Adventure Time with Finn & Jake s08e01 Episode Script

1 (MOUSE SQUEAKS) (PENGUINS CHIRP) (ALL CHEERING) (SCREECHES) (QUACKS) Adventure Time Come on, grab your friends We'll go to very distant lands With Jake the dog and Finn the human The fun will never end It's Adventure Time (IMITATING SIREN) (CREAK!) (SCREAMS) BUBBLEGUM: Okay, how about now? - (CLANG) - FINN: Yeah, I can feel it.
But there's a little delay.
Hmm.
How about now? (CLANG) Now I felt it before you hit me.
Whoa! Really?! Ha ha! Just kidding! It's fine.
It's fine.
Come on, now.
This is serious.
And expensive.
I've been working on this new arm since the last time this happened, so please don't blow it up so fast this time.
(CHUCKLES) We'll see.
Honestly, though, this doesn't even feel that weird now.
I mean, maybe it's 'cause it already happened once before, but, I don't know.
It feels like normal, I guess.
(BANANA GUARD CLEARS THROAT) I mean, I know it's "serious.
" (GROANS) Jake and Susan and Rattleballs all got pretty banged up.
But for me, I guess it's like I don't know.
It feels right or something.
What's weird, though, is that grass guy.
Kinda rubs me the wrong way, that one.
Yes the mysterious grass guy.
Tell me again what happened with the two of you this morning.
(INHALES, EXHALES DEEPLY) Okay, so, as you know after Susan had gone crazy and kicked Jake's butt, my grass arm got steamed and kicked her butt.
Then it ran off and merged butts with my Finn Sword and turned into this guy, and he starts talking smack! Mah! Maaaaah! What?! Mah! Mah! Hey, man, you stay back! Eeyuh! Muh eeyuh! Muh eeyuh! Hey! I-I said stay back, man! I seen what you did to Susan! (GROANING) (STRAINING) Susan's cells are on fire.
Susah! Susah?! Hey! (PANTING) Stop! (BOTH GRUNTING) BOTH: You leave her alone, you weirdo! BOTH: Susan's my friend! Fruh freh Friend.
What?! Huh? I said, "What?" What did you say? "Whu?" Oh.
Okay.
My ears weren't working before, for some reason.
Or my mouth.
(CHUCKLES) Sorry about that.
Also, why are you dressed like me? Get a life, man.
What?! You're dressed like me, man! Geez! Anyway, you just keep your hands off of Susan, guy.
Susan? Can you hear me? It's Finn.
Susan? Owwww! No touch.
- (GASPS) - FINN: Oh.
Sorry.
(SUSAN GROANING) You keep your hands off of my friend! What are you on abou Aaah! Whoa! (THUD) Oof! Don't worry, Susan! (BOTH GRUNTING) All right, all right! Enough! Truce, truce! (GROANS) (BOTH PANTING) Sorry, dawg, but I can't let you hurt Susan.
(GROWLS) I wasn't gonna hurt her! I was protecting her from you! Me? But I'm Finn Mertens, man.
I'm 100% hero.
Everyone knows that.
What?! I'm Finn Mertens! Tsk, tsk, tsk.
Sorry, man.
I mean, I'm flattered, but come on.
No, you come on! JAKE: Finn! Hold on, buddy! I'm coming! (INHALES DEEPLY) Jake! Boy, am I glad to see you! This bozo keeps saying he's me.
Why don't you set him straight and tell him who the real Finn is.
That one.
What? Yeah, I don't know what you are.
Some kind of demon-plant thing, probably.
But I Beating up on my poor brother like some kind of demon! - (GASPS) - Yeah! Show us your true form, demon! Yeah, show us! BOTH: (CHANTING) Show us! Show us! Show us! Show us! Show us! Show us! (CHUCKLES) (GRUNTS) Oof! Whoa! Yeah, it's a real mess out here.
We're gonna need the huge ambulance.
Yeah, no.
No.
No, the huge No.
No.
No.
Put Banana Guard number 2 on the phone.
Well, go get him! All right, all right.
I think I've heard just about enoughhhhh to know that I need to hear that all over again.
Why don't you take it from the top? Okay, so, as you know Hey, BMO.
(SCREAMS) (GASPING, WHIMPERING) (RAPID FOOTSTEPS) BMO? (POP!) Oh, hey! My nose is back.
(SNIFFING) Mmm! Stinks good in here.
(SNIFFS) It's got that "big boy" musk.
Socks, trash, butt All the stinks of home.
Ha! Hey, what are you doing? Get out of here! Ha! Man, I remember that day.
That was when BMO lost control of the tank.
(CHUCKLES) Oh.
Mm-hmm.
Ha! Aw.
BANDIT PRINCESS: Hey! Give me that! What the crease?! You gonna get it now, dude! That's the Grass Sword! Hyah! What the hey? Oh, no.
No, no, no.
(GROANS) I hate this.
I liked it before.
(SPIDER HUMMING) Who are you? Oh, you know A curse.
An emissary from beyond.
Some kind of grass octopus spider.
(SCREAMS) Grass Demon! You're making me nervous, dude.
No! No, no, no! Don't worry about me.
(STRAINING) I am worrying about you! Dude, stop this! It's okay.
I just gotta do something here.
One sec.
Okay, just one more (MUFFLED) second.
So, how are you today? I'm good.
I want out of here, though.
I've pretty much done all I can do in here.
You and me, we could do a lot better out there.
I want out, too.
Let's do it.
Wait do you mean out of the sword or out of the cocoon? (CHUCKLES) Okay.
I get it.
When we get out of here, let me do the talking.
(GROANS) And then you asked me to take it from the top.
So that guy is definitely an alternate-reality evil doppelganger, right? Huh.
No.
He's not even from a different timeline.
Finn, he's just you.
Yeah, you say that, but I'm me.
- So he's - (TELEPHONE RINGS) BMO? (SHATTERING) News flash, hotshot You're in the house, and you're made out of grass, and you're breaking my china, and I'm scared! What?! This grass guy's scaring BMO! Let's get him! Waaaaaaaaah! I've got a crush on Jake.
(OLD-TIMEY MUSIC PLAYING) Oh, no, no, no.
I can't get anything right! (SCREAMS) (MUSIC CONTINUES, MUTED) (MUSIC SLOWS) JAKE: Hey, weedy! Hey.
Just let me suck around a bit, okay, man? No way, buster! You're hurting BMO! I'm okay! Geeeeeeet outta here! Come on, Finn! Jake, uh, I'm still processing all this.
JAKE: United front! Okay.
(GROANS) You scare BMO, you muck up my mom's records, you waste my br You waste my breakfast syr Breakfast syrup! Hey! Look at me when I'm mad! Look at my eyes! They're mad! And they have to look in your Hey! They have to look in your eyes! Take my anger into your face! You're a fraud! You think you can fake Jake? You can't fake Jake! Cake, rake, lake, hamburger steak! Oh, man! (INHALES DEEPLY) Oh! (PANTING) You're a chum-bait! Jake, no! It's for fishing, BMO! It's something that fishermen use! And he is one! He's a chum-bait! FINN: Hey! Grass-me, do you want a Finn cake? But only Finns get Finn cakes.
That's true.
(SNIFFS) Wait.
(SNIFFS DEEPLY) That's that good sugary trash, like a big boy likes.
Oh, geez.
I really fell off the horse here.
Maybe I'm not who I am.
Sure we are.
(CHUCKLES) Weird days, man.
Give me a minute to catch up.
(SNIFFLES) Hey, you gonna eat that BMO cake? (TINK!) (KCH! KCH! KCH!) My hands are still tacky from breakfast syrup.
Hey, do you think Grass Finn's loco? I think he'll be okay.
He just needs a place to crash while he figures some stuff out.
Okay.
(SNORING) (SNORING) Is waiting for the rising (GROANING) (GROANING) JAKE: What's the deal, bro? I called you for grub forever ago.
I feel like crud, man.
Why do I feel like such crud? Um Is it 'cause you lost the Finn sword? No.
Is it 'cause you lost your arm again and it got replaced with a metal one? No.
The arm's cool.
Is it 'cause you got, like, a grass clone that lives on our roof? No.
That's fine.
(CHEWING) Um, is it (MUNCHES) 'cause you crushed every bone in Susan's body and put her in the hospital? Susan?! I totally forgot! I gotta make sure she's all right.
Wait! What about (GROANS) He's not becoming part of the tree or something mythological like that, is he? He's just thinking.
There's a bird building a nest in his mouth.
(CHIRPING) Hey, Grass Finn.
You all right? (GROANS) Okay.
I've gotta run an errand.
But Jake will be around.
(WHISPERS) I'll be back in a couple hours.
Man, IDK.
This guy kinda gives me the willies.
Just set him up with some activities.
Pretend he's me.
He is me.
Yeah, I guess so.
I'll just do Finn stuff with him.
Thanks, bro.
(PBHTTTT!) Grass Finn! I made meatloaf! (FOOTSTEPS QUICKLY APPROACHING) Oh, boy! My favorite! Hey, that's Finn's meatlo Yeah my meatloaf bib.
What about it? Nothing.
This just has to rest for a while and I want my meatloaf now! Ha! Okay, okay.
(CHUCKLES) Just how you like it.
(CHOMPS) Mm-hmm! You lost some there.
It's this grass bod.
I guess grass boys don't get any meatloaf.
It's okay.
We'll just find you a new favorite food.
(FAN SQUEAKING) Susan? Can you hear me? (SIGHS) I'm sorry I couldn't stop you earlier.
I lost control and I realized when my arm went all nasty that being out of control like that was so scary and And painful.
And that's how you must've felt after your brain jazz got fried by that eel and he went bonkers on everyone.
I wasn't strong enough to stop you.
In a way, this is all my fault.
Finn! You did this?! Doctor Princess! Do you know what it means that she's hooked up to these? Do you even know what that one does And the creepy breathing one? And that yucky dripping bag? Ugh! What are you going to do to fix this? I'll do anything to help Susan.
- Anything? - Yes! Good, 'cause I'm tired of doing double shifts.
Put this on.
Okay, you're a doctor now.
Good luck.
Wait, wait, whoa, whoa, wait! I don't know how to doctor! Look, no one really knows anything.
The truth is I'm not technically a doctor.
I don't even have a medical degree.
I just came in here one day for an X-ray, and my first name is Doctor, so, well, one thing led to another.
Ciao.
Wait! Doctor Princess! Hey, Doc, can you help me? Sorry.
I'm not a real (SNIFFLES) Aha! Just what we need A real Finn-style tune.
(AIR WHOOSHING) I can't breathe.
I can't make music, I can't breathe, I can't Hey, hey.
It's okay! Not breathing is cool.
Hey, I know what you like Fighting evil! Yeah! I hate evil! Well, let's give trouble to some trouble! You take the lead on this one, brother.
Know any evil dungeons you want to smash? Yeah.
I know somewhere evil.
Where does it hurt? It's the big one for me, Doc.
It's really over.
I get this pain in my paw, and it just stays in my paw.
Oh, it's horrible.
Ah! Wow! You're a healing genius, Doc.
Huh.
This place feels kinda familiar somehow.
(WHIRRING) (ROARS) BOTH: Huh?! (ROARS) Grass Finn! help me! (GROANING) Jake?! Ouch! Ouch! Jake! Hold on! H-Hey! Great job, man! Hmm! Okay.
Where's the next patient? In here, Doctor.
Hey, baby! What?! Where's Doctor Princess?! I just wanted some TLC from a cute gal.
(CLICK) So, uh how's your, uh general condition? My back is in agony, like always.
My toes taste like candy corn.
Is that bad? And everything smells like licorice Except for licorice, which smells like (CRUNCH) Wha?! How do you feel, Ice King? I feel great! Oh, mama! I feel 500 years old again! (LAUGHS) Hey, we should hit the town, go dancing (THINKING) "Doctor Finn.
" This feels pretty right.
GRASS BEAST: All right.
So you've fought your way to the center of the maze.
But to pass this gate, you must answer my deadly riddle.
"What squats on stony feet" Time.
The answer was probably "time," right? Good job, man.
Real good job.
Aw, come on.
(GATE CREAKS) (SNIFFS) This is where the evil is.
And I'm-a gonna kill it! Hey why don't we take five? (WARBLING) Who's out there?! Busting into the Grassy Wizard's grassy fortress?! Use your head! Hey.
Do I know you? Uh, duh! I'm Jake the dog.
Everybody knows me.
No.
I think he means me.
He (LAUGHING EVILLY) (TINK!) He made me.
I did? I did! The, uh The the the the grass sword! Geez, my memory is bad.
Okay, guy, I got a lot of big questions for you.
Why did you make me? Am I bad? Am I part of a conspiracy hatched by one of Finn's enemies? Or am I an eternal curse sent by the globs? (CHUCKLES) No, nothing like that.
I just thought it would be cool.
"Grass blade" It's a sort of pun.
Actually, this is great for me, personally.
Since you're my creation, you have to do what I say! Chop up this trespassing dog! I am your master Ooh! Obey m Oof! Okay, maybe just leave Ugh! (GRUNTING) Hey, buddy, that's that's plenty.
Fight the evil, right? Yeah but not like that.
It ain't right.
Not ri right? Right here in my hand I hold the latest miracle cure.
Once I release this surgical sword, Susan's warrior instincts will kick in and she'll snap back to consciousness.
Any questions? No, let's see where this goes.
I want to see brains.
All right.
(ALL GASP) Hey, y'all.
I'm back.
What?! A sword?! That's not how you practice medicine! Don't listen to her, Doc.
You're great! You fixed me up tip-top.
Jibbs! Did your hand always look like that?! Well I guess maybe not.
But I trust you.
Yo, yo, yo, Mr.
Fox! What's going on (CRUNCH) Aagh! My back! I'm no doctor.
That felt kind of right for a while.
But nah.
They would've been better off if I had just stayed out of it.
Uh, yeah, speaking of that Banana guards, prep the garden shed.
We need 50cc of fertilizer, stat! See, Grass Finn? In the end, you did the right thing Just like Finn would have.
Uh good job, grass me.
But I'm not you.
It's clear that I'm someone else.
So from now on, call me Fern the human.
(ENGINE ROARS) (TIRES SCREECH) Oof! Hello.
Excuse me.
Fern needs this bike.
(TIRES SQUEAL) No! Starchy's midlife crisis! Hey, Fern, wait! Let him go, man.
Trust me.
(ENGINE REVS) (MONITOR BEEPING) Awesome!