Adventure Time with Finn & Jake s07e35 Episode Script
Five Short Tables
1 (MOUSE SQUEAKS) (PENGUINS CHIRP) (ALL CHEERING) (SCREECHES) (QUACKS) Adventure Time Come on, grab your friends We'll go to very distant lands With Cake the cat and Fionna the human The fun will never end It's Adventure Time Get back here, you worm! What?! The last chapter of "Cosmic Kissing"? My stirring lyrical interlude from "Fionna Goes to the Market"? The epilogue from "Flame Prince Breaks a Sweat"?! (GASPS) Who gave you permission to edit my fan fiction?! Prepare to be punished! But first what'd ya think? Wenk! Great critique! (ZAP!) Wenk.
I don't need an editor.
I'm my own editor Editor-in-king! Wenk.
Wenk! Wenk, wenk, wenk, wenk, wenk, wenk, wenk, wenk! Ooh! My custom tape! Remix! (CLEARS THROAT) "Sunlight gleamed through the window as Fionna sat patiently at the breakfast table.
" (HUMMING) Hah! Check out my sweet flippin' moves.
You're a real ace in the kitchen.
Roar! Ha ha! Cooking is fun! Here come the flapjacks! Know what's better than cooking? No! Wha?! These are narrative flapjacks.
Darlin', don't you see the brilliant comedy laid out before you? You wouldn't eat Act II before Act I, silly.
Now try starting with the dockworker having a moral crisis.
Okay.
This one? Fionna, this character doesn't serve any thematic purpose until much later in the meal.
Sorry, Cake, but these just look like formless blobs of sweet flapjack to me.
Mmm It's true.
Maybe if I based them off real people, do some "life cooking" Nonfiction flapjacks! Let's go griddle up portraits of the entire kingdom! Got to get my supplies together.
My portable griddle Mmm.
Some peppermint eggs and the twice-cursed flour! Got it! Ready for stories and flapjacks? Heck yes! You're wasting me on breakfast! FIONNA AND CAKE: No one asked you, Flour Demon.
That was like a cookbook written by a genius.
On to the next chapter "A Game of Gumball.
" Prince Gumball would probs make a great flapjack model.
Sometimes he gets so absorbed in his work that he doesn't move for days.
Ooooh! I can break out the pink sea salt and Hey, there's Gumball! (PAPERS RUSTLING) Uh GUMBALL: Is it here? No.
No.
Ah! Just what I need! The periodic table of candy elements! If I use this one and this one here Ha ha! The perfect strategy! Hyup! (INHALES SHARPLY) Butterscotch Butler, the butterscotch Scottish butler, I challenge you! (SIGHS) (SCOTTISH ACCENT) Again? I've gathered all the necessary strategy and tactics to finally defeat you! To play, one must know strategy, yes.
But to know victory, one must also know their opponent! Opponent? Their dreams their ambitions their rrrregrets (HISSES) and their fears! M-My mortality! (POP!) Byeeee! King me.
(GROWLS) (BOTH GASP) (GLASS SHATTERS) Maybe we should find someone a little more relaxed.
How?! How did you know?! Huh? Oh.
You leave that lying around everywhere.
(SCOFFS) Yes! (SIZZLING) Still not quite right.
How about this for some inspiration? (HISSES) Pancakes and flapjacks are nothing alike! (GROANS) Aw, Cake.
It's just that flapjack literature is such a niche genre, and none of my flapjacks are turning out any good.
Come on, Cake.
We've still got 10 minutes before the library closes.
It's Flame Prince! What's that fire hazard doing in the library? Hmm? Oh, no! Oh! I love that author! Have you read her newest book? I-I could, uh, find it for you.
Oh.
Uh, n-nah, that's okay.
I'll just start with this one.
Thanks, though.
Uh Aah! Oh.
Sorry about that.
Uh Uh W-w-w W-w-w Eh No, no, no, no, no! Hot, hot, hot! Wow.
I am not graceful today.
N-Not the first editions! Ow, ow! Ow, ow, ow! Easy Unh! (FOOSH!) Gah! Huh?! Leaving, yes? Yeah.
I'll borrow this one, please.
Of course! I'll just need you to sign it out.
(SIZZLING) (BOTH SCREAM) (SIGHS) I'm sorry.
I have a duty to serve the library's patrons, but I'm also sworn to protect the books.
I can't in good conscience let you take it home.
But maybe I could read this book to you? Listen, I just came in here to use the bathroom, man.
I thought you had to, like, check out a book first to pee.
Actually, I don't even have a library card.
(LAUGHING) (BOTH LAUGHING) (WHOOSH!) (PANTING) Lumpy Space Prince! (COUGHING) (GASPS) (GROANS) Lumpy Spaaaace Priiiince! (COUGHS SOFTLY) Come on.
You've been coughing for five days.
Just take one tablespoon.
Uh B-Bumpy Space Prince? Uh, there's no one here by that name.
Then who am I talking to? Uh, this is Ja Jack.
(COUGHS) Huh.
Well, if you're Jack, then I'mmmm MMMMichael Dean.
Yeah.
And I'm looking for this beautiful prince.
I got to give him this magic potion! See, he was cursed by this evil snot gnoll.
Really? The snot gnoll transformed him into a totally disgusting mucus monster.
What?! No, I'm not! (GASPS) Did you hear that? Huh? What is it?! It's It's (ROARS) It's the snot gnoll! (GROWLING) Aah! Uh-oh! It's coming towards your tree, Jack! (GRUNTS) I'm stuck! I'll protect you, beautiful prince! (HEAVY FOOTSTEPS) Step off, snot gnoll! (CRASH!) Get him, Michael Dean! (CRASH!) Gah! It got me! Ugh! No!! (THUMP!) (GRUNTS) I got one last hit in! (HEAVY FOOTSTEPS) I-It's running away! (FOOTSTEPS SOFTEN, FADE) (SIGHS, COUGHS) I think this is the end for me.
Rally, Michael Dean! (GRUNTS) (POP!) (VOICE BREAKING) It's too late for me, beautiful prince.
Take the potion.
(VOICE BREAKING) Take it and live.
Live! (GROANS) I won't let your sacrifice be wasted.
(GLUG! GLUG!) (GLASS SHATTERS) See? No more coughing.
Hey, yeah.
Actually, I do feel better.
(POP! POP! POP! POP! POP! POP! POP! POP!) Wow.
Maybe that was the wrong potion.
Much better! ICE QUEEN: Lounged atop their comfortable sense of ennui, Flynn the human being and Jacques the raccoon listened to the Ice President read his fiction.
"Lynn the person looked at Janet and asked, 'Am I my feelings? Do I exist because I can't stop feeling?' Janet the fox answered her.
'Feelings are action, and like all mortal action, they are doomed to failure.
'" Flynn and Jacques sighed.
They totally got it.
The end! What do you guys think? Too philosophical? (FLUTE PLAYS) (PENGUINS CHANTING "WENK!") (GROANS) Out of my way! Blazin' blueberries Comin' through! (PENGUINS CHANTING "WENK!") You're ruining my literary reading! Oh, hey, Ice Queen.
Do you want Cake to make your flapjack portrait? Why, ye No! I mean no! Why don't we table this for now, so I can destroy you! Hang on to your turkeys, because I'm about to make the toughest flapjack ever.
Some purple chicken milk dramatic cornmeal Nooooo! And the tears of this reflective turtle.
(WHISPERING) You will outlive everyone you love.
(NORMAL VOICE) Cry for me, little mama! (SIZZLING) Here, Fionna! (SHING!) Tasty! Hey, Ice Queen, I really liked your story.
The imagery was tight.
Can you believe it was my first draft?! No way! Gotcha! I call it "Portrait of an Author.
" (CHUCKLES) I really did like her story, though.
I wonder how that Ice President got elected.
Talk about life imitating art.
Gunter, did you see what Daddy did? Did you guess the secret theme? Wenk! No! You're way off! Fionna and Cake were at the breakfast table.
Gumball consulted the periodic table.
Flame Prince set fire to the table of contents.
The purple thing had a tablespoon of syrup.
And Ice Queen did a tabley thing, too, probably.
Wenk! They're not like regular stories.
They're shorter.
I'll call them grabl No tables! Wenk.
(SLURPS) I'll never look at tables the same way again.
I don't need an editor.
I'm my own editor Editor-in-king! Wenk.
Wenk! Wenk, wenk, wenk, wenk, wenk, wenk, wenk, wenk! Ooh! My custom tape! Remix! (CLEARS THROAT) "Sunlight gleamed through the window as Fionna sat patiently at the breakfast table.
" (HUMMING) Hah! Check out my sweet flippin' moves.
You're a real ace in the kitchen.
Roar! Ha ha! Cooking is fun! Here come the flapjacks! Know what's better than cooking? No! Wha?! These are narrative flapjacks.
Darlin', don't you see the brilliant comedy laid out before you? You wouldn't eat Act II before Act I, silly.
Now try starting with the dockworker having a moral crisis.
Okay.
This one? Fionna, this character doesn't serve any thematic purpose until much later in the meal.
Sorry, Cake, but these just look like formless blobs of sweet flapjack to me.
Mmm It's true.
Maybe if I based them off real people, do some "life cooking" Nonfiction flapjacks! Let's go griddle up portraits of the entire kingdom! Got to get my supplies together.
My portable griddle Mmm.
Some peppermint eggs and the twice-cursed flour! Got it! Ready for stories and flapjacks? Heck yes! You're wasting me on breakfast! FIONNA AND CAKE: No one asked you, Flour Demon.
That was like a cookbook written by a genius.
On to the next chapter "A Game of Gumball.
" Prince Gumball would probs make a great flapjack model.
Sometimes he gets so absorbed in his work that he doesn't move for days.
Ooooh! I can break out the pink sea salt and Hey, there's Gumball! (PAPERS RUSTLING) Uh GUMBALL: Is it here? No.
No.
Ah! Just what I need! The periodic table of candy elements! If I use this one and this one here Ha ha! The perfect strategy! Hyup! (INHALES SHARPLY) Butterscotch Butler, the butterscotch Scottish butler, I challenge you! (SIGHS) (SCOTTISH ACCENT) Again? I've gathered all the necessary strategy and tactics to finally defeat you! To play, one must know strategy, yes.
But to know victory, one must also know their opponent! Opponent? Their dreams their ambitions their rrrregrets (HISSES) and their fears! M-My mortality! (POP!) Byeeee! King me.
(GROWLS) (BOTH GASP) (GLASS SHATTERS) Maybe we should find someone a little more relaxed.
How?! How did you know?! Huh? Oh.
You leave that lying around everywhere.
(SCOFFS) Yes! (SIZZLING) Still not quite right.
How about this for some inspiration? (HISSES) Pancakes and flapjacks are nothing alike! (GROANS) Aw, Cake.
It's just that flapjack literature is such a niche genre, and none of my flapjacks are turning out any good.
Come on, Cake.
We've still got 10 minutes before the library closes.
It's Flame Prince! What's that fire hazard doing in the library? Hmm? Oh, no! Oh! I love that author! Have you read her newest book? I-I could, uh, find it for you.
Oh.
Uh, n-nah, that's okay.
I'll just start with this one.
Thanks, though.
Uh Aah! Oh.
Sorry about that.
Uh Uh W-w-w W-w-w Eh No, no, no, no, no! Hot, hot, hot! Wow.
I am not graceful today.
N-Not the first editions! Ow, ow! Ow, ow, ow! Easy Unh! (FOOSH!) Gah! Huh?! Leaving, yes? Yeah.
I'll borrow this one, please.
Of course! I'll just need you to sign it out.
(SIZZLING) (BOTH SCREAM) (SIGHS) I'm sorry.
I have a duty to serve the library's patrons, but I'm also sworn to protect the books.
I can't in good conscience let you take it home.
But maybe I could read this book to you? Listen, I just came in here to use the bathroom, man.
I thought you had to, like, check out a book first to pee.
Actually, I don't even have a library card.
(LAUGHING) (BOTH LAUGHING) (WHOOSH!) (PANTING) Lumpy Space Prince! (COUGHING) (GASPS) (GROANS) Lumpy Spaaaace Priiiince! (COUGHS SOFTLY) Come on.
You've been coughing for five days.
Just take one tablespoon.
Uh B-Bumpy Space Prince? Uh, there's no one here by that name.
Then who am I talking to? Uh, this is Ja Jack.
(COUGHS) Huh.
Well, if you're Jack, then I'mmmm MMMMichael Dean.
Yeah.
And I'm looking for this beautiful prince.
I got to give him this magic potion! See, he was cursed by this evil snot gnoll.
Really? The snot gnoll transformed him into a totally disgusting mucus monster.
What?! No, I'm not! (GASPS) Did you hear that? Huh? What is it?! It's It's (ROARS) It's the snot gnoll! (GROWLING) Aah! Uh-oh! It's coming towards your tree, Jack! (GRUNTS) I'm stuck! I'll protect you, beautiful prince! (HEAVY FOOTSTEPS) Step off, snot gnoll! (CRASH!) Get him, Michael Dean! (CRASH!) Gah! It got me! Ugh! No!! (THUMP!) (GRUNTS) I got one last hit in! (HEAVY FOOTSTEPS) I-It's running away! (FOOTSTEPS SOFTEN, FADE) (SIGHS, COUGHS) I think this is the end for me.
Rally, Michael Dean! (GRUNTS) (POP!) (VOICE BREAKING) It's too late for me, beautiful prince.
Take the potion.
(VOICE BREAKING) Take it and live.
Live! (GROANS) I won't let your sacrifice be wasted.
(GLUG! GLUG!) (GLASS SHATTERS) See? No more coughing.
Hey, yeah.
Actually, I do feel better.
(POP! POP! POP! POP! POP! POP! POP! POP!) Wow.
Maybe that was the wrong potion.
Much better! ICE QUEEN: Lounged atop their comfortable sense of ennui, Flynn the human being and Jacques the raccoon listened to the Ice President read his fiction.
"Lynn the person looked at Janet and asked, 'Am I my feelings? Do I exist because I can't stop feeling?' Janet the fox answered her.
'Feelings are action, and like all mortal action, they are doomed to failure.
'" Flynn and Jacques sighed.
They totally got it.
The end! What do you guys think? Too philosophical? (FLUTE PLAYS) (PENGUINS CHANTING "WENK!") (GROANS) Out of my way! Blazin' blueberries Comin' through! (PENGUINS CHANTING "WENK!") You're ruining my literary reading! Oh, hey, Ice Queen.
Do you want Cake to make your flapjack portrait? Why, ye No! I mean no! Why don't we table this for now, so I can destroy you! Hang on to your turkeys, because I'm about to make the toughest flapjack ever.
Some purple chicken milk dramatic cornmeal Nooooo! And the tears of this reflective turtle.
(WHISPERING) You will outlive everyone you love.
(NORMAL VOICE) Cry for me, little mama! (SIZZLING) Here, Fionna! (SHING!) Tasty! Hey, Ice Queen, I really liked your story.
The imagery was tight.
Can you believe it was my first draft?! No way! Gotcha! I call it "Portrait of an Author.
" (CHUCKLES) I really did like her story, though.
I wonder how that Ice President got elected.
Talk about life imitating art.
Gunter, did you see what Daddy did? Did you guess the secret theme? Wenk! No! You're way off! Fionna and Cake were at the breakfast table.
Gumball consulted the periodic table.
Flame Prince set fire to the table of contents.
The purple thing had a tablespoon of syrup.
And Ice Queen did a tabley thing, too, probably.
Wenk! They're not like regular stories.
They're shorter.
I'll call them grabl No tables! Wenk.
(SLURPS) I'll never look at tables the same way again.