.
I suggest you and I take the lounge.
- I concur.
- Xander, I want you with Dawn.
- I concur.
- We'll check out the atrium.
So that leaves me and the dungeon master in the north hall? - We will defend it with our very lives.
- Yes.
We will defend it with his very life.
- Don't be afraid to use him as a shield.
- Good, yes, thanks.
I just wanna say how proud I am to die for this very special cause with you guys.
There's some, um there's some people I'd like to thank, both good and evil.
Um A shout out to my brother Tucker, who gave me the inspiration to summon demons and also Nobody cares, you little monkey.
I'm gonna check out our field of engagement.
- Dawn - No.
Anything you say is gonna sound like goodbye.
So, what do you guys wanna do tomorrow? - Nothing strenuous.
- Mini golf is first to mind.
- We can do better than that.
- I was thinking about shopping.
As usual.
- There's an Arden B in the mall.
- I could use a few items.
Are we gonna discuss this? Save the world to shop? - I crave shoes.
- Aren't you on the patch? - Those never work.
- Here I am, invisible See, I need a new look.
It's this eye-patch thing.
- (Buffy) Go with the secret-agent look.
- (Willow) Or the puffy shirt, pirate The earth is definitely doomed.
You first, B.
- (Kennedy) They should be in place.
- OK.
Magic time.
You ready to (laughs) kill me? Starting to be.
Good.
Fun.
Great.
Brace yourself.
Come on, Red.
Make it happen.
Not to be a buzzkill, love, but my fabulous accessory isn't exactly tingling with power.
I'm not worried.
I'm getting zero juice here, and I look like Elizabeth Taylor.
(Faith) Cheer up, Liz.
Willow's big spell doesn't work, it won't matter what you wear.
I'm not worried.
(shouting and weapons clanging) - I'm not worried.
- (Rona) Really? I'm flashing back to Xander's bathroom speech.
- Buffy.
- I'm not worried.
As long as Willow can work her spell before they see us.
Willow.
(breathes heavily) Oh my Goddess! So here's the part where you make a choice.
What if you could have that power now? In every generation, one slayer is born because a bunch of men who died thousands of years ago made up that rule.
They were powerful men.
This woman is more powerful than all of them combined.
So I say we change the rule.
I say my power should be our power.
Tomorrow, Willow will use the essence of this scythe to change our destiny.
From now on, every girl in the world who might be a slayer, will be a slayer.
Every girl who could have the power, will have the power.
Can stand up.
Will stand up.
Slayers.
Every one of us.
Make your choice.
Are you ready to be strong? These guys are dust.
Willow? You are a goddess.
And you're a slayer.
Get this to Buffy.
Hah! That was nifty.
Buffy! Catch! I could get used to this.
(Kennedy) They're retreating.
(growling) I think they're coming.
Oh, God.
I'm terrified.
I didn't think.
I mean, I I just figured you'd be terrified, and I would be sarcastic about it.
Picture happy things - a lake, candy canes bunnies.
Bunnies! Floppy hoppy bunnies.
I have swimmer's ear! (sizzling) Buffy! Whatever this thing does, I think it's Aargh! Keep the line together! Drive them to the edge! We can't let them Buffy! Hold the line.
Uh! Ah! They call that the greenhouse effect.
Very dangerous.
Rona! Oh, no! Ow! Mommy, this mortal wound is all itchy.
You pulled a nice trick.
You came pretty close to smacking me down.
What more do you want? I want you to get out of my face.
Oh, bollocks.
Buffy! Spike! Everybody out, now! - I can feel it, Buffy.
- What? My soul.
It's really there.
Kinda stings.
- (girl) Get out of the way! - What? (girl) Hurry up! The bus.
Get 'em on the bus.
Everybody, this way! Anya! Anya! - Go on, then.
- No, you've done enough.
- You could still - You've beat them back.
It's for me to do the cleanup.
Buffy, come on! Gotta move, lamb.
I think it's fair to say school's out for bloody summer.
- Spike! - I mean it! I gotta do this.
I love you.
No, you don't.
But thanks for sayin' it.
(rumbling) Now go! I wanna see how it ends.
(laughs) Look at me! This is nothing! Stay awake! This is nothing! Why didn't I die? Ease off.
We're clear.
I don't understand.
What did this? Spike.
So, did you see? - I was scared.
I'm sorry.
- Did you see what happened? I mean, was she? She was incredible.
She died saving my life.
That's my girl.
Always doing the stupid thing.
(Faith) It's not bad.
You just sit here.
- I'll get someone to - Hey.
Did did we make it? We made it.
We won.
(coughs) Surprise.
Looks like the Hellmouth is officially closed for business.
There is another one in Cleveland.
Not to spoil the moment.
We saved the world.
We changed the world.
I can feel them, Buffy.
All over.
Slayers are awakening everywhere.
- We'll have to find them.
- We will.
Yes, because the mall was in Sunnydale, so there's no hope of going there tomorrow.
We destroyed the mall? I fought on the wrong side.
All those shops gone.
The Gap, Starbucks, Toys "R" Us.
Who will remember those landmarks unless we tell the world? - We have a lot of work ahead of us.
- Can I push him in? - You've got my vote.
- I just wanna sleep, yo, for, like, a week.
I guess we all could, if we wanted to.
Yeah.
The First is scrunched, so What do you think we should do, Buffy? You're not the one-and-only chosen any more.
Just gotta live like a person.
How's that feel? (Dawn) Yeah, Buffy.
What are we gonna do now? Urgh! Argh!