Bewitched (1964) s07e27 Episode Script
Laugh, Clown, Laugh
[.]
What got you up so early? A very unhappy client, who's coming in this morning for the express purpose of blowing his top.
Oh? I have a feeling, unless I come up with a brainstorm, McMann & Tate is about to part company with Mount Rocky Mutual Insurance.
And the feeling won't be mutual, right? Sam, it's too early for that.
What would you like for breakfast? If you've got any brain food, I could sure use it.
Oh.
While you're here, what do you think of this layout for Mount Rocky? "Insure with Mount Rocky and guarantee a future that isn't.
" Guarantee a future that isn't rocky.
I'll see what I have in the way of brain food.
[.]
[ANIMAL SNORTING.]
[SNORTING.]
I'll pass up my three guesses.
What is this all about? If it was anyone but you, Durwood, it would be obvious.
I was playing sand polo in the Sahara.
How do you play polo from a camel's back with such a short mallet? Tall ball.
Ha-ha-ha.
Samantha, will you kindly get this beast out of here? And the camel too.
I don't say you have no sense of humor, but the one you have is sadly in need of replacement.
Endora, first of all, I never laugh when I see something tragic.
And secondly, while a living room may be a funny place for a camel, it's not so funny when it's our living room.
And thirdly, if Sweetheart, why not just leave it at "secondly"? Okay.
And I hope you won't misunderstand if I skip breakfast.
It's just that, when your mother arrived, my appetite left.
[.]
Face it, Samantha.
That man simply has no sense of humor.
Just because he doesn't find you amusing? Does a turkey laugh at an ax? Half of that comparison is revolting.
What is revolting is your treatment of Darrin.
It is unforgivable, detestable and inhuman.
Thank you, my darling.
You've made my day.
What's the use? Oh! [NARRATOR READS ON-SCREEN TEXT.]
[.]
[.]
[.]
Betty, be sure and notify me just as soon as Mount Rocky I mean, Mr.
Jameson.
Arrives.
[MAGIC CHIMES.]
[ENDORA LAUGHING.]
We simply must do something about your abysmal sense of humor.
It isn't fair for my daughter to be saddled with such a glum-dum.
To avoid the shock Of sudden wit.
We'll start from scratch, Bit by bit.
A chime will cause Your brain to whirl.
Your jokes will cause Their hair to curl.
Ah, Mr.
Jameson just arrived.
He's in with Mr.
Tate.
Oh, and your wife said to tell you she'd be out shopping for a while.
My wife? When did she? [MAGIC CHIMES.]
Speaking of wives, you know why they call them the better half, don't you? When they ask you for shopping money, you'd better have it.
[LAUGHS NERVOUSLY.]
That's what a wife is: Someone to spend with the rest of your life.
[CHUCKLES.]
But a wife is a great comfort.
When you've got all the kind of troubles you never had as a bachelor.
Ha-ha-ha.
[MAGIC CHIMES.]
If you're wondering who to blame this on, uh, w-w-we were watching a comic on television last night.
And, uh, my mother-in-law insisted [MAGIC CHIMES.]
My mother-in-law has one terrible habit: Breathing.
[CHUCKLES.]
Mr.
Stephens, what's gotten into you? [MAGIC CHIMES.]
My mother-in-law.
[INTERCOM BUZZES.]
Yes? Yes, he is.
It's Mr.
Tate.
He sounds mad.
Tell him Tell him I'm not here.
I just told him you were.
Oh.
Uh, hi, Larry.
What's up? What's up? You are.
Look, uh, Larry, I'm not feeling too well.
I was wondering if it wouldn't be wiser for you to carry on alone.
Let me put it this way: No.
I'll give you 30 seconds to get in here.
Personally, I think you're making a mistake keeping Stephens on my account.
He's too flighty.
Insurance is a serious business.
You think Stephens isn't serious? I don't have a man in the place who takes his job more seriously.
Ah.
Sorry I'm late.
Well, how are you, Mr.
Jameson? Well, aside from my bursitis, which is killing me, not so good.
Can I get you anything? Uh, a drink of water to wash these down.
[MAGIC CHIMES.]
Drink.
Speaking of drinking, I know a guy who can really drink.
He comes back from lunch so loaded, they make him use the freight elevator.
If there's a nip in the air, he even tries to drink that.
[DARRIN LAUGHS.]
[MAGIC CHIMES.]
Mm.
Ah.
Just a few jokes to lighten the occasion.
Boy, have you got the wrong occasion.
Water, Tate, quick.
Darrin, when was the last time your doctor gave you a checkup? I Not too long ago.
What about your psychiatrist? [MAGIC CHIMES.]
Psychiatrist? Anyone who goes to a psychiatrist ought to have his head examined.
You were right, Darrin.
You're sick.
Take the rest of the day off.
Two friends meet at a psychiatrist's.
One asks, "Are you coming or going?" The other one says And the other one says, "If I knew that, I wouldn't be here.
" [LAUGHS.]
[GROANS.]
[.]
[DOOR SLAMS.]
That was either an earthquake or Darrin.
DARRIN: Sam! Or both.
Hi, sweetheart.
What's wrong? Your mother.
Oh, dear.
Did she do something mean? [MAGIC CHIMES.]
Mean? Your mother is so mean, she has a testimonial award from Attila the Hun.
If you were drowning, she'd throw you the whole rope.
[MAGIC CHIMES.]
Are you beginning to get the picture? Mother! This is, without a doubt, one of the meanest things you've ever done to him.
[PHONE RINGS.]
Hello? Oh, hi, Larry.
[MOUTHING WORDS.]
Oh? He left the office? He hasn't come home yet, huh? W-Well, we had a little misunderstanding earlier.
I'm sure he'll tell you about it.
I'm sure he will.
Tell Darrin I've been saving his neck with Jameson.
I ad-libbed his ideas, and by some miracle, the client is still interested.
But I need Darrin's layouts, and he took them with him.
Tell him he's to bring them right back to the office.
Right back.
Got it.
Bye-bye.
[.]
Sam, what am I gonna do? I can't go back to the office with this This affliction.
I'll tell you one thing.
Your mother is going to pay for this.
I was only trying to give him a sense of humor and make things a little more pleasant around here.
And that is the truth.
Just take the spell off him.
Oh, all right.
There.
Thank you, Mother.
Endora, someday you're going to go too far, and it won't be soon enough for me.
Darrin.
Oh, Sam, call Larry and tell him I'm just leaving.
And, Endora, if you don't stay out of my life, I'm going to call in an exterminator.
[.]
[DOOR OPENS, CLOSES.]
Life isn't just one big joke.
Perhaps not.
But he is.
Ooh! Ugh! Ooh, you're driving me out of my tree.
[.]
[MAGIC CHIMES.]
[LAUGHS.]
Your view of life I find quite sick.
This spell will change What makes you tick.
At serious things You'll laugh and giggle.
The graver the note The more it will tickle [LAUGHS.]
[ENGINE STARTS.]
[.]
Uh, hi, Mr.
Stephens.
Oh, hello, Mrs.
Kravitz.
How are things? Oh, just heard from my sister, the one in St.
Louis, she's gonna have an operation.
An operation? [LAUGHING.]
What's so funny? It's just Just, ahem, something I thought of.
What's the matter with you? Believe me, I'm not laughing at you.
I'm laughing at myself.
Ha-ha-ha.
Uh.
Excuse me, there's something I forgot in the house.
[.]
[.]
Larry, I-I told you, he left a few minutes ago.
He should be there soon.
[.]
Unless he gets held up.
Goodbye.
Sweetheart, what's wrong? She did it to me again.
Mother? What'd she do now? She's fixed it so that when I hear something sad, I laugh.
Oh, that's awful.
[LAUGHING.]
Oh, you poor thing.
[LAUGHING.]
Oh.
Oh, Darrin Sam, please, stop.
Don't say anything serious.
Just call Larry back and stall him.
Now, I'm going in the den, and close the door so I won't be able to hear anything.
And if I'm lucky, I won't be able to think either.
N Sam, if you love me, don't talk to me.
[.]
[BUZZES.]
Yes? Put her on.
It's Stephens' wife.
What's happening, Sam? Came back home? Why? Well, uh, Larry, he was feeling a little bit under the weather and LARRY: What?! Larry, you're screaming.
[CHUCKLES.]
If you were in my position, so would you.
Let me ask you something, Sam, how sick is he? Well, he really isn't well at all.
That makes two of us.
Well, okay, Sam, goodbye.
Stephens is very sick.
That makes three of us.
I think I'll go back to the hotel, pick up Mrs.
Jameson and take an earlier plane out.
You can't do that.
I beg your pardon? I-I mean, you made the trip out from Denver.
It would be such a waste if you didn't at least Why don't I drive you and Mrs.
Jameson to the airport? Stephens' house is on the way.
We can stop, I'll show you his layouts.
I thought you said he was sick.
Yes.
But I don't think he's unconscious.
[CHUCKLES.]
Mother? Mother, I'm sure you're here, because I know how much you love your work.
Haven't you had enough fun? [TICKING.]
"No.
And give my regards to laughing boy.
" Oh, Mother, you're absolutely heartless.
[TICKING.]
"Flatterer.
" Oh.
DARRIN: Sam? Don't say a word.
Just, uh, shake your head.
Do you have anything to report? Did you contact your mother? Is she gonna do anything about this? I could have answered that myself.
[DOORBELL RINGS.]
[.]
It's Mrs.
Kravitz.
I'd better clear out.
With her bad news, she'd keep me in stitches.
Hi, Mrs.
Kravitz.
Hi.
Where's your cup? Cup? Don't you wanna borrow some sugar? Oh, no.
I just stopped by to ask, how's Mr.
Stephens? I saw him before, and he acted very, very strange.
He just kept laughing and laughing.
Well, you know, they say that laughter is a sign of health.
Only if there's something to laugh at.
If you need the name of a good psychiatrist, I have one.
I'm sure you do.
Well, I'd better be running along.
Sam, I've been thinking.
With all these new countries emerging in Africa, maybe it'd be a good place to start an advertising agency.
The weather's mild, and Oh, Mrs.
Stephens.
I I forgot something.
Yes, Mrs.
Kravitz? I just remembered.
I could use that cup of sugar after all.
One cup of sugar, coming up.
Incidentally, did you hear about the accident over on Elm last night? It was a four-car crack-up.
[MUFFLED LAUGHING.]
No.
[MUFFLED LAUGHING.]
What's that? What's what? [MUFFLED LAUGHING.]
That.
I don't know.
Mice, maybe.
Mice? And, Mrs.
Kravitz, if you wanna be a good neighbor, you won't tell a soul.
Oh, you know me.
Uh.
W-What about your sugar? What about it? Oh, that.
Oh, well, if you don't mind, I'll be back later.
Oh, hi.
LARRY: Hello.
Oh, Mrs.
Fremont! Oh, hi, Sam.
Hi, Larry.
What are you doing here? I'm driving the Jamesons to the airport, and I wanted to stop by and get Darrin's layout.
Mr.
and Mrs.
Jameson, Mrs.
Stephens.
SAMANTHA & JAMESON: How do you do? Unh! Ow! What was that? Darrin! What happened? Ah.
I was just resting.
[CHUCKLES.]
Well, how are you, Mr.
Jameson? I'm sorry we've been having so much trouble getting together.
Uh, Darrin, this is Mrs.
Jameson.
Darrin Stephens, one of my young geniuses.
Erratic, but talented.
How do you do, Mrs.
Jameson? Well, have you been enjoying your stay in town? Not especially.
I have a miserable migraine.
Oh, that's a shame.
[LAUGHING.]
Well, I'm glad you think my migraine's funny.
[LAUGHING.]
I don't know what he's got, but I hope it isn't contagious.
Now, don't get too close, Martha, he's sick.
[LAUGHING.]
[LAUGHING NERVOUSLY.]
Oh, my.
Ha-ha.
Did you two eat anything for lunch, or did you just drink it? I'm sorry, Larry, but that neighbor lady that just left, well, she is such a terrible gossip.
And I said to Darrin: "She certainly has a keen sense of rumor.
" [CHUCKLES.]
[BOTH LAUGHING.]
Yeah, yeah.
She's on spiking terms with everybody.
That is funny.
[LAUGHS.]
Well, I guess it is contagious.
Tate, what are we waiting for? Darrin? The layouts.
Uh, right.
Please, come in and sit down.
Well, just for a minute.
Tate, we're thinking of starting a whole new line of coverage this year.
Pollution insurance.
Yes, that's very interesting.
Insure people against damage from smog, water pollution, oil spillage [LAUGHING.]
Don't tell me you think pollution is funny too? No.
No, on the contrary, I think it's deadly serious.
Are you putting us on? Oh, Larry.
Larry, you guessed it.
Darrin was actually trying to drive home a point, right? Right.
I guess I made a wrong turn.
Oh.
Ha.
[DARRIN & SAMANTHA LAUGHING.]
Well, the point I've been trying to get across is Well, see these layouts? Hm? Darrin, what are you doing? I'm throwing out the old and bringing in the new.
Mr.
Jameson, I-I feel that Mount Rocky's approach to the public is a little too serious.
[LAUGHS.]
Insurance is a business that deals in catastrophe and disaster.
[DARRIN LAUGHING.]
You may ask, why am I laughing? I'll bite.
Darrin's idea is to use laughter as a form of release.
Now, we all know that laughter is a sign of health.
Mr.
Jameson, I don't want you to miss your plane.
Just a minute, let's hear him out.
Yes, Darrin, let's hear you out.
What have you got in mind specifically, Stephens? Well, uh, specifically I'm not prepared to Oh, Darrin.
Hm? Don't be so modest.
I think he had a terrific idea for a slogan.
What's that, Darrin? What's that, Sam? "Put a little laughter in your disaster.
" [LAUGHS.]
That is very funny.
Is that sensational? Do you think so? What do you think? Keep going, Stephens.
Keep going, Stephens.
Well, here's another one I've been kicking around.
Uh "Keep your mother-in-law at home, where most accidents happen.
" [BOTH LAUGH.]
That's funny.
[LAUGHING.]
Oh, Harold.
Stop being such a wet blanket.
If you'd learn to laugh a little, it might help your bursitis.
And even if it didn't help, it certainly wouldn't hurt.
And besides, I'm sick of hearing you complain about your bursitis.
What about you and your migraine? Where do you think I get my migraine? [SAMANTHA & DARRIN LAUGHING.]
SAMANTHA: Oh, that's cute.
[BOTH LAUGHING.]
Oh, that reminds me of an uncle of mine who's always complaining.
When he gets up, the first thing he says is, "Good moaning.
" Mrs.
Stephens, that's very funny.
Ha-ha.
[ALL LAUGHING.]
Her uncle has such a long face, his barber charges him double for a shave.
[LAUGHING.]
Oh, that's so funny.
[BOTH LAUGHING.]
[LAUGHING.]
I worked for a grouch like that once.
Before he'd fire you, he'd give you a raise so you'd be losing a better job.
Ha-ha-ha! Oh, Larry [ALL LAUGHING.]
Wait a minute.
Wait a minute.
My bursitis is gone.
Oh, that's wonderful, Mr.
Jameson.
Laugh and the world laughs with you.
[ALL LAUGHING.]
[.]
[.]
Mrs.
Stephens? Yeah.
Oh, thank you.
And this.
Thank you.
You're welcome.
Bye-bye.
Who's that from? Wait a second.
Let me look.
"Thank you for a most rewarding afternoon.
Mr.
and Mrs.
Jameson.
" Hm.
Seems to be for me.
"So you'll never forget the health-giving quality of laughter.
" [.]
"Put me down for a laugh.
" [MAN LAUGHING ON RECORDING.]
[LAUGHING.]
[.]
[.]
What got you up so early? A very unhappy client, who's coming in this morning for the express purpose of blowing his top.
Oh? I have a feeling, unless I come up with a brainstorm, McMann & Tate is about to part company with Mount Rocky Mutual Insurance.
And the feeling won't be mutual, right? Sam, it's too early for that.
What would you like for breakfast? If you've got any brain food, I could sure use it.
Oh.
While you're here, what do you think of this layout for Mount Rocky? "Insure with Mount Rocky and guarantee a future that isn't.
" Guarantee a future that isn't rocky.
I'll see what I have in the way of brain food.
[.]
[ANIMAL SNORTING.]
[SNORTING.]
I'll pass up my three guesses.
What is this all about? If it was anyone but you, Durwood, it would be obvious.
I was playing sand polo in the Sahara.
How do you play polo from a camel's back with such a short mallet? Tall ball.
Ha-ha-ha.
Samantha, will you kindly get this beast out of here? And the camel too.
I don't say you have no sense of humor, but the one you have is sadly in need of replacement.
Endora, first of all, I never laugh when I see something tragic.
And secondly, while a living room may be a funny place for a camel, it's not so funny when it's our living room.
And thirdly, if Sweetheart, why not just leave it at "secondly"? Okay.
And I hope you won't misunderstand if I skip breakfast.
It's just that, when your mother arrived, my appetite left.
[.]
Face it, Samantha.
That man simply has no sense of humor.
Just because he doesn't find you amusing? Does a turkey laugh at an ax? Half of that comparison is revolting.
What is revolting is your treatment of Darrin.
It is unforgivable, detestable and inhuman.
Thank you, my darling.
You've made my day.
What's the use? Oh! [NARRATOR READS ON-SCREEN TEXT.]
[.]
[.]
[.]
Betty, be sure and notify me just as soon as Mount Rocky I mean, Mr.
Jameson.
Arrives.
[MAGIC CHIMES.]
[ENDORA LAUGHING.]
We simply must do something about your abysmal sense of humor.
It isn't fair for my daughter to be saddled with such a glum-dum.
To avoid the shock Of sudden wit.
We'll start from scratch, Bit by bit.
A chime will cause Your brain to whirl.
Your jokes will cause Their hair to curl.
Ah, Mr.
Jameson just arrived.
He's in with Mr.
Tate.
Oh, and your wife said to tell you she'd be out shopping for a while.
My wife? When did she? [MAGIC CHIMES.]
Speaking of wives, you know why they call them the better half, don't you? When they ask you for shopping money, you'd better have it.
[LAUGHS NERVOUSLY.]
That's what a wife is: Someone to spend with the rest of your life.
[CHUCKLES.]
But a wife is a great comfort.
When you've got all the kind of troubles you never had as a bachelor.
Ha-ha-ha.
[MAGIC CHIMES.]
If you're wondering who to blame this on, uh, w-w-we were watching a comic on television last night.
And, uh, my mother-in-law insisted [MAGIC CHIMES.]
My mother-in-law has one terrible habit: Breathing.
[CHUCKLES.]
Mr.
Stephens, what's gotten into you? [MAGIC CHIMES.]
My mother-in-law.
[INTERCOM BUZZES.]
Yes? Yes, he is.
It's Mr.
Tate.
He sounds mad.
Tell him Tell him I'm not here.
I just told him you were.
Oh.
Uh, hi, Larry.
What's up? What's up? You are.
Look, uh, Larry, I'm not feeling too well.
I was wondering if it wouldn't be wiser for you to carry on alone.
Let me put it this way: No.
I'll give you 30 seconds to get in here.
Personally, I think you're making a mistake keeping Stephens on my account.
He's too flighty.
Insurance is a serious business.
You think Stephens isn't serious? I don't have a man in the place who takes his job more seriously.
Ah.
Sorry I'm late.
Well, how are you, Mr.
Jameson? Well, aside from my bursitis, which is killing me, not so good.
Can I get you anything? Uh, a drink of water to wash these down.
[MAGIC CHIMES.]
Drink.
Speaking of drinking, I know a guy who can really drink.
He comes back from lunch so loaded, they make him use the freight elevator.
If there's a nip in the air, he even tries to drink that.
[DARRIN LAUGHS.]
[MAGIC CHIMES.]
Mm.
Ah.
Just a few jokes to lighten the occasion.
Boy, have you got the wrong occasion.
Water, Tate, quick.
Darrin, when was the last time your doctor gave you a checkup? I Not too long ago.
What about your psychiatrist? [MAGIC CHIMES.]
Psychiatrist? Anyone who goes to a psychiatrist ought to have his head examined.
You were right, Darrin.
You're sick.
Take the rest of the day off.
Two friends meet at a psychiatrist's.
One asks, "Are you coming or going?" The other one says And the other one says, "If I knew that, I wouldn't be here.
" [LAUGHS.]
[GROANS.]
[.]
[DOOR SLAMS.]
That was either an earthquake or Darrin.
DARRIN: Sam! Or both.
Hi, sweetheart.
What's wrong? Your mother.
Oh, dear.
Did she do something mean? [MAGIC CHIMES.]
Mean? Your mother is so mean, she has a testimonial award from Attila the Hun.
If you were drowning, she'd throw you the whole rope.
[MAGIC CHIMES.]
Are you beginning to get the picture? Mother! This is, without a doubt, one of the meanest things you've ever done to him.
[PHONE RINGS.]
Hello? Oh, hi, Larry.
[MOUTHING WORDS.]
Oh? He left the office? He hasn't come home yet, huh? W-Well, we had a little misunderstanding earlier.
I'm sure he'll tell you about it.
I'm sure he will.
Tell Darrin I've been saving his neck with Jameson.
I ad-libbed his ideas, and by some miracle, the client is still interested.
But I need Darrin's layouts, and he took them with him.
Tell him he's to bring them right back to the office.
Right back.
Got it.
Bye-bye.
[.]
Sam, what am I gonna do? I can't go back to the office with this This affliction.
I'll tell you one thing.
Your mother is going to pay for this.
I was only trying to give him a sense of humor and make things a little more pleasant around here.
And that is the truth.
Just take the spell off him.
Oh, all right.
There.
Thank you, Mother.
Endora, someday you're going to go too far, and it won't be soon enough for me.
Darrin.
Oh, Sam, call Larry and tell him I'm just leaving.
And, Endora, if you don't stay out of my life, I'm going to call in an exterminator.
[.]
[DOOR OPENS, CLOSES.]
Life isn't just one big joke.
Perhaps not.
But he is.
Ooh! Ugh! Ooh, you're driving me out of my tree.
[.]
[MAGIC CHIMES.]
[LAUGHS.]
Your view of life I find quite sick.
This spell will change What makes you tick.
At serious things You'll laugh and giggle.
The graver the note The more it will tickle [LAUGHS.]
[ENGINE STARTS.]
[.]
Uh, hi, Mr.
Stephens.
Oh, hello, Mrs.
Kravitz.
How are things? Oh, just heard from my sister, the one in St.
Louis, she's gonna have an operation.
An operation? [LAUGHING.]
What's so funny? It's just Just, ahem, something I thought of.
What's the matter with you? Believe me, I'm not laughing at you.
I'm laughing at myself.
Ha-ha-ha.
Uh.
Excuse me, there's something I forgot in the house.
[.]
[.]
Larry, I-I told you, he left a few minutes ago.
He should be there soon.
[.]
Unless he gets held up.
Goodbye.
Sweetheart, what's wrong? She did it to me again.
Mother? What'd she do now? She's fixed it so that when I hear something sad, I laugh.
Oh, that's awful.
[LAUGHING.]
Oh, you poor thing.
[LAUGHING.]
Oh.
Oh, Darrin Sam, please, stop.
Don't say anything serious.
Just call Larry back and stall him.
Now, I'm going in the den, and close the door so I won't be able to hear anything.
And if I'm lucky, I won't be able to think either.
N Sam, if you love me, don't talk to me.
[.]
[BUZZES.]
Yes? Put her on.
It's Stephens' wife.
What's happening, Sam? Came back home? Why? Well, uh, Larry, he was feeling a little bit under the weather and LARRY: What?! Larry, you're screaming.
[CHUCKLES.]
If you were in my position, so would you.
Let me ask you something, Sam, how sick is he? Well, he really isn't well at all.
That makes two of us.
Well, okay, Sam, goodbye.
Stephens is very sick.
That makes three of us.
I think I'll go back to the hotel, pick up Mrs.
Jameson and take an earlier plane out.
You can't do that.
I beg your pardon? I-I mean, you made the trip out from Denver.
It would be such a waste if you didn't at least Why don't I drive you and Mrs.
Jameson to the airport? Stephens' house is on the way.
We can stop, I'll show you his layouts.
I thought you said he was sick.
Yes.
But I don't think he's unconscious.
[CHUCKLES.]
Mother? Mother, I'm sure you're here, because I know how much you love your work.
Haven't you had enough fun? [TICKING.]
"No.
And give my regards to laughing boy.
" Oh, Mother, you're absolutely heartless.
[TICKING.]
"Flatterer.
" Oh.
DARRIN: Sam? Don't say a word.
Just, uh, shake your head.
Do you have anything to report? Did you contact your mother? Is she gonna do anything about this? I could have answered that myself.
[DOORBELL RINGS.]
[.]
It's Mrs.
Kravitz.
I'd better clear out.
With her bad news, she'd keep me in stitches.
Hi, Mrs.
Kravitz.
Hi.
Where's your cup? Cup? Don't you wanna borrow some sugar? Oh, no.
I just stopped by to ask, how's Mr.
Stephens? I saw him before, and he acted very, very strange.
He just kept laughing and laughing.
Well, you know, they say that laughter is a sign of health.
Only if there's something to laugh at.
If you need the name of a good psychiatrist, I have one.
I'm sure you do.
Well, I'd better be running along.
Sam, I've been thinking.
With all these new countries emerging in Africa, maybe it'd be a good place to start an advertising agency.
The weather's mild, and Oh, Mrs.
Stephens.
I I forgot something.
Yes, Mrs.
Kravitz? I just remembered.
I could use that cup of sugar after all.
One cup of sugar, coming up.
Incidentally, did you hear about the accident over on Elm last night? It was a four-car crack-up.
[MUFFLED LAUGHING.]
No.
[MUFFLED LAUGHING.]
What's that? What's what? [MUFFLED LAUGHING.]
That.
I don't know.
Mice, maybe.
Mice? And, Mrs.
Kravitz, if you wanna be a good neighbor, you won't tell a soul.
Oh, you know me.
Uh.
W-What about your sugar? What about it? Oh, that.
Oh, well, if you don't mind, I'll be back later.
Oh, hi.
LARRY: Hello.
Oh, Mrs.
Fremont! Oh, hi, Sam.
Hi, Larry.
What are you doing here? I'm driving the Jamesons to the airport, and I wanted to stop by and get Darrin's layout.
Mr.
and Mrs.
Jameson, Mrs.
Stephens.
SAMANTHA & JAMESON: How do you do? Unh! Ow! What was that? Darrin! What happened? Ah.
I was just resting.
[CHUCKLES.]
Well, how are you, Mr.
Jameson? I'm sorry we've been having so much trouble getting together.
Uh, Darrin, this is Mrs.
Jameson.
Darrin Stephens, one of my young geniuses.
Erratic, but talented.
How do you do, Mrs.
Jameson? Well, have you been enjoying your stay in town? Not especially.
I have a miserable migraine.
Oh, that's a shame.
[LAUGHING.]
Well, I'm glad you think my migraine's funny.
[LAUGHING.]
I don't know what he's got, but I hope it isn't contagious.
Now, don't get too close, Martha, he's sick.
[LAUGHING.]
[LAUGHING NERVOUSLY.]
Oh, my.
Ha-ha.
Did you two eat anything for lunch, or did you just drink it? I'm sorry, Larry, but that neighbor lady that just left, well, she is such a terrible gossip.
And I said to Darrin: "She certainly has a keen sense of rumor.
" [CHUCKLES.]
[BOTH LAUGHING.]
Yeah, yeah.
She's on spiking terms with everybody.
That is funny.
[LAUGHS.]
Well, I guess it is contagious.
Tate, what are we waiting for? Darrin? The layouts.
Uh, right.
Please, come in and sit down.
Well, just for a minute.
Tate, we're thinking of starting a whole new line of coverage this year.
Pollution insurance.
Yes, that's very interesting.
Insure people against damage from smog, water pollution, oil spillage [LAUGHING.]
Don't tell me you think pollution is funny too? No.
No, on the contrary, I think it's deadly serious.
Are you putting us on? Oh, Larry.
Larry, you guessed it.
Darrin was actually trying to drive home a point, right? Right.
I guess I made a wrong turn.
Oh.
Ha.
[DARRIN & SAMANTHA LAUGHING.]
Well, the point I've been trying to get across is Well, see these layouts? Hm? Darrin, what are you doing? I'm throwing out the old and bringing in the new.
Mr.
Jameson, I-I feel that Mount Rocky's approach to the public is a little too serious.
[LAUGHS.]
Insurance is a business that deals in catastrophe and disaster.
[DARRIN LAUGHING.]
You may ask, why am I laughing? I'll bite.
Darrin's idea is to use laughter as a form of release.
Now, we all know that laughter is a sign of health.
Mr.
Jameson, I don't want you to miss your plane.
Just a minute, let's hear him out.
Yes, Darrin, let's hear you out.
What have you got in mind specifically, Stephens? Well, uh, specifically I'm not prepared to Oh, Darrin.
Hm? Don't be so modest.
I think he had a terrific idea for a slogan.
What's that, Darrin? What's that, Sam? "Put a little laughter in your disaster.
" [LAUGHS.]
That is very funny.
Is that sensational? Do you think so? What do you think? Keep going, Stephens.
Keep going, Stephens.
Well, here's another one I've been kicking around.
Uh "Keep your mother-in-law at home, where most accidents happen.
" [BOTH LAUGH.]
That's funny.
[LAUGHING.]
Oh, Harold.
Stop being such a wet blanket.
If you'd learn to laugh a little, it might help your bursitis.
And even if it didn't help, it certainly wouldn't hurt.
And besides, I'm sick of hearing you complain about your bursitis.
What about you and your migraine? Where do you think I get my migraine? [SAMANTHA & DARRIN LAUGHING.]
SAMANTHA: Oh, that's cute.
[BOTH LAUGHING.]
Oh, that reminds me of an uncle of mine who's always complaining.
When he gets up, the first thing he says is, "Good moaning.
" Mrs.
Stephens, that's very funny.
Ha-ha.
[ALL LAUGHING.]
Her uncle has such a long face, his barber charges him double for a shave.
[LAUGHING.]
Oh, that's so funny.
[BOTH LAUGHING.]
[LAUGHING.]
I worked for a grouch like that once.
Before he'd fire you, he'd give you a raise so you'd be losing a better job.
Ha-ha-ha! Oh, Larry [ALL LAUGHING.]
Wait a minute.
Wait a minute.
My bursitis is gone.
Oh, that's wonderful, Mr.
Jameson.
Laugh and the world laughs with you.
[ALL LAUGHING.]
[.]
[.]
Mrs.
Stephens? Yeah.
Oh, thank you.
And this.
Thank you.
You're welcome.
Bye-bye.
Who's that from? Wait a second.
Let me look.
"Thank you for a most rewarding afternoon.
Mr.
and Mrs.
Jameson.
" Hm.
Seems to be for me.
"So you'll never forget the health-giving quality of laughter.
" [.]
"Put me down for a laugh.
" [MAN LAUGHING ON RECORDING.]
[LAUGHING.]
[.]
[.]